One of my favorite Totally Laime recurring bits is hearing host Elizabeth Laime talk about her experience as a narrator of the unauthorized documentary Hangin’ with Leo!!

My fellow Laimewads know what I’m referencing, and if you’re a big fan of the show, like me, you’ve wondered exactly what this legendary VHS tape holds within it. For one lucky Laimewad, that wait is over. Thanks to some online shopping, a copy of Hangin’ with Leo!! has come into my possession. Below is my recap of the gossip-fueled wonder, and an interview with Elizabeth Laime.

CONTEST

To win this copy of Hangin’ with Leo!!, signed by Elizabeth Laime, and a special note from Totally Laime Podcast’s Elizabeth and Andy, leave a comment on this blog post with your favorite Totally Laime moment of this past year. Check out today’s year-in-review episode for inspiration.

CONTEST RULES

You must live within the United States to enter. One winner will be selected on Friday, Feb. 3, 2012, so make sure you post a comment before that date.

THE TAPE

As boasted by the VHS cover, Hangin’ with Leo follows a young Leonardo DiCaprio (the video was released in 1998) partying with pals, at the beach, and out on dates. The video shows us mostly latenight footage of DiCaprio in his young 20s, as he leaves bars and clubs. Celebrity journalists let us know all about the exclusive world that we’re seeing.

From Leo’s biography, we learn the young actor is an “earthy child,” born of hippie parents in California. Though, we’re shown photos and video of DiCaprio flirting with young women near his new car, we’re assured that he is a down-to-earth young man, because he’ll casually sport headbands and barrettes. How can he not be down-to-earth? He’s just hangin’ out with his hair in a scrunchie!

One of my favorite elements of Hangin’ with Leo are the transitions. During a segment about Leo, the Ladies Man, we heard narrator Elizabeth Laime say: “If Frank Sinatra and the gang were called the Rat Pack, Leo the Lion and his pals have been called the Cat Pack for the way they carouse and treat Hollywood like their personal playground.”

We soon cut to footage of DiCaprio, in a parking lot, kicking his feet spastically into the air and falling to the ground.

“Leo loves doing karate kicks.”

And then we move on to the next topic. Who was DiCaprio fighting? Invisible ninjas?! Does he even know martial arts? I NEED MORE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS KARATE MASTER, AND LESS ABOUT HIS WOMEN.

When we see Leo, the Beach Boy, he’s trying to hit a baseball with a baseball bat, alone, while standing on the beach in swim trunks. One of the celebrity journalist notes how his partying ways may account for his doughy midsection. I don’t know, celebrity journalist. DiCaprio may, in fact, be a secret ninja, judging by his karate kicks. So your story doesn’t quite check out.

Next we hear about Leo, The Renaissance Man: “Despite the fact that Leo is a fast food freak, he loves quality literature. These days some say the 6-foot-1 hunk du jour is becoming a renaissance man.”

This transition left me in mild confusion. I consider myself a bit of a bookworm, and I’ve enjoyed a burger and fries now and again. Hell, sometimes I bring a book to a fast food joint to read and eat AT THE SAME TIME. I’m glad to know that DiCaprio and I can share that together…and also share our headbands and martial arts capabilities.

Now that we know DiCaprio’s height, are there any other body proportions to share?

“The Titanic star is a size eleven shoe, but he’s got even bigger shoes to fill.”

Yes, nailed it.

Hangin’ with Leo doesn’t only feature the voice of our awesome narrator and a few celebrity journalists, we also hear from a few random women on the street about what their favorite DiCaprio traits are.

One of the celebrity journalists breaks it down for us as to why DiCaprio is such a heartthrob: “He always plays someone that you can admire and dream about, and this is what girls want when they go to the movies. They want to dream about a special guy, someone they wish they could find in the real world.”

Now I’m not here to debate the findings of this celebrity journalist, however, I do have a four word response to that last quote: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. I rest my case.

Though Hangin’ with Leo!! left me with many questions (why karate kicks?!), it also satisfied me in knowing that earthy child DiCaprio is just a man trying to get through this world like the rest of us. And if he can juggle fast food, quality literature, karate kicks, and the opposite sex, then there may be a chance for the rest of us too.

INTERVIEW WITH ELIZABETH LAIME

What are your personal highlights from your experience narrating Hangin’ with Leo!!?

The main highlight was that when they hired me I was a naive 17-year-old. They told me over the phone, in an apologetic tone, that I would only make “twelve fifty an hour” to do it. I had been babysitting at the time making $12 an hour, so I wasn’t thrilled but I thought, I’ll do it for whatever. When I received the check for three hours of work, it was actually for $3,750. They’d meant $1,250 per hour, and little did they know I would’ve done it for a few bucks! Also, looking back it was pretty funny. I went and bought a suit at Ann Taylor to go and do the voiceover because to me it was my first “real job.” I’m sure the guys at the recording studio thought that was funny – this young girl showing up to narrate a sleazy TMZ type thing and wearing a business suit like I was going to Wall Street.

Do you have any favorite facts that you learned about Leonardo DiCaprio from narrating this video?

Well I didn’t know that he was SO INTO DOING KARATE KICKS IN PARKING GARAGES!! Also, I had no idea he loved scrunchies so much. Nor that his dick was so big (size 11, as you mention).

If you could narrate an unauthorized documentary about any other stars, who would you pick?

Ummm, OPRAH!!!

Now that the year-in-review episode has dropped, can you tell us any goals you have for this next year of Totally Laime Podcast, or upcoming guests you can disclose?

My goals are to just keep on keepin on! We’re also hoping to start doing some live shows. Guests I hope to get this year are: Megan Amram, Rob Delaney, Nick Kroll, Sarah Silverman, Scott Aukerman and Anthony Jeselnik to name just six of fifty-two.

Who’s your Totally Laime dream guest?

C’mon now…rhymes with Boprah.

Is there an Oprah episode, or topic, that hasn’t come up yet during The Oprah Game that you’re really hoping to dive into with a guest one of these days?

I can’t think of one off the top of my head although a few Laimewads have Twittered at me asking when a specific episode is going to come up. I would hope we would eventually cover them all! It is surprising how many times we’ve revisited the same episodes – the girl in the cage, the mom who drove drunk and killed all those people, anything having to do with molestation. You know, all the uplifting ones.

What topics in the Laime or Totally Rapidfire game do you enjoy asking guests about the most?

It’s a toss up between bald vaginas and the death penalty – partially because those two are the ones that most guests seem surprised by, and also I’m terrible at guessing what the guests are going to say to those two. Also, Garden State. I had no idea so many people hated that movie…like to the point I feel embarrassed that I liked it so much, and even thought it was cool to like it!

Sometimes your listeners can hear you, Andy, and the guest are enjoying beverages during the show. What’s your poison? Any special Totally Laime drinks?

My poison is usually a light beer or red wine. Andy of course loves the stomach churning combo of tequila and root beer. He is a special one, that Andy. I guess that drink combo can definitely fall under the category of totally lame.

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