12 Animals That Could ‘Planet of The Apes’ Us If They Tried

The Cracked Podcast #194 July 24, 2017

If sci-fi movies have taught you one thing about species with queen-based social hierarchies, it’s that you should always kill the queen. Same goes for insects right? Kill the queen and the ant hill or bee’s nest goes away. Sounds good, unless you’re dealing with Argentine ants, who have about 300 queens for every 1,000 worker ants. 

How do you kill them? 

You don’t.

Where do they live? Probably Argentina, right? 

Wrong, they’ve taken over just about every continent other than Antarctica. So good luck with your new insect overlords.

On this week’s podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Cracked’s Katie Goldin and Daniel O’Brien, as well as comedians Joey Clift, Caitlin Gill and Matt Kirshen to discuss ants, crows, cats, immortal jellyfish and 7 other species whose crazy abilities will allow them to take over the world once us humans are gone.

East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code ‘CRACKED’ at checkout.

West Coast! Pack an extra life, some elixirs and a poke ball. The next live Cracked Podcast is Saturday, August 12th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Alex Schmidt asks Michael Swaim, Adam Ganser, Monika Scott, Mike Drucker and Brodie Reed, “what is the best video game universe to live in?” Tickets are $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/WCKg8f

Guys. Gals. Aliens. Did you miss the premiere of Cracked’s newest podcast, Cracked Movie Club? Don’t worry. There’s plenty of time to catch up. Hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson feature a new director each month as they do a deep into four of the director’s films with jokes, insane behind-the-scene stories and crazy fan theories. And July is devoted to none other than Steven Spielberg.

Listen to their episode about Raiders of the Lost Ark here: https://goo.gl/ygBfW1

Listen to their episode about Jurassic Park here: https://goo.gl/FK9gV4

Listen to their episode about E.T. here: https://goo.gl/aQmqzD

And to hear the newest episode each and every Thursday, search for Cracked Movie Club in your podcast app of choice or click here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Footnotes:

Caitlin Gill on Twitter: https://goo.gl/HblhwS

Katie Goldin on Twitter: https://goo.gl/GBnSWq

Matt Kirshen on Twitter: https://goo.gl/TC2tML

Joey Clift on Twitter: https://goo.gl/oXXSBe

Daniel O’Brien on Twitter: https://goo.gl/oQWtkY

Article: The Atlantic: These Dolphins Are Using Sea Sponges As Tools: https://goo.gl/Gic9E1

Article: Wired: Clever Dolphins Use Shells To Catch Fish: https://goo.gl/CBu32Q

Article: BBC: The Dolphins That Kill Each Other’s Young: https://goo.gl/GwKnDG

Article: BBC News: Ant Mega-Colony Takes Over World: https://goo.gl/JETzX

Article: Cracked: 6 Animals That Kill Nature’s Scariest Creatures For Fun: https://goo.gl/EPu58

Article: Cracked: 5 Animals That Could Take Over The World (If They Wanted To): https://goo.gl/xq0W1

Article: Cracked: 5 Animals Who Taught Themselves Eerily Human Skills: https://goo.gl/3R3zxb

Article: Cracked: The 6 Most Horrifying Abilities Animals Are Evolving: https://goo.gl/pZUW48

Article: Cracked: 29 Animals You Didn’t Realize Were Evil Geniuses: https://goo.gl/E49yS9

Article: Cracked: 5 Super-Adorable Animals That Can Kill The Hell Out Of You: https://goo.gl/wr0MWL

Video: Raccoon Tries To Eat Cotton Candy: https://goo.gl/yULLCR

Website: Daptone Records: https://goo.gl/Vn5rbB

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Earwolf
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