EP. 65 — Deaf

CHRIS GETHARD:

Hello to all my translators being held hostage! It’s Beautiful/Anonymous. One hour, one phone call, no names, no holds barred. Hey everybody it’s Chris Gethard here. Another episode of  Beautiful/Anonymous. You can hear it in my voice — a little gravely. Guess what? I’m just coming off the road. I’m back in New York after two weeks of being on the road – meeting all you guys face to face. Starting on Vancouver we made our way all over North America and it’s been so cool to shake your guys hands. Thank for listening, and also — good huggers. That’s one thing I’ve learned about  Beautiful/Anonymous fans out there are people who enjoy a good and at times inappropriately long hug. Thank you for all the hugs.

Listen, if you do wanna see us we’re back one night only. This episode’s dropping Tuesday, June 13th. Final show, Asbury Park, New Jersey. There are still tickets left, I need Jersey to step up. I’ve been telling everybody, man. Jersey my home town — looks like we’re not going to see it out. That’s okay. I have to be humble about that. We don’t have to sell out. Point being, though. You’re in Jersey, you’re nearby, we’ve got two shows at House of Independance. ChrisGeth.com you can get tickets right now. I wanna have a blowout. I wanna party on the boardwalk after we finish this tour. It’s gonna be like Bash at the Beach, man. Like the old WCW Wrestling event, we’re gonna have a Bash at the Beach. If you’re downloading this the day it comes out it’s tonight. Get yourself to Jersey! Tell your boss, “Hey, I’m getting out of here early. Cuttin out early. Gotta go party and get emo and listen to a phone call.” I’ll see you tonight at Asbury Park, it’ll be good.

Last week’s episode was one of our live episodes from the tour. We uploaded that from the road. It was from Portland, the Helium Comedy Club. Lot of feedback from people saying it was an extremely  funny episode which I greatly appreciate. Also a lot of feedback from people saying that they felt bad for the caller and that they weren’t too  thrilled on me. I wanna go ahead and say: it’s valid. I get it. I don’t disagree. A lot of people saying that with the live crowd there they could feel that I need need to entertain that crowd and maybe the caller had a less intimate experience. A lot of people saying that I threw the initial caller under the bus, saying she dropped the ball and that her sister saved it, and that I was pandering to the crowd a little bit. I think there’s some truth to that. I’m not gonna argue with you.

I think if you ever see – one thing we’ve all learned from this tour – if you see me tweet it out — tweet out the picture – and there’s a big crowd behind me you know you’re getting a slightly different experience. And I’ve learned that, and I do wanna apologize to the 24-year-old caller from the Portland call. If you felt put upon. In my heard, in my gut, what I felt onstage that night was that she and I were in it together. We both felt that tension, we were laughing about it. My hope is that it felt like there was camaraderie there but I understand listening to it seemed harsher than the normal call, and for anyone who wasn’t into that: I get it. I do think it was funny, I do think the live calls are funny. I do think we’re gonna put some more of them out there in the world. I’ll tell you in the coming weeks how you guys can get access to all of them. Some people don’t want em, some people do. We’re gonna figure that out, we’ll let you know. They’ve been a really wonderful time and that Baltimore one in particular, when you guys hear that one.. Ooh. You’re going to lose your minds.

Now, let’s talk about this week’s’ call cause I’m so excited and I have been so excited. We’ve been sitting on this one for a month or two but we gotta get this one right. Cause it’s one of the most special calls that’s ever happend if you ask me. I always remind myself: I am so lucky I get to do this I get talk to people who live so differently than I do. And it’s a blessing, it’s a blessing to see that there’s people from all different walks of life. And I always figured certain types of people who Im never gonna be able to talk to cause maybe they don’t know about podcast, maybe they come from different circumstances where  that’s just not a factor in their lives, and I’ll say: I was a little ignorant. The caller today comes from a world where I just thought, there’s no way they’d consume a podcast. There’s no way!

Um, I was wrong. I was totally wrong. And my mind was blown. And I’m glad it was blown. I got to hear about a life that I didn’t ever think I’d get the insider’s look at. I’m so grateful that it happened. It’s a really cool crazy thing that I got to participate in. I’m so psyched about it and I think you’re gonna be psyched about it too.

I got fired up. We got so fired up here at Earwolf that we’re actually doing a thing. Wanan put this out here: end of the episode we’re selling a piece of merchandise. It ties into the episode you’re about to hear. Some of you guys turn up the episodes before the outros. This week, I’m just asking you, as a favor to me stick around. Hear about this thing. I’m not making any money off of this piece of merchandise, it’s towards a greater purpose, it relates to this call.

I’m so psyched. I don’t wanna say too much, I’ve been talking too much already. It’s one of my favorite calls. Think it’s gonna be one of your favorite calls too. Let’s get into it.

Operator:
Thank you for calling Beautiful/Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you’re on the show with the host. (beeps)

CALLER:
Hello?

CHRIS GETHARD:
Hi.

CALLER:
Oh, hi. How’s it going?

CHRIS GETHARD:
It’s okay. How about you?

CALLER:
Uh, I can’t complain. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s good. It sounds like we’re on the same page about that one.

CALLER:
Yeah, for sure. But  actually, Chris, there’s something I have to explain to you right off the bat before we get too far in this conversation. Um, so, this voice that you’re hearing right now is actually not who you’re going to be speaking to today. Um, the person that wants to speak to you happens to be deaf, and  he wanted to have a conversation with you. So, I’m just like a friend to this person who agreed to make this conversation go as smoothly as possible.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. That’s …

CALLER:
Yeah.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s, oh, okay. That’s head-spinning, spinning. So, so, okay. This is cool. So, let me, so the logistics, I’m … So, so, I’ll speak and you, you speak sign language, you’ll pass on what I say and your friend will let you know wh- how to respond. Is that how this works?

CALLER:
Exactly. So, while you’re speaking, I’ll relay it to him in sign. He’s going to sign back to me and I will hand off the new information to you. (chuckles)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. Okay. This is exciting and this is  right away, I sh- I feel like we should all just say like this is  this is an experiment that I haven’t done before and that I bet you haven’t. So, the pacing of this one might be a little different than what are you, our listeners are, are  are used to. But I think anybody listening would be excited to give it a chance. So, that’s cool. So …

CALLER:
Uh, yeah. So, just want to let you know I set it from. So, from this point on, if anything he’s saying, not from me.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Great. Great. Thank you for, thank you for doing this. This is  this is really, this is exciting.

CALLER:
Oh, anytime.

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, do you, are you a regular  so, so, so, as far, as far as the podcast itself, it  I d- I don’t want to be  insulting in any way, it is an audio medium. I’m a little surprised  to have someone who’s, who’s hearing impaired reach out just because of that. Maybe you could let me know how you came to know the show.

CALLER:
Yeah. I figure that was what was going to catch your attention.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
So, when I called in, I explained that. (laughs) Um, I am actually a fan of this podcast and I know some other work you’ve done. Uh, so for me, what I do to hear podcast is  I send it out to get translated into English. So, I read all your podcasts. Um, there are services that will do that for me.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. That, I want to apologize for the amount of ums and likes and so’s you’ve had to read, also the amount of times that I get excited, ask a question, then reiterate it like three or four times before I let the person answer. I feel like I infuriate myself with that. You, you may be more than any other consumer of this show, the  I, I just want to apologize because you, you’ve taken on the chin harder than anybody when it comes to that.

CALLER:
Uh, (laughs) honestly, I haven’t even noticed that, but now you point it out, I’m going to read through again and probably judge you a little bit.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
But, honestly, reading through  your podcast is one of the best to read through because of the phone conversations. It’s just nice back and forth, nice back and forth. I tried other ones  like I enjoy comedy. And  like Comedy Bang Bang is so hard to read, even though I really enjoy it at times, but I know I’m missing like more than half the jokes, out of just the context is so different when it’s spoken. But  no. Actually  this podcast is like my fun read during the week  and just getting to hear all these different stories, it’s, it’s really awesome. So, I’m sure it’s great to listen to, but I have a great time reading it, too, as well. (chuckles)

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s very cool. Thank you. So, maybe let me know, you know, as, as you know from, from reading the transcripts, I like to just get into it. So  as always, anything that you don’t want to answer, just tell me, “Buzz off.” That’s fine. Were you born deaf? Is this something that happened in the course of your life? Maybe you can just let me know like the background.

CALLER:
Yeah, of course. Um, just so you know, deaf people are really blunt. So, don’t ever worry about asking the wrong questions. I’d rather you just put it out there. We’re blunt people. We’re very forward. So  I think you’ll probably notice that within this conversation. Um, yes. So, actually, I was born hard of hearing. Um, I used to wear hearing aids. And at that time growing up, I would say I would, would have more had like a hearing perspective on life. Um, but then around age six I got sick, and the rest of my hearing went. So, I’ve been deaf ever since like six years old.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow, that’s, that must be pretty brutal for a, a six-year-old kind to have to  to have to figure out that new world. That, that, that, what a, I feel like that’s like, like just, just old enough that you can understand what’s going on and not nearly old enough to be able to process that.

CALLER:
Uh, I mean, to be honest, I mean, I already had some hearing loss, so I already could tell I was different. I just didn’t understand why or how. Like I just didn’t have an identity of being deaf or hard of hearing. And then, when it happened, I knew like I could tell them that time I was different that there was a change. I just didn’t understand what it was because I wasn’t surrounded by that culture yet. So, I don’t know. It wasn’t so much a shock of it happening. It was just more of the community around me didn’t know what to do with me.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Right. So …

CALLER:
So that was probably the harder part.

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, even though you were hard of hearing, you, your parents ha- you weren’t, you weren’t in a school  or, or, or in, in classes, you know, dealing with that, the- this was something that when it, when it, when it went, when it, when it became a full-fledged thing  it was now you have to kind of get in the deep end on that.

CALLER:
Yeah. Exactly. So, beforehand, I was  just in a public school. And then, when I lost my hearing, I continued in the public school for about two years, and I just know that I couldn’t keep up. Um, and also, I wasn’t fluent in sign at the time, so it wasn’t like even having an interpreter would have made a different. Um, so, I basically had to drop out of school and then they put me into  a deaf program where I started like back to the beginnings and  caught myself back up to what, like, a six-year-old should know at that time. And then, I stayed in a deaf school all the way up. And so, like  in college level.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. And then, when you  when you go to college, because I was totally overwhelmed and scared and depressed by college. And I have all five of my senses. Like it’s just such a radical life change to, to go, to go from  uh  at that point, what  10, 11 years of scho- of schooling that is  you know, designed to, to help with this issue into college. That must be, that must have been the most overwhelming stretch in the world.

CALLER:
Uh, yeah. I mean, I found college overwhelming, but honestly, it wasn’t the deaf part. It was just like social anxiety and, like, being new, like, just being like, I’m, I’m a big dork.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
So, I, I felt like it wasn’t hard to fit in in that way, the deaf part. Uh, if anything, I was like, “Uh, people are always interested to learn sign,” and like  you know, if anything, I used this to my advantage to  with the ladies, to be honest. (laughs) But, no. I, the signing part I wasn’t as scared. I mean, it’s just like being away and being on my own. Um, at that point, I was used to being, like  I mean, yes, I went to that school, but I still had a world of all these hearing people around me that didn’t know sign that I had to deal with all the time. So, it wasn’t like a new situation for me. But I know for some people in the deaf community, that absolutely would be.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Now, I got to, we got to pump the breaks a little bit.

CALLER:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

CHRIS GETHARD:
I got to bring it back to something you said. In what way were you using your deafness as a tool with the ladies? Because that sounds like you really went big on some baller shit.

CALLER:
Uh, all right. I guess I’ll tell you my tools that I use.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
Uh, so, I mean, right away, you could tell I was deaf and everyone gets excited and be like, “Oh, how do you sign this? How do you sign that?” So, I became cool in that matter. Um, I also had, like, party tricks that was huge to, like, break the ice. One of my favorite ones, I would do, (laughs) I call it the party trick, was  I would have a friend or so, or a girl maybe I was interested in to, like, try to make her laugh. I’m always about making them laugh.

I would get her to, like, I’d be like, “Hey, watch this.” And then I would sign a circle of people that I didn’t really know yet that were in conversation and I would just walk up and kind of like nod along, kind of join the conversation, make it seem like I knew what was … And I would  purposely, try not to read their lips in that because I just want them to go on blind. And then, I would just blurt out the most random thing I could think of in that time.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
And just like, (laughs) now, I don’t know what it was, but people found out hilarious, and then I’d walk away. And then, I would go back to them and be like, “How funny was that?”

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow.

CALLER:
For some reason, it works. Now, hearing out loud, I’m like, “Jesus Christ, it’s really not that funny.” But (laughs) …

CHRIS GETHARD:
No. That’s pretty funny. Pretty funny. And, and do, do you get those moments when, like, when you’re like, you know, when it is working, when you’re vibing with a girl, you’re alone, and then she has, does she have to just ask, like, “How do I sign? I’m ready to take this to the next level.” And then, you have to, like, teach her? Do you ever have a moment where you’re, it’s like Ghost with Patrick Swayze and the sculpting, where you’re like, “You’re doing it wrong,” and you stand behind her and take her hands and mold them into the shape of the correct signage?

CALLER:
(laughs) Uh, I mean, yeah. It’s usually no.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
No. No. I should be honest, no. I mean, um  like I said, I’m pretty used to, like, hearing culture, so I read, I read lips pretty well. And  I do use vocal. So  a lot of people would just ask more of curiosity. But  honestly, a lot of people, like, will forget while I’m talking to them, like, look away. And that’s when I have to be, like, “Hey, just, you know, look at me when you talk. That’s all.” And  but, I mean, no. It’s more of like people will just be interested, um  ask questions about, like, what it’s like to be a deaf.

Or  a lot  a question I used to get asked all the time, like, “Do you dream in sign?” And, (laughs) uh, so, I don’t know. Sometimes they were great and funny. Other times, I’m like, “Uh, this is just arrogant and …” I don’t know. I would stand up for myself more compared to back then. I just feel like, “Whatever, it’s a cute girl,” whenever she wants to say it’s time. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. I mean, I know you just brought it up as the example of an ignorant questions, but I’ve never thought about it before. Do you dream in sign? (laughs) I, I apologize to immediately ask, but I’ve never thought about that in my life.

CALLER:
(laughs) Uh, yeah. Obviously, I do. Um, yeah. Whenever I’m dreaming when someone is communicating with me, I would just picture it in sign, because that’s who I communicate. Uh, but again, I’m only talking about me. I can’t talk for any other deaf person in the community about their dreams and what they’re doing. So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Right.

CALLER:
But, yeah, I always say yeah, I basically dream in sign. And then, like, I get asked even if that person doesn’t know sign. And I’m like, “Yeah.” I fill it in for them. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. Now, I’ve, you know, I te- I tend to read a ton because I’m, I’m a nerd that way. And, and there is a  uh, I’m, I’m, I’m pretty certain that there’s a school for the hearing impaired in my neighborhood, because very often on the subways  at certain times of day, there’ll just be a lot of kids  signing to each other. And it’s, it’s clear that there’s a school situation. I’ve read and  uh, again, total ignorance. I’m not asking you to speak for everyone in your community.

I have read that there’s  maybe a trend and, and you might be able to fill me in more that, that sometimes there is almost like a  like a level of anger in the deaf community towards the hearing community that the hear- hearing community doesn’t necessarily realize exists? Is, do you know what I’m referring to?

CALLER:
Yeah. That’s definitely some point be, I mean, it’s, I knew this would go into topics of talking about like deaf culture and deaf community. Um, it’s just hard because I can only talk from my perspective and my personal experiences. But  yeah, absolutely. I feel like it’s just, there’s a lot of time … It’s  I want to say more it’s not so much about not being seeing, but not realizing our needs and just, uh …

I mean, again, I’m looking at this more of, like, adult point of view now, but simple things, like little things I need to get my job done during the day, and  having things written out or interpreters or  just one-on-one time, sometimes, it just gets cut and people, like, will just forget and act like, “Well, you’ll figure it out,” and not realizing when you have that kind of attitude, I missed out what you need me to know. And it just feels bare and vulnerable. And it does kind of feel like you’re not being seen at times.

And back in, yeah, that definitely is rough, especially if you’re like a kid. Um, and I, I totally know what school you’re talking about too. So, yeah, you, you live in New York City, right?

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. I live in Jackson Heights, Queens.

CALLER:
Yeah. Okay. There’s a huge, yeah, there’s a big deaf culture in Queens  I know of in that. And it also depends on what kind of culture you grew up around. Like, sometimes, there’s communities that are like hard core strong deaf where there’s a lot of deaf people in that area and  they all support each other. Like you could go the grocery story or to the doctor or anywhere, and everyone knows sign. Those people kind of live in their own little bubble of a deaf-friendly environment.

And then you have other environments where you can’t even get the help and support to learn sign, but you’re expected to just be oral and to relay it. So, there is such a huge spectrum of what is available or not available in the deaf community. So, there’s definitely people that gets frustrated easily with the lack of, like, resources.

CHRIS GETHARD:
I also have to wonder, too, on a social level, you know  uh, I, I’ve never thought about this before, but I would imagine someone who learns to live their life through visual cues, sign language, but also things like eye contact are important, body language. You must maybe  I would imagine there, is it fair to say, like, there must be some level at which you’re perceiving those things at a, at a  different way. And a lot of people’s instinct when they’re around someone different is to demonstrate discomfort.

Do you see other people’s discomfort in a way? Uh, I wouldn’t, does it, does it, I  I don’t know. I don’t want  it’s a sad question, but like, does it just come through clear and hurt a little bit more or is that just me thinking too hard about this?

CALLER:
It’s, mm-hmm (affirmative), that’s a good one. Uh, (laughs) I want to say it’s hurt. I rather be people curious than ask questions. I think it’s where it’s coming from. If you’re coming from a place of like, “Oh, you’re different than me. Let me get to know that,” I’m more than happy to share  my experience with you.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

CALLER:
If it’s coming from more of this, like the most annoying thing to me is when  I tell someone, “Oh, hey, I’m deaf.” And they say, “I’m sorry.” Why? I’m not sorry. I love who I am. Like, fuck you, I, like this is great. And  yeah, we definitely have a different perspective and I think that’s why deaf community has actually grown in the last couple years with, like, popularity in, like, media and  you know, there’s some like Broadway shoes using sign more.

And  I think, like, there’s TV sho- show more deaf people and stuff. So, I feel like we’re coming more visible and not helping  but I still, I always get that feeling with a certain amount of people that will always feel apologetic. And that’s the thing that feels so weird, as why it’s so apologetic. I also just realized I curse and I tried really hard to tell myself not to, because I am a mama’s boy and I know you said your mom listens to this.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
So, sorry, Sally.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s amazing. That’s amazing you just … So, so, you just used signed language to say the phrase, “Sorry, Sally.” Did you have to spell out the S-A-L-L-Y? That is  but I think my mom will be  very touched by that.

CALLER:

(laughs) Yeah. I did have to spell her name. But  actually, like, real voice that you’re hearing right now, we  connected beforehand and we came up with some  to help with the speed, we came up with some signs. So, you know, we came up with a sign for podcast, for Chris, for Sally, so we can know quicker who we’re referencing.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Right. Right. (laughs)

CALLER:
So, for Sally, we just did a, did a sign for mom, but the letter S. So, she knew I was talking about your mom.

CHRIS GETHARD:
S mom. Sally is the S mom. That’s everybody favorite. (laughs)

CALLER:

S mom. (laughter)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Everybody’s favorite. Now, there is something  since you did, because it is, you know, there  there is this layer of  you know  of some- of someone sort of  translating between two, two mediums for us. It did, it does make me laugh. There is a world in which you know  you, you are, you are  you know  a person who has a, a, a female human speaking on your behalf. You could conceivably make her say anything you want out loud  a, a pretty, a pretty popular podcast. You, you could, she is honor-bound to say anything you sign. So, there is, I don’t know, you do, you kind of are a puppet master right now.

CALLER:
Oh, I, don’t worry, I totally thought of that ahead of time.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
And I wondered like, “What can I make her say right now?” Uh, I’ll, I’ll wait on that. I’m not going to push it too far.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:

CHRIS GETHARD:
Hey, we got, we got 40 minutes left, so, don’t  don’t forget me to lo- don’t forget to tell me to loop back around to that one. I also have to say the nervous, the nervous giggle at the end of that, I  it’s hard for me to discern whether that was you giggling with the anticipation of doing that or your translator giggling as she said out loud the plan you and I are formulating (laughs) to  to, to get, to ab- abuse this level of  of trust and kindness.

CALLER:
Oh, that was all her just speaking there, but …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
Um, but, Leslie, we’re really good friends and I even  but that’s it. When we just, when we decided to do this  something you should know about this girl. She’s very sweet, good girl, good person. And when I decided, maybe I’ll give it a try and called voicemail, I met out with her and she happened to be really drunk. (laughs) And I never seen her ever in that level.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
That’s not her norm. She’s like not a drinker. So, I was like, “Oh my god.” And so, I asked her. I was like, “Hey, let’s call in.” And she was overly confident, like, “Hell, yeah.” (laughs) We called. We left a voicemail and then …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
I think it was a day or two days later, I asked her. It was like, “So, they ever reached out?” And she was like, “Who the hell are you talking about? Who? Who’s who?”

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs) So …

CALLER:
She had no id- she totally forgot, and then when I reminded her, she was so embarrassed. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, there are three people effectively participating in this discourse right now, and one of them was black out drunk when it was all, when it all came to be.

CALLER:
Uh, yeah, basically. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
And now, you also have the ability to force her to tell that story from your perspective. It’s a very, it’s a very fun thing to have it your disposal. I’m glad that you’re involved in this. It’s making me giggle with a lot of glee. I never anticipated this being a part of my, my day today.

CALLER:
(laughs) I’m glad it makes you happy, because  it definitely makes happy over here.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s great.

CALLER:
And it  something I wanted to point out, too. It’s, it’s funny that you brought up the whole  you know, you’re hearing this female voice and I am male. (laughs) And you can probably tell from her, I’m sure, sweet little gentle voice that she is that’s like white girl and I’m also a black Puerto Rican man.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yes.

CALLER:
So, sometimes it’s hilarious. When you get an interpreter, you know there’s no way that can actually sound like who you are.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter) I think that’s as good a point as any. We always have the audio  landscape of each episode. Now we can go build the visuals as everybody go build their visual. And as you’re putting in that brain work, another thing I wanted to seep into your brain is a word from our sponsors. They help make the show happen for free. Thank you to all of them for helping make that happen, and we’ll be back soon with more phone call.

Went on a little vacation February. I don’t go on vacation so often, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I was at a resort. I don’t do the resorts. And  about halfway through the vacation, my lovely wife turns to me. She goes, you know, “I like this, but you know what I miss most of all? Sleeping in my Casper.” She said it to me and she meant it, because the Casper is rad. The Casper is an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. It’s got supported memory foams, an award-winning sleep surface, just the right sink, just the right bounce.

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Thank you to all the advertisers who help make this show happen. Now, it’s one of my favorite phone calls of all time. Let’s get back to it. Yes.

CALLER:
So, sometimes, it’s hilarious. When you get an interpreter, you know there’s no way they can actually sound like who you are.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
Yeah. Uh, this girl is amazing. I’m not trying to talk her down or, (laughter) I knew she do a great job. Oh my god, if you could see how red her face is right now.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
Which is probably the weirdest job she’s ever had to do.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter) So, just because, so, so just because you can’t hear  my laughter, I want to make sure that your translator describes it to you as, how would I describe the laughter I just put out as  an enthusiastic  an enthusiastic borderline scream level laugh that reveled in the social discomfort that the, (chuckles) the young lady who is the middle person of this conversation has been forced to do.

CALLER:
Well, I have to say she’s very professional. So, when you are laughing, she does match the level of laughter you’re creating.

CHRIS GETHARD:

(laughter) Yes.

CALLER:
I had to with, like, expression in that. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
That is great. So …

CALLER:
So, apparently, he just had a pretty big laugh there. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, just, just because we did op- open this door, I do wonder. So, you said you are, you are  part black, pa- part Puerto Rican male. Maybe you can let us know your height, your weight, just so we have a full image of, of who  of who I’m actually (laughs) speaking to as juxtaposed to the very pixie-ish voice of a white girl that I am hearing.

CALLER:
Um, yeah, sure. Okay. Height  I’m about 6-2. Um, I weigh like 180- I’m like long, skinny rail. Uh  I guess some people will say I have  a history look, wear glass. I’m, I’m a big dork. I’m very nerdy. Um, and I think that comes clear easily from just me walking gangly into a room. Uh, (laughs) so, I don’t know. I’m not sure how else to describe myself, but …

CHRIS GETHARD:
No. Sorry to put you on the spot there, but it’s just the, the juxtaposition between  the, the, the voice and the image is, is giving me great to light. So, thank you for that. So, we’re having fun. I want to make sure we have a lot of fun in this conversation, because that’s what I’m down for. You mentioned that you’re into comedy. I want to talk about more  more about that. But before we do, just like informationally and just out of, of fascination and, and hearing a little bit about, you know, your background, some of the awkward ways people then behave, are there, are there simple things …

You know, most people don’t want to put in effort. I know that I can get very lazy. I have a, a two-pronged question, like, average everyday people, are there simple things we can be doing that will just like make it a little easier for you and other deaf people we encounter? Are there like little simple things where I say, “Hey, this takes no effort and just do it.” And then, also for myself as an entertainer, I wonder, are there like simple things I can be do- like, you know, like it’s, you know, sometimes I’ll be doing a show.

It’s, it’s like, it’s, it’s  I don’t, my instinct isn’t book a translator and have them on hand for everything I ever do. Are there s- are there simple effortless things where it’s like, if you guys, if, if you just did this, I can’t tell you how much it would mean to deaf people when you encounter them?

CALLER:
Okay. Um, I think fro- okay, I’m going to start this, entertainment-wise, because I am, I’m a big fan of entertainment. Um, honestly, like, little things more people could do is just add captions to everything. If you have, like, I understand live is different, but if you  if you’re making videos, if you’re like a YouTube star, in that just add captions. In fact, it takes like no time at all. It’s free to do and you’ll just all send- open up the possibility of who will be watching you or connected to, you know.

Um, that’s a big one. I actually try to come see your  Broadway show. I tried to hire someone  that kind of do it, because I never got to see it, but I’m sure it was awesome, even though it was the saddest title I’ve ever seen for a show, but, um …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
And for the average person, I think patience is the main thing. It’s just, you know, I, I mean, I live in a, I live in a city where everything is go, go, go. I live in a big city, so everything is go, go, go. And sometimes, people will get frustrated over, you know … I understand, I’m always adapting myself to work with the hearing world and I’ve accepted that. And that’s fine. I understand the world we live in is hearing. Um, but, like, people will get frustrated at me for needing to take 10 extra seconds to write down my name or write down my order or … And I  to me, I’m like, “Just be patients. It’s fine. A smile.”

Like, sometimes people will get frustrated or something where I’m like, “Why are you frustrated?” Like  and then, makes it uncomfortable for no needed reason, because I’m ha- you know, I’m, I understand I’m not what you were expecting to deal with that day. And if you just smile and try to communicate to me like a human, as in just speak to me, like I have more than the highest respect for you out of just being a human being on this Earth.

Um, but some people will turn it into a big, either an insulting level of patronizing or frustration out of, like, I don’t want to deal with this. I’m not going to give you two seconds of my time. So, I don’t know. Just be patient, people. Everyone has got their shit going on. Sorry, Sally.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah, I, I imagine that would have to be, when people are impatient, there has to be, you know, very warranted moments of anger where you’re like, “Hey, just so you know  this is, uh …” It’s, it’s, believe me, for, for as hard as the- (laughs) for as hard as this simple transaction that’s on you, you’re not the, you’re not the focus. Uh, it’s not about you. That, that have, there have to- there has to be a lot of feelings of that along the way, I would imagine.

CALLER:
Yeah. Exactly. It’s like it’s not about you. And trust me, I have to feel this shit over and over and over again every day, so you can just for one moment realize, “Hey, they’re going to go with different routes than I’m used to,” and just accept it as it is. And you actually might have some fun and learn something out of it, too. So, why get panicky and angry and frustrated? Just because I might write down something for you, hand it to you and give you a thumbs up, versus vocalizing it. I, I will never be able to understand people that gets frustrated on that. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. Yeah. And also, when you just said you wanted to come see my show, that really broke my heart, because  like  uh, ag- again, just, you know, the simple ignorance in getting caught up in my own pace, I did that show, what, all told, 150 times in different iterations, probably 80 or 90 times off Broadway. I’m like I never thought, there is, I never thought once, “Hey …” I bet, I bet, I would  I would bet there are people more thoughtful than I who say, “We’re going to have a number of performances and  along the way we’re going to have a translator at some of them. We’re going to advertise that.”

And I bet that means a lot of pe- to people, and I ju- I just  as you said it, I was like, “Oh, that’s a thing I could have done once that I bet would have meant a lot to some people.” I didn’t even do that once. That sucks.

CALLER:
Uh, well, I mean, there’s a lot who suck in their show. I wouldn’t say you’re the one that sucks, but, uh …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
Um, no. No. We’re, I mean, honestly  entertaining, or entertainment interpreters is like a new world, in general. So, even, there are a lot of interpreters out there that just don’t have the skills to do  entertainment level interpreting. Um, I would say that’s only become a popular request within the last four or five years. So, there’s still like a need for those. Um, and, yeah, no sweat, whatever. I tried, it didn’t work out. I didn’t get my money. Oh, well.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter) You watched it on HBO, though. I’m s- the HBO probably real good with captions, I would imagine. That’s, that’s a  in my experience with them, top shelf organization.

CALLER:
Yeah. HBO is pretty great with  captions. And oh my god, I didn’t even know it’s on there. So, I’ll have to catch up.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah, Career Suicide. Now, you’ll know more about it beyond just the depressing title. You’ll get a full 90 minutes of ultra-depressing content. (laughs)

CALLER:
Right. When I need a good cry, you know, that kind of night where I just go, “You know what? I’m just going to buy some wine, a bottle of fine for myself, sit down on a couch, let Chris depress me.”

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh, that’s my bread and-

CALLER:
Good to know that’s a choice now. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s my bread and butter. That’s been my whole career for about 15 years. It’s depressing people calling it, calling it comedy.

CALLER:
Oh, sure. I know this. I know this.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
I think that’s part of why I, I like your stuff.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Thanks. Now, here’s a thing I’m sensing and I might be, be reading between the lines. Let me know if this is the case. You described yourself as like a big dork a bunch of times and say you gla- you got glasses, you love entertainment, you love comedy. Have you, like, because also just in our interactions through this interpreter, like you’ve made me laugh a whole bunch of times. Like ha- is there, have you thought, I’m just, I don’t know if I’m just reading into it too much. Is there any part of you that’s, like, wanted to entertain or do comedy? I’m just getting that sense that we might, like, demographically, outside of this one major difference, we seem like similar people and I just have a hunch. Am I right or am I wrong?

CALLER:
Um, I mean, I’ve never wanted to be an actor or anything, but what I do, my life is like, I mean, I do ASL performing. So  I mean, yeah, I guess I am. Uh  I’m more like, yeah, I, I  I don’t want to give away too much because there’s a few people I know listening to this will for sure know it’s me. Um, I, I teach sign language and a performing arts way a lot. Like I have, after it, they’re already going to know who I am. I have a, a piece where I perform … No, you know what? No, not going to say it.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
People are going to … No, never mind. But, yeah. Uh, I mean, I, I am in the entertainment world in a, in a little sense, and I’m very popu- popular is not the right word  well-known, I’m well-known in like the deaf community for my work. Um …

CHRIS GETHARD:
I knew it. How did I know it?

CALLER:
So, I’m just going to put that there.

CHRIS GETHARD:
We can just smell our own. I can smell another performer a mile away. I just knew it. That’s cool.

CALLER:
(laughter)

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s cool.

CALLER:
Thanks. Yeah, thanks. It’s  uh, it’s not a world I thought I would get involved in at all. But  my signing style is considered really stylized. (laughs) I don’t, I don’t even know the right words to say for it. But I, I’m the signing style I use is very storytelling  like all times and people have noted. Like I didn’t even notice. People had to tell me. Um, and so, over time, I started to make a career base off of it. And based off that career, actually, I’m my own boss now. Like I have a company where I get to use that all the time and whatever the hell is that I want.

CHRIS GETHARD:
This is my favorite shit. This is my favorite shit I heard in a long time. Sorry, Sally.

CALLER:
(laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
I think that’s so cool. I think that’s so cool. I often think about performing and so much of it is about the ego, right? So much of it is about like scrambling. But then what it’s really about deep down is finding ways to connect with other human beings and not feel so alone, and to hear that, because I would have to imagine that the perf- I would have to imagine that when you’re young and your hearing disappears, the performing arts is one of the avenues that immediately feels cut off and that everybody stops talking about. That, and, and to hear that it does exist and you found your way into it, like, I am so impressed and so excited to hear that. It’s rad.

CALLER:
Yeah. Thanks. That’s  that’s really nice for you to say. Yeah, I, I mean, it’s not like I did theater growing up all my life or anything. When I was younger, I was more  I was more into comic books and, and Star Trek. So  I was more busy in that world, but  as I got older, how I found my way to like socialize and fit in and not, you know, to make friends. And  I, yeah, I kind of just turn into entertainment, I guess. Like it’s just funny because I don’t, like, I, I’m talking to you and I, I see you as like a performer and entertainer, and  and I think of myself and I’m like, “Uh, no. Like I don’t do that.” Uh, I don’t know if that makes sense.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Well, I don’t know if that’s just because of a cultural difference that I can never totally understand or if it’s a self-confidence thing, but I will say I sniffed you out as a fellow performer a mile away. So, if there’s some part of you that’s like I’m bashful about calling myself that, I would say, cut that shit out, because it sounds like you’re bringing it, and I knew it. I won- here’s a thing I wonder. I got a million dollar idea and I think you and I should team up on this one, and probably somebody has already done this. Has there even been a performance, because I would imagine  when you’re performing  in, in this world, is largely performing for deaf audience?

CALLER:
Um, it’s a mix. Uh, yeah. It’s made  a lot of is deaf, a lot of it is  interpreters, CODA. There’s a lot of different people that show interest in this world. Sometimes it’s like students learning sign for the first time. Um, but  all performance, I always  include an interpreter so it’s open through hearing and deaf world. Um …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Ha-

CALLER:
So, it’s always translated.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Have you ever done performance or has anyone ever done performance where it is a, a deaf audience and then one to two  fully hearing people invited to unders- I, I would, I would actually pay a lot of money to attend a performance in sign language for an audience where I was the only person who didn’t know sign language to understand the experience of what I would imagine 90% of your entertainment experiences are. If that hasn’t happened, I want to make that happen with you.

CALLER:
Oh, Chris, done and done. Game is one. I, I’ll make this happen.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Has, has anybody done that before?

CALLER:
Do you want to, like I understood, right, you want to be the only hearing person there and you just want a bunch of deaf people signing around you and you got to figure out what’s going, like a murder mystery style or something, you got to figure out what the fuck happened?

CHRIS GETHARD:
I want there to be a translator just like you have, because I would have to imagine there are probably situations where you go to an environment where you see everyone around you laughing, and you’re just like looking at the translator. And the pacing and the tone is just different and you’ve got to learn to navigate that, that the ente- entertainment experience is just at a different pace. I would love it if there was one interpreter speaking your, your words, translating them from sign.

Everyone else understood sign and was working at the pace that you as a performer set out to accomplish, and I had to scramble to formulate it on my own terms afterwards. Because I want an, I would, I think that that would be a great experience for people to be able to, to understand in some small way, never fully understand, but in some small way.

CALLER:
Huh, all right. Interesting. I mean, if, if you want to take on that challenge, sure. Uh, I’m down.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah.

CALLER:
(laughter)

CHRIS GETHARD:
I also tend to talk shit. I also tend to talk shit like this and then never followed through. But that one would be exciting to me.

CALLER:

That’s okay, as much as I thought was a great idea. It’s like, “I’m not organizing it.” So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
If someone else …

CHRIS GETHARD:
You were …

CALLER:
If someone else out there is listening and wants to deal with setting up between  deaf workers and hearing workers and making this work, go for it and I’ll show up, you know.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s cool. Now, I want to get, I want to get into some just like fun basic questions. I’m sure these are things you’ve heard a million times, but now that we’re comfortable with each other. First thing, have you ever witnessed something via lip reading from like far away or across the room where you’re like, “Oh, I’m the only person aware of this drama unfolding”? Like have you ever seen like people whispering and breaking up in public and you’re like, “Oh, everyone around here is just moving on with their day, and I can tell this is a brutal breakup”? Anything like that that you got to see?

Okay. Let’s go ahead and pause because I’m asking if he ever uses lip reading to spy on people, because I’m embarrassed by that question. What am I, a child? Am I an eight-year-old boy? Everybody’s has probably asked. God, this question, eight million times I’m messing this obvious stuff and go feel bad. And while I’m recovering, you know what I think will help, help me not feel so bad is improving my life via the products and services offered by our fine sponsors. Check them out.

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Let’s go ahead and  hear the answers to all questions both the ignorant one I just asked and many more thoughtful ones along the way. Like have you ever seen like people whispering and breaking up in public, and you’re like, “Oh, everyone around here is just moving on with their day and I could tell this is a brutal breakup”? Anything like that that you get to see?

CALLER:
No. I’m actually a pretty bad lip reader, even though I do use it. That’s something with lip reading, that’s another pet peeve people have, that a lot of people deaf have is like expecting to lip read. I mean we do it out of survival, but I almost look at lip reading the way that you talk about how much you hate math.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
Uh, it’s either you got it or you don’t, and I’m just one of those people so that I don’t actually have it. So, no, I wouldn’t be skilled enough to do that. But to be fair, there has been times I’ve been out with friends and I will notice this situation going on and point it out  because I’ll be able to notice body language of, like, “Oh, shit. Right there. Right there.”

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
Because I read bod- that will be, that’s my world. I read body language [inaudible 00:47:22], like little thing where I’m like, “Uh-oh, it’s going down. I don’t know what it is, but it, it can’t be good.” (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Similarly, because I don’t know if this is just an ignorance that come. Ba- uh, basically, is it, (laughs) before I even ask more questions like this in my excited giddy little shitty tone, sorry, Sally, like  is it, is there often, is one of the major things that ignorant people ask you about basically comparing deaf people to spies in some way who have access to information we don’t? Does that get real old? Because I’m happy to just move on.

CALLER:
I mean, yeah, it happens a lot, like, a lot of people will be like, “What do they say? What do they say?” And the funny thing is, I don’t think, I mean, again, just from my personal experience, but that people don’t eavesdrop. That is such a fucking hearing person thing. And I think it’s weird that you guys eavesdrop on each other all the time.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
And the fact that you guys like hear each other pee and poop is weird too. I think that’s so weird in, like, public bathrooms, people always talk about, “Oh, I couldn’t go, because, you know, someone was in there to hear me.” And I’m like, “People listen in on that. Why? That’s disgusting.”

CHRIS GETHARD:
Well, it’s not like you have a, a choice. But it, eh  I guess that is a nice, I guess, you know, you always look for the silver lining. It’s like you’ve never been in a public restroom and, and had to  deal with someone just having like a horrific diarrhea blow out next to you. You don’t have to hear that. That’s, that’s a nice silver lining.

CALLER:
Yeah, I mean, you’re right. Uh, I guess you don’t have a choice, but yes, that exactly is part of my civil- I have  that’s what you would put under deaf gains or deaf benefits.

CHRIS GETHARD:

(laughs)

CALLER:

That’s definitely a deaf benefit, is you don’t ever have to listen to someone’s body fluids moving through them. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s nice.

CALLER:
(laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
And  have you, have you ever been in a situation where, where shared sign language with people has like, has, has  like, I’m thinking of like specifically, like, have you ever been in a situation that felt dangerous where you’re able to, like, surreptitiously say to another person like, “Hey, we got to get out of here.” This is, something bad is happening, and you  escaped the situation because of a shared sign language that the other person that that maybe so- other people don’t perceive that you’re communicating around them?

CALLER:
I don’t know a dangerous situation. Like I  (laughs) I’m, I’m, I’m pretty dork, like I don’t, I don’t put myself in situations like very dangerous very often, but  I definitely used it to get out of things with someone, absolutely all the time. Uh, and  I mean, from my, again, my experience that  I mean, a lot of deaf people are shit talkers. We’re visual people, so we look around and we see what’s going on. And, yeah, a lot of us will just use sign, you know …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
Like what the hell, what the hell is that over there?

CHRIS GETHARD:
Uh …

CALLER:
Like, so, if you see people signing on, I don’t know, the subway, bus  (laughter) somewhere public, there’s, I would say there’s like an 80% chance you’re talking shit about someone around you.

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, there …

CALLER:

And if you take a, a good look, you probably can figure out what.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
And if not, it’s probably you. Sorry. I’m sorry to say it. Uh, like I said, we’re blunt. We’re blunt off people. I don’t, sorry, Sally, but …

CHRIS GETHARD:
I love that.

CALLER:
Okay.

CHRIS GETHARD:
So, when I’m, like on the times that I’m on the train  which  around the time that this, this deaf school has, has gotten out and there’s, you know, 10, 15 deaf kids on the train car with me, you’re saying there’s high percentage chance they’re looking at me and going like, “That dude’s forehead is comically large.” And they’re just signing that, and I’m sitting in the middle of it and I have no idea.

CALLER:
Yeah, especially if …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
I think that, I think our school is like high schoolers math, they’re mean.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh, yeah.

CALLER:
That, that just scares me. So, if they’re like high school age, probably, yeah, they’re trying to impress each other. So, I, I guess, I, I mean, yeah, maybe you’re an easy target. Sorry.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter) I always have been, always will be. It’s just that I have a thick skin and roll with it. That’s good. Do you  here’s a …

CALLER:
Exactly. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Here’s a  uh, like, here’s just a basic question and, again, you can only speak for yourself. Is it easy, like as far as different kinds of relationships in your life go, is it easier to want to have those relationships with other people who share what you’re, you’re dealing? Like, and I’m thinking of different things, like, romantically, I would imagine like things like a doctor or a dentist. Like, I don’t, like, there’s, there’s got to be both personal and sort of like in the infrastructure in your life, do you, do you tend to seek out other people who, who share your, your experience? Is it easier that way?

CALLER:
Um, yeah, but we’re definitely, I mean, we’re all drawn to people that are similar to us. So, and so we, yes, but I also feel like there’s a lot of deaf cultural things that I don’t connect to. I mean, like, I’m interested in podcasts, like  that’s something I talk about with my hearing friends all the time. They’re the ones that introduced me to what po- podcasts are. And  so, I mean, I actually have … Ugh, I did, I did date a girl for a while who was hearing. She was fluent in sign. And  the main, the first, or main she- there’s a couple of reasons why we broke up.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs)

CALLER:
And one of the first, like, red alarms was, we were out together, and by this point, we’ve been together  let’s say, like, around five months. And we were, you know, we were just in discussion and signing whatever it was we’re, we were talking about. And all of a sudden, she just stopped and got really uncomfortable and I couldn’t tell what’s up. Um, and we were just sitting on a bus together and she was like, “Can we just not? I just don’t want to right now.” So, we just sat in silence the rest of the way to where we’re going. And once we’re all alone, I was like, “Can I talk to you now? Like what’s going on?”

And she admitted to me she’s like embarrassed to sign out in public that she doesn’t like being seen with this, like, disabled guy. And that’s just like, boom, like, really hit me hard of, “Wow, I was like falling for this girl, and that’s how you view me?” Like it’s  I don’t know. So  in a sense, yeah, I go speak to people who are more similar to avoid situations like that. Um, but, I don’t know, I have a mix of people in my life. I mean, a lot of my family is not  no one in my family is deaf except myself and my brother. Everyone else is hearing and they’re not fluent in sign.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Wow. You and your brother. Uh  no one else in your family. Can I ask? Uh  was it, was it a, a genetic condition or a circ- a circumstance growing up for you and your brother?

CALLER:
Yeah. Uh, it’s definitely genes. So, when he was born, he was full hearing, and then he actually lost his hearing, all his hearing when he was 12. He got very sick and his hearing went out. That’s when we found out it’s a gene that we have. Um, I mean, I thought it was easier for me because I already had hearing loss and I lost it even younger. He was like a preteen and lost it.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Ooh.

CALLER:
So, it was a lot rougher for him, for sure.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s brutal.

CALLER:
But, yeah, it’s just a gene that we carry with us. Um, and a lot of people have it  apparently. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. But I was told it’s more common than you realize, but it either will affect you or won’t. Like, so …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. That girl you dated, that really makes my blood boil for a number of reasons. First of all, it’s just mean behavior. Second of all, why would someone put in all the time to learn sign language to a point of fluency only to feel shame about interacting with people who use it. That seems like a  like, that you must have felt tricked almost.

CALLER:

Uh, yeah. That’s a whole story. That girl screwed me up for a long time.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Ugh.

CALLER:
Um, yeah. Uh, I mean she works for the deaf community. That’s why she was fluent. She uses it for a job. And we met at a, a deaf charity  and it was one of those I saw her across the room and it was just like, “Wow, I got to talk to her.” And we hit it off right away  gave her my number. We had a date like a few days later and it was all awesome and great, but there was … I mean, that’s only the tip of the iceberg of, she also, like  brought up that she could never bring me home because I am black and, and she wouldn’t want any of her parents or family to know. So, like, there was a lot of levels of how that girl just really …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh, Jesus. I mean, I’m sure that other people …

CALLER:
She, she streaked out my confidence.

CHRIS GETHARD:
I’m sure other people have in your life (laughs) had said this, but I think you’re better off. I’m sure I’m not the first person to  to know that maybe someone who is  discriminatory towards your, your  hearing ability and also racist, the, those are two big strikes. I don’t know if we want to wait around to see what the third strike even is.

CALLER:
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was one of those stupid, like, when I went back, I’m like  “I don’t know why you put up even with that first moment. I should have just like walked, done.” But I don’t know when you, I fell hard for her. Like, I, I  it wasn’t like great. It’s not like I told her like I love you or something right away, but you know when you’re seeing someone and you just have that gut feel that this is for the long road.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh.

CALLER:
Like I was feeling that for her. And so, it just, it was a big bombshell. But she also, once we were done, it just screwed me up in the sense that I felt like I really never knew how people actually felt about me. I became really self-conscious about how I present myself and how I look. And I noticed that it affects like my deaf identity. Like I used to always be proud and then I started pulling back in this  kind of, I don’t want to use the word shameful, but in this, I just felt uncomfortable just because of all what this one girl did to me.

But  I’m really lucky now. Just so you know, yeah, she’s way out of my life. I’ve grown from that situation and, I mean, I’m now happily with a fiancee and  we’re doing great.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Nice.

CALLER:
And she’s not racist or against deaf people. So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
That’s great.

CALLER:
… stuff up.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Is your fiancee  hearing impaired as well?

CALLER:
Uh, yeah, she’s deaf. Um, by the way, I’m not saying you’re arrogant. I’m just sharing because I like to inform, but saying hearing impaired is actually more insulting because it’s saying there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with saying deaf.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh, wow.

CALLER:
That’s like we would rather that.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs) I, I’ll, I’ll tell you. I was sitting here patting myself on the back the whole time feeling like I was being very sensitive. And here I am, putting my foot in my foot yet again with this goddamn podcast. (laughs) God, all right, I’m, okay. And I’ve said it about 85 times and you’ve just sucked it up each time. And then, with seven and a half minutes left, you’re like, “Yo, fuck off on that.” (laughter)

CALLER:
No, I took debating and I, that’s the thing. I didn’t want to say anything at first because I was like, “Nah, he’s a good guy, like he’s not saying it.” And I, but, like, and I also was like, “That’s not what’s focused right now. We want to talk about something else.” But then I was like, “This isn’t good. I’ll just put it out there.” So, just to the world, say, say deaf, say hard of hearing. Those aren’t offensive. The, the people that are that know. Um, but when you say hearing impaired, you make it sound like there’s something wrong with them. And there’s nothing wrong with being deaf or hard of hearing. So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. Well, I’m sorry about that. I had no intention of offending. I’m glad I know now that I  I, I put that phrase in the, put that phrase in the trash pile. Uh …

CALLER:
Yeah. No, no. No need to apologize. I’m just like yourself, I’m just informing.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Of course there is.

CALLER:
No. Like trust me, you, like, I mean, it’s still used in, like, government forms and shit, like it’s not really you. It’s society, again, I guess this goes with, like, ignoring the deaf needs in the sense that society still has that in, in, in text  like textbooks, in research, in  there’s lots of government form in the DAV, like the Disabilities Act. Like they still use hearing impaired, even though the deaf community has been very loud saying, “Don’t do that.”

CHRIS GETHARD:
All right. Well, consider it done on my end. And I bet a lot of other listeners that there’s a lot of, there are part of, a lot of people listening to this right now who I think are probably  because again I would think that the large majority of  people consuming this podcast are, are, are listeners, are, are people hearing it. I bet there a lot of people who just started giggling, going on like, “Oh, Gethard, you just let, you just put your foot in a pile of shit.” I bet there’s a bunch of that right now, a lot of people going, “I’m glad I’m not that guy.”

So, that’s it, deaf, hearing impaired, done. Out of there. Hey, I have a question. You, so  so, I know  there, one of the things that I love about podcast is there, I think there’s a lot of podcasts focused on different communities. You know, you can find stuff there. Are  are there any, are there any equivalent, like are there podcast for the deaf community? Are there, are there audio podcast, video podcast? Is there, is there like an equivalent medium?

CALLER:
Uh, I would say the equivalent is there’s a lot of like YouTubers  and there’s different styles. There’s like  comedians. There’s  informative types in that. So, yeah. I feel like most of my podcast  is more watching. I watch a lot of videos in sign. Like I mean, there’s like news in sign and stuff. So  but I  I mean, I can’t say 100% sure, but I’m like 99.9% sure I’m probably you’re only deaf listener on your podcast.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
So, I’m sure you have other deaf fans, like I remember watching your show and stuff and that, that was awesome. That was great visual. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. I mean, if there’s one thing about the CHRIS GETHARD show, it’s not always the smartest show. It doesn’t always make the most sense, visually. It’s always pretty impressive, I’d like to think.

CALLER:
I agree with that. Yeah, definitely.

CHRIS GETHARD:
A lot of that is because when we’re in public access to show us  so bad and nobody really watches public access anymore. So, my director was like, “We need to make this thing look as insane as possible so people might actually stop and wonder what’s going on here.”

CALLER:
Oh, I can see that. Hey, I mean, at least, you made it that far.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah.

CALLER:
That’s still impressive.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah.

CALLER:
Even if it’s, you know, the shit show going on. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah. Oh, total shit show most of the time.

CALLER:
On the podcast, like, it’s something. I don’t know. I liked it. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Hey, I have a question. You mentioned that you, you have the episodes of this transcribed, and then you, you read them back. Is that, is that a service you’re paying for?

CALLER:
Uh, no. No. I  I got access on that. (laughs) I  luckily know when around me at work is  knows sign at this level, so I can say I actually use my work all the time to get them done …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
… um, (laughs) for me. Um  and ho- honestly, the cool  just so you know, there’s a lot of people  that work as, like, translator to ask me to send them their next assignment, because they want to do it, because I send them a lot of like pod … Like I do a lot of podcast like including this one. I’ll also send in like This American Life [inaudible 01:03:42]  Missing and Murdered, which I know is making me sound like a psycho, but I just find that stuff fascinating.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughs) Same here.

CALLER:
But  yeah. And I use a handful of people who I rotate through them  because they say they, I mean, when you think about it, I guess to sit and listen to these podcasts and just type them out, and what a fun way, because actually what they’re typing out is more like  college level like lectures, or like a work meeting being written out for some of the stuff or not. So, it’s in a way more fun material to work with. So, yey. (laughs)

CHRIS GETHARD:
I would have to imagine, is there, is there, I want, I want to look into it. I would have to imagine that there’s probably, I could probably step up and do that. I could probably be paying a transcription service on my end to, to get these episodes out there. I, I would like to do that. That seems like enough, right?

CALLER:
I mean, if, if you’re interested in doing it, sure, yeah. That would be awesome. I mean, it would just take away a chore, right, every once a week. So …

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
Yeah.

CHRIS GETHARD:
But I think my point would be that maybe then it could be something that extends beyond just you a dedicated podcast, um  a consumer, listener, I’ll say listener regardless of the fact that you’re reading it. I think that that’s fair. I would like to think that maybe it can go beyond just a personal favorite to you, and maybe that other people in a community that doesn’t have access to this might now have access to it, and, and feel included.

CALLER:
Uh, yeah. I absolutely agree with that. So, go for it. And if you are able to get it in a written form, I promise you, I will spread the word to the community for you.

CHRIS GETHARD:
That would be a very CHRIS GETHARD moment, wouldn’t it? If it was like, who, who’s the biggest demographic that likes your podcast? “Oh, actually, my podcast is huge in the deaf community.” That’s like  that’s a very Gethard thing to be able to say. I would love that. I would love to become the number one podcast in the deaf community. (laughs) That, I feel like that really fits in with my overall  body of work.

CALLER:
Hell, yeah. That’d be awesome. I mean, we’re  it’s a larger population than you probably realized. And why not? Screw it. It pays the bills and you got fans, and that’d be awesome.

CHRIS GETHARD:
I am into it. This is, we have, we have about a minute left, I think, if we  I want to thank you. It’s, it’s been so far … And you know what? My favorite thing about this podcast is I have talked to so many people from so many walks of life and it alwa- I know I quote more and see too much on this podcast. He has this quote I love, which is, “There is no such thing as normal.” And that’s like been the most eye opening thing about me doing this podcast. Every single  per- person I talk to, totally different corners of the world, different life experiences. Everybody is just like trying to get through the day, trying to get over the heartbreaks, trying to throw down, do their thing. It’s really …

CALLER:
Yes, I mean, basically, we’re all the same, really.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Yeah.

CALLER:
At the end of the day, we want basically the same thing. We just go different ways getting there. By the way, is there anything you want my interpreter to say from [crosstalk 01:06:49] … (laughter)

CHRIS GETHARD:
Oh, yeah. No, that’s on you. (laughs) That, that’s, that’s been the last 30 seconds knowing, it was so nice talking to you. Thank you for filling me in. Thank you for correcting my ignorant language. Thank you for telling me what your life is like. Really, a beautiful conversation. Now, for the last 30 seconds, let everything listening understand you are no longer speaking for yourself, (laughter) but in fact forcing a translator to say whatever pops into your head as punishment for being black out drunk when agreeing to do this.

CALLER:
Okay. Oh, man, now I don’t even know what to make or say.

CHRIS GETHARD:
(laughter)

CALLER:
I’m frustrated. Uh, fart, bananas, potatoes, losing control. Shit, shit, diarrhea. Uh …

CHRIS GETHARD:
Fart, bananas, potatoes, shit, shit, diarrhea. Harry, write it down. We got to make a T-shirt.

CALLER:
Shit, potatoes.

CHRIS GETHARD:
Fart, bananas, potatoes needs to be a T-shirt. (laughter) Fart, bananas, potatoes. (laughs) Ugh. (music)

CHRIS GETHARD:

Caller, thank you so much. So much. That was a conversation that since the second I had it, it really rocked me. I kinda never stopped thinking about it, I feel so lucky and I recoding this outro weeks after the fact and I’m still reeling from it. Caller, I think so many people — there is a chance — who knows, I don’t wanna make any assumptions. You could be the only deaf consumer of this show and that means that tens of thousands of the rest of us just got to hear your perspective and I feel blessed. I feel lucky. Thank you. Thank you for sharing, and for everyone who listens… Man, I think the main thing people keep telling me about this show is that they get to empathize with other human beings who live different lives from them and we just got that chance in such a huge beautiful way. Thank you, caller. And thank you translator! For rolling with the punches, having so much fun with with. What a beautiful thing you do to help others.

Now, very important thing. This outros gonna be a little longer: Look, you guys all heard, I’m laughing really hard that caller made that interpreter say the words, “fart banana potato” and I don’t think he could have nailed it more. I think those are the three words that needed to be said. And I was laughing about it for days, and I started thinking, man, let’s immortalize this. Fart, banana, potato. So Earwolf — there’s a super talented artist on the team, Aaron Nester designed a beautiful poster. And it features those three could-be-famous words, “fart banana, potato” in sign language form. It shows how to say the words, fart, banana, and potato in sign language.  Poster now exists. You can get it at Podswag.com/beautiful.

Here’s the important thing though: I’m not making any money off of this thing, okay? That was a fun conversation, it was cool, it was heartwarming to know that this guy was getting episodes transcribed. He doesn’t need to be paying for that or getting anybody else — here’s what we’re gonna do: I’m taking all the proceeds I would normally get from merchandise, all the money that I would make from this poster. Use that money, gonna get more episodes from our back catalogue transcribed. We’re gonna go for it, we’re gonna go back.

In fact, we’ve already got three of them that you can download in text format. Episode 1: Ron Paul’s Baby, that’s a big one a lot of people got started on that one, feels like that’s the first one to put out there. Episode 51, Made Out With My Teacher, that got tons of people talking. Uh, I felt like that was an episode that a whole community really rallied around and said, like, “wow this is a slice of life we never got to hear before.” Those are already transcribed. The third episode you can get is the one you’re listening to — or perhaps reading — right now. All of those transcripts are available on the show page for each episode.

So you can download these transcripts and, look, these posters, we’re gonna sell em and the more money we bring in from them — I’m not making any profit. The more money that comes in, the more we’re just gonna get transcribed. Hopefully we can go get all of our back catalogue transcribed and maybe we’ll have money left over to keep going and transcribe more in the future. I feel like, it’s just a cool way for the community to be able to support this episode, support this idea, and walk around with a pretty specific, cool piece of merch. And I’m tellin ya, I’m looking at a copy of the poster right now. It’s big, it’s cool, the colors are great. Aaron Nester nailed it with the art. You can frame this thing, a great conversation piece in your, uh, man cave, or maybe over your dining room table if you come from a cool family. Who knows!

Check this thing out, I’m not making any money on it. All the money goes towards transcribing our episodes so that any other deaf listeners can consume them at will and not have to jump through hoops to do so.  It was eye-opening to hear from our listener, thank you for putting that idea on the table and giving me the opportunity to try and step up. So check it out. Podswag.com/beautiful. You get your official Fart Banana Potato poster. I do just like saying it —  get your official Fart Banana Potato poster at Podswag,com/beautiful! Limited run. Get online, get one now. You’re helping a good cause, you’re getting a cool thing. So for that.

In the meantime, I’d like to thank many people. Jared O’Connell and Harry Nelson – always in the booth killing it. And this week in particular I think really did such a great job. I’d like to think the Reverend John DeLore and Gretta Cohn that helped build this show from the ground up. Shellshag, gives us all our music. Shellshag are beautiful people, beautiful artists, do support all the stuff they do if they ever come to your town you see em live, one of the best live shows in punk rock. Everybody, you like this show you rate, review, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher. Whatever! Whatever you do, do it, get it out there. Spread word. I’m lucky I get to do this, thank you for letting me. Thank you, I’ll see you next time.

Detour is an app all about not looking at your phone and instead looking at the world. They got 150 immersive audio walks from Radio Lab, Ken Burns and more. It’s like a great podcast, but it also guides you through the real world so you can check out some fascinating places. I think this is such a cool thing. Go to Detour.com/beautiful. Take one for free. (music)

Earwolf Man:
This has been an Earwolf production, executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Chris Bannon, and Colin Anderson. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com.