EP. 167 — Go With The Flow

[00:00:00] [AD BREAK]

[00:01:24] CHRIS: Hello to everybody who likes making a nice pizza during a quiet day at home. It’s Beautiful Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred.

[00:01:36] THEME MUSIC: I’d rather go one-one-one. I think it’ll be more fun and I’ll get to know you and you’ll get to know me. 

[00:01:48] CHRIS: Hi everybody, Chris Gethard here, welcome to another episode of Beautiful Anonymous. We’re excited to talk to you as always, and genuinely so happy to be in the studio. Very special, sacred place to me. And I appreciate everybody who listens to the show and allows me to hang out in this studio. I want to thank everybody who has shown enthusiasm. I announced that I’m doing a new public access TV project called Chris Gethard PRESENTS and so many of you guys sent messages online with a lot of support and love and it means the world. Speaking of online feedback, last week’s episode. Fascinating, fascinating feedback that I want to say I appreciate so much. There were a number of people in the Facebook group who reacted to our episode, which, you know, dealt heavily with a caller, talking about her experience living with someone with borderline personality disorder. And there were social workers. There was someone training in psychology who said, you know, this was one example, there are other people who don’t display BPD in this way, don’t live at this extreme. There are also a number of people who said, I have borderline personality disorder and some people very fairly saying, I’m very worried that that this podcast will spread some of the stereotypes of this this condition. That is is still sort of like maybe one of the most demonized aspects of of mental health. One of the most stigmatizing. Some people said, you know, I want to say that I am someone who has this and I am in treatment and I’m on top of it. And it’s it’s not everybody’s experience to go this extreme or where when you do, you’re able to recover. And I would just want to thank everybody, it was a layered discussion. And it was it was most importantly, civil and productive. It’s such a cool companion to the episode. Thanks so much for it. This week’s episode, I feel lucky that I got to have this this conversation. This is a Dad. And I think we’d all agree on any given day, this guy’s life has some chaos in it. He’s got multiple kids already. He’s got another one on the way. His oldest is sick in the hospital and it’s a little heartbreaking to hear about. I was pretty happy to feel like maybe he got to blow off some steam by being on the show. Maybe he got to forget about the stress for a while, even though he was explaining it. And yeah, it’s pretty inspiring. It’s pretty inspiring. One of the things that you hear over and over again is his wife supports him. He supports his wife. And they get through the hard times together. And I think any of us would feel lucky to have that foundation he has. In spite of the many hard parts that he describes. Also, we had a Facebook message from the caller since we recorded the call with an update on how things are going. So stay tuned at the end for that. Some we’re going to hear that there’s a number of kids making noise throughout this episode. I’m sure some people will not like that. I would say to them, lighten up. Enjoy the call.

[00:04:46] PHONE ROBOT: Thank you for calling Beautiful Anonymous a beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.

[00:04:54] CHRIS: Hello. 

[00:04:55] CALLER: Hello. 

[00:04:57] CHRIS: Hi. 

[00:05:00] CALLER: Hi, Chris. Holy crap. Oh, this is funny. 

[00:05:05] CHRIS: Oh nice. 

[00:05:07] CALLER: So I called. I called a few weeks back and I got through and I was like on the phone waiting for like an hour. And I listened to the tape thing through like twice.

[00:05.16] CHRIS: Oh, yeah. We should update that music. I think there’s probably a lot of people trying to call are real tired of those songs.

[00:05:25] CALLER: It’s all right. I enjoyed it.

[00:05:28] CHRIS: That’s good. I’m glad. I’m glad there’s some good tunes on there. Beautiful Anonymous hold music. 

[00:05:32] CALLER: Yeah there are. 

[00:05:34] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah. I’m going to update it though. I’ve got some new, I’ve got some new jams I’ve been liking. So we’ll get some new jams out there. I’m glad you called again. And I always tell people and anytime I meet someone who’s like I’ve tried to call before, I’m like, keep trying cause I want, I want to keep this thing going until every single person who wants to talk. I want to talk to everybody. Let’s do it.

[00:05:57] CALLER: Yeah, I’m all for it. I love the show. I’ve been listening, it’s the only podcast that I’ve actually listened to every episode.

[00:06:03] CHRIS: Thank you. That’s super nice.

[00:06:05] CALLER: Yea it’s great. I love it. I love the whole the whole concept. All of it, I think it’s great. Really enjoyed it.

[00:06:12] CHRIS: Thanks. Thanks. Sounds like you got a little one in the background there.

[00:06:17] CALLER: I’ve got a few. I’ve got a few. I’ve got two of them with me right now. 

[00:06:21] CHRIS: Oh, nice. 

[00:06:24] CALLER: And their two and about to be four

[00:06:26] CHRIS: Two and four.

[00:06:27] CALLER: And then, yeah, they’re close together. They are the Irish twins.

[00:06:35] CHRIS: That’s always nice. That’s me and my brother were the Irish twins as well.

[00:06:39] CALLER: Yeah.

[00:06:40] CHRIS: For anybody not familiar, that is a term that means that Irish Catholics have too many kids close together. Irish twins.

[00:06:50] CALLER: [LAUGHS] Yeah. I’m not Catholic, but I think I have a little Irish there. But yeah, I just call them that. 

[00:06:56] CHRIS: Hey man I just had my first kid. Does this get easier? Does this get easier? I need to know. I’m nine days in, nine days. As we talk, my kid is 9 days old.

[00:07:05] CALLER: It doesn’t get easier, but you adapt. 

[00:07:09] CHRIS: Okay. 

[00:07:11] CALLER: And then you get thrown new challenges and it can be frustrating and awesome at the same time, like you can be laughing and angry at the same time sometimes. It’s just like they’re so smart. I can’t believe how smart and amazing they are. But you need to slow down.

[00:07:32] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:33] CALLER: Kids can drive me crazy. 

[00:07:37] CHRIS: Yeah. I already feel like I’ve already had times where I’m just holding my son and the kids eight days old. And I will just look at him and just start just laughing. And then other times where I’m like, oh my God, stop, stop. Sleep. And also, I’m also like sitting there where I’m like please just if you want to eat, why are you telling us you want to eat? You’re putting your fist in your mouth. When you won’t eat. Now, my wife is sitting here, she’s getting all worked up because, you won’t eat. And I’m all stressed out. Because my wife is all stressed out. Eat. You said you wanted to eat. All you did, it’s all you know how to do, so do it man. But then I also look at him like,

[00:08:17] CALLER: You only have one job. 

[00:08:18] CHRIS: Yes, and I also look at him and I’m like, I love you in a way I’ve never known before. So that’s cool to.

[00:08:24] CALLER: Right. Yeah. It’s, it’s quite something. Were you in the room for the birth?

[00:08:28] CHRIS: I was. I was cradling my wife’s head. And she did awesome! My wife is the most bad ass person. So when we got to the pushing phase, it was like 35 minutes, first kid. They said, that doesn’t really happen man. She’s bad ass. 

[00:08:42] CALLER: That’s quick yeah.

[00:08:44] CHRIS: Kid pops out dude. She pushes. He pops out. He was so close, I saw his head come out partially. I was telling Hallie, I’m like, he’s, you get to meet him, any minute now. If you push hard enough, you finally get to meet him. And she was like, it’s go, you know, like she was clearly like in the zone. Kid pops out. First thing he does, is kick the doctor in the face and then pee everywhere. I’ve never been more proud, that was a proud father me. I’m like, this kid doesn’t, he’s anti authority. He is a unique individual. He’s an iconoclast. I love this kid, instantly.

[00:09:16] CALLER: Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah, it’s, it’s something else. Being in the room like I like there’s there’s nothing quite like it. And I don’t. Every birth was the same I guess is just that it’s euphoric and terrifying and beautiful. Amazing. Like it’s just really. Yes. It’s a very unique experience 

[00:09:37] CHRIS: That’s 

[00:09:38] CALLER: We’re about to have our, where about to have our fourth.

[00:09:40] CHRIS: What are you doing. Fourth. No congratulations. 

[00:09:44] CALLER: I have no idea.

[00:09:45] CHRIS: Congratulations. That’s amazing. That’s amazing. 

[00:09:48] CALLER: Thank you. Thank you. 

[00:09:50] CHRIS: I got, I can’t imagine having two. I can’t imagine. How do you balance, how do you balance a four year old’s needs and a two year old’s needs and a newborn’s needs.Those are, it’s, exhausting.

[00:10:02] CALLER: Like I said, you just adapt. 

[00:10:04] CHRIS: Damn.

[00:10:07] CALLER: Like, it’s all you can do. 

[00:10:09] CHRIS: Kudo’s to you dude.

[00:10:12] CALLER: Sorry. They might be talking throughout. I don’t know. Hopefully it’s not too distracting.  

[00:10:14] CHRIS: I love it. If you want to stick one of them on the phone, they’d be the youngest caller in the history of this show. 

[00:10:18] CALLER: We can, we can probably make that happen. They probably won’t say much. 

[00:10:23] CHRIS: No.

[00:10:24] CALLER: I told them I was going to be on a phone call and so they had to try and be a little bit quiet. So their doing pretty good. They’re playing with all the stuff they’re not supposed to. But that’s, alright. 

[00:10:31] CHRIS: That’s cool. That’s cool. Four. Four kids. 

[00:10:36] CALLER: Right now, I’ve only got two of them. One of them is actually in the hospital. 

[00:10:41] CHRIS: Oh, no. 

[00:10:43] CALLER: And my wife. My wife is up with her right now.

[00:10:45] CHRIS: Oh, no. Is everything okay? 

[00:10:47] CALLER: Yeah, everything’s OK. I mean, ish. It’s it’s been a crazy, crazy year like since September. We took a vacation last September. And during the vacation, my oldest daughter got pneumonia. She has, she has, she has disabilities and, and, yeah, just all kind of like it kind of got crazy. She was in the hospital for two weeks in another state. I had to take the other two home and my wife stayed with her in another state. It was it was crazy. And then they got back home. She healed up and then she got sick again. And then she just got sick like two or three times more over the winter. And she was in and out of the hospital. This is her ninth time in the hospital in September.

[00:11:37] CHRIS: Groans. 

[00:11:39] CALLER: And she just because she keeps getting sick, she keeps her lungs just getting damaged and so she can’t fight it off. But now they, she got better. Once she got better. They did a surgery. She’s actually getting a a trach put in. She had a tracheotomy. And the doctors assured us that it’s supposed to help her lungs feel faster. And, you know, once she’s healed up, they can take it out. But they said that like every parent that they’ve talked to about getting a trachea, they’re terrified at first. But supposedly it’s like a lifesaver, like for kids with chronic lung issues. So we’re hoping that, you know, they they said that as she grows and as she heals, like her lungs will grow new tissue and and she should be fine. You know, I’m they can they can heal up. But right now she’s recovering from the surgery. And once she’s up, she should be fine. She’s really ought to be asleep. They have her on sedatives and she’s still moving and they need her to sit still. But she’s a fighter. She’s like, she’s killing it. She’s, she’s fighting. And she’s she’s an awesome kid.

[00:12:47] CHRIS: That’s, that’s nice. And how. How old is your oldest?

[00:12:52] CALLER: She is five. Going to be six next month. I’ve got one turning four next month. Another the oldest is turning six. And then we’re having our third next month.

[00:13:02] CHRIS: So your going with six, four, two and a new one.

[00:13:06] CALLER: Yeah. We actually found out we were pregnant when, when our oldest was in the hospital last September. The first time. So it was like such a weird feeling. You know, you’re like distraught that your one kid is sick. And then. Oh, there’s another one.

[00:13:25] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:28] CALLER: It’s pretty it’s pretty wild time. It’s been a, its been a roller coaster of emotions these past six, seven, eight months.

[00:13:38] CHRIS: Yeah. I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s so. I’m just glad to hear that, it sounds like there’s an end in sight.

[00:13:45] CALLER: Yes. We’re looking at getting her getting her home next week. We got to do. We’ve got to stay overnight with her at the hospital to learn all the care that we give to her. But we’ve we’ve already you know, we’ve got a lot. She’s she’s actually had disabilities, you know, for for a while that she had a lot of health problems aside from the pneumonia, she, well she was born with Down syndrome. But that was not really a big concern for us. My wife works with people with disabilities and she has for like 15 years. So we kind of knew what to expect. And we’re like that wasn’t really for a lot of health problems with that. But then at four months, she was diagnosed with infantile spasms, which is like a seizure disorder in infants, which turned into another seizure disorder. And it’s just been really hard to control it and it has caused a lot of health problems for her. So.

[00:14:37] CHRIS: I’m sorry.

[00:14:39] CALLER: So kind of what led to what we’re dealing with now, but we’re working on it.

[00:14:44] CHRIS: Right. Right.

[00:14:47] CALLER: It’s not easy, but it’s one of those things where we’re always learning and and and fighting with her. And she’s a fighter man, she’s a feisty little kid.

[00:15:01] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah, that’s pretty. It’s a really interesting twist of fate. The last call  that I recorded, it hasn’t been released yet, but it was also a parent raising a child with Down syndrome.

[00:15:16] CALLER: Oh, really? 

[00:15:17] CHRIS: Yeah. It’s not out in the world yet, but it was so eye opening just to hear. So much about, about, you know, navigating the world and teach your child to navigate. It’s a, it’s a, what a, what a weird, what a weird coincidence. Weird coincidence.

[00:15:43] CALLER: For sure. 

[00:15:44] CHRIS: Yeah. 

[00:15:45] CALLER: Especially so close, so close to each other. That’s funny. 

[00:15:50] CHRIS: Well, we’ll space them out. We’ll space them out when we release them. Jared has a whole spreadsheet. Jared has all spreadsheet.

[00:16:00] CALLER: Oh yeah. 

[00:16:00] CHRIS: Yeah. 

[00:16:01]: CALLER: I always wonder how that works. Like, cause you, I like I’ve heard some that might come out like the week after. And then the you’ll say sometimes that they were out like a year ago. Maybe if you had the conversation a year or something like that. Interesting.

[00:16:14] CHRIS: The truth of the matter is that Jared dictates the release schedule with what can only be described as an iron fist. I used the word dictate on purpose. Dictatorial would describe his behavior towards this, ice cold and emotionless. I personally am too scared to ask questions of Jared O’connell, in this particular topic. 

[00:16:38] CALLER: It’s funny. 

[00:16:39] CHRIS: Yeah. I don’t know. So what do you. Can I. Can I ask? [CHILD CRYING] That’s awesome. I love that we have kids in the background. I love it. It’s good. Slice of life, audio right there.

[00:16:52] CALLER: There fighting a little bit right now. 

[00:16:54] CHRIS: Well, if you ever need to go, if you ever need to go step in, please don’t let this phone call be the thing that allows your children to just brawl unimpeded.

[00:17:02] CALLER: Oh no. Hey, be nice to your brother. Yeah, he’s going to be the only boy. He’s two and they fight like crazy, him and my 4 year old. The’re play fighting right now. So I think they’ll be all right.

[00:17:20] CHRIS: Is it do you. 

[00:17:23] CALLER: Yeah. 

[00:17:24] CHRIS: When you have multiple kids, do you just immediately start to get a sense of their personalities based on how they bounce off each other?

[00:17:35] CALLER: Little bit, yeah, and they definitely do have different personalities. My boy, he’s, hes an emotional one. He’s like me? 

[00:17:43] CHRIS: Yeah. And me. 

[00:17:44] CALLER: He’s got all the emotions. He’s, he’s a crier. He feels deeply.

[00:17:52] CHRIS: Aha. Aha.

[00:17:53] CALLER: The girl, she is a take charge one. She’s like, man, she is just a ball of energy. Now that it’s summer, it’s crazy. She wants to go outside all the time. And we met our neighbors as we just moved into this place during the winter. So like every day she’s like friends. I want to go see friends. We gotta go play with her friends and she’ll stand up by their house. Creepily, just like looking at their door.

[00:18:17] CHRIS: So she’s stalking your new neighbours, your four year old child is stalking your neighbours.

[00:18:23] CALLER: It’s true. Yeah. It could be problematic. But so far, the neighbors don’t seem to be too too creeped out. They let their kids come over and play and stuff.

[00:18:34] CHRIS: So, you’ve got.

[00:18:35] CALLER: Seems like it’s all right for now. 

[00:18:36] CHRIS: Dude, I don’t know how you’re doing it. So you, you’ve got three kids, another on the way. 

[00:18:45] CALLER: Three kids. Yip. 

[00:18:48] CHRIS: One who, one who is in the hospital and has special needs. And you moved, all within the window where the hospital visits are happening.

[00:18:57] CALLER: Did that happen? Yeah.

[00:18:59] CHRIS: How are you talking to me, with any sense of energy in your voice right now or cheerfulness in your voice right now? How are you doing this?

[00:19:06] CALLER: I, I, I think I mostly just like, you know, got some adrenaline because I got through, I’m on the phone. 

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER] Fair.

[00:19:15] CALLER: But it’s, it’s my anniversary coming up this weekend. And my wife and I are celebrating tonight, too. So we. You know, we got to make time for selfcare even through the hard stuff. Trust me, there’s been plenty of days of tears and frustration and I’m just, you know, losing it. But. 

[00:19:35] CHRIS: I bet.

[00:19:36] CALLER: But we we we gotta you know, my my mom lives nearby and she watches the kids for us. And she’s, they’re gonna have a sleepover tonight. So we’re going to go out. We’re going to see End Game.

[00:19:47] CHRIS: I was going to ask. That was gonna be one of my parents, because I might. There might be a running trend of me asking you for parenting advice cause I am in over my head. Do you ever get to see, you do get to see a movie occasionally huh. Cause my kid, I tell you what. 

[00:20:03] CALLER: We do yeah. 

[00:20:04] CHRIS: That’s good, cause I don’t think I’m going to get to see End Game anytime soon. It’s gonna get spoiled. 

[00:20:09] CALLER: Oh no. 

[00:20:010] CHRIS: So sad.

[00:20:11] CALLER: Yeah thats, I’ve been. I took a peek on Facebook today and I’m like, no!

[00:20:15] CHRIS: Yeah, can’t do it. 

[00:20:17] CALLER: I can’t do that.

[00:20:18] CHRIS: Caleb’s due date was actually yesterday, but he showed up early. And I tell you. 

[00:20:23] CALLER: Oh, yeah. 

[00:20:24] CHRIS: Yeah. My buddy Patrick Cotner, he works at Marvel and I was gonna be his plus one to the friends and family screening on Wednesday. And when Cal showed up, I was like, so thrilled, so thrilled. But I did pretty quickly, I will admit, quicker, quick enough that I can recognize how shitty it was that I was like, argh OK, I don’t get to go to Avengers. OK.

[00:20:50] CALLER: That’s funny. No, I totally get it. Well, there there will be Disney plus coming out. So I guess it will probably have like all those. Right.

[00:20:58] CHRIS: I read about that. I read about that. I was like, oh, you pretty much have to have this if you’re a parent. Twenty nineteen. Huh.

[00:21:06] CALLER: Pretty much. Yeah. My kids keep seeing like commercials for movies that we don’t have. Like these are like twenty dollars a pop. We can’t get that. [Laughter]

[00:21:15] CHRIS: Disney Plus,

[00:21:16] CALLER: We bought the Spider-Man one for them and they love it, which was exciting for me, I was like Spider-Man was always my favorite.

[00:21:21] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:21:22] CALLER: I get to watch Spider-Man with them like every day now.

[00:21:24] CHRIS: Is it, wait the animated one Spider-Verse.

[00:21:28] CALLER: Yeah. The Spider-Verse.

[00:21:30] CHRIS: So good. If you are out there listening and you haven’t watched verse, it’s a legit, well written funny smart move.

[00:21:39] CALLER: It’s amazing. Yeah.

[00:21:40] CHRIS: So good.

[00:21:44] CHRIS: Let’s go ahead and pause here, because I want to point out the ridiculousness of a caller who has so much to say, and I still find a way to just burn valuable show time ranting about Marvel Comics. Some people, I’m sure, will say that that says about me that I’m a jerk. Some people might find it a real slice of life. Who knows? But what I do know is we have ads. Check those out. Now you got the promo codes.

[00:22:21] [AD BREAK]

[00:23:37] CHRIS: Now let’s get back as phone call. If you are out there listening and you haven’t watched Spider-Verse. It’s a legit, well written, funny, smart movie. It’s amazing. Yeah. So good.

[00:23:50] CALLER: It’s really great. The animation is incredible. Like they mix all these different kinds of animation. Like I, we’ve watched it like every day since we bought it.

[LAUGHTER]

[00:24:01] CALLER: And I feel like I still get drawn into it. I guess I’ll get it as well. It’s such a good one.

[00:24:06] CHRIS: Yeah. Wow. Wow. What do you?

[00:24:11] CALLER: But, yeah.

[00:24:13] CHRIS: Where were you going to say.

[00:24:15] CALLER: What’s that? Oh, I had I was just.

[00:24:17] CHRIS: I was going to ask what you do. I was going to ask what your line of work is.

[00:24:22] CALLER: I’m actually a stay at home Dad. I play music as well. What’s up, Buddy? [Child talking] What’s up? [Childs voice saying Daddy] Sorry.

[00:24:33] CHRIS: No, please. I’m glad to overhear this.

[00:24:39] CALLER: They were fighting a little bit. I don’t know if it was [indistinct child voices]. Sorry.

[00:24:46] CHRIS: No apologies. [Laughter]

[00:24:47] CALLER: You want to talk? You want to talk to someone? Here, This is [indistinct] name is Chris.

[00:25:00] Hi, Chris. [Child saying cute hello]

[00:25:01] CHRIS: Hi. How are you?

[00:25:03] [Childs voice]

[00:25:03] CALLER: Can you say hi?

[Child noises]

[00:25:11] CHRIS: [LAUGHTER] How’s it going?

[00:25:12] CALLER: That’s what I thought would happen. That’s exactly what I thought would happen.

[00:25:14] CHRIS: That was a high watermark in the history of this show. Was it the two-year-old or the four-year-old?

[00:25:21] CALLER: That was the four-year-old.

[00:25:25] CHRIS: Well, wait you.

[00:25:26] CALLER: The two-year-old would probably just look at me, like who is this? Grandma?

[00:25:27] CHRIS: Wow. So, I think that.

[00:25:29] CALLER: Four-year-old, just kind of snickered and had a guilty smile on her face.

[00:25:34] CHRIS: Listen, it’s official, though, youngest caller in the history of this show. It’s now official. Four years old. I’m not going to lie. Constructive criticism. Didn’t, I wouldn’t say didn’t bring the heat conversationally, but certainly on record. Four years old, the youngest caller in the history of the show. Congratulations to you and your family.

[00:25:55] CALLER: [LAUGHTER] Yes. I’m so proud. So yeah, I’m a stay at home Dad. I’m home with them during the day. My wife goes to work during the day. And then I play music. I play gigs just local around town. And I do recording and stuff. I UBER sometimes.

[00:26:15] CHRIS: Nice.

[00:26:16] CALLER: I haven’t done that [indistinct].

[00:26:18] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:19] CALLER: I always, I do whatever I can. I pick up a little extra work here and there. But yeah for the most part, it’s all about these beasts.

[00:26:27] CHRIS: Yes. Just based on the background noise, sounds like that can be fun. I’m sure it can be frustrating, too.

[00:26:33] CALLER: It can be. It can be a lot, especially when they like to keep getting out the front door, just running outside, letting the dog out. And then I’m like chasing like all these all these animals down the street.

[00:26:47] CHRIS: Oh you, you have a dog, too?

[00:26:50] CALLER: Yeah. We’ve had the dog since, since we got married. So.

[00:26:54] CHRIS: Oh right.

[00:26:55] CALLER: Like our first-year marriage. So, we’ve had the dog for a long time.

[00:26:58] CHRIS: OK that’s good.

[00:27:00] CALLER: It’s a little small, it she’s basically a cat.  She’s barely a dog. She climbs on the back of the furniture and like lays back there.

[00:27:08] CHRIS: Oh, that sounds like a dog I might like. A dog that acts like a cat. That’s my kind of dog. People hate on this show….

[00:27:13] CALLER: She still jumps, she still jumps and licks and stuff like a dog. But like sometimes she’s just so much like a cat dog. Like, it’s just hilarious to me.

[00:27:23] CHRIS: Cat Dog. I like that.

[00:27:25] CALLER: Yeah. She’s like a like a hybrid, she’s a cockapoo. She’s like a real small like long hair dog.

[00:27:35] CHRIS: You have a lot of living beings that rely on you, a lot.

[00:27:40] CALLER: It’s, it’s true. I try not to think of it that way.

[00:27:44] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:27:46] CALLER: [LAUGHTER] That, that makes it seem like, like so much more of a responsibility instead of a something I get to get to do I guess.

[00:27:57] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:27:58] CALLER: I think it’s exciting and frustrating. I sometimes feel like I don’t know what I got myself into. But then they do like something cute and amazing and I’m like, oh yeah, that’s that’s why. But, but yeah. Me and my wife are both very, very like outgoing, gregarious people. And I think just having a houseful of people just makes sense. And she comes from a big family. Her family, she’s one of five kids. And her sister, her oldest sister has six kids. So, it’s just she wanted kids. Like she had to lobby for more kids. Kind of like I was like, okay with two. And then we had a third, which was not necessarily planned. And then she, you know, like asked, if we can have another. And I was like hesitant. But then eventually I was like alright. And then we’re done. [LAUGHTER]

[00:28:59] CHRIS: Wow.

[00:29:01] CALLER: So, I’ll be I’ll be getting, I’ll be getting myself fixed.

[00:29:05] CHRIS: You are, your done. Your, you’re tapping out on this.

[00:29:07] CALLER: Yeah.

[00:29:08] CHRIS: You’re officially tapped out.

[00:29:09] CALLER: I’m done.

[00:29:10] CHRIS: [LAUGHTER] Did, was she disappointed. Was your was was there a slight moment where your….

[00:29:16] CALLER: She has no she doesn’t want to be pregnant again, she’s done with that. She’s like right now, she’s like this is madness.

[00:29:26] CHRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:29:29] CALLER: Being pregnant through, being pregnant through the entire. Cause, we were planning on having another, before all of the health problems that our daughter had and we found out during the first stretch of that. So like it’s it was definitely a lot emotionally for for both of us. But for her especially, you know, having a human inside of her like that is definitely a lot to go through, a lot of emotions to navigate.

[00:29:58] CHRIS: And when, when is your newest due?

[00:30:02] CALLER: The 16th of May

[00:30:05] CHRIS: Of May!

[00:30:07] CALLER: Yeah.

[00:30:08] CHRIS: The 16th of May. It’s April 26!

[00:30:11] CALLER: [LAUGHTER] Yes. This is accurate.

[00:30:16] CHRIS: And not again, it seems like so much of this call is like the balance between the joy and the pressure and the and the stress and the and the hard parts. When is your oldest due to get out of the hospital?

[00:30:30] CALLER: Next week. They’re taking her off of the like sedatives and like all that stuff right now.

[00:30:38] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:30:39] CALLER: And she should be waking up on Sunday. Because she was put because she just had she would try to pull the stuff off of her, like the trach that they’ve put in and stuff like how she has to sit completely still for it to heal up. So they had to they had to put her in a medically induced coma.

[00:31:00] CHRIS: Oh, my God.

[00:31:02] CALLER: And so that’s that’s for a for a week and she should be waking up on Sunday. But like I said, she’s a fighter. So like they’re sitting there preparing us, saying that your daughter is going to be paralyzed in a medically induced coma. And like we’re freaking out.

[00:31:19] CHRIS: Oh yeah.

[00:31:20] CALLER: Paralysed! What is that? What does that mean? It just it’s just it’s scary when you’re hearing those kind of terms thrown around towards your daughter.

[00:31:29] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:31:30] CALLER: It’s freaky. But, but they’re preparing us for all this. And then like we come up to see if the surgery was real quick. It was like less than an hour. And then we go up to see her and she’s not like staying asleep at all. She’s like jerking her arms and they have her arm like tied.

[00:31:47] CHRIS: Oh, oh oh.

[00:31:48] CALLER: So that she can’t pull anything out. And she’s like trying to open her eyes, but she just can’t stay awake because she’s on all these different drugs, on these sedatives. And so it’s just crazy. She’s like such, so much fighting that she is like staying awake through some of this. And it’s just it’s kind of crazy [indistinct] that they’re yelling back here.

[00:32:16] CHRIS: Wow. I mean, even it sounded, it sounded the first stretch of you explaining what’s going on made it sound incredibly hard. Now it’s clearer, this is ahhh.

[00:32:28] CALLER: It’s not. It’s been rough.

[00:32:30] CHRIS: Yeah, this is like a storm cloud over your whole life. The past few months.

[00:32:35] CALLER: I know, I know. My voice sounds a little bit like I’m like laughing and stuff and that might seem inappropriate.

[00:32:41] CHRIS: No.

[00:32:42] CALLER: It’s more nervous, nervous laughter, I think. Well, I think so.

[00:32:46] CHRIS: What else can you do? What else can you do? Sometimes it’s so hard that if you don’t, I always, I always have thought this. I’ve always thought this of, sometimes you hear it on the show and also just in real life. It’s like some, sometimes if you don’t laugh, that means you’re going to start, feeling the emotions in the hard ways, and you can’t do that 24 hours a day. You just can’t.

[00:33:14] CALLER: No. Yeah, like I said, like me, my wife and I like, you know, we make sure that we take care of ourselves to, figure that we can do stuff like. Like I said, my mom comes over and babysits and we have friends that will, you know, watch the kids. And and we we get out. We we try to do date nights regularly if we can.

[00:33:36] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:38] CALLER: Because, you know if not, we would, it would just all seem bad all the time. But and we want all of our kids to have, you know, a good life, somewhat stable lives like we still have to get our kids to school and make sure that they can, you know, do stuff that they like. And it sucks because we don’t want to leave out our oldest daughter. But, you know, it is what it is. She’s not able to be with us all the time right now. She’s been home a little bit, but then she she gets sick. Well, and it doesn’t help that my 4-year-old is in preschool. And preschool, prepare for that. It’s a, it’s a petri dish of all kinds of colds and illness. They bring that home and spread it around and everybody.

[00:34:30] CHRIS: Oh boy.

[00:34:32] CALLER: So, it was just kind of like the timing of it all is just kinda a perfect storm.

[00:34:38] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah. It’s your, weird question, just curious. Is your is your new baby, are you delivering at the same hospital that your daughter is at?

[00:34:55] CALLER: Actually, I don’t think so. I’m not, I’m not exactly sure, though, I got a.

[00:34:59] CHRIS: Dude! It’s May 16. You got, it’s two weeks!

[00:35:04] CALLER: It’s in the calendar. I just don’t remember. I got a lot going on man.

[00:35:09] CHRIS: Is that [LAUGHTER] what are you talking about? What are you even talking about? Is that what happens when you have four?

[00:35:17] CALLER: We’ve delivered at different hospitals because our first daughter was born in one hospital, and our second at another. And then we moved to a different city for her and now we’re back in the city.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:35:33] CALLER: Our life is chaos. I don’t know.

[00:35:33] CHRIS: Yeah. I’m not I’m I’m not judging at all I’m laughing. And I know there’s also obviously so much real life stuff that, of course, the logistics are a thing that you’re just I’m sure you check your calendar in the morning. Oh, great is that what I have to do today. So I don’t mean to laugh, but there is something quite funny about the idea of.

[00:35:51] CALLER: I’m also super forgetful like, like you, I have to write it down. I have to, I have to put it in a calendar, put it in a note or whatever, because I will, I will forget.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:36:08] CALLER: What my wife has learned this the hard way.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:36:12] CALLER: Like she’s always sending me texts or telling me, put it in your calendar.

[00:36:17] CHRIS: Because I’m telling you, man, the last ten, the last ten months of my life. I’m not kidding. The bulk of the last 10 months were scheduled down to the minute by the end scheduled really down to the minute. Every piece of logistical information accounted for. By the time you get to your fourth kid. You don’t even know which hospital to show up at. You’re not even sure what to put in the G.P.S..

[00:36:39] CALLER: My wife is off work for the next like month, so we will be together. We’re not like I am. By that time, our our daughter should be home from the hospital.

[00:36:50] CHRIS: Yeah. That’s good.

[00:36:52] CALLER: If everything goes, as the doctor said, and she’ll be home so we’re we’re glad for that. But yeah. So when we go to the hospital, I’ll be the one driving and my wife will probably screaming directions at me. [LAUGHTER]

[00:37:10] CHRIS: Dude, you better get you better get this information down because if she’s between contractions and then you’re like wait, which hospital are we going to and she’s in the car, she’s gonna kill you, she’s going kill you.

[00:37:24] CALLER: She’s scheduled, she’s scheduled for an induction? So that’s the 16th. So it will have it all planned out.

[00:37:31] CHRIS: Why? Is everything okay? Everything okay?

[00:37:35] CALLER: Well, yeah, everything’s fine. She had a C-section for the last one and.

[00:37:40] CHRIS: Got it.

[00:37:41] CALLER: Right now, as she’s trying to do that. She doesn’t want to have a C-section again. So we, their doing an induction just to make sure everything’s safe?

[00:37:51] CHRIS: Right. I’ve always heard that.

[00:37:53] CALLER: She’s never had any never had any complications before. So, everything should be smooth.

[00:37:59] CHRIS: So you got, just so you know. Put this in your calendar, too. Okay. I’m gonna help you out. I’m gonna pull a real bro move for you right here.

[LAUGHTER]

[00:38:07] CHRIS: You got the kid due, what was it the 16th? Right?

[00:38:12] CALLER: Yeah.

[00:38:13] CHRIS: Write this down in your calendar. Mother’s Day, May 12th this year seems like a big one.

[00:38:18] CALLER: Mother’s days always around my birthdate, too, as I usually remember.

[00:38:22] CHRIS: That’s good. Seems like a seems like one in particular.

[00:38:26] CALLER: I remember most things.

[00:38:27] CHRIS: Good, good, good.

[00:38:28] CALLER: I think that birthdays and holidays. I got that. That’s pretty, I’m, I’m a pretty good about that.

[00:38:36] CHRIS: Because this is not the year to forget Mother’s Day, my friend. This is not the year.

[00:38:41] CALLER: Yeah. No, not at all. Not at all. I will be sure.

[00:38:43] CHRIS: I, again, we’ve brought it up a couple times. I applaud your ability to even have this conversation right now, because I would be, I wouId, I would be, I would not be as strong as you are right now, I would imagine.

[00:39:09] CALLER: Thank you. If anyone, anyone that knows me knows that thing I do best is talking. So [LAUGHTER] I guess maybe that’s how I live through it. I talk everybody’s ear off so. There was a call you had recently that I was like I couldn’t identify with this guy more. 

[00:39:28] CHRIS: Was it Jet Mouth?

[00:39:29] CALLER: Yeah.

[00:39:31] CHRIS: The single Dad that can’t stop talking. It turns out that’s a pretty big demographic Jared. A pretty big demographic. Single Dads who can’t shut up. Big demographic likes to listen to this show.

[00:39:42] CALLER: I actually listened to it, I was like I may as well not call? Like he’s basically stole all my talking points.

[00:39:48] CHRIS: [LAUGHTER] We had, oh wait, did I say? I meant stay at home Dad. It’s not single Dad. Of course.

[00:39:56] CALLER: Oh no no, stay at home Dad.

[00:39:56] CHRIS: Stay at home Dad, Stay at home Dad who talk a lot. Big demographic, not single Dad, I’m an idiot.

[00:40:02] CALLER: It does seem to be growing. I actually I there’s a Facebook page, I’m on. It’s like for stay at home dads like that, you know, give advice to each other or just shoot the shit, you know? So it’s just weird seeing how many more there are now that like, you know, when I started doing a couple of years ago.

[00:40:23] CHRIS: Yeah, yeah. We got to get you in jet mouth in a room together. I’ve been threatening to have like a. I’ve been threatening to have like a Beautiful Anonymous live convention someday. Maybe that maybe we’ll have a panel discussion. You and Jet mouth, Fatherhood tips.

[00:40:39] CALLER: We’d just be constantly interrupting each other.

[00:40:43] CHRIS: What if we did a convention? I want to hear people online. What do you think? Everybody comes. I don’t know. New York’s so expensive. We all go to one city and throughout an entire day, it’s live calls spread throughout the day. And then also me moderating panel discussions with prior callers live on stage. Do you think anyone would come to that? I don’t know. Who knows?

[00:41:06] CALLER: I feel like you have enough fans that you could get some people to come to that.

[00:41:11] CHRIS: And a lot of my fans like committing to ridiculous premises. So maybe that would happen. Maybe someday you and Jet Mouth, fatherhood tips. Who else would be good matches? Who else would be good? Some good matches in there. We get maybe the.

[00:41:25] CALLER: There was a guy. There was a guy with like four kids. Right. There’s another one.

[00:41:29] CHRIS: Four kids zero sex. Yeah. Yeah. We can get.

[00:41:32] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:41:33] CHRIS: I know that. I know how to get in touch with that guy at this point. I met him in real life. Maybe we do that and we do that. Maybe we have a shuttle bus that runs from the hotel to the convention center and the road dogs. The guys from road dogs drive the shuttle bus.  They sit up front together. And once everybody gets a little too burnt out, you go and you get some comforting words from the 39 year old grandma. I met her in real life. She’s real nice. Do a whole thing, do a who thing.

[00:41:59] CALLER: I like it.

[00:42:00] CHRIS: Do a whole thing. Did you, did you always plan on being a stay at home Dad once you had your your first kid? Or was that a life adjustment?

[00:42:11] CALLER: No, actually, we when we started out, I was. I was working. I was working when we first had kids through the first two kids. We we both worked a little bit. My wife was in the school. I had a few different jobs. I’ve always been a musician, so I always did that and had other jobs. And so I, I was working for a while. Then my wife graduated and got her master’s degree and was already able to make more money than me. So it was just kind of a no brainer.

[00:42:49] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:42:50] CALLER: Just kind of went that way. Honestly and I talked to a lot of other stay at home Dads and like they get a lot of pushback and a lot of flack from family and just people in general, other Moms. And I’ve never really had that problem. I don’t know. I, everybody’s like that knows me is like, yeah, that totally makes sense.

[00:43:10] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:43:11] CALLER: If you’re going to do it, it’s just like, yeah. I mean whatever works for you or for you. That’s really cool. I get a lot of comments like oh it’s a husband, just stay at home and play with the kids and I’m like dude if you knew. You don’t get breaks like you, your with kids the whole time. Whether they’re in a good mood, a bad mood or, you know, fluctuating between the two, and then they sleep with you at night like they will jump in your bed crying in the middle of the night. You don’t get sleep, and then you are with them all day.

[00:43:46] CHRIS: So that’s it. Let’s talk the listener. Talk the listener through an average day, like starting when when you wake up. Let’s talk the listener through an average step by step day in your life as the stay at home Dad are coming up on four kids.

[00:44:29] [AD BREAK]

[00:46:06] CHRIS: Thanks again to all our advertisers. Where going to get back to the phone call. Now where going to hear about the true intensity of our callers schedule. Starting when you wake up, let’s talk the listener through an average step by step day in your life as the stay at home dad are coming up on four kids.

[00:46:18] CALLER: I kind of go with the flow. I mean, I my wife is usually up. I’m a late riser, too. It’s hard to say, but my wife is up and ready for work by like 6:00, 7:00 usually. And and she goes down to use the bathroom downstairs. So she doesn’t bother us or the kids and wake them up early if she can help it. But sometimes they already are. And so I’m usually up by seven or seven thirty and I’m making breakfast and getting the pre-schooler ready for school. And and then me, me and the boy and my oldest when she’s home, we’re home together. Chilling.  Usually just clean up doing dishes or watching movies or something. And then we go pick her up. And we in the afternoon, we usually do something do some sort of go to a park or something if it’s nice out or we play at home if it’s not. And then Mom gets home we have dinner. It’s not, I mean, it’s different every day. But like, it’s I don’t know. It’s not that exciting.

[00:47:28] CHRIS: Could be worse. I was anticipating, I have to say, I did not expect when I was in my mind, I’m like, I’m going to have this guy break down his minute by minute routine. It’s going to be it’s going to blow everybody’s mind. And I did not expect your first sentence to be kind of go with the flow. I did not expect that.

[00:47:43] CALLER: I do.

[00:47:44] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:47:45] CALLER: It’s not. I don’t need an alarm because my kids wake me up.

[00:47:49] CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:47:50] CALLER: I’m never I haven’t slept past eight o’clock since. I don’t know when. My boy is just like me, though. Like I said. He wakes up like so late. If we don’t wake him up, he will sleep until some days ten thirty or eleven. Like he is just like out for the night when he goes to bed. But he also tries to stay up as long as possible. So it kind of, double edged sword there. When, we’re trying to get some time for us at night and he’s like still up at 10:00pm and will not go to sleep. My wife is just like, all right. I just we’ll go to bed with him then.

[00:48:32] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:48:33] CALLER: Because I, I usually stay up later because she has to be to work early. I’m a night owl, so I always stay up a little later. And sometimes she’ll just go to bed with them and I’ll stay up a little bit. But that. Yeah, they’re there, they’re funny. There’s always new adventures. It’s, it’s really cool like, my favourite thing is just having them learning new words, learning language and learning how to communicate and seeing both of them learning new things from each other. And it’s just really cool. That’s probably my favourite thing is just seeing kind of the light bulbs click. When they when they learn something new and how excited they are about it. I mean, that’s my favorite.

[00:49:29] CHRIS: That’s awesome. Looking forward to it, seeing that myself.

[00:49:33] CALLER: Yeah, it’s exciting. And it’s and it’s funny how quick like you said, how quickly like with the Avengers thing. How quickly? Like this euphoric feeling like they were in something really cool and really new, like something new, really exciting. And then they just like destroy it.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:49:54] CALLER: They learn that thing and then they just won’t stop.

[00:50:00] CHRIS: Right. Right. Right. Are any of them into music right now?

[00:50:04] CALLER: Learning words. Sorry what was that.

[00:50:06] CHRIS: I like what you were just about to say. So they learn a new word and then you hear that word a thousand times in the next four days. It’s that type of thing.

[00:50:14] CALLER: Yeah. And sometimes it’s like a swear word.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:50:17] CALLER: And then you’re like, uh oh. It’s like the time that my 4 year old said, sorry Sally, Jesus Fucking Christ.

[00:50:30] CHRIS: Oh no.

[00:50:34] CALLER: This is to my Mum. She text me that she says that. And I’m like potty mouth I was something like potty mouth and she’s like, I wonder where she heard it? Like, Oh, no.

[00:50:50] CHRIS: That must be fun to like.

[00:50:52] CALLER: Yea.

[00:50:53] CHRIS: When you’re your wife gets home from work and all of a sudden your kids has learned the ability to say, Jesus fucking Christ, your wife must just like look at you, like, what happened, what happened today?

[00:51:03] CALLER: My wife is a bit of a potty mouth to, I guess. They come by it, honestly. I’m realising now I’m going to have to curb it a little bit. Like, I don’t care that much, but they can’t go around saying it to everyone.

[00:51:17] CHRIS: Yeah. I was asking before, are any of them into music?

[00:51:23] CALLER: They. Yeah. They do love music. They’re still very young, so they don’t really you know, they don’t do much, but they love to sing. If I pull my guitar out, my daughter’s singing over me. So, I have a hard time practicing sometimes. Like a lot of times if I need to rehearse or anything like that, I need to do it in another room.

[00:51:46] CHRIS: Right.

[00:51:47] CALLER: But when I do get it out, I like to sometimes learn, like, the Disney songs and the Moana songs and stuff like that. Pop songs that they like. She likes that Bruno Mars song Count on Me and like, I’ll sing that one and she likes it. The counting in the song, so like she’ll sing along with that. It’s like so fun to have them so into it.

[00:52:09] CHRIS: Do I know that one?

[00:52:12] CALLER: It’s not one of the super popular ones, but. [SINGING] Count on me like, one, two, three.

[00:52:20] CHRIS: Okay. Yeah.

[00:52:21] CALLER: Just like a song, like friend song.

[00:52:25] CHRIS: That must be, as a musician. That first time that you realize you can get the kids to sing along. That must be pretty cool as a musician.

[00:52:33] CALLER: It is, it’s fun. Like I said, it’s hard sometimes. Like if you’re like, you got a gig coming up, and you have to rehearse. Your like guys, I love singing with you guys, but I gotta, I gotta get this down.

CHRIS & CALLER: [LAUGHTER]

[00:52:52] CALLER: It’s like I’m so excited that they’re into it, but like, I got things I gotta do. But it is awesome and I can’t wait until they’re a little older. It gets like. Kids can actually start learning. My daughter wants to take dance lessons. We actually have to get on to that because we told her once she was potty trained that we would get her into dance classes and we haven’t done that yet and she’s been potty trained for a little while.

[00:53:16] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:53:17] CALLER: We’re starting to break her trust.

[00:53:18] CHRIS: And you can’t exactly set a four year old down and be like, hey, we’re still into it. But there’s a lot of things that have come up in the schedule. So you can’t really explain the nature of of, yeah.

[00:53:29] CALLER: Yeah, it’s hard. And it is like that’s an added thing there that’s hard with the with the oldest being in the hospital, little like I’m like were is sissy, you know, like what’s going on. They’re so confused and when we’re frustrated like they can feel it. And they when they know that she’s gone and were like emotionally distraught, like they feel it, like we’re scared and they are scared. So it’s, it’s definitely a hard thing to try to help them understand when they don’t really know what’s going on.

[00:54:08] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:54:10] CALLER: But, but they’re really great with her. Like, they’re so like they fight with each other, but they’re so sweet to her. Like, I’m so glad for that because it could be really hard to have the kids to deal with the kids if they were being as rough with her as they are with each other.

[00:54:29] CHRIS: Right.

[00:54:30] CALLER: But they’re really sweet with her. You know, hugs and stuff. It’s just really great, like they are really good with her.

[00:54:37] CHRIS: That’s amazing. That’s amazing. That’s amazing, man.

[00:54:46] CALLER: Hey, [CHILDS NAME BEEPED OUT] you wanna try talking again? You got anything to say? Nothing?

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[00:54:59] CALLER: She just laughed. She got shy and laughed. I tried.

[00:55:03] CHRIS: That’s fair. That’s fair. All good, all good. Wow, man. And you called me in a real pressure cooker stretch of life. And.

[00:55:16] CALLER: I yeah, it’s a weird time, but yeah, I was just I was standing there on my phone and the tweet popped up. I was like, I think I’ve got time. I might as well try.

[00:55:28] CHRIS: Yeah. 

[00:55:29] CALLER: So, I’m always looking forward to talk and I. Yeah, it is funny like how you get on the phone and your mind is just like what am I going to talk about.

[00:55:43] CHRIS: Yeah.

[00:55:44] CALLER: It just goes blank.

[00:55:46] CHRIS: Yeah. I mean, dude, I’m going to ask you. Just point blank. Something that I’m sure other people in your life have asked. But just to make sure I put it out there in a basic way because you’ve got so many other people to worry about. How are you doing? So on like a basic level. How are you doing?

[00:56:06] CALLER: I mean, considering everything, I’m doing all right. Doing pretty good. I’m, I’m really excited for springtime and we, I was saying we just moved. We were living in a real small place that was far too small for five humans to be living in and a dog. It was, it was like a duplex. A two bedroom place that we were living with, with three kids. So it was kind of hard. So we moved into a four bedroom house in November. And man, it’s it’s amazing how much that has changed everything. Like they have so much more space and they have a yard to play in. And there’s so much we have so much more space here and so much more for the kids. It just it was really hard where we were. So I’m really excited. We’re going to have a garden out the back and I can teach the kids to grow food and. And yeah, just, being able to have a nice yard and a house and a house big enough for everybody has been really great. I got some recording gear recently so I’ve been recording some music. And hoping to get some stuff up on the Internet by the end of the year. So I’m like, I’m actually doing stuff and I don’t know how I have the energy to do it, but my wife is also encourages me to pursue, you know, the things that I that I like. So she, this spring, she’s surprised me like, you know, with our tax return. Why don’t you upgrade some of your equipment so that you can get back to doing that? So you got a lot of you got a lot of music. You should be doing that. Like, I’m just so thankful for her and like how how amazing she is and how hard she works. Like we’ve been working and we’ve been sharing responsibility of going up to the hospital and she’s working and doing all of this while pregnant. And I just. She’s kind of unbelievable how strong she is and how much that she can how much she does for this family. And she’s quite incredible. I couldn’t ask for a better person to to partner up with for this life thing. It’s really great. So as much struggle as we have. I’m doing really good because I think I just am in a relationship where we’re both just very supportive of each other. So it’s just it I think it helps the hard times not be quite as hard when we can, when we have each other to really support each other.

[00:59:15] CHRIS: I think a lot of people.

[00:59:17] CALLER: I don’t know if I answered. I don’t know if I answered that question, or if I was rambling. Little bit of both sorry.

[00:59:21] CHRIS: Oh, are you kidding? That was like poetry. That was beautiful. That was like the most beautiful touching thing. I feel like a lot of people listening just heard that rant and just quietly paused and went relationship goals. That sounds so beautiful that you get to lean on each other like that. Because I, the sense I get is that she must have a similar answer about you. She must have a similar opinion about you. It sounds like you guys create a foundation that’s pretty bulletproof.

[00:59:52] CALLER: She does. She often reminds me that like she appreciates like the fact that a lot of guys wouldn’t stay home with the kids and wouldn’t necessarily encourage their wives to pursue their career. You know, and I, I don’t get that. I don’t know why somebody would be weird about that. But there are people who are still in 2019, right? Oh, a woman shouldn’t have a career. Like she has an Aunt who has said that shit to her.

CHRIS: [LAUGHTER]

[01:00:22] CALLER: Like, super religious like that. You should be home with your family.

[01:00:33] CHRIS: Yes. I hate to laugh, but God damn that, that sounds like, no offense, sorry Sally, a shitty relative. No, no offense if the Aunt is otherwise awesome. But at least a shitty moment.

[01:00:47] CALLER: Yeah, it’s it’s it’s weird when stuff like that comes up, when you like have somebody that likes, this is their actual words they used. The feminist lie, that you could have a career and a family as a woman. And my wife like she gets livid, because my wife is she is a big feminist like, she is like, that kind that kind of stuff sets her off. But obviously, why wouldn’t it? Like, that’s ridiculous.

[01:01:18] CHRIS: I mean your wife sounds like the definition of a strong woman.

[01:01:24] CALLER: Oh, yeah. She’s, for sure.

[01:01:28] CHRIS: She got her Aunt. Then her Aunt gets on the phone, that’s like, how dare you have a career. Your wife just puts her fist through the wall and then.

[01:01:38] CALLER: Yeah, it’s crazy. When you think about like how much she, how hard she works to, you know, to get her degree and get a career and how she still working to do because it’s it’s hard it’s hard as a woman to get a, you know, a good career that you can support your family with. You know, the fact that she is doing that. And it’s I don’t know, it’s just really. She definitely amazes me. Like with how much she does for sure. I don’t do that much. I, I sing songs and drive people around in my car.

[01:02:20] CHRIS: But, don’t undercut yourself, though man. Don’t do it.

[01:02:25] CALLER: I know. I, I shouldn’t do that. I don’t.

[01:02:29] CHRIS: Your getting self-deprecating. Yeah. I do it too. I do it too. And I’ve started to really, only in the past few years I’ve start it’s actually this podcast. Like fans of my stand up and my other comedy work in the past, self-deprecation is my bread and butter. But the Beautiful Anonymous fans have really been like, Chris, you don’t have to beat up on yourself all the time and you certainly don’t need to be self-deprecating either. Like this is a.

[01:02:53] CALLER: No, I know.

[01:02:56] CHRIS: This does not sound easy and it sounds very noble and commendable. And I think anybody anybody listening who has a traditional view of like, well, the man’s gotta go be the man of the house, the man’s got to bring home the bacon. I would think anybody listening to you right now would say that. You’re certainly putting in as much work as many people would in a 9 to 5 and on top of it supporting your wife.

[01:03:21] CALLER: And my wife is very like she is. She is very good about that. Like reminding me that. Like that she, she tells me that she, she values and appreciates what I do here and even, like when she has [INDISTINCT] she will sometimes say, I couldn’t do it. And I think this is the way it would have to have worked, because I don’t think I could stay home. [LAUGHTER]

[01:03:51] CHRIS: Well, there’s something to it. I mean, dude, I have had one child for nine days. And when I got to leave to come here to do this hour-long phone call, I was like, huh? Okay, I’m gonna miss the kid. But this is kind of my first hour off. You don’t really ever have that. You get that like on a date night once in a blue moon.

[01:04:18] CALLER: Yeah. This is how how crazy right we are to. We are, we still, you know, through all the hard stuff. We try to have our lives. You know, we try to do things I had planned before, before our daughter went back to the hospital, I’d planned a house concert because my friend was going to be in town who plays music. And we did that this weekend. We didn’t cancel it. Anyway, and I

[01:04:43] CHRIS: Meaning, house concert, meaning you invited a bunch of friends over and you and your friend played music.

[01:04:50] CALLER: Yeah, I invited people over and we set up, you know, set up sound and everything and play played a show, like acoustic mostly, just playing guitars and singing. And I made a bunch of like homemade pizzas on top of that. So it was like a tonne of work.

[01:05:09] CHRIS: Dude

[01:05:10] CALLER: So, it was like.

[01:05:11] CHRIS: You gotta.

[01:05:12] CALLER: The kids are running around outside.

[01:05:15] CHRIS: How, how are you and your wife doing all this? How, Dude! Just saying that you’re going to put on a show and make pizza on the same day. Makes me want to sleep for a week. Just doing that, let alone you’ve got two other kids. You had a wife who’s like nine and a half months pregnant because the nine months pregnant thing is a weird lie society is made up. It’s 10. And you have a sick kid in the hospital and you’re like, oh, let me throw a show and make a bunch of pizza. What are you doing?

[01:05:50] CALLER: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. My wife is pulling up right now actually.

[01:05:53] CHRIS: She sounds like a hero. I just got so happy.

[01:05:57] CALLER: She is. I just told her after the show, like there’s not a lot of women that would put up with that. Kind of like putting on a show like I haven’t seen my friend in a long time. So I was like, I don’t get to see him very often anyway. He doesn’t live in town. So I wanted to have him over. And we don’t ever get to play music together anymore. So it’s like, let’s play a show and invite some people over. And so we planned it like in like February. And then my daughter went back in the hospital and I kind of forgot about it.

CHRIS: [Laughter]

[01:06:34] CALLER: And then it was coming up and I was like.

[01:06:35] CHRIS: He forgot to write it down, yet again, forgot to put it in the calendar.

[01:06:40] CALLER: I mean, I knew I had an event put on Facebook. It was like it was already planned. But I just I guess we just didn’t cancel it. I guess we [INDISTINCT]. Yeah. Look at this. I was supposed to meet her at the theater, but then I told her that I got through. And so she just decided to come home.

[01:07:02] CHRIS: Oh, that’s nice. I mean, we have two minutes left. Can you tell her that? I find her.

[01:07:08] CALLER: Well talk her, talk to her for the last few minutes.

[01:07:10] CHRIS: Are you,  Dude, it was so great talking to you. Thank you for filling me in.

[01:07:14] CALLER: Yeah.

[01:07:14] CHRIS: And before we get off the phone, I want to send all the well wishes and love to your daughter.

[01:07:21] CALLER: What’s that?

[01:07:22] CHRIS: I just said before you and I get off the phone, I wanted to send all the well-wishers and love to your daughter and hope everything

[01:07:29] CALLER: Thank you.

[01:07:30] CHRIS: Turns out okay? Yeah.

[01:07:34] CALLER: Yea I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Sorry, I got a little distracted there.

[01:07:37] CHRIS: I would imagine. Oh, really? You got distracted in a life of constant activity and chaos. You don’t say, you don’t say.

[01:07:47] CALLER: Sorry, I’m not used to it.

[01:07:50] CHRIS: It’s all good. We got a minute left.

[01:07:55] CALLER: Oh, man. I don’t even know what to say.

[01:08:00] CHRIS: You just got to tell your wife, I find her very inspiring.

[01:08:03] CALLER: [NAME BLEEPED OUT] Oh, shoot.

[01:08:05] CHRIS: We’ll bleep it. We’ll bleep it.

[01:08:04] CALLER: [TALKING TO WIFE] Chris finds you very inspiring and he is sending well wishes to our daughter. And I can’t believe I said the name.  All this time listening with the show.

[01:08:19] CHRIS: It’s okay. You said your daughter’s name before too. Well, bleep them both. It’s okay.

[01:08:25] CALLER: Did I really? Oh!

[01:08:26] CHRIS: You did. It’s OK. We got your back. Me and old Jared O’Connell over here. He’s not really a bad guy. He’s not. He’s the nicest person. We’re gonna bleep it out, protect you and your family.

[01:08:35] CALLER: Thank you.

[01:08:36] CHRIS: Dude. Thank you.

[01:08:37] CALLER: I love the show and I love your other show, The Chris Gethard Show. I was watching and I was sorry to hear it got cancelled, but I did love it.

[01:08:46] CHRIS: That’s OK. Thank you.

[01:08:48] CALLER: Yeah. And I love the podcast and look forward to listening. I’m going to dread listening to this episode.

[01:08:58] CHRIS: No, it’s great.

[01:08:59] CALLER: I hate listening to my speaking voice.

[01:09:02] CHRIS: Hey, man. Our time is up. But you know what I want to close with? I just want to say that talking to you right now in this particular window of my life is very, very good for me, cause I think you taught me a lot today about being a good Dad. So I thank you for that.

[01:09:19] CALLER: No problem. I hope that helps. Yes. Congratulations, by the way, that you said eight days.

[01:09:25] CHRIS: Nine. Yeah, 17th.

[01:09:30] CALLER: Congratulations.

[01:09:31] CHRIS: Thanks. And congratulations to you, too. I hope everything goes great with the delivery.

[01:09:34] CALLER: Thank you. [RING]

[01:09:40] CHRIS: Caller, you mentioned you were dreading listening to this, I hope that it wasn’t as terrifying as you anticipated. And hey, everybody, rare thing. This caller actually reached out to us since we recorded, gave us an update. And I thought with the nature of this episode, it was well worth sharing. So let me just let you know what was sent over. He said hello. I wasn’t sure how to go about contacting you, so I hope this is OK. I’m the caller from episode 167. It’s maybe too late, but I thought I’d give an update and let you know that my oldest daughter is out of the hospital recovering very well from a tracheotomy. She was the best she has in months. Also, our new baby was born on her oldest sister’s birthday and she and Mom are doing great. Thanks for having me on the show. Looking forward to the stay at home dad follow up. We’re all looking forward to that follow up. So, so happy to hear that everybody is doing well. Thanks for that update. I’m sure a lot of us listeners are cheering that on. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you, Jared O’Connor. Thank you to Harry Nelson, who was big timing us this week, not in the booth because he’s off in LA. Being fancy Harry Nelson? Justin Lindo. Thank you for everything. Shellshag. Thank you for the music. Want to know more about what I’m up to? Go to Chrisgeth.com. You want to help the show? You go your rate review and especially subscribe an Apple podcast and help so much if you actually subscribe. Please do so. Thanks so much. See you next time.

[NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW]

[01:11:13] CHRIS: Next time on Beautiful Anonymous. After three years of discussions that often deal with mental health and me never knowing how to navigate them. Finally, a mental health professional gets through on the show.

Now I have a sneaking suspicion. That a lot of people who are on your side of the couch are pretty fucked up in their own right. Sorry Sally, am I right or wrong on this?

[01:11:41] CALLER: I would say that therapists are humans too. There is obviously something that draws people to the profession wanting to be helping professionals. You know what that is can vary greatly, but absolutely we are people too. And I know a lot of my therapy friends go to therapy and I’ve been in therapy in the past. Honestly, that’s usually part of our training to see what it’s like to sit on the other side of the couch, so to speak. And so, yeah. We, we have struggles. We get divorced. We struggle with parenting. We, you know, manage depression or anxiety or psychosis or any number of things. Just cause we’re in the helping professions doesn’t mean we’re perfect because, oh, gosh, there’s no fun in perfection.

[01:12:26] CHRIS: That’s next time on Beautiful Anonymous.