EP. 317 — The Land Of Smiles (Live from Denver)

Chris [00:00:00] This episode includes a conversation about suicide. So please keep that in mind before you listen. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 800 273 8255. Hello, Denver, Colorado! It’s Beautiful/ Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred.

Theme Song [00:00:42] (THEME SONG).

Chris [00:00:42] Hi, everybody. Chris Gethard here. You’re about to hear a call that we recorded live on stage in Denver last year. That was a really good show. We ate at a deli across the street that was Jersey themed. That’s how I do it. I travel anywhere in the country and I can find the Jersey themed food option. Denver is a great town. It was so fun to be back. Thanks to my friend Andrea Quinn, who comes on the road and does the audio on that road at a lot of these traveling shows. Very fun times. If you’re saying yourself, live show? Laughs? That has a live energy. I’d like to do- go see a live show sometime. Well guess what? We got live shows coming up. I got stand up happening May 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th. Most of those are in Florida. And then our first live taping’s back May 13th in Durham, North Carolina, May 14th in Asheville, May 19th in Pittsburgh, May 20th, in Ann Arbor, May 21st in Grand Rapids. Let’s pack these shows out. ChrisGeth.com for tickets, everybody. Okay, enough plugs. This episode you’re about to hear, this was a crazy one in general. Really crazy one to do live. You know the live shows, we find ways to make them entertaining. That that live crowd gets on board but everybody knows with Beautiful/Anonymous we never know which way these calls are going to go. Sometimes partway through, they turn on a dime and turn from one thing to another. This call has a lot of entertaining parts, but it also has some parts that are honestly shocking, pretty jaw dropping. I mentioned, you know, we put a trigger warning about suicide and that’s true. But there’s also a lot of stuff about certain types of relationships and sexual liaisons that that that might mess with people’s heads, too. But what I do know is that this caller has figured out a lot through life due to situations where where people who were supposed to protect her put her in bad situations. And because of that, decided to just take some chances and some big swings and has gone all over the world and and has become who she is and landed where she’s landed and is living the life she’s lived because of all these things. It’s a really hard call to describe, as you can hear. And it’s one that I think back on I go, Wow, like, right- sometimes it’s easy. Last week it was just, hey, identical twins. They were funny, charming, energetic, identical twins. And this week I go, I don’t even know how to tell you what this one is. But I really think a lot of people might get something out of it. And the caller was really brave and bold in sharing this all with us. Enjoy it.

Voicemail Robot [00:03:24] Thank you for calling Beautiful/ Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.

Caller [00:03:32] Hello?

Chris [00:03:33] Hey, what’s up? How’s it going?

Caller [00:03:36] Oh, my gosh. Is this Chris?

Chris [00:03:37] Yeah, it’s Chris. How are you?

Caller [00:03:38] Oh, my gosh. I got through! This is crazy.

Chris [00:03:41] It’s Chris, and-

Caller [00:03:42] I’m great!

Chris [00:03:43] It’s the Oriental Theater in Denver, Colorado, as well.

Caller [00:03:47] I know. I love Colorado. It’s my favorite, so awesome. Hello, everybody. I will tell you. Third time’s a charm. I have- this is my third time for your live shows to get through. And I’m through. I’m just so- this is crazy.

Chris [00:04:02] Nice. I’m psyched you got through. How are you?

Caller [00:04:04] I’m good. It’s Friday. I have a four year old and a two year old who are watching movie right now. I’m like, I might have a very important call. You need to stay out there and give me some space. So we’ll see if they follow through with that.

Chris [00:04:18] So they got extra screen time tonight because of the show. That’s cool.

Caller [00:04:23] Well, Fridays are our movie nights, so it’s kind of like our tradition. But I think they should be good, hopefully.

Chris [00:04:29] What kind of movies do your kids like? Because my kid thinks movies is just Pixar’s Cars. It’s really adorable. We will say in front of him, like, hey, maybe we should have a movie tonight, like movie night tonight. And I and he will literally look at us and go, I’ll watch Cars.

Caller [00:04:46] So that was my daughter with Lilo and Stitch for about six months. And now- she’s she’s not a princess person. She likes Lilo and Stitch, she likes Moana. And then just like random Netflix series of TV shows. It’s never very exciting. It’s like, let’s watch something new, and it’s you just don’t get that with kids.

Chris [00:05:04] We tried Lilo and Stitch and it went over Cal’s head. He’s a little too young. We tried Moana, and he got scared because I think in the early scenes, there’s maybe a near-drowning?

Caller [00:05:13] Okay, so he’s scared of water? Does he like bathtime?

Chris [00:05:17] Surprise, surprise. My son is a sensitive boy, it turns out.

Caller [00:05:24] Big shocker.

Chris [00:05:24] Yeah, well, I hope that they’re good. I hope they’re good. And that this this call, we get to really hash it out, because I know as a parent how valuable time is. So I appreciate it.

Caller [00:05:34] Yes. And I you know, I feel like I’ve been trying to get in since 2014, 2015. I have a lot to talk about.

Chris [00:05:43] Before the show even existed, you’ve been trying to call? Sorry, I had to. 2016.

Caller [00:05:50] Chris! 2016. Okay. So I was like one of the first listeners and I have tried and tried to get on. So I’m very excited to be here tonight.

Chris [00:05:58] Nice. Well, what do you want to talk about?

Caller [00:06:00] So I just want to kind of give you a recap of just a whole array. I swear I have such a crazy life. And then whatever, I mean, really, whatever you want to focus in on. So to start… I grew up in the South. Texas. Texas is huge, so you can never really guess where I’m from, but raised in a small town. Had a great childhood. Until my teenage years. My mom started drinking a lot. She started sleeping with my friends, with people I was really close to. And went to college, everything kind of settled down, and she ended up killing herself.

Chris [00:06:40] Oh no.

Caller [00:06:41] So that happened. A year later my mimi died who was her mom. And that same day I found out my dad, who raised me, wasn’t my biological father. So shit hit the fan. Sorry, Sally. And I was- I myself was really struggling. So I have some friends who are living in Spain teaching English abroad. I went to visit them. And then about six months later, I packed up my life, sold everything I had, and moved to Thailand. Got robbed within the first week of $3,000. All the money I had. And still somehow managed to stay there for a year. Moved to Italy, completely rethought myself. And now I’m married with my two kids. So my life has done a complete 360, but a lot of crazy shit has happened between then and now.

Chris [00:07:29] I tell you what, 5 minutes in, you’ve- you certainly laid a lot of track.

Caller [00:07:39] I know.

Chris [00:07:40] Well, I’m sorry. I mean that to be to deal with all that tragedy, let alone at that age. Really brutal. So I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.

Caller [00:07:50] Yeah. You know, I never really knew that suicide even existed growing up. You know, like you would get sad about, like, a boyfriend. And then when she did that, I was 20- I think I was 22. And it was like, oh, wow, like people actually do this. So it was really awakening for me. And I’ve gotten really involved in like American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and just like a lot of mental health stuff because it is real. And I struggle and I think I’ve struggled my whole life, but I never really knew until she until she passed. So. And that’s one of the big reasons I listen to you, because you’re so- you’re such an advocate for mental health. So I really appreciate that a lot.

Chris [00:08:31] Well, thanks. And now, first of all, again, so it’s just super sad. Those stories are always sad. The AFSP is a great organization. I’ve done some work for them. I also can tell you I don’t know if you’re in the mood to laugh thinking about this topic, but one of the most humiliating moments of my entire life is related to the AFSB. And that is saying a lot because I’ve I’ve had some humiliating moments. I don’t know if you want to hear about it.

Caller [00:09:01] Yes, of course.

Chris [00:09:02] So they have like a big annual gala in New York City, and it’s in this building that has like floor to ceiling glass windows that overlooks Central Park. It’s fancy stuff. Like this is one of these New York City things where they’re trying to bring out like the big money spenders to donate cash. And they asked me to host it and I was flattered and I was scared. I said yes. I went and did it. And it was like the speakers were like a United States congressman and an Olympic swimmer and all these people, you know, people who had lost people, people who had like worked on legislation, people who had dealt with struggles themselves. It was really intense. And before the event, they had a silent auction where you walk around and they’re getting people to like bid on all these things. And I was kind of perusing the items there. And this couple, they were a younger couple, they came up to me and they were like, Hey, would you mind taking a picture? And I said, Of course. And I put my arm around the young lady and faced the man. And then he said, No, I was hoping you could take a picture of us. And I said…

Caller [00:10:08] Oh, yeah, yeah, that’s kind of embarrassing.

Chris [00:10:10] I said, Yeah, yeah, I could take a picture of you. I’m so sorry about that. And they were like, No problem, man. And it was weird. It was weird behavior on my part. And then I got up and hosted the gala and I mentioned it. And I was like, Man, I thought if there was any place where I might be known, it would be a suicide prevention gala I was hosting in, like, my home turf of New York City. No such luck. I was just an asshole. I was just the asshole who tried to get in on your fucking Instagram.

Caller [00:10:43] In your picture.

Chris [00:10:44] Yeah, I’m just here trying to crowd out your Instagram.

Caller [00:10:47] That’s uncomfortable. I’m sorry.

Chris [00:10:48] No, you don’t have to be sorry about anything. It was very egotistical of me. And I mean, if there’s one place where I need to get knocked down a peg it’s at a suicide prevention gala.

Caller [00:10:58] Yes, that’ll definitely put you in place. They’re very healing, though, right? Just to like be involved in any of that stuff.

Chris [00:11:04] It’s really intense.

Caller [00:11:05] It’s like a really hard experience, but it’s very, very healing.

Chris [00:11:09] Very meaningful. And to be in a room of other people who are all connected to it in some way makes you realize, you know, I think everything that relates to suicide is like infested with loneliness. If you’re a person who struggles with those feelings, it’s very lonely. If you lose someone to it, it’s very, very lonely. I think a lot of the activists who work in that world find it to be a very lonely and daunting thing. It’s such an uphill climb. So to get everybody in a room together and realize like, Oh, this isn’t a solitary pursuit, is actually, like you said, very healing, very much so.

Caller [00:11:48] Yeah. And it’s a real thing. And I mean, just for everybody who’s there, it’s not worth it. I promise. The people left behind, even if you feel like they hate you, they don’t. So, I mean, my mom slept with my boyfriend growing up. I didn’t hate her. She did some terrible things. And I miss her to this day. She was just struggling. You know, everybody has their own personal battles that they deal with.

Chris [00:12:10] Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So let me ask you… How did you land on on Thailand? You said you had some friends teaching English there?

Caller [00:12:21] So I had friends that were in Spain and I fell in love with Spain. I loved Europe. But I talked to advisors because I ended up getting like my certification to teach English abroad. And they said, well, you know, Asia is the best route to go for your first time. And I researched Thailand. It was known as the land of Smiles. And honestly, I just said, okay, let’s go there. So I flew in and- by myself- and it was crazy. Such a culture shock.

Chris [00:12:54] So you went because of what was clearly like a tourist board generated catchphrase?

Caller [00:13:00] Yes.

Chris [00:13:04] Pause right there. It’s time for some ads. And kudos to that tourist board. They generated a catchphrase and it actually worked. It must be nice for somebody out there to hear that the hard work actually paid off. Hey, we’ll be right back… Thanks to all of our advertisers. Now let’s get back to the phone call… So you went because of what was clearly like a tourist board generated catchphrase?

Caller [00:13:38] Yes. I knew I wanted to go somewhere in Asia. I’m like, oh, everybody’s smiley and happy there. Okay, I’ll go there.

Chris [00:13:44] So, like, in the same way that New Jersey came up with, like the Garden State or like New Jersey and you, perfect together. You’ve always got a friend in Pennsylvania. Virginia is for lovers. Thailand, the land of smiles. And next thing you know, your entire life is turned around. Man, they got their money’s worth outta whoever they paid to make that phrase up.

Caller [00:14:06] And let me just tell you, they were like, they’re great people. It was it was the hardest nine months of my life because I flew into Bangkok, I met somebody who was from the States, and she ended up moving to a different town than I ended up moving to teach. But within my first two weeks there, I got robbed of all my money.

[00:14:27] Yeah. Talk to me about that.

Caller [00:14:28] So, I was on OkCupid. This random, you know, I’m sure y’all have heard of OkCupid. It’s like the ghetto version of Tinder. Went out with this guy from Belgium and he was really rude to the waitstaff. And I said, I’m not doing this. But he checked in on me every day. So I was like, We’ll just be friends. And I got robbed when I was out on this party road, drunk. Somebody slashed my purse and took everything that I had. My phone, all my money. And my family at the time wasn’t talking to me because of the whole dad situation. So I ended up logging into OkCupid on my computer and found this guy and I said, Hey, I just got robbed. I don’t know what to do. So he came and picked me up from my hostel and I lived with him for two months. This completely random stranger paid for all my food, bought me a pillow, got me all the necessities that you need to live, until I found a job. And then I moved to a random village and was probably one of the only Americans or white people that spoke English there. So I was forced to kind of face my demons head on.

Chris [00:15:37] So the Belgian guy you went on a date with was it was a dickhead to the waitstaff and you were like, I’m not feeling it. And then he bought you a pillow and you lived in his house?

Caller [00:15:46] Yes, exactly what happened. I mean, he was rude to the wait staff and then he just kind of took care of me. And we always joked like, okay, if we’re not married by 30, we’re going to marry each other just for citizenship. Because he wanted to come here and I wanted to go to Europe.

Chris [00:16:01] I have to ask.

Caller [00:16:02] But now I’m married, so.

Chris [00:16:03] Oh, you are? He’s not the father of your children, then.

Caller [00:16:05] He is not the father of my children.

Chris [00:16:07] Okay. Are you still in touch?

Caller [00:16:09] No, he is um, no. He’s kind of- I, I feel like he did some shady things to get money. He was a muay thai fighter. And then when I moved back to the US, he was kind of trying to be more than friends and I wasn’t about it.

Chris [00:16:25] I want you to know that we are in Denver tonight and you are now at a tipping point where every time you list a new specific about your life, the crowd starts giggling because it’s just so much. I also think a lot of them maybe ate edibles, but.

Caller [00:16:44] I know. It’s a lot. I mean, I went to counseling after my mom passed and she was like, I mean, this was a lot and this was before everything with Thailand and everything else happened. So, I mean, every day it’s just kind of a new adventure for me. It’s never a dull moment.

Chris [00:16:58] The Muay Thai fighter rescues you. Did you ever have you ever have you have you ever tracked down what was going on with your dad?

Caller [00:17:07] Yeah. So my dad, I recently actually just had this conversation with my dad who raised me, who will always, always my dad, cause I had never- I’ve known for seven years that he wasn’t my biological, but I’ve never fully talked to him. Because when I asked it, it just set off a whole domino effect. And a lot of the people in my family don’t talk to me anymore because they thought I was being disrespectful. But in reality, I just wanted to know my blood. You know? For health reasons and for many reasons. So my mom got pregnant with me. She was staying with her aunt and uncle because I think she- it was, you know, back in the eighties, if anybody drank too much, you’re off in rehab. And my mom was raised in a Baptist home, so she clearly had issues in their mind. So she got pregnant, moved back to Kansas, met my dad when she was four months pregnant who raised- my dad who raised me. And he just went for it. Didn’t even question like, Oh, she’s pregnant. And he just decided he was going to raise me. Like, okay, what a great person, right? I cannot believe it. So when I found out my mom’s cousin had been tracking my biological father for all these years, he was in prison. He had done drugs. He had done some child abuse to my younger sibling, who’s my half sibling. And so he was in prison. And I wrote him a letter kind of saying like, hey, this is who I am. I’d like to just get to know you. You know, who you are, basically. And I was in church one Sunday. I hadn’t heard back. It had been like two months. And I said, okay, you know, I’m just going to write this letter saying goodbye, because clearly he doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s okay. I kind of already accepted it. So I heard, like, something tell me he does not know what love is. And I’m a firm believer in God and I feel like it was God telling me he does not know what love is. The next day I went to mail this letter and I had created a P.O. Box because I was kind of scared, like, he’s in prison. You know, I don’t know what he’s about. I don’t want him having my actual address. And there was a letter from him. And the first sentence was, I’m sorry. I don’t know what love is. I was never taught love. Because he was grown up in an abusive home. And we’re in touch to this day. I mean, he just came to Thanksgiving with my family.

Chris [00:19:35] Your dad was in prison.

Caller [00:19:37] He was in prison. He’s been out for three or four years. He’s met my kids. He’s clean now. His brother, so my uncle, we have a relationship. And they just- he just came, my biological father came to Thanksgiving with my family, who lives in my home, and my mother in law and my sister who I was raised with. And yeah, it wasn’t weird at all. It’s just crazy how life happens. And, you know, my big thing is I- he’s, he’s alone. He doesn’t have any of his immediate family alive anymore. His kids who are alive don’t like him because of all the shit he did while they were growing up. And I feel like I didn’t have to experience that because I was raised in a great family until my mom started drinking. So I just want to give him the kindness and the grace that he probably has never gotten in his life.

Chris [00:20:28] Damn. That’s a real level of forgiveness right there. And understanding and compassion.

Caller [00:20:35] That’s why, you know, that’s how we’re supposed to be. I think. You never, you know, I just I live by I’m not one to judge, so I think it’s easier because I didn’t have to grow up with him. I think if I had grown up with him, it would have been a lot harder. But… My kids love him. I would never leave them with him alone. But he’s there for me when I need him. So I kind of have two dads now. And my my dad who raised me, we didn’t talk for a couple of years, but we have came around full circle and he’s okay with it. And they even- I was on facetime with my dad who raised me and he said hi to my biological dad, which I kind of just put them on the spot and they’re like, Oh, hey. So that was probably awkward for them. But yeah, it’s just all kind of worked out now.

Chris [00:21:24] So let me ask you this. Because you’ve meant, you know, you had your mom. Your mom fell into some real chaos. Your mom slept with your boyfriend. Your mom took her own life. Your dad, who raised you, you find out is not your biological father. This is a shock to you. Now you’re in touch with your biological father. He’s in prison for some really, it sounds like not pleasant things. I got to ask, like I say this was with genuine curiosity and no judgment at all, because I’m somebody who my mom and dad are still married and I’m very, very lucky. But pretty simple as far as like the nuclear family goes. And I sit here and think about how to raise a toddler and I’m scared every day and I feel like I don’t know how it works. And I put pressure on myself and it messes with me more than I can explain. And I had it pretty stable growing up, and an example from my parents that I can really lean on. You’re a parent now. Two young ones. You’ve had a pretty, pretty tumultuous path to get there. It makes it makes me wonder, thinking about your past, how you view parenting. My feeling is like, maybe you’re like me where all that anxiety’s there. Or maybe you’ve seen and done so much stuff that you’re just like ten times more at ease parenting than I am. But I really wonder how you feel about that side of things.

Caller [00:22:55] So I think that kind of our generation as a whole, we’re more aware. Because I’ve had conversations with my dad, like, Were you worried about this? We’re you worried about that? And he’s like, No. I’m like, okay, well, I’m worried about everything. My parents didn’t start fighting in front of me until I was 15 or 16. So I have two younger siblings. They have a lot more issues than me because they were so much younger when everything started to happen. But growing up, my mom was the best mom ever. Everything was a big deal. Birthdays, Christmas. Like she always made you feel so special. So I really just kind of hone on, hone in to the positives of her. My marriage isn’t perfect. We’re constantly struggling. My husband has his own mental health issues, severe OCD, which is a whole nother battle on its own. But he, my husband, has OCD, like severe OCD. So it’s a constant battle. And it’s like when you have two kids and then I essentially feel like I’m taking care of him all the time. It’s hard, but I don’t I think all parents always are worrying if they’re good enough. But when you hear your kids say that they love you or my daughter draws pictures of me and her at school, you know, you just you know you’re doing right. I’m far from perfect. But I think my mom, all the bad aside, she really taught me how to be a great a great parent. My dad worked a lot, so he wasn’t really around much. So all my credit goes to my mom, even though she did some really messed up stuff. When she passed, her and I were on really good terms. So thankfully, I don’t have to live with any of that guilt or um…

Chris [00:24:40] I have to ask now, now, you know, we have the live crowd so people can send along comments and thoughts. And first of all, just so you know, a lot of people here in the crowd tonight wishing you the best, sending their condolences for a lot of the loss you’ve laid out. But Katie in the crowd said something that I’m in total agreement with. The fact that you’ve laid out that you’re- because I’m not wrong in this, right? You said your mom slept with your boy- you said friends, and then you said your boyfriend?

Caller [00:25:09] Yes. So it was a secret relationship that because my mom didn’t want us to be together. And looking back, I see why she didn’t want us to be together. So I think in the beginning he was focused on me, and then my mom kind of started- anybody that I showed any interest in, she started to mess around with them. So she was arrested twice when I was in high school. The first time was on my birthday and I didn’t find out until- so my birthday’s in March and then the second time was in May. I didn’t find out until May, the second time, that she was arrested on my birthday. And again, it’s a small town. My dad knows people. On my birthday they let her out for public intoxication. And then the second time, she was pulled over outside of city limits. So she was in jail and my dad had to go out. And that kind of all hit me. And I said, get her out of the house. She needs to go. Like she needs to solve her alcohol problems, like she has some serious issues. And it took me a really long time to forgive her because I had all these, all these school plans after graduation, because that was my senior year of high school. And I put all those on hold so I could stay home with my family and help with my sisters. And my dad just let her back in the house like it was not a big deal at all. So I actually ended up reading this book called The Shack. I don’t know who it’s by, but it’s all about God and forgiveness. And after I read that book, I forgave both of them. And I slowly and surely started to build a relationship, a relationship back with my mom. And it was hard. I never thought- I hated her.

Chris [00:26:52] I have to say- and again, I am not confused by it. Everything you’ve laid out is so clear and so beautiful. But for me to say, you know, how do you feel about parenting? And your answer to be like, well, my mom was an incredible mom. And you’re focusing on the years when she was, and you’re able to in the same breath then go, Yeah, here’s the story with how she used to hit on my boyfriends. I had a secret relationship. She got with that guy. She was getting arrested, and I had to put my dreams on pause to stay in the house, to look after my siblings. But at the same time, you can also be totally meaningful. Katie on on Twitter sent me a message that said, Her compassion is astonishing. And I think that that is totally true. And wants to know where do you feel your grace under pressure first came from?

Caller [00:27:39] Honestly, I. I don’t know. Just a higher power. I again, I believe in God. I know that all don’t. But it wasn’t me. And that’s what’s just crazy is that this book about this book, The Shack, talks about the Holy Spirit, Jesus and God all in one. And it’s all about forgiveness because this guy is at the park with his two kids, one of his kids gets stolen and is murdered, and he has to learn to forgive this person. And so my my story is totally different than what he experienced. But, you know, life’s too short not to forgive. As hard as it is, I mean, and it’s hard. It was not easy. It took me years to forgive her, but I’m so happy I did because she was struggling. And I think when people hurt, they hurt others and they don’t mean to, especially when alcohol and drugs are involved. It just gets rocky and rough. And so I, I don’t do drugs. I try to stay away from alcohol. And if I do drink, it’s like one or two drinks because I don’t ever want to be that person to my spouse or my kids. Because my mom did a lot of damage and my sisters are still dealing with it because they just they won’t face it. They won’t face the reality of what happened.

Chris [00:28:54] Just so you know, Ashley says, Girl is the most calm and collected human ever and has lived through eight lifetimes of trauma. And then Jenna asks a question that, you know, it’s kind of the TMZ side of things, especially in the face of such a beautiful message that you just laid out. But I am I am very tempted and I need to know the answer as well. Jenna asks, What’s that ex you got with your mom up to now?

Caller [00:29:20] So he is actually married with two kids. That’s all I know. He was older than me and his brother and I graduated in the same class. So every once in a while I kind of peep in to see what he’s doing, but pisses me off, to be honest, more than anything else, that he’s living this happy life. But whatever. It’s okay.

Chris [00:29:41] You’ll hit up Facebook to see his happy life and be like, Fuck this dude. This fucking guy got with my moom.

Caller [00:29:47] She should know what he did. So let me say, my cousin who- so my dad who raised me, his sister’s son had an affair with my mom, and that is one person I don’t think I will ever find grace for. I haven’t been to a family Christmas with him since my mom passed. After she passed, he sent me a message the day after her funeral and said I needed to get my shit together and put on my big girl pants and be the woman figure for my family. And he, to this day, does not know that we know he slept with my mom. So this Christmas is my first year being back- my mom passed away in 2013- to actually spend Christmas with my family. I will not be spending the Christmas part with him because I will lose it on him and I will probably fight him. And it will cause a lot of drama. I will never be able to forgive him.

Chris [00:30:49] Can you even like are you even entertained by movies or TV shows? Like, is there any drama or action movie that you watch?

Caller [00:30:57] Yes! I love drama shows.

Chris [00:30:59] No way. I feel like you must watch all of them and be like, where is the conflict here? Like, where’s? I don’t get why these people aren’t struggling through anything right now.

Caller [00:31:10] That’s why, you know, I try to share my story as much as possible because I think most people can relate on some aspect. Like, there’s so many parts and I don’t really understand why all of this happened to me, but it did. So I just try to share what I can to hopefully help somebody along the way.

Chris [00:31:26] I mean, I’ve never been- no, I’ve never had a Belgian muay thai fighter buy me a pillow. You know? I’ve never had that happen.

Caller [00:31:35] Yeah, I mean, Thailand was great. Let me just say, Italy- I was in Thailand for nine months. I completely healed, moved to Italy, um found this girl who went to the same college as me the same time. We never knew each other. If I was a lesbian, I would be married to her. She is my soulmate. I love her so much. And the three months of Italy, it was the best, most fun time of my entire life. I met ten different girls from all over the country and to this day we stay in contact. And that’s when I really just kind of became me again and knew what was important in life. And till this day, even when things are bad, like in marriage or at work, I always try to focus back in on that happy me I found in Italy. And that’s what’s important because life is too short to not focus on the happy parts.

Chris [00:32:24] I got to- I have to learn a lot from you. I get stressed out by literally nothing. I get stressed out by nothing. I sit here and build myself into full blown panic attacks. And I don’t throw that phrase around lightly. Sit here going, what if I someday lose my health insurance? Because I have it right now. Meanwhile, you’re like, No, just take off to Italy. Meet a crew of ten women who are your sisterhood. Lean on them forever. And any time you go to a dark place, remember who you were in those moments. Also, your dad’s out of jail, so reconnect. Why not?

Caller [00:32:59] It’s not as easy as you just said it, though, you know? Like there’s still struggles.

Chris [00:33:03] The goddamn bullet points are the most impressive thing I’ve ever heard. I know that this is a long tale and has had many ups and downs. But just the bullet points that you’re laying out are like the most beautiful tale of resilience that I’ve ever heard in my life.

Caller [00:33:18] Thank you, Chris. I appreciate it.

Chris [00:33:20] Thank you. I’ve done nothing except sit on a stool and listen to this. Wow. Okay. Very important question that has come up in the crowd from Matthew. How did you meet your current partner? Because that. Because now. And listen. Like we’re both parents of, you said a four year old and a two year old?

Caller [00:33:41] A four year old and a one year old. I don’t know why I said he was two. Because he just turned one. I think I was just nervous.

Chris [00:33:47] That’s okay. How dare you? That’s so fucked up! I’m going to hang up on you. You got- you got your child’s up by one. But it is, I will stay like I used to be pretty cool, man. And like, this jacket is from when I was cool. And it does not fit my personality. I’m wearing like a pink denim jacket on stage because it makes me feel confident. But it’s from it’s from like five or six years ago when I used to be cool and live a cool life. When you’re the parent of a toddler, like, life is not exciting. I imagine for you being in a settled life, there must be such joy in that. But I also have to wonder, how did you meet a partner? How did you settle down after this very, very tumultuous existence? …That’s a big question, right? At the end of the day, that’s what this show is. We all are out here live in this tumultuous existence. We gotta figure out how to find our partners and our friends and our allies in the process. We’ll find out how this caller did it when we return… Okay, everybody, we are back. And I wanted to give you a heads up. Had a few technical issues out there on the road. Very unpredictable when you’re out there on the road. So guess what? I sound a little weird for the last few minutes of the call. Okay, excuse the sound issues. Let’s finish up the phone call… When you’re the parent of a toddler, like life is not exciting. I imagine for you, being in a settled life, there must be such joy in that. But I also have to wonder, how did you meet a partner? How did you settle down after this very, very tumultuous existence?

Caller [00:35:16] So I moved back to the States and my plan was I was never, ever going to live here long term again. So I moved back in with my dad, started waitressing, and then I found this job. It stated it was in Texas, it was for roof sales. So know like the jobs you see on Indeed like make $300,000 in your first year. And I knew that wasn’t true, but I was like, well, what do I have to lose? Nothing. So they flew me to Minnesota. I was in training with four or five guys. The trainer guy, the owner of the roof sales company, wouldn’t even make eye contact with me. It was really frustrating because I’m a people person. So I can sell things, you know, like I can connect with people. I’m great at this. And he like had no faith in me. So we did the training. They ended up pairing us, some people off to different areas of wherever the storms were. And the first day there I needed a ride because everyone else was from Minnesota and I wasn’t. So I had flown in and this guy said, Oh, I’ll give you a ride. And so the next couple of days he gives me rides, he gives me a ride to the airport. And I was like, Oh, you know, this guy’s cool. I’m not looking for anything. I’m trying to move back overseas, but he’s nice. They ended up pairing us to go to North Dakota together. So within the first week or two, I was like, I really like him. I don’t really like people very often, especially after everything I’ve gone through. I don’t have time for that. I don’t have time for drama. And I told him because he was about to leave to go back.

Chris [00:36:53] I just need to agree and say you do not have time for drama. Like the drama clock ran out for you very early in your life. Yes. True. Agreed.

Caller [00:37:04] So he was like, I’m going to go back to Minnesota. I’m not doing this. And so I was like, Well, I think I like you. And he said, Oh, as a friend? I said, No, not as a friend. As more than a friend. And he said, okay, well, I think I like you, too. And then we hugged and he got in his car left. And so about an hour later, he called me and said, I can’t leave. I’m turning around. And we’ve been together ever since. The first year or two was great. Again, he has mental illness. It’s really hard to cope with somebody who has it. So I’m still fighting. I’m still trying to… hope that he finds his way. And I think he will. It’s just he needs a lot of push. He’s been through a lot of traumas as well. So we got married shortly, maybe a year later. And then we had our daughter and I told him, I hate Minnesota. I’m sorry if any of y’all are from Minnesota, but it sucks. It’s terrible. It’s not the South. And I’m not I’m not a fan. Nobody would be friends with me and I have made friends all over the world. It just really hurt my feelings. So we came back to Texas and we’ve been here since.

Chris [00:38:10] Wow, a stunning condemnation of Minnesota. You just expressed more anger at Minnesota than the boyfriend who slept with your mom. You’ve forgiven him more than the state of Minnesota.

Caller [00:38:21] Yes, because let me just say, my in-laws are the best people ever. I love them. And if anything ever happened with me and my husband, we would still- they would be my life forever because they’re amazing. But I could not make friends with anybody. The only two friends, we lived there for two years, only two friends I made were from California and Wisconsin. No Minnesotans wanted to be friends with me.

Chris [00:38:43] I think I speak for this crowd when I say there is an unresolved anger here that is shocking considering the amount of resolution you have bulldozed your way through in life. It’s shocking. I mean, we are 36 minutes into one of the darkest stories I’ve heard in close to 300 episodes of doing this. You have expressed anger over nothing except the lack of friendliness in Minnesota, a place where I have been many times and found people to actually be overly friendly to a degree that makes me uncomfortable.

Caller [00:39:16] Chris. It’s called Minnesota Nice. They don’t want to be friends with you. They’re just being nice to you because they have to, because they’re so passive. And my husband hates Texas. He hates it. He’s like, You guys are so blunt. I can’t stand it. I’m like, That’s what makes us great. Like, we’re not fake. If we don’t like you, you’re going to know we don’t like you. And he’s like, No, I’m not about that. I hate it. So Minnesotans just want everybody to think they like them and then they kind of talk about you behid your back.

Chris [00:39:42] I am not the only one. I am hearing the reactions of the crowd. All of us were looking at you as like the high water mark, paragon of forgiveness, finding ways to move on from the things that trouble you in life. And yet the venomous slander of the land of a thousand lakes is so real and so unresolved. And I just hope you can get over it someday. You got to read that book about the Holy Spirit again.

Caller [00:40:11] Yeah, I don’t know. I mean, be nice to me, my friend. It’s not that hard. I mean, after maternity leave, I’d go into Target, you know, just trying to chat up the cashier because I’m alone and bored, and I have this two month old baby, and I haven’t been out of the house because it’s the dead of winter… And I would try to make small talk and they would look like they would look at me like I was an idiot.

Chris [00:40:35] Have you ever been to New Jersey or New York City?

Caller [00:40:39] I have. And I couldn’t. I mean, I just I don’t know if I could do it. But I’ve lived in Thailand and Italy. I mean, come on. Those are crazy culture shocks. And I can make friends with them.

Chris [00:40:50] If you need to live in a place where like people make friends with you and cashiers slow down to have talks, skip Jersey. Just skip Jersey. You would hate it so much. You would hate it so much.

Caller [00:41:03] Yeah, I think I’m going to stay with the south. My my friendly people down here who they meet you once and invite you over for dinner.

Chris [00:41:09] What about other people who are like, stop chat-in Jersey, here’s what would happen in Jersey. Everyone behind you would be like, Stop talking to the cashier, we got shit to do and places to be. And it would just be a nightmare. It would be a nightmare.

Caller [00:41:23] I would just walk away and feel really uncomfortable.

Chris [00:41:26] It’s fair.

Caller [00:41:27] I don’t really- I confront people, but only when I’m really passionate about something. Like at work, when I don’t agree with something, I’m very vocal, but I always try to be respectful because I’m in HR. So, I mean, I’m vocal, but if it’s something small, I’m not going to argue about it. Unless I’m really passionate.

Chris [00:41:47] Caller, there’s some really shocking stuff coming in on the hashtag right now. Christopher says, Caller is totally right. Minnesota is just a humid, giant, mosquito ridden hellhole.

Caller [00:42:03] Yeah. Thank you.

Chris [00:42:05] Now, Erin brings something up. Erin Kate says ten bucks says there’s someone here tonight from Minnesota. Clap if you’re from Minnesota. Oh, yeah. There’s a few furious Minnesotans here tonight. Ma’am, you were just clapping. So how do you feel about this caller’s shocking accusations? I heard one quiet boo from the back and everyone else from Minnesota was too polite to get involved. Jenae is coming to their defense. Jenae is saying, The worst thing Minnesotans do is like chain restaurants. Give them a break. Mike says, Wow, if this is true about Minnesota, all of Canada is the worst.

Caller [00:42:49] One of my friends from Italy was from Canada, so… and she was great.

Chris [00:42:54] Kelly agreeing with you. Everyone- this Minnesota thing is exploding. Randy says, The caller has finally found her boundary and it is fucking Minnesota. Oh my god. So many Minnesota comments. Shiani might be from Minnesota. Put in caps, TEJAS ISN’T THAT NICE EITHER. Katie Farrely asks me, Chris, why do you know every slate slogan? Touche. Point taken. And goulie spooklier says, I guess don’t move to Colorado. We’re nice to everyone. Caller, who knew that that was going to be one of the most turbo charged parts? I’m really thrilled that you landed on your feet and I’m really glad that those kids got a mom like you. I feel like you’re going to make sure that there’s a tight ship for them and that they got a good, stable life.

Caller [00:43:48] Yeah, that’s my goal, for sure.

Chris [00:43:50] Oh, no. I’m about to get you really mad.

Caller [00:43:52] Oh, no.

Chris [00:43:52] Denver. Clap if you agree with me. If someone said to you based on accent is the person we’re talking to from Minnesota or Texas, if those were my options, the majority of us would guess that you are from Minnesota. You!

Caller [00:44:08] Me? No, no. I think it’s because I’ve lost my accent. So when I met my husband, he said, You sound like you’re definitely from Texas. My family, super, super Southern accents. I think mine has- I think I’ve lost it. I am definitely not from Minnesota. I am born in Kansas, even though I do not claim Kansas. If you ask my husband, he’s going to say she is Kansan, Kansan or whatever you call it. No, I’m a Texan. I don’t care that I wasn’t born there. I am a Texan.

Chris [00:44:41] I love Texas to death. I mean, from episode one of this show, everybody knows that Texas is. Texas is a shockingly strange and and in many ways wonderful place. Although I do have to say, as I’m giving big ups to Texas, here’s what I love about Texas. I love the art that comes out of Texas. I love that you can drive for a very long time in Texas and not see a chain restaurant. I love that there’s times where you’ll drive for hours in Texas and then all of a sudden realize you’re like in the middle of a small town that has a general store that still has like a Seven Up sign from the 1960s hanging out front. I love that. Do have to just say before I get too into Texas that there’s also a lot of concerning social stuff there right now. And and I don’t know how you feel about it. And I don’t often go political on the show, but I can’t sit here and say how much I love Texas without also saying that it’s breaking my heart to see rights and women’s rights being taken away. And I just need that out for my own sanity.

Caller [00:45:46] Yeah, there’s definitely some weird shit happening here. You know, I… I personally would never get an abortion, but at the end of the day, it’s your choice, and it’s not our place to decide what somebody does. So we’re very conservative here, and my family is extremely conservative. So when I moved down south to go to school, I took a culture class, and went back home for Christmas, was telling my dad about it, and he said, I can’t believe I’m paying for you to go to a liberal school. I’m like, What are you talking about? So my family totally thinks I’m super liberal. To be honest, I’m in, I’m in-between on most things. But my- you just don’t ever want to be at Christmas with my family because all they talk about is politics and it’s extremely annoying.

Chris [00:46:37] We have it here. Deanna Alyse said, She sounds like a Texan to me, a person who was also born in Texas. My mom sounds just like her. So there’s that. Now, Chainsaw Travis disagrees. Chainsaw Travis, who contributes rarely but with great impact, says, and I quote, She be talking like the movie Fargo. That’s what Chainsaw Travis said. She be talking like the movie Fargo. Now Justine is here from Dallas, just wants you to know another Texan has your back. And then I didn’t know I don’t know if this is true or if this is just somebody messing with me. Too Fucking Bad Tuesday, that’s your name on Twitter, says, People from Colorado fucking hate Texans. Is there a feud? Who knew that I walked into the middle of a regional feud. Caller, did you know that there’s a feud between Coloradans and Texans?

Caller [00:47:37] No, I did not. But my aunt does live in Colorado and she she is not a fan of y’all. So I’m sorry. But I love Colorado, and I’ve never had a problem with the people.

Chris [00:47:48] I’ve had some great times in Colorado. I remember one time being here and doing shows and having a whole day to kill and and not knowing how to kill the day. And I’m someone who imbibes in substances once every eight years and edibles had just been legalized here. Cannabis has just been legalized. And I ate like a third of a pot cookie and watched a Star Wars movie in the theater many years ago. And what a fond memory that is. Thank you, Colorado. Thank you for that one. Okay, we’ve gotten way off track.

Caller [00:48:23] So we went to see Bruno Mars in Colorado at Red Rock. This is probably two years before my mom passed. And right when we got legalized there, me and my mom and my dad, after my sisters who are way younger went to bed, got super stoned in my car- in my dad’s car. And it was the funniest thing I’ve ever experienced, because my dad is a psycho when he smokes. The whole time sitting in the car, just because the car was on, we were listening to music, he was so scared that the police were coming to put us in jail and the girls were going to wake up without anybody in the hotel to take care of them. It was so crazy.

Chris [00:49:07] First of all, it’s a very funny image and I feel like this entire crowd can envision a car of non Coloradans getting paranoid and high after getting high at Red Rocks, which I feel like probably happens every time there’s a concert at Red Rocks. That some people from out of state just get all fucked up and call the police on themselves cuz they don’t realize how strong the weed is going to be because it’s legal now and just get on the phone with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 is like, it’s weed. Just stop. But here’s something that jumps out at me. You know, you hear the story of what happened with your mom, and you made it clear- you made it clear in such a beautiful way before, like those first 15, 16 years, she was a great mom. And actually, a lot of how you aim to be a mom, you’ve taken from that. Hear about how you and your dad lost touch for years, had to mend that fence. And you think of it where you could tell that story and we go, well, that’s the story of this person who had this family life that these hard times, and it fell apart. But then you also realize, oh, but then you still have that hilarious memory of you got old enough and your parents were smokers, and you guys got high together one time. And you have that hilarious memory. And that memory is just as real as all the awful stuff, you know?

Caller [00:50:23] Cause it’s just easier to focus on the good stuff. And I will say, like, the rest of my family, they won’t talk about the hard times at all. Like my sister, my middle sister- I have a sister who’s four years younger and the one that’s six years younger. My middle sister, probably ten months after my mom killed herself, which let me just say, committed suicide, is like not the term. So if y’all have ever used it, don’t say it. It’s not politically correct. So my sister tried. And I was at work and my dad called me and said, you know, your sister is on the way to the hospital. She’s in the ambulance. We don’t know if she’s okay. She was slurring her words, whatever. So I had to go take care of her for probably two or three weeks. And I was the only one that could connect with her. She had taken a whole bottle of ibuprofen. She probably weighed 100 pounds. And she’s okay now, but, you know, two months later, when I found out about my dad not being my actual dad, she didn’t talk to me for years. You know, even after I was the one that was there for her. So it’s just very interesting how everybody handles PTSD and trauma and everything that comes along with suicide and just life in general.

Chris [00:51:41] I agree with all of that. And I hear you. And I hate hearing that your sister went down that road, too. I will say, I think one of our attendees here tonight did get to the bottom of your accent. Someone, I think, really nailed your accent. Do you want to hear it? From OKScott, who I think now that okay, so now that I’m reading this, I’m like, that is exactly what it is. Her accent is a classic Texan moved to Thailand, spent time with a Belgian, spent time in Italy, and moved back to the states. That’s your accent. Now, Caller, there’s a bunch of comments coming in right now- oh, first of all, people are saying there’s other terms that are okay, like lost their fight or took their lives, but phrases like committed suicide and killed themselves tend not to help. Katie, thank you for clarifying. There’s a few people asking uh there’s two questions or versions I see coming up a bunch. A lot of people want to know if you have had any professional therapy to help your healing or anything akin to it. Also a lot of people asking if any of these people in your life who you’ve mentioned have apologized to you for some of their stuff in the past, and those are kind of companion thoughts. So I wanted to put them out here because ultimately I think there’s a lot of people who want to know more about the healing, some of the other people along the way, if they’ve apologized, some of the other actions you’ve taken, if there’s been any. So I wanted to put those out there. We only got 10 minutes left.

Caller [00:53:11] So when I was in high school when my mom started doing all these things, they tried to get me in therapy and I said, Hell no. I will- that is so stupid. Like, I’m not talking to somebody else. I was so against it. And then after she passed, my little sister’s friend’s mom brought a therapist to our house and my dad said, We’re all meeting with this person. Except for your sisters- your sister, who her friend is the one who brought this. She doesn’t want to. And so I said, Fine. I’ll do this. I’m wearing my sunglasses. I’m not looking at her. I don’t want her to speak to me. But I’ll sit here. So we’re sitting there, she’s talking to my dad, she’s talking to my baby sister, and she looks at me and she says, So, you know, (BLEEP) sorry- I said my name. I’m so sorry.

Chris [00:53:59] 8:45 we will bleep the name and we will all magically forget it here in Denver.

Caller [00:54:05] I’ve tried so hard. Oh my gosh. Anyways, she said, You know, I have been through something like this. My mom tried to do this many years ago and she failed and she lived to be so old and I never forgave her. And I said, I said, that’s not the same at all. So for a long time I was really, really against therapy. And then I moved and I went to school and I, I realized I needed help. Because I was getting really suicidal, especially after finding out all my dad stuff. And I went, I saw a therapist for probably a year and a half. I got on medication, several medications, because one medication made me even worse and really, really ended up almost me taking my life. And I stopped taking that and I found the one that worked for me. And now the only time I’ve really ever had to be back on medication, probably after a year of taking it continuously, is after having my kids because I had really bad postpartum depression. My dad said sorry. A lot of his family members haven’t and they won’t. But, you know, I’m okay with that. And Thailand was a huge part of my healing as well.

Chris [00:55:16] If you had to sum up why Thailand is a healing place in you know, we only have 7 minutes. So I guess just in like a brief summation, why is why was Thailand- how did Thailand do the trick?

Caller [00:55:34] Because I had to face it all head on. I mean, I had one really good friend there who was actually from Minnesota, and she lived 2 hours away from me. So we didn’t get to see each other often and I was in a very, very small village. And I went to school, taught my kids and came home. And I mean, it was my mission being there to really work through my my shit. So everything that I wanted to go through and work through, I wrote it down, and I just faced it head on. And I moved there in the fall. I remember New Year’s we went to the coast, to the beach areas, and I had wrote letters to everybody who had ever hurt me. And I put them in a bottle and I threw- I threw them in the ocean. And as cliche as it sounds, it kind of just like released me of everything. And then I slowly but surely just started feeling like myself again. Because there were so many months where I was just crying in bed and just really feeling everything that I had gone through. Because for so long I was just kind of numb because I was drinking a lot and not dealing with my pain. So it’s just really important to deal with everything you go through because it’s going to come back up. And the longer you wait, the worse it’s going to get.

Chris [00:56:46] And how about the uh we covered therapy. How about the apol- have you gotten any sweet apologies or are there some unresolved ones floating out? We’ve heard that you still- that you don’t like that’s uh the ex who dabbled with your mom. That’s still out there. That’s a sore point. You got that one relative who said some shitty stuff and you can’t be around family gatherings because of them. Any any apologies come your way? Any resolutions that felt like they closed some loops?

Caller [00:57:14] So for that relative, no. And honestly, I will not put myself in a situation where I see him again just because I think that something will happen to him. Because he’s he gets very suicidal around the whole the whole thing that happened with my mom. So I will never put myself in that situation because I’m not going to be able to control myself. My ex, we actually started talking again after I forgave them. It’s disgusting. I can’t believe I ever would do that. But when you’re young and your first love, you know, you just do things. And he ended up he ended up forgive for- saying sorry. A couple of weeks after us talking. And then it just kind of went away because, you know, everything that happened, I just couldn’t deal with it. He owned up for everything, and I think he realized what he did was wrong. But I don’t know if that’s like some fantasy of young men being with older women, but there were probably ten guys that I went to school with that slept with my mom, um, that I was pretty close with.

Chris [00:58:21] Ten guys you went to school with?

Caller [00:58:22] Yeah. There was one time I walked in to my house and she was making out with this guy in my grade that… There they were. And then he just kind of saw me and left. Like it was nothing.

Chris [00:58:35] That is- so that’s like- I mean, that is truly- that is, you know, that is, that is really dark. That is just.

Caller [00:58:43] It’s fucked up. Sorry Sally.

Chris [00:58:44] No, it’s true. And it’s addictive, and it’s self-destructive and it’s destructive for you. And clearly all these guy, you know, all these and all those guys who are like excited in the moment are also kids. It’s messed up for them. That’s that is so dark. That is so dark. But I tell you what, we got a couple of minutes left. I want to make sure I get some of the some of these reactions, because there’s a few things coming in that I, I want to make sure you hear. First of all, BeatsBeatsBeatsBeats says, Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You are an inspiration. We have NeverStray saying, Shout out to the caller’s kids keeping themselves occupied for an hour without interrupting is impressive. We have Denise. Denise, who says, This is the power of positive thinking. And I’ll say that one that’s really jumping out to me, someone who has said some really silly things tonight and has made me giggle, Chainsaw Travis. Chainsaw Travis, the same person who said she be talking like she from Fargo, is also the same person who said, We’re glad you’re still here. So I think that’s-.

Caller [00:59:59] Thank you. That means a lot because there’s been days where I don’t know if I would have made it. But now that I have kids, as much as I struggle sometimes, I know how it feels. And they’re your babies. You just can’t do it. And that’s what makes me really think my mom, she was completely wasted. She was like four times over the legal limit when she did it. And there’s no way she would have done it, I think, if she was sober. So. Because how do you leave your kids behind? You know, Chris? You struggle. I mean, how could you ever leave your son behind? This little precious baby? I mean, you couldn’t.

Chris [01:00:35] Ooh. What a question to throw at me at the tail end. But I uh I tell you, I think about it all the time. Not to get too dark on a personal level, but it’s like I’ve worked my whole life to chase certain thoughts away and to regulate certain thoughts, but… They don’t just turn off now that my son’s here. That’s not how life works. And actually it would be incredibly unfair to him to pretend that that is how it works. But what does happen is it makes me want to work like a thousand times harder to chase them away, because any time I have a thought like that, now I just go, Oh man, there’s so much cool shit I would miss. So it really is rooted in sickness and like you said, a lack of sobriety and something being really irreparably damaged. And here you to be able to say that when you lived through it is really, really impactful. And yeah, I’m with you.

Caller [01:01:36] Yeah. And just be honest with him. I’m. I’m honest with my daughter. I tell her my mom, she was sad and she had sickness in her brain. When she gets older, I’ll explain. But she knows something was wrong with her, even though she’s only four. Because I think it’s important. We’re the generation that can make mental illness, you know, a little more normal than it has been in the past.

Chris [01:01:58] I think about that a lot. I was just writing a thing where I said, you know, we’re the we’re kind of the first age group that’s been open about this, so we’re also the first age group of parents that are going to raise our kids being open about it. And that’s daunting and scary. And I don’t know how and I’m learning from you, and I thank you for it. I’m learning from you a lot about that, honestly. One on one, without- even if nobody was in here, it would be hitting me hard. Because I think about it all the time. Now we got- we got two closing thoughts that I want to put out here. OKScott, very important question that I’m mad at myself I didn’t ask. You have lived in Italy. You have lived in Thailand. Two lands known for noodle dishes. Better noodles, Italy or Thailand?

Caller [01:02:43] Oh, um… Italy.

Chris [01:02:46] Wow. Okay. Controversial. Rumblings in the crowd? Rumblings. Some cheers. Some rumbles. Divisive. And I do want to just say to first of all, our time is up. We have hit zero on the clock. Caller, you have been so incredible. What a story that is dark and harsh, but at the same time uplifting and inspirational and very, very real. And I thank you for sharing it because I can’t imagine it gets easier to share any time to share the story. So thanks for trusting it with me and these people here tonight. And I do want to- and I think this will make you laugh- Alison, who may be the first comment you’ve left today, I’m not sure- said, She’s so understanding. When her kids are teens, the only way for them to rebel will be to say they want to go to the University of Minnesota.

Caller [01:03:35] That’s awesome. And probably true.

Chris [01:03:38] Caller, thank you so much. That was that was a- I will not soon forget that one. Thank you so much.

Caller [01:03:43] Thank you.

Chris [01:03:44] A round of applause for our caller, everybody… Caller, thanks again for being so open, being so honest, sharing so much. Very cool of you. Thank you to Andrea Quinn for taking the trip on the road with me. Thanks to Anita Flores for producing the show. Thanks to Marcus Hahm for engineering the show. Thank you to the Almighty ShellShag for the theme music. Want to know more about me, including live dates of when you can come see Beautiful/ Anonymous, go to ChrisGeth.com. There’s tickets on sale right now for lots of shows. Might be coming to your town. Go check. You want our swag, go to PodSwag.com. We got shirts and mugs and all that stuff. Check out Stitcher Premium if you want ad free episodes of the show. Thanks for listening, everybody.