Michael Swaim

Michael Swaim is a writer, actor, editor, rapper, producer, director, stand-up and sketch comedian, quesadilla eater, enthusiastic if unfocused lovemaker, and Content Manager of Cracked.com, because the higher you ascend up the corporate ladder, the vaguer-sounding your job title becomes. He hopes to one day claw his way to the vaunted position of Executive Person. Michael will be survived by his loving wife and 2.4 children, and his Tennessee bloodhound, Flip.

Guest Appearances

15 Real Science Stories That Would Make Great Sci-Fi Movies

The Cracked Podcast #203September 18, 2017

If you're a movie fan in 2017, you're hard pressed to find many original sci-fi films. There are a lot more Alien: Covenants and Blade Runner: 2 0 49s than Ex Machinas. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just sometimes sci-fi fans…

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11 Under-the-Radar Comics That Ought To Be Amazing Movies

The Cracked Podcast #202September 11, 2017

Another summer in the books, another summer of somewhat pleasing comic book movies. Wonder Woman was good! So was Spiderman! Guardians of the Galaxy was...a movie! What's next? Oh no. Don't say it.  Justice League. [cue the sound of failure from The…

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20 Unheralded Geniuses Who Basically Invented Modern Movies

For many people, filmmaking begins and ends with the director. We call it a director's medium. It's their vision that guides the entire production and it's their name that gets the praise when a movie is good, and gets dragged through the…

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A Farewell To Cracked Editor-in-Chief Jack O'Brien

Serious Talk. It's Jack's last episode. After 11 years at Cracked, our intrepid editor-in-chief and podcast host extraordinaire Jack O'Brien is hanging up the cleats to tackle new projects, end world hunger and find the Zodiac killer. But that doesn't mean this…

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Humanity's Greatest Moments Brought to You By Drugs & Booze

Even though drugs and alcohol have been a social lubricant since before we could write anything down, we like to think of history as this boring, stuffy museum exhibit where kings and queens drank iced tea, ate flavorless biscuits and had sex…

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23 Convoluted Movie Schemes That Need A Second Look

The term 'movie magic' typically refers to the technical brilliance of bringing dinosaurs to life onscreen or how Denzel Washington can make an entire theatre of men and women pregnant with a single knowing glance. But there's a second type of movie…

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Commonplace Ideas Invented More Recently Than You Think

The Cracked Podcast #175April 10, 2017

Nowadays, there's a huge emphasis on eating natural foods. Staying away from GMOs, pesticides, and processed sugars is generally thought of as a good thing. Some call it the paleo diet and it's a way to harken back to a simpler time,…

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Why Modern People Might Have The Worst Sex Lives Ever

The Cracked Podcast #166February 14, 2017

When you think about ancient human history, you probably think about sex, right? Who doesn't? And when you do, you probably imagine in your head (because you love envisioning your eldest relatives gettin' down) a very bland, puritanical form of sex where…

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Jafar Is Disney Moses: Secretly Heroic Villains

The Cracked Podcast #165February 13, 2017

Did you ever notice how every movie villain is just really ugly beyond belief? Emperor Palpatine? WRINKLED UP UGGO. Jafar? POINTY FACE. Scar? LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIS FACIAL DEFORMITY. It's fucking dark when you think about how many movies this applies to;…

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Cracked Book Club: Kurt Vonnegut's Little-Known First Novel

The Cracked Podcast #149October 31, 2016

You're probably familiar with Kurt Vonnegut's required reading, or rather the Kurt Vonnegut books your high school English teacher required you to read. 'Slaughterhouse-Five,' 'Cat's Cradle,' and maybe 'Breakfast of Champions' were rays of satirical sunlight in your curriculum between long stretches…

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The Best Fictional Universe To Be a Corpse

The Cracked Podcast #135August 1, 2016

Congratulations! You've died in a fictional universe where the afterlife exists! How cool is that? Aren't you happy you're not in the Tarantino-verse? Instead of your soul escaping to the great unknown, you get to hang out and make pottery with Whoopi Goldberg,…

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Famous Sayings You Should Stop Listening To

If you know that the early bird gets the worm, I'm sure you also know to stop and smell the roses, that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and variety is the spice of life. Or maybe not, because those…

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Movies That'd Be Better From a Different POV

The Cracked Podcast #103January 4, 2016

Most disaster movies make cannon fodder out of almost every single living person on the planet who isn't a president, a fighter pilot, or the one scientist who has the key to solving the alien/meteor/whatever problem. What about the rest of us?…

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BONUS! Why All Your Favorite Movies Are About The Apocalypse

The Cracked Podcast #100December 13, 2015

From 'Mad Max' to 'San Andreas' to 'The Avengers,' the most popular movies of our times are about how we fear our world will end. We're obsessed with stories of drought, natural disaster, nuclear war, zombies, aliens and robots. We fear the…

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A Genealogy of Modern Fear

If you turn on the TV or scroll through Facebook for any short period of time, it seems like we're consumed with fear. There's always a new airborne virus or a new piece of legislature destined to sink the country into Purge-like…

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Tiny Cause, Huge Effect

The Cracked Podcast #63February 9, 2015

We've all heard about the butterfly effect: a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, and weeks later that results in a hurricane somewhere else. But that doesn't actually happen, right? We can't prove that a butterfly can affect…

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