EP. 200.5 — 200.5 Bonus: Two Hundred Things I’ve Learned From Beautiful/Anonymous

[00:00:06] CHRIS: Hi, everybody, it’s Chris Gethard. The music’s playing, but I’m not going to do the spiel because we’re doing something special today.

[00:00:19] THEME MUSIC: I’d rather go one-on-one. I think it would be more fun and I’d get to know you and you’d get to know me.

[00:00:29] CHRIS: Hi everybody, Chris Gethard here. And this is a little mini thing that we’re putting together as a thank-you to everyone who’s been supporting the show. 200 episodes! 200 episodes, which are– 200 episodes, and I just wanted to do something intimate and small to just say such a genuine thank-you. You know, for the 100th episode, we talked to a couple people, two different people who were 100 years old, and for the 200th episode, we said, “Well, we can’t find a 200-year-old person. What are we gonna do?” And then I thought about it. I was like, “You know, the show’s so intimate.” This show really feels like a connection between me and each individual caller.  When I go on the road and meet all the listeners, it feels like an intimate connection between me and each listener. And then you start to realize we’re all feeling that. And it feels like this web of people, this community. What a beautiful thing. It’s changed my life. So, what I decided to do was, just as a thank-you to the fans, here are 200 things I have learned or been very much reminded of via hosting Beautiful Anonymous.

[00:01:42] 1. People root for each other.

[00:01:46] 2. Many people in this world do not feel listened to.

[00:01:51] 3. Humans know how to survive some bad stuff.

[00:01:55] 4. The world is dark.

[00:01:58] 5. The world is harsh. 

[00:02:00] 6. The world is hilarious.

[00:02:02] 7. The world is filled with people who prioritize kindness. 

[00:02:07] 8. People want to help each other. 

[00:02:10] 9. People who have been through the worst stuff often have the best senses of humour. 

[00:02:15] 10. Saying stuff out loud can go a long way. 

[00:02:20] 11. Raccoons sometimes live in people’s homes. 

[00:02:24] 12. Donkeys can make good pets. 

[00:02:28] 13. People get very upset when you say you don’t love dogs. 

[00:02:32] 14. Middle-aged women are far more bad-ass than anyone gives them credit for. 

[00:02:39] 15. It is shocking how many women have experienced some form of sexual aggression. Shocking. That has– That is something I theoretically knew before the show; it has blown my mind how many callers have relayed that. It’s shocking. 

[00:02:56] 16. Men are way more willing to be vulnerable when it’s anonymous.

[00:03:01] 17. The need for toughness. That’s the most overrated quality expected, particularly, of American men. 

[00:03:07] 18. Out of all the hard things I’ve heard, nothing seems harder than losing a child. 

[00:03:15] 19. Moon Mist. Good flavour of Faygo. Had it in Detroit. It’s good. Moon Mist is good. 

[00:03:21] 20. The biggest demographic of people is probably people who don’t want to fit into a simple demographic of people. 

[00:03:29] 21. Apparently, I have a nice voice? I did not know that. I hate my voice. I’ve hated my voice my whole life. But a lot of you said I have a nice voice, which is very mind-blowing to me. 

[00:03:41] 22. Even in 2020, it seems like a lot of life comes down to work, sex, religion and family. 

[00:03:48] 23. Prisons are a scam! Listen to that follow-up with the prison-bound caller. Oh my God, prisons are messed up in their economic design. Horrible to people. Look into it. 

[00:04:03] 24. I can hate guns and other people can love guns and we can both be right at the same time. Those can coexist.

[00:04:12] 25. Sometimes all you need in this life is a crazy-ass goose laugh. 

[00:04:19] 26. Deaf people can listen to podcasts. 

[00:04:24] 27. Apparently, my best friend is an Australian guy I’ve never met in person. 

[00:04:31] 28. There’s a lot of people who want to sing in this world and they just gotta sing. 

[00:04:38] 29. I’ve learned that dying isn’t as scary as I used to think. 

[00:04:43] 30. Not living — that’s the scariest thing in the world. 

[00:04:48] 31. If we all had one friend as good as those Road Dogs, the world would be a happier place. 

[00:04:57] 32. I’ve learned that “Giraffe” is not a good nickname. 

[00:05:01] 33. It has been reiterated to me that my mom does not like cursing. 

[00:05:07] 34. My Aunt Karen does not like cursing. 

[00:05:11] 35. Learned it can be really tough to get a passport short notice. 

[00:05:16] 36. There are a lot of lonely people in this world. 

[00:05:20] 37. Most people still feel hope. 

[00:05:25] 38. When you say you don’t like dogs, a lot of people really immediately want to tell you what kind of dog you should get. 

[00:05:33] 39. Fans of phone calls are good huggers. 

[00:05:38] 40. People in Toronto are so nice they don’t even ask for their money back when a live call drops like eleven times.

[00:05:48] 41. There’s always at least one laugh to be found even inside the darkest subjects.

[00:05:55] 42. Cook on medium heat if you don’t know what you’re doing, 

[00:05:59] 43. Sometimes you got to just yell at a tree 

[00:06:03] 44. Apparently, you can make a good living by writing 20 000 songs about poopy and cities in the Midwest. 

[00:06:10] 45. Things can get better. 

[00:06:14] 46. Things can also get worse. 

[00:06:18] 47. If you take a plunge and buy a record store, it might just turn out okay. 

[00:06:24] 48. The Philly SEPTA train system has a lot of weirdos on it. 

[00:06:29] 49. People do not like co-hosts on my show. I have learned this the hard way. It doesn’t even matter if it’s Katie Couric! Someone of a cultural status like Katie Couric! You guys just want phone calls, man! And it is very confusing and also flattering. 

[00:06:44] 50. Heroin is one of the worst things to ever exist.

[00:06:51] 51. Teachers who make out with students are bad, bad people. 

[00:06:57] 52. Reconciling your own past does a lot of good for your future. 

[00:07:03] 53. Sometimes when I’m sad about my entertainment career job being stressful, I just need to remind myself that other people have survived actual civil wars in countries where life is actually hard. 

[00:07:16] 54. Turns out Satanists can be pretty chill. 

[00:07:21] 55. Americans can be pretty uptight and assume that bad things are going to happen. 

[00:07:26] 56. That being said, we later heard from the Australian Bushman caller, who said things did eventually get shady, so maybe we got a point. 

[00:07:35] 57. Apparently, I would be really popular in Perth, Australia.

[00:07:40] 58. I learned that Copenhagen has a neighborhood where there are no laws.

[00:07:46] 59. I’ll say it again: people don’t fit into boxes. Demographics are a lie. 

[00:07:53] 60. A lot of division amongst people is created by people who make money off of getting clicks.

[00:08:02] 61. Londoners will tolerate sitting in a Nando’s just to hang out with me and Jared.

[00:08:10] 62. I have learned in so many ways that I don’t know nearly as much as I think I do. 

[00:08:16] 63. Getting corrected is a great thing as long as you can resist the urge to be defensive. 

[00:08:24] 64. Life works better if you listen more than you talk. 

[00:08:29] 65. So do phone-based podcasts. I learned that– It took me a couple months to learn that, but you got to listen more than you talk when you’re doing a phone-based podcast. 

[00:08:39] 66. Whether you’re born in Cuba or the Deep South, I am always impressed by people who travel to a lot of different places.

[00:08:47] 67. I’ve learned how to chew into a microphone without being heard. Most of the time 

[00:08:54] 68. I’ve learned how to burp into a microphone without being heard. Most of the time 

[00:09:00] 69. I’ve learned how to suck mini jawbreaker candies near a microphone without being heard. Most of the time 

[00:09:07] 70. I have not learned how to change a diaper near a microphone without you guys hearing it. That one I have not mastered. 

[00:09:15] 71. I’ve learned how to pour water near a microphone, but I think you guys do hear that most of the time. 

[00:09:21] 72. I’ve learned how to read ads for ridiculous things with a straight face. I know it, and you guys know it. 

[00:09:29] 73. I’ve also learned how to put real enthusiasm into the ads for products that I really believe in, and luckily for me, in this show, more often than not, that is the case. I’m quite lucky with the advertisers we get.

[00:09:42] 74. Once you learn about a person, it becomes much harder to hate them. 

[00:09:48] 75. Perfection is overrated. 

[00:09:53] 76. No one lives a life where you don’t have to throw a few punches along the way. 

[00:09:59] 77. I’ve learned that podcasts are what they are because they’re intimate and listened to during times that are personal and in that way, along with others, they’re really beautiful. 

[00:10:10] 78. I’ve learned that you can’t trust that snake Harry Nelson. 

[00:10:16] 79. Young people get underestimated all the time and it is pissing them off.

[00:10:22] 80. A lot of people in this world have unfulfilled artistic ambitions and it just bums me out every time. Bums me out.

[00:10:31] 81. Sometimes people already know the advice they need to hear. They just need to hear someone else say it out loud. 

[00:10:39] 82. Listening doesn’t cost you a dime. 

[00:10:43] 83. Being kind doesn’t cost you a dime. 

[00:10:49] 84. Empathy goes a long way. 

[00:10:53] 85. Might be weird to say this on a phone-based podcast, but I think our phones might be killing our social abilities.

[00:11:02] 86. The internet is the most extreme double-edged sword in human history. 

[00:11:08] 87. For some people, their own religions can scare the shit out of them. Sorry, Sally.

[00:11:15] 88. For other people, their religions afford them the greatest opportunity to do good in the world. 

[00:11:21] 89. I’ve learned that I’m probably still a little more Catholic than I thought. 

[00:11:26] 90. I’ve also learned that I’m not the only Catholic who feels this way. 

[00:11:32] 91. I’ve learned that some people– Oh, I already did that one! Okay, that’s our first repeat. When you write 200 of these things, you’re going to have some repeats. I mean… It’s a better-written version of the one about guns. I end this one by saying we can also both be right and both be wrong and those things can co-exist, which is probably a more eloquent way to end the one about guns. I wonder how many other re– Oh God. Now I’m all stressed out. We all knew it was going to happen. Okay. 

[00:12:00] 92. People are as amused by New Jersey as they are grossed out by it. 

[00:12:05] 93. There are many ways to go off the deep end, and it can happen to anyone. 

[00:12:11] 94. It is common for people to make bad choices, but it is rare for them to have bad intentions. 

[00:12:19] 95. I’d rather die quickly than slowly. 

[00:12:23] 96. I’d like to die in a way that stresses my family out as little as possible. 

[00:12:30] 97. I breathe a sigh of relief that I’ve lived a lot. I know that. Sometimes I complain on the show, get stressed out, but I know I’ve lived a lot of life. I’m still relatively young. I feel really lucky about that. 

[00:12:45] 98. If you have a chance to share something that might help people, it’s honourable to do so. 

[00:12:51] 99. It’s okay to keep a few secrets for yourself, even if you are an open book. 

[00:12:58] 100. Professional wrestler might be the last job where you get to live a P. T. Barnum-esque carny existence. I was so jealous when I heard about that guy who was a wrestler. 

[00:13:10] Number 101: I have been reminded– Everybody asks about my son. I get to be reminded every time they do: I love my son so much, and, talking to so many people, humanity loves their kids so much. 

[00:13:24] 102. I’ve learned that I worry way too much. 

[00:13:30] 103. I’ve learned that everyone worries too much. 

[00:13:33] 104. The rare times I talk to people who aren’t consistently worried, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I should try to be a little more like them. 

[00:13:43] 105. No one will ever convince me that math doesn’t suck. 

[00:13:51] 106. I got to stop telling people that they shouldn’t go to college, okay? It’s going to bite me in me in the ass when my kid is in high school. I got to stop saying that.

[00:14:02] 107. I have learned, sadly, that Americans across the board, they’re not happy right now. They’re stressed out.

[00:14:11] 108. I’ve learned from speaking to international callers that Americans can be very confusing to the rest of the world. 

[00:14:19] 109. I’ve learned that Australians are like Americans, but they tend to have cooler jobs and better accents.

[00:14:27] 110. I’ve learned that animals in Australia are as terrifying as I think they are. 

[00:14:33] 111. I’ve learned the English sense of humour. It’s layered, and they like me, but there’s jokes over there that I’m never going to get. When I’m in London and people joke about accents and what a Northern accent sounds like and whatnot, I don’t– I never– I’m never gonna get it. It’s too specific and too layered. But that’s beautiful. That’s beautiful to go to a place and realize you don’t get the inside jokes.

[00:14:58] 112. So many places I’ve been able to visit. Let’s talk– Let’s go on a little run about the places I’ve been able to visit! 112: Detroit has a lot more art than any of us realize and a lot more wild people doing cool things. 

[00:15:13] 113. Hudson Valley fans. Their art scene is there, but they’re not all artsy, man. You also got this, like, libertarian “We got guns. We’re living in the mountains” up there. That’s another vibe up there in the Hudson Valley too. It’s cool.

[00:15:28] 114. San Francisco. Oh my God. The comedy fans there are thoughtful and refreshing, and I go to San Francisco, and know that city’s being changed by tech, but that place makes me feel so relaxed and happy to be alive. 

[00:15:42] 115. This show brought me to Vancouver for the first time. I’ve been hearing about Vancouver for years. It’s as cool as people say.

[00:15:51] 116. Seattle. Beautiful place. Sophisticated place. Smart people in Seattle talking to me after the show. But Seattle also feels like it has a dark side. 

[00:16:02] 117. I’ve learned that Portland, Oregon, is the best city in the world as long as you never ask the question, “Wait, what was that all about?” I was walking through Portland once. We were doing a live show out there and saw this van pull up at the curb, and the door opened, and some guy just got up off a bench, walked up to the open door, and nobody really said anything or did anything, and then the door closed and the van sped away. I was like, “Wait, what was that all about?” and that’s when I learned never to ask that question in Portland. Makes everything too hard. 

[00:16:34] 118. Chicago. Oh my God, Chicago is my spirit city in so many ways. I should have lived in Chicago at some point in my life. That will be a regret. I’ve learned that. 

[00:16:46] 119. Philly fans keep ya honest, baby. We did the live taping there at the TLA, and it was really cool and rough around the edges and the contents of the call, and the people in that crowd were the best.

[00:17:01] 120. I knew this, but doing live tapings there reiterates it: Jersey has my back.

[00:17:07] 121. Every time we do a live show at the Bell House, it’s sold out. The enthusiasm, the love. Brooklyn has my back.

[00:17:15] 122. Oh my God, I have learned that Baltimore is pure magic. Baltimore, that’s the most underrated city in America. Baltimore people, they’re artsy, they’re thoughtful, they’re psyched. That city is so interesting and that city is not blown out. Oh my God. It gets two.

[00:17:37] 123. I’m gonna go ahead and say it: the Ottobar in Baltimore. I have learned that that’s my favorite venue in America. Best place to perform, in my opinion, for me. Fits me so well. I fit it. Love that place. 

[00:17:50] 124. I am thrilled that my job has taken me to all these places and allowed me to meet so many people. 

[00:17:57] 125. Phone conversations can be intense, but there’s nothing like a quiet exchange after a show to remind you that the people, they’re all out here, man.

[00:18:09] 126. I have learned that I am great on the phone and terrible at talking in person. You ask anyone who’s ever met me in real life: hard, uncomfortable conversations. I’m eternally sorry about that.

[00:18:22] 127. Sometimes it is hard to know that the success of this show has opened this Pandora’s box where sometimes it feels like the world gets to unload on me. It’s a strange feeling sometimes, but on my best days, I remember that this is an honour and not a burden. 

[00:18:40] 128. I really and truly believe that regular people are more interesting than celebrities. 

[00:18:49] 129. I really and truly believe that regular people are getting fed up.

[00:18:55] 130. I really and truly believe that it is regular people that have the ability to change the world. 

[00:19:03] 131. It is both demoralizing and inspiring that despair and hope coexist and fight it out within so many of us. 

[00:19:14] 132. Love the things you love and do not apologize.

[00:19:20] 133. Please still try. Anytime I talk to somebody who used to be in despair at some point who’s now on the other side of it, universally, they are so happy to still be here. Please still try. 

[00:19:34] 134. I have learned that Grammy Award winner Jared O’Connell is really great at what he does. Genuinely. It’s so– He allows me to show up and just be a putz. I somehow have a successful show. Thank you, Jared, for everything. 

[00:19:49] 135. Shy people. They’re the ones with the craziest stories. 

[00:19:55] 136. All right, let’s get a little graphic and personal. Here’s what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that when you put too much honey in your Earl Gray tea, and you drink it way too often, it makes your poop come out like these weird little rabbit pellets. I had to ease off on the honey.

[00:20:13] 137. Talking about politics can be exhausting, but talking about politics through the lens of how they’re affecting the day-to-day lives of an individual, regular person, that’s not exhausting at all. That gets very eye-opening. 

[00:20:28] 138. It’s our second repeat. Oh God. Writing 200 things is so hard. Okay. I’m just gonna skip that one. Okay. I’ve learned that I’m– I don’t have a great memory for things I wrote. This took me, like, weeks to write all these, okay? Cut me some slack. 

[00:20:44] 139. No hobby is dorky if you like it enough.

[00:20:48] 140. People are going to doubt your ideas. Don’t listen to those people. Stick with your ideas if you really believe in them. 

[00:20:57] 141. Old-school forms of communication, they still have a lot to offer. And I really hope that people get innovative thinking about how to use them. 

[00:21:07] 142. Sometimes the scariest stretches of your life are also the ones you look back most fondly on. 

[00:21:16] 143. One of my greatest accomplishments is that in 200 episodes I have never once tweeted the wrong number and barraged some unsuspecting person with thousands of calls. That’s probably the thing that I think is the most unlikely success of this show, is I’ve never ruined someone’s day with the wrong phone number.

[00:21:38] 144. The world might be broken, and we might not be able to fix it, but I’m happy to learn there’s a hell of a lot of people in this world who are going to go down swinging as they try.

[00:21:50] 145. The three things that I believe people cannot live without are food, water and hope. 

[00:21:58] 146. Not throwing shade on my past projects, but it does feel good to make art that more than a group– Okay. This is our first– Should I just try to get– We’re not doing drops, baby! If I mess it up– We’re 146 in before I’ve misspoken for the first time. Jared, no drops! Let them hear the flaws! Let them hear– Let them see the scar tissue! Okay. 146: I’m not trying to throw shade at any other work I’ve done in the past, but it does feel good to make art that more than a tiny group of sad teens enjoy.

[00:22:30] 147. That being said, I still, so truthfully, think that sad teens are the people who have the most potential to change things for the better. 

[00:22:42] 148. One of the things that makes me saddest is when people don’t feel free to be who they are.

[00:22:51] 149. Doing live episodes often means a lot of traveling alone, but when I get to meet the listeners after the shows, that is very often when I feel the least alone in my life.

[00:23:05] 150. Selfishly, I’m happy to know that if I pass away, these conversations will survive, and the way that I felt about so many aspects of the world will remain on record 

[00:23:18] 151. I don’t know if all the corporate people around here are going to love me saying this one, but let’s put it out there honestly. I’ve learned that I don’t like paywalls. I don’t love paywalls. I think that’s fair for me to say. That being said, I am proud of the– a lot of the stuff we’ve put behind the paywall. We work really hard to make sure that it’s worth your guys’ time and money. 

[00:23:42] 152. I gotta say– Here, I’m gonna tell you guys– I might– I might– Cockiest days, I wish these conversations could be somehow archived and used in academic settings. Maybe it’s because I’m an American Studies major, but I feel like these would have fit in those classes I took. Because I’ll tell you, when I’m not being modest — and I usually am self-defeating — but when I’m not being modest, I feel like these things might be capturing our era of cultural history in our own words, the way that those letters Ken Burns uses in his documentaries used to. 

[00:24:17] 153. I also have a lot of doubtful days. So, since I was just pretentious, let me get it on record: I am well aware that I’m just farting out phone calls here, all right? And having fun doing it. 

[00:24:29] 154. We have to watch out for forms of communication that are texts, DMs, tweets, Facebook posts. Those things are all fine for what they are, but we really have to value and get back in our lives the forms of communication that aren’t that.

[00:24:50] 155. I am filled with the constant question: one hundred years from now, how are our great-grandkids going to know any of us? What will they have?

[00:25:02] 156. I’m somebody who has thought a lot about legacy, but maybe what actually matters more than that is just having a happy and regular life. 

[00:25:14] 157. I make money through comedy and acting and writing, but this show has taught me to stop believing in that question, when people ask me what I am, because now I know the answer is just “a person,” all right? The things you do do not define who you are.

[00:25:30] 158. For a lot of people, creativity is medicine. A lot of people. Creativity heals them. I love seeing that 

[00:25:40] 159. The world, simply put, is more fun if you assume the best in people. 

[00:25:47] 160. One of my favourite things to witness, ever, is when a person the world underestimates stops underestimating themselves.

[00:25:58] 161. Begrudgingly, I got to admit, colleges actually served many people well. It didn’t work for me. I didn’t love it. But for a lot of people, it’s actually been a good thing. 

[00:26:12] 162. So happy that this show reminds me so often cynicism gets you nowhere. 

[00:26:20] 163. One of the most inspiring things in the world is learning the methods people have found to push through tragedy.

[00:26:32] 164. When I meet listeners in person and they tell me the show has meant a lot to them, it means a lot to me. 

[00:26:40] 165. Sometimes I wish that I had felt less pain when I was younger, but I think that’s probably what makes me sympathetic to other people’s pain now, so I really don’t think I would go back and erase that pain even if I could. 

[00:26:58] 166. I’ve learned that I really like working in the audio medium better than I like working on TV, for a lot of reasons. Maybe chief among them: it makes it harder for people to identify who I am and bother me while I’m trying to eat ice cream on a date with my wife. 

[00:27:16] 167. Out of all the projects I’ve done over the years, I think that Beautiful Anonymous listeners, they’re probably the ones who know the real me best.

[00:27:25] 168. I want to make sure that my son sees as many places as he can. 

[00:27:32] 169. I want my son to be more comfortable talking to people than I am.

[00:27:40] 170. I am glad as I get happily older and happily lamer that my son, he’s gonna be able to experience my past work. He’ll find all this stuff someday and he might know that at some point, I was kind of cool. I was, like, a cool artist in Brooklyn for a while. He’ll know that. That’s good.

[00:27:59] 171. Important one. Bombas! Legit great socks. Not kidding. They did not pay for this. This is not some… some secret content that they paid for. Bombas are the best. Like everybody I know who gets them is like, “Yo, you weren’t lying about the Bombas!”

[00:28:20] 172. Okay. Not trying to throw anybody under the bus who has paid me money over the years, but I will– I’m gonna say that I still feel bad that we advertised that psychic service that one time. I didn’t 100% understand what it was, and that’s my bad. That’s my bad. It was– You know, for a show that has a lot of people who maybe have some mental health stuff going on, it wound up not being a great match. I’m not disparaging their services; it just wasn’t a great match for us. That’s one that I… My bad on that.

[00:28:49] 173. It’s very odd to me to learn how social change moves so fast, but also not at all, simultaneously.

[00:29:00] 174. It’s nice to serve a purpose. 

[00:29:05] 175. I’m proud that I’ve been so open about my mental health, but I am also legitimately terrified at times how often this leads to me sharing the pain of other people’s mental health problems. 

[00:29:18] 176. I have learned it so many times, been reminded me of it via the show so many times. 176: I love being alive. 

[00:29:29] 177. I think if I’m remembering right, I’ve only had to pause one call ever to go pee halfway through, and that’s a miracle. 200 calls. I think I’ve only stopped to pee once.

[00:29:42] 178. I’ve learned this over and over again on the show: it can take decades to sort out weird shit that happened during your childhood. 

[00:29:51] 179. I’ve learned that America probably shouldn’t be one country. Like, realistically, it’s like seven different countries. Culturally, it’s weird. It’s weird that this large amount of space is one thing. 

[00:30:05] 180. I have learned to constantly remind myself that, as a white person and a guy, my experience of the world is not the baseline that applies to everyone. 

[00:30:17] 181. Things can go bad in the blink of an eye.

[00:30:23] 182. Good times can come out of nowhere. 

[00:30:27] 183. I gotta stop spending my whole life feeling like I’m in such a rush, man! I always feel like I’m in a rush. That’s a big part of why people never slow down and learn about each other. 

[00:30:38] 184. I got to spend less time worrying about what I want and more time appreciating what I have. I have to tell you, over the past four years doing the show, that’s probably one of the major effects the show has had on me, is it has made me really appreciate the things I have. 

[00:30:55] 185. It is such a shame that being kind is not everyone’s starting point.

[00:31:04] 186. There are so many places I’ve never been. I talk to people from all over the world — there’s so many places I haven’t been! The show has made me want to see every place. 

[00:31:16] 187. Everybody in the world would be well served to cut themselves some slack.

[00:31:24] 188. I find it interesting that people who choose to live in more isolated settings often seem to feel less loneliness than those who live in very crowded places. 

[00:31:37] 189. I have learned that loneliness is a cancer. Loneliness grows, and it is hard to stop and, man, it can kill you.

[00:31:51] 190. One of the most frustrating peoples– Oh God. Okay. I got up to 190. I only misspoke twice, Jared. We’re going to leave these in so people can realize that I’m a goddamn professional over here, okay? Oh God. You’re in the tail stretch, Geth. Let’s go. You got some really good hard-hitting ones in the last ten. Let’s do it. Okay, deep breath. 190: One of the most frustrating feelings that I’ve seen on display via this show over and over again: so frustrating to have motivation and nowhere to direct it.

[00:32:23] 191. Ooh, this next one is true: when you find people in this world who think even remotely like you do, hang on to those people. 

[00:32:36] 192. Every day there is the potential for lunacy to erupt, and honestly, it’s on you to either endure that lunacy or enjoy that lunacy. 

[00:32:50] 193. Age doesn’t define us half as much as we think it does when we’re young. When you’re young, you fear getting old. But I talk to everybody, of all different ages, and the older people, very often, man, they’re still living cool lives, fun lives, and they’re in a more zen place. Such a great thing to learn. So much stress when you’re young about running out of time. Man. Getting old is fun. 

[00:33:17] 194. I spent a lot of time in my life letting my fears dictate my decisions, and it is much better to find some trust in the world. This show has made me trust the world exponentially more than I did before I started doing it. Thank you to everyone who’s called and made that happen. 

[00:33:37] 195. This one’s a little bit a repeat, but I don’t care because it’s so true. The most important part of talking, by far, is listening. 

[00:33:49] 196. It makes people feel really good when you ask them a question and then you actually demonstrate that you want to hear the answer. I think that a lot of times we feel like people ask us questions and it’s just pausing before their next turn to talk. It means a lot when you’re clearly interested. 

[00:34:09] 197. People can hang on to trauma and keep it secret for years, and a lot of times, that’s not necessarily because they’re ashamed or they’re afraid. They just feel like no one cares. You gotta care.

[00:34:27] 198. It takes a lot more strength to be sincere than it does to be cynical. Cynicism equals weakness. Sincerity equals strength.

[00:34:41] 199. Number 199. That’s staying blank. I intentionally said I’m not writing anything for 199. Why? Because it’s a reminder that even though I’m listing 200 things I’ve learned, I got a lot more to learn, and I know that all the time. 199 is blank. I got a lot left to learn. I can’t fill in all of these things. It would be disingenuous. 

[00:35:00] 200. Maybe the most important thing that I’ve learned through this show; I think maybe something that a lot of people have learned and been reminded of via this show. Love is everywhere. It really is. It really is.

[00:35:24] That’s 200 things I’ve learned or been very much reminded of thanks to my time hosting Beautiful Anonymous. I have to thank everybody over the years who has made this show happen. I mean, going back– I want to go back to the early– I mean, think– I mean, Jeff Ulrich, who helped build this show; Eric Dean, Chris Bannon, Colin Anderson… everybody, man. The Reverend John Delore, Gretta Cohn, Jared O’Connell, Harry Nelson, Anita Flores, Jordan Allyn… everybody, man. Everybody who helps with the show, everybody who’s ever advertised on the show, and, most of all, everybody who listens to the show, and such a huge thank you to everybody who calls, trusts me to be the shepherd of their stories and who has, I’m not kidding, made me think about the world differently, and believe in humanity more than I ever have, and who has helped me grow up in so many ways that have made me a better person. Thanks to all the musicians who contributed music to today’s episode. Shellshag, of course, whose theme song has meant the world; sums up the themes of the show; I think clicks with people for a reason. Love you, Shellshag. Mikey Erg, Jeff Rosenstock, Laura Stevenson, Mal Blum, all such good friends. Support them. Support their work. Thanks for listening to this show. Hope we get to do 200 more, 500 more, a thousand more. I hope that when I drop dead, it’s talking into a microphone with one of you. I hope that’s when it happens. I hope I’m 89 and I can barely hear you and am talking to a real human being out there in the world. Thanks for listening, everybody.