August 22, 2022
A gum covered dog, a bomb threatened hospital, and a tornado warning. A woman describes the cartoonish obstacles she had to overcome to visit her ailing father. She opens up to Geth about navigating family drama and the weirdness of getting emails about Father’s Day. Later on, the audience welcomes her to the “dead dad club” with no shortage of dark jokes.
333 — Dodging Bombs & Tornados (Live from Boston)
Chris [00:00:04] Hello, Boston. It’s Beautiful/ Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred. Hi, everybody. Chris Gethard here. Welcome to Beautiful/ Anonymous. Got to thank everybody who came to our four tapings out in Edinburgh, Scotland. The crowds were small but mighty, and we got some good stuff out of it. And I can’t wait for the listeners to hear it someday. Thanks again for coming, everybody. And remember, if you’re in Edinburgh in August for the Fringe Festival, I’m here all month with my show, A Father and the Sun, at The Gilded Balloon at 6 p.m. every day. This week’s episode. It’s a really tough one. It’s a really tough one. Our caller didn’t just lose her dad. Our caller lost her dad and then suffered through a cartoonish level of calamity. Just thing after thing, bad luck thing after bad luck thing. But I think it’s a call that a lot of people are going to get so much out of because so many of us have been through stretches like this where you just go through a stretch of life where you go, is there anything else that can go wrong? And this caller has been going through that. And the answer just keeps going, yes. Here’s another thing. And here’s another thing. To the point where we we almost have to laugh about it, because what else can you do in this world, right? But all that being said, we get into some very funny and dark stuff. We talk about where you find support in this world. There’s a stretch where the caller talks about dealing with other family members who pulled some nonsense and how you confront that with grace. And, man, this caller’s just been through so much. Your heart’s going to go out. You’re also going to say, when you hear the story of someone just having so many things happen all at once, you just sit here and you go, I hope that someday when I go through my next stretch of life where I have things like that happening to me, that I can figure out how to handle them in a way that’s as peaceful and graceful as this caller does. I greatly enjoyed this call. I thank the caller for calling. Thanks to everybody who came out. This was recorded live up in Massachusetts, Cambridge, the Boston area. Thanks to everybody who showed up. And I hope you greatly enjoy listening.
Voicemail Robot [00:02:44] Thank you for calling. Beautiful Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.
Caller [00:02:51] Hi.
Chris [00:02:52] Hi. How are you?
Caller [00:02:55] I’m okay. How are you?
Chris [00:02:57] I’m really good. I’m in Boston, which is a city that’s always been kind to me. And everybody here seems really chill, so I’m feeling good.
Caller [00:03:06] Hi, everyone.
Chris [00:03:09] (CROWD CHEERS) There we go.
Caller [00:03:13] That’s really, really cool.
Chris [00:03:14] Yeah, you can. You can manipulate them into just cheering whenever you feel like, apparently.
Caller [00:03:19] Ooh, that’s fun. And I actually have spent a good amount of time in Boston, and I’m actually calling to talk about my dad, who was born in Boston, so.
Chris [00:03:28] Oh, wow. What? Do you know what part of Boston he was born in?
Caller [00:03:32] Oh, gosh, I don’t know. I’m a monster now. I’m turning them against me already.
Chris [00:03:36] Okay, okay, okay. That’s fair. But you’ve got Boston roots. You’ve spent some time here. Hometown crowd. They all have your back now. I like that. I like that.
Caller [00:03:47] I love it. I’m here for it. Yeah.
Chris [00:03:51] Um.
Caller [00:03:51] Um. So, yeah, should I just dive into it?
Chris [00:03:56] Yeah. Whatever you want to do, let’s do it.
Caller [00:03:59] Cool. So tomorrow is Father’s Day, and my dad is dead. My dad just died a few weeks ago.
Chris [00:04:07] Oh, no. I’m so sorry.
Caller [00:04:08] I am. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. So it’s a weird, weird time. It’s a weird time.
Chris [00:04:18] I’m very, very sorry to hear that. How did your dad pass? Can I ask?
Caller [00:04:25] Yeah, absolutely. You can ask whatever you want. He had cancer. So he had prostate cancer for 18 years. And, um but about two months before he passed, we found out that it had spread to his liver. And when we found out it spread his liver, we were like, crap. We’ve got like five years left with him, right? And so we started panicking. I lived across the country from where my family is. And so I was like, do we move? I’m married. I’m like, do we move home? Do we, you know, what do we do? And started sort of planning. And then two weeks to the day after that, we actually found out that it spread to his brain. And so it was really quick from that. Yeah. So we got on a plane a few days later, on a one way ticket, and we’re just like, Well, we’re going to be there as, as much as we need to be, as long as we need to be. And it was like a series of distancing events that happened, but we were there for about four weeks and he passed four weeks after that. And I was with him when he passed. So um here, I’ll tell you, I’ll kick off with this fun story, which is we found out, so we’re flying and we have a layover to get to the airport where he lives. And on the way to the second location, like so we’re on our layover. And I got a call that he’s been released from the hospital. So we had actually booked an Airbnb really close to where the hospital is, like right down the street. So we’re like okay. It’s a little messed up, you know, he lives about an hour outside of that hospital. Not ideal. So the next morning we wake up really early to try to get there before he gets discharged. I haven’t seen my dad in, you know, months. And all I want to do, you know, you have this long travel day with a layover. I’m sure that you’ve done it a billion times or, you know, people there have done it a billion times. And we we get to the airport and there’s like a lot of people standing outside. I’m like, what is going on? There’s cops and the cops are yelling. My brother and I finally park and we’re trying to cross the street, trying to figure out where we’re going. And we finally walk up to this crowd after this cop, like yells at us and tells us to go a certain way. And I’m like, What is going on? And they’re like, Oh, there’s a bomb threat. No one’s allowed within (UNCLEAR) feet of the hospital. So we flew across the country to see or I flew across the country to see him and I couldn’t even get to see him for a few extra hours because there was a bomb threat at the hospital.
Chris [00:06:47] There was a bomb threat at the hospital?
Caller [00:06:49] At the hospital. And then the nurse was like, oh, this never- the lady who was telling us this, she’s like, this never happens.
Chris [00:06:55] I would think it never happens! I thought you were gonna say a bomb threat at the airport, which is still unusual, but at least that would make a little more sense.
Caller [00:07:05] Yeah, no. At the hospital.
Chris [00:07:08] I got to say, you started telling us about the tragic passing of your father, and then you said, Let me start out with this funny story. I’m in my head, going, I have my doubts. But that was kind of funny.
Caller [00:07:20] It’s really fucked up. It was like a month of of things like that where, like, something weird happened constantly. Like, there was just always something that you’re like, there’s no way that this is happening. And it just kept happening like that. And having- on top of the fact that he was sick, dying, and that all that was happening, that was just like another series of things. Even before we left our apartment, the morning that we flew, we’re like, okay, we’ll, wash the towels so that the towels are clean when we get back. And our washing machine overflowed in in the morning, just overflowed. It was like a month-.
Chris [00:07:53] Your washing machine overflowed?
Caller [00:07:57] Yeah. At our apartment where we live. Our washing machine overflowed, like before we even got to the airport.
Chris [00:08:02] I’m so sorry that I’m sitting here giggling, but you’re giggling and it’s making me giggle. And all these people in Boston are judging me hard for it. Just so you know, all the people sitting there watching, I can feel them going like, why is he smiling? And it’s because you’re giggling. So I’m sorry that your father passed away. And I’m sorry about your washing machine and the bomb threat, but you’re kind of really fucking me over with this live crowd. Because they think I’m an asshole.
Caller [00:08:25] Yeah. Oh, no. We’re going to, we’ll get hem on both sides before this hour is over.
Chris [00:08:30] Okay. Okay.
Caller [00:08:31] Um yeah and I fly with a dog. We took him outside after we checked in at the airport, and he stepped in gum.
Chris [00:08:39] Your dog stepped in gum?
Caller [00:08:40] Someone had thrown gum in the dog area, and it’s like rocks, so that I’m like on the floor of the dog area, like stripping rocks and gum out of my dog’s paws. It was the most, that was before we left the city that we live in. Like it was the most asinine series of events in a month.
Chris [00:08:57] How do you get gum off a dog paw? You use peanut butter? I got gum in my hair once when I was a kid and they put peanut butter.
Caller [00:09:03] We were at the airport!
Chris [00:09:04] Oh, you were at the airport?
Caller [00:09:07] Yeah. At the airport.
Chris [00:09:08] You took your dog to the airport.
Caller [00:09:09] He went to the dog area.
Chris [00:09:10] Oh, it doesn’t even occur to me. I’ve never been a dog guy. I don’t know if people who listen to the show are aware, but I’m not a huge fan of dogs. And I’ve never had a dog. So I didn’t even know that airports had dog areas.
Caller [00:09:22] Yeah, yeah. They have dog areas outside and inside where you can take them. Yeah.
Chris [00:09:28] So you’ve got a gum covered dog, a bomb threat in the hospital. Your father is is ill.
Caller [00:09:36] Brain cancer. Terminal. Yeah.
Chris [00:09:38] Well, you don’t have to.
Caller [00:09:40] It’s not funny, but it’s…
Chris [00:09:43] No, the crowd, I think, is coming to appreciate the fact that you are saying the darkest shit you can and then laughing. And then they get to watch my face as I have to be up here live and I charge them money for this.
Caller [00:09:55] Amazing. I love this. I love this. It’s going to, yeah. This is very good to help someone.
Chris [00:10:01] If it helps if it helps get you some catharsis, then I’m all about it. Then I’m all about it.
Caller [00:10:05] Yeah. It does. It’s been a crazy couple of months. It’s been about eight weeks since he passed now. And I think more I mean, it’s it’s good to start with a little bit of levity, but, you know, more of what I kind of wanted to touch on today is just how the aftermath of losing a parent is unlike anything you could have ever prepared for.
Chris [00:10:27] Yeah.
Caller [00:10:27] You know. Yeah.
Chris [00:10:30] I can imagine. And and, you know, now that I’m a parent, I, I tell you what, I think about passing away in a whole new light. Like, I’m like, there’s now, like, a much bigger reason for me to not pass away. And I sit here, I go, man, like, I don’t even know. Like, what does that mean for my son? So I see it from that angle as well, which is trippy and dark.
Caller [00:10:52] Yeah. It’s it’s weird. And I think too, I’m married. My husband and I don’t have kids yet. I’m not sure if we want to. But also now we have this thing where we’re like, if I have kids, my dad’s never going to meet that kid. That’s hard. That’s like a hard thing to think about.
Chris [00:11:10] How old are you?
Caller [00:11:13] 35.
Chris [00:11:13] 35. So pretty young. Pretty young to have a parent pass away.
Caller [00:11:19] Yeah. Yeah. Like my mom’s dad, my grandfather, passed seven years ago. Right, so I think I kind of always thought my parents would live until I was in my fifties or sixties. And, you know, that’s sort of the example that was set for me in terms of like my family. So I sort of always thought that that was what I would have. Like I think I took for granted that he would be around for longer.
Chris [00:11:41] I tell you, we’ve got the crowd here and they’re tweeting and there’s a lot of support. And it bums me out. Silas says, My dad died a couple months ago, too. I want the caller to know she’s not alone. This is a weird fucking holiday now. Lisa has- My dad was treated for prostate cancer this year. Sending love. Martin says, Oh, boy. The day after my dad died, I had a ticket to see a preview viewing of Don’t Think Twice, which is a movie about improv I was in. I’m so sorry, Martin. All I was hoping for was a movie without a dead father. Woops. Wrong movie.
Caller [00:12:17] Oh, no.
Chris [00:12:18] My father was the dead father, caller. This is-
Caller [00:12:23] Oh, no.
Chris [00:12:24] About as dark as a live show has ever gone with our tapings. Jodie also has a passed away father. Sending love. And yeah, I’m so- also, Jodie says that my worst quality is that I’m not a dog guy. Thank you, Jodie.
Caller [00:12:43] And, yeah, and if that’s the worst thing, I mean, you should. I know, I know enough people have argued with you over that over the years, so I’m not going to do that to you today.
Chris [00:12:51] That’s fair. Andrew says, It’s a shit show. You need to just ride the wave of shit. I think maybe just referring to life. Jodie also says she was 35 when he- and so a lot of, oh, caller, this giggling, you were giggling every time it gets truly dark and it’s going to get us through this goddamn evening. Okay. Okay.
Caller [00:13:10] I love it.
Chris [00:13:11] Yeah, I love it, too. I love it too.
Caller [00:13:15] Those messages are fantastic. So I’m glad that you get those. And I’m glad that I got to hear some of them, too. That’s really, really cool.
Chris [00:13:21] Yeah. People got your back in this room.
Caller [00:13:25] Heck, yeah. Yeah. It’s so weird. You know, you there are certain things you see and do your whole life, right. You, you have neural pathways in your brain that tell you to do a certain thing, right? So if I’m walking the dog in the morning, I usually call my mom, my dad, or my brother. And so getting back home and kind of like getting back into the swing of things, you know, in the morning I wake up, I look at my phone and you like hover, and you’re like, no, can’t do that, can’t do that, can’t do that. That’s been that’s been really weird. And then just kind of losing him not too long before Father’s Day. Similar to the person in the audience, it’s like you see this barrage of stuff like commercials or like emails. Oh, my God. I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve gotten from people that are like, for Father’s Day, do this thing. And it is so weird, like, because you’re just like, delete, delete, like, get out of my life. I hate you, whatever random company. I actually did see one company recently be like, If you don’t want Father’s Day emails this year, please, you know like, click this button or whatever. And then it just doesn’t send you those, which I thought was a really-
Chris [00:14:27] That’s a nice corporate gesture, but they are still in effect sending you on Father’s Day, like they’re sending you a message that, hey, if Father’s Day is shattered and destroyed for you forever, click here to unsubscribe so we don’t bother you again closer to the holiday.
Caller [00:14:42] Confirm your dad is dead or that you hate him by clicking this button.
Chris [00:14:46] Ohhhhhhh, no! Click here to confirm your father’s dead or dead to you! I’m just gonna pause there because it sounded like an ad anyway, right? Click here to confirm your father’s dead or dead to you. So if we’re, you know, if we’re going to go ahead and we’re going to have things that sound like ads, let’s just do the real ads, too. Let’s get those out of the way. We’ll be right back. Thanks so much to all of our advertisers. Now we’re going to get back to the phone call. Click here to confirm your father’s dead or dead to you!
Caller [00:15:28] Yeah. Either way, that in some capacity. Yeah.
Chris [00:15:31] Dead in some capacity.
Caller [00:15:33] Cuz that’s another thing, too. Yeah, that is. Yeah. Yeah, it’s. It sucks. I mean and then there’s people whose parents are incapacitated but are alive, and that’s a whole nother, you know, my dad, once we knew he was dying, he died pretty quickly, for all intents and purposes. Like, we were with him for the last month of his life in the place where he was.
Chris [00:15:53] Did you ever figure out who was trying to bomb the hospital and why?
Caller [00:15:58] No. No. And then when we were going to leave, after we finally did get into a few hours later, there was like a tornado threat.
Chris [00:16:10] No there wasn’t. Come on!
Caller [00:16:10] I swear to you.
Chris [00:16:12] No! Come on. Gum on your dog and the busted washing machine. And then they’re like, okay, guys, the bomb threat wasn’t real, but everybody needs to get in the basement because now the tornadoes are upon us.
Caller [00:16:21] Yes, yes, yes, it was. I have like a note in my phone of all the things that kind of happened.
Chris [00:16:27] I need to hear this. I need to hear what else is in this note?
Caller [00:16:31] Alright. Um. Okay. The first day, travel, washing machine overflowed, dog stuck in gum and rocks. Flight was delayed. Almost didn’t get the rental car. That was also true. We almost didn’t get our rental car that night. And my mom had to call the rental car company and then we got there, our flight was delayed and the lady was literally packing her bag to leave. And my husband had to like stop her and I had to run to catch up with them. So that was the first day. Second day, bomb threat, tornado warning, and then my dad got released from the hospital. Three days later. Okay. So my dad remarried. My parents have been divorced since I was 15 or something? So 20 years almost. So my dad’s remarried and I really do like his his wife. But she was under a lot of pressure at this time. And I was there and my brother was there and my husband was there, my step siblings were there, and we didn’t have anybody to help him. And he was incapacitated already at this point in a way that he hadn’t been even the week before, before he had been in the hospital. So as I mentioned, we were staying like far- we were saying an hour away from where he lived because we got the hotel based on where we thought he would be. And then he got released. So one day, and I’m working from home this whole time. I work remotely. And so one day I’m like, okay, we’re going to come later so the siblings who aren’t going to stay kind of indefinitely can have some time with him before they leave. And so we leave. It’s like four or five in the afternoon. I’d done my calls for the day. And I got a text message when we’re like two blocks away. So I pull over and it’s from my step mom and she has a friend whose name is the same name as me, and she had text messaged this- she tried to text message that friend, she texted that- another friend and this person who has my name- or tried to- but texted me instead, talking shit about me.
Chris [00:18:28] Your step mom accidentally texted you talking shit about you while you were in town because your dad was dying?
Caller [00:18:36] Yeah. Yeah.
Chris [00:18:38] That’s like a movie moment. What did she say? I got to ask.
Caller [00:18:43] Oh, God, I think I, hold on. If you give me a second, I’ll find a screenshot.
Chris [00:18:49] Oh you got that screenshot? That’s a keeper.
Caller [00:18:54] Oh no, I absolutely have that screenshot. Give me a second. I sent it to my mom and them so give me a second.
Chris [00:19:01] You did. You said to write to your mom.
Caller [00:19:04] Oh, absolutely. Okay, I found it. Oh, okay. Have to vent. Oh, gosh.
Chris [00:19:10] Don’t say your name.
Caller [00:19:13] I’m not. I’m, got it. And actually, she calls me the daughter. So she says, Have to vent. The daughter came from city to see her dad, my ass. First day she arrived here at 430. Yesterday she arrived around 630 or seven. She’s still not here today. I’m glad but so wrong. Can’t stand them. This is day three.
Chris [00:19:40] Yo. Your stepmom sucks. Your stepmom sucks so bad. That’s such a shitty thing. Making it all about her and the way she’s feeling about you. Meanwhile, you’re dodging bombs and tornadoes.
Caller [00:19:58] Yeah. It wasn’t great. Yeah. Bombs, tornadoes, flying. I can’t tell you how much money we spent like being there and, you know, kind of like uprooting life for a bit to just be there. And, you know, that’s kind of what I said back, because I was like, you know, I wanted to give the other kids a chance to see him since we’re staying indefinitely. Like, I love him and I love you and I’m sorry you feel this way but we’ll be there soon.
Chris [00:20:21] What did she- so you took the high road on her! You took the high road, which, you know made her feel worse. Well done.
Caller [00:20:28] Oh, yeah. I walked in and she was crying, and it didn’t make me feel bad, so.
Chris [00:20:31] Wait, what happened?
Caller [00:20:35] I walked in and she was crying, and I did not feel bad that she was crying.
Chris [00:20:40] She was crying.
Caller [00:20:40] After that. But I will give her the credit that she- it’s a lot. Like, you know, your partner’s dying. They’ve been together for, you know, almost 20 years. And I, I definitely took the high road. I definitely fucking hated her that day. But had to try to be like, okay. But she called me the daughter so it’s funny you were like, don’t say your name. And I’m like, I can’t even if I read this text.
Chris [00:21:05] You know what? I gotta say, the silver lining on that one, though, is like if you stay in touch, I it doesn’t necessarily sound like a relationship where you have to, but if you stay in touch with your step mom and she ever gives you a hard time about anything, you now can be like, Yo, I let you off the hook on the meanest thing you’ve ever done. So yeah, why don’t you- like you cannot complain about anything for the rest of this entire relationship. You talked shit about me to me while my dad was dying and I let you off the hook. Do my laundry. Cook me dinner. You got to do whatever I want.
Caller [00:21:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I it’s it’s hard because when people are dying, people handle things really differently. And her and I are very different in first place.
Chris [00:21:52] Sounds like it.
Caller [00:21:53] But that was crazy. Yeah.
Chris [00:21:56] Yeah. You are someone who finds ways to laugh in the face of pain. And she is someone who talks shit about the about the children in the family. I would say you’re different people for sure. I hope she hears this someday.
Caller [00:22:08] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. What a terrifying thing. Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, it’s like it’s hard. It’s hard when you’re that scared going through it. I think some of that fear is like you don’t know what’s on the other end of it. And when you get to the other end of it, it’s way worse. It’s way worse than, like, everything. But she she was, like, super negative. Like she had to be really positive to his face. But, like, really had a really hard time behind his back, and was, like, very angry. And I just kind of kept telling her, like, you have the rest of your life to be angry. At me, at him, at everyone, at everything. God, at whoever you believe in, whatever you believe in. Like you have the rest of your life to be angry. Right now, you just need to be present with him.
Chris [00:22:49] You told your stepmom that?
Caller [00:22:51] Yeah. Yeah.
Chris [00:22:53] You’re like the goddamn Dalai Lama. How did you even summon that level of grace? You have your whole life to be angry. Right now, I need you to be present with him. Like what? Meanwhile, if I got a text from someone that was like, Yo, the son is here, he’s fucking didn’t show up to this, and that. Can’t stand him. I would have been, I mean, I would be- I would have gone very jersey on them. I don’t know where you’re from, but I know it’s not New Jersey. I just learned that. I just learned that. Yeah, you’re from one of those nice places like Kansas or somewhere in the Midwest. Are you from the Midwest?
Caller [00:23:30] No, I’m from Florida, which is a very big state, so.
Chris [00:23:33] You’re from Florida? I’m surprised you didn’t like you can shoot a crossbow at her or something.
Caller [00:23:41] We live in L.A. now, so it’s like maybe more Zen here, maybe?
Chris [00:23:45] You live in L.A. and you found your zen. Here’s a question that’s been on my mind. You kept track. You sensed very quickly, okay, there’s a ludicrous amount. There’s a pile on of shitty things happening here. You kept the notes. Were there any things you think back towards to in this stretch that were, like, shockingly pleasant in a surprising way? Like, did you randomly like, are there any notes in your app that are like, weirdly just had the best nachos of my life. Like anything like that?
Caller [00:24:16] I will say that one note that I know I wrote and I kind of read over them last night just, you know, with this weekend upon us and just sort of reflecting on loss. And one thing that I noticed was that this was- because my parents split up when I was a teenager and I lived with my mom, this was the most time I had spent with my dad since I was a teenager. Like the most consecutive days I’d spent with him since I was a teenager. So I found that to be really great. And I also I used to work I used to work in entertainment. I used to travel a lot and was not necessarily in a place where I could pick up and work remotely. But for the last year, through the pandemic, I’ve worked at a company that’s fully remote. So you’re able to just pick up and leave and not have to worry about getting back to an office or anybody counting my days or where I was. And I work for a company that’s super, super supportive. So that was really, really positive. I mean, I also spent some time with my brother and my brother came up to spend some time with us. That was really good. But I don’t- other than that, I don’t know. I will say, my dad, we watched like, so growing up, my dad and I didn’t always communicate well. Like he had kind of a rough childhood and I don’t know that he always knew how to be a dad. So he- we didn’t always speak the same language. And sometimes we used music to communicate. And in the last month of his life, we listened to a lot of music together. There was always music playing in the house. There was a time where I had- the transportation for him fell through. He was in a wheelchair for the last month, and his transportation fell through, so I actually had to take him to radiation. And I had made a playlist of some of his favorite songs, but cover songs of them. So like the song Rich Girl, like there’s a cover of it and the song Horse with No Name, there’s like a version from BoJack. And so I pulled songs that I knew he loved and played them, you know, played them for him on this ride. And I just I love that memory because he was holding my hand and I could just, like, have these songs on and he was, you know, he was singing and and I could just tell he was like enjoying those moments while we had them. So I think, for that was really nice. I also gave him a haircut. His hair was really like wild when we got there and so I cut his hair. And that is not what I do for a living at all. But I learned how to cut my husband’s hair during the pandemic, so I basically gave my dad my husband’s haircut. And that was really nice. And he- my husband took a photo of us and my dad’s smiling. And it’s a live photo. So you can actually see him like kind of look at me and smile. And so there’s like memories like that that we were able to get before things got really bad towards the end, that those are like the things that I’m really glad for. You know?
Chris [00:26:59] You know what’s really wild is, you know, you mentioned that your parents were divorced, that you lived with your mom, that this was the longest stretch of time you spent with your dad. So it sounds like, you know, I can’t speak to an entire 20 years, but it it doesn’t sound like he was, and you know, who knows how much this was via choice versus just divorces happen and people move on and you live- were living with your mom. Due to whatever circumstance, it doesn’t sound like he was able to be as present as a dad as one would like. And then it sounds like in his final days, you almost took on a parenting role with him. Cutting his hair and transporting him. And that’s a really it’s really a… That’s a very meaningful last twist, huh?
Caller [00:27:48] Yeah, it feels weird and like we definitely had a really complicated relationship at times. When I first moved to L.A. he was very not happy and I was like in my early twenties at the time. And so he was paying for my health insurance and my car insurance. Within a few weeks of me being there, we weren’t talking, we didn’t talk for six months, and he sent me the bill for my car insurance and my health insurance and was like, All right, you want to do this? Do it. So it was kind of messy. But after that, that big kind of falling out, misunderstanding, whatever, we’ve been pretty good since then. We’ve been pretty good like the last, like nine or ten years before he passed.
Chris [00:28:27] Imagine if your step mom sent you another accidental text that was like, The daughter gave him such a bad haircut. Imagine if she just kept talking shit and couldn’t figure out how to text it appropriately. Playlist all covers. Ew.
Caller [00:28:42] I hope she just changed that friend’s name in her- Yeah, I hope she just changed that friend’s name on her phone so she could never do it again. Or just like, changed my name to The Daughter.
Chris [00:28:51] You should. You should be The Daughter forever.
Caller [00:28:56] I should. I should.
Chris [00:28:57] Because honestly it sounds like you stepped up. Why wasn’t she given the haircut if she’s, if she’s on top of everything and you’re not? Sounds like a lot of stuff you are doing that maybe is more of a partner’s responsibility, if you ask me. Speaking to what a good daughter you decided to be in the end. So kudos to you.
Caller [00:29:12] Yeah, I think I think different people have the capability of doing different things. And I, I agree that she kind of sucks sometimes. I don’t think that she does it on purpose, though. I think that certain people just aren’t capable. I have a very empathetic and loving mom. Like my mom is incredible and her parents were incredible. And I learned so many like beautiful things from them. And so I think that it’s been like that helped guide me, right? Like that’s helped guide me. And you, I don’t know, you, you, you hit these, you, you find yourself in these situations and you, you, you go one of two ways, right? Like I could have stayed here and flown out for the funeral and not seen him or flown quickly and went back and not been there through it. But I just, you know, if I ever do have children, like this is how, this is how I would want, you know what I mean? Like, this is how I would want to be treated. This is, I don’t know. I just felt like if I didn’t do it, I would have way more regrets than for anything that I could regret from being there with him. Like, I never get those days back, right? Like. I don’t know.
Chris [00:30:17] I tell you as you’re saying that, you know, you just reminded me that you said you you and your husband aren’t sure if you want to have kids. And now that you’ve lost a parent, you know the pain of losing a parent. But then pretty much everything you’ve said, I’m like, oh, wow, you would be such a good parent. And that’s from someone who’s figuring out how to be a parent on my feet. But I’m like, Oh, I think you would nail it. I think you I think a kid would be very, very well, well, would be very, very lucky, I should say, to have you as a mom.
Caller [00:30:45] Thank you.
Chris [00:30:47] Just seeing you sit down- The way you’ve been. The way you had to be, you know, the way you served, you know, showed such, you know, I mentioned, like, these sort of maternal actions towards your dad in his dying days. And then the way you managed to show so much grace to your childish step mom. I think you’d be good around kids. Sorry. I keep getting mad at your stepmom. I think I’m angrier than you at this point.
Caller [00:31:13] I’ve been doing a lot of therapy over the last couple of months.
Chris [00:31:16] I bet. I bet.
Caller [00:31:17] It helps.
Chris [00:31:18] Do you want to hear some tweets from the audience? The Boston crowd has had some major contributions. Silas says, shutterfly promotional texted me to ask what word best describes your dad. I texted back, Dead. And and got a and got a, Do you need customer service? text back. Oh, my goodness.
Caller [00:31:42] That’s incredible.
Chris [00:31:43] Madison says, I have lost loved ones whose phone numbers I can’t bring myself yet to delete. Um. We’ve got oh, a whole bunch of stuff. Let’s see. Oh, people keep pointing out that I keep looking for ways to throw my glasses, but I don’t have a table to do so here. That’s very true.
Caller [00:32:05] Amazing.
Chris [00:32:05] Laika, who, Did not lose my dad, but I lost my mom to cancer. Every Mother’s Day sucks. Hang in there. And then Madison, put this one too. When I die I hope people I love get together and tell stories like this and connect with each other like this. Hearing this caller’s stories, even of things like the overflowing washer, feel so much like a celebration of life and of your memories of your dad. And then Matthew, with the very nihilistic, I feel like you’ve absorbed the misfortune of like 80 entire lives in the last 80 days. If karma is a real thing, many people will be thanking you. And then people are- that was about the point where with his step mom text and people are aghast. Aghast. M also pointing out that I am bold for using my laptop as a table for an open water bottle. Thank you. Thank you. The Boston accent says, Big loss for step moms everywhere. DJ Bean says, The step mom cheated her the way Bill Parcells treated T.O. in the media. Would only call him The Player. And then Nick wants to be clear too. Nick wanted to be clear. So did your step mom realize that, that the text had gone through?
Caller [00:33:15] Yeah, she definitely did.
Chris [00:33:18] Oh, my God.
Caller [00:33:19] Yeah. Well, I don’t know if she realized it before I texted her, but I texted her back. I’m like, we literally we left the house like 4 minutes to where I pulled over, I read the text, my blood pressure spiked, and I made the decision to go the high road. And I texted back. And we kept driving there because I had stuff to do. I had to pick up medicine and stuff.
Chris [00:33:40] You are a stronger person than most of us. Stronger person than most of us.
Caller [00:33:44] Okay, so this is not even on my list but-.
Chris [00:33:49] What was this- you say it?
Caller [00:33:50] Oh, go ahead. No, you go.
Chris [00:33:52] I was going to say, Alison is asking if you practice yoga because she says, Do you practice yoga? Because it sounds like you do.
Caller [00:33:59] I don’t, but I should. I meditate. I meditate, but I haven’t meditated since the day my dad died. But leading up to him dying, I had like a 128 day meditation streak on a mindfulness app.
Chris [00:34:10] And also Mary Catherine sent a tweet that is making me laugh in a dark way, but probably also a cautionary tale for you and people in your position. I lost my grandma earlier this year. During the wake at her house, my two year old wanted to call her uncle from the house phone. My brother was extremely confused and freaked out when Noni popped up on the phone. So be chill with that, caller. Word of advice from Mary Catherine.
Caller [00:34:39] Okay, so I’ve got a good one that has to do with that and I’ve got a good one that has to do with another. This has been a really messed up few months. Okay. So the day after my dad died, like a day or two after, my step mom had been drinking, she misplaced her phone in the house, and she found his phone and called herself from her phone, but then like forgot she did. So the next day she woke up and there was a text from my dad on her phone.
Chris [00:35:06] And then was she convinced that it was-.
Caller [00:35:08] She was also bored at a couple-
Chris [00:35:09] Like a sign like a sign from beyond? Did she think it was like a sign from the beyond?
Caller [00:35:12] I don’t know. I think she was freaked out for a second. She also had that there’s some, you know, estate stuff that we’re dealing with and she had forwarded a few e-mails from him to us, to me and my brother. And so I like emails from my dad, which like she didn’t warn us that they were coming and that was very freaky.
Chris [00:35:28] Yeah, that’s a bit much. That’s a bit much.
Caller [00:35:31] So I like the environment, so I travel with a water bottle. And on the way home from Florida to L.A., I filled up my water bottle and threw it in my bag and da da da, whatever. And at some point I like realized the water bottle was like leaking a little bit, but I didn’t think too much of it. And then we got home that night after flying and I ruined my iPad and my personal laptop. Just wrecked them. They’re completely waterlogged. My water bottle had just completely flooded my bag and I didn’t realize it.
Chris [00:35:59] But how about those nachos? Best nachos you ever had, right?
Caller [00:36:03] Yeah.
Chris [00:36:03] Oh, no wait. I just made that up. That wasn’t real. Never mind.
Caller [00:36:06] No. No nachos. Oh, God, I wish that were nachos.
Chris [00:36:11] Nachos are good. This way- imagine if we had nachos advertising on the show for the first time. This would be the best time to just cut to the nachos ad. Will we do it? Will we not? Let’s see. Thanks again to all of our callers. Now we’re going to finish off the phone call.
Caller [00:36:34] No, no, nachos. Oh, God, I wish that were nachos. Yeah, no, nachos would have made it a lot better.
Chris [00:36:40] Imagine that.
Caller [00:36:40] It’s like, literally. Yeah.
Chris [00:36:43] You destroyed all your electronic devices because you love the environment so much, which means you’re going to have to buy new versions of those devices. And those batteries. They really fuck up the environment when they get those batteries. Oops.
Caller [00:36:53] Yeah, well, luckily I have AppleCare, so it wasn’t a brand new device, but yeah, I had to swap out a lot of stuff with it.
Chris [00:37:00] That’s good. That’s good.
Caller [00:37:01] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris [00:37:01] You know, I’ve bought AppleCare for every Apple device I’ve ever owned, and then I never use it. And as you say that, I realize I’ve probably wasted thousands of dollars.
Caller [00:37:12] But then when you don’t have it, you need it. And that’s worse, I think. I don’t know. Maybe it’s not.
Chris [00:37:17] Who knows? Who knows?
Caller [00:37:19] Maybe it’s not.
Chris [00:37:20] So what do you- did you move to L.A. for the the show business? Are you in the show business?
Caller [00:37:26] Yeah, I was in the show business before the pandemic. I worked in the live music industry. So I still work for one artist. So that’s- I was in Boston last year, actually at Fenway with an artist.
Chris [00:37:38] At Fenway, so a big artist. You’re not fucking around at places like The Sinclair. You work with artists who perform at baseball stadiums.
Caller [00:37:49] Yeah. So there’s yeah. So there’s one music industry artist that I still work with and everybody else, and everything else that I do is at a different company. I work at a- I work in entertainment at a tech company now.
Chris [00:38:01] And you still work with one artist? I find that pretty intriguing.
Caller [00:38:06] Yeah. Yeah.
Chris [00:38:07] So that’s like a relationship that you feel-
Caller [00:38:09] I love it.
Chris [00:38:10] Yeah, I was going to say that that’s a warm thing.
Caller [00:38:13] Yeah. There’s one person, particularly in this group that I’m really close with, and that this person really values what I do. And so even from the first time we met, he was kind of like, Alright. You. You’re coming with me. And so we still do, we still do everything together, which is great.
Chris [00:38:32] And you travel around, you travel around with this group who sounds like they sell tons of tickets. And you were like working as part of their, like, support infrastructure organization type stuff?
Caller [00:38:43] I do like creative tour production.
Chris [00:38:45] Whoa, that sounds cool.
Caller [00:38:47] So yeah, I try not to travel. But they will, at some point they’re going to be in the city that my dad is buried in, which is not where I grew up. And so I’m kind of debating like, do I fly out and see them and then also visit him at the grave? Because at some point I’ll need to go back home for the first time since he’s passed and visit him. And like, do I want to, you know, bookend it with something that’s, like, actually really positive?
Chris [00:39:12] Yeah.
Caller [00:39:13] Which is this thing that I’ve worked on.
Chris [00:39:14] That could be a full circle thing.
Caller [00:39:17] Let me ask you. Let me ask you.
Caller [00:39:19] He also loved that artist. Yeah sure.
Chris [00:39:20] He loved that artist?
Caller [00:39:23] He- my dad did, and they loved- they had met him and they really loved him and stuff.
Chris [00:39:27] Is that- did that artist wind up on the playlist?
Caller [00:39:32] They- on your- oh, on my Dad’s playlist? Wait, on my dad’s playlist that I played for him when he was dying?
Chris [00:39:38] Yeah.
Caller [00:39:39] Uh no. It was more like older songs.
Chris [00:39:44] Got it. Now, when you’re traveling with a band that’s big enough to be to be doing shows at Fenway, that’s, like, a real good life, right? Because I tour around, but, like, I drove myself. And last night, I was driving. I did New Haven last night. The show was pretty good. It was okay. And then I said, I’m going to do a little bit of the driving. And now, because what I like to do sometimes is I’ll drive at night after a show and just find a hotel, find a cheap hotel out on the highway and, you know, like some $80 hotel room and then just crash there. And then I can spend more of the next day walking around the city I’m in. And last night, I went I went to- I’m not kidding, seven different hotels that were sold out along the highway. And at like number three or four, I was like, wait, what’s going on? And they were like, Oh, well, Dave Matthews is playing not too far from here. So every hotel room is just overrun by Dave Matthews Band fans. And I have to tell you, nothing makes you feel less successful than not being able to get hotel rooms because of a surge of fans of someone far more successful. Like all I want is one of the hotel rooms, and it sounds like you’re working for some of the artists who are on that side of the fence. That must be nice. I ate at Tasty Burger before the show. I met some people who were coming to the show. They’re like, You’re eating a Tasty Burger? I was like, Yeah. They’re like, Yeah, that’s good. That’s real Boston. And I was like, That sounds cool. That’s good. And I ate at Tasty Burger.
Caller [00:41:13] Yeah, when I started working in music, I worked for like really a lot smaller artists and like, you know, interned at companies and did the whole thing and kind of like built my career from the ground up. So the first tour that I ever went on, it was me and four, four people in the band that I was working for. And I did every job that wasn’t on stage. And we literally, the four of us would spend the night in one hotel room with like two beds and a cot. Like, we would just- we would use this giant as like one pot or one burner pot thing that we traveled with to like make a giant thing of spaghetti. And that’s what we would eat. Like, that was when Subway was doing five dollar footlongs.
Chris [00:41:51] That’s more how I roll.
Caller [00:41:52] We’d get one and then that was both of both of our meals for the day. So it’s even though that this is sort of like the life that I live now in entertainment, it’s not for, you know, I started at the you know, at the very, very beginning of like, you know, sleeping in a van in the dead of summer kind of thing.
Chris [00:42:10] That’s good. And now you’re throwing out the first pitch at Fenway. I got to tell you, Caller, people in the crowd really want to know who the artist is. They are guessing. Madison says, Okay, is she talking about the Jonas Brothers? I need to know. Meredith says, Can we know who the artist is? Probably not, right? Oh, and then there’s, there’s more. Is it Dead and Co. Feels painfully ironic now but they’re great if it’s them.
Caller [00:42:39] God, I wish it was.
Chris [00:42:40] A very, very Boston tweet here, Natalie saying, Please let it be New Kids on the Block. New Kids on the Block aren’t still by Fenway, are they? They are?
Caller [00:42:49] They sure are. Yeah.
Chris [00:42:50] They play Fenway? Good for them. Good for them. Samantha says, Tasty Burger is the shit though. For real. That’s good. Martin says, Good time for an ad break about hotel booking apps.
Caller [00:43:04] Exactly. Well, somebody, somebody might have guessed it. So.
Chris [00:43:11] Someone might have guessed it?
Caller [00:43:14] Yeah. That’s what I’ll say.
Chris [00:43:16] Oh, don’t get more specific and now everyone can just in their mind wonder if you work for New Kids on the Block or the Jonas Brothers.
Caller [00:43:27] (LAUGHS).
Chris [00:43:28] All right. I’m not saying. Oh, you’re laughing so hard because you’re so close to getting caught.
Caller [00:43:35] I mean, it’s, yeah. I’m having fun here.
Chris [00:43:42] And then calling this Amy in the crowd tweeted, My partner’s last conversation with his mom, she said, When I die, I’m going to haunt you.
Caller [00:43:52] No!
Chris [00:43:53] So sometimes when he’s sad, now I say, Ooooohhhh.
Caller [00:44:00] That’s really messed up. Did the mom know that she was dying?
Chris [00:44:06] I don’t know. Amy, you got to tweet and let us know. Or was it like.
Caller [00:44:10] Please let me know.
Chris [00:44:11] When I die, I’m going to haunt you. And then hit by a bus.
Caller [00:44:14] That? Oh, my god. That would be so ominous and brilliant.
Chris [00:44:19] Jodie is also suggesting- great ad. Now people are pitching ad breaks. Let’s get some Father’s Day gift ads in this episode. Ooh, that’s dark. Ooh, that’s dark.
Caller [00:44:30] Or like 1-800-FLOWERS.com.
Chris [00:44:33] I mean Storyworth. I did Storyworth with my dad. And I do think about it. I’m glad that we did it before he passed because I got a bunch of his stories written down that I never knew. Um. Shout out to Storyworth.
Caller [00:44:43] How how have you spent, like your father’s day’s since your dad died?
Chris [00:44:49] My dad is alive.
Caller [00:44:51] Oh, I thought you said- oh, cause you said before he died. Got it. Dang it.
Chris [00:44:55] Yeah.
Caller [00:44:55] Sorry. Not dang it for you. Dang it for like, that’s embarrassing.
Chris [00:44:58] Yeah. I mean, I’m praying that you don’t know something I don’t, but my father was alive as of yest- I think I talked to him two days ago, so. Yeah. And I think I would’ve heard. I think somebody would’ve told me.
Caller [00:45:12] Your mom’s just waiting to call you until after the show, like, You’re never gonna guess who died.
Chris [00:45:16] Let’s not even. Can we not even? Caller. Father’s Day is tomorrow.
Caller [00:45:19] God forbid. No, your dad’s gonna live.
Chris [00:45:20] Can we not? And I’m going to give you a lot of credit. And I’m going to say something right now to this Boston crowd. When this call started, a whole bunch of you were like, Fuck, this is my Saturday night. And now you’re all laughing your asses off. And that’s because of this caller. That’s because this caller. You made it work, caller. You made it work.
Caller [00:45:39] I’m like, I’m smiling. My cheeks, my cheeks hurt. Like, it’s nice because it’s like, I want to, like, take- and then my dad was a really fun person. He was a really funny person. And so taking, you know, taking that levity into things, like and yes, there’s like super, super fucking dark days, you know? But taking that levity as I go is, is helping. It’s definitely helping. And like knowing people, I mean even in the audience, there are so many people who have lost their parents. Like, that is- it’s so comforting. And I don’t think it’s something that everyone talks about.
Chris [00:46:10] There are. There’s a few things that we still just don’t talk about that much. And then when other people start talking about them and you’re in a room, you go, Oh, and now nine other people are talking about it. It’s, it’s, it is weird. We are still kind of like stuffy and puritanical in a lot of ways, right? Andrew sent a tweet that says, My wife is a medium. She will haunt me.
Caller [00:46:32] D.J. Bean says, She said, yeah to New Kids on the Block playing Fenway way too fast. The crowd seems to be in agreement that you were way too quick on the draw. That an L.A. resident wouldn’t just-.
Caller [00:46:43] Way too quick.
Chris [00:46:44] An L.A. resident in 2022 wouldn’t be like, Yeah, actually, they did play Fenway, actually. I keep an encyclopedic knowledge of who plays Fenway even though I live in Los Angeles, so what? Hahahaha. Leave me alone. My dad’s dead and my step mom fucking sucks. Leave me alone. Madison says, If it’s the Jonas Brothers, tell them I love them. Or don’t. You don’t know me. And that would be weird. And then Amy. Amy, whose partner was- whose partner’s mom said that said, this is- I’m quoting the tweet here. Yes. She knew she was dying. Dot, dot, dot. Oooohhhh.
Caller [00:47:19] I want to be friends with Amy. She sounds real fun. Oh gosh.
Chris [00:47:27] Oh, boy. And now here’s the thing I’m going to ask you, and I don’t know why.
Caller [00:47:31] Okay.
Chris [00:47:31] But who knows what it’ll lead to?
Caller [00:47:33] Let’s go.
Chris [00:47:34] Alison asks this question. Caller, if it your dad’s personality could be any type of potato cooked any way, what would it be?
Caller [00:47:50] Oh, gosh. Okay. Any kind of potato. I feel like it’d be like potato skins. Because they feel like really layered and really great, but also like sometimes you want to, like, take certain things off the top a little bit. Like you’re just like, yeah, I don’t really need this to enjoy this. Or like, I need to dunk this in something else to have it be what I want it to be.
Chris [00:48:18] What an amazing what an amazing answer. Like, I know what you mean.
Caller [00:48:24] We practiced before.
Chris [00:48:25] Sometimes potato skins are exactly what you want. And then sometimes you’re like, do they need do we need the bacon and the cheese and the sour cream and the chives? Can we, okay, let’s lose one of these things. It’s a little much all at once.
Caller [00:48:35] Like, were the chives going bad? Why? Why are there so many chives? Yeah.
Chris [00:48:38] Yeah, too many chives. That is. Now that you mention it, you don’t see chives as prominent anywhere except on potato skins, right? That’s the most prominent use of chives you’ll ever see is on potato skins.
Caller [00:48:51] I think so, yeah. Like, why so many?
Chris [00:48:53] Not a sentence I expected to say at the beginning of this call.
Caller [00:48:56] Yeah. Yeah. You’re like, oh, your dad’s dead. Did you know there are a lot of chives on baked potato skins?
Chris [00:49:02] Yeah. Yeah, I didn’t see it going that way.
Caller [00:49:06] Yeah. Me either.
Chris [00:49:06] That’s also someone who has the amazing name on Twitter of Lisa Pizza said, Just went to get a beer and the bartender is very confused as to what this show is. Asked me, is he on a phone call right now?
Caller [00:49:24] Well done, bartender.
Chris [00:49:34] Welcome to my career.
Caller [00:49:38] That’s fun. Overall having fun here. Hopefully.
Chris [00:49:41] I’m glad we’re having fun. And I’m glad- you know what? I’m glad that we’re, you’re airing out your experience, getting it off your chest, celebrating some aspects of your dad, venting some of the parts that sound really horrible, and having some laughs right before Father’s Day, because I know it’s going to be a tough one and I’m glad to get these laughs in now.
Caller [00:49:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. Prepping for this weekend has been weird. I’m pretty braced. I’m debating deleting social media off my phone.
Chris [00:50:09] Yeah, I bet. I bet. Good day to take social media off the phone. Are you have you thought about any activities, anything you’re going to go do to distract yourself? Go on a hike? Everyone in Los Angeles loves hikes, right?
Caller [00:50:21] Oh, God. Why would you want to go outside and be near people? Because people are like, Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been? I’m like my dad. My dad’s dead. I was with my dad while he died. That’s- I’m not a good conversationalist these days. That’s it. But I, the other day I found a TV show that is absolutely trash, but has brought me so much joy. And so I was like bingeing it earlier this week and have three episodes left in the series, season, whatever. And that’s I’m saving that for tomorrow, so, but if I don’t want to do anything.
Chris [00:50:52] What’s the TV show?
Caller [00:50:52] Okay, it’s a really, really show. It’s called Love in the Jungle. It’s on Discovery Plus.
Chris [00:50:57] Is anybody familiar with Love in the Jungle on Discovery Plus? I think one person in the crowd said, yes.
Caller [00:51:05] One person.
Chris [00:51:06] What is Love in the Jungle on Discovery Plus?
Caller [00:51:08] As quickly as. Okay, okay. So there’s these people. It’s like, I think 12 people. And they get sent- they pick what animal they feel most represents who they are. Right, so they’re like, I’m a butterfly. I’m a tiger.
Chris [00:51:23] Noooooooo.
Caller [00:51:23] We’re off to a really good start. So then they have these necklaces with their animal on it and their name on the other side. They get dropped off in this like quote unquote watering hole and they are not allowed to speak to each other. And so they’re like, kind of like, mm hmm. And like grunting and stuff. And then at some point there’s a (MAKES SOUND) and they they follow the sound of the whatever. And they get presented with this thing called a mating ritual. And so they they have this challenge that is akin to what you would do in the jungle. So like, okay, this animal would dance like- a flamingo would do this. And so they’re like the girls like cover themselves in like paint and like feathers and do like a dance. Then the guys pick, like, which the best dancer is, and that person is the Alpha.
Chris [00:52:13] Et tu, Discovery Channel? Even the Discovery Channel’s making bullshit like this now?
Caller [00:52:19] And there’s also, like a David Attenborough style narrator. And he’ll be like, The tiger has, you know, and it’s just-
Chris [00:52:26] So they refer to the people as their anim- their chosen animal avatars?
Caller [00:52:31] Oh, they absolutely do. It is like the hardest I’ve laughed. And then whoever is the alpha gets to pick two people from the opposite gender to take on a date. And then they can talk. And then at the end of each night, there’s like a ceremony where they like they offer another person like their necklace. And if the person gives them their necklace, then they get to go back to the den together. But if not, then like, they get rejected and like, it’s just, it’s like the weirdest, craziest thing. I don’t watch. I watch a different reality TV show, but I don’t watch any like competition reality TV shows. I don’t know why, it’s brought me so much joy.[00:53:08] So you show up in the jungle. You’re not allowed to talk. You’re like, I picked a turtle, so you got to crawl around on all fours like you’re a turtle and, like, go out in the sun when it’s warm like a turtle. And then you got to be like, I want to go on a date with the fucking honey badger. And then you go, and you just grunt at each other?.
Caller [00:53:24] Yeah, but you can’t even say that. You point. You just. You just point. You’re like. But when you go on a date, you can talk, but it’s like an hour. And then you go back to the watering hole and you cannot talk again. Unless you do the necklace thing and go back to their den.
Chris [00:53:38] I have pitched so many TV shows that have been so soundly rejected that had heart and thoughtfulness. And it’s like, no, we’re going to make these assholes dress up as- this asshole’s gonna pretend to be a fucking Komodo dragon, get all horny for-
Caller [00:53:53] Dumb it down. You just got to dumb it down. But no, I don’t. I don’t know really what else to do. You know, I’ve talked to a few friends whose parents have passed and they’re like, Oh, my dad and I always like ate this kind of ice cream or did or drank this thing together or did the like, and we don’t have that really because, you know, we haven’t lived together in 20 years. So I don’t know what else to do this weekend.
Chris [00:54:19] So you’re just going to watch? I have to ask… Just cuz I’m piecing some things together here. You live in Southern California. Love in the Jungle. Marijuana is legalized. Is that part of the process with Love in the Jungle? It sounds like a show that would be much, much better. It’s not.
Caller [00:54:38] No. I mean maybe this weekend I’ll try that. But I swear, I was like stone cold sober watching this. Just my husband was literally like, I don’t think you’ve been this happy in two months.
Chris [00:54:47] This goddamn show making me as mad as your stepmom did. Love in the Jungle? That’s fucking insane, that show. I hope that some people get married off that show, and then someday they have kids so the kids can turn around and be like, How did you meet, Mom and Dad? And then the mom has to be like, well I just really closely identified with being a zebra, I guess. And your dad really had, like, a real dingo energy about him. So we grunted and panted at each other around a watering hole on Discovery Plus. And now you’re born. You’re here.
Caller [00:55:21] And now you’re born. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris [00:55:23] Wow.
Caller [00:55:24] I mean, I think because like I, I tend to read a lot and, you know, whatever, but sometimes you just need something that numbs your mind, right? Like sometimes you just want to consume media that makes you not think.
Chris [00:55:34] And I’ve made I’ve actually made a lot of idiotic TV so who am I to judge? I mean, I once.
Caller [00:55:39] Yeah. There you go.
Chris [00:55:39] The most popular episode of my TV show is titled, What’s in the Dumpster? So who the fuck am I to judge? But that one’s particularly shocking.
Caller [00:55:48] And what? And what was in the dumpster?
Chris [00:55:52] What’s that?
Caller [00:55:54] I said, what was in the dumpster?
Chris [00:55:56] Do you really want the spoiler? You want the spoiler?
Caller [00:55:59] No, I’ll watch it.
Chris [00:55:59] You should watch it. I’ll say, you’re not going to believe what’s in the goddamn dumpster. We really pulled that one off.
Caller [00:56:07] Is it my dad? (CROWD CHEERS) I would pay money to see your face right now.
Chris [00:56:33] Wow. You go hard. You are. You are such a good mix of owning it and still clearly in emotional denial to be able to pull that off.
Caller [00:56:47] Oh, God. Oh, God.
Chris [00:56:53] Let’s see. Mare in the crowd said, Would admitting that you met on that show be less embarrassing than admitting that you met on Tinder? Good question. I don’t know. Steven says, This show, caller, it sounds like you’re just watching furry smut.
Caller [00:57:12] They’re not in costumes, but yeah.
Chris [00:57:13] Someone in the crowd asking if my stomach is okay. You’re very observant. It is not. It is not. But I’ll get through it. A lot of people in the crowd noticing this.
Caller [00:57:20] Oh, no.
Chris [00:57:21] It’s okay. It’s okay. The Boston accent says it feels like the caller made this show up and I refuse to Google this and confirm if it’s real. And Madison says, Wait, I desperately want to see this show now. Viewership is going to skyrocket when this episode drops. I just know it. Ned says, Why is that show on Discovery? And I’m inclined- Discovery was like the boring, nerdy channel when I grew up.
Caller [00:57:48] Yeah. Well, it’s Discovery Plus, which is like all the trash TV shows. Like like 90 Day Fiance is why I pay for Discovery Plus. I really just like trash TV, I think.
Chris [00:58:04] And Samantha says, caller, are you sure you didn’t grow up in Boston? This is classic any humor. And caller, Amy wants you to know, I had my head in my hands after you said what was in the dumpster? But apparently you did get a standing ovation in the crowd while I was- my head was in the hand. So…
Caller [00:58:20] I found my people.
Chris [00:58:26] Indeed. Indeed. All right, caller, we have 5 minutes left. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling through it. And I’m really impressed that you’ve been able to talk to us and give us so many laughs tonight. And I know tomorrow’s going to be a hard day for you. So I hope that that TV- all jokes about how insane that show sounds, I hope that that show treats you well and helps you take your mind off stuff for a while.
Caller [00:58:52] Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, it’s. It’s very strange, you know, and I think over the next- it’s weird cuz it’s the first, right? And over the next year, it’s going to be like first holidays, first new year, first birthday. You know, my birthday was not too long before he passed and I obviously knew he was going to pass at that point. And so I knew when he was wishing me happy birthday that it was going to be the last time he wished me happy birthday. You know, like so that was like one of the few lasts that I knew was going to be last. But now I’m hitting all the firsts, you know? And so that’s I think that’s part of what makes this weekend really strange.
Chris [00:59:34] Yeah. Yeah, I bet. I bet.
Caller [00:59:43] Yeah. I don’t know. Um. It’s weird, too, because I think people don’t always know what to say or what to do. And that’s totally fine. I feel like you can’t ever know that until you go through it, right? Like, I have tried to comfort people who’ve gone through this before and I would have never been able to to do it or to understand it the way that I do now. It’s almost like a flip switches.
Chris [01:00:07] That makes total sense. That makes total sense.
Caller [01:00:10] Yeah.
Chris [01:00:15] How’s your husband holding up? How’s your husband been through all this?
Caller [01:00:20] He’s a trooper. He’s. You know, I was like, we’re going to go. And no questions asked. He was it was like, if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. And he was like, no, I’m going to go with you. And he’s held up really well through all of that and has been just like a complete pillar of love and support. And, oh, God, I’m so grateful. Like, he’s, you know, there’s days were he’ll- I mean, I usually cook and stuff and I haven’t done a lot of anything in the last couple of months. And so he’ll just go get food or he’ll make me something or he’ll bring me something to make sure that I’m, like, eating and make sure that, like, if I can’t get up and walk the dog that like, I know that that’s okay, and make sure if I need to stay inside and watch Love in the Jungle that that’s okay. He’s been really, really encouraging to just, like, care for myself and to care for me when I can’t care for myself.
Chris [01:01:08] Sounds like a good guy. Sounds like a good guy.
Caller [01:01:10] Yeah. Yeah. He’s a keeper. He’s a good one. Yeah.
Chris [01:01:16] How long you guys been married?
Caller [01:01:19] Almost three years.
Chris [01:01:20] Three years? And was your dad at the wedding?
Caller [01:01:24] So we eloped.
Chris [01:01:25] You eloped? Where’d you do it?
Caller [01:01:30] Yeah. Hawaii.
Chris [01:01:31] That’s the way to do it.
Caller [01:01:33] Yeah. Yeah. We were going on vacation anyway, and everyone was like, are you guys gonna get married? We were engaged. And then we were finally like, should we just get married? And so we just did.
Chris [01:01:44] Which island were you on?
Caller [01:01:48] Oahu.
Chris [01:01:49] Okay. This is just actual chitchat at the end of the show.
Caller [01:01:54] Yeah, I like it. Well because it’s going to cut off at, you know, we’re gonna get like 20 seconds left and be like, all right, bye! And can’t be in like a deep dead dad thought at that point, I don’t think.
Chris [01:02:02] Well, we’re on at under 2 minutes. So if you have any last second, deep dead dad thoughts, now’s the time to get them out.
Caller [01:02:11] Oh my gosh, you know, I said he had brain cancer. And one thing that really stuck with me is like I would kiss his head every day. And the idea that there was cancer on the other side of that was really hard for me to be like, how unfair is that? And I think through the whole thing, one thing that really stuck with me is like, you can’t save people from what they’re going through. But you, you know, you have to just like love them through it. And it was really, really hard. But I knew that whatever I went through, would- I’d be able to heal from after. And to like bring him that comfort in that time was something that I would never regret.
Chris [01:02:45] I do want you to know that Jodi says, All of us in the Dead Dad Club are there with you tomorrow. Amy tells me, Chris, the best toilets in Harvard Square in the Harvard Co-op.
Caller [01:02:59] Very important after this. Do you have time before the next show?
Chris [01:03:04] I’ll be fine. CRO said, I almost brought my friend tonight whose dad just died, but she had a date instead. Better choice or no? Who’s to say? Um. And Gretchen wants to know, is your husband a Jonas brother?
Caller [01:03:19] Oh, gosh, he’s not. But he is in NSYNC. No, I’m just kidding.
Chris [01:03:24] Oh, can you imagine if you dropped that with- and Scott says, actually, the best toilets are at the Charles Hotel. So thank you for that, Scott. They also have toilets here at the venue, everybody. And then I’ll tell you what, Madison quoted you and just said, You can’t save people from what they’re going through, but you have to love them through it. And I think that’s a beautiful note to end on.
Caller [01:03:45] Yeah. Well, thank you all so much for listening and laughing and, you know, and doing this with me today. This was this was perfect.
Chris [01:03:52] Caller, thank you so much. And I hope you get through tomorrow with a relatively relatively okay and and that you enjoy your show and may may all the animals find love tomorrow and may you’ be met with so much love in your life. Thank you for calling. What a what an incredible call.
Caller [01:04:11] Have a good night.
Chris [01:04:12] Thank you so much. Caller, thank you so much for calling and sharing your story and trusting me and trusting the listeners. And thank you to everybody who listens over the years. It means the world. This show was produced by Anita Flores. It’s engineered by Ryan Connor. Our theme song is by ShellShag. Go to ChrisGeth.com if you want to know more about me. And wherever you’re listening, there’s a button that says something like subscribe, favorite, or follow and it helps the show so much when you hit that button, so please consider doing so. If you want our latest merch, go to PodSwag.com. There’s mugs and shirts and posters, all kinds of stuff. If you want your episodes ad free, check out Stitcher Premium at Stitcher.com/premium. Use the promo code “stories” for a one month free trial.