Hanukkah With Fidel
Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People #123 July 30, 2018
A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers occasionally interrupt.
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL).
Hear the Episode
[00:01:32] CHRIS: Hello to everybody who enjoys a good public park. It's Beautiful Anonymous one hour. One phone call. No names, no holds barred.
[00:01:45] THEME MUSIC: I'd rather go one on one, I think it'll be more fun, and I'll get to know you, and you'll get to know me.
[00:01:57] CHRIS: Hello, everybody. It's Chris Gethard welcoming you to another episode of Beautiful Anonymous. I'm recording this right now. You might notice the sound tone is different. I'm in a hotel room in Montreal, Canada. I'm at the Just for Laughs Festival. Me and Jared are up here. In just a few short hours we're about to do a live taping of Beautiful Anonymous. I'm very excited. People have been stopping me on the street saying, "I'm coming." That is hugely flattering. I am... I am looking forward to the performance. For anybody listening to this in the future, thank you for coming. And it was so nice meeting you afterwards. So, yeah, thanks for that. Last week's episode, I talked to someone from Northern Ireland, someone who grew up in the county where my grandfather grew up. It was very meaningful to me. Thank you to everybody who listened to it. I enjoyed reading all the feedback. I will say I got one tweet that was really it was so weird, so weird just remembering how small the world is. During the episode I was trying to remember, I said I think some distant family of mine owns a bar and this guy tweets at me and goes, "hey, is the bar called Tomney's? Were you trying to think of Tomney's?" I go, "Yeah, that's it!" He goes, "Yeah, I live 8 minutes from Tomney's." So thanks to the guy, some guy who listens to this show every week who lives 8 minutes away from where my family's roots are. What a weird thing. This week's episode. So excited to see what you guys think. It's going to be a controversial one over at Beautiful Anonymous the community on Facebook, which, by the way, we're coming up on 30,000 members. We are past 29,000 members joined today. How cool would it be to able to say we got 30,000 members in there if you're on Facebook. Beautiful Anonymous the community join up. Not everybody likes the format changes with Beautiful Anonymous, but I tell you, I think I have high hopes for this one. Here's what we did. We sent out a thing instead of a phone call, we said, "hey, if you're in New York and you want to talk, email us, pitch us your story that way." Jared and Harry went through all these pitches. There were about, I think, 70 or 80 that came in. And what we did was we said, meet us in Madison Square Park at such and such a time. And I got there. Jared had set up a couple of microphones at a table and we just sat in a public park. I sat there and waited and eventually stranger sat down across from me and said, "yeah, I'm... I'm the person that they said should come." And we sat in Madison Square Park at 23rd Street, right where Fifth Avenue and Broadway meet. And for an hour we just talked and there were hundreds, probably thousands of people throughout the course of the hour milling about, walking past. So you're going to hear a conversation that I think is just like any other conversation we have here on Beautiful Anonymous, except it was very intense, face to face eye contact. And it's kind of a I think a very cool audio experiment and a different kind of Beautiful Anonymous, but I'm very proud of it. I'm very excited to see what you think. And also this person.... I can't say caller this time... this person has a hell of a story. Wait til you hear where she's from, where she's been, what she's looking at to do, love life all of it, all of it was just such, so cool, just such a cool person with such a cool story that I was happy to hear. Can't wait to hear what you guys think. And we're not going to pick up in progress. You're going to hear just me sitting in a park nervously waiting for a stranger to arrive. I hope you enjoy it.
[00:06:22] CHRIS: So I'm going to just... start rambling. Are we recording now? OK. So, I'm currently in Madison Square Park. It's a very crowded park. It's a very sunny day. There's hundreds of people walking by. Usually, Beautiful Anonymous is known for its intimacy, just one on one on a phone. You just know it's me and Jared and Harry listening. Now there's... there's hundreds of people around. There's gonna be a lot of eye contact. I'm not the best at eye contact. I think there's a few people who recognize me sitting on a bench, they're sitting across from me, grinning. There's some people directly behind me at the table, they're eating lunch. Off to my left to some sort of children's playgroup with a number of kids running around maybe five feet away. Got all these people walking around. It's very interesting because I live in New York City, so I'm constantly... there's always, you know, everybody walks. There's hundreds of people passing. And Beautiful Anonymous really makes me think about, well, every one of these people has a story. And now I'm just waiting. One of these people, I don't know whom, is going to sit down and just talk to me in person for an hour. I don't know what's appropriate. There's some social conventions that happen when you meet in person that I don't ever have to worry about on the podcast. I can't ask her her name. So I'm just going to, I guess, talk with a stranger who's they're going to walk away. And that'll be our sole interaction in life until we, like, run into each other at some weird bar, some weird neighborhood like Long Island City, which is a fine neighborhood. I don't know why I just called it out as weird, it'd just be weird to run into someone there. I'm barely ever there. You can hear the fine sounds of New York City ambulances and police behind us. It's a real slice of life. The sounds of New York City. Again, there are small children. I'm wondering, you know, some of these podcasts are very funny. Some of them are extremely dark. If this is a dark one, how do we handle that when there's, I'm not kidding, hundreds of people walking by within eye sight. So everybody knows the physical setup. We've actually commandeered a metal table that people are supposed to eat lunch or a welcome to eat lunch at. We've got these microphones, big furry microphone covers, very visually obtrusive, I would say. You can hear there's a loud man, classic New York City loud guy walking by. We also got an i-Pad set. Oh, hi. Someone's here. So nice to see you. How are you? I'm sorry, I can't ask your name. I know that's uncomfortable.
[00:08:54] ATTENDEE: I know, that's fine.
[00:08:56] CHRIS: I'm starting the clock. The clock is on an i-Pad right here. And this is the first time I've done one of these face to face with a human being where I know what you look like. Oh, look at that eye contact. That's new. Oh, and it's good you brought bottles of water. Thank you for that. How are you today?
[00:09:15] ATTENDEE: I'm great. Super happy that I'm doing this.
[00:09:18] CHRIS: Oh, thank you for doing it. I know it is. It's a good experiment. I'm far more socially uncomfortable in person than I am… In the booth. So I'll warn you about that.
[00:09:27] ATTENDEE: You know, this is the first time that I tried to get on the show. I listen to it all the time. But I thought since I'm Cuban…
[00:09:35] CHRIS: Oh, you are?
[00:09:37] ATTENDEE: And I have an accent and it's a little bit hard for me to talk on the phone. I really want to do at the beginning. And now it's like in person. So it's gonna be better for me, and easier.
[00:09:50] CHRIS: OK. Oh, I'm so happy this worked out. Now when you say you're Cuban, are you are you Cuban American or are you from Cuba?
[00:09:57] ATTENDEE: I'm from Cuba. I was born and raised in Cuba.
[00:10:00] CHRIS: That's awesome. I've always wanted to go there.
[00:10:02] ATTENDEE: Yeah, you should go. For sure.
[00:10:03] CHRIS: Yeah. I just got my Irish citizenship. I'm gonna get an Irish passport, and I think that means I can go legally.
[00:10:09] ATTENDEE: That's great.
[00:10:09] CHRIS: Yeah. I don't even have to sneak in, but I hear it's extremely easy to sneak in.
[00:10:13] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I think you have to go through a third country or something like that.
[00:10:16] CHRIS: Canada or Mexico. That's what I've heard.
[00:10:18] ATTENDEE: But, like, some time ago, you could go, with, like... it was possible for Americans to go there. But I don't know what's the status.
[00:10:25] CHRIS: Yeah, I think Trump made it hard again, but it's still pretty easy. And I've heard you can't use American cell phones there or access ATM machines. You gotta bring all your cash with you.
[00:10:37] ATTENDEE: Yes and no, I don't know. It's like there are some rules for that. But I think you can... an ATM you can use for sure. I don't know.
[00:10:48] CHRIS: Yeah. All right. Someday, someday
[00:10:49] ATTENDEE: Someday, someday. We're getting there. We're getting closer.
[00:10:52] CHRIS: When did you when did you come to the States?
[00:10:54] ATTENDEE: Well, I have a long story for that.
[00:10:57] CHRIS: Oh, is that the story? Is that what we're talking about?
[00:10:59] ATTENDEE: That's part of the story, yeah.
[00:11:00] CHRIS: Great, I'm all ears. I'm all ears.
[00:11:02] ATTENDEE: Well, I left Cuba when I was like twenty two/twenty three years old and I moved to the Dominican Republic after finishing school. I went to school for literature and linguistics, and then I moved to the Dominican Republic to live with my parents. And I was there for a while. And then after that. Oh, wait... there. While I was there, I got a job as a ghost screenwriter.
[00:11:28] CHRIS: As a screenwriter? In the Dominican Republic?
[00:11:30] ATTENDEE: Yeah. And that's why I decided to go into films and I became a filmmaker. So after that job was done, I decided to move to Toronto.
[00:11:40] CHRIS: Toronto?
[00:11:41] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:11:41] CHRIS: Beautiful city.
[00:11:42] ATTENDEE: Beautiful. I loved it so much there. I lived there for a while, and then I went back to Dominican Republic to be with my mom because she got sick.
[00:11:51] CHRIS: Oh, no.
[00:11:52] ATTENDEE: Yeah. She got diagnosed with breast cancer.
[00:11:55] CHRIS: I'm so sorry.
[00:11:56] ATTENDEE: And then I stayed there for her surgery and I spent like six months with her. And I decided to, when she got better, I decided to go to Denmark...
[00:12:07] CHRIS: Denmark?
[00:12:07] ATTENDEE: ...to study filmmaking, yeah. Yes.
[00:12:09] CHRIS: So, you've gone everywhere?
[00:12:10] ATTENDEE: So hearing the episode about Christiania was, like...
[00:12:13] CHRIS: Oh, you've been?
[00:12:14] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:12:14] CHRIS: Yeah. Is it as fucked up as it sounded?
[00:12:18] ATTENDEE: It's not. No, no.
[00:12:20] CHRIS: But it's a party, though?
[00:12:20] ATTENDEE: Yeah, yeah, it's nice.
[00:12:22] CHRIS: I gotta go.
[00:12:22] ATTENDEE: But as I have to say, that episode that Danish people are a lot like that on the summer and a lot different in the winter time.
[00:12:32] CHRIS: Oh, wow, so they like thaw out and they party all summer.
[00:12:36] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:12:36] CHRIS: And then it gets real back to business?
[00:12:38] ATTENDEE: I guess. Yeah.
[00:12:39] CHRIS: Yeah. So your mom is OK?
[00:12:41] ATTENDEE: No, she's not, she passed.
[00:12:43] CHRIS: Oh, I'm so sorry.
[00:12:45] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:12:45] CHRIS: You has said when she got better. I'm so sorry I assumed.
[00:12:48] ATTENDEE: She got better at that point. And then I decided to go to Denmark to study and then I went back to DR. I spent like three months with her. And then I decided to come to the States. I moved to Miami first. And I lived there for like two and a half years, but during, like, the first four or six months that I was in Miami she got diagnosed with a brain tumor, which made it really bad for her. Her brain wasn't working properly.
[00:13:25] CHRIS: That's so sad. I'm so sorry.
[00:13:27] ATTENDEE: So, but, I don't know, the stars aligned or something and then she got a visa to go to Miami with me, and then we spent her last months together, which was really nice to let us have a chance to do that. Because at that point I came to the U.S. as a refugee. I crossed the border in that Rainbow Bridge.
but I don't know the stars aligned or something and then she got a visa to go to Miami with me, and then we spent her last months together, which was really nice to let us have a chance to do that. Because at that point I came to the U.S. as a refugee. I crossed the border in that Rainbow Bridge.
[00:13:49] CHRIS: The Rainbow Bridge? I'm not familiar with this.
[00:13:51] ATTENDEE: That's Canada. That's Niagara Falls.
[00:13:54] CHRIS: Niagara Falls?
[00:13:56] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I because the thing is that to come to a the States as a Cuban, it's really hard to get a visa to come here. And laws changed the laws changed, like, I think, three years ago? But I got in before that happened.
[00:14:11] CHRIS: Okay. Two years ago sounds about right. A lot of laws changed two years ago. Oh, we have... sorry for everybody listening. We have a Madison Square Park maintenance man walking by with a very loud walkie talkie. A new thing we don't usually deal with here on the show. I figured I should explain that.
[00:14:29] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I came here to States as a refugee and then I couldn't leave till I got my green card.
[00:14:34] CHRIS: Right.
[00:14:35] ATTENDEE: So I had to say here. And when I heard that my mom got sick. I was like going crazy with this, like putting together a bag to be with her, anything. And then, luckily, she made it to states and we got to spend that.
[00:14:48] CHRIS: Yeah. And my understanding. Pardon my ignorance. I'm going to say a lot of things that are wrong. But my understanding, if I remember right, with Cubans specifically, is it if you can make it to the shores of the US, you can declare for refugees.
[00:15:03] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:15:03] CHRIS: But they will try to stop you from making it to the shore.
[00:15:06] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:15:06] CHRIS: And that's the US Coast Guard that's trying to stop you?
[00:15:08] ATTENDEE: Yeah. Yeah. But the thing is that I came by, like, I walked here. I didn't, like, come in a boat or anything like that.
[00:15:15] CHRIS: You went up north.
[00:15:17] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:15:17] CHRIS: That sounds easier.
[00:15:19] ATTENDEE: It is, but, I mean, it's not that easy to get a visa to go to Canada. But since I was there before and I got invited to the Toronto Film Festival. So that's why I went to Toronto for like a week or two. And then I stayed there for the festival. And then I finally took the decision, because the thing is that, the first time I went to Canada, I was thinking about doing that, but I didn't do it because my mom got sick.
[00:15:43] CHRIS: Right. Right.
[00:15:45] ATTENDEE: So, yeah, that was my second chance to do it.
[00:15:48] CHRIS: So did you know before you went to the film festival? Were you like, "I'm pretty sure I'm going to do this." Or was it while you were up there and you were just like, "screw it, let's go for it?"
[00:15:56] ATTENDEE: It was a mix of both. Yeah.
[00:15:59] CHRIS: Wow. Now, the Toronto Film Festival is a big deal. That's one of the big ones.
[00:16:03] ATTENDEE: Yeah. No, but I didn't go with the film or anything.
[00:16:05] CHRIS: You got invited? You weren't just attending.
[00:16:07] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:16:08] CHRIS: That's cool. So I'm sitting with an artist of some renown.
[00:16:12] ATTENDEE: Not that much. Not really.
[00:16:14] CHRIS: I like it though. All over the world. Study of film. Make your films.
[00:16:19] ATTENDEE: Yeah. So then... Well, after what happened with my mom, I decided to take a break. I quit my job and I went to California for a couple of weeks. And yeah. I went back to Miami and found a job there and started working and focusing on my life. I'm trying to be better because I know that's what my mom would have wanted for me. So, yeah. And I worked there for like two years. And then I got my green card finally. And I decided to quit that one job that was actually really good for me. But I felt like life was, like, life in Miami was everything that I could ask for. And I didn't feel any more challenges coming from the city in general. So I felt like, okay. It's time to, like, make a big change.'
[00:17:18] CHRIS: So is that when you came to New York?
[00:17:19] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:17:20] CHRIS: The city that will always challenge you and crush you and beat you up. Have you found that?
[00:17:26] ATTENDEE: A little bit, yes, but not really. I'm a super positive person. I don't, like, I don't want to give myself any bad luck or anything saying this. But in general, if I try really hard, everything goes well for me.
[00:17:40] CHRIS: There you go. New York's good for people like that. Yeah, it's tough. I've lived here 14 years and it still, still beats me up sometimes. So when did you get your green card, huh?
[00:17:53] ATTENDEE: I got a last year in December.
[00:17:56] CHRIS: Last year. So this is all new.
[00:17:58] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:17:59] CHRIS: So there's all... there's all this stuff about refugees in the news right now. Is that... is that something that concerns you or is it like this stuff with Cuba's a little more straightforward?
[00:18:13] ATTENDEE: Yeah, the things with Cuba that sense are, like, very clear, like right now. It's not that easy to come to the States. But I don't know because it works completely fine for other refugees. Yeah.
[00:18:26] CHRIS: So you don't have to worry too much day to day about them pulling any stuff with your green card or things like that.
[00:18:31] ATTENDEE: No, not right now. Yeah.
[00:18:33] CHRIS: Wow, I would imagine. I mean, I would have.... I know when I see what's happening right now, it's like breaking my heart. And I was born here and I would imagine it's even more intense for you.
[00:18:45] ATTENDEE: I know. Yeah, it is so hard. I don't... sometimes it's, like, it's so weird because when you finally make it here, it's like, especially for Cubans because in Cuba you can not really think... you can think about politics, but you cannot talk about it. And it's like very frustrating. I mean, you you're shaped like that. Your life is that way. And when you finally get out, you want to... you feel the freedom to talk about it but you don't really, like, feel comfortable doing that for some reason because you've been like that your whole life, you know?
[00:19:16] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:19:17] ATTENDEE: So it's kind of weird. And then now you get here and you see that you can finally talk about all these problems, but you don't really want to. You just want to, like, enjoy your life while you can, because I mean, I do it. I still do it. But I understand Cubans that go through that because there are, like, two different kinds of people in that way of Cuban people, here in the States, especially. Some of them talk a lot about what happened in Cuba and some of them just don't want to think about it. And the one I enjoy their life. Does that make sense?
[00:19:49] CHRIS: It does. It does. A lot of people just trying to put that behind them.
[00:19:52] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I know it sounds like a little bit selfish, but when you've had a hard life in Cuba, it's understandable if you want to go that way.
[00:20:00] CHRIS: So can I ask, like, I guess I always just assume that as the world progresses that's happening every place, but it's still very oppressive there in a big way. Is it? And it's Raul Castro is in charge now and he's just as bad?
[00:20:17] ATTENDEE: He's not as bad. I mean, he is bad because everyone that's in the position and that's not changing and everything is bad, you know, but he's like, not the worst. He's not as bad as Fidel I have to say. But I think it's also because not, not because he wants to be good, but because the people in Cuba are starting to do stuff a lot. And are, like, finally, try to find a way to free them, you know?
[00:20:43] CHRIS: Yeah, yeah. So you grew up. It was still really bad. What are the, what are the realities of life there that would just, like, blow my mind.
[00:20:52] ATTENDEE: I don't know.
[00:20:53] CHRIS: Like just hearing that you're not allowed to talk out loud about politics. What happens if you do?
[00:20:58] ATTENDEE: You can talk about politics, you just have to stay on the Castro side, you know.
[00:21:03] CHRIS: So somebody was, is it like, if somebody started talking publicly or even, like, if you talk privately and someone reports you, they might. What happens?
[00:21:12] ATTENDEE: It was a little bit like that before. But when I was born then it was bad at the beginning, like, for the first few years because the socialist thing came down. The USSR. And then... but it got better like around the 2000s.
[00:21:37] CHRIS: And what would they... back then, it was like actual secret police and stuff like that. But you now that's a little more relaxed?
[00:21:43] ATTENDEE: It is a little bit more relaxed, but it's still going on. The same thing. But it's it's a little bit better.
[00:21:50] CHRIS: Right. Right. Right. And how much of it, I've read like, I guess I've read a fair amount just as a curious person. I've also read that there's a weird dichotomy that I've read about. Correct me if I'm wrong, where a lot of Cubans are trying to get to America, but also America's policies towards Cuba keep a flow of money from going in as well. That's a little bit... it's like a catch 22, right? Like if America would take its foot off the gas on some of the sanctions, life would be better there. Right? Is that a thing I've read?
[00:22:25] ATTENDEE: Yeah, it is a little bit like that. It is very complicated because the thing is that the money of the family that got to make it here and they send money to their families that are in Cuba, you know. It fuels a lot of the country, a lot of their economy, economy and the country.
[00:22:43] CHRIS: Is the money coming back?
[00:22:44] ATTENDEE: Yes, a little bit. And but the thing that... they need it. What can you do if you are here and you have money and you want to send that to your family, you know?
[00:22:53] CHRIS: Right.
[00:22:55] ATTENDEE: So, yeah, it's very complicated. And yeah, I don't know. I would prefer to talk more about how I fit here than about how Cuba works. Because honestly there is a lot to read about out there and I don't feel like a lot of people knows how it goes for... I mean of course everyone knows who goes for immigrants here. But for like Hispanics, I don't know. It's hard. It's so hard. Especially if you weren't born here. And if you just, like, because, I don't know, I feel like sometimes people judge you because you have an accent. You're different. You have a different background. And it's so hard.
[00:23:44] CHRIS: What have you run into?
[00:23:45] ATTENDEE: I don't know. It's just in general, I feel like people can sometimes get tired of trying to understand, you know?
[00:23:51] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:23:52] ATTENDEE: And they gave up. And that's really sad, especially because if you were born speaking a different language, you think that way. And then when you make it here, you have to explain what's going through your mind in a new another language. And that's like two steps harder...
[00:24:13] CHRIS: So you translate in your own head.
[00:24:15] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly. And it's not always translated because at some point you get to think in English, too. But it's still harder, you know. So I don't know. Sometimes I feel like people should be more patient.
[00:24:26] CHRIS: Did you speak English growing up at all?
[00:24:28] ATTENDEE: Not really.
[00:24:30] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I mean, I knew a few words, but compared to now, no.
[00:24:35] CHRIS: Right. Wow.
[00:24:35] ATTENDEE: Actually, when I made it to Canada it was super funny because I felt like, "yeah, I can handle this. I can speak English, of course I can." But then when I got there, I was like, "oh, no, I don't know how to speak English!"
[00:24:47] CHRIS: And when you went to Denmark. What language were you... was in English there?
[00:24:53] ATTENDEE: It was an international school, so everything was in English. Yeah.
[00:24:57] CHRIS: So you had to... Oh, there's garbage hitting us. Oh, no, that's OK. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We're just participating in, like, a hipster art projects over here. I'm so sorry that.
[00:25:10] CHRIS: I think when garbage flies through the air and starts hitting me, bouncing off my legs, that's as good a point as any to take a little bit of a break, right. Take a little bit of a breather. We got ads. Use the promo codes if you like what you're hearing. Really helps the show when you do. We'll be back after this with more Beautiful Anonymous.
[00:25:32] [AD BREAK]
[00:28:06] CHRIS: Beautiful. Thanks again to all of our sponsors. Now let's get back to the not quite phone call.
[00:28:12] CHRIS: So you had to... Oh, there's garbage hitting us. Oh, no, that's OK. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We're just participating in, like, a hipster art project over here. I'm so sorry. Oh, no, that's fine. Totally fine. That was awkward. That was I felt. I feel bad.
[00:28:31] ATTENDEE: It's funny more than awkward.
[00:28:33] CHRIS: Well, I had to react so people would understand why we both stopped talking. So it's that garbage started hitting us in the wind. But I didn't mean... I was totally fine. There's nothing to worry about here. Oh, you didn't ruin anything. If anything, it gives it more of like a natural slice to... a slice of life feel. Everybody will really believe that we're in New York City when you get hit by flying garbage. Right. Yeah. Look at that. We charmed our way out. You put your sunglasses on during the awkward moment.
[00:28:59] ATTENDEE: I know. I mean, I can show you my eyes again if you want.
[00:29:03] CHRIS: Oh, no, I wasn't sure if that was sun or if you were like, "oh, no, it was awkward, I better hide."
[00:29:08] ATTENDEE: No, no it was the sun. No, I have nothing to hide.
[00:29:09] CHRIS: Fair. That's fair. I love that. Yeah, that's cool. This is cool. Is there... is there, like, a little Cuba in New York? Is there like an equivalent?
[00:29:20] ATTENDEE: Not really. That actually is in Miami. Little Havana. I don't heard about it.
[00:29:24] CHRIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
[00:29:26] ATTENDEE: I feel like Miami is to Cubans what New York is to Dominicans. Because we have... also since I lived for a while in the Dominican Republic I feel identified with that culture too. So we have like a little Dominican town here in New York. You know.
[00:29:44] CHRIS: Where's that?
[00:29:45] ATTENDEE: Washington Heights?
[00:29:47] CHRIS: Washington Heights, of course. Of course. Yeah.
[00:29:49] ATTENDEE: And that's where I live.
[00:29:50] CHRIS: Oh, you live in Washington Heights?
[00:29:51] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:29:53] CHRIS: That's cool. And did you go there saying, "I'm used to Dominican culture? I feel like there'll be some of that there?" Or was it just random, you end up there?
[00:30:00] ATTENDEE: Not really. When I moved from Miami, I was seeing someone here. I was dating this guy and then we moved in... I moved in with him. And he was living there. But it didn't work.
[00:30:12] CHRIS: That's a bummer.
[00:30:13] ATTENDEE: Yeah, it didn't like... we broke up like two weeks after that.
[00:30:16] CHRIS: Really? So you got to New York and then you were like, ain't happening.
[00:30:21] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:30:22] CHRIS: Wow.
[00:30:23] ATTENDEE: And then I moved, like, half a block away from where I was living with him.
[00:30:26] CHRIS: So you still run into this guy?
[00:30:28] ATTENDEE: No, no. He moved also.
[00:30:29] CHRIS: He moved? Is he still in New York, or is he out of here?
[00:30:33] ATTENDEE: I think he's living in New Jersey now.
[00:30:35] CHRIS: Oh, you don't even... you don't even care.
[00:30:37] ATTENDEE: I don't care. No, I don't. I don't want to know anything about him.
[00:30:39] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah. You got him blocked on all the social media?
[00:30:42] ATTENDEE: No, no, I wouldn't do that.
[00:30:44] CHRIS: OK. No, I've never been able to say this on an episode of Beautiful Anonymous... I love your tattoo!
[00:30:50] ATTENDEE: Thank you so much.
[00:30:51] CHRIS: That's a bold one.
[00:30:51] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:30:52] CHRIS: Am I allowed to explain what it is? You know, because it's a little identifying...
[00:30:56] ATTENDEE: Oh, yeah, of course! I don't mind. Go for it, go for it.
[00:30:57] CHRIS: Well, it appears to be a naked lady with things growing out of her. Plants growing out of her.
[00:31:05] ATTENDEE: She's, like, falling down also.
[00:31:07] CHRIS: Falling down. Yes. Yes. That is true as well. Is that of your own design?
[00:31:13] ATTENDEE: Not really. Yeah. No, but I feel like it goes along with who I am. Yeah.
[00:31:18] CHRIS: Yeah, I would imagine. I would have to imagine. It's a big choice. Do people ever... is there ever any awkwardness about the nudity, are people prudish?
[00:31:27] ATTENDEE: Actually, I haven't run into anyone that told me anything about it yet. But also it's because whenever I go to work, I go to like some official stuff. Then I put more clothes on. Yeah, it's on my arm, it's not, like, anywhere super private, but...
[00:31:45] CHRIS: It's in a good strategic spot.
[00:31:46] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I can cover it with a t-shirt or whatever.
[00:31:49] CHRIS: You can let it fly when you want to, yeah. And are you studying film making here still, are you making films?
[00:31:54] ATTENDEE: No. I don't want to study anymore. I just want to work.
[00:31:59] CHRIS: Oh, yeah. Do you work in film?
[00:32:01] ATTENDEE: I work on... video content. I create videos for the Internet.
[00:32:06] CHRIS: Oh, yeah.
[00:32:08] ATTENDEE: Yeah, that's kind of related to films. And I also work on my own breaks in my free time.
[00:32:12] CHRIS: Yeah. I mean that's where all the work is now, too. The internet. That's cool. That's cool. We have thirty nine minutes left. Just giving an update for everyone listening because you can see the clock now as well. Another unusual thing.
[00:32:28] ATTENDEE: So technically, Chris, how is this different than the usual?
[00:32:34] CHRIS: Let's see. How is this different? Well, first of all, there's a lot of ambient noise and I'm very conscious of it because it is New York City. And I think we get conditioned to how fast paced and loud this city is. But I mean, there are sirens and yelling children and people talking and walkie talkies. And it's interesting. I wonder if I think there's a lot of people who love New York who are going to listen to that side of it and be like, "I miss that town." And there's a lot of people who hate New York are going to be like, "that's why I would never live there."
[00:33:05] ATTENDEE:Yeah. Makes sense.
[00:33:06] CHRIS: That's my main concern.
[00:33:08] ATTENDEE: I love it, though. For now, it's like, yeah. I know that probably in a few years I'm not going to be happy about all this noise. But, for now I love it.
[00:33:16] CHRIS: You don't stay in one place for too long.
[00:33:18] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I know.
[00:33:20] CHRIS: What's... where's that come from?
[00:33:22] ATTENDEE: I don't know. I feel like when you are forced to leave your own country, it's kind of hard to find home again. And it's funny because I've been back to Cuba a few times to visit my family and whenever I am there, I don't feel at home anymore. So it's so frustrating because you don't really have a home. And you keep looking and looking for new places to live in and like new experiences that might make you feel like this is home, but it's not. Yeah. I don't know.
[00:33:56] CHRIS: So you're a wanderer. You wander. So, when you go home, does everyone have a million questions for you all the time? Or is it just that now you're back, let's chill.
[00:34:03] ATTENDEE: Yeah, more like that.
[00:34:06] CHRIS: Yeah, that's good. That's good. Now, when you... when you... So, you lived in Cuba and then you lived in the Dominican Republic, and then the next stop was Toronto?
[00:34:14] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:34:14] CHRIS: How long were you in Toronto?
[00:34:16] ATTENDEE: Almost a year.
[00:34:18] CHRIS: So you had a Toronto winter?
[00:34:19] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:34:20] CHRIS: And you'd never experience that before?
[00:34:22] ATTENDEE: No.
[00:34:23] CHRIS: Was that the worst experience of your entire life?
[00:34:25] ATTENDEE: No, I wasn't. I actually loved it.
[00:34:27] CHRIS: I guess growing up in an oppressive regime, that was a dumb question. That was a dumb question for you. Growing up in a country that's notorious for abuses. Was that the worst experience in your life, snow. That was dumb. I'm sorry. I say dumb things sometimes. What's wrong with me. This is a feeling, now that you can see me... the awkward moments. I feel very ashamed. I feel more shame.
[00:34:46] ATTENDEE: No, no, don't feel like that, no, please.
[00:34:48] CHRIS: It wasn't easy, though. Or were you psyched?
[00:34:50] ATTENDEE: It wasn't easy. It was just, like, different. And I wanted to experience that. So I was happy to be part of that, you know. And also, I was going to say, that I have a story about the first time that I saw snow. I was by myself walking on the streets in Toronto and I, like, I actually saw it for the first time and I was feeling like super excited, but I couldn't share with anyone because I didn't have any friends close to me at that point. So it was kind of lame because I was like, jumping inside of me. But I couldn't... I didn't want to show it to people and be awkward, like, I'm screaming, I'm being happy by myself, you know, on the streets. But like two days after my two Brazilian friends came to the city and then we saw snowed together, we had like a party on the snow and we threw snow at each other. And it was a super nice. Yeah.
[00:35:41] CHRIS: Yeah. Because I guess I would imagine it's a thing you've seen in pop culture. All of a sudden, it, it's real. How interesting to have that. I'm trying to think if I've ever had that experience with something. I guess like the first time I saw a desert. Yeah, a desert had that. That's about it. I think that's about it. Now, when you get... are you... are you... are you someone... do you just live in the moment here? Or when you're going from place to place, do you have an eye... like, do you already kind of know, like, "oh, when I get tired in New York, I know the next place I'm heading?" Do you have ideas?
[00:36:17] ATTENDEE: I have a few ideas. Oh, this is an amazing detail about me, too. I'm Jewish. I grew up Jewish in Cuba. I'm one of the few Jewish people in Cuba, I guess. Yeah. So one of my places I would like to go after the states. I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to move there or not. Maybe I love it here and I stay here forever. But I might go to Israel. At some point in my life to live there.
[00:36:47] CHRIS: Check it out. Do you speak Hebrew as well?
[00:36:49] ATTENDEE: No, I don't know.
[00:36:51] CHRIS: Now, let me ask another ignorant question. And I want to dwell on the past too much. It's not what you're interested in. But I know that in the Soviet Union, religion was outlawed. Was that similar?
[00:37:02] ATTENDEE: It was exactly like that in Cuba.
[00:37:04] CHRIS: So it was like an underground practice?
[00:37:06] ATTENDEE: Yes, it was the thing. The this is that the Jewish community was, like, really strong for some reason, like... they kept going. It was a weakened... It became weaker or whatever you say, that word. But. Well, Fidel, like, was trying to not let people do whatever they wanted with their religion. But after that, I remember when they made Christmas a holiday again in Cuba. Because, like, you couldn't even take the day off, at some point, for Christmas. And he started, like, Fidel started going to church. And he went to Synagogue, and it was... we were celebrating Hanukkah that day. And he went there and gave his speech for like four hours. And I was like, I was a kid at that point.
[00:38:04] CHRIS: Wait, were you there?
[00:38:05] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I was there.
[00:38:06] CHRIS: You were there.
[00:38:06] ATTENDEE: The whole community was there, yeah.
[00:38:08] CHRIS: Everyone. So there's, there's so few Jewish people that the whole community shows up at the same place at the same time.
[00:38:13] ATTENDEE: Yeah. Of course.
[00:38:14] CHRIS: And Fidel came in and just gave a four hour long speech?
[00:38:17] ATTENDEE: Yeah. Because he is like... he was gonna be more, like... the country was gonna be more open about religion than they used to.
[00:38:25] CHRIS: Four hours? I don't need to hear anyone talk about anything for four hours.
[00:38:29] ATTENDEE: You know that Fidel did, like, 20 hour speeches?
[00:38:31] CHRIS: Oh, my God. So that was a quick one for him.
[00:38:35] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly. And you know, on Hanukkah, they give presents to kids. And then if you are at the Hanukkah party, you're waiting for your present, you know. And they said like, "okay, we're gonna give the kids their presents, like, after the speech." And that was, like, the worst, you know!
[00:38:56] CHRIS: Do you have to sit there like trying not to fall asleep?
[00:38:58] ATTENDEE: Yeah. And it was like so hard.
[00:39:01] CHRIS:Wrap it up, Fidel, come on, man. We got toys, we got present coming.
[00:39:06] ATTENDEE: And you know what happened after that? They took, like, a picture with Fidel and all the kids. It was like a group picture? Right?
[00:39:13] CHRIS: So that exists of you somewhere in the world. A picture of you on Hanukkah with Fidel Castro? That's a thing. Do you have a copy of this picture?
[00:39:21] ATTENDEE: I have. Yeah.
[00:39:23] CHRIS: That's so, is that...
[00:39:24] ATTENDEE: But listen to it. Listen to this story. The thing is that they gave the kids their presents, and then they took their group pictures with all the kids. And I was like, I didn't care about Fidel. All the kids are in the picture, like, looking up to him and I'm, like, holding my present and I'm being, like, super happy with my present in my hands and not even thinking Fidel being there, you know!
[00:39:48] CHRIS: So was that common that you just see him around?
[00:39:53] ATTENDEE: Yeah, kind of.
[00:39:55] CHRIS: Small place, I guess.
[00:39:57] ATTENDEE: Yeah, it's because he... he used to go to a lot of different places just to give speeches. Yeah. The thing is that they have a really strong, strong security system for him. They used to have it. I guess they still have it for Raul.
[00:40:15] CHRIS: They're not messing around you know.
[00:40:16] ATTENDEE: No. They know what they're doing.
[00:40:18] CHRIS: So you like hang out. Like, took a photo... Do you remember what present you got that day?
[00:40:23] ATTENDEE: I know. It was like a makeup set for kids.
[00:40:27] CHRIS: All right. All right. Pretty good. Pretty sweet. That is a crazy story.
[00:40:35] ATTENDEE: I have to say that I'm not, like, super proud of Fidel or Raul of any of those guys.
[00:40:42] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:40:43] ATTENDEE: Yeah. So because I don't know, I don't want anyone that's listening to think that. I don't agree with anything that's going on in Cuba right now.
[00:40:52] CHRIS: I have to imagine... I have to imagine anyone listening is assuming that if you claimed refugee status, you're not thrilled with what was happening.
[00:41:03] ATTENDEE: I know, but I just wanted to make it clear.
[00:41:07] CHRIS: Because that's some people... That's... that's... There's some people, right? There's some Cuban people that have left that are like, "no, we're supporters still." Right? Is that still a thing?
[00:41:18] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I think. I think it is. It's like it doesn't happen that often anymore. because it's crazy to be on their side, you know. But I guess it's... I don't know, it's complicated. They also, like, they say that they have a lot of people like infiltrating the U.S. or whatever. I don't know, I don't know how that works. I don't even wanna... yeah, I don't know. I don't wanna talk about that.
[00:41:40] CHRIS: Infiltrating the U.S.? They're still trying to keep you nervous. Of course. Of course. Who wants to think about that?
[00:41:50] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I don't want to go home and them, like... coming to ask me anything or anything like that. That's what they say. I don't know.
[00:41:55] CHRIS: Of course! But even this level. Even you like, I'm able to see it. Even you like putting your hand up like that's what they say. Brushing it off a little bit. What a... what a thing to have to have in the back your mind your whole life.
[00:42:08] ATTENDEE: I know. It's crazy.
[00:42:10] CHRIS: That sucks. But now, so, there's no way you could sit down in a public park with microphones set up for most your life. No way. This would be... everyone would be, like, "what the hell is going on?"
[00:42:22] ATTENDEE: The thing, you know how in New York, you anything strange and no one cares. Just like, if anything, they would help you? You know? But in Cuba, it's not like that. If you see anything strange, then they might call the police.
[00:42:37] CHRIS: Everybody's red flags are going off.
[00:42:39] ATTENDEE: Yeah. Something like that... and they would come to ask you, like, the police would come to ask you, like, "what are you doing? Can I see your I.D.?" Stuff like that.
[00:42:48] CHRIS: Wow. Here, like, we should explain too, hundreds of people. Hundreds of people have been walking by. No one blinks twice. No one cares. This is the weirdest setup in the world. I can't reiterate that these are foot-long microphones covered in giant gray fur. Right? Would you say that? And we have a big...iPad with a clock setup and no one cares. Everyone in New York City, no one cares. I tell you, I was walking. I was walking on 7th. I went on vacation for three weeks, came back, and I was walking on Seventh Avenue behind the guy who, I'm not kidding, he was like seven and a half feet tall. And I could feel every New Yorker was like, "yeah, whatever. Move. Get out of my way. I got places to go. Pick up the pace. Pick up the pace, giant. Let's move." No one cares about anything. No one is impressed by anything in this city. What's the craziest thing you've seen since you moved to New York City? What's the thing that blew your mind the most?
[00:43:43] ATTENDEE: This actually is a really nice story. I was on the train and I saw this girl, like, coming through the violin trying to make it through people. From one side to the other. And then she finally made it, and hugged this super tall guy and at first I thought like, "oh, they're a couple. That's so sweet and cute." But then she like, stepped back, and hold his hand, like to shook his hand, and introduced herself and and she told him, like, "I usually do this, I hug strangers on the train." And, yeah. They said a conversation and there was actually another guy next to them and they started talking to and they, they said, like, "okay we're just gonna get off at the next stop and then in the next station and go to a bar and have a beer together."
[00:44:45] CHRIS: So she was just a random hugger and you watched them become friends on the spot. And I should mention that as you said that story. This is no joke. Balloons floated above our heads and children started laughing. What a positive experience hearing that story while balloons flew. A pink one and a green one. Green? Yeah, that's green. It's green on the edge of yellow, right? For anyone interested. A yellowish green, I would say.
[00:45:07] ATTENDEE: It's cool that we can talk about the things that we're seeing. It's not like you're talking to what you see, and me talking about what I see. Like, we see the same things.
[00:45:16] CHRIS: What are the things that are jumping out to you? What are the things that are jumping to you about our experience here? You see people working, another New York stereotype, people who can't slow down and stop working. A day in the park, they're on laptops, intense. I'm not trying to judge, but it doesn't look like there's much joy at that table. That's a hardworking table.
[00:45:35] ATTENDEE: Yeah, it is lunchtime. So is a few people eating, too. And a lot of kids having fun.
[00:45:42] CHRIS: We've got a classic guy with great sneakers. That's a thing in New York. A lot of people with really great sneakers. And he's got an open Mets jersey. Very clever, backwards hat. Real bro. But great sneakers. You see amazing sneakers in this city, all the time. A lot of kids. How do you feel about this fountain art installation? For anybody who wants to check this out, we're talking about the one, it looks. It sort of looks like, I would say like a Christmas tree, but evil floating in the middle of the foutain.
[00:46:14] ATTENDEE: That's true! That's actually true. I wouldn't want to have that Christmas tree. That would be weird. But it's nice. I like having it at the back at least. It's true. Yeah.
[00:46:24] CHRIS: Because you're... you're an art fan. You're an artist.
[00:46:27] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:46:27] CHRIS: What's that neighborhood in Miami? My friend, I went to visit my...
[00:46:30] ATTENDEE: Wynwood?
[00:46:30] CHRIS: Is that the one that's like all street art and murals and everybody's just out and all the restaurants are outdoors and people drinking.
[00:46:37] ATTENDEE: Yeah. It's that one.
[00:46:38] CHRIS: That place is cool. You hung out there a lot, huh? Is that where you lived?
[00:46:41] ATTENDEE: No, I lived on... at first I lived in Coral Gables and then I moved to Little Havana. Embracing my roots. Yeah.
[00:46:52] CHRIS: Were... can I ask another Cuban question just because I'm obsessed with food. Where do I go to eat good Cuban food in this town?
[00:46:59] ATTENDEE: Calle Ocho.
[00:47:00] CHRIS: Where's that?
[00:47:00] ATTENDEE: In Miami?
[00:47:02] CHRIS: No, no, no. In New York, where do I go in New York?
[00:47:04] ATTENDEE: Oh, I don't know here. I don't usually go to Cuban restaurants, because I'm a vegetarian and it's so hard to eat vegetarian food at Cuban restaurants.
[00:47:12] CHRIS: There was a Cuban restaurant on my block in Queens years ago. It closed down. A lot of meat. Ground beef with olives and french fries. That's the thing I used to get.
[00:47:21] ATTENDEE: That's why if I want eat Cuban food, I just make it a home.
[00:47:24] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah. How long you been vegetarian?
[00:47:28] ATTENDEE: I've been vegetarian for, like, a year and a half.
[00:47:31] CHRIS: Yeah, I still eat fish.
[00:47:33] ATTENDEE: Me, too.
[00:47:34] CHRIS: You do?
[00:47:34] ATTENDEE: I'm not proud of it.
[00:47:36] CHRIS: Me neither. I'm trying to move on but it tastes so good.
[00:47:39] ATTENDEE: Me too. I eat it like once a month or something like that.
[00:47:42] CHRIS: I eat it alot. Convince myself for the protein. I've, trying to work out more. I've been doing my Brazilian jujitsu class. I've lost a lot of weight. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to eat a lot of protein. But there's other ways to get protein. But then I was just reading that, that the guy who sort of formalized veganism and wrote the book that kind of made that... I think maybe made the term 'vegan' come into play. He originally said you can eat mussels because mussels don't move. They attach themselves to the seabeds. They're effectively plants.
[00:48:14] ATTENDEE: I don't know. I just... I don't want to eat living things. I mean, I know that plants are. Of course.
[00:48:20] CHRIS: You shut that down.
[00:48:21] ATTENDEE: I know!
[00:48:22] CHRIS: You did. I tried to....
[00:48:24] ATTENDEE: But I mean, like animals...
[00:48:25] CHRIS: I tried to justify to myself, you were like, let's stop. Don't bullshit a bullshitter here. No way.
[00:48:28] ATTENDEE: Animals, no, no, no. It's not... I don't know. I just don't like feel comfortable doing... and even drinking milk. It's like you're drinking another's animal milk...
[00:48:38] CHRIS: Yeah, it's weird when, it's really, really strange when you think about it. I don't drink milk. That's more for my. This is a weird thing to say in person. I wouldn't feel awkward about this in the studio. I tend to get a little gassy.
[00:48:51] ATTENDEE: That's fine.
[00:48:52] CHRIS: It's not fine.
[00:48:54] ATTENDEE: Who doesn't fart? That's normal. Everyone does.
[00:48:58] CHRIS: See, this is not a thing you and I would be saying to each other if we met in any other circumstance.
[00:49:02] ATTENDEE: I would. I don't know about you.
[00:49:04] CHRIS: Within thirty seven minutes, you'd say the sentence, "who doesn't fart" to another... I guess I'm more... I guess I'm a lot more shy than you are.
[00:49:14] ATTENDEE: Talking about farts in a public park. That's time to take a break. It's time to take a break and hear from an advertiser.
[00:49:25] [AD BREAK]
[00:51:46] CHRIS: Thanks again to all of our sponsors. Now let's finish off the phone call with us.
[00:51:57] ATTENDEE: Who doesn't fart? That's normal. Everyone does.
[00:52:00] CHRIS: See, this is not a thing you and I would be saying to each other if we met in any other circumstance.
[00:52:04] ATTENDEE: I would. I don't know about you.
[00:52:05] CHRIS: Within thirty seven minutes, you'd say the sentence, "who doesn't fart" to another... I guess I'm more... I guess I'm a lot more shy than you are.
[00:52:13] ATTENDEE: Me too. I'm super shy. Yeah. It's really hard for me to open with people, but then when I get to be open I'm, like, super outgoing.
[00:52:21] CHRIS: How is this feeling for you? Comfortable, uncomfortable?
[00:52:24] ATTENDEE: Yes. Yes. I'm super comfortable.
[00:52:25] CHRIS: Good. That's good. Oh, we got a guy on a city bike. New school, past five - ten years imagery. City bike. The Big Blue Bikes of New York City. What else? What else would you like to tell me? What else should we talk about?
[00:52:38] ATTENDEE: I don't know. I guess we could talk about love.
[00:52:40] CHRIS: Love?
[00:52:41] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:52:42] CHRIS: OK.
[00:52:42] ATTENDEE: Why not?
[00:52:43] CHRIS: I got in a little argument with my wife before I left the house, that's why I was a little late. I apologize for that. I don't know if you picked up on that. So I'm... love is on my mind, because I love my wife so much, but we got in a little fight because I supposed to... I was supposed to help her carry some dresser's that she's painting out of our house so she could paint them outside. I told her I was coming to do this, but she forgot that my schedule's always weird. She's like "you can't expect memorize your schedule. How am I gonna move these dressers?" So, and we had a fight and then I helped move the dressers. Then I ran to the train, but it made me about 15, 20 minutes late. I apologize. And then I think of love right now. That's what I'm thinking. What do you think about love?
[00:53:22] ATTENDEE: I don't know. I don't know if I hate or if I love it. It's like being in love is the best feeling you can have. But if you are not loved back then, it's the worst.
[00:53:34] CHRIS: You open yourself up.
[00:53:35] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:53:36] CHRIS: A lot of vulnerability when you choose to love someone. Now, is this in reference to the guy you used to live with? Is that are you still processing that?
[00:53:43] ATTENDEE: No, that guy's not actually that important in my life.
[00:53:46] CHRIS: Yeah, it didn't sound like.
[00:53:47] ATTENDEE: No, he's not, like, one of the main people that I've loved.
[00:53:50] CHRIS: Yeah, he's not one of that... he's not on your Mount Rushmore. it sounds mostly like he was a good reason to move to New York, and then...
[00:53:58] ATTENDEE: I was going to move to New York anyway.
[00:54:00] CHRIS: Oh, so not even that.
[00:54:01] ATTENDEE: No, it just happen that I was dating him at that point, and it made sense that I would stay with him for a while. But that was it.
[00:54:11] CHRIS: This is a totally largely inconsequential human being in the story of your life.
[00:54:16] ATTENDEE: Exactly.
[00:54:17] CHRIS: So what's going on now that you've got love on the mind?
[00:54:20] ATTENDEE: I don't know. I'm going to start from the beginning. I fell in love with this Cuban guy when I was 21. And we got married three months after we met.
[00:54:31] CHRIS: You got married?
[00:54:32] ATTENDEE: When I was 21, yeah.
[00:54:34] CHRIS: Oh, wow.
[00:54:36] ATTENDEE: It was kind of a rebellious thing.
[00:54:39] CHRIS: It was a what thing?
[00:54:40] ATTENDEE: It was like... I thought I was being a rebel...
[00:54:42] CHRIS: A rebel.
[00:54:43] ATTENDEE: Yeah. That's why I did it.
[00:54:45] CHRIS: So that's pure passion.
[00:54:46] ATTENDEE: Yes. I want to apologize, guys, for my accent.
[00:54:51] CHRIS: No, no, no.
[00:54:51] ATTENDEE: If you don't understand anything, just ask me.
[00:54:54] CHRIS: When I said that, I promise you it wasn't that I didn't understand it. It's that I was trying to... here's exactly what I was thinking. When you were 21... I'm going were you still in Cuba, are you in the Dominican Republic? I was trying to place...
[00:55:04] ATTENDEE: I was in Cuba. It was right before I left Cuba.
[00:55:07] CHRIS: So everybody.
[00:55:08] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I left Cuba because I broke up with them.
[00:55:11] CHRIS: You did?
[00:55:12] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:55:12] CHRIS: So you were a refugee, not just from the standard Cuban reasons, but also getting away from a toxic guy.
[00:55:21] ATTENDEE: I guess. Yeah. It wasn't toxic. We are still friends. We just, like, weren't on the same page. So.
[00:55:30] CHRIS: Wow. So you had this rebellious, passionate love. It led to a quick marriage. Was he was he twenty one as well?
[00:55:37] ATTENDEE: No, he was twenty eight.
[00:55:40] CHRIS: Twenty eight.
[00:55:40] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:55:42] CHRIS: It's still relatively young to get married.
[00:55:44] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:55:45] CHRIS: And everybody's upset, everybody's like, "what are you doing?!"
[00:55:49] ATTENDEE: Yeah. It was like that at the beginning. But then they they were fine with it. Yeah. So we got married and we were really happy for like a year, but we had an open relationship.
[00:56:01] CHRIS: Oh you did. An open relationship.
[00:56:04] ATTENDEE: Yes. And he met this girl and he was like, "I really love you. I think you're the love of my life. But I want to be with her, too," and I was like, "I'm fine with you having sex with other people, but I don't really want you to have a relationship with anyone else."
[00:56:19] CHRIS: So across some emotional lines.
[00:56:21] ATTENDEE: Yes. That's why I decided to move on from that.
[00:56:25] CHRIS: Was he trying to set up a thing where you all live together and he had like a harem?
[00:56:29] ATTENDEE: No, he wasn't that bad. He just... he just wanted to, like, have a relationship with the same time that he was living with me. And I didn't want that, so... yeah.
[00:56:39] CHRIS: So you were more thinking of an open relationship in terms of... well, if you have sexual or physical needs, explore them. Express them. Yeah, but I'm not looking for you to have a side piece.
[00:56:52] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly.
[00:56:54] CHRIS: That's a bummer.
[00:56:55] ATTENDEE: I know.
[00:56:55] CHRIS: Did he feel bad? Did he at least feel guilty him?
[00:57:00] ATTENDEE: I don't know. Like three months after we broke up, I went back to Cuba to see him and, like, not to see him, but I saw him. And then he cried, which was really awkward for me because I couldn't stop laughing. Not because I was, like, making fun of him, it was just awkward, I didn't know what to do!
[00:57:16] CHRIS: So he starts crying and you start laughing?
[00:57:21] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:57:21] CHRIS: Ooooh, that's a bad day in his story.
[00:57:24] ATTENDEE: I mean, he screwed me up, so...
[00:57:25] CHRIS: Of course. Sounds like he deserved it.
[00:57:27] ATTENDEE: I can laugh!
[00:57:28] CHRIS: Sounds like he deserved, but ooooh.
[00:57:30] ATTENDEE: No, I wasn't doing it on purpose, so.
[00:57:32] CHRIS: No, of course. Of course. Wow.
[00:57:34] ATTENDEE: So then after that. Well, you know, I moved to the Dominican Republic, and then I went to Denmark, and while I was in Denmark, I finally got to see my best friend that I didn't see in like four years. But we kept talking all the time on the phone so we would Skype every day for like four hours.
[00:57:57] CHRIS: Is that why you went to Denmark?
[00:57:58] ATTENDEE: No, I went to Denmark to go to film school.
[00:58:01] CHRIS: So it just worked out. Got it.
[00:58:03] ATTENDEE: And then she was living in Germany. And after, like four years of friendship, we fell in love.
[00:58:12] CHRIS: You said she, but you had been married to man prior.
[00:58:16] ATTENDEE: I know.
[00:58:16] CHRIS: Was this something you were aware of, and comfortable with before this?
[00:58:22] ATTENDEE: Not really, I'm just not the kind of person who decides who I want to fall in love with. So if it happens with a guy, fine. If it is with a girl, great.
[00:58:31] CHRIS: That's cool.
[00:58:32] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I like to see it that way at least. It's not, like, I don't have to express who am or anything. I just have to do whatever I want to do and that's it. I don't have to label anything or like say I was married to a guy so now I can not be with a girl. I don't see it that way.
[00:58:51] CHRIS: Right. So it's just... you, maybe more than anyone I've ever met... You just do you.
[00:58:56] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[00:58:57] CHRIS: You just doing you. See what happens. Roll with the punches.
[00:59:00] ATTENDEE: I guess.
[00:59:00] CHRIS: Wow.
[00:59:01] ATTENDEE: Well, but the thing was that she was married to a guy when that happened.
[00:59:06] CHRIS: What?
[00:59:08] ATTENDEE: I know!!
[00:59:10] CHRIS: I've taken off my glasses. As everybody knows, we're hitting a real fever pitch. So she's married to a guy.
[00:59:16] ATTENDEE: She was.
[00:59:16] CHRIS: Did you fall in love with her? Did she fall in love with you?
[00:59:18] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[00:59:19] CHRIS: Drama.
[00:59:20] ATTENDEE: I know. That's how my life works.
[00:59:24] CHRIS: We have 15 minutes left. I wanna hear everything. Does the marriage end?
[00:59:30] ATTENDEE: It does, yeah. I don't want to say that it was because of me. Because I don't... I don't feel like they were happy at that point. But yeah.
[00:59:40] CHRIS: I'm sure it didn't help things.
[00:59:42] ATTENDEE: I know. Yeah. But the thing is that I really loved this girl and I was really happy when I was with her but I couldn't say in Germany because she was a married to this guy and I didn't have, like, a visa to, like, or a work permit or anything. And we didn't get married. So I had to leave Europe. And then we kept being together, like, online. Like we had a long distance relationship.
[01:00:18] CHRIS: Can I? Is that how Europe works? If you if your visa is up?
[01:00:22] ATTENDEE: For Cubans, yeah. I don't know if for Americans it goes like that. But for Cubans, like, no one wants us anywhere.
[01:00:30] CHRIS: So it wasn't like you two could travel around Europe together...
[01:00:35] ATTENDEE: We could travel on our own Europe together. But the thing is that when my visa was out... I couldn't stay in Europe. Yeah. Unless I married someone or got a job or something like that. So she told me, like, you should say, and tried to, like, make you hear even if you don't have a work permit. And I didn't want to do that, because then I would be depending on her and not speaking the language. And like it just wasn't a good idea. And I'm so glad that I did that, because then I got to spend time with my mom in Miami. So. Yeah, so we kept going long distance for a while. But then it's sort of, like, die... because there was no way we could see each other. She couldn't come to the States. She didn't have a visa, and I couldn't go to Europe because I didn't have my green card yet.
[01:01:23] CHRIS: Now you have a U.S. green card, can you travel back?
[1:01:28] ATTENDEE: I wanted to. I actually... that was my goal when I when I got the green card, I will go to see her, but now she's with someone else, and I'm like kind of over that too, so.
[01:01:37] CHRIS: Wow. How long ago was that? That that ended?
[01:01:42] ATTENDEE: It was like for two years.
[01:01:43] CHRIS: Two years?
[01:01:45] ATTENDEE: Yeah, something like that. So I was... I was with her when I was living in Miami for a long time. And then, we broke up for a while. I had another relationship with another girl, and then when I broke up with that girl, we had our thing online again for a while, but that wasn't working. So we just decided to move on.
[01:02:10] CHRIS: Well done. What's your relationship with love now? You said you can't decide if you love it or hate it. Are you dating in New York? Are you figuring this out?
[01:02:16] ATTENDEE: I'm meeting people. But also what happened to me when I moved here I met this Cuban girl. I'm all into... I'm all Cuban girls! Because that one was Cuban, too, the one from Europe.
[01:02:29] CHRIS: She was?
[01:02:30] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[01:02:30] CHRIS: OK.
[01:02:32] ATTENDEE: So I met this Cuban girl when I moved here... I didn't actually meet her here. I met her in Cuba. But we weren't friends or anything. And we became friends when I came here. So. Yeah, and I I really like her.
[01:02:48] CHRIS: You do?
[01:02:49] ATTENDEE: Yeah. But she doesn't love me back.
[01:02:52] CHRIS: She doesn't?
[01:02:53] ATTENDEE: No.
[01:02:53] CHRIS: Have you gone on any dates?
[01:02:55] ATTENDEE: No. She... she doesn't even want to try that. We are really good friends. We were, like, we see each other everyday and everything. And I told her, like, hey, I want to try these. Let's do it. And she's just, like, :no, I don't want to be with Cuban girls because they are too dramatic."
[01:03:12] CHRIS: Too dramatic.
[01:03:13] ATTENDEE: I know.
[01:03:14] CHRIS: And how did you take that?
[01:03:17] ATTENDEE: That's what she says. I take it like, man, you can not say you're not going to be with someone because of where they're from. You know, it's like, don't do that. That's not nice.
[01:03:23] CHRIS: I will say, devil's advocate, you have been in some very dramatic situation.
[01:03:28] ATTENDEE: That's true. But just, like, if you want to be with someone that's gonna make it like really adventurous for you and that's going to try anything and be by your side and be open and, you know, be willing to enjoy life, then it's going to be a dramatic person because that's how it works. Like if we are just like a plain person who doesn't taste, take risks, then that's what you're going to get, you know. This is the whole package with the dramatic stuff and everything.
[01:03:56] CHRIS: You brought up love and I was like, "man, my wife's mad because I didn't move a dresser." And then you're telling me about passionate marriages that you just go for. And then flying halfway across the world and falling in love with women. And now someone saying they can't be with you because it might be too... it might be too passionate at the end of the day is what they're saying.
[01:04:17] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly. I honestly... I think that's excuse.
[01:04:21] CHRIS: I moved a dresser. I moved two dressers. That's what I got for the conversation.
[01:04:27] ATTENDEE: Well the thing is that, like, two days ago, I told her that I don't want to see her anymore because we are like in a really toxic thing. We see each other every day we sleep together from time to time. Like, not sleep together...
[01:04:41] CHRIS: But in the same bed.
[01:04:41] ATTENDEE: Yes, exactly. Like. And then we hug while we're sleeping and cuddle.
[01:04:46] CHRIS: So you spoon.
[01:04:46] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[01:04:47] CHRIS: So that's very confusing.
[01:04:49] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly.
[1:04:50] CHRIS: She's got... she's got to be aware that she's now saying one thing. But there's some doing and there's a little bit more happening than just the standard friendship.
[01:04:58] ATTENDEE: Yes, exactly. And I'm confused. I just don't want to be part of that anymore because I'm... I feel like I'm the one who's getting hurt.
[01:05:07] CHRIS: Yeah. I'm so sorry.
[01:05:09] ATTENDEE: But yeah, I decided to move on from that, too.
[01:05:11] CHRIS: You did.
[01:05:12] ATTENDEE: It's not working and it's hurting me. So, bye.
[01:05:14] CHRIS: So you're giving up. You said that you're now... you're growing to hate the concept of love.
[01:05:18] ATTENDEE: I don't think I hate it. Just need a break from it.
[01:05:22] CHRIS: You need a break.
[01:05:23] ATTENDEE: Honestly, if she loves my back, I will be happy to be in love. And like I that, I want to have a happy relationship and I want to be happy with someone. But if it's not working what can I do? I have to find happiness somewhere else.
[01:05:34] CHRIS: What's the game plan? How are you going to find it?
[01:05:37] ATTENDEE: I have no idea. I'm just going to be myself and enjoy life as much as I can.
[01:05:43] CHRIS: That's pretty good.
[01:05:43] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I started these salsa lesson yesterday.
[01:05:47] CHRIS: Salsa lessons? How was that?
[01:05:49] ATTENDEE: It was actually super awkward because I'm Cuban and I'm expect expected to be a great dancer. And I'm not.
[01:05:58] CHRIS: OK. OK.
[01:05:59] ATTENDEE: And it was like a Cuban salsa class.
[01:06:03] CHRIS: Right. Right.
[01:06:05] ATTENDEE: Which I know like the basics for. But when the teacher heard that I'm Cuban, he put me in the advanced level and I was completely lost the whole time. I didn't know what to do. I was, like, being messy all over. Like people were like, yes, it was a mess.
[01:06:20] CHRIS: I'm so sorry you went through that. It's kind of hilarious.
[01:06:24] ATTENDEE: I know, it was so amazing, I was trying to make fun of myself. But yeah, they didn't get the joke, I guess.
[01:06:31] CHRIS: So they show up, they hear you're Cuban and go, "oh, go do this with people who've been doing it their whole lives."
[01:06:35] ATTENDEE: Yeah, exactly.
[01:06:37] CHRIS: Can I tell you something about me?
[01:06:38] ATTENDEE: What?
[01:06:39] CHRIS: I'm a surprisingly good dancer.
[01:06:41] ATTENDEE: Yeah?
[01:06:42] CHRIS: Better than you would think looking at me.
[01:06:44] ATTENDEE: Do you know how to dance Cuban salsa?
[01:06:45] CHRIS: I went to the Dominican Republic last year and I took some salsa classes. I'm not going to say I'm an expert, but I'll say I took to it quicker than anyone expected when they saw a pasty faced Irish guy with big, giant glasses.
[01:06:58] ATTENDEE: Wow.
[1:06:58] CHRIS: People were like, I mean, I wasn't great at salsa, but they were like, "Hey, you moved your hips a little better than we thought."
[01:07:04] ATTENDEE: You should record a video of you dancing salsa and post it in the group.
[01:07:11] CHRIS: Now, here's a question. Now you're a New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker. I don't know. I don't wanna make any assumptions. Are you someone who just listens to... Did you know what I looked like before today? Or are you just a listener?
[01:07:18] ATTENDEE: I knew what you look like because I went to one of the live recordings
[01:07:23] CHRIS: The tapings at the Bell House.
[01:07:25] ATTENDEE: Yes. But, I didn't, like, we didn't met.
[01:07:29] CHRIS: No, no, no. I never met you a day in my life. I can promise the listeners that. I was just wondering.
[01:07:35] ATTENDEE: I'm a super shy person. I wouldn't, like go to someone and tell them, "hi, I want to meet, I want to take a picture with you." I wouldn't do that.
[01:07:41] CHRIS: I like you when it happens, but I'm very shy as well. Most of our listeners are. And very often they come up and they hug me and then we stand around for a minute., and I'm like, "all right, bye." And they're like, "yeah, bye." I mean it's just very... socially grim.
[01:07:53] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I mean it's nice that people love you that much but, I just don't feel like I'm that kind of person. Like I can love you from my home and listening to your podcast.
[01:08:04] CHRIS: Listen, I know love is a very touchy topic for you right now as well. I don't want to... We don't need to cross over into love. It's been bringing up all sorts of stuff. Bring up all sorts of stuff.
[01:08:15] ATTENDEE: That's fine, yeah. So, well, I don't know. That's what's going on right now.
[01:08:19] CHRIS: What are you doing with the rest of your day today?
[01:08:20] ATTENDEE: Today, I think I'm going to go to a second Salsa lesson.
[01:08:24] CHRIS: Oh, I thought you said a second... I thought you're going to say like a second podcast. I thought you were gonna say "oh, I'm gonna go to doctor game show after this." My second salsa lesson. So two in two days.
[01:08:35] ATTENDEE: Yes. Because the thing is that today I want to take, like, the basic class.
[01:08:40] CHRIS: Well, when you go all in on something you go all in, huh? You don't mess around.
[01:08:44] ATTENDEE: You know what? I didn't know how... when I was a kid, I used to play chess with my brother the whole time and he would win all the time. And then when I married this guy, he was a really good chess player. And I decided that I wanted to play chess. Which is really hard. I have to say. And I read a lot of books and I learn and I played him and I won. At the reunion I won, like, once every ten times we played, but then he got even. And then I got better than him.
[01:09:19] CHRIS: That's how you do it. You decide something is gonna happen and you go beat the shit out of it until it happens. And then you're like, "I'm done with this. Maybe I'll move to Taiwan now," and you just take off.
[01:09:30] ATTENDEE: I guess. Yeah.
[01:09:32] CHRIS: When you decide to move someplace, how much planning goes into it beforehand or are you just calling everybody like, "Hey, I'm going to Toronto. I'll be back when I'm back."
[01:09:39] ATTENDEE: It depends. It has been different, different moments. Honestly, when I moved to Miami, I had like six hundred dollars in my pocket.
[01:09:48] CHRIS: Miami's not a cheap place to live.
[01:09:50] ATTENDEE: Well, my dad lived there and I stayed with him for a while. But we don't have like the best relationship. So, like, two months after I moved in with him I moved somewhere else.
[01:10:05] CHRIS: Woah. Just bounce around through this world. You know, I've always lived like within a half hour of this park.
[01:10:13] ATTENDEE: I want to do that for a while, though.
[01:10:14] CHRIS: Well, no, like forty five minutes. What's that?
[01:10:16] ATTENDEE: I want to do that for a while. I want to, like, stay somewhere. And I feel like New York is... might be the right place for that.
[01:10:22] CHRIS: Well, I would have to imagine it's a good fit for you in the sense of you can live in this city for many years and still bounce around. I think the thing culture to culture, world to world, subculture to subculture. Pretty good if you're... if you're a restless person who likes to see things. It's a pretty good city.
[01:10:39] ATTENDEE: Yeah, I guess.
[01:10:42] CHRIS: Now you live in Washington Heights. You have a very Brooklyn vibe.
[01:10:48] ATTENDEE: I know. I know.
[01:10:50] CHRIS: Do you hear this alot?
[01:10:50] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[01:10:50] CHRIS: Do you hang out there a lot?
[01:10:52] ATTENDEE: I like hanging out there, but honestly, I went... before I moved to this new place, I tried to see us a few rooms in Brooklyn and I... I don't like to live there. I don't know. It's just, you know what happened to me? Like last year I had appendicitis.
[01:11:11] CHRIS: Appendicitis?
[01:11:12] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[01:11:12] CHRIS: Got your appendix out?
[01:11:13] ATTENDEE: Yes.
[01:11:14] CHRIS: Brutal. I hear it's not good.
[01:11:17] ATTENDEE: The thing is that... at the point I was living in Miami and I started going through a lot of pain in the middle of the night. And I was living by myself. I had my own apartment at that point. And yeah. And I had to call my friends and like tell them, "take me to the doctor, because I don't know if I'm gonna die right now." So they came over and they checked on me and they took me to the hospital. Thanks to them, I, like, am alive right now I guess. And I want to be in a neighborhood where I feel like I can do that with neighbors. A lot of people that live in my building are Cuban or Dominican. I know that even if I don't know them that well, I can knock on their door and say, "can you help me with this?" That is something that's really important.
[01:12:05] CHRIS: Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, in Brooklyn, you don't get that so much.
[01:12:08] ATTENDEE: People are super nice in Brooklyn. I don't want to be like...
[01:12:12] CHRIS: Yeah. No, but that was my experience, too, living in Brooklyn. It's very weird to live inside a building with a human being, and, like, you're picking up your mail and they come inside and you don't even say hi to each other. And that's weird to live in the same physical structure as people.
[01:12:28] ATTENDEE: Especially if you're Cuban. We're used to something completely different. If we need like an egg or sugar or whatever, we just knock on the neighbor's door and ask them like, "hey, do you have this, or do you have that?" That's how we live.
[01:12:42] CHRIS: Yeah, that's nice. I've also... Cuba... doesn't Cuba have a good health care system or like really good developed drugs that the FDA won't pass here, but to cure all kinds of shit that would be nice to have here? I've heard that.
[01:12:57] ATTENDEE: Yeah, it is a little bit like that. We have like a free health system, which is nice that anyone can go to the doctor if they want, but the thing is that we don't really have a lot of resources.
[01:13:11] CHRIS: Yeah.
[01:13:12] ATTENDEE: And also the doctors get paid very well. So it's a little bit frustrating. People can be frustrated at some point. If you go to the doctor and there are really long lines. You have to wait a lot, and not everything is clean. So yeah, it's free, but it's in my point of view, it's not that good.
[01:13:34] CHRIS: Now, how long are you going to give yourself? Like how long would you estimate until you're the best salsa dancer in the class? Honestly.
[01:13:43] ATTENDEE: I don't want to be the best one. I just want to be good at it, you know?
[01:13:46] CHRIS: So how long until you're good at it?
[01:13:48] ATTENDEE: I give it two weeks.
[01:13:49] CHRIS: Two weeks? So you went... You're someone who you say last night you went and you were embarrassed to be in the advanced class. You're saying in two weeks you'll be totally comfortable in the advanced class.
[01:13:58] ATTENDEE: Maybe three.
[01:14:00] CHRIS: You're gonna go everyday?
[01:14:00] ATTENDEE: I'm going to say a month. Just to, yeah.
[01:14:03] CHRIS: No, you're not. No, you're saying a month because you saw my reaction.
[01:14:07] ATTENDEE: I mean, in two weeks, I'm going to be able to take that the advance class. In a month, I'm going to feel comfortable in the advance class.
[01:14:16] CHRIS: If I started salsa classes right now, I would say I might be proficient at it by 2021.
[01:14:24] ATTENDEE: I'm sure you're going to do before that, Chris.
[01:14:27] CHRIS: We'll see.
[01:14:28] ATTENDEE: You say you're a good dancer, so...
[01:14:30] CHRIS: I am, but I mostly just like flail around shamelessly. My wife was a professional dancer, so to woo her, I had to learn how to dance. And I have found out that most of it is just go out and do it. Try not to be awkward because when ladies want to dance, they don't want to dance with some awkward guy who keeps saying, "I don't really do this." Just go, like, move your hips around and shake your arms around.
[01:14:49] ATTENDEE: And that's the thing, you just have to have fun. You don't have to like be the best dancer in the world.
[01:14:54] CHRIS: No, and my wife was a professional dancer. So all I gotta do is just, like, shake to the beat and then she'll do something around me that makes me look great. I will say, I am a much better dancer when my wife is covering for me. Anyway. That's zero. We just hit zero.
[01:15:09] ATTENDEE: Oh, no.
[01:15:09] CHRIS: Any last messages to the world?
[01:15:13] ATTENDEE: Yeah. I just want to say that people shouldn't, like, judge people that are from somewhere else. Here in the States, it's hard for everyone for people and people from somewhere else. So, just be nice to each other and try to understand. If they having a good time speaking to you or trying to explain something to you. Be patient.
[01:15:34] CHRIS: Be patient.
[01:15:35] ATTENDEE: Yeah.
[01:15:36] CHRIS: We had a great conversation. I wasn't... I didn't feel confused even one time. Not one time. Did you get to everything you wanted to talk about? I feel more questions about this and guilt in person. Did I talk too much? You can be honest.
[01:15:49] ATTENDEE: No, no, no, no, no. It was perfect. It was perfect. It was so nice.
[01:15:52] CHRIS: I thought you were perfect.
[01:15:54] ATTENDEE: Oh, thank you, Chris.
[01:15:56] CHRIS: I'm going to run it over my head. I think I talked too much in the first half. It's OK. They'll let me know on Facebook. Thank you so much.
[01:16:01] ATTENDEE: Thank you, Chris. It's so nice to meet you.
[01:16:03] CHRIS: So nice to meet you. Good luck with everything.
[01:16:05] ATTENDEE: Thank you.
[01:16:06] CHRIS: I hope you find all the love you're looking for. I hope you become a great dancer.
[01:16:09] ATTENDEE: Thank you.
[01:16:10] CHRIS: I hope you continue to explore the world and your impulses to your heart's desire.
[01:16:17] ATTENDEE: Thank you, bye.
[01:16:25] CHRIS: I want to thank not the caller, the attendee. I want to thank the attendee for taking such a big chance, coming of the park talking to me face to face. Very brave, very bold. But I get the sense that you're a brave, bold person in general. That person... she used confidence, I would say, just really chill, comfortable with herself. And like I said, as you walked away. Best of luck to you. Hope you find that love. I hope you don't hate love, that made me sad. I hope you love love. Travel the world until you find it. Thank you so much to Jared O'Connell, to Harry Nelson in particular today for setting up his whole mobile rig. I want to thank Justin Linville. I don't thank Justin enough on the show. He really helps me out with all areas of my life and career and I really do appreciate it. You wanna know more about me and my tour dates? You go to Chris Geth dot com. I'm traveling all over. Some live Beautiful Anonymous, some stand up. Check that out. Thank you. Shelshag for the music. Hey, rate, review, subscribe on Apple podcast. It really helps the show when you do. I can't believe I remembered all that off the top of my head. Anyway, we'll see you next time.
[01:17:22] THEME MUSIC: Catch me, face to face.
[01:17:37] CHRIS: Next time on Beautiful Anonymous, someone who served in the American military tells us what it was like in a very real way.
[01:17:47] CHRIS: You're in the Navy and you work in aviation.
[01:17:50] Yeah, yeah. I used to fly a plane for the Navy off of aircraft aircraft carriers. Yeah. It was a neat experience. And technically, I will say for anyone who's listening who's in the Navy. I will prepare myself. I'm Goose, not Maverick. So I was a back-seater, not an actual pilot. So I was like navigating. And, like, weapon systems, comms, that kind of thing.
[01:18:16] CHRIS: That's... You're Goose, not a Maverick. I think we already know the title to this episode. A Goose, not a Maverick.
[01:18:24] That's next time on Beautiful Anonymous.
[01:18:32] CHRIS: Oh, there's a confrontation. There's an actual confrontation.
[01:18:36] PERSON ONE: No, they're my kids, I'm just asking why...
[01:18:37] PERSON TWO Oh, they're beautiful.
[01:18:40] CHRIS: Oh, oh, we just had a confrontation. A woman, there's a woman taking pictures in the park, another woman walked up and said, "why are you taking pictures of my kids? Those are my kids, why are you taking pictures of them?" And the lady said, "they're beautiful." And it's very uncomfortable. I would say Harry's giggling so nervously right now. Harry is giggling so nervously right now. That was, I would say, shockingly uncomfortable. I don't know exactly what happened in the fight, but it ended with the lady who had the kids say, "good luck with your nephew." And then the other lady fled. Oh, so Jared... you might hear a weird popping sound in the background now. Jared is hitting his shoe in the grass because while setting up the table, he did step in dog shit. So, let's remember, everybody. You've got to clean up after your own dogs, OK? It's nobody else's responsibility but yours. Listeners have been mad at me cause I'm not a dog person... now I'm sitting here my friend Jared, who worked so hard... has to wipe shit off his shoes. So maybe it's maybe... maybe it's not that I don't like dogs. Maybe it's that I don't like irresponsible dog owners.