EP. 326 — Heart Attack At 42

Chris [00:00:04] Hello to everybody who thinks these tomatoes taste a little specific. It’s Beautiful/ Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred. Hi everybody. Chris Gethard here. Welcome to another episode of Beautiful/ Anonymous. I thank everybody from the Facebook group who left comments on last week’s episode, our foster parents who love D&D. We has a lot of people who were at the live show checking in to say they were there. We had people debating if they were the oldest person at the show. Much love to y’all. So we had a lot of people very supportive of the couple. We had someone offering up- Nina offered up the word “sangry”, the mixture of sad and angry that all of us feel from time to time. Sangry. Maybe I might have to start using that. Sounds like sounds like a sangria, like a wine based beverage, sangry. Sad and angry. I’ve also had people who didn’t know what D&D was and other people explaining what D&D was. And also a lot of people thanking the callers for supporting the foster care system, being who they are, sacrificing. It’s a good episode. This week’s episode is good, too. Before I tell you about that, I just wanna let you know very, very quickly, if you’re in New Jersey and you have a kid and you’re looking for something to do with the kid, July 6th, Asbury Park, HouseofIndependence.com Sitcom. I’m hosting a show. It’s going to be a family friendly. I’m doing a comedy show for kids. I’ve designed a comedy show for my son to like kids five and under get in free to this one. And it’s going to be a mixture of dinosaurs and monsters and the kids get to be in control and Jersey trivia and it’ll be fun. Maybe you want to come out. If you’re in Jersey. Who knows? Bring your kids. I wanted to write- there’s nothing out there for kids to have fun with that parents also find fun. So I said, I guess I got to go ahead and just design it and make it so we’re going to give it a shot. Anyway. Stop plugging stuff. Here’s what I do now. This call you’re about to hear is full of surprises. It’s full of things you don’t expect to happen. I mean, you can tell from the title of the episode, our caller had a heart attack at 42. Now, when you think of that caller, when you- if you’ve only listened to the- only heard the title of the episode, Heart Attack at 42, you’re assuming this is a male caller. It’s not. It’s not. We talk a lot about that. Goes against the stereotype of what you might expect this to be. Talk a lot about how when you come close to death, how do you plan for it? How do you prepare for it? How do you think of it moving forward beyond that? Really, really heady stuff. We talk about a lot of obstacles that the caller’s had, heart attack being the most pressing one. But there’s a lot going on. I think this caller’s going to give a lot of us some perspective and make us all think about how to think of the future and think about what’s on the other side of life. Hope you get something out of the call. 

Voicemail Robot [00:03:26] Thank you for calling. Beautiful Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host. 

Caller [00:03:34] Hello? 

Chris [00:03:35] Hello. 

Caller [00:03:35] Hi. 

Chris [00:03:36] How are you? 

Caller [00:03:39] I’m doing pretty well. How are you? 

Chris [00:03:43] I’ve been, I would say, weirdly stressed out today. I got one of those situations where it’s a real traffic jam of things that I got to get done. But that’s fine. That’s life. It’s what I’m signed up for. 

Caller [00:03:57] Wow. I appreciate the hour of your time, then. 

Chris [00:04:02] Oh, this will be one of the most relaxed parts of the day. You ever have one of those days where cuz we’ll get to know each other so I don’t know your situation, but for me, like I’m married and you ever have one of those days where you’re feeling stressed out and you think nobody notices? And then like, in my case, my wife calls me after she she went and dropped off our son at day care and then she called me like, Hey, you all right? You seem just stressed out. And I was like, Oh, I thought I thought I was doing a pretty great job of hiding that. You ever have one of those? I’m having one of those. 

Caller [00:04:33] Yes. Actually my husband is pretty good at understanding when I’m stressed. 

Chris [00:04:38] Mm mm. 

Caller [00:04:39] That’s actually one of the reasons I left a voicemail. 

Chris [00:04:43] Oh, interesting. Okay. 

Caller [00:04:48] So how should I start? 

Chris [00:04:50] You tell me. You tell me. 

Caller [00:04:54] First is my audio okay? I have you on speakerphone. 

Chris [00:04:58] It sounds really good to me. I mean, usually speakerphone is a disaster, but this is shockingly clear if this is speakerphone. 

Caller [00:05:06] Awesome. Great. Okay. Well, I am a voicemail call. I left a voicemail. I think it was last week you were doing a live taping at a show. I called in and I didn’t get through. I may have had two glasses of wine. You call it Liquid Courage. And I remembered the voicemail. So I left a voicemail. When I called and left the voicemail, I was writing a document for my husband. And it is a document if I die. And it outlines my wishes for funeral. It outlines my passwords, what accounts he has to close, subscriptions he needs to cancel. And a letter to him about our life. 

Chris [00:05:56] Wow. 

Caller [00:05:57] The reason I was writing that is because I had a heart attack three weeks ago. 

Chris [00:06:03] You did? 

Caller [00:06:05] And I’m 42, so I was not expecting a heart attack at 42. 

Chris [00:06:10] We’re the same age. 

Caller [00:06:14] Yeah. Yes, we are. 

Chris [00:06:15] I’m sitting here talking about how stressed out, how I am just constantly feeling this stress. This is a very, uh, already eye opening call. 

Caller [00:06:28] Well, I mean, you shouldn’t be stressed about a heart attack at 42. What happened to me was pretty rare. I actually have a perfectly healthy heart. And what happened is I have viral myocarditis. Which means the inflammation of the muscle of my heart swelled up and it closed off the blood supply to my heart. And I had a heart attack. 

Chris [00:06:56] Wow. That’s terrifying. That’s terrifying. 

Caller [00:07:02] Yeah, it was pretty scary, that’s for sure. But things are looking pretty good, and I’m feeling pretty good. And I’m seeing my cardiologist on Friday to follow up. And I’m hoping that it was just a temporary acute thing and not a long term thing. 

Chris [00:07:22] And is this something that you- is it something that you knew was a possibility or did it take you by surprise? 

Caller [00:07:29] Absolutely not. It took me by surprise. I do have a history. They called me a Doctor House case.  I have a history of getting weird things or having weird things happen to me. And it could be a virus that I got when I was a teenager, just kind of resurfacing in my body. It could be COVID. I had- I got COVID right when everything shut down in March after meeting a doctor from New York City. And I was sick for over a year with COVID, so I had long COVID. 

Chris [00:08:03] Wow. 

Caller [00:08:04] So it could be related to COVID as well. 

Chris [00:08:07] Mm hmm. 

Caller [00:08:09] And I’m not sure I’ll get an answer on what caused it. 

Chris [00:08:12] Long COVID sounds miserable. And and there’s, you know, people who have effects that lasts a very long time. Like a lot of people when they get it, it’s just for a few days. And then they and then that creates this dialogue of like, why are we why are we stopping our lives? And then you hear about other people who go, Well, I had it for a year, and it may have led to me being a 42 year old woman who had a heart attack, which, you know, I can’t sit here and claim I know the statistics, but I feel like the popular dialogue is that you’re going to be older than 42. And heart attacks, I believe, are known to happen more with men than than women. And you sit there and you go, that could be due to COVID as well. And it’s like, well, that and that’s why we that’s why we still demonstrate caution. 

Caller [00:09:02] Yeah. It’s not something you want to mess around with. I was never severely sick, but I had fevers off and on for about six months. I had a cough for over a year. I had chest pains, but they never found anything wrong at that time. But I wasn’t hospitalized and I never got severely sick. It just keep kept resurfacing in my body for months. 

Chris [00:09:26] Where were you when you had the heart attack? 

Caller [00:09:31] I was at work and I was by myself and I knew it was serious. Basically, women don’t generally get as many signs as men for a heart attack. And mine were quite obvious. I got I was really dizzy and I all of a sudden had chest pain. And then my left arm went numb, like completely numb instantly. And I thought I was having a stroke. So I texted my husband I’m having chest pains just because I wasn’t sure if I was going to pass out or not. And I just wanted someone to know what was going on. 

Chris [00:10:12] Wow. 

Caller [00:10:13] And then, of course, I drove myself to the hospital while having a heart attack. 

Chris [00:10:17] No, we gotta call 911 on that. 

Caller [00:10:22] It was only a couple of blocks, and my work building is kind of strange. I’m on the second floor of a warehouse, and I thought, like, if- I thought that paramedics might not be able to find me if I had. But yeah, it was stupid. 

Chris [00:10:36] No, I’m not trying to make you feel stupid. I just know I recently started driving the ambulance in my town. We got the we got the volunteer squad. And on Tuesday nights, I drive the ambulance. And I can tell you the one thing. 

Caller [00:10:49] No way! 

Chris [00:10:50] Yeah, it’s pretty hilarious and dumb, but also quietly meaningful is what I would say. But I can tell you just for anybody listening, like as the driver, I need the least training out of any EMT on the ambulance. And the one thing they train us all on is CPR and how to use that AED machine, which is all related to heart stuff. So just for anybody listening, if you’re thinking about oh should I call 911? Should I go on my own? This and that, just understand, like any EMT, any paramedic, anybody who meets you, I can tell you I’m at the lowest rung of qualification, and the thing they made me take classes on, CPR and how to operate the AED machine, which is that little suitcase, heart starting machine that’s like on the walls in a lot of public buildings now. So this is also- 

Caller [00:11:44] Yeah, that’s awesome that you’re doing that. 

Chris [00:11:46] Well, it’s it’s fun and it’s gratifying. And I hope it sets a good example for my kid. But then I also hear and then I hear you talking, telling this story, and I’m like, Oh, this is why they train us on everything. This is why they train us in this stuff. Okay. Okay. So you’re at work. You know something’s really wrong. You think you might be having a stroke. So heart stuff isn’t coming into your mind because why would it really, right? You don’t fit the bill of someone who is going to have a heart attack at your age and everything else. 

Caller [00:12:13] Well, there there is something that’s a puzzle here that doesn’t necessarily- it doesn’t make sense, but my brother died last year at 42 from a heart attack. 

Chris [00:12:26] I’m so sorry. 

Caller [00:12:26] But apparently, yeah, it was rough. But apparently our situations are 100% unrelated, which, I mean, I’m not going to question our doctor, but I just think it’s very odd that the two of us both had heart attacks at 42. So, I don’t know what to do with that. But and because of his situation, he did not go to the hospital and he died. I had that in the back of my mind the second I started having chest pain. So I took it pretty seriously. And I’m glad I did.  

Chris [00:13:04] That must have been a motivating thing to go get in the car. I mean, how scary for your family to start getting that call that that you’re having a heart attack as well, that you’re having heart issues. That’s what a nightmare for you and for a lot of the people who love you, I imagine. 

Caller [00:13:22] Yeah. It was pretty scary. And what I had, they called a silent heart attack. So when I first went into the hospital and had the ECG, it wasn’t showing up. But they drew there’s a blood hormone or something- I don’t know what it’s called- it’s called troponin T, and that’s how you measure for damage of a heart attack. And they measured it when they first went in and it was 7, and then they took it again 2 hours and they were going to send me home. And then 2 hours later, my levels were 216, which 14 is the high level. So I was definitely having a heart attack at that time. 

Chris [00:14:03] Let’s pause there. That is an unambiguous sentence. I was definitely having a heart attack at that time. That’s a scary sentence to say. Glad she’s still around to say it. We’re gonna hear about the aftermath of that, the implications of that. Physical, emotional, all sorts of stuff when we get back. Thanks to our advertisers who allow us to bring stories like this to the world. Now let’s get back to the phone call. 

Caller [00:14:31] And then 2 hours later, my levels were 216, which 14 is the high level. So I was definitely having a heart attack at that time. 

Chris [00:14:42] Wait, 14 is a high level and you were 216? 

Caller [00:14:47] Yes. Yeah. And that was the peak of it. 

Chris [00:14:48] So you were 202… 202 above what was would already be concerning? 

Caller [00:14:57] Yes. 

Chris [00:14:59] Wow. 

Caller [00:15:00] Yeah. I was expecting them to come down. They were like, Oh, we’re just gonna do the blood work. And I was in pain, but it wasn’t severe, but I definitely was worried. But he was like, Oh, your blood tests are going to come back fine. And then he comes down 2 hours later and he’s like, You’re being admitted. And I’m like, What? And he’s like, Well, you had an event. And I’m like, What do you mean by that? And he’s like, You had a heart attack. 

Chris [00:15:29] Oof. Oof. 

Caller [00:15:29] Okay. Yeah. And our hospitals were- the cardiac unit was full. So I had to spend that night in the E.R. and that wasn’t very pleasant. But then they moved me into cardio the next day when a bed opened and I was there for two days after that. 

Chris [00:15:49] I’m so glad you I’m so glad you survived and that you’re talking to me now. 

Caller [00:15:55] Yeah, me too. You know what, you kept me sane during the pandemic with all your calls. I am in the event industry, and when everything shut down, I had COVID and my business was tanking and I just would went through every episode of Beautiful/ Anonymous and just kind of was able to escape what was going on every day for a little bit. 

Chris [00:16:17] Happy to- Happy to hear that, especially in light of the fact that you’ve been dealing with such tough times. I, I got to ask. I mean, what you just said is a very nice thing, and I don’t want to blaze past it. Thank you. I’m glad to hear that I helped. And as someone who’s a live performer, I’m with you that live events went away in a heartbeat and it was terrifying. Can’t- I can’t help- who knows if it contributed to your heart attack, but the stress of being in live entertainment right now, live events right now, it can’t help. That stress can help the heart for all of us. I do have to ask. 

Caller [00:16:58] No I actually. 

Chris [00:17:00] Go for it. 

Caller [00:17:01] Go ahead. 

Chris [00:17:01] No, no, no. You say you actually what? 

Caller [00:17:03] Well I just said that I’m closing that business. I actually- and I had another business that I started, but so I’m actually under a lot less stress now. 

Chris [00:17:13] Okay, good, good. 

Caller [00:17:14] It’s kind of funny that this happened now. 

Chris [00:17:17] Yeah. I’m glad to hear that you’re not recovering from this and trying to navigate the world of live events. We we none of none of us know in the next surge is coming that’s going to shut everything down. Glad to hear it. You deserve something a little more chill right now in your life. And I’m glad to hear you got it. I do have to ask. 

Caller [00:17:38] I have that, actually- go ahead. 

Chris [00:17:41] No, you say it. 

Caller [00:17:45] No, no, no. I want to know what you have to ask. I’m curious. 

Chris [00:17:47] I got to ask. I mean, you had mentioned you know, you’ve mentioned the heart attack and that’s terrifying. It’s traumatic in its own right. But you also mentioned that you recently had to sit down and write out instructions for your husband and passwords and things that need to be canceled. And that’s companion trauma. But I have to imagine, like very traumatic in its own right. 

Caller [00:18:14] It was actually very peaceful to do. Which is strange to say, but like I said, I’m pretty unlucky. And about eight years ago we had 152 year old house and our chimney collapsed and I had carbon monoxide poisoning. So my life’s kind of ridiculous. But anyway. 

Chris [00:18:35] You had carbon monoxide poisoning? 

Caller [00:18:37] It was long term. It wasn’t enough to kill me. Yes. And it was over a period of a year that we didn’t know. And it wasn’t enough to kill me, but it was enough to create neurological damage. 

Chris [00:18:49] Oh, God. 

Caller [00:18:51] And it was like I would pass out and all this stuff. And at one point, I started having seizures, and that’s when they figured out what was going on. And during that time, they thought maybe I had ALS or MS. So I had to kind of think about death a lot during that time. And I ended up not having anything permanent, which is great, but it made me at peace with my life. My life is better than I thought it would have been as a teenager, and that makes me very happy. 

Chris [00:19:27] It’s always nice to think about the long game.  

Caller [00:19:28] And so when I was writing that letter to my husband… What’s that? 

Chris [00:19:33] It is nice. You know, when you’re dealing with short term problems, adversities, stresses, to step back and go, What would teenage me think of my life? That is that is a nice way to kind of help push through some of the stresses that are right here right now in your face. I do that often as well. I think that’s a good technique. 

Caller [00:19:56] I agree. And that’s why writing the letter wasn’t sad. I mean, it’s sad that I had to write it, but my husband was away on a camping trip with friends, and I know he was nervous to even leave me because it was the week after I had the heart attack. But I told him to go. I told him like I know when to get to the hospital if I need to. But we’ve had a lot of family members die in the past few years, and we had to kind of figure out their wishes. And it’s really hard to be on that side when they aren’t clear. So I wanted things to be absolutely clear from my husband of what I wanted. 

Chris [00:20:36] Were there any things you wrote down- it sounds like a lot of it was informational. Here’s the prescriptions to cancel. Here’s the bills that are in my name. Here’s the passwords to bank accounts. Were there any things you wound up writing that went beyond that, that you surprised yourself with? Were there any things you put down on the page and went, Oh, I didn’t anticipate that. 

Caller [00:21:00] Yes. I mean I wrote to him. And I think one of the things that I after I thought about it, I was surprised, is that I want him to move on if I die and to be happy with anyone that comes into his life at the right moment. And I 100% want that to happen for him if I were to pass. I also outlined my funeral wishes because I have very specific uh requests. I don’t want to be buried. I hate caskets. I hate- I just think environmentally and practically, it’s just a terrible thing for… to do. 

Chris [00:21:47] Mm hmm. 

Caller [00:21:47] So I want my body to be donated to medical science. And then… cremated. And then on my- I don’t really want a funeral, but if he wants to do that, he can. But on the first birthday, after I pass away, I want everybody to go on a booze cruise. And so Viking funerals, I looked into this, are not legal. So. Do you know what a Viking funeral is? 

Chris [00:22:20] I believe it’s a thing where, like, your body is floated out to sea on like a wooden raft, and then people shoot flaming arrows into it to burn your body as you float away into nothingness. 

Caller [00:22:31] Exactly. I would love one of those, but…

Chris [00:22:33] Hmm. Who would think that wouldn’t be legal? Who would think that floating a dead body off the shore and shooting flaming arrows at it would be illegal? 

Caller [00:22:43] Yeah, well, go figure. Apparently, the body doesn’t decompose well in that situation, so. So my idea is just have a booze cruise on my birthday the year and, like, have a little boat covered in flowers and people shoot flaming arrows at that. And it has to be a fun party and a celebration of life more than mourning. 

Chris [00:23:06] So you’re going to have like a pseudo you’re going to have like a pseudo Viking funeral?

Caller [00:23:12] Yeah. I wouldn’t want them to break the law for me. 

Chris [00:23:15] Sure, sure. So a pseudo Viking funeral. I love that. Love that. Big party. Love that. 

Caller [00:23:29] Yeah. Yeah. Didn’t have any other requests, but I did list out for him- because they gave me in the hospital a living will to fill out, and I left all of my preferences for life support. 

Chris [00:23:49] Oh wow. 

Caller [00:23:49] And when to kinda turn things off. And kind of had to come to terms with that. But I know my husband and I know that he would really torture himself over not having that decision may that be. So I made it. 

Chris [00:24:07] So there’s no option in here for him. It’s if it hits if it hits this level, you can keep the machines going and we’ll keep fighting. And if it hits this level, please let me go. 

Caller [00:24:17] Yep. In my directive- so there’s different ways that they list out your preferences for things. And in my directive, I selected that I have to be able to continue to talk to family and friends. I have to be able to wake up from a coma. I have to be able to feed, bathe, or take care of myself. And I have to live without being hooked up to machines. Those are my four qualifications. 

Chris [00:24:40] So those are pretty high. Those are pretty high standards. There’s a lot of situations where you would be let go then. 

Caller [00:24:48] Yeah. 

Chris [00:24:50] Wow. 

Caller [00:24:50] And I’d be okay with that because I wouldn’t want to leave the burden on my husband to feed me and bathe me every day. 

Chris [00:24:59] I mean, it does beg the question that we haven’t totally gotten into, which is, you know, how much of this is you’ve been through something very scary, something that put your mortality in your face. This is precautionary. This feels necessary because of that. Versus, have you been told that there is a higher likelihood of of more heart attacks, more and more issues, a higher likelihood of death, I guess, is is the question? 

Caller [00:25:25] Well, yes, there is a much higher likelihood of death, even within the first year. And I’ll know more on Friday when I see the cardiologist. But the mortality can be up to 50% in five years. 

Chris [00:25:41] 50%? 

Caller [00:25:43] But I’m- yeah, but I don’t know if that’s my case. If it’s chronic, yes. If it’s acute, no. So I’m seeing what my situation is. And I had to wear a heart monitor for two weeks. And I did go to the hospital the week after I had my heart attack thinking I had another and everything came back okay. But that ECG did say I had some damage from the heart attack, so I’ll find out on Friday what the extent of that is. 

Chris [00:26:14] Well, so this this letter you’re writing is not just an exercise in, well, this is something I should have because of a traumatic incident. It’s this is something I should have because no one can tell me what’s going on. And and statistics now say that within a few years, I might be having some serious issues and and even might be on my way out. 

Caller [00:26:37] Yeah. 

Chris [00:26:39] Wow. 

Caller [00:26:39] Yeah, but at the same time I mean, so I mentioned earlier, like I never expected as a teenager to even live past 30. I had a very rough childhood and I had a mentally ill mother. My stepdad or my dad raised me as a single dad. And I got into some bad stuff when I was a teenager. And then when I met my husband, I was 19 and he was just the greatest guy I’ve ever met and I felt so comfortable with him, and he completely made me change my life for the better. And I can’t believe the life I’m living now because I was headed down a pretty dark road then. And I’m very happy and proud of the life that I’ve had at this point. And I wanted him to know that in the letter. So I definitely outlined that. 

Chris [00:27:34] Wow. Wow. You know, the cliche is you see your life flash before your eyes and you feel all you know and all these regrets. Did you did you sense any of that? Did you walk away from this going, okay, I’ve got I’ve got some extra time now to try to correct some of these regrets that I had or, you know, things you haven’t done that are on your to do list. Did you find any motivation like that or was it more of a holy shit, my chest hurts. I need to get to the hospital. What’s going on? 

Caller [00:28:11] I mean, it was the second. But as I was writing the letter, it was very good for me because I’m very happy with my life. I’m a happy person. I escaped a lot of mental illness that was going through my family. And I have I’ve been in a situation where I created a career of my dreams and I did some pretty amazing things with my career and I traveled the world. I’ve been to South Africa, New Zealand, Central America. I’ve done a lot of traveling. And it’s like I’ve I’ve really enjoyed my life. So I’m at peace with that. 

Chris [00:28:51] What a good thing. What a good thing to have that be the predominant feeling of like, I’m at peace. I wound up I wound up doing better than I thought. I wound up escaping a lot of things that that seemed insurmountable. I’m at peace. What a nice thing. 

Caller [00:29:10] It is. And I feel like I’ve done a lot of good things in this world to the people around me, and I really have no regrets. I could live another 30 or 40 years, but I mean, I think the chances of that have gone down a little bit. But I’ve just had to come to terms that it might happen. And I wanted my husband and my family to know my thoughts on it. 

Chris [00:29:40] You’ve mentioned your husband a lot. I’m wondering if you have any kids. 

Caller [00:29:45] I do not. Which I think changes the way I think about things. Because if I had kids, I was actually thinking about this today, I would be sad that I’d be missing out on things. 

Chris [00:29:58] Yeah. 

Caller [00:30:01] We don’t have that. So I think if I, if I had children, that would be the hardest thing. Miss milestones, but… 

Chris [00:30:12] Yeah. 

Caller [00:30:14] Yeah. 

Chris [00:30:17] Wow. 

Caller [00:30:18] Sorry. 

Chris [00:30:21] No. No, it’s, it’s. 

Caller [00:30:22] It’s kind of heavy as a parent to hear. 

Chris [00:30:23] No, of course. I mean it- but it’s also just the reality of, like, my whole perspective on mortality has changed the past few years. My whole perspective on why I get out of bed is like, Let me see what funny stuff Cal does today. Let me see what cool stuff he gets up to. Like he’s got- how is he going to blow my mind this week? Like that keeps happening. And then he’s only three, you know? This kid started pooping in the potty, by the way. Big time news for all our listeners. 

Caller [00:30:50] Oh, good job! 

Chris [00:30:51] He’s pulled it off like four times now. Once in a public toilet. Once not even in the comfort of his own space. And now he’s not doing it every time. And it’s frustrating, but four different potty poops out here. And like, that’s the type of thing where I go, Oh, man, thank God I didn’t do anything, you know, thank God I never I jumped off a bridge in my twenties or whatever. Not to be too macabre, but I feel like you and I could talk about it, certainly. Like, thank God I get to stick around and see all this stuff. Like, he gives me good reason. It it it sounds like you’re, uh, sounds like your husband has been a real rock in your life, and that occupies, you know, not the same- a husband and a kid are not the same- but a similar sort of this is the person you want to make sure all your thoughts are left with and your legacy is left with and and good feelings are left with. 

Caller [00:31:49] Yes. For sure.  

Chris [00:31:51] I have to ask, does your husband poop in the potty?

Caller [00:31:53] Yeah, we have a lot of- yeah he poops very well in the potty. For sure.

Chris [00:31:59] Nice. Good, good, good, good. That’s always. Imagine if you were like actually, there’s a whole other medical story here. He’s been going through some stuff as well and he can’t poop in the body, unfortunately. No. Why am I even- why did I even say that? Why did I say that out loud? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 

Caller [00:32:18] It’s cool. Oh, yeah. I think I would have definite different thoughts if I had a child, but and I- we did want children early on in our marriage but we just decided if it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen, and we were going to be okay with that. And I’m okay with it. Actually, I just got a hysterectomy this year, so it’s definitely not going to happen. But we wouldn’t have been able to travel the world like we’d have. And I like our quiet home. So it just is kind of how life worked out and I’m okay with that too. 

Chris [00:32:56] You also have freedom now, if you’re having these instincts to check things off your bucket list, you have less- you have less logistics and less hoops to jump through. Like, I couldn’t do a bucket list right now. The kid has preschool four days a week. If you’re like, I want to… I want to go skydiving. I want to go- I’ve never been to Australia. Like, if you want to start checking things off your list, you have more freedom to do so. Are you are you are you feeling any of those instincts? 

Caller [00:33:26] Yeah. I mean, we were already doing that before I got sick. Like I wanted to go to South Africa so we went to South Africa and Zimbabwe and saw Victoria Falls. So we’ve already been kind of living our bucket list. My theory has always been I want to travel when my body is young and able to do hikes and enjoy the natural beauty of wherever we’re going, rather than wait till I’m old. So that definitely is a perk of not having kids. Not not- I love kids, but I kind of love the life I ended up with as well. 

Chris [00:34:07] Let’s pause there. That is some real perspective. That is some real hey, here’s what my life is. Here’s where it’s at, here’s why I feel lucky. Let’s go, let’s go do things, go see stuff. It’s cool. We can all find our own version of that. That’s my guess. Anyway, ponder that. We’ll be right back. Thank you to our advertisers. Very lucky to have you and lucky to bring this show to the world. Now, let’s finish off the phone call. 

Caller [00:34:32] I want to travel when my body is young and able to do hikes and enjoy the natural beauty of wherever we’re going, rather than wait till I’m old. So that definitely is a perk of not having kids. Not not- I love kids, but I kind of love the life I ended up with as well. 

Chris [00:34:56] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, I love my- people have- people have listened week by week as I’ve talked about my son and he’s become part of my life. And that’s been it’s funny because this show is all about the calls and the callers, but then I’m the common thread and everybody’s gotten to listen to me grow up and calm down and become who I am. And certainly he’s everyone can hear he’s like a part of the fabric of my life in a way that’s indispensable and indescribable and emotional. That being said, I’d love if I could just turn around to Hallie and just be like, we should go to South Africa. You want to go next month? Or should we wait a little longer, see if we can get any friends to come? I mean, that is- I can’t tell you how jealous I am of that. 

Caller [00:35:37] Yeah. I mean, there’s ups and downs to everyone’s situation. 

Chris [00:35:41] Oh, for sure. 

Caller [00:35:42] And I- my situation, I’m like when my husband and I do pass, we have no one to pass anything on to. And that is something that you kind of think about. But I’m outlining charities where I want my resources to go to. 

Chris [00:36:02] What you want your what to go to? 

Caller [00:36:06] My money. 

Chris [00:36:07] Oh your money. Got it. 

Caller [00:36:08] My money I’ve earned through my career. 

Chris [00:36:09] Got it. Got it. I thought- you said resources. I thought you said race horses. I briefly thought you said I want- here’s the char- and I thought you were holding out and that you have been breeding race horses this whole time and haven’t mentioned. Resources. That makes a lot more sense. A lot more sense. 

Caller [00:36:28] But that’s a lot more exciting. 

Chris [00:36:29] Imagine if it’s like, oh, on top of that, part of the high stress of my life is that I’m a top level racehorse breeder and regularly participate in the Preakness and the Kentucky Derby. Haven’t mentioned it. Now, you you’ve said a couple of things. I got to ask… And who knows if this will lead to anything. But you mentioned like you’ve put in you’ve put very specific instructions on when machines should be turned off. You know, when the do not resuscitate orders should happen. And you said that you feel like your husband would just keep fighting if you weren’t very specific about it. You also said that one of the things- I had asked you if you wrote anything in your instructions to him, your letters to him, should you pass away, and you said one of the surprising things, one of the first things you said was that you said you have to move on. And I’m okay if you do. And I want you to. Do you think that if you hadn’t given your husband that permission, if that wasn’t explicitly laid out, do you think that- is he the type of guy that would stay single in your honor forever without you, without you giving that permission? 

Caller [00:37:47] He would struggle with it. But my husband’s also a very likable guy, so everybody loves him. So I think eventually he would find someone, but he would probably feel some guilt. Yeah. I don’t know. The thing is, his father passed away three years ago. My grandmother had dementia. We didn’t know her wishes. And then my brother, when he passed, I- well specifically for my brother- well, he had to go through the thing with his dad, and he didn’t know his dad’s wishes. But for my brother, I was the person trying to find out, like all of his accounts, what happened, and things like that. And it’s a really difficult situation to be left in. And we both been through it multiple times in the past few years. 

Chris [00:38:40] Yeah, it sounds like you’ve really been through it as a couple. You know, you’ve had a lot of loss in your life. 

Caller [00:38:49] We sure have. But only recently, though. Just the past two years of kind of took us through the ringer with that. 

Chris [00:38:57] But it also sounds like you grew up in some very unstable circumstances as well. 

Caller [00:39:05] Yeah. Yeah, I have. Which is why I’m very grateful I’m mentally stable. Because I probably shouldn’t be. But I just have always… I don’t know. 

Chris [00:39:21] Yeah. You haven’t. You haven’t had it easy, huh? 

Caller [00:39:26] No. But I’ve also always had the drive to make whatever I want happen. And it’s happened. And because of that, like I… I’m I’m just proud that I’m a strong, happy person through all of this.

Chris [00:39:47] Yeah. 

Caller [00:39:49] It’s one of those what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And I’ve had a lot of things try to kill me. 

Chris [00:39:55] Yeah. That phrase is very real for you, huh? That which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. And believe me, my count was 200, 200 points above healthy, so you must- you’re like Incredible Hulk level strong. 

Caller [00:40:13] I’ve heard of people getting- I don’t know much about troponin T, but I’ve heard of people getting like levels in the thousands. So I’m thinking- and I don’t really know- I’m trying not to Google it, but I’m thinking it- on a scale of a heart attack, it may have been a low one, but I have no clue. 

Chris [00:40:29] It’s still very sobering to hear like, okay, so we get concerned around 14 and you’re up in the two hundreds. Who knows what the scale is? You’re right. The scale- there might be cardiologists listening right now going, well, that’s that’s concerning, obviously, and very scary. And she’s doing the right thing by by seeing doctors and preparing for the worst. But it’s not the worst thing. But for people like you and I, who are just going about our lives until you’re at work one day and all of a sudden it feels like a fist is gripping your heart and you’re going, Oh, no, no, no. 200 above 14? That’s that that’s terrifying. 

Caller [00:41:07] Yeah. I could see the level of concern in my doctors. So I knew. I knew it was the real deal. But yeah, they felt comfortable to send me home. And it’s funny because they kept me in the hospital for a couple of nights and they put me on a beta blocker and apparently a side effect of the beta blocker is making your heart stop. And my heart stopped three times the day that I was discharged. 

Chris [00:41:33] What? 

Caller [00:41:33] And that was a little unsettling. 

Chris [00:41:35] Your heart stopped three times? 

Caller [00:41:36] It only stopped it stopped for 3 to 6 seconds. And like every time it happened, I felt like I was in the déja vu state. The nurse would run in and she’s like, Are you okay? And I’m like, I don’t know what just happened. But apparently my heart was stopping most times. So I was a little nervous to get released that day. But it was supposed to. It was supposedly a side effect of the beta blocker. I haven’t had my heart pause that I know of since. I hope not. 

Chris [00:42:05] What’s that feel like? What’s it feel like when your heart stops? I know that’s a dumb it’s a very basic question, but I don’t know if I’ve ever talked to anybody who could tell me, yeah, I was awake and my heart stopped and a nurse ran in. And hearing you say that the nurse is like, you alright? and you’re like, well, my fucking heart stopped. 

Caller [00:42:26] It was the most bizarre thing ever. It was like I was awake and having R.E.M. dreams, but it was like a déja vu feeling. Like the nurse told me she left her favorite pair of scissors on the bus, and my heart had stopped right as she was saying that, and I’m like, you already told me that. And then her cell phone rings and it’s the nursing station saying, My heart just stopped. And I’m like, I had it again. And she’s like, Yeah, you did. So it was freaky. 

Chris [00:42:53] Whoa. 

Caller [00:42:55] There’s definitely something neurological going on when it happened. 

Chris [00:42:58] Something what? Psychological going on? 

Caller [00:43:02] Neurological, like. 

Chris [00:43:03] Neurological. 

Caller [00:43:04] It felt like a a. Yeah. 

Chris [00:43:07] And what do they do? Do they just go, well, it restarted, so we’re good? Keep on livin, have fun. Or do they- is that a whole new battery of tests? 

Caller [00:43:15] They just… They, they monitor me. My nurse. Which, by the way, nurses are like the most amazing people on the planet. My nurse was worried because I had to go down for a two hour long MRI of my heart within the next hour after it had started happening. So she was actually really scared to have me off the machine just to get to the MRI room. So she escorted me to my MRI and back just in case something happened. And it didn’t. I was okay. But yeah. She was a sweetheart. 

Chris [00:43:57] Man. 

Caller [00:43:58] It didn’t stop after that. 

Chris [00:44:01] This is the realest stuff. 

Caller [00:44:06] Well, the weirdest part about all of it, so the morning after my heart, my heart attack, I had to go for a heart catheterization, which they take a needle and they go through a vein in your wrist and it goes to your heart and they can see it like a camera to your heart. There was absolutely no damage or disease or anything wrong with my heart. It’s a perfectly healthy heart and it’s just so crazy I had a heart attack. And they were really confused about it too. And it wasn’t until they did the MRI that they saw the inflammation that caused it. 

Chris [00:44:40] Wow. 

Caller [00:44:43] Yeah. 

Chris [00:44:44] Oof. Oof. 

Caller [00:44:47] It was bizarre. 

Chris [00:44:52] Really bizarre. 

Caller [00:44:54] Like I said, I’ve had a lot of kind of freak medical things happen. And I kind of think this was Covid. 

Chris [00:44:59] Why do you think that was? Why do you think you’ve had death and and freak medical stuff- why you? Why you? Why your family? Why you? Do you think about that? 

Caller [00:45:12] I don’t know. I do. But I think every time something happens, I just appreciate life more. But yeah, I’m a freak case. I know like normal people have to worry about this kind of stuff. But yeah, I went blind when I was 17. I had a disease in my eye. And I regained my sight once they treated it. 

Chris [00:45:31] You went blind?! 

Caller [00:45:36] Yeah. 

Chris [00:45:37] What happened? Wait, what happened with your eye? 

Caller [00:45:41] I had toxoplasmosis, and a lot of people have it. Like 80% of the population has it. But I got it in my optic nerve and it made eye swell- my optic nerve swell shut. So I lost my vision for a year in my right eye. That could also be what caused the heart attack too. They don’t know. But. Yeah. I’m a freak case. 

Chris [00:46:05] Wait, how old were you when you went blind? 

Caller [00:46:09] 18?  

Chris [00:46:12] We could just be talking about that for an hour, that you went blind when you were 18 and had to relearn sight. 

Caller [00:46:19] Yeah. Yeah. Everybody says I need to write a memoir. 

Chris [00:46:25] You better write it all down now, huh? 

Caller [00:46:29] Well. I started with a letter to my husband. So. 

Chris [00:46:34] Wow. Wow. 

Caller [00:46:39] But I look at my life and my career- I don’t want to say what I do because I feel like I’ve already said some very specific things that if someone knew me they know it’s me. But I had a pretty exciting career and got to do some pretty amazing things and worked with some celebrities on big events. And I just think that I’ve had a really cool adulthood. And I think that’s why I’m at peace with everything. 

Chris [00:47:15] It’s… You know, we’ve talked so much about the heart attack. You’ve mentioned you went blind. You mentioned your brother passed away. You mentioned your background growing up. It sounds like it was not the most stable. I’m gonna ask you a question that’s like a big philosophical question. 

Caller [00:47:37] Sure. 

Chris [00:47:38] Might not be fair. You might, you might just go, hey, I’m rolling my ass at that one. What are you doing to me, Gethard? And that’s fair, if that’s the answer. But you’re sitting here and saying, like, you’re at peace and you had this great adult life and you had gotten into some really bad stuff when you were 19, you met your husband and he was a person in your life who helped, you know, helped you find your way out of that. And the strength of that relationship helped you find stability, however you want to phrase it. These are the bullet points you’ve laid out. But in 42 years, you’ve seen a lot. You’ve lost a lot. You’ve been through a lot. And yet you’re talking about how you’ve lived a cool life. I’m wondering if if in light of everything that’s happened to you recently, do you do you ever sit around and go, is life good or bad? Like, do you have any insight into that, that maybe I haven’t, considering I haven’t seen death up close? That I haven’t had to sit down and write a letter to my spouse about what happens if I go? And in light of the fact that you’ve had a hard life, do you sit here and go, is life a good thing or is it a hard thing? 

Caller [00:48:47] I think life’s a great thing, but there are times like when I was a teenager, I was suicidal. I just you’re going to think I’m crazy for saying this, but I think I’m a very lucky person because of the people who have come into my life and have supported me and the experiences I’ve had. I know that sounds so bizarre after you just listed all the things that have happened to me. Yeah, I just I don’t know. I don’t think life’s bad at all. But there have been times in my life when I did, but those were the times in my life where I did not have control of my life either. And I’ve kind of taken control of my life and I make it positive. 

Chris [00:49:36] That’s very interesting. That’s a very interesting answer. That when you take control of your own life, life gets good. That’s a very, very- that’s not an answer I was expecting. And it’s really interesting. 

Caller [00:49:51] Yeah. I’ve taken a lot of I’ve taken a lot of risks to build the life (UNCLEAR) and they’ve worked out and I’ve been lucky at the same time. So. Yeah. I’m living my dream life right now, and I never thought I would be. 

Chris [00:50:09] What a cool thing to be able to say. 

Caller [00:50:14] Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I feel like this call’s been more somber than I wanted it to be. 

Chris [00:50:22] No. You know, what’s shocking is it’s like at the end of the day, if the base level of what we’re going to talk about is like, so I had a pretty concerning heart attack and drove myself to the hospital and I have to seriously think about laying out instructions for my husband because the likelihood that I die within five years has increased exponentially. Like, yeah, this is not going to turn into a call where we’re like giggling and whatnot, but I would say I’ve been far more somber than you. That’s kind of the way it goes sometimes too, though, right? It’s like you’re in the middle of it. You’ve actually been laughing and explaining some stuff in a way that’s very positive. And I’m the one sitting here going, Oh my God, we’re the same age. Like, how do you handle this? How do you think about that? And that’s really eye opening as well. It’s really eye opening as well. Because what does that reflect? That reflects. 

Caller [00:51:14] That (UNCLEAR) 

Chris [00:51:16] Well, it also tells me that I’m like you’re sitting here saying, when I’ve taken control of my own life, life feels good. And I’m sitting here and I’m writing this note to my husband. And I’m sure there’s moments where that’s hard and it’s somber, but it also says to you like, there’s been times where, as you’re describing, it sounds like it’s also been very relieving and very empowering and in a lot of ways very hopeful. And there’s a part of me that’s sitting here going, well, this is a reflection of, yeah, taking control of your life, using the time you have… Finding ways to get motivated and make the most out of time while you have it. You’re someone who’s had to think very hard about that in a realistic way. You’re someone who has had to really put a focus on that. And I’m sitting here going, Maybe I’ll spend a little less time playing Wordl and a little bit more time thinking about how to make those choices that are gratifying and that do make me feel in control of my life. And I’m somebody who I do- I have a very I have a very similar thing where sometimes I will find myself getting very, very stressed and I’ll take a step back and I’ll go, you know, I’ve never had to put on a shirt and tie and I’ve never had to get yelled at by a boss. And sometimes that’s been, you know, tumultuous and uncertain. But I have defined my own life in a way I’m proud of. Remember that. Like, remember that that’s a good thing. And that’s the thing you always set out to do, and I remind myself of it. But this call is like a, in the most pleasant way, it’s like a cold shower that’s reminding me, like, you got to make some active choices to squeeze the most out of time, because it’s not limitless. And you have this, like, 42. You and I are the same. You and I are the same age. And like you said before, like you go, I’m not dealing with the fact that for me, it’s not it’s probably not three or four decades, which is we all sit around and knock on wood and go, we got three, four decades and maybe I should be doing a little more physical stuff since my back is starting to hurt and my knees aren’t good. Should I- are there any sports I wanted to learn or any any any physical- do any hikes and mountains I want to climb? Like, but I got decades. I got decades. And you go, no, you might not. No, you might not. And this call is reminding me of that. And it’s actually not somber. I’m somber. You’re making me think about my mortality, but you’re actually coming off as somebody who’s pretty chill. 

Caller [00:53:47] So I had a kind of a life changing thing in my career where I went to train under someone that was one of the top in the world in my career. And I only trained for a couple of days, but I was terrified to travel on my own. And it was in New York City. And I just decided, you know, I’m going to take the risk and I’m going to go do this. And I’m a total introvert so it was hard. But I faced my fear and I felt so empowered. And then I just started saying, like, I basically shot down fear in my life and I just started proposing crazy ideas to my clients and they were like, Yes! And I got to do some crazy things. And that side of my life, which I won’t mention what I do, was pretty damn cool. 

Chris [00:54:39] I shot down fear in my life. Do you- that’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard anybody say. You just said the sentence, “I shot down fear in my life”. That’s what you said, right? 

Caller [00:54:51] Yeah. It was life changing. I if I want to do something, I figure out a way to make it happen. And I do it. And it’s empowering and I’ve done some really cool shit. 

Chris [00:55:03] That’s cool. 

Caller [00:55:04] And I probably wouldn’t have done it if I just- it was so out of my comfort zone to fly to New York City and go to this. But I walked away a different person. And ever since, I don’t let fear affect me at all. And I just do what I want. 

Chris [00:55:24] And even in the face of all this, you know, it sounds like professionally, you said basically, I will not be driven by fear. I will not be a fearful person. And it unlocked everything for you. Do these medical issues, do they bring fear back into your life? Does losing your brother at a young age, does that bring that fear into your life? Or do you feel like once you’ve unlocked that, that feeling of, you know, when I can eliminate fear, things get so much better, so much more exciting. Does that start to extend even to these things that are so in your face, so personal, so adverse? 

Caller [00:55:56] I well, I mean, a heart attack is pretty scary. So it is fearful and I have had pain since it’s happened in my chest and I’m always like, is this happening again? 

Chris [00:56:08] Yeah. 

Caller [00:56:08] And I carry around a blood pressure cuff and an ECG portable device in my purse everywhere I go, which, when I was cleaning out my brother’s car after he died, I found the backpack he carried every day with him. And the only thing in it was a blood pressure cuff. And I’m like, what are the the odds that my brother and I are both 42 year olds walking around with blood pressure cuffs? So, yeah, there is a level of fear with death. And I don’t want it to happen, but I’m at peace with it if it does.  

Chris [00:56:44] And have you thought about… Have you thought about this as motivation, as someone who just laid out, like, again, so badass. Like, I shot down fear in my life. Went to New York City. Started pitching crazy ideas to my clients. They went for it. I took some big risks. And when they got on board, I got to execute some stuff I’m immensely proud of. And now you’re balancing it with, well, yeah, I’m finding my brother’s equipment. I’m realizing I have the same thing. It is scary. How do those two Venn diagrams cross over? Like as someone who you said, like, I’ve done this traveling, I’ve seen stuff. Are there any things where you’re like turning to your husband and you’re going… We’ve always said vaguely we want to do X, Y and Z. Guess what? We’re doing them. I’m booking the tickets for November or whatever. Like are, are there things that you’re you’re saying it’s go time on life right now, screw this fear, we’re not letting it control us? Or are you not at that point yet? 

Caller [00:57:44] Uh, I would be. But I’m waiting for that cardiologist follow up to know if this is permanent. I don’t even know if I should be on a plane. I don’t know if I should be exercising. I don’t know if I should be limiting caffeine. They didn’t give me a lot of instructions. So I’m afraid to make any jumps right now just because I, I don’t want to die. And I don’t know what’s the risk for me. So until I kind of figure out more of what’s going on, I should just… 

Chris [00:58:20] Oh, wait. Hello? Hello? Your audio has gotten dead. 

Caller [00:58:28] Hello? Can you hear me? 

Chris [00:58:28] Oh, six and a half minutes left. And it was almost this like poetic representation of we never know when we’re going to go. 

Caller [00:58:34] Okay, is this better? 

Chris [00:58:35] Oh, so much better. 

Caller [00:58:38] Can you hear me, Chris? 

Chris [00:58:38] I can. Can you hear me? 

Caller [00:58:40] Okay. I took you off speaker. Sorry.

Chris [00:58:42] That was like a phone call version of like, oh, remember everybody, we don’t know how much time we’ve got. You think you have 6 minutes left. You might not. It was like a living version of it. It was like a current moment of it. 

Caller [00:58:55] Oh, sorry. Oh, what if I actually had a heart attack then? That would have been terrible. 

Chris [00:59:00] No! Don’t even say it. I mean, listen, the downloads would be off the charts, and I’m sure we’d get written up in all the cool publications that cover podcasts. But it’s the last thing I want. It’s the last thing I want. 

Caller [00:59:11] Yeah. You would definitely be famous for this call. 

Chris [00:59:14] Well, listen, this being famous is overrated, and I don’t need to be famous. I’d much, much rather talk to you than listen to you have a heart attack. I don’t care about that. It’s a dark joke to even make. 

Caller [00:59:27] I was so nervous before this call, but you just have the most relaxing personality to talk to. 

Chris [00:59:32] Well, there’s no consequences to this. And I feel like you and I, if there’s anybody who should come to realize, it’s like, what are the consequences of this? Your story gets on record, right? And it’s going pretty well. If it was going poorly, what? Then we just don’t put it out? Okay. That happens once in a blue moon. But there’s no consequences to this. And now hopefully we follow up with you in five, six, seven years. Hopefully we’re still doing this show. We call and you say, yeah, I’m outliving all these projections. They said increases within five years, but I’m at six. Screw it. And here’s all the things I’ve learned in the face of that. Or, God forbid, you do pass on, well, now we’ve got to hear exactly what it’s like to have this sort of catastrophic event happen with your heart and to be aware of that and to have to reconcile that. And it’s going to help a lot of people. It’s helping me. 

Caller [01:00:29] You know, it’s funny. I’m not going to tell my husband I did this. He never listens to your show. He doesn’t listen to podcasts. So I’m not going to tell my husband, but I’ll put it in my document that I left to listen to this episode. 

Chris [01:00:41] Oh, now that makes me feel a lot of pressure. 

Caller [01:00:43] So that’ll be part of my instructions. 

Chris [01:00:45] Well, I do have to say. 

Caller [01:00:46] Oh, no. 

Chris [01:00:47] Well, I got to say, too, because you’ve talked about your husband in the context of this event and things you’ve learned and what you’ve had to lay out to him. But you also have indicated so many times, and I and I hope he’s hearing this then, and, you know, we only have we have about three and a half minutes left. I’m wondering then if you’re going to say, hey, go listen to this… So much of this has been about the circumstances and the logistics and the reactions to it. But there’s also been all these dots that are very easy to connect that show the immensely profound effect he’s had on your life. I wonder if you’d want to speak to that, if you’re going to say to him, hey, listen to this if I pass away, I wonder with these last few minutes if there’s anything you’d want to say to him in light of that. 

Caller [01:01:31] Sure. Yeah. I mean, he found me when I was in a bad spot and, um, encouraged me to go back to college. I was having trouble reading because of my eye issues at that time. He supported me when I was in a lot of debt in the beginning of my career. He supported me through the pandemic. Like I couldn’t have asked for a kinder, supportive, funny guy. And the one thing I put in here in my letter to him is he’s always joked that if I die, he’s going to sprinkle my ashes into the ground and grow tomatoes from them and then feed them to people. And I specifically said he’s not allowed to do that. He’s a little weird. 

Chris [01:02:21] I love that- I love that that’s what came up when I opened the door to this emotional this potentially emotional tidal wave of a moment, we do get to also find out that your husband’s sense of humor is to grow death tomatoes. That you may live on through the tomatoes and the soil he’ll mix with your ashes. Dark sense of humor on this guy, huh? 

Caller [01:02:45] If he’s listening to this, you’re not allowed to do that, okay? 

Chris [01:02:49] No death tomatoes. 

Caller [01:02:52] He’s a cool guy. I definitely feel like I don’t deserve him, but I hope I’ve made him happy on what I’ve become because of him… But yeah… I’m guessing we’re pretty low on time. 

Chris [01:03:12] Minute and a half. Anything you feel like we haven’t gotten to yet that you want to get to? 

Caller [01:03:19] Uh no. I just I thank you for having this podcast. And also, if anybody is listening to this and knows who I am because of the ultra specific things that have gone on with my health, please don’t out me publicly. 

Chris [01:03:36] Yeah, there might be somebody out there going like, I have a friend who was blind in her teenage years who also recently had a heart attack in her early forties. I wonder if it’s her?Probably is. Probably is. So just yeah, just be cool about it. Can we just not dox? Can we avoid the doxing? I also I want to say on my end I want to thank you because I’m left sitting here going you were saying before like it’s more macabre. It’s actually not. And I’m sitting here right now thinking about how happy my wife has made me in my life, how happy my kid makes me, how lucky my life’s been, and how I need to slow down and let some of the stress go. And to enjoy that more and to realize that I’m already at an age, 42, where it is time to enjoy the things instead of worrying about the next thing. So thank you for that. Cuz I think I needed this one today in a big way. 

Caller [01:04:22] Yeah. Figure out a way to go to Africa. 

Chris [01:04:24] Yeah. Someday. Someday. 

Caller [01:04:27] Do things before it’s too late. Not that it’s typical that people die at 42, but just don’t have any regrets. And don’t ever forget to tell people what they mean to you. 

Chris [01:04:40] I think that’s an amazing note to end on. Thank you so much for this call. And I wish you many, many years of health. I really do. 

Caller [01:04:48] You too. Well, it’s been a pleasure, Chris. 

Chris [01:04:52] Caller, sincerely, thank you. And I hope we get to talk down the line and it’s many years and they tell you great news and and that this this event they were able to figure out what happened and why and correct things and that you have many, many years ahead of you. And if you don’t, thank you for teaching me how you handled that, because I find myself very moved by it. And it’s making me think about how I live day to day right now. And I bet I’m not the only one thinking that. And I thank you for that. This show is produced by Anita Flores. It’s engineered by Ryan Connor. Our theme song is by Shellshag. Go to ChrisGeth.com if you want to know more about me. And that includes my tour dates. And hey, wherever you’re listening, there’s a button that says subscribe, favorite, follow. When you hit that button, it helps us so much. Find our latest merch at podswag.com. We got mugs and shirts and posters and a whole lot more. If you want ad free episodes of Beautiful/ Anonymous and a ton of other shows, check out Stitcher Premium. Use the promo code “stories”, you’ll get a month free. Stitcher dot com slash premium.