EP. 60 — Natalie Morales

Jameela: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to another episode of I Weigh with Jameela Jamil. I hope you’re well. I’m just plodding along still just being a personal assistant to my dog, who bosses me around all of the time. And I am his bitch. That’s cool. That’s my life now, basically. I used to have a I used to have a real life where I didn’t pick up shit in a bag four times a day, still four times a day. I was told that didn’t happen after therapy, but it does four sometimes five times a day. So if you’re ever I mean, I don’t know why you’d ever do this. If you were wondering what Jameela Jamil is doing right now. I’m picking up shit in a bag. That’s what I’m doing almost at all times of the day. Wherever I am in the world, wherever you are in the world, I’m picking up shit in a bag. Anyway, enough about me, I. I’m excited to bring you today’s guest. She is someone who I’ve admired from a distance in this industry, and we kind of just passed each other by at events and someone that I’ll always stopp to tell her how inspiring and excellent I think she is. And she’s very, very kind and warm to me and has just always given me really great vibes and been a positive, outspoken role model who doesn’t hold back in interviews, doesn’t hold back online, is immune to discouragement and and someone who I think is just such a strong role model in our industry and a bright, shining light who just continues to break new ground all of the time and yet stay so humble and so cool and so calm and collected and kind. And so I wanted to chat to her on this podcast. In this we talk about a huge incident that happened to her where she fell down 22 stairs at the Met Opera when she was twenty five and broke her entire face, as in her face became completely unrecognizable. And she had to learn how to live with a completely new face whilst in the middle of her Hollywood career and the impact that had on her career and all of the setbacks she faced and all of the ways in which she had to kind of rebuild her confidence and establish her sense of worth outside of her appearance, which is also, by the way, a fabulous appearance. She looks wonderful, always has, always will. But we also talk about her directing her new movie, Plan B, which is about two young, diverse leads on a search for accessible Plan B pills, as in the contraceptive pill. We talk about contraception. We talk about women’s rights. We talk about diversity and how it was something that she never saw on the television when she was younger. We also talk about her recent discovery of her ADHD and her treatment for that. And she’s just she’s just so frank and and open and malleable and she’s excited to learn. And I think that’s one of the things I find so appealing about her and a lot of my guests on this podcast and really all of you, is that we’re all just in this shit hole together trying to figure it out as one. And the people who I find the most valuable are the ones who do not carry an arrogance or wish to know what everyone else thinks that they know. It’s the people who are excited to to know more or excited to correct what they didn’t understand before. Those are the people who become the Gloria Steinem’s and the Jane Fonda’s of this world. That’s what I want to be. I want to be someone who’s learning until I’m dead. And I feel like Natalie Morales, one of those people, her film Plan B as out May twenty eighth, which is today. And so you can go and see it today. And I really hope you enjoy this episode. She’s a joy. This is Natalie Morales. [00:03:31][211.1]

Jameela: [00:03:50] I love I love you. Hello, Natalie Morales. Welcome to I Weigh. [00:03:55][5.1]

Natalie: [00:03:56] Hi Jameela I’m so happy to be here. Really happy to be here. [00:04:00][3.6]

Jameela: [00:04:01] It’s so nice to have you. I’ve only had the pleasure of meeting you one time, but I’ve loved you from afar for a very long time. And. [00:04:08][7.1]

Natalie: [00:04:08] Likewise. [00:04:08][0.0]

Jameela: [00:04:09] Not just as an excellent comedic performer, but also as just a wonderful role model out in the world. So I’m thrilled. Thrilled you’re here. [00:04:17][8.3]

Natalie: [00:04:18] Thank you. I’m thrilled to be here. [00:04:20][1.2]

Jameela: [00:04:21] OK, so for anyone who is not familiar with your work, would you mind telling me about your journey into the acting industry? [00:04:28][7.8]

Natalie: [00:04:29] Oh, um all right. I’ll give you a brief, brief thing I. I started I moved to L.A. when I was 20 and then [00:04:42][12.2]

Jameela: [00:04:43] From Miami, where abouts in Miami are you from? [00:04:44][0.9]

Natalie: [00:04:45] I’m from the southwest of Miami or as Miamians call it, suroeste, which is. Yeah, that’s that’s where I’m from. Not Miami Beach. Not not the part that people imagine when they see Miami. Or where they think of Miami. [00:05:00][15.3]

Jameela: [00:05:01] What’s that Miami like what’s your Miami like? [00:05:03][1.9]

Natalie: [00:05:05] It’s it’s a lot, it’s very Cuban. It’s very it’s a lot of it’s a real mix of cultures now. But when I was growing up, it was it was mostly like ninety nine percent Cuban. I think now it’s like maybe sixty five or seventy five percent Cuban. And everything else is other Latin cultures for the most part. And you know, Miami was built by refugee Cubans. So it was it was interesting to grow up there because I didn’t grow up as a minority at all. So I think that contributes to the confidence I have. You know, it’s like equal to like a mediocre white man so that I just I didn’t grow up feeling different at all. So. So, yeah. [00:05:55][50.2]

Jameela: [00:05:57] That’s amazing, I also didn’t know that about the history of Miami. [00:05:58][1.5]

Natalie: [00:05:59] Oh yeah. Yeah, it was it was it was definitely built by I mean the Miami that, you know is definitely built by immigrants and refugees for sure. [00:06:09][9.7]

Jameela: [00:06:10] Fascinating. And does it look similar to what we would see in a Will Smith video from the nineties. [00:06:15][5.6]

Natalie: [00:06:17] The beach does the beach does the you know, the southwest part of Miami and everything west of the beach is is suburban and and I mean suburban and urban in a weird mix. It’s it’s it’s it’s a it’s not super walkable, but people walk a lot and and it’s yeah. It’s a it’s an interesting place to grow up. I imagine that it’s not very different than growing up in like Vegas or something because it’s you know, you don’t grow up partying every single second, but everybody that comes to your city does. So, yeah, it you know, it can it can be a really sort of fake on the surface place to be if you don’t find the right people in the right place. Because, you know, in places like that, people tend to start to only care about like money and partying and how they can get richer. And and, you know, it’s it can be a very fake place. And I say that living in Los Angeles, I think it can be it’s I find it to be in a lot of instances, much faker than than L.A., which is which is weird, but true. [00:07:27][70.1]

Jameela: [00:07:28] Hundred percent. And also, I guess it’s it still remains. That depends on who you spend your time with, you know. I mean. Yeah, and I you and I met in a line for the red carpet [00:07:37][9.2]

Natalie: [00:07:38] Right right yeah exactly [00:07:38][0.0]

Jameela: [00:07:41] Which is the ultimate demeaning situation where you’re queuing up for one hour in the freezing cold in high heels, waiting to have your photograph taken, feeling like. [00:07:47][6.3]

Natalie: [00:07:48] It’s so gross. [00:07:49][0.5]

Jameela: [00:07:49] Oh, you’re on a conveyor belt. [00:07:50][1.1]

Natalie: [00:07:51] Yeah, it’s so gross. Yeah, no, of course. And Miami has a lot of really amazing redeeming qualities. You know, it’s it is a real melting pot. There’s so many cultures. I mean, like, honestly, Spanish is the language spoken in Miami. It’s not it’s not really like you can go order something at McDonald’s and a little Cuban grandma will be like, [spanish]. Like, they won’t they won’t listen to you. It’s that is kind of amazing about Miami. And yes, it depends on the people and the places that you hang out. And but certainly when I when I lived there, it a lot of it was was that it was a culture of like, you know, I don’t know on the surface kind of stuff, which wasn’t really for me. But I have seen that, like my friends that did stay there and and, you know, are fighting to make the city better and a more open and culturally diverse place have really succeeded in that. So I’m I’m really proud of the Miami that exists right now, even though I had nothing to do with it. [00:08:50][58.6]

Jameela: [00:08:51] I I was wondering what your kind of cultures hopes are for their kids, because I come from a South Asian background where they’re definitely not hoping you’re going to become an actress. That’s not what they’re not. It’s not what they’re dying for you to grow up and be. [00:09:06][15.3]

Natalie: [00:09:07] Yeah yeah, you know, I don’t I mean, I think any any immigrant culture sees the like doctor, lawyer, you know, high powered business person as as the ultimate goal, especially like I my I grew up very poor and my family was, you know, lived in poverty in Cuba and escaped that. And anybody that came from Cuba, no matter if you were rich or poor or whatever, came with nothing on their backs, because they weren’t allowed to leave with anything, so everybody started fresh, so my family had nothing, and then my grandfather was a political prisoner and and came to the states just kind of. With like a shirt on their back and built, you built it so [00:09:52][44.8]

Jameela: [00:09:53] Wait a political prisoner in Cuba? [00:09:54][1.3]

Natalie: [00:09:55] Yeah, everybody’s grandfather was my grandfather was it wasn’t unique in that everybody’s grandfather was. But but but yeah, they I think they just it wasn’t necessarily about what job I chose as long as I was able to feed myself and have a home. And they just wanted me to to not squander, you know, that. And certainly I mean, I didn’t think that this was a possible career for me, really. I don’t know what just bravado and and something made me go for it. But [00:10:28][33.1]

Jameela: [00:10:30] You’re white man mediocrity. [00:10:30][0.1]

Natalie: [00:10:31] Exactly. I, I, I really didn’t see myself as different. I grew up watching television. I think a lot of children of immigrants do, because you have to find a way to find your way in the world. Yeah. Yeah. And your parents don’t do that, you know, and they don’t relate and they can’t you can’t learn that from them. So you have to learn it by watching television. And on top of the fact that my mom was a single mom who worked all the time. So television was it was my only outlet to the world. So I, you know, grew up thinking I mean, I don’t know if you’re familiar with with Full House. Are you familiar with that show? [00:11:03][32.3]

Jameela: [00:11:03] Yes, very familiar with Full House. [00:11:04][1.0]

Natalie: [00:11:05] So like I grew up thinking, like I was Michelle Tanner, like I was like, I’m not different than that. That’s me. And I think, you know, to my parents and my families, I understand why they thought this. They didn’t see anybody like us on TV and film. I didn’t notice that, but they did. And so, like, it didn’t seem like a possibility. So everybody was like, just have a backup plan. Just have a backup plan so in college, I double majored in theater and education because I thought, well, I can I can teach theater if I don’t succeed at it, you know? And but it wasn’t it wasn’t so much pressure to be like a lawyer or a doctor as much as it was. That’s unrealistic. Right. And I think anybody who’s trying to be an actor or in this particular business will get the same thing no matter what culture you’re from. I believe, unless you’re really rich and it doesn’t matter if you succeed or not, you know. [00:11:57][51.6]

Jameela: [00:11:57] In which case, well done in your life. [00:11:59][1.4]

Natalie: [00:11:59] Exactly. Exactly. [00:12:01][1.4]

Jameela: [00:12:02] OK, so then at twenty you make the move to Los Angeles. And what is your experience like? [00:12:07][5.4]

Natalie: [00:12:08] I, I, I moved here with my best friend. We were in college together and at said college where I was double majoring in theater and education. I, I realized in a class one day I was like why am I learning acting from people who are teaching it in Florida. Because they don’t know what they’re doing, they’re not at the top of their field, and I started to look around and go, this is bullshit, this is all bullshit, I should just go out and do it. And part of the reason I had that experience is because I booked a commercial when I was in Miami. And they were didn’t let me they didn’t want me to do it. They thought of themselves as some conservatory like Juilliard or something, and they were like, you’re not prepared. You’re not you’ve not graduated our program. And I was like, I’m not prepared to do a CBS commercial that they cast me in? They thought I was prepared and they were just preventing me from earning a living and getting credits because of whatever thing they thought. And I and that made me sour. And I and I was like, that just doesn’t seem it doesn’t seem fair. So I think that really changed my mind. And so then my my best friend and I moved out here together, slept in a van and then slept in bunk beds. And then and then I got a couple of commercials out here. I actually got I got my first audition was a commercial and a book that and it made me go easy. Piece of pie. This is going to be great and then it wasn’t that easy. But but but I auditioned a lot and I met a lot of good people and I met a lot of not so great people and and the good people helped me along. And then I did. My very first big thing was I was a guest star on CSI Miami, which was the biggest show in the world at that point. And then I booked a show called The Middleman, which I loved, which was this like it’s like the best way to describe it is like 30 Rock meets Men In Black, which is bizarre, but it’s true. And and that was really fun. And that only lasted a season because it was very weird. It’s since developed a cult following, which I love very much because it was very before it’s time that show. And and then I and then I did and then I did the show called White Collar for a season. That was an odd experience, although I love that cast and the crew. But that was that was weird. And then I and then I, I was in New York doing that and I and I, I fell down a bunch of stairs at the Met Opera, and I and I fell down 20 steps and I landed face first on the balcony wall and I broke my face and had to stop the opera and had to be wheeled out of there and had to have like emergency reconstruction surgery on my face because I like my nose was dust and so was like all of this. And and then I looked very different and and I and I think I don’t know if it was the way that I looked or just my confidence or just because I I looked in the mirror for a year and didn’t recognize myself at all. I basically had to start back at, like, just guest star stuff when I was already like a series regular on two shows. And so then like really backtracked me, although. [00:15:38][210.6]

Jameela: [00:15:39] Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, sorry. it’s a lot, it’s a lot let’s unpack. Ok so you so you, you had a terrible accident. It changed your face dramatically for a year. Or is this face that you have now different to the face you were born with? [00:15:52][13.4]

Natalie: [00:15:53] It is it’s very it’s different than the face I was born with. I don’t think it changed it dramatically. [00:15:56][3.1]

Jameela: [00:15:58] I mean, it’s it’s a lovely face. [00:15:59][1.1]

Natalie: [00:16:00] Thank you. [00:16:00][0.0]

Jameela: [00:16:00] Maybe maybe well done to the world. I don’t know. I don’t care. But my point being that why did that then change your status in your career? [00:16:10][9.7]

Natalie: [00:16:11] I don’t know. I’m not sure. That’s what I meant is I don’t know if it was because I looked different or because my confidence was just much lower, because I didn’t feel like myself. I was. I was until I got used to it and until the swelling which that went down, which was like a year and the pain, I, I just I was really depressed because I, I didn’t have any choice over what my face looked like. And it wasn’t me and I was really weird for me. And so I don’t know why, but I do know that I stopped getting as much work and I was I was not getting like series regular jobs. I was just getting guest star roles, which was actually great, because then that’s how I got Parks and Rec and how I got all these other things. And I wasn’t on on a series regular on a show which which happens, you know, it’s just it’s like it’s a thing we’re like in Hollywood. We’re in the business. I hate calling it Hollywood. In this entertainment business, once you’re like a series regular on a show, that’s like a step up from guest star, essentially. And then you kind of stay on that trajectory for the most part. You know, you you get a series regular on another show. And so I had done two of those and then went all the way back to, like, not being able to get those jobs and just getting a small guest star roles on on shows. So that’s what I mean by, like, it just knocked something down. And I don’t know if it was my confidence or just the way I looked or what it was, you know. So it was interesting. It was an interesting time in my life. [00:17:41][90.7]

Jameela: [00:17:42] Yeah. I can imagine. And I also like it. It forces you to kind of dig deep into self-love and in an industry that is so obsessed with the way that you look, especially a woman’s face and our society and the fact that you’re already coming from a hugely underrepresented minority in this business, I can imagine that would have really shaken the fucking shit out of you. How old were you when this happened? [00:18:08][25.9]

Natalie: [00:18:09] I was. It were I was twenty five. Yeah, twenty five. [00:18:16][7.4]

Jameela: [00:18:17] That’s just a ridiculous time. That’s when everything’s starting to surface emotionally anyway before you get in your 30’s that’s just. Yeah, it’s too much. I’m so glad you got to meet and work with Mike Schur. [00:18:28][10.7]

Natalie: [00:18:29] Me too. I mean, you know, I when that happened, when that accident happened, I had like, I don’t know, shock blindness because I couldn’t I hit my face so hard that I couldn’t see for like fifteen minutes, like, I would only see black. And so when I when I when my face bounced off the wall and I tried to talk and it was just blood. And I was like, oh, like in my brain, I was like, my face is gone. I don’t have a face anymore. And that was my first thought. And then my second thought was, I guess I’ll be a writer. That was literally my the second thing I thought at that moment. [00:19:03][34.5]

Jameela: [00:19:06] Oh my god. Oh, God. Oh, love. [00:19:06][0.6]

Natalie: [00:19:07] Yeah. [00:19:07][0.0]

Jameela: [00:19:08] Um, I’m really I’m really, really happy that you were able to come through that to go on to do all of the amazing things you have gone on to do since. [00:19:16][7.9]

Natalie: [00:19:17] Me too thanks. [00:19:17][0.3]

Jameela: [00:19:18] And I’m I’m glad that that twenty five year old who is lying there with a broken face was proven wrong that she that she didn’t have to be confined to any one job that she didn’t want to do. [00:19:29][10.8]

Natalie: [00:19:29] Yeah, me too. [00:19:30][1.0]

Jameela: [00:19:38] Can we talk about Mike Schur for a minute, can we talk about how incredible he is for people who don’t know Mike Schur is the creator of The Good Place. I wouldn’t have a career if he didn’t live and wasn’t born because he plucked me from complete obscurity. And he’s a total comedy genius. But also, I would say in the like top one percent of humans, especially men in power in the entertainment industry as regards how he treats women, how he treats minorities and how he works to never put anyone in a box. What was it like for you working with Mike? [00:20:16][38.5]

Natalie: [00:20:17] Yeah, I mean, he treats everybody that way. It’s really great. I, I started working with him on Parks and Rec, although I didn’t I didn’t work with him constantly every day because I was a I was a recurring guest star on the show, but I did meet him quite a bit and get to know him on that. And I was a I mean Parks and Rec was my favorite show before I was on it. So I was like thrilled to be on that show. I mean, I auditioned to play Aziz’s girlfriend, by doing an impression of Aziz. And because I was like I was like, oh, [00:20:51][34.5]

Jameela: [00:20:52] Oh wait, I’m sorry no do your impression right now. Please, please. I’m like, I think you just give me one line. [00:20:58][6.0]

Natalie: [00:20:59] No. That’s it. I so I did that because I was like, oh any, any character like any character that’s going to play the girlfriend of this character. The only way that that works is if they are very similar. And so I that’s how I did it. And I got the job and then they were like, great, just don’t do that, don’t do that impression at all. I was like, OK, fine. [00:21:23][24.2]

Jameela: [00:21:25] I pretended I pretended to be a socialite who’s who had been haunted and invaded by the ghost of Princess Diana. That was the weird thing that I did. Yeah. In a ten minute improv with Mike Schur. And similarly, after they gave me the job, they were like, don’t do that, but you’re hired. But he likes a fucking weirdo because he’s a fucking weirdo in the best possible way. And he champions the underdog. He champions the weirdo. He champions left of center like Parks and Rec and The Good Place and everything he’s ever made have always been television that don’t belittle the intelligence of the audience it’s always left of center of what network comedy is quote unquote supposed to be. And also, do you find that even though you didn’t interact with him that much necessarily because you were you know, he isn’t in all of the time or you’re not there on the same days. It’s the atmosphere he creates on set. [00:22:22][56.8]

Natalie: [00:22:23] Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, absolutely. And then and then we did Abby’s Together, in which we really did work together a lot after that. And so, yes, I got to experience the atmosphere he creates on set. You know, in both of those shows and and, you know, it’s not like he’s he is a comedic genius and everybody has told him that and everybody thinks that. And I’m sure he knows that. But he doesn’t act that way. And he is he’s he’s very like, I don’t know, I guess this is the right thing to do. And he’s doing it from such a pure place in his heart that is collaborative with everyone he works with, but also always driven by by like humanity. That’s all his stories are about. No matter what they are, no matter what the characters are, they’re all they all have this. I want to say it’s like a kindness behind it all the time, it’s like the leading force of everything he does, which is why it’s so. Like, it’s so it feels so good to watch what he does, and it also feels that way when you’re working on it. And I think it just, you know, it elevates everything into this, into the way that I wish all of life and all of work was, you know. [00:23:44][81.7]

Jameela: [00:23:45] Mm hmm. I agree. Did he give you the little speech he gives actors at the beginning? [00:23:49][3.9]

Natalie: [00:23:49] I don’t know what speech that is. [00:23:50][0.6]

Jameela: [00:23:50] A mini mini speech where he’s just like I have two rules. First rule is best idea wins. He was like, I don’t care if it was the head writer or the janitor who came up with or the caterer who comes up with the best joke. Whoever says it, that’s what happens. That’s what goes in the show. There’s no hierarchy here. No two, no assholes. By that he doesn’t mean you literally can’t have an asshole. He just means that he doesn’t hire or work with anyone who behaves badly. And I wish more people would enforce that on set because it really does change the mentality of everyone there. Everyone there knows that there’s no there’s no like three strike policy. It’s one strike and you’re out. That’s it. If you are rude to someone. If you were disrespectful, if you break any of the rules of human kindness, Mike Schur will kick you the fuck out. And I did [00:24:39][49.0]

Natalie: [00:24:40] I didn’t we didn’t get that speech, but that was like just known. I think we were all we were all working under the same the same values for sure, because that’s also how I work, although I didn’t have the power to fire anybody. But I yeah, I that’s that’s exactly right. I think that that’s how it should be. [00:24:58][17.9]

Jameela: [00:24:58] I’m really frustrated for you about how Abby’s went because Abby’s was a good show. It was a it was also one of the first times that we had seen I think it was the first time we had a bisexual protagonist on network television ever. [00:25:13][14.9]

Natalie: [00:25:13] Yeah. Yeah. [00:25:14][0.5]

Jameela: [00:25:14] And after one season it was cut. And I would love for you to talk to me about your feelings on that. I know they were strong. Rightfully so. [00:25:21][7.0]

Natalie: [00:25:22] Yeah, they were. I mean, listen, I’m working on that show was amazing. And actually everybody that on NBC’s end was amazing, too. It was just that I think something the the presidency of NBC changed right in the middle of our show. And I think the people that the took over, it wasn’t their idea and they didn’t support it and [00:25:46][23.6]

Jameela: [00:25:46] They didn’t promote it. [00:25:46][0.4]

Natalie: [00:25:48] At all. [00:25:48][0.2]

Jameela: [00:25:48] Yeah, I didn’t see promo for it. I remember Mike telling me about it for ages being so excited an [00:25:52][3.4]

Natalie: [00:25:52] No, no. [00:25:53][1.1]

Jameela: [00:25:53] I, I’ve wondered if it was even happening and then kind of like halfway through I found it was just because I’m a fan of you. [00:26:00][7.1]

Natalie: [00:26:01] Well thanks. I mean, yeah it was, it was a struggle to get them to promote us in any way, even on their own network, on like Fallon or something. It was it was it was really hard and it felt like they were just like, well, and Mike would never say this because Mike is great and Mike sees the bright side in everybody. But it felt to me it felt like they were like, well, we have this great relationship with Mike Schur. We’ll just put it on the air. If it happens to be a hit. Great. If not great, we’re done. [00:26:30][29.4]

Jameela: [00:26:31] Yeah, and it’s a shame because, you know, there’s a lot of I remember there being quite a lot of when when the show was first announced as being made, there was a lot of kudos for the fact that there was going to be a bisexual lead. Yeah, they got a lot of good press for that, for, you know, ticking that box of being the like the most progressive of all of the networks. And then when it actually came to it didn’t didn’t give it the love and support that any show needs. [00:26:58][26.8]

Natalie: [00:26:58] I find I find that that has happened quite a bit with different networks, not just with NBC when it comes to up front, which is is when networks sell ads, space, ad space to companies. Right. So they the up front is when they show you all their new shows and they tell you, oh, this is a new show, Abby’s with a bisexual to get in. This is all the stuff we’re going to do, buy ad space here. Right. But then they don’t give these shows a chance. And that has happened so many times, but particularly with Latin X led shows that happen with the Beauty and the Baker. There’s zero TV shows right now with Latin X leads on network TV, not one. [00:27:34][35.5]

Jameela: [00:27:34] Zero? [00:27:34][0.0]

Natalie: [00:27:35] Yeah, none. They always get canceled within one season. They always get shelved, they don’t get promoted. We’re like such a huge part of the population and such a huge part of the viewership. And we’re so underrepresented in this in this way. And I find it a little bit hypocritical to to tout that at the upfront and then not support those shows. I hope that it changes. You know, I really enjoyed I mean, it was my as I told you, I was a TV kid, you know, it was like my dream. I watched Thursday nights on NBC, Must See TV every week religiously. It was my church being on an NBC comedy show on Thursday nights was mind blowing to me. And it was disappointing to not feel the support that I knew other shows and other things had gotten. That that was sad, but, you know, everything [00:28:31][55.9]

Jameela: [00:28:32] Massively [00:28:32][0.0]

Natalie: [00:28:32] happens for a reason. [00:28:33][0.8]

Jameela: [00:28:34] A hundred percent, you you were one of the more vocal actors in this industry. And I know that over the last five years, a lot of people have become increasingly outspoken. But for years you’ve just been going for it, like using your platform as much as you can, just so unapologetically and even the way you just spoke about that, something that a lot of actors wouldn’t do. And I really appreciate you for doing it. Other times you’ve kind of caught my attention, aside from just being someone I admire as a performer. When you were harassed by the paparazzi and that they took a photograph up your skirt where they managed to capture your vagina and rather than deleting it, they sold it without your consent to a newspaper and where it was labeled as a wardrobe malfunction, which instantly puts the blame on you. And you’re speaking out about that I thought was incredibly cool and made a lot of people feel safer to start telling the paparazzi to go fuck themselves. [00:29:39][64.7]

Natalie: [00:29:40] That’s good. I didn’t know that. That makes me happy. They didn’t actually get a photo of my vagina because I was wearing underwear, but they they proceeded to announce it as though it was that because it was flesh colored underwear. And and, yeah, they took a picture of me, you know, it just it’s just it’s a dumb contract, you know, where where I get dressed up and do a whole thing to promote a movie. Right. And the contract is I stand against this wall. You make your money by taking a photo of me and then selling that to promote this movie. Where in there is it right for you to purposely take a shot up my skirt and then sell it as a wardrobe malfunction? And would you do that to anybody you cared about, why would you do that to me and and that violates the whole dumb thing we’re doing but that we’ve done for years, which is I stand there and I and I take a and I and I pose for you so that you can make money selling a picture that is for this whole movie event. Right. And then you you do that to me. For what? Why what. Like why? It’s just it just made me upset and I and I felt like. When I saw that, I was like, this is so why am I getting shit for this? Like I didn’t do anything wrong. I walked I, I moved my legs and I walked. And someone even if the picture had been an accident, which it wasn’t, even if it had been, what on earth makes you go? You know what? I’m going to post this instead of let me just delete this because it’s a bad picture up someone’s skirt that they didn’t intend to pose for and I didn’t intend to take. Right. So that that is just no one’s forcing you to post photos of a wardrobe malfunction. You’re posting them because you want to make money off of them. And that is vile. And I just was really upset about it at the time. And as far as my outspokenness, it’s not something I can really help. So. [00:31:52][132.7]

Jameela: [00:31:53] I love that. I love that. I think it’s really great. I also and I have now become so intense and scary as an outspoken person that I had a quote unquote wardrobe malfunction where bit of my nipples out for the whole of the Emmys red carpet, no one said anything. No one said anything because they knew that I’d be such a demon about it. But my nipple is out in every single photograph of the Emmys 2019. It’s just going hello. I just wanted it’s moment. [00:32:26][32.9]

Natalie: [00:32:27] That’s a great memory. It’s a great memory. It’s also your body. [00:32:30][2.6]

Jameela: [00:32:30] It’s a fucking nipple. It’s not even like properly my nipple it’s a scar above my nipple. That looks like a bit of nipple. I, I’ll never forget Anne Hathaway being photographed while getting out of a car. That’s something they do that a lot of people know that they do. So as soon as your car pulls up, the door is opened by a member of staff at the red carpet. And then photographers are already there waiting at very low angles to get a photograph of the most vulnerable photograph they can possibly get. And they’re going for up your skirt. And you and as anyone knows, when you have to get out of a car, traditionally you put one leg out and then you swing your arms around and you get the rest of your leg out. That’s the traditional getting out of a car method for most of us. [00:33:16][45.8]

Natalie: [00:33:16] If no one was photographing up your skirt. Yes, exactly. [00:33:19][2.5]

Jameela: [00:33:19] Yeah. So we have to try and we have to try and do it’s normalized to try and do it in terror, like holding down your crotch and holding, covering and covering and and like trying to like kind of doing this sort of weird jujitsu crawl out of a car as if that’s our responsibility, as if men can’t just because they are predominantly men. I think I’ve seen five female paparazzi ever in my twelve year career. as if it’s on us to make sure that a photograph of our crotch doesn’t reach the entire Internet rather than on them. The owners of the fucking cameras. [00:33:54][35.0]

Natalie: [00:33:56] To not take it. Yeah. [00:33:56][0.5]

Jameela: [00:33:56] I started having panic attacks in front of the the red carpet line where now I literally will stop. I’ll completely stop and I make them just go one by one by one slowly at my own pace. And you’re going to get the photo you get when I feel fucking ready. But there are numerous photographs of me with my mouth open, both of my fingers up, giving a speech about anxiety at almost every red carpet I’ve ever done. [00:34:20][24.0]

Natalie: [00:34:21] Oh, yeah, there’s pictures of me like that on the red carpet being like I like saying no to someone because, so many times they’ll be like smile smile like, you know, like [00:34:34][12.5]

Jameela: [00:34:36] And they are all going over here over here in 12 different directions and you can’t tell anyway. It doesn’t matter. Thank you for calling out that paparazzi thing because it furthered how a lot of us felt in our right to turn this around and no longer think. As with the Anne Hathaway thing, she was the one shamed for the fact that someone photographed her crotch from an underneath angle and managed to get a picture of it. And then that went all over the Internet. And then she was forced to explain herself as if she’d made a mistake. [00:35:00][24.8]

Natalie: [00:35:02] I’m sorry that I had body parts. Yeah. [00:35:04][2.3]

Jameela: [00:35:04] So I’m really thrilled that you did that. You are outspoken about so many things. And and as I said, that was one of them that I found that I found very helpful. [00:35:12][8.2]

Natalie: [00:35:15] Well I’m glad. I didn’t know I didn’t know that it would help you at all. And I’m glad that it did. [00:35:19][4.5]

Jameela: [00:35:20] Well, it went very, very viral when you did it. OK, so I will I want to move on because I have a million things to talk to you about, including another thing that you are outspoken about, which is women’s sexual health, uh, and also young women’s journeys and diversifying how those the stories are told, you have a film that you have directed and you directed it last year, I believe. And it’s coming out today. Will you talk to me about Plan B? [00:35:45][25.2]

Natalie: [00:35:46] I’m so proud of this movie and so excited about it. It’s it’s about two teenagers, both the daughters of immigrants who live in South Dakota and Indian American Girl and. A Mexican-American girl and their best friends, and they are, you know, not the popular kids in they’re all white school and and they have a party and they one of them loses their virginity as a as a thing in high school. But it’s not really a thing in real life because virginity is a construct. But anyway, we’ll come back to that. The one of them has sex and the next morning pees out the condom and then they freak out and they’re like, oh, we got to go get the plan B pill. So they go to the pharmacy. But in a lot of states in the United States, South Dakota being one of them, there’s a thing called a conscience clause which allows pharmacists to deny anybody contraception or birth control no matter their age or anything, if it goes against their religious beliefs. So they are denied the. [00:37:00][74.9]

Jameela: [00:37:02] I didn’t know that. I know plenty about the hurdles towards the hurdles between us and abortions, but I didn’t know that someone can just decide not to give you contraceptives, contraception. And it’s not it’s never looked at as contraception, which is something you and I spoke about previously. It’s looked more as more of a process of abortion and isn’t it’s contraception. [00:37:24][22.3]

Natalie: [00:37:25] Not at all. Yeah, it’s taken. You know, I think it’s up to 72 hours after unprotected sex and it’s contraception, which means it is you know, it’s the same as birth control. It’s it’s if you were pregnant, it would not work. It does not abort. It’s not an abortive pill. So it’s totally different, which makes no sense to me, because if you’re if you’re against abortion, why would you also be against contraceptives? That blows my mind, because if what you’re wanting is is is to not have abortions, then why would you want people to get pregnant in the first place? Anyway so they they have to get their asses to the one Planned Parenthood that is across the state. And and all of this sounds like it’s it’s not this, but it’s a comedy. It’s a hard R rated comedy in the vein of Superbad. And, you know, maybe American Pie or, you know, all the all of teen movies that we grew up loving. And and it’s you know, it’s just the quest behind it. The quest and all these teen movies is always like, let’s get to the cool party or let’s get my dad’s car back or let me get the girl at the end of the night [00:38:41][76.4]

Jameela: [00:38:41] and get into the Ivy League school. [00:38:42][1.1]

Natalie: [00:38:43] Correct. And this one is has all the same wild elements as any of those, you know, road trip movies or buddy movies or teenage quest movies, except the quest is health care. So but but so it’s a for me it’s a sort of subversive way to get that knowledge across to people like you didn’t know. I didn’t know that either before I made this movie about the Conscience Clause laws that exist and just how difficult it is for, you know, Planned Parenthood provides. I went to Planned Parenthood when I had no money and I was a teenager and in my early twenties and I didn’t have insurance and I got pap smears there and health care there and birth control there. And it was free and it was the only way I could get health care because I didn’t have insurance. And so many people get health care that way and they’re dwindling in states. You know, in South Dakota right now, there is only one in the entire state. So it’s it it’s it’s an important thing. But it’s also, I mean, my absolute, like, pleasure and thrill to to put that in a in a comedy about two best friends, because to me, like, wow, that is a tragedy. That is women’s lives, like our lives. Everybody’s right. But women in particular every day is filled with absurdity and tragedy and comedy and happiness and sadness and jokes. And it’s all the same thing. It’s not to me, it’s not one thing. And I love I love that about this movie. And I loved making it. And I and the two stars of it Kuhoo Verma and Victoria Moroles, are incredible. They their their chemistry is like unbeatable. Like, you know, when you watched if you did if you watched like Fleabag in your and you watched the hot priest and fleabag and you’re like, I’ve never seen chemistry in my life. That is chemistry. That’s what I’m seeing. That’s what I was looking for in this. And I found it. And I’m really excited about it because they’re incredible actors on their own. But together they like knock it out of the park. So I’m just thrilled about it and. And it’s also going to be in, I think, AMC movie theaters in L.A. for a week, which is really exciting, [00:41:07][143.9]

Jameela: [00:41:08] That is exciting. You’re going to you’re going to be able to have a premiere in a pandemic like a little mini one? [00:41:12][3.5]

Natalie: [00:41:13] We are. Yes, we are working on that. Yes. [00:41:16][3.5]

Jameela: [00:41:16] Ok, that’s exciting. That should be celebrated. And also, thank God we’re having more and more women direct films. And and I love the fact that this is also a film that has been centered around the kinds of kids that we don’t always see in a comedy. You know, if you often if you see a film that has a minority or two minorities as the young leads as teenagers who perhaps don’t come from affluent backgrounds, it’s often just tragedy that the film would be based around and some some stunning films have been made around kids from poor or from ethnic backgrounds or both. But I think that it’s amazing to be able to portray them just as just regular teenagers who have the levity of the ridiculousness of adolescence, but who are going through this incredibly real thing. And you’re giving that group of teenagers the representation that you didn’t have when you were a teenager. And I think that’s really cool. [00:42:12][55.7]

Natalie: [00:42:13] Right it’s it’s really exciting. I mean, you know, girls don’t get to be in these movies in the first place. Right. Traditionally, all these teen movies starred men in the lead roles. I think Book Smart Book Smart was a was a big thing because it was like finally women and these lead roles. But as much as I love Book Smart, which I did love it, it was predominantly white, very, very wealthy. And the main issue in that movie, like the main problem, was that that the two lead girls got into really good schools and so did everyone else. That’s the problem. And I was like, that’s not really relatable to kids in America today. And I wanted to make something. Also, a lot of the movies that have been made are like, you know, in L.A. or New York or in these coastal big cities. And there’s so much more of America in the middle that are never spoken to and are never represented. And I and I, I was really excited about doing that. It just was it’s it’s really cool to me to to be able to do that. And you’re right, like, I think I always say this. This is something I’ve repeated because I think it’s sort of my life’s mission is that like we need to, you know, tell stories about marginalized people that are not only about how they are marginalized because we have plenty of those. Those exist and they’re good and they’re necessary. But also it continues to otherwise us, if that’s all that’s ever told. And so we have regular lives that exist. And then and I don’t think about the fact that I’m like a brown queer woman every second of every day. Or maybe not even once a day. I have my life and I live it and I do things. And I think those stories are worth telling as well. And and that’s kind of my life’s mission at the moment, is to continue to do that. [00:44:07][113.9]

Jameela: [00:44:09] 100%. And I think we need to now extend that towards people with disabilities and more queer LGBTQ+ stories where it’s not always just about the maximum struggle that communities do totally face, but also the mundane or the silly. Ot the lovely or the loving and the happy side of their experiences. [00:44:30][21.2]

Natalie: [00:44:31] Absolutely. [00:44:31][0.0]

Jameela: [00:44:32] They’re not just substory kind of weapons to make the audience feel something. These are representing human beings in this world. And so. I can’t wait to watch this film. I’m going to watch it as soon as it comes out. [00:44:45][13.2]

Natalie: [00:44:46] I think you’ll like it. I’m excited for you to see it [00:44:48][2.7]

Jameela: [00:44:49] Was directing something you always planned on getting involved in? [00:44:52][2.4]

Natalie: [00:44:52] Yes, I mean, I, I directed theater and sketch when I was I was first starting out and I think, you know, partly imposter syndrome and partly the people that I was around that were in these positions of writer and director were not incredibly supportive of an actor wanting to do that. It was it was kind of like, well, you didn’t go to film school. So cute that you want to do that. And I and I internalized that. And I really did feel that. So I was directing theater, but I felt like I was writing and I always felt kind of like, oh, no, this is not as good as someone who, you know, who does this professionally. And I had written scripts and I was like looking for people to direct the scripts and I was not super confident. And then finally I was like, you know what? Maybe I’ll just start directing and maybe I’ll just start doing music videos. I’ve always wanted to direct music videos and have so many friends in bands. And so I was like, let me let me start that way. So I just started directing music videos for my friends for free in different bands. And then I and then I pitched some stuff to Funny or Die and did like Funny or Die Little series and shorts for them. And then. And then. And then that shifted into some, like, Web series, and then I did this music video for Andrew Bird that was in conjunction with Every Town for Gun Safety, which is an organization I work with a lot and. And it was like such an incredible experience and the video got some attention and then Mark Duplass saw that and asked me to direct an episode of Room 104, and then that went really well. And he asked me to do another one on that same season. And then we made a movie together last year as well that I directed. And so it just kind of snowballed from there. But it was always something that I knew I could do in my gut. But but I was always sort of holding myself back because I thought. I thought for a lot of my life, I learned this lesson a few years ago. I thought that. If things had always been done a certain way or this is how you do things or this is how this looks, that’s how it had to be. And I was I never fit into those molds, no matter what it is, really. And once I realized that, like, nothing has to be any way and that my experiences and thoughts and ideas and and and opinions were just as valid as someone who had gone to film school, like maybe I just do it differently. And that doesn’t mean I’m not open to learning about techniques and ways to do it and different technical things and creative things. I am I’m so hungry for that. And I have been since I started in this business. I would I would stay, you know, when the actors were told to take breaks, I would stay and ask cameramen questions and I would ask the director questions. And I would I was always curious about all of the aspects of this industry because I love it so much. And and once I realized that I you know, I may not have the the knowledge and and experience that someone who went to film school or has been directing for a long time has. I don’t have that, but I have what I have, which is also valuable and is different. [00:48:12][199.8]

Jameela: [00:48:12] But you’re speaking as if you’ve had the sort of career that I’ve had where I turned up. I’d never done an acting audition or never acted before. And then I got The Good Place and then was plunged into immediate acting heaven with with like Ted Danson and Kristen Bell, and Mike Schur and all these people that that is that is taking a truly untraditional, like jump in the in the deep end where your imposter syndrome is justified because you’re literally an imposter, but you’ve actually had more of a traditional but you’re not giving yourself credit for the fact that you earned your stripes. Like that’s how most of the men that I know who are now directors got into it was that same exact path. I think, again, not to politicize everything, but again, I think as a woman, there’s this extra pressure on you to do it by the book. Almost all the men I know who are successful directors, some of them didn’t even have to take the steps of making the shorts, pitching them to Funny or Die, making those music videos. A lot of them just were actors who said, hey, I’d really like to direct one of these episodes of the show I’m on. And the creator went, Sure, give it a shot. You’re a funny guy. So please don’t undersell the fact that, yes, the that you should totally be proud about the fact that you’ve managed to do this without the traditional schooling method. But you fucking worked your way up. You’ve taken all of the steps and [00:49:30][77.7]

Natalie: [00:49:33] I absolutely did. But I didn’t have that same reception. I didn’t have that same reception at all within within my own agency, not not the one I’m with right now. My old agency, when I was directing those music videos and when I was doing that, I asked to meet with their directing agent and they wouldn’t they wouldn’t have it. So even the people that were representing me weren’t supporting me when I was like, I’m trying to give you money. Like, why wouldn’t you do that? I and so so it was there was a real gate keeping happening. I don’t know if it was because I was a woman or was an actor or whatever it was or didn’t have I didn’t have the schooling or the experience or whatever it was. But I will say, if it wasn’t for Mark Duplass, I wouldn’t be where I am right now because it was so hard for me to break through in any way. And people now are like, oh, you’re a woman and you’re Latin. Of course you’re directing because they’re giving all this, you know, and it’s like that’s not the case. But people people see it that way. And it’s and it’s annoying. [00:50:32][58.7]

Jameela: [00:50:32] Well that’s why I wanted to make the point that, like you’ve done actually much more, you’ve you’ve made more of the micro steps that a lot of people, a lot of men, in particular white men, don’t have to even make so. [00:50:42][9.5]

Natalie: [00:50:42] Very true. [00:50:42][0.3]

Jameela: [00:50:43] It’s not a matter of affirmative action. I believe it’s been given this opportunity like, you know, what you’re fucking doing. And and you’ve built up that knowledge over years. [00:50:52][9.8]

Natalie: [00:50:53] Yeah. I never thought it was affirmative action at all because that wasn’t my experience. The imposter syndrome that I was I was facing was was even daring to do it, not having been given the job and not knowing what I’m doing. That’s very different. But but, yeah, it is something that I love doing. I realized a while ago that directing is just like having an opinion and I have always had that. I just had to be quiet about it. So it’s it’s been really rewarding. [00:51:24][30.2]

Jameela: [00:51:25] What do you love the most about it, can I ask? [00:51:26][1.3]

Natalie: [00:51:28] I love the collaborative nature of it. That is what I what I truly love about this, this business. I, I, I always say that I like if you I try to explain this to my mom when she has like why haven’t you stopped working. So you’re worth the sixteen hours and you’ve been working on this for months and what’s the deal. And I’m like so ok, if you think about a symphony or an orchestra or whatever I recorded and you think about all the different parts of that symphony and every instrument. And whoever composed it and wrote it and the conductor and then the people recording it, the engineer, all of that, that’s just one part of one piece of a score for a movie. And there’s so many other people and brains and things working on this in all different fields to make this one thing. And if the director is I mean, sometimes that happens even without this, because those people are so good. But if the director is able to clearly communicate a vision and get everybody on board and get everybody excited about the same thing. And also what I love doing is hiring people who are much better than me at what they do. And going like this is what I think. But what do you think and how can we make this even better than what I thought it could be? And empowering these people who are really good at their jobs to do to be excited, as excited about this movie or this TV show as I am. And that feeling when everybody’s working at that level and everyone’s like psyched about the fact that they’re at the top of their game in their job and they’re getting to do what they love, it creates magic. And you feel it when you’re on set and you feel it when you’re watching the movie. And that is my favorite part. And as an actor, I get to do that when I have a great director and when I have someone like that. But if I don’t, then I don’t right. And so it can be somewhat limiting as an actor, but as a director, I get to create that environment for the most part, unless the producers of the studio sucks, or the script sucks, which I try not to work with, but as a director I get to I get to create that and that is unbeatable. That’s like the best, best thing. [00:53:35][127.1]

Jameela: [00:53:42] This is something we were talking about together when we were on the phone, and it’s a relatively recent realization that you’ve had and it’s around ADHD now, I don’t know if that necessarily falls into the mental health category, but for a lot of your life, because of it, you didn’t know that you had it and therefore thought that you just had anxiety. [00:53:59][17.0]

Natalie: [00:54:00] So, yeah, last year, right in the middle of it, right at the beginning of covid, all that I could do to earn money was write. And I, I had this assignment to write with my my best friend and my comedy partner, Serena Fiala. We we had we’re writing a movie for Universal and it’s a dream like it’s the maybe the biggest opportunity I’ve ever had. Right. And I was just so excited about that. And we would sit down to write and I could not concentrate, I could not focus, I couldn’t do anything and I would be constantly interrupting her, and this is something that I’ve dealt with my whole life and felt, yeah, annoying and sort of fought through and drank coffee and just kind of like focused on it, but there was something about this particular time where I always thought maybe maybe I have ADD, but I don’t know. I don’t it’s not like like I’ve seen with the young boys that I went to school with that had it or it’s not like that. So maybe maybe I’m just being lazy. I’ve been told my whole life that I, you know, by different people, you’re just being lazy. And so I thought, oh, that’s what it is. And then I finally was like, you know what? This is affecting my livelihood. It’s affecting my work. I’m going to talk to my doctor about it. And I did. And she gave me a test for anxiety, for depression and for ADHD and ADHD. I passed with flying colors in a way that the questions on this test, I was like, what this is like. I was like, this is what this is. Because all of my life I thought I was just annoying. And it turns out that it was it was just neuro divergence. And, you know, it’s it’s called a disorder. But I think so many people have it. And and it’s very underdiagnosed in young girls and in women specifically. And this is what I’ve learned since then because it shows up so differently and presents itself so differently than it does in men and boys, particularly in boys. But it’s called a disorder. But I feel like it’s it’s just a disorder in terms of working the way that, you know, a nine to five schedule and our current society works. It’s not a disorder in that like I can be really productive and really inspired and really focused when I’m doing it my way, which is why and it worked for me in different ways my whole life, because I’ve figured out ways to mask, ways to cope, ways to to figure it out for myself. But it was when I was faced with this like duty where I had to, like, stare at a computer and write and these designated hours where I really felt like, oh, no, something is really wrong. And having that diagnosis just opened up the world for me in this way that I started doing all this research, like, for example, I was one of the things that I hated about myself, hated, truly hated, was that when my friends or anybody was talking to me, particularly if it was something very important or very sad, I could not help myself. I would interrupt them in some way. And I would say something like, it didn’t matter if it was sharing my own experience in that situation, which in the back of my head I’d be like, Why are you doing this is not about you. Let them talk. Right? Or if it was just something that I had to say. But what what I learned is that people with ADHD are the reason I’m trying to do that is because I am listening to you so intently that if I don’t say what’s in my head, I’m going to keep thinking about that. I’m going to stop listening to you. So I have to say the thing so that in order to get it out of my brain so I can keep listening to you and that I never knew that that’s what it was. And now it makes so much sense. [00:57:48][227.6]

Jameela: [00:57:48] You thought you were just rude. Did other people think you were rude? [00:57:49][1.4]

Natalie: [00:57:50] Yes. And I could fucking tell I’m sure. And I would I would apologize all the time. I mean, there’s so many things in my life now that are illuminated by this that I’ve done forever. It’s also genetic. And there’s things I see in my mom and and in my family that I’m like, oh, my God, this is what this is like. I would you know, I would walk into a room with the intent of doing something and do everything but that thing. And that’s called executive dysfunction. Or like there’s all these other things I haven’t [00:58:20][30.4]

Jameela: [00:58:20] Man I really need to go see a psychiatrist. This is this is the third person who’s come on the podcast talking about this or I’m just like, this is exactly how I feel. Also, you had a really interesting you were talking to me about the fact that the reason that maybe you’d gone so long without a diagnosis is because we are it’s it’s predominantly young boys that was studied for symptoms of ADHD. Is that correct? [00:58:45][24.5]

Natalie: [00:58:46] Yes. Along with most things, you know, like it’s always studied in men because they find that women’s hormones are too unpredictable or whatever they are. But then it’s only studied in men. But yeah, it was mostly studied in young boys. So it’s the I mean, when I was a child, my mom is always say the story. I look back. I used to talk so much in kindergarten that my teacher put my desk next to her desk so that I wouldn’t interrupt everybody because I would finish my work and then going around, go around talking to people. How do you not know? How do you not know that that’s a kid with ADHD. You just think it’s always like the smart like basically overachieving girls do really well in school without barely studying at that’s eighty. If you were an avid reader as a child and now you can’t read a fucking paragraph in a book, same thing. [00:59:36][49.7]

Jameela: [00:59:37] God that’s me. [00:59:37][0.6]

Natalie: [00:59:38] Yes, I know. [00:59:39][0.7]

Jameela: [00:59:41] Fuck. It was so crazy, I was a straight-A, like a star student until I was like 16 left school, and then I haven’t been able to read a fucking thing since I used to be able to memorize textbooks, you know, like chunks and chunks and chunks of textbooks. And I used to really enjoy it. And I feel like every year that I get older, it gets worse and I find it harder. And I’ve been supposed to write a book for like a year and a half. I’m like a year and a half later my deadline. And I just I just can’t. [01:00:07][25.5]

Natalie: [01:00:08] Please, please, please talk to your doctor. It it it gave one of the side effects is not euphoria, but I, I felt such gratitude and such happiness because I was like oh my God, I finally I just feel like I can think because what’s happening when it actually is is that your brain is able to take in so much information at once that you can’t focus on one thing because you’re sitting down to do something and you hear the bird across the street and your neighbor talking and you think about the other 40 things that you have to do and you yes. And so the feeling the best way I can describe it is that when you’re properly medicated and I don’t feel anything other than this is, I feel the same kind of calm as like walking into the woods and just sitting there and that feeling that just washes over you. That is the same thing I feel now every day. And I’m able to I don’t go to sleep feeling like I procrastinate all day. And I didn’t do anything, which is what I did for every day of my life up until last year. And I it’s completely changed my life in the most positive way. [01:01:20][72.6]

Jameela: [01:01:21] Amazing. I think that’s great. That’s so inspiring and so amazing to find out that that was so your anxiety has predominantly gone away. damn damn damn it Natalie you might fucking change my whole life. You’re going to get a bouquet of flowers from my manager from the publishing agent. [01:01:39][17.6]

Natalie: [01:01:40] I hope I do it really. I my anxiety went way down and I realized, oh, I was just happy inside because I couldn’t fucking think straight. [01:01:47][7.0]

Jameela: [01:01:48] God, finding out that so many girls don’t get diagnosed with this is just so frustrating. It’s just another case of a misogynistic medical history and nightmare situation. Natalie thanks for being so honest and open and fun to talk to. You’re a dream. [01:02:03][15.5]

Natalie: [01:02:04] Likewise. [01:02:04][0.0]

Jameela: [01:02:05] So before I let you go, Natalie, will you just tell me, what do you weigh? [01:02:08][3.0]

Natalie: [01:02:10] All right, let’s see. I weigh my love of animals and people. I weigh my beautiful, complicated cultural relationships. I weigh how hard I’ve fought for the life that I have. And and, yeah, that’s I think that’s that’s pretty good for now. [01:02:38][28.5]

Jameela: [01:02:39] That’s amazing. I love that. And I’m happy you’re here. I hope we get to work together someday. [01:02:44][4.9]

Natalie: [01:02:45] I hope so too. [01:02:45][0.3]

Jameela: [01:02:45] Maybe you’ll direct me. [01:02:46][1.1]

Natalie: [01:02:46] I love that. [01:02:47][0.6]

Jameela: [01:02:48] And I think you’re a real gem in this business. Loads of love and have a lovely evening and congratulations on your film. [01:02:53][5.6]

Natalie: [01:02:54] Thanks! [01:02:54][0.0]

Jameela: [01:02:55] Plan B is out now. [01:02:55][0.1]

Natalie: [01:02:55] Thank you. [01:02:56][0.4]

Jameela: [01:02:58] Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. I Weigh with Jameela Jamil’s produced and researched by myself to Jameela Jamil, Aaron Finegan and Kimmie Gregory. It is edited by Andrew Carson. And the beautiful music that you’re hearing now is made by my boyfriend, James Blake. If you haven’t already, please rate, review and subscribe to the show. It’s a great way to show your support. I really appreciate it and amps me up to bring on better and better guests. Lastly, at I Weigh we would love to hear from you and share what you weigh at the end of this podcast. You can leave us a voicemail at one eight one eight six six zero five five four three. Or email us what you wait at Iweighpodcast@gmail.com. It’s not in pounds kilos, so please don’t send that. It’s all about you just you know, you’ve been on the Instagram anyway, and now we would love to pass the mic to one of our listeners. [01:03:45][47.5]

Listener: [01:03:50] Hi, my name is Nina. I am a 17 year old girl from Queensland, Australia, and I am Japanese Australian. I weigh myself with my resilience. My fantastic bullshit radar. My compassion for strangers and my love for the people around me, whether they’re my family or whether there are somewhat there’s someone that I just know from around school, I weigh myself with the ability to discern when it is the right time to say sorry and not just say sorry, because women are trained to say sorry at almost everything. I weigh myself with my leadership skills and the ability to not care if people call me bossy behind my back or to my face because I’m the one getting stuff done. So yeah, that’s what I weigh myself with. [01:03:50][0.0]

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