October 17, 2023
Hope you’re well friends! Nicole is learning to love massages while Sasheer is tired and would love to enjoy a massage. Nicole shares that she fought for her life during a Turkish massage, but her skin was glowing afterwards and magically understands Greek. Sasheer just saw Janelle Monáe, and Flyana Boss opened for her. Nicole loves Flyana Boss and hopes that there is no darkness in their lives. Sasheer is a small purse kinda girl. Nicole is a big purse kinda girl and doesn’t know how to feel about her new small wallet. Sasheer has to get up on her frozen treats, meanwhile Nicole is on a mission for some good soft serve ice cream. Sasheer and Nicole do an unexpected deep dive in the many controversies surrounding the restaurant Cracker Barrel. They answer a friendship question about getting more one-on-one time with a bestie who wants to bring their new partner everywhere and how to tell their friend they have a bad body odor.
This was recorded on Sept. 11th 2023.
Cracker Barrel Has ‘Fallen’? Folksy Southern Food Chain Becomes Latest Unlikely Target Of Anti-LGBTQ Crusade
8 Scandals Cracker Barrel Hopes You’ll Forget
Check out Sasheer’s Comedy Special “First Woman” on 800 Pound Gorilla or for free on YouTube. https://800poundgorillamedia.com/products/sasheer-zamata-the-first-woman
Here is the quiz we took:
Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:
227 — Nicole Can Understand Greek… Cause She’s Hot!
Nicole: Hi, Sasheer.
Sasheer: Hi, Nicole.
Nicole: How are you today?
Sasheer: Good… I’m good.
Nicole: Oh no. Are you good?
Sasheer: I’m just tired. I feel like I’ve just been bouncing around a lot, and I’d like to lay down for a little bit.
Nicole: Oh, you can do that.
Nicole: Yes, you can just say no to things and not bounce around and just lay on down.
Sasheer: Yeah, that’s true. But I am leaving Wednesday night.
Nicole: Where are you going Wednesday?
Sasheer: To D.C.
Nicole: Oh, yeah. I think you told me about that. Then when are you back?
Sasheer: Friday. But then I don’t have a set date on when I’m leaving again, so I think I’ll have time to chill.
Nicole: Yeah, chill in your space. Have a nice time. Look around. Be like, “This is my space.” Think of things you could change, you know?
Nicole: Anyways, Sasheer, I really do think you should take some you time and get massages and lay down. Those are the things you like.
Sasheer: I do love a massage. Yeah.
Nicole: You should get one. I’m learning to love them. I don’t know if I told you about the massage that I had when I was in Greece, where I was fighting for my life.
Sasheer: No. It doesn’t sound relaxing at all.
Nicole: Let me tell you, it wasn’t. Mano brought me to… I think it’s a Turkish massage. So we go, and they’re like, “Here are these tiny panties you can wear.” And I was like, “And what else?” And they’re like, “These tiny little towels.” I’m like, “You got bigger ones? I’m big.” And they were like, “We prepared.” So, they gave me bigger towels, and that was nice. And then they were like, “It’s hot.” And I said, “Okay.” And when we checked in, they were like, “Do you like the heat?” And we were like, “Ha ha ha ha. I guess.” It was, like, 110 degrees in this little room. They brought us in. And then they made us put, like, a mask on. But it just kept falling off my face because I was so hot. And then there’s a faucet with cold water. And I kept, like, dumping that on me. And I was trying not to get my own underwear wet because their little disposable ones didn’t fit me. But it was like, “That’s a wrap. My underwear is just soaking wet.” And it was so hot. And then you lay down on a stone. And we ate right before we went, which was probably a mistake because when I was on my stomach, she was, like, pushing the life out of me. I was like, “I’m going to shit all over this lady.” But good news: I didn’t.
Sasheer: Thank goodness.
Nicole: And she kept being like, “Are you okay?” And in my brain, I was like, “No. I’m going to die.” But I kept saying, “Yes, I am.” And then it felt like I was getting beaten with a wig. But I think it was, like, feathers or… I don’t know. I think it was leaves–bay leaves–or something. Maybe not bay leaves. I don’t know. But it felt like a wig, and that was silly to me. And then they soap you up.
Sasheer: Palm leaves or something?
Nicole: Maybe. I truly don’t know what it was.
Sasheer: I wish it was bay leaves though. I wish they were just seasoning your back.
Nicole: They were like, “Ooh, we’re going to eat her. That’s why it’s so hot in here. We clean her up. Cook her up.”
Sasheer: “It’s a trap!” They’re all the witch from Hansel and Gretel. “It’s a massage. Yes.”
Nicole: “You’re on this hard stone, and we’re hitting you to tenderize– Uh. I mean to relax your body.” And then Mano at one point was like, “Oh, isn’t it refreshing to have cold water thrown on you in this heat?” And I was like, “You’re getting cold water?” She was just throwing more hot water on me. And every time it happened, I was like, “It’s just so hot!” So, then she started throwing cold water on me, and that was really nice. And then she sat me up, and she was like, “Are you okay?” And I was like, “Yes.” But I don’t think my eyes were telegraphing that I was okay. And then she threw a bunch of cold water on me, and then it was done. And it also was, like, an hour long. Afterwards, I couldn’t regulate my body temperature. I was internally an inferno. And I was like, “Mano, we have to go back to the Airbnb.” And he was like, “Yeah. I also feel that.” And I was like, “No. No. I think I’m dying.” And I took a very, very cold shower. And then finally, my internal body temperature lowered. Also, I could understand Greek in the cab ride back.
Sasheer: Oh. They slapped you into understanding Greek?
Nicole: Not fully. That’s what it felt like. At one point I was like, “That lady just asked you if you learned Greek in school or with your family.” And Mano was like, “Yes.” And then she said something else, and I was like, “Oh, I think you’re saying this?” And she was like, “Yes.” But then as my body heat was going down a little bit, I couldn’t understand it anymore.
Sasheer: Oh, my goodness! Whoa! Maybe you unlocked a superpower. The hotter you get, the more Greek you can understand.
Nicole: It was wild. Oh, but my skin. My skin had been… I need to find another one. I don’t know where to go. My skin had never looked better than after this.
Sasheer: Ooh. Interesting.
Nicole: And this is the best my skin has ever looked in my whole life. And I feel like I was fighting for my life in that hot room.
Sasheer: I feel like there are Turkish baths in LA. I have never looked for one. They’re definitely in New York. I feel like they’re in big cities, but maybe not.
Nicole: Los Angeles is one of the biggest cities.
Sasheer: So, you know…
Nicole: I’m dying to get back to one.
Sasheer: You were dying to get out.
Nicole: I know. I had one of the worst times of my life. And I can’t wait to go back.
Sasheer: Oh! Judith found… “Hammond?” Wait. “The Raven Spa?” In Santa Monica.
Nicole: You want me to drive? To the West Side?
Sasheer: If you really want that.
Nicole: I want to get beat up again in the heat. Boy, I really, really loved it.
Sasheer: Oh, that’s great. I’ve been doing this thing lately where at the end of my hot shower, I’ll try to put it on cold water and then, like, stand there for like a minute. And it sucks every time. But it’s supposed to be good for your circulation and sleep and digestion and other stuff where you just, like, are in cold for a minute. And I will say my circulation is better because I have been… I’m, like, borderline anemic, and usually I’m always cold. But lately I’ve been getting hot. It’s hot and sometimes hotter than the people around me.
Nicole: Wow! Do you do this at night, too?
Sasheer: Yeah. I mean, it’s kind of random. I don’t have, like, a full routine. But whenever I’m in the shower, I’m like, “Okay, you may as well do it.” And then I just try to slam it over to cold.
Nicole: I know cold water is good for mornings and warm to hot is good at night because the cold, like, shocks stuff in you. When they do a polar plunge, you do it in the morning because there’s something… I can’t remember why you don’t do it at night. But I know warm water for nighttime is soothing and makes your body relax and it goes, “Oh. We’re warm. Time to get in a bed.”
Sasheer: This does make sense because after I do the cold, I’m very, like, perked up and like, “Get me out of here.” So, I can’t imagine going to bed after that.
Nicole: No. Shock your body, baby. Another Mano story. We were hanging out with some people. Oh, Jess MacKenna and her husband, Morgan, who’s really… They’re both just the nicest. They have, like, a polar plunge thing. And Mano did it. And I couldn’t stop screaming, “It’s so cold! Are you okay?” And he was just like, “Brrrr.” Teeth chattering. And I was more affected, I think, than he was.
Sasheer: You were sympathy screaming?
Nicole: I truly was. Sometimes in the winter, I’ll go for a swim when it’s ice fucking cold. Just to jump start the week. Feelings in my body, you know? Wait, you just saw Janelle Monáe.
Sasheer: I did.
Nicole: How was it?
Sasheer: Great. Really cool.
Nicole: She was good?
Sasheer: She was great. I mean, her voice has always been incredible. Still incredible. She looks damn good, and I really can’t figure out how her breasts are so perky.
Nicole: Did she take them out?
Sasheer: They did not come out. She did, like, show us some underboob. But they weren’t fully out. But there was a moment where she was just wearing a shirt, and you could tell there was no bra underneath. And I was like, “How are they like that?” And she got some tig ol’ bitties. And they’re just suspended in space. I mean, she is an alien. Or a robot?
Nicole: She is an android.
Sasheer: She’s an android. Yes.
Nicole: She’s not an iPhone. She is an Android. I wonder. I’m always… My titties have been sagging since I got titties. Like, puberty wasn’t kind. It was just like, “Here they are. And they don’t face outward.” My nipples…
Nicole: They’re, like, at a 45-degree angle. I’m not a mathematician. I can’t really tell you angles. But yeah, some people are just, like, naturally blessed. Or maybe she had a boob job.
Sasheer: Maybe. But the way they move indicates that it seems natural. There’s no stiffness happening.
Nicole: Well, if she had a reduction, then there’s nothing foreign being thrown into them titties.
Nicole: It’s just titty fat leaving.
Sasheer: Maybe. I don’t know. I have no idea how big they were before because she was in tuxedos for most of her career.
Nicole: Yeah. Maybe when she was an android, she said, “Gotta be a robot. Them titties are too big for me to do anything else.” I don’t know. Is it bad to speculate about people’s bodies?
Sasheer: Maybe. Well, we’re not objectifying her. It’s merely a question of science.
Nicole: It is a scientific question. How are they so buoyant?
Sasheer: We’re talking physics over here really.
Nicole: We are physicians. No. What do we call physics people? Not “physicians.”
Sasheer: Yeah. “Physicians” doesn’t sound right.
Nicole: That’s a doctor of your body.
Sasheer: Of, like, medicine.
Nicole: “Physicists?” No.
Judith: Yes. A “physicist.”
Nicole: That’s dumb. We should have come up with a different name for a physician–for a body doctor. Why did we do that? The English language is awful. I can’t imagine learning it as a second language.
Sasheer: Well, if you heat it up real hot, I’m sure you’ll be able to easily learn it.
Nicole: “Sizzling English for you. Mmmm. I know it all now.” It was wild, Sasheer. I truly could understand this lady for, like, a solid six minutes as I’m in this cab, going in and out of consciousness.
Sasheer: That’s so funny. Great. Should we take a quiz?
Nicole: Wait, you were going to say something.
Sasheer: Was I? Oh. Flyana Boss opened for Janelle Monáe, too.
Nicole: How were they? I love them!
Sasheer: They are stars. They’re so entertaining. Everyone was on their feet. Everyone was loving it. I only know a couple of their songs. I put them on Spotify and was trying to listen to songs other than the one that’s very popular on TikTok. And they’re all very fun. But I was like, “I’m having a blast. This is great.” They’re just, like, pure joy.
Nicole: They really are. And they seem so happy. I hope there’s no darkness in their lives.
Sasheer: Yeah, I hope not either.
Nicole: You know how sometimes people present happy and then you find out later they’re struggling. Like, I don’t want that. I want them to just be pure happiness. And I don’t want fame to ruin them.
Sasheer: Yeah, but they seemed… From the little I know about them, from just seeing them on stage, they seemed well-adjusted. And they were also just, like, genuinely grateful. They were just like, “This is the biggest crowd we have performed for! That’s my best friend! We’re having a blast! Thank you, Janelle Monáe!” I was like, “Oh, my God! I’m so happy for you!”
Nicole: That’s so sweet. Before they get too big, we should get them on this podcast and make them do Besting Everybody.
Sasheer: Yeah. Definitely.
Nicole: Now we can do a quiz unless there’s something you want to tell me.
Sasheer: No. Is there something you want to tell me?
Nicole: I got pizza. And it was, like, a little too salty, but still pretty good. And then as I’ve heated up throughout these couple of days since I got that pizza… Because what I do is I order great big pizza and eat it throughout the week, so I don’t have to cook, which isn’t good. I need to eat actual vegetables. But anyway, I’m an adult. I can do whatever the fuck I want. But as I heat up, it’s not as salty as it was the first time.
Sasheer: And you miss that saltiness?
Nicole: No. I’m just wondering what happened to this pizza and how come the older it gets, the less salty it gets?
Sasheer: This I don’t know.
Nicole: Me either.
Sasheer: Is it in Tupperware or just the box that came in?
Nicole: You know it’s in a Ziploc bag.
Sasheer: Okay, that’s something. I honestly thought it was still in, like, the cardboard box it came in. I was going to be concerned.
Nicole: No, it doesn’t fit in the refrigerator. But you know if it did, that’s how it would be. No. Instead, I stack them on top of one another and put them in a Ziploc bag. And it looks so gross when you open the refrigerator.
Sasheer: A stack of pizza slices IS not as appealing as, like, a full pie.
Nicole: It’s funny. But yeah, that’s all I really wanted to tell you. I’m not sure why my pizza is getting less salty, but I’m happy about it.
Sasheer: Thank you for telling me. I appreciate that.
Nicole: Okay. I have another thing to tell you. I have switched to a smaller wallet, and… I don’t know how I feel. I’m a big wallet girl. I carry all of my stuff–my cracked tooth, drugs, cards, cash, cards that are expired, business cards from anybody I’ve ever met in my whole life, my checkbook.
Sasheer: I think it’s really funny that you carry your checkbook around.
Nicole: Well, you never know if your tenure… Is that how you say money? Is that “tenure.” If your tenure is going to be declined. You don’t know. And maybe they’ll take a check. I once wrote a check at Gelson’s and the whole line was so mad at me.
Sasheer: That’s very, very funny. “Are you fucking kidding me? Do Apple Pay. What’s wrong with you?”
Nicole: They’re Hello Kitty checks. And I love looking at them. They’re great. I just don’t know how people do smaller wallets. Like, what do you do with all your things?
Sasheer: I guess I just assess what I need on a daily basis and then put that in my purse. I’m a small purse kind of girl.
Nicole: You really are. And I truly just bought a huge purse. And I put my tiny wallet in it. And I was like, “This is sick.” Usually when I throw my wallet in my purse, there’s a thud. And there was no thud. I bought a tiny purse for Beyoncé, and it was even too big for Beyonce.
Sasheer: That was very funny because I saw you get in the car and you had your purse, which looked so cute. All your silver was matching. Silver purse, silver top, silver pants. And I was like, “I have a feeling that purse is too big.” And then you were looking at the measurements from the website. And it was in fact too big.
Nicole: Two inches too big on either side. And then I was like, “Do I not understand how small purses can get?”
Sasheer: I don’t think you do. You’re like, “Got it. Small purse.” It’s still a full purse.
Nicole: On amazon.com… Silver is not my go-to color. Gold is. So, I don’t want to buy an expensive silver purse. So, on amazon.com, it said “small purse.” So, I was like, “This surely will be great for Beyoncé.” I wish they had said, “This is not good for Beyoncé.”
Sasheer: “Small purse. (Don’t try to take this to Beyoncé.)”
Nicole: God, I had a good time at Beyoncé. She’s so good.
Sasheer: She’s so good. That was so fun.
Nicole: I think about it constantly. Her outfit for… Have we talked about Beyoncé on this podcast?
Sasheer: I don’t think we did.
Nicole: I don’t think we did either, which seems pretty rude. But her outfit for Break My Soul was my favorite because she looked like a jockey. Doing a concert at 8:00 and, like, doing jockeying at 10:00. And it was so colorful and pretty. She changed into so many different outfits. And honestly, at the end of the concert, I turned to you, and I was like, “Well, this has to end soon. I’m tired.” Yeah, I was just dancing along with her with no choreography to remember or lyrics to remember.
Sasheer: Yeah. I know. I’m like, “How is she not exhausted? She has to do this night after night after night!”
Nicole: She did it, I think, three nights in a row.
Nicole: I guess I’m done. And I guess we could do a quiz.
Nicole: Oh. “Eat at this ice cream buffet, and we’ll reveal your best…”
Sasheer: “Eat at this ice cream buffet, and we’ll reveal your best personality trait.”
Nicole: That was really hard for me to say. “Best.”
Sasheer: And you broke down.
Nicole: I did. You want to do that one?
Sasheer: Yes, let’s do that one.
Nicole: Listen, last night at the restaurant I went to, they have soft serve–one of the reasons why I love this restaurant. But they didn’t have no flavor I wanted. They only had two. They did not have the one I wanted. Which is what? Vanilla. And also, I found out it’s not soft serve that’s coming right out of a machine. I think they’re soft serving out of the machine in the morning and then freezing it because it’s not the texture or the consistency of soft serve.
Sasheer: Oh no.
Nicole: But I did find a fabulous soft serve place in Laguna Beach. So, the question is, will I be driving every couple of days for two hours for soft serve?
Sasheer: Well, if you’re already going to go to Santa Monica for your Turkish bath…
Nicole: Oh, God… Might as well.
Jordan: I mean, you can drive the two hours if you want. But there is a place in Burbank that has some pretty decent soft serve. And you can go through a drive thru.
Nicole: What the fuck?
Jordan: Yeah, it’s called Fosters.
Nicole: Oh, I’ve been to a Fosters.
Jordan: I think that’s what it’s called. It’s right in the Burbank downtown. But it’s super easy to go right through. Sometimes there’s a wait. But if I’m really craving a soft serve, I just swing over there. It’s not the best of the best soft serve I’ve ever had. But, like, it crushes the craving.
Nicole: Wow. What are–? Oh, what’s a twister? Oh, that’s like a blizzard. A Reese’s peanut butter cup–?
Jordan: Yeah. But they have some pretty solid soft serve cones that I get. And it’s right in Burbank, so you have to drive the hours.
Nicole: Okay. I’m into this. Okay. Great. Thank you, Jordan. That was really kind of you. Okay. “Eat at this ice cream buffet, and we’ll reveal your best personality trait.” I don’t know why I can’t read the sentence good.
Sasheer: It’s okay. “Pick a flavor.”
Nicole: “Birthday cake.”
Nicole: That’s more of a sorbet. “Buttered pecan.”
Nicole: Butter pecan is sick. Cherry is disgusting. Again, mango is a sorbet. Birthday cake is not blue. Pistachio is not for me. So, I have to go with chocolate.
Sasheer: I think I would try butter pecan. I like buttery stuff.
Nicole: In your ice cream?
Sasheer: I guess. I don’t know.
Sasheer: It’s a good dessert flavor.
Nicole: Well, I did say to somebody that I liked a buttery chardonnay, and everyone at the table went, “Ew!” And I was like, “I’ll show you! I’ll show you! I’ll bring a bottle one day when you least expect it! You’ll love a buttery chard!”
Sasheer: “I’ll show you.” So aggressive.
Nicole: “Pick a flavor.”
Sasheer: “Mint chocolate chip.”
Nicole: Ew. “Strawberry.”
Sasheer: “Rocky Road.”
Nicole: That barely has any rocks in it. “Raspberry.”
Nicole: “Rum raisin.” I do like ube ice cream, but I also love strawberry. But that one has chunks in it. So, I’m going to say ube.
Sasheer: I’m going to say mint chocolate chip. Why are you making that face?
Nicole: I’m really just not a fan of mint chocolate anything. Like, a York Peppermint Patty is the sickest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. Those things are nasty.
Sasheer: I like a mint chocolate thing.
Nicole: Oh! You like a York Peppermint Patty?
Sasheer: Yeah. I make it sound like I eat it all the time. But that is a favorable flavor for me.
Nicole: Okay. A mini-Snickers bar or a York Peppermint Patty?
Sasheer: Mini Snickers.
Nicole: Okay. Thank God. Just chocolate and mint together I think are so upsetting. I don’t think there’s anything worse.
Sasheer: I’m sure there are things that are worse.
Nicole: Yeah, I guess pickles and mustard together. Yuck!
Sasheer: There you go. “Pick a flavor.”
Sasheer: “Peanut butter.”
Nicole: Ick. “Bubblegum.”
Nicole: Again, more of a sorbet, it looks like. “Chocolate almond.”
Nicole: Cinnamon ice cream? I wonder if it would taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Sasheer, driving back from Vegas once, I had the best milkshake of my whole fucking life from a Fatburger. And it was a Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshake. And I was hung over, but it changed my life. Judith, do you mind looking up if they still offer the limited-edition Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshake at Fatburger? God, I love a cold, frosty treat.
Sasheer: I’m actually getting more adjusted to cold, frosty treats.
Nicole: Oh, you’ll lick ice cream with me?
Sasheer: I will like ice cream with you.
Nicole: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Sasheer: I’ve had a few licks recently, and I think maybe the cold showers are helping and my body temperature is regulating, and it doesn’t feel as cold as it did before.
Nicole: Wow. Everything is changing. And I typically don’t like change, but I typically forget you hate ice cream. So…
Sasheer: Yeah! So now you don’t have to forget.
Nicole: I don’t have to forget. She doesn’t hate it! Oh, my God. This is great. Okay. I don’t think it’s on the menu because it was limited edition, but I wonder if they’ll ever bring it fucking back. It was so good. It doesn’t seem as such. It doesn’t say, “We’re bringing it back” anywhere.
Sasheer: “We know you’ve been asking for it!”
Nicole: “We know that you had a lifechanging experience with one on a road trip from fucking Vegas back to LA where you were hungover!”
Sasheer: “Back by no demand!”
Nicole: So, it was February 22nd, 2022. How do we get to the Fatburger headquarters and tell them that I need this specifically back in my life?
Sasheer: You could probably just DM them.
Nicole: Maybe. Well, okay. I have been publicly saying that Applebee’s needs to bring back the Apple Chimicheesecake, and they won’t. And I even met a higher up at Applebee’s in their corporate division. And I told him what I fucking thought. And he said, “I’ll see what I can do.” And I’m pretty sure he didn’t do anything because it didn’t come back!
Sasheer: When did you meet someone at Applebee’s corporate?
Nicole: Don’t worry about it! But I made it happen. And boy, was I steamed when it didn’t happen immediately. And it’s been, like, a year or two since, and it hasn’t happened. So, okay, if somebody listening works at Applebee’s corporate or knows somebody who works at Applebee’s corporate, could you please ask for the Chimicheesecake is going to come back. It’s the best. And then if somebody works at Fatburger’s corporate office, can you please bring back that Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshake?
Sasheer: Send it up the ladder!
Nicole: Yes. Tell the people that one singular person needs this. “Pick a flavor.” Oh, wait. We already did it. I pick vanilla.
Sasheer: “I’m going to pick peanut butter.”
Nicole: That would be my second pick. I do love a peanut butter, creamy, creamy ice cream.
Sasheer: John Milhiser was making peanut butter ice cream for a while, right?
Nicole: It was so good.
Sasheer: It was very good.
Nicole: He is a real ice cream wizard. A little Willy Wonka.
Sasheer: “Pick a flavor.”
Nicole: I don’t know if I want to see the Timothée Chalamet one. Did it come out yet?
Sasheer: I think it comes out around Christmas.
Nicole: Oh, interesting. I feel like he thinks he’s being, like, really weird and zany. And I’m like, “This is barely weird.” I’m weirder alone with my dog. “Butterscotch.”
Nicole: Oooh. “Lime.”
Nicole: Again, this lime looks like sorbet. You know what I really, really do love? Italian fucking ice. There’s this place on Melrose called Happy Ice. And it is like New York Italian ice–like you get from the carts on 125th in the summer. And it is incredible. The cherry is so good. And then sometimes they’ll have soft serve that they’ll put right on top for you. And you can do both at the same time for a creamy, icy fucking treat. Can you even?
Sasheer: Now, since I’m new to the cold stuff, is Italian ice with, like, flavoring put on top of it?
Nicole: No, that’s shaved ice. That’s, like, a snow cone–that’s shaved ice. Italian ice is, like, creamy not exactly sorbet… I honestly don’t know. I think some people call it “water ice.”
Sasheer: Yeah. It’s, like, creamy?
Nicole: Yes. It’s like creamy fruit. Creamy fruity? I don’t even know how to describe it, but it’s one of my favorite treats. Can you look up if there’s a Rita’s Italian Ice because Instagram keeps serving me an ad about Rita’s mixing up something into a yummy slush. And I was like, “I have to go find a Rita’s.”
Sasheer: Yep. There’s a Rita’s.
Nicole: Palm’s Boulevard. Is that Burbank? Where’s that at? Oh, my God. I got to drive to the West Side?
Sasheer: Everything you want is on the West Side.
Nicole: This fucking sucks. I gotta drive to Mar Vista? What the fuck? I don’t want to. Isn’t there one closer to me? Judith?
Judith: That’s the closest one. Because I grew up on the East Coast, I love Italian water ice. And so, when I looked up where the Rita’s is, this was the closest one.
Nicole: That’s a pretty big bummer. But I think I might have to make a pilgrimage because they’re making, like, custardy milkshakies with, I think, Italian ice or something. And I was like, “Oh shit, I better get to inspecting.”
Sasheer: “Aw shit.”
Jordan: There’s a Hawaiian shaved ice place, but it’s more of, like, a snow cone.
Nicole: That’s not for me. Well, I guess I shouldn’t say it’s not for me. I really do love a frosty treat, and I haven’t really had enough of them to decide whether or not I actually don’t like them.
Sasheer: Wow. Okay.
Nicole: And what I need to do with Frosty treats is unbiased. I pick cheesecake.
Sasheer: I will pick butterscotch.
Nicole: You’re really here for, like, a savory sweet.
Sasheer: Yeah, I think the kind of sweets I like are, like, chocolaty, buttery… Yeah. Richer, I guess. Sweet.
Nicole: Remember what he ate a whole brick of fudge and you offered it to people in the wildest way? “Fudge? Fudge! Fudge?”
Sasheer: Yeah. We were on a girls trip. And the house manager left, like, cheese and fruit and wine and stuff for us. And it was so sweet. And there was, like, a brick of fudge. And I just assumed everyone would have wanted it. So, I brought it to the table. When everyone was eating dinner or eating Mexican food, I unwrapped this fudge, and I sliced it with a knife.
Nicole: The smallest little slices you could ever see. I’ve never seen fudge sliced like this.
Sasheer: Because in my mind I was like, “I don’t want to just bite it because people are going to want this fudge.” So, I just made thin little slices, and then we’d eat it. And I’m like, “Well, I want another one.” So, I sliced another slice. And then eventually, when there was a lull in the conversation, I was like, “Fudge? Anyone want fudge? Do you want fudge? Fudge?” And everyone was like, “No, we don’t want the fudge.”
Nicole: “Nobody wants fudge.” It was very funny.
Sasheer: “Pick a flavor.”
Nicole: “Cookie dough.” Now, this is not ice cream, and I think we can all agree. This is just cookie dough.
Sasheer: But isn’t there cookie dough flavored ice cream?
Nicole: Yes, but this picture is not cookie dough ice cream. Cookie dough ice cream is, like, vanilla ice cream with chunks of cookie dough in it.
Nicole: This is just a scoop of cookie dough on a cone. Who does that?
Sasheer: You know, it would’ve fooled me. I thought it was ice cream.
Nicole: Study up, bitch. You gotta study up. You gotta learn about your treats.
Sasheer: I got lots to learn. “Blueberry.”
Nicole: “Cotton candy.”
Nicole: Ooh, I wonder if they mean Orange Creamsicle because if so, I’m in. “Papaya.”
Nicole: I’m going to pick orange because I love Orange Creamsicle.
Sasheer: I’ve got to pick cookie dough, even though it’s a mystery if that’s ice cream or cookie dough. But either way, I would eat it. Even better if it’s cookie dough.
Judith: This is Sasheer’s.
Nicole: What is this quiz? Oh, okay.
Judith: Eat at This Ice Cream Buffet and We’ll Reveal Your Best Personality Trait.
Nicole: You know what I really want to do? Before you read your result. I want to go to a Chinese buffet. They also have soft serve and all you can eat.
Sasheer: I feel like you were describing this to me the other day and you were like, “You’ve never been to a Chinese buffet?” And you were, like, hyping it up. And I was like, “I just… Buffets don’t appeal to me, especially post COVID.”
Nicole: But you can eat everything you want for, like, $11.
Sasheer: Yeah, I understand the rules of a buffet.
Nicole: You go back for seconds and thirds and fourths. And nobody tells you no.
Sasheer: Well, there’s very few buffets I’ve been to where I’m like, “Oh…” I understand why it’s this cheap because the quality is not there. Like, I’d rather have, like, one serving of really good mac and cheese, steak, or whatever the thing is than many servings of something that’s, like, not that tasty.
Nicole: But what if you get 100 mediocre things and one delicious thing and then soft serve?
Sasheer: Then couldn’t you just go somewhere and get the soft serve?
Nicole: Fuck off. Okay. I guess this is where overeaters’ and binge eaters’ minds are different than people who don’t do that because to me, I’m like, “$11? All I can eat?” And it’s, like, fine. But I can, like, pack it in before I go to sleep for the winter. And by winter, I mean the night. How can I say no to that deal?
Sasheer: “Before I hibernate for six months.”
Nicole: “Which is actually just one night because I got to eat again tomorrow.” I wanted to take you to a Golden Corral, but I guess I won’t take you to a Golden Corral.
Sasheer: I’ll go. I’ll go. We’ll sing. They also have meals at Golden Corral, I think.
Nicole: They do?
Sasheer: I’m pretty sure you can just order whatever you want.
Nicole: Oh. I watched a TikTok of a lady who went for breakfast, stayed for lunch, and stayed for dinner. And they only asked her to move her table. That’s it.
Sasheer: And that’s very nice. And that’s why you will take me to a Golden Corral?
Nicole: Well, I don’t eat there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I was like, “They seem nice.” And I said, “I should take my friend to a nice place. Nothing but the finest for my friend.”
Sasheer: Didn’t they have a thing recently where, like, their logo was called out for…? No, that was a Cracker Barrel. Never mind.
Nicole: I mean, Cracker Barrel… What a name!
Sasheer: Yeah. I feel like there was, like, a whip or something in their logo.
Nicole: There’s a whip?
Sasheer: Something. There is some sort of recent controversy with them. I can’t remember what it was. But they, like, maybe changed the picture–the image.
Nicole: Forbes has an article. Cracker Barrel Has Fallen.
Sasheer: Can you go to that article? “Folksy Southern food chain becomes latest unlikely target of anti-LGBTQ crusade.”
Nicole: What? Cracker Barrel? They were tweeting, “Cracker Barrel has fallen.” The Texas Family Project–they were tweeting screenshots of pride and diversity and equity and inclusion and a rainbow-colored rocking chair outside. And they didn’t like that Cracker Barrel was woke. Oh, my goodness. Scroll, scroll, scroll.
Sasheer: I don’t think this is what I’m thinking of, but this is funny. They’re getting mad at a rainbow rocking chair.
Nicole: “Not outside my Cracker Barrel!” Let’s see. This is so funny. Like, just to be upset that there’s a…? “At least nine gay employees were fired”? Whoa! No! But Cracker Barrel openly supported Pride Month since 1981. This is wild. The company stirred controversy after it introduced a plant-based sausage.
Nicole: That’s pretty funny. “What? This has plants? I don’t want plants!”
Sasheer: “Eight Scandals Cracker Barrel Hopes You’ll Forget.”
Nicole: Well, we better see that.
Jordan: Also, the controversy with the logo–they were saying that the barrel refers to a barrel that was used to hold whips.
Sasheer: Oh, yes. And I think part of the lettering is a whip.
Nicole: The K is a whip that goes around. Interesting. Wow. So that is truly a restaurant where we are not welcomed, and it’s, like, through and through. “Our logo is a barrel that holds whips, and our thing is a whip. Okay. Decorative news. We went through that. Okay, what’s next?
Sasheer: “A toxic beverage?” Oh no. “Served a, quote unquote, ‘beverage’ that was actually a glass full of industrial cleaning chemicals.”
Nicole: Whoa! And you got a chemical burn on the mouth! And then they had to pay that man $9.4 million.
Sasheer: How do you mess that up?
Nicole: “Billy Bob, should I pour this Windex in here or 7UP?” “A racist code word?”
Sasheer: Oh, God. “They created a code word to refer to Black customers. When African American diners came to the restaurant, some of the workers would refer to them as ‘Canadians.’” Oh, God.
Nicole: Pretty funny. What a weird word. “The salmonella shutdown.” Wow. Cracker Bell’s been through it. “A Cracker Barrel in Kalamazoo, Michigan, just couldn’t overcome a salmonella outbreak.” Oh, my God. Okay, so it reopened, but later that year, another prison was hit with salmonella.
Nicole: “Unable to expunge the bacteria, the restaurant instead shuttered itself permanently.”
Sasheer: Oh, my God.
Nicole: Don’t you just clean? Bleach?
Sasheer: You know, it’s hard to say. I don’t know. “Siding with anti-LGBTQ people in 2013. Phil Robertson, who’s on Duck Dynasty, said some seriously ugly things about gay people. Cracker Barrel, which sold a number of Duck Commander items in its stores–Duck Commander being the company run by the Robertson family–pulled many of these items off its shelves, which was the right thing to do, when many customers complained the chain put all the merchandise right back and apologized.”
Nicole: Wow, Cracker Barrel. Imagine this episode of this podcast as what actually takes down Cracker Barrel. Okay. “Systemic racism. They’re not limited to single locations. The bigotry… There’s multiple lawsuits brought by the NAACP. Black customers are segregated from Caucasians, and they’re put in the smoking sections. People of color experience longer wait times and poorer service.” Cracker Barrel, no! But also, Black people, why are you going to a Cracker Barrel?
Sasheer: “Underpaid staff. In the spring of 2021, Cracker Barrel was hit with the major lawsuit alleging it was not properly paying many of its workers. The complaint alleged that the chain violated Fair Labor Standards Act by applying a tipped credit to hourly wages of servers, even though these servers were required to spend more than a fifth of their working hours doing duties for which they could not earn tips from customers.”
Nicole: “The whip.” We talked about that. Wow. I’m here to say I don’t support a Cracker Barrel. I’ve never been. I never will.
Sasheer: I’m a Ponderosa girl.
Nicole: Oh, Ponderosa? I’ve never been.
Sasheer: Maybe it’s a Midwest thing. That was where my family would go after church, and that was, like, a buffet place.
Nicole: Ooh. We would go to Old Town Buffet or Perkins or this diner right by the church. We had many locations. Oh, this is your personality?
Sasheer: Yes. Okay, so this is my best personality trait, according to this ice cream test. “Loyalty. No one and nothing can come between you and those you love. You go into full protection mode.” Nice!
Nicole: Yeah. Nice! My best personality trait is “creativity.” “You see the world in a way completely unlike anyone else. You have an eye for design and art that really sets you apart.” Yes, I do. I live in Willy Wonka’s house for girls. No, my friend who visited me was like, “You live in Pee-wee’s Playhouse for girls.” And I agree. I fully agree. Wow. I do think that BuzzFeed got us this time, so I will not say defund them. They can keep going, even though some of the pictures were incorrect.
Sasheer: I feel like that’s right. Should we answer some queries?
Nicole: Yes, some queries–some questions–and help the people.
Caller #1: Hello, Nicole and Sasheer and whomever is listening. My problem is, I guess, not that difficult. But my best friend has been my friend for ten years now, so I guess a decent amount of time. But we’re both quite sensitive little men who somewhat have problems with confrontation with each other. And this friend just got into a relationship about a year ago. And me and her get along very, very well. She’s the first girlfriend he’s ever had in these ten years who actually likes me. So that’s good, I guess. But my problem is my friend will not hang out one on one–just me and him. She always has to be involved. And I don’t know how to really tell him, “Hey, dude. You want to hang out with your girlfriend. I don’t want to hang out with your girlfriend.” And he knows this is an issue because he said before, like, “Not to be that guy who always brings his girlfriend around.” And it’s like, “But you are being that guy.” So how do I approach this topic with him because, you know, he, as I said, is a sensitive dude? And I don’t want to potentially make a good relationship that I have with his girlfriend turn into what all of his other relationships with his girlfriend I turned into. So, yes, I hope that was quick and easy. Thanks for everything. You guys are fantastic. And yeah. I hope you guys have a blessed one.”
Nicole: Ah! “A blessed one.”
Sasheer: So blessed.
Nicole: That’s nice when people say, “I hope you are blessed.” I mean, anytime I want just you time, I tell you because I appreciate that you’ll ask if you can bring your partner. And sometimes I’m okay with it. And sometimes… Well, I mean, lately, because I haven’t seen you as often, I’m like, “I would just prefer friend time or gal time or something.” But there is a chance that they just won’t hang out with you because they prefer to hang out with their girlfriend. But, like, maybe you have a talk about that. And I don’t know. It’s kind of a touchy subject because it’s like, “Oh, so you don’t want to hang out with my partner?” But it’s like, “I’m not friends with your partner. I’m friends with you. So, I would prefer to hang out with just you.” But then there is, you know, instances where, like, everyone’s bringing their partners. And I don’t know if this person is partnered. But maybe it’s like you say to your friend, “I would like friendship time. And then we will do stuff with our partners. I will organize a game night or a dinner or something where partners are invited.” But I do think it’s talking to them and just saying, “You’re my friend, and I really do love our time together. And I just don’t want that to get lost.”
Sasheer: Yeah, I like that. I think as long as it’s clear that you’re not saying, “I don’t want to hang out with your girlfriend,” and saying, “I miss you, and I want us time. I value our friendship, and I don’t want it to feel like we’re just, like…” Because it is different. It is different when there’s another person, especially a significant other, that’s not a part of the O.G. friend group. It’s a different type of hang. And yeah, I think as long as it’s clear that you’re not saying you dislike the girlfriend or that there’s anything wrong with the girlfriend and that also you’re open to hanging out with the girlfriend–you just need sometimes where it’s the two of you… And maybe you can arrange something where it’s like, “Okay, every fourth Sunday of the month is guys time or something. We have just the two of us doing the thing that we love to do, which is…” I don’t know. Going to baseball games or…
Nicole: “Golf. Looking at cars on the street. And fucking kick the tires of a truck!”
Sasheer: “You want to kick tires, dude?”
Nicole: I have no idea what men do. I don’t know.
Sasheer: I think we got pretty accurate. Yeah. Yeah. I think definitely have a talk. And I think there’s definitely a way to come at it where hopefully your friend won’t think you’re saying that you don’t want to hang out with his girlfriend. And also, I definitely have friends who got in a relationship and then everyone’s like, “Oh, my God. That new person is keeping our friend away from us. They’re on a tight leash because of that new significant other.” And then I talk to that friend and they’re like, “I actually love being home with my girlfriend.” Some people are just excited to have a partner and use that as an excuse to stay home or not hang out when really, they don’t want to hang out as much. Or they just love being around their girlfriend or boyfriend so much, they’re like, “Well, why wouldn’t they come? That’s who I love. That’s who I want to hang out with all the time,” which is also okay. But I think you can voice that you do want some kind of balance because you don’t want to pooh-pooh on their new love and excitement. But also, there can be room for all the relationships in this person’s life.
Nicole: Yes. And there is, like, a delicate way to do it. But it is such a touchy subject because it’s like, “I only see you a little bit of the time. You spend the rest of the time with your girlfriend.” That’s what I would say. That’s not nice. No, maybe not.
Sasheer: I guess it depends. You know, like, is this person working all day, doing a 9:00 to 5:00? And then maybe they come home and fall asleep next to their girlfriend. But that’s not quality time. You know, we don’t know what this person’s schedule looks like and what they consider to be time with their partner. And if it’s like, “Let’s go to this festival!” and they’re like, “Well, I should bring my girlfriend because they would want to see it too, or I want to experience this with my girlfriend,” that’s understandable. But yeah, I think you can also find a way to have things that are just the boys.
Nicole: Yeah. Yeah. I think if you frame it mostly with, like, “It’s not about this girlfriend. It is about us.”
Nicole: “She’s nice. I’ll spend time with her. But you are my friend. You are the person that I have chosen to be friends with. And I would like to spend quality time with my friend.” I know it’s hard for dudes to talk like that because you’re busy kicking the tires. But you just gotta stop kicking the tires. Look at your friend and say, “Hey, man. I cherish this friendship,” which is a stupid, dumb… Not stupid. It’s a thing that I’ve been trying to do more with people. I try to tell them that, like, “Oh, I really value our friendship and our time together,” because I feel like you don’t hear that enough as an adult and maintaining adult relationships is hard.
Sasheer: That’s true.
Nicole: Oh, wait. Here’s one last thing. Kill the girlfriend. “Yeah! Throw her under the tires and back her up, dude!” Then your friend may be kicking the tires for a different reason. “Stop!”
Nicole: It’ll be great.
Caller #2: Hi, Nicole. Hi, Sasheer. How you all doing? I had a question about… I need some advice about having a friend who… Well, she has a hygiene problem. So, we’ve been friend for 25 years. So, this is how non-confrontational I am. But we’ve been friends for 25 years. And over the years, I’ve noticed she just doesn’t shower often. Maybe, like, daily, which depending on who you talk to… I’ve noticed that hygiene is a bit of an issue for her. Years ago, she came to visit me. And she stayed in the guest room. After she left, there was this lingering BO that stayed in the room for a day or two. And my nose was so offended. And I was like, “Okay.” So, I call her up, and I was like, “Hey, it’s really hard for me to say, and I hope it’s not too embarrassing for you–” But she was already like, “Do I smell?” I was like, “Okay, we love a self-aware queen.” But the conversation was sort of like, “Hey, maybe when you’re showering, get all your crevices. Maybe try to put on a fragrance or something that helps with the BO smell.” So fast forward to today–a few years later–it’s still an issue. I guess the BO smell isn’t as strong, but I’ve noticed that showering is just not a regular thing for her. We haven’t lived together. So, I really only notice it when she comes to visit me. I don’t know what her day to day is as far as her hygiene. But it can’t be that good. So, my question is, how do I bring it up again without sounding like I’m nagging? I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable? What would you do in that situation? So, thank you for your help. Love the podcast.
Sasheer: Hmm. I mean, I’m impressed the first conversation went so well. Thankfully, your friend was open to hearing the concern.
Nicole: Yeah. And they knew they stink, stank, stunk.
Sasheer: Yeah. They brought it up.
Nicole: Yeah. I mean, I have a friend who’s a little stinky, and…
Sasheer: Is it me?
Nicole: I’ve told you you were ripe.
Sasheer: This is true.
Nicole: I’ve been like, “Girl. Ooh, Lord. Something’s afoot.” I feel you’ve told me I’m ripe. And that’s okay. Sometimes you get ripe. But my non-Sasheer stinky friend–I brought up deodorants. We were just, you know, bopping around the conversation, and I was like, “I just started using this Dove deodorant.” And then they were like, “I’ve stopped using deodorant.” And I was like, “Ah.” Did not have to do too much sleuthing. And I said, “Do you think you would ever start wearing deodorant again?” And they said, “No.” And I left it at that. It is a personal thing–smells–because nobody wants to be the stinky person. But if this person’s super close to you, I do think you could be like, “Hey. Remember what we talked about two years ago? It’s happening again. We’re a little stinky.” And then maybe suggest products that you like to use. And then… Oh, if she’s white, be like, “Do you want to start using a washcloth?”
Sasheer: Yeah. I wonder… Multiple things could be the issue because it’s not necessarily just showering. There are some people who don’t shower that often who don’t smell so bad. So, it could be a diet thing. It could be maybe they don’t wash their clothes as often. It’s really hard to pinpoint what it could be. But maybe if you come at it at as a, like… Thank God you’ve discussed this. Oh, who said that?
Nicole: Jordan. Jordan says, “Changes in hormones.”
Sasheer: Yes, this is true. Your body smell can change when your hormones change. But maybe if you bring more of, like, an investigative–
Nicole: Like a game?
Sasheer: A game?
Nicole: Yeah. Be like, “How are you stinky? Is it the clothes? Is it the bathing? Is the lack of deodorant?”
Sasheer: “Is it like candlestick in the library?”
Nicole: Yes! Like, let’s go through it. If she is like, “Am I stinky again?” it’s like, “You are. But, like, let’s figure this out together.” So, I had another stinky person in my life. This was not my friend. She just lived in my apartment. And it wasn’t my choice because she’s not my friend. And her feet stunk so fucking bad that, like, she would, like, take off her shoes after work, and she would have to put her shoes, like, in a Ziploc bag with the socks and, like, it stunk. It smelled like rotting flesh. And then it turned out she had something wrong with her feet. And then she had to, like, go get, like, medicated cream and stuff for it. She had the type of feet where, like, you took them out for a pedicure and they’d go, “You got to go somewhere else.” Her feet were disgusting. And I tried to have empathy and, like, feeling for her. But I remember one time she was, like, in a towel–she had just gotten out of the shower–and, like, walked past me. And her feet stunk. And I was like, “You got to go back in. You got to go back in the shower. You got to do something.” And she was like, “I did wash them!” And I was like, “Nothing worked!” which was not kind. But when I tell you it took over your nostrils in a way that you were like… It was comical. It was like a cartoon. It would just, like, wave into your nose, and you’d be like, “I’m a different person!” It was terrible.
Sasheer: Oh no! Just walking around like Pepé Le Pew.
Nicole: Yes! Her feet were like Pepé Le Pew! But she got some medicated cream, so maybe it’s her feet.
Sasheer: Yeah, there’s something going on. If it’s leaving a smell that stays in the room, something’s off. I don’t think it’s just showering or deodorant or something like that. So, yeah, maybe you could come at it as, like, a concerned friend. Like, “Hey, this issue is still around. Are you interested in figuring out what’s going on?” And then, like, you know, if this person is open to it, then you can, like, research together–maybe send articles on, like, hormone stuff or… Have her assess her own body and be like, “I think it’s coming from my pits or my nether regions or my feet or, you know, wherever.”
Nicole: Yeah, maybe there’s something stuck in her pussy. That makes stink.
Sasheer: Yeah. That happens, too. Some people have, like, bacterial infections or who knows what. But, yeah, I think… Hopefully if it’s if it’s seeming like it’s coming out of place of, like, “I care about you, and I want you to, like, live your best healthy life,” as opposed to, like, “You stink, and I don’t like that,” then hopefully your friend will be open to doing some research and figuring this out.
Nicole: Yeah. Yeah. I really do think make it a game if she’s open to it. Just be like, “Where is it coming from?” And, like, go to her house. See if the house is stinking. Yeah. I wonder if it’s her feet. Sasheer, I cannot describe to you enough how bad it smelled. It was, like, a sweet funk sometimes because she would spray perfume on her feet. And that was worse.
Sasheer: I mean I’m glad she was so self-aware that she herself put her own shoes in a plastic bag as opposed to being like, “It’s fine. It’s not that bad.”
Nicole: I think one of us told her to do so. I think one of us said, “You gotta lock them up. Lock her up!” And I remember one time I woke up out of my sleep from the stink and I had to sleep in the living room because it was so bad. Jordan said, “Sometimes people don’t wash their clothes properly or use a scent free detergent. And clothes definitely hold BO.” Yes. That’s why dry cleaning is not real. Your shit will come back funky from the dry cleaner. And I’m like, “Who’s doing what? You’re spraying it down with what for what? This shit’s funky.”
Sasheer: Yeah. That happened to me once. I dropped off a jumpsuit, and it came back stinky. And I was like, “Did you guys dry clean it?” And they’re like, “Oh, yeah, we dry cleaned it. Did you want us to wash it?” And I was like, “What happens here? What do you do if it’s not…? I don’t understand.” I still have no idea what they do with the dry cleaners.
Nicole: They just spray it with chemicals, Sasheer. There is no washing or laundering happening. And you tell me, how is that clean? Your shit will be funky. As funky as you bring it to them, they give it back to you even funkier sometimes. You’re like, “How did that happen?” It probably was sitting next to something else that was funky that was just dry cleaned. Jordan, did you not know this?
Jordan: No, I didn’t. I mean, I haven’t used the dry cleaners ever. I maybe just handwash something at home. But now I’m also thinking is that why it’s called a “dry cleaner?”
Sasheer: They’re not using water.
Jordan: I feel so dumb!
Nicole: But here’s the thing. If you’re not taking the funk, what are you cleaning?
Sasheer: It’s confusing.
Nicole: I don’t know.
Sasheer: It’s a scam! And then when you buy something that says, “Dry Clean Only,” it’s like, “You want me to stink, Donna Karan. This DKNY dress is never gonna smell good again.”
Sasheer: “Why are you doing this, Donna?”
Nicole: “I went to Marshalls for a deal, and now you’re telling me I got to dry clean something that I got at Marshalls?” I’ll never forget. When I lived in New York, I bought a Donna Karan dress or a DKNY dress from Marshalls. It was dry clean only. And I put it right in that washing machine, and it came out smaller than you could ever… Something happened. It was, like, all fucked up. And I was like, “So I can’t have this now? I can’t have nothing nice.” But usually when I wash things, it’s fine. But this particular dress fucked me right up. You know what else fucks me up?
Sasheer: What else fucks you up? I want to hear the segue.
Nicole: No, it’s okay.
Sasheer: No, come on!
Nicole: You know what fucks me up? When questions are left unanswered. And Sasheer and I will answer questions if you email email@example.com. You can also leave a voicemail or a text message! 424-645-7003. Who has the phone?
Sasheer: What? What did you say? Who has the phone? To our phone number?
Sasheer: I think it’s a Google number or something. “Who has the phone?”
Judith: It’s been since 2019, and now you’re asking?
Sasheer: Yeah. You never wondered before that? Did you think it was, like, Kimmie’s phone number?
Nicole: I knew it wasn’t Kimmie’s phone number, but I thought maybe Kimmie had the phone.
Sasheer: We bought a landline?
Jordan: I actually think I had to give my number for it to fully process. So, like, you’re not kind of wrong. But it’s really funny that it’s now 2023. You’re asking.
Nicole: I thought there was an iPhone floating around that, like, had this number that we were ripping things from. Oh, my God. Also, on Newcomers, I just found out–because we’re recording new episodes–we always say, “Write a Letterboxd review, and then we’ll give a review.” And then I was like, “I wonder if anybody ever, like, thinks about our reviews again.” And Lauren was like, “Well, they go up on Letterboxd.” And I was like, “What?” She’s like, “Why do you think we give a one-sentence review and advertise for Letterboxd?” And I was like, “I simply don’t know.” I did not make the correlation. Sometimes I’m concerned about the brain that I have. But other times I’m happy.
Sasheer: We also have merch at podswag.com/bestfriends.
Nicole: We have transcripts of our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com.
Sasheer: Lastly, don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That’s the easiest way to support Nicole and her brain.
Nicole: I can’t believe there’s no phone. Oh no…
November 21, 2023
This week, we’ve got a couch! And we’re live from the Netflix Is A Joke festival!
November 14, 2023
Hey Besties! Nicole shares how she learned some people marry objects. If Sasheer were to marry an object, it would be a chair while Nicole would marry a door.