Professor Blastoff Afterthoughts: Competition

Thirteen hours into my online Risk binge I began to realize something. My friend Luke does not know how to give up. I am not a competitive person. I just constantly find myself surrounded by competitive people, and I can’t help that!

Our guest this week was comedian Chad Daniels. We learned Chad is not a competitive comedian. He doesn’t see the point in competing with other comedians, and frankly neither do I. However, I’ve found roided out comedians usually are the funniest.

There is no better punchline indicator than a strategically timed forehead vain burst. Can you imagine the Incredible Hulk gracing the stage while holding the mic like a tooth pic between his two fat fingers, ranting about how he had to pay for 16 seats on an airplane but only got one meal? I would laugh. I’d be too scared not to.

During the gladiator days I wonder if they ever had comedy death matches, perhaps tickle fights. Saying you killed during a show wouldn’t be just a figure of speech, it would be on your resume.

We were going to show a clip about gladiators and how Christianity had to come along and put a negative spin on the sport calling it “murder,” but we ran out of time. So I thought I’d share it now as our cut clip of the week.


While watching this clip I couldn’t help but notice the option they give you to give the video a thumbs up or a thumbs down. How odd that this sort of barbaric practice still continues today. Does YouTube realize how Roman they are being? Or is this just an abstract way for us to go around the internet killing people’s confidence? For those of you who are Christian out there you had better stop thumbing people…be it up or down. Even if you’re not Christian, thumbing people just doesn’t sound right. Thumb wars are all right though, but only if they are declared properly, preceded with a count to four.

Finally I must issue an apology to David. I did some research – and by research I mean I typed a couple words into Google search – and found out I indeed played Excite Bike as a kid. I rode my real bike to the arcade to play it. Then I rode back home to play a real man’s racing game, Mario Kart.

Thanks for reading everyone, as always you can check out more of my comedy here, and for links to clips we used on the show and other Professor Blastoff extras!

Listen to Episode #33 “Competition.”