Sklarbro Extra: An Intro & The South Carolina QB Suspension Master

Friends, Romans, Sklarbro Country Men…lend me a few bucks! Seriously these forty’s aren’t going to keep buying themselves…

Welcome to the Sklarbro Country blog! I am Peter Moses, the researcher for Sklarbro Country.  Every week, I compile thousands of stories. I chisel each story onto a solid granite block. Then I carry all of them to the small cabin in the woods where Randy and Jason do all their writing. While the process can be, at times, tedious (and incredibly strenuous on my lower back), I have enjoyed every minute of watching the Brothers Sklar work their magic.

That being said the show is only 90 minutes a week. And there are so many solid granite slates left untouched! This semi-regular feature will provide a look into stories that didn’t make the cut for an episode. Plus anything else sports related needing to be shared with Sklarbro Nation and Earwolf fans.

Now before you stop reading and say to yourself, “Who is this asshole and why does he think he can just bombard my life with more sports stories?” – let me tell you a little bit about me.

I grew-up in Cleveland, Ohio.  As far back as I remember, I consumed every bit of sports I could find.  I would fall asleep listening to the Cavaliers and Indians on my Walkman radio.  I cried violently when the Indians lost the ’95 World Series. And then cried even harder when they lost it again in ’97.  I can still imitate every batting stance in the Indians’ 1995 starting lineup.  I cut-out early on my own Bar Mitzvah lunch to watch the Ohio State-Michigan game. And I will never date anyone who roots for the Steelers.

So let the fun begin!  Sklarbro Extras, like the hair on US Woman’s Soccer coach Pia Sundhage’s upper lip, will grow over time.  Keep your eyes peeling for bonus stories from Sklarbro Country!

– Peter (@DangerMoses)

South Carolina Troubled Quarterback Learns From The Best…His Coach

South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia is one of those college players who seems like he’s been playing since 2002. And for however long he’s been there, Garcia has compiled a track record that would make “Wind/Rain Maker” Pacman Jones proud.  During his career at USC, he’s been suspended from the team SIX TIMES for mostly alcohol related issues.  Here’s a quick breakdown:

Just after arriving on campus as a Freshman in 2007, Garcia was arrested and then suspended twice in a three week span. First for being drunk and walking away from a police officer, and then soon after for keying a professor’s car.

Feeling a little bored in spring of 2008, so Garcia got arrested again for alcohol related issues.  Later that same night, he was cited for pulling the fire alarm in his dorm and using the fire extinguisher.

At the 2010 Chick-Fil-A Bowl he was suspended for having women in his hotel room after lights out.  Then suspended in early 2011 for being drunk at an official SEC function.

Turns out this John Belushi-like quarterback was only practicing what was being preached to him by his quarterback coach.

G.A. Mangus, South Carolina’s quarterback coach and apparent Garcia mentor, was arrested in Greenville, SC for drunkenly peeing in the street.  He was found by two officers peeing on Main St.  If I’m doing anything illegal in Greenville, SC, I’m doing it on any street but Main St.

Should be an interesting year for South Carolina football. We’ll see if Garcia can raise his draft value…in the Sklars Fantasy Lockout League.