EP. 327 — Solo Traveler (Live From Sirius XM)

Chris [00:00:04] Hello to everybody who’s intriguing yet confused. It’s Beautiful/ Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred. Hi, everybody. Chris Gethard here. So happy to talk to you. Thanks for tuning into Beautiful/ Anonymous. It continues to be a real honor, a real joy, a real privilege to bring you this show where we take phone calls from anonymous people all over the world and we just see what happens. And that’s it. That’s the whole show. Up top I always like to plug shows. I really only have one in Jersey. I’ll be playing The Dojo of Comedy East at Tiff’s in Morris Plains. So my Morris County people, that’s July 21st. But more importantly, I want to give you a little heads up, everybody. In August I’ll be performing my new hour of comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. But guess what? We’re also doing, I think, four live Beautiful/ Anonymous tapings as part of Fringe. So to everybody who’s in Scotland and the UK and the many people from different countries all over the EU and beyond who travel to the Edinburgh Fringe, maybe come check those out too. I’ll have more info soon. All right. This episode, I’m bracing myself for the Internet’s reaction to this one, because, listen, as you can see in the title that the basics are that our caller has traveled solo a lot. We recorded this at the Sirius XM studios. If you don’t know, Earwolf has been purchased, bought out by Sirius XM. Earwolf still exists, but we’re under that new umbrella. And I went up to the Sirius studios. They got the studio is called The Fishbowl. It’s a big class thing. We had about 15 or 20 fans of the show enter, win a contest. They came. Thanks to everybody who came. It was so nice to shake hands, look you eye to eye. Realize that there’s people out there listening to the show, supporting the show. It meant so much to me. I know everything was quick and they ran the meet and greet- everybody can vouch for me- they ran this meet and greet and I was trying to have like conversations with every single person. They’d be like, hey, next person please. And I’d be like, oh, please, no, tell me more. It was fun. But all of us in that Fishbowl walked away confused by this call because our solo traveler is young and funny and also, we will get into it, there, there is temptation to say… Is there entitlement here? Is this entitlement that fits the cliché of young generations? Or is this an empowered individual who’s not apologizing for having goals and wants and desires on on a personal level? It’s an interesting one. I think it’s going to be a divisive one. I’ll ask you to remember, this community is one about niceness, so please be kind. There’s ways to be critical while still being kind. I think there’s going to be people going, yes, this is an empowered young person out in the world doing her thing. There’s going to be other people going, there’s selfishness here and I can’t abide by it. But it’s a good talk. I’ll tell you that. Enjoy. 

Voicemail Robot [00:03:22] Thank you for calling Beautiful Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host. 

Caller [00:03:30] Hi. 

Chris [00:03:31] Hi. How’s it going? 

Caller [00:03:34] Good. I have to ask, is this Chris? 

Chris [00:03:36] This is. This is Chris. It’s not just-. 

Caller [00:03:40] Hello. 

Chris [00:03:40] Hi. I’m also- so- 

Caller [00:03:42] (UNCLEAR).  

Chris [00:03:43] What’s that? 

Caller [00:03:45] Hi, New York. 

Chris [00:03:47] Yes, right. New York is here. But just so you know, it’s like 12 people in New York. It’s not like all of New York City. It’s like a very intimate- it’s just me in a weird glass room with, like, 12 people. So it’s very intimate, and everybody seems nice. You’re good. What was that? 

Caller [00:04:03] Is there windows everywhere? Windows on the ceiling? Windows everywhere? Is it a fishbowl? 

Chris [00:04:08] It actually is referred to as The Fishbowl at Sirius studios. I’m serious about that. It appears that there actually are windows on the ceiling, but they’ve been covered up by blankets. I’m not even kidding. I’m not even kidding. 

Caller [00:04:24] … Okay. 

Chris [00:04:25] All right. So how are you? What would you like to talk about today? 

Caller [00:04:31] I’m good. I’m excited. Um let’s talk about solo traveling. 

Chris [00:04:37] Let’s talk about what now? 

Caller [00:04:40] Solo traveling. 

Chris [00:04:41] Solo traveling. I like that. I’m scared to do it. 

Caller [00:04:46] I’ve done it. I just came back from a month in Europe by myself. 

Chris [00:04:49] From a whole month? 

Caller [00:04:51] Western Europe. Western. I should clarify. Not Eastern right now. 

Chris [00:04:55] Oh, yeah, right. You weren’t. You weren’t skirting, you know, I’ve- I feel bad even saying something that sounds like a joke, but you weren’t, like, traipse traipsing through war torn areas. 

Caller [00:05:06] Correct. I was on- I was in Greece, Netherlands, France, Monaco, Italy, Belgium, Germany. 

Chris [00:05:15] That’s not a bad month right there. 

Caller [00:05:22] Yes. Yes, it was totally worth it. There’s still pandemic, but I wanted to travel. 

Chris [00:05:28] And was the plan to go solo the whole time? 

Caller [00:05:32] Yeah. I had- one of my friends was like, I’ll come visit you in Paris. I was like um please don’t. I want to go by myself. I don’t want to travel with you. I mean, I’ve been to Paris before, so I could manage it. But I didn’t want to be her tour guide. 

Chris [00:05:45] Yeah. 

Caller [00:05:46] Is that mean? Is that rude? 

Chris [00:05:47] No, I mean, it’s, it’s selfish, but you’re on fucking vacation, so be selfish. Get your vacation. Make it what you want it to be. 

Caller [00:05:55] Yeah. So you can go to Paris on your own or go with someone else. I don’t want to be your tour guide. 

Chris [00:06:00] I’ve never I’ve never been. I’m kind of a I’ve had I’ve always been squeamish about travel. My wife has had to drag me out of my shell. But solo travel scares me. How much did- did you know like where you were staying and all that? Or were you were you one of these- are you one of these people who can just, like, land in Europe and figure out a month on your feet? 

Caller [00:06:19] I suppose I can, but no, I’ve planned it since last November, so I’ve been like, Oh, I’ll book an Airbnb, pay that off my credit card and the next month I’ll book the next country’s Airbnb. So I just, I kept planning it for six months, so I had the anticipation going for six months. 

Chris [00:06:37] That’s pretty, that’s pretty fun. 

Caller [00:06:41] Yeah. So the first month, the first week was in Greece, which was a retreat, so that was great. I didn’t have to do any thinking. It was like, okay, show up at this island at this time. Okay, I can do that. And then it was a retreat, so everything was taken care of. And we had a lot of free time, and during the free time I would be in the pool or I would go to the sea. Not the ocean. The sea. I remember I was in Nice, I was like, Oh, do I get an ocean wiew hotel room? She’s like, there’s no ocean here. This is a sea. Oh, sorry. Excuse me. I’m Californian. You say ocean here.

Chris [00:07:12] Yeah. Why are they so hun- They don’t like synonyms out there in Europe, huh? 

Caller [00:07:18] Not in Nice, no. So I’ve been to the Aegean Sea and the Mediterranean Sea. 

Chris [00:07:24] All right, all right. I’m jealous. I’m jealous of what you’re describing. 

Caller [00:07:32] It’s definitely- it has its drawbacks. I can tell you that so you won’t be as jealous. 

Chris [00:07:37] Yeah. Give me something here so I’m not just mad. 

Caller [00:07:43] Um my work didn’t know that I was gone for like two- I was gone for a month. 

Chris [00:07:44] Wait, what?! 

Caller [00:07:50] They know about two weeks, but they didn’t know about the other two weeks I was gone. So I lied and I was like, Oh, yeah. I’m back in America. It turns out I wasn’t back in America. I was still back- I was still in Europe. So I had to make sure that didn’t hear the European sirens because European sirens are different from American sirens. And my boss is in the Netherlands, so he’s familiar with European sirens. I had to work- I had to make sure I was logged on when I had to be for the meetings I had. And that could’ve been like at 9 p.m. over there in Europe when it’s like I dont know, 12 p.m. in California or something. 

Chris [00:08:29] So you work remotely even when you’re home, it sounds like? 

Caller [00:08:33] Correct. Correct. 

Chris [00:08:33] So you were like, Screw it. Why would they have a problem with that? If you’re getting the job done and you’re in the Netherlands, why would they be mad? 

Caller [00:08:41] They knew about the Netherlands because we have a branch out there, but they didn’t know about like France, Monaco, Italy, England about it. 

Chris [00:08:48] But if you’re doing the work, this is the thing that I feel like the modern world, right? Like if if your boss- if you’re getting the work done and you work remotely anyway, why do they care if you’re in California or if you’re in Monaco? If you got it done, you get it done. 

Caller [00:09:01] That’s what I think. But you know, how much- I think they would rather know about it versus me just doing it secretly. 

Chris [00:09:09] That’s because these employers, they want to- they they think that they- right, they think they control us. And we’re like, what? Like employers don’t realize their role in our lives is they give us money, we cash the checks, and then we go and live the actual life that we want to do. That’s how it should be. They want to control us. And you said no, thank you. I will quietly demonstrate my control by being in fucking Monaco right now. Thank you. 

Caller [00:09:35] I felt so poor in Monaco. I felt so poor. 

Chris [00:09:38] Oh, is that. Is that a real rich country? 

Caller [00:09:41] Yeah, I got one in every 10th person is like a millionaire. 

Chris [00:09:46] Ooh that sounds like a nightmare. 

Caller [00:09:47] And a bunch of billionaires own- and they, like, are running out of land to build apartments and condos and houses, so they’re building on the ocean- or excuse me, the sea, the Mediterranean Sea. 

Chris [00:10:00] So they’re actually like constructing land to build affordable housing on that floats in the sea? 

Caller [00:10:08] Mmhm. It’s not affordable. Affordable to them, not to the average Joe. I was gonna say American, but even the average European probably couldn’t afford it. It is a bunch of Russian billionaires that already bought like top floors and they’re like $850 million. 

Chris [00:10:25] That’s too much money. That’s too much money.

Caller [00:10:27] It’s like, okay. I can’t even buy a square foot of the balcony, but you can afford a whole floor on an apartment. Cool. 

Chris [00:10:35] So Monaco was intimidate- I like hearing this. Give me a rundown, like one sentence rundown of each country. So Monaco made you feel poor, brought up some class conflict in your guts. Give me some one sentence descriptions of the other-

Caller [00:10:47] Greece was relaxing because it was my actual vacation where I actually took that week off. So Greece was relaxing. Nice was nice. Nice was new. Paris was hot. London is my favorite city. 

Chris [00:11:02] London was. 

Caller [00:11:04] Yeah. I’ve been to London before, so I knew. And I saw the show Book of Mormon, so that was a good association. 

Chris [00:11:10] You went to London, you saw Book of Mormon? 

Caller [00:11:13] Yeah. Have you seen it? 

Chris [00:11:14] I saw it in New York years ago when it first opened. 

Caller [00:11:17] Right? 

Chris [00:11:18] Yeah. I had a friend who scored some tickets. Good show. Funny show. 

Caller [00:11:23] I got a tote bag so when I go grocery shopping I can look, oh, yeah, I remember this memory. 

Chris [00:11:30] Now, you know, there is something… First of all, you’re more traveled than I- just this trip alone, you are more well-traveled than I am. So who am I to judge? But there are definitely European listeners out there going, that’s very American to travel all over the world and brag about your Book of Mormon tote bag as the take away. There are definitely Europeans that right now are like, Yo, Americans need to get their priorities straight. 

Caller [00:11:57] Oh, most definitely. Especially the last few weeks. But I know you want to keep it light. No, this way, like, well, I noticed in Europe they had a lot of canvas tote bags and this one is a plastic one. So I already stand out because I’m not blending in, but at least I have a good- how often you have to go grocery shopping? Like I go every two weeks. So every two weeks I get a refresher like, Oh yeah, I was in London. Oh, yeah, I was in London. So it’s a memory. 

Chris [00:12:25] Okay. All right. That’s fair. 

Caller [00:12:27] I didn’t really buy things for myself. I did for like my family, my nieces. 

Chris [00:12:32] Mhm. 

Caller [00:12:34] Oh I did break down in Disneyland Paris. So there’s something you can be jealous of. So I did break down on a bench outside of Disneyland Paris. I was full on bawling. But I had, I had my sunglasses on and a mask on so- and I was looking down at my lap, so it’s not like you could tell I was crying cuz I don’t think my shoulders were shaking. But yeah, I had a- 

Chris [00:12:52] You had a panic attack outside of EuroDisney?

Caller [00:12:56] Um I wouldn’t say it was a panic attack. It was just more just like the overwhelmingness of solo traveling that just finally got to me and I just had to cry it out publicly in a very, very public place. 

Chris [00:13:06] What leads to that? Cuz a lot of people are romanticizing solo traveling up until this point. Now we’re 10 minutes in going, oh, you also cry on a bench outside of Disney? That there’s some drawbacks to this. So what led to all that? What led to those overwhelmed feelings? 

Caller [00:13:23] The stress of making sure I make it to my ferries, trains, airplanes. Um, and for me personally, it was like a high adrenaline and rush, like, your body’s on high alert. So, you- and then when you finally sit down, you’re like, Oh, I can take finally a breather, but like, it’s not like taking a breather, because you still have to worry about making sure the suitcase has arrived or you’ll make it to the Airbnb or the hotel on time or so, or making sure that you don’t get pickpocketed while you’re, like, trying to figure out where the exit is or something. Just so I think that’s what it was. It was just being on high alert and then my body didn’t really get a rest. And then because I was working in the evenings, I was like, my body’s not used to walking for four, five, six hours before work and getting like ten, 15,000, 20,000 steps. So I think that was also like I wasn’t giving my body enough breather, enough break. Like, Yeah, I sit down when I’m working, but it’s different because I’m still like using my brain. It’s not actual relaxing when I’m working. 

Chris [00:14:24] Yeah, I guess that is true, right? Most of us don’t structure our workday where we put in 20,000 steps and then sit down and work a full shift. That’s pretty exhausting. 

Caller [00:14:32] Yeah. 

Chris [00:14:32] So a lot of logistics and physical exhaustion makes you cry on a bench outside. And does anybody does anybody say, excuse me, are you okay? Or you were you said you were hiding it under your mask and your sunglasses. 

Caller [00:14:46] Yeah. And I wanted, like, a worker to reach out and be like, hey, are you okay? But nobody did and I just walked away and just went to a train station and went back to my hotel. Um, I think it was also nice knowing that I could be anonymous. But I was like, this isn’t the happiest place in the world right now. Like, this slogan does not work. I was so mad at Disney. This is not the happiest place. Come on. This is like the most annoying place right now. And then I know you have a family, but I was like, fuck these strollers, fuck these people, fuck this crowd. I’m over this. 

Chris [00:15:22] And we’re going to pause there. As a parent who has has pushed a stroller through crowded areas, I could say I both sympathize and understand and do laugh very hard at that. We’re going to pause right now. We’re gonna get into some ads. We’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. Thanks to our advertisers. And we’re going to go ahead now and we’re going get back to the phone call. 

Caller [00:15:49] But I was like, fuck these strollers, fuck these people, fuck this crowd. I’m over this. 

Chris [00:15:54] Now listen, I’m an open minded person and just because I have a son doesn’t mean- like, I know it can be obtrusive. But I think if you’re going to pick a place to have the strollers are annoying fight, it’s kind of on you if you’re at Disney. 

Caller [00:16:08] Right. Yeah. Like in Disneyland, California, I was so annoyed with all the strollers, so I just left my hot cocoa cup in one of the stroller cups and just walked away. And I feel bad about that. 

Chris [00:16:20] Wait, you left boiling hot drinks in a stroller? And what were you hoping to scald a kid? 

Caller [00:16:26] No, no, no. I drank all of it. But I just put my- instead of throwing away my empty cup I just left it in a stroller and just walked away. 

Chris [00:16:29] Oh, just garbage. Okay, that’s fine. Just some family had to throw out your garbage. Okay good. I’m glad to hear. I don’t think I’m the only one in the room who was briefly like, did you just try to burn a child? No? Okay, good. 

Caller [00:16:40] No, no, no, no, no. This was like during, like, a parade time so everybody was trying to, like, line up around the curb. So I just was, all right. And then I walked away. So, I don’t know. I’m sure people saw me, but I do feel bad about that. That was a few years ago. So that’s my secret. 

Chris [00:16:56] You don’t sound too torn up about it. 

Caller [00:16:57] Oh, well, that’s all right. We have our vices, and our… I know I have my things I’m great at, but patience is not one of them. And being annoyed and having little patience is definitely one of my things I should work on. 

Chris [00:17:17] Now, I’m going to, I think, probably speak for anybody listening. So you’re not a fan of kids. You’re able to go travel solo. You’re someone who’s willing to deceive your bosses. There’s people probably assuming some things about you. I’ll put them out there. You can tell me if they’re if they’re true or false. But I would think that most people, their archetype, they’re envisioning that you’re in your twenties, that you’re single. Are these facts of your life? 

Caller [00:17:47] Partially. Partially, yes, somewhat correct. I remember my sister sent me a meme from Instagram screenshot. She was like, Hey, look, I cleaned the house. It only took 2 hours. But I have kids, so that’s why I took so long. I was like, I’m glad that’s not my life. So yes, that’s correct. I don’t have any kids. Like my friend is going down to a vacation home for the 4th of July weekend and she has to pack for herself and her kids and help get the husband ready. I’m glad that’s not my life. So you are correct. I do not have kids. I actually am in my thirties. 

Chris [00:18:16] Okay. 

Caller [00:18:17] I am single. But early 30’s, I’m 31, so I guess that’s pretty much 20’s. I don’t know. Is 20 the new 30? Is 30 the new 20? I don’t know. Um, but yes, definitely solo traveling, doing my own thing, that’s why I like to be selfish. That’s my favorite thing about myself is my selfishness. 

Chris [00:18:36] That’s an amazing sentence that you just said. And kudos to you for saying it and just being honest. My favorite thing about myself is my selfishness. I feel like we all don’t give ourselves an era of life where that’s the case. I, I will say I spent a lot of time- I’ve spent most of my life worrying about other people, whether that’s their perceptions or their, their, their needs. 

Caller [00:18:58] I might have had that in my teenage years, but I was like, all right, well, well, it’s not going to get me anywhere, so and- or it started- it stemmed from like I wanted to do things and people would not be available. And I was like, fuck it. I’m just going to go. I’m just going to go to see this movie by myself. Fuck it, I want to try this restaurant by myself. So it stemmed from that. And I was like, I still want to do things thing just because people aren’t available to go with me. So now that’s what I’ve been doing for the last decade is like, maybe not the whole decade- maybe the last like six, seven years, just doing my own thing. 

Chris [00:19:29] So it sounds like, you know, there’s a part of me that when it hear when when I hear, okay, you just spent a month solo traveling, in my head, I’m going, okay, one of the questions I’m going to get to is, do you wish that you had a partner? Do you wish you had a companion, whether that was a friend or a romantic partner? 

Caller [00:19:43] Definitely, like- 

Chris [00:19:44] On these trips. 

Caller [00:19:45] Yeah. 

Chris [00:19:46] Oh, you do? Okay. Because I was gonna say, it sounds like a hard no. 

Caller [00:19:47] Yeah, especially things like Paris is like the city of love. 

Chris [00:19:50] Yeah. 

Caller [00:19:50] And like you saw all these couples so like, oh, if I was with a nice man in Paris, it could be a cute story, but for the most part it was okay because I wasn’t going in with the intention like, okay, I’m going to go to Europe, hopefully I find my husband. It’s more like, okay, I get to go to Europe and see all these new cities and countries or revisit some cities that I’ve been to. There’s more of that and more just like- I know the pandemic is still going on and still a thing, but I was just like, I want to go. I’m sick of- because I work from home, so I just stay at home. So I was like, I need to get out. And in my early twenties, I couldn’t afford it. But now that I can, I’m like, This is where my money is going to go is experiences. Like, I’m going to go watch Moulin Rouge in a few weeks. I’m gonna go watch a comedian in a month. So I’m trying to do all these things again. 

Chris [00:20:41] I like that. I like that. So but you say there is a part of you that’s kind of quietly hoping for the meet cute in Paris. There’s a part of you that hopes you’re crying on that bench and some somewhere some hot person sits down next to you and goes, like, hey, I can’t help but notice-

Caller [00:20:56] Not when I’m like crying and like bawling my eyes out. I’d I’d rather have like some Disney worker, like, comfort me. But, like, I guess-. 

Chris [00:21:01] Right. The guy dressed as Chip from Chip and Dale sits down is like, Heyyyy. 

Caller [00:21:08] Yes, that’s definitely what my fantasy is. Some guy dressed up in some character is like, hey.. 

Chris [00:21:11] This was all a furry fantasy the whole time. This was all you just trying to get Chip from Rescue Rangers in bed. I knew it. From the start of the call, I knew it. 

Caller [00:21:21] Yeah, exactly. But I’ve never been to Scotland. I know you’ve said you’ve been to Scotland, so. 

Chris [00:21:27] Yeah. 

Caller [00:21:28] Never been to Sri Lanka. You said you’ve been there? 

Chris [00:21:31] Yeah, I spent almost a month in Sri Lanka. 

Caller [00:21:33] I’ve never been to South America. 

Chris [00:21:34] I’ve been I’ve been to Brazil and Chile. But if we’re making it a contest, you’re going to win. Canada, if you’re an American, you don’t even list Canada and Mexico, right? Those don’t count. 

Caller [00:21:48] I think they count. Cuz we were so isolated as a country, because we’re such a huge country that, like, I want to get as many bragging points as I can, so heck yeah Canada and Mexico count. 

Chris [00:21:58] Okay. I’ll list mine- mine that I remember. Canada, Mexico, Italy, England, Scotland, Ireland, Chile, Brazil, Sri Lanka. I think those are all the- Dominican Republic. I think those are all the countries I’ve been to. And I’ve been to Puerto Rico, but that’s, you know, a territory. 

Caller [00:22:20] Yeah. So I’ve been to Canada, United States of America, Mexico, England, France, Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Monaco, India, China. 

Chris [00:22:34] Wow. India and China? 

Caller [00:22:37] Yeah. 

Chris [00:22:39] Cool. 

Caller [00:22:40] And I studied abroad in Paris, so I had been there before, so. 

Chris [00:22:44] That’s pretty cool. 

Caller [00:22:46] But then again, I went to France again. 

Chris [00:22:48] What was that? 

Caller [00:22:50] But then again, I went to France again on this trip. But I never had been to Nice or south of France until two weeks ago. Three weeks ago. 

Chris [00:23:00] Part of me is jealous. There’s a part of me that wishes I had gotten more of that in when I was young. If I had traveled around by myself. But yeah, it was never my thing. Too nervous. I’m like, what if I get diarrhea? What if I. What if I get sick? Who’s going to take care of me? Who’s. What if I. What if I get robbed? How do you sort that out? But those are all phantom fears. And then you travel and you just realize, like, people everywhere just want to, like, drink and laugh and eat. That’s what everyone wants to do on the globe. Like all humans everywhere are like, Oh, let’s sit down, break bread, have a drink. You wanna go do something? That’s everywhere you go, people treat you like that. Some version of it. 

Caller [00:23:36] Not that I want to get India a bad name, but I’ve had diarrhea in India. But I was with my family, so I was able to go to the pharmacy. 

Chris [00:23:42] I don’t think that gives India a bad name. I’ve had diarrhea in America. I don’t think it’s the defining characteristic of my native land. I’ve had diarrhea in many of the countries I named actually. Brazil. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, did I have diarrhea in Brazil! I don’t think that paints Brazil in a bad light. I think it tells me that I shouldn’t I was I needed to eat. I had hadn’t eaten enough and then I ate from some weird street food stand that was like the only thing open on the beach in the middle of the night. And then I got it was it was an epic tale, because me and my friend, I was in a bad place. I was in such a bad stretch. I had a friend in New York that was like, hey, this was during one of the- there are two stretches in my life where I kind of was single and one where I fell off the wagon. I’ve talked about it a lot, where I did a bunch of Molly, which I had heard was a great drug. Turns out, it is. But I had forgotten I am bad at drugs and I really screwed a whole summer on my life up. Many months of my life up. And I had a friend who was he was working in Brazil. He was like, We need to get you out of New York, come to Rio. And it was like such a good move. It was my friend, he’s a filmmaker named Antonio Campos. He had a film in a festival there. And I know I sound very fancy, but he’s a very down to earth guy. He just liked me. He liked my comedy. Still a great friend of mine to this day. And it was such a smart move because he was like, If you want to be like a partier, you can go do that in Rio as much as you are in New York right now. But if you want to chill, you can just like chill. And we were hanging out and I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go. And it was a crazy trip, man. There was like some people at the film festival found out about there’s like a Catholic sect that’s allowed to do ayahuasca there, but you had to take like a bus 4 hours into the jungle. I was like, maybe I need- I look back, I’m like, if I had taken a bus to do ayahuasca with a weird Catholic sect in the jungle, I don’t think I’d be the human I am today. I think it would have rearranged my brain in a way that would be not good. And instead what happened was I ate these nuggets from a street cart. I got diarrhea. And I had to sit on the roof of our hotel for an entire day. And about halfway through the day, I was just like, I got to get my fucking act together, man. Like, What am I talking about? I’m going to go take a bus four hours to do ayahuasca? So I got diarrhea in Brazil, and I would actually say that that was one of the better experiences I’ve had while internationally traveling. It forced me to spend a whole day just kind of relaxing and getting my act together. So, yeah, it’s certainly the fact that you got diarrhea in India does not speak ill of the country. You may have- who knows? You may have found yourself in the process. 

Caller [00:26:12] Um I was a 13 year old teenager. So I was embarrassed. I was on my period. I was annoyed with my mom. Being I was a teenager, I was embarrassed that my dad knew I was on my period. So it was just like all these other feelings besides positivity. 

Chris [00:26:26] Yeah, sure. You were just an angry teen pooping too much. That’s fair too. It’s fair too. 

Caller [00:26:33] Who’s on her period. 

Chris [00:26:34] Yeah. Yeah. 

Caller [00:26:35] And this was like my first few, like, period times. I was like, I don’t know what to do. I leaked. So. 

Chris [00:26:40] Yeah, I have to imagine not fun. Not fun, I hear. 

Caller [00:26:45] Yeah. But now, like, my parents were like, Oh, you should come with us. Like, they went to India a few weeks before I did when I went to Europe. And I was like, oh, I probably should have gone, but oh well. 

Chris [00:26:58] Now. When you take a trip like this and it’s the thing we’re talking about, it’s very interesting. It does in some sense give us a taste of the person who you are. Right? Like you’ve made it clear. I want to be young. I want to be selfish. It’s one of my favorite things about myself is my selfishness. I’m gonna go. I’m going to lie to my bosses. I’m going to make sure I get some good stuff out of life. I’m not going to play by those rules and those schedules. I’ll work at, you know, I’ll work an eight hour shift starting at 9 p.m. Monaco time, if it means I get to roam around Monaco during the day, and I don’t think that they have a right to stop me. That speaks so much to who you are. And I really like it. It does make me wonder… How how is it being that person who has those impulses went on that trip and takes those big swings the other 11 months of the year when you are in fact home and working on their schedule and playing by those rules? 

Caller [00:27:55] Um I’m going to go to my parents house for the July weekend. So technically they said I have to work from home, but it’s like, what home? My home? My parents’ home?

Chris [00:28:02] But I mean, outside of just the individual ways in which you’re gleefully taking time from your boss and still charging them, outside of that. I mean, on the more broad level, you’re someone who likes an adventure, but adventures don’t last forever for most people, right? So are you. When- do you find yourself, like, sitting around going, like, I got to get out of here? How many? How many months before you feel that restlessness again? How long does this trip put out those fires? 

Caller [00:28:28] Um, I think they’ll be good for a while, but I also just do like small things I want to do. Like I want to go see a show, so I’ll go see it. And that’ll like last me a few weeks, and then in a few weeks I’ll see another show. So I think just having some type of new experience or some type of new thing to do, I think that like scratches the itch. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in a different country. Obviously preferred, but just doing something new or something I want to do, that scratches the itch. 

Chris [00:28:57] I like that. 

Caller [00:28:59] Something small like watching a show like Moulin Rouge in a few weeks or seeing a comedian in a month. 

Chris [00:29:05] Can I ask what comedian? 

Caller [00:29:06] Or going to a concert? Um, sure. His name is Russell Peters. 

Chris [00:29:12] Oh, yeah. 

Caller [00:29:13] Have you heard of him? 

Chris [00:29:14] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he’s been crushing it for many, many years. 

Caller [00:29:20] Yeah, not that I can’t relate to your jokes. I can especially to Russell Peters because he’s Indian. I’m like, I understand that. My parents did that too. So I think that’s why I like him. But I like other comedians too. 

Chris [00:29:34] No, that’s fair. 

Caller [00:29:35] You, of course. 

Chris [00:29:37] Thanks. No, I’m a lot of people’s third or fourth favorite comedians. I’m I have reconciled this over the years. I’m this is far from the first time someone has been on a show of mine and informed me that I am, in fact, not their cup of tea. It’s totally okay. Totally okay. 

Caller [00:29:55] You are my cup of tea. I called in to your podcast show that you thought was just going to be a fluke and is still going on after six years. 

Chris [00:30:02] Oh, no, I know. I’m just kidding around. I just like a good self-deprecating one. Now, here’s a double edged question. 

Caller [00:30:12] Go for it. 

Chris [00:30:14] So you mentioned that your, your parents are from India or travel back to India. 

Caller [00:30:20] They are from India but they traveled back a few weeks before, about a month and a half ago. 

Chris [00:30:25] Now, let me ask you this. Right? One. Traveling as an American, you always run into people who have opinions on that. So I’m wondering what it’s been like to travel as an American in the last month, because you’ve you happen to have been traveling as a lot of massive things have been happening. So I want to hear about that. I also want to hear about- and I want to phrase this- I am- I am- one of the things that gives me hope about this country is that you get to walk around and, you know, living in a place like North Jersey, hanging out in a place like Manhattan, New York today, you know, I got off the train at Penn Station and you walk 15 blocks and I walked past every type of human being on planet Earth, hanging out in one place. And I’m like, Fuck yeah, New York is still cool. This is why I love this country. You know, I do have to say, being in the suburbs lately, this is a little bit of a tangent, being in the suburbs lately, you know, just reading the news and feeling so grim and feeling like in such a pressure cooker. I’m glad I got to walk around New York City this morning and remind myself like, oh, right. There are so many places in this country where it’s just everybody gets together, hangs out, gets along, does their thing, stays out of each other’s way, and even more so connects with each other. And we look different, act different, believe different things, and fuck yeah, New York City. It gave me hope. That being said, you’re traveling as an American. I want to hear. I want to hear how that’s been. I also want to hear, being of someone of Indian descent, I have to imagine there might be times where maybe you are encountering people in Europe who don’t assume off the bat that you are American. And it almost I almost wonder if you get to be a fly on the wall a little bit, because people think, I have to imagine European travelers think American and they they maybe think of the ugly American, right? Like your, you know, you hear about the- I love your snicker, right there. Very revealing. But right? You tend to think of like the loud, obnoxious white family who’s who’s kind of taking up all the oxygen in the room. That’s the stereotype that I think a lot of people might think. And it doesn’t sound like that is how that doesn’t sound like it’s you. So I’m wondering about those things. 

Caller [00:32:48] Um because I obviously look Indian, people confused me and thought I was from Spain. Because they would speak to me in French and trying to process what they’re saying. So I kind of look like I have a blank look on my face. They’re like, Oh, do you need me to speak Spanish to you? I was like, you can. I can understand Spanish more than French. But it was more just being confused being from Spain. Because I think that’s where they are like, oh, someone who has black hair, darker skin automatically is from Spain. But like, there’s other countries in Europe. But not only that but I think when I was in Netherlands, I was visiting with my two friends who had studied abroad in America and we just kept in contact. They were saying like, what is going on with America? And I was like, you and me both. Like, I don’t even want to be part of America anymore. I kind of want to renounce my citizenship and I want to be an EU citizen, but I won’t renounce it. And I know my parents worked hard for me to become a citizen of this country. But they were just like, What is going on with America? And I was like, okay, so in the Netherlands, are you guys allowed to have this? Or what (UNCLEAR) like just hearing their viewpoint on abortion, about child care, about like housing. I was like, oh, this is what a real country’s supposed to be like. And like there’s good parts to America, but there’s definitely worse parts now. And those were being highlighted in the last few weeks. So one of my friends even asked me, she was like, okay, so what if you meet your Mr. Right in the Netherlands? Would you move here? I was like, yeah, he he will be Mr. Right, especially if he doesn’t want kids. So yeah, I definitely would move to the Netherlands, but I’m just a big baby when it comes to cold because I’m Californian and I live in L.A., I live in Southern California, and we have 75 degree weather pretty much all year long. So I’m like, I don’t know how to deal with cold. I don’t know how to deal with snow. I don’t know how to deal with having more than one layer of a cardigan or a light jacket. So, like, that I’m not used to. What was your other question? Like oh, I think they like could tell I was a tourist. I don’t know if they could tell I was necessarily American, because when I was on the metro in Paris, only the tourists were really wearing masks. And Parisians seem like they weren’t wearing masks. So but I think everyone just kept to themselves on the metro, so it wasn’t like they were like, Oh, who are you to wear a mask? So people were just on their phones scrolling so it wasn’t like people were having conversations. Um, and then on the touristy parts of Paris, people didn’t care. They were like, oh it’s tourists. People were wearing masks or not wearing masks. Um, and then since I was doing solo travel, I just kept to myself. It wasn’t like I was like, or if I was at a restaurant, people wouldn’t come up to me like, Oh, why are you eating by yourself. It was just like they probably noticed it, but they didn’t like ask me to my face. They probably talked amongst themselves. So not many people brought it up that I was American. It was more brought up when I like came back to America and had to go through customs. It was like, Do you have anything to declare? No? Okay, welcome home. So it was just like that. So being American wasn’t really brought up unless I was talking with my friends in the Netherlands. Because were talking about like, oh, what’s going on with the gun laws and the abortion laws and Roe vs. Wade and just things like that. 

Chris [00:36:07] It’s really sad to hear you say, you know, you have the instinct to renounce your citizenship, but your parents sacrificed so much for it. That’s, that’s a hard I mean yeah for me it was my grandparents on my mom’s side. And you sit there you go oh, wow. 

Caller [00:36:24] Yeah because I don’t feel like we’re the United States of America. I just feel like we’re just America now. Like, I want to be united. Like, even though I didn’t care for Bush being president, at least the country came together.  

Chris [00:36:35] Just feels like America. That’s pretty wise. Pretty wise words. There might be some people going back and forth on this caller, but I don’t think many of us can argue with that. Hey, we got ads. We’re going to get them out of the way. We’ll be right back. All right. Thanks to the advertisers who help this show happen. Now, let’s finish off the phone call. 

Caller [00:37:00] Because I don’t feel like we’re the United States of America. I just feel like we’re just America now. Like, I want to be united. Like, even though I didn’t care for Bush being president, at least the country came together. Unfortunately, because of 9/11. But the country still came together and put the differences aside. Like law were able to pass on both sides. Now it’s just like you vs. them or them vs. you.  So it’s just I just feel like, where are we going as a country? I don’t have much hope. They say the youth is the one who has the most hope. But I’m like, I don’t have hope for the country at the moment. Maybe in a few weeks. But like right now I’m just like, fuck. 

Chris [00:37:42] That is really, I mean, just hearing these things, and it’s so honest that I’m not- there’s no part of me that is upset. There’s a I just kind of just nod my head and go, I get it. But to hear you go, like, Yeah, I hate kids and I have no hope and I cry outside of Disneyland. I’m like, Yeah, I get all of that. I get all of that. 

Caller [00:38:03] Yeah. Like, luckily, it doesn’t matter that I’m in a blue state, but… What about like all the people in non blue states or states that are banning abortions overnight? Like I cried when I read the headline like, well, it’s overturned. But I know we’re trying to keep it light. So how’s your day going? It’s 12:00 in the afternoon? 

Chris [00:38:23] I brought it up. I brought it up. If you were to renounce your citizenship and you were able to get EU citizenship, I have it, but I’m an EU citizen, by the way, so I can be out. So I need your advice. Out of all the countries you visited, where’s the one where you’d like, you know, it sounds like you’re like, Greece was so relaxing because that was my real vacation. But I haven’t heard the, you know, Monaco, it sounds like this would be a no because you said billionaires own even the shittiest of apartments. What’s the place where you’re like, If I had to live in one of the places I visited, like long term had to live there, here’s where I live? 

Caller [00:39:00] Either Nice or London. And I know like this is going to sound dumb, like, but in London they speak English. I can understand most of it. There’s some like slang words like like the taxi driver would tell me. I’m like, I don’t know what you’re saying. I’ll just smile and nod. But in Nice they speak French and I used to speak French, but I lost it since I don’t practice it anymore. So I was still able to get by. So I think being by like a body of water is really important to me. That’s why I left Southern- coastal Southern California. So I can but I’m like, it’s my home. I’ve lived in California all my life, different parts of California, but I want to be near a big body of water. And so either Nice or London I but then I like I’m like, okay, Australia sounds cool. I’ve never been to Australia but like. 

Chris [00:39:51] Yeah me neither. I gotta get out there. Gotta get out to Perth. 

Caller [00:39:54] I have this idealized version view of Australia. 

Chris [00:39:58] Now see I tell you what, I love London, I’ve loved visiting London. I think I’m going to go to London later this year, I hope. But I couldn’t live there. I felt like that city made New York look chill. And I lived in New York for 16 years and I was stressed out the whole time. It’s like New York- I was just before saying, like, New York. I get to walk around. It’s the best. I’m like, I also remember what it was like to have a stroller on a subway platform and just feel people wishing death upon me. I’m like, all I did was have a child. Please, please. You know so but I feel like London moves at a pace that makes New York look- 

Caller [00:40:30] And I think I like it because like there’s not- California’s not known for its public transportation. Like I like the underground, even though- 

Chris [00:40:39] Here’s what I like about- you’re like pointing out oh yeah people on the people on the metro in Paris, they just looked at their phones. Leave you alone. London is a place for someone who’s like, I leave garbage in baby strollers and I love my selfishness. Like, London moves at a pace where I bet you’re like, Yeah, you don’t have to slow down for anybody else, and we don’t have to. None of this, none of that. I don’t ever have to walk behind anyone slow in London. I can get where I’m going. Get out of my way! There’s a tote bag to be had! Like you can. You can just go. London wants to move, man. And I like it. But I could not- I could not- maybe when I was younger. But now at this stage of my life, I feel like it would just chew me up and spit me out. 

Caller [00:41:17] Yeah. Like when I drive to my parents house and I don’t know if you’re familiar with California geography, but there’s just one freeway called the Five Freeway. And part of it is just like no visual stimulation. I’m like, wow, look at this land. Like, I would like that. It’s like I live in a huge city, so it’s a concrete jungle. So I’m like, Would I want to settle down in London? I don’t know cuz like I like seeing open land and greenery. There’s not much greenery here in California because of the drought. So I definitely saw a lot of greenery in the Netherlands and Germany. It’s very, very it’s so green. Like, it blew me away. I was like, wow, this is what trees are supposed to look like. Oh, this is what hillsides are supposed to look like. Not brown and brick, but green and thriving. 

Chris [00:42:05] I want- we have 23 minutes left. I wonder if we can find a way. Okay. I have a couple things I want to do. I want to talk to you a little bit. You said you would love to find a partner, especially if they also do not want children. I wonder how that. 

Caller [00:42:19] Yeah, I definitely want like I like I would, it’s not ideal but like if they have a child from a previous situationship, relationship, marriage, I guess it’s doable, but it’s not ideal. Especially being in my thirties, like a lot of people have gotten married and gotten divorced so maybe kids came out of that. So I try not to I keep the net really narrow. Whatever’s out there. 

Chris [00:42:48] I have to imagine too, like if you date someone who has kids from a prior marriage and you sit down and they’re telling you that and your response is like, I guess that’s doable. I don’t know that they’re- I don’t know that they’re like, I am on board with that. Most people with kids who heard that would be like, That is a bit, right? It sounds more like the single type. Does that make it now that you’ve entered your thirties there- I bet there are some people who are going, I’m starting to think more long term about family stuff. It sounds like you’re pretty locked in. It doesn’t seem like there’s much wiggle room for you here. 

Caller [00:43:20] Yeah, especially because I’m in America. Like I was telling the friend in the Netherlands, I was like, maybe I’d have kids if it was like in a different country, but like, this country does not help you out with kids. It’s really hard to have kids here. But like if I was in like the Netherlands or with some nice daycare, maybe that’s a consideration, but it’s just so expensive. I’m just like, I want to spend my money on myself rather than like being like, oh do I work or have a child? Do I have daycare? Like do I work just to have daycare? So there’s more things in place here because of my location, especially being in California, my cost of living is definitely higher than other parts of the country. 

Chris [00:43:59] It is. You read all these studies of like, Oh, millennials aren’t having as many kids, gen-z aren’t having any kids. And then, you know, all the sociologists are like, why is that? And then when you scratch right under the surface it’s like, Oh, because they’re financial planning. It’s a lot of it comes down to just like, they’re smart and they’re like, well, we can’t afford homes. So if I can’t have if I can’t have a mortgage, it also seems like a kid is very expensive and we got to find some way out. So we’ll hold off on having kids. Like a lot of what you read is that it just comes down to that. It’s people going, like, no. Doing long term planning, it’s not economically viable to have kids, which is terrifying and sad. It is. Okay. I want to okay 21 minutes left. Before you said something that’s bumming me out and it’s sticking in my head it’s you going, I can’t even find reasons to have hope. So maybe in 20 minutes. 20 minutes. You think we can find hope in 20 minutes? 

Caller [00:44:55] Yeah. There’s definitely a lot of good in the world. 

Chris [00:44:57] Tell me about this. Book of Mormon. Book of Mormon was pretty great. Russell Peters is going to crush it. There’s some good in the world. 

Caller [00:45:06] I live 10 minutes away from my happy place, which is the beach. So, like, I can always just go there and just reset my soul. I was able to travel for a month and still be able to pay rent. So like I know, like, I’m in a very fortunate financial situation. Um, if anything, like I have my parents. My parents’ support. It’s like if I ever need money, I can like dip into my parents bank. Like I have resources. And my mom watches my sister’s kids. So like I know if I do have kids, logistically, my mom will be there to watch my kids. I would just have to move closer to be with my parents versus my where my sister and my parents live, versus where I live. Their children like I love my nieces. Like I love seeing them just like playing with their Play-Doh. I’m just like, that makes me so happy. There’s good food. Like I’ve had such good food. Like I eat fast food here in America, but like when I was in Greece, I didn’t even crave it. I didn’t miss it. It was just so fresh. And I was like, wow. Like this made me really think about, like, what I put in my body. Like Americans- most Americans don’t care about what they’re eating, they just want food. Whereas the Europeans, they take their time, have good food. It made me like have more appreciation for food rather than just like shoveling food into my mouth. I made all these new memories in different countries. That was great to have. So there’s all these things to be hopeful for and be appreciative of. And I feel that like, maybe not politically, things are going where I want them to. But I fortunately, live in a state that’s blue that aligns with my values. So like, I don’t want to say just because I know other states are suffering, but like my day to day is okay. And I know that’s a selfish thing to say, but that’s how I feel. 

Chris [00:47:06] So you can still enjoy the beach and a good meal. And in the immediate day to day, hour to hour stuff, you can find pleasure, you can find stimulation, even if in the broad strokes you have very little hope for the direction of the nation. 

Caller [00:47:22] Correct. 

Chris [00:47:24] I guess that’s a realistic splash of cold water. Yeah, that’s fair. 

Caller [00:47:29] I’m proud that I have a masters. Like, my grandmother was like an element- she like her education stoped in elementary level. And in just like two generations you can see like, well, my dad has a masters too, but you can see just how how much of a difference a generation makes. Like my dad got his masters, which is his mom just stopped at elementary level. So like that makes you proud to be like, look, like this woman can do things. Hear me roar. 

Chris [00:47:53] What’s your master’s in? 

Caller [00:47:55] And like that I can brag about Europe. I’m sorry?

Chris [00:47:57] What’s your masters in? 

Caller [00:48:01] Organizational leadership. So I can be a bad ass boss bitch.

Chris [00:48:06] Wait, I, I heard you say you can be a bad ass boss bitch. I didn’t. I believe. I hope that’s what you said. If not, I just misquoted you terribly. But what was the actual degree in? 

Caller [00:48:14] No, that’s what I said. Organizational leadership. So if I want to be a CFO one day, I know how to lead a team. 

Chris [00:48:23] Wow. That’s pretty cool. So you went and got a masters on how to be a boss? 

Caller [00:48:33] Yes. 

Chris [00:48:34] If your employees- if you found out employees of yours were unauthorized in Monaco without telling you, how would you react? As a boss. 

Caller [00:48:43] I’d be like, alright. As long as you get your work done, I don’t care. Long as you show up to the meetings and do all the required stuff, I don’t care. 

Chris [00:48:49] I like that. I like that. 

Caller [00:48:51] You’ve proven that you’ve done your work, that’s all I need. As long as you can get the stuff I need done, I don’t care where it comes from, where you are physically. 

Chris [00:49:00] What’s the stuff you learned getting, getting, getting, getting a master’s degree on how to be a CFO, what’s this- is there stuff you learn about human nature and how to motivate people that speaks to us in a way that I might not know as someone who just goes through my day living and bumping into walls and then going to bed at night? 

Caller [00:49:22] There’s different types of leadership. So that’s big for me. What do you think about your followers and think about what their needs are? There could be like situational leadership, where you can be a certain type of leader in certain situations and in other situations you have to be a different type. So you just learn what type of leadership you are and then like how you can, how you can, like make that happen. 

Chris [00:49:52] I’m not going to lie, my friend. I find myself… There’s… 

Caller [00:50:01] What’s the word? What was the adjective you were going to use? 

Chris [00:50:04] Confused. Because there is a part of me that’s like… You’re like… I want to go out… 

Caller [00:50:13] I would rather you rather have used the word intriguing, but we’ll go with confused. 

Chris [00:50:18] Intriguing is certainly fair. It’s certainly fair. Well, to hear you say, like there’s been a lot of things you say today that hit the check point for like, why, right? You’re very, very unapologetic and charming about it. And I really like it. And but it’s funny because there’s also probably people listening who are from older generations going, This sounds like a person who is maybe- if I made a-. 

Caller [00:50:44] Entitled? 

Chris [00:50:46] Well, there might be people who use that word, but you’re not coming off entitled. But you can see how some of the- 

Caller [00:50:52] I’ve lived a privileged life? 

Chris [00:50:54] Like you go and like if worst comes to worst, my parents will give me money. I like tricking my bosses. I don’t want kids. There are people who could listen and go, this is an example of a young generation that maybe does feel entitled. But then there’s also ways in which you’re explaining it where I go, right, people should feel entitled to things that they think they deserve and to aspirations that they want and lifestyle that they want and choices that they want. But there’s going to be people who go, You sound a little entitled. There’s going to be people saying it. But I think you’re owning it really hard, too. And that is the confusing slash yes, intriguing part. 

Caller [00:51:33] Yeah. I’m okay with the adjective entitled. I’d rather have that than like, I don’t know. I can’t think of a negative one right now, but I’ll think of one when I’m brushing my teeth tonight. 

Chris [00:51:44] Well, it’s funny, right? Because I feel like you’re going, yeah, I want to go see shows. I want to go do shit. I don’t want kids to get in the way. I get mad when they do. I’ll dip into my parents’ funds if I have to run out of money. I could do that. I understand that. I want to go lay on the beach. I want to eat good food. But it sort of sounds like there is some element to which it’s like, I’d rather be entitled and own who I am and what I want than not be labeled entitled and just be complacent with a system that doesn’t work for me at all, if that makes sense. 

Caller [00:52:13] Right. I want to be just content with my life. Nothing wrong with that. That’s okay with that. That’s just not who I am. Other people can. I want to make sure. 

Chris [00:52:22] You’re kind of convincing me that being selfish and entitled are not necessarily bad things. 

Caller [00:52:28] They’re not. 

Chris [00:52:28] That maybe they can serve the greater purpose, a greater purpose of going, Yeah, I’d rather do that than like working 9 to 5 and stress all day about it when I don’t even really give a shit about it. Like, I’d rather come off as selfish than just settling for a system that’s leading to a bunch of societal stuff that I don’t agree with or like anyway. I don’t know if I’m putting those words in your mouth, but that is- it is very intriguing. 

Caller [00:52:52] The vibe that you’re getting? 

Chris [00:52:54] Yeah. 

Caller [00:52:55] That’s the vibe that you picked up? Okay, I like that. That’s a good vibe. 

Chris [00:53:00] Like there’s a part of me that feels like if I called you entitled you would be like, All right, cool, fuck off. I’ll be at the beach if you need me. And I’d like, but that’s the most entitled thing of all! But God damn do I respect it! Like, that’s the confusing part. I don’t think you care. And in a very healthy way. 

Caller [00:53:17] No. There’s things I do, but that’s not one of them. There’s other things to worry about. But it’s just like, eh, whatever. 

Chris [00:53:22] Hehe, I like that. I like that. 

Caller [00:53:27] I only have so much mental capacity so there are things that don’t make the list. I’m like I like I understand there’s people who are anxious or I personally don’t understand that. I’ve had a little bit of anxiety because of the pandemic, but most of the time I’m just like, I don’t understand why how you can ruminate over that when there’s- just just be in the moment and be at the beach or wherever. Or, I don’t know. What’s the beach vision for you guys in New York, Central Park? Is too touristy? I don’t know. 

Chris [00:53:52] What would be the version of, like, I’m just going to take some time- well, no, we got the Rockaways. That’s where the hipsters go. We got the beach. You got the Rockaways. And if you live in Brooklyn, they got these cool- at least they did a few years ago when I still live here, they got these, like shuttles where you sign up for you buy a bus ticket and they give you like a beer on the way out to the Rockaways. So we got a beach. We got a few beaches. 

Caller [00:54:12] Yeah. Mmhm. The Hamptons. 

Chris [00:54:16] The Hamptons. Oh, my God! That is where- I will tell you- there even a couple of people in room here now shaking their head going, that is- to drop the Hamptons. 

Caller [00:54:27] That’s what I think about when I think about the New York coastline is the Hamptons. Or like Jersey Shore in Jersey, so I’m not too familiar with different beaches. 

Chris [00:54:35] When you drop the Hamptons, that is when you start to tread into being almost a villain. I will warn you. I will warn you. 

Caller [00:54:43] That’s my villain story that I dropped the rich and famous Hamptons? Okay, that’s not bad. 

Chris [00:54:51] You really don’t give a shit! 

Caller [00:54:58] Not about that, no. 

Chris [00:55:00] I like it. I like it. And meanwhile I’m looking to my left and there’s an image of Bruce Springsteen, working class hero, up on the wall. 

Caller [00:55:10] He’s from New Jersey, right? 

Chris [00:55:11] Yeah. Big time. 

Caller [00:55:13] I know one of his songs. Fire one. 

Chris [00:55:17] What’s the song that you know by Bruce? 

Caller [00:55:20] Um the Fire one. Oh, like is your- hey girl. Is your father home? Something like that? 

Chris [00:55:26] (SINGS) Oh oh oh, I’m on fire. That one. I hear ya. That’s a pretty good one. Hey, when you’re traveling, do you, like when you’re traveling alone, do you just keep it solitary and do all solo stuff? Or are you looking to, like, meet up with someone, have a have a random drink, have a random meal, find another solo traveler, have an experience that only lasts for a day? Or is it more about I’m going to go do some soul searching on my own and enjoy things? 

Caller [00:55:52] More of the latter one. I wasn’t looking to like since this was my first time solo traveling, I was like, oh let me see if I can do it. Now that I know I can do it, maybe I’ll turn on my dating apps and be like, Hey, I’m in Paris for a week or something or Hey, I’m going to be in here. But that time I just wanted to see if I can actually make it through. 

Chris [00:56:11] Yeah. This one was more about you. 

Caller [00:56:14] Mm hmm. 

Chris [00:56:16] I think I’ve mentioned this on the show before. I have a friend who went and went all over France and beforehand set up dates with the dating apps. And I was like, she was telling me about it and I was laughing and I was like, she’s like, such a delight. She’s an artist friend of mine. Delightfully just does her own thing. I was like, Isn’t there any part of you that feels like, man, like you’re advertising that you’re like, in from out of town, you’re an American. People are going to take advantage of you. She’s like, Them take advantage of me? She’s like, I’m getting free tour guides who are going to buy me dinner every night of this trip. I was like, That’s pretty bad ass. That’s pretty bad ass when you think about it that way.  

Caller [00:56:52] That’s what my friend did. She went to New York for a week and then so she was on dating apps and so she was like, What’s your favorite restaurant? Take me there. So she got to find out locals’ favorite restaurants. I was just too scared that people were going to take advantage of me to be like, that like, hey, like I, like you said, I was advertising I’m alone by myself in this Airbnb. So I was more worried about that, but it was more just to see if I can do it. But now that I have done it, maybe I would? But I’m still too cautious that I might be taking advantage of. I’m sure there’s great people, but it’s still a fear, I think, especially for females. 

Chris [00:57:29] Of course. 

Caller [00:57:30] No that males can’t have that. But in our society I feel like it’s more prominent females have that fear. 

Chris [00:57:36] Yeah, I mean, anytime you travel, you have to be safe and smart and watch your own back. Although I do applaud people who come to New York and say, take me to your favorite restaurant, just appealing to the horniness of New York dudes. Like, buy me some dope food. Show me where- show me the places I need to go. I do think it’s if I think up being upfront and honest about that, it does make me laugh that that is a travel slash dating strategy. I think that’s kudos to those who can pull it off. 

Caller [00:58:05] Yes. I always make sure they take me to a vegetarian restaurant. I’m like, I don’t eat a lot of meat. 

Chris [00:58:11] Fair. 

Caller [00:58:12] I really do mainly go with the vegetarian fare. Like I was able to survive in Greece, even though they like our seafood heavy. 

Chris [00:58:18] Yeah. That’s good. I do like right that right there on the dating apps, like, if you have your own kids, I guess that’s okay. I’m a vegetarian. There’s some people right there who are like, oh, Jesus Christ, this is that’s tough. That’s tough. And I say that as a vegetarian, who knows that it can sometimes make other people not have the most fun on a night out. 

Caller [00:58:38] I don’t care if someone who I’m dating is not a vegetarian. I just wanna make sure there’s options for me to eat. 

Chris [00:58:43] You really- I you are unapologetically out for you. You’re like, they can do what they want. I need my shit. I need my stuff handled. 

Caller [00:58:55] Yeah. I want to make sure I can eat. 

Chris [00:58:57] Where does that come from, this confidence? As someone who’s never seen confident a day in my life, where do you find it? 

Caller [00:59:06] Being the youngest, so I always have to constantly prove myself to my siblings, my parents. 

Chris [00:59:12] How many siblings do you have? 

Caller [00:59:15] Three. Two sisters and a brother. 

Chris [00:59:18] So your whole life was just kind of like, hey, I need to make some noise and grab some stuff for me, because if I don’t, I won’t get any? 

Caller [00:59:26] No, not necessarily. But like, my mom has a viewpoint that, like, boys are the preferred sex. So I’d always be like, Well, if he can do it, I can do it too. So it was more just like proving myself against my brother, even though he was never competitive. It was more just with me having that streak. Like you’re giving him attention when he does this. I can show you that I can do it too. 

Chris [00:59:45] I like another confusing layer of your entitlement. Now it’s feminist and we have to agree with it again. God damn it, none of us know what to think. No, I do appreciate that. I do appreciate hearing that that you had a brother who was preferred and you were like, not fuck that. And that created this some of this contrarian streak that I think that’s cool. 

Caller [01:00:07] Yeah. That’s what my master’s thesis capstone was on. It was like women in corporate America and how they can fight gender bias. 

Chris [01:00:16] And how do you plan on doing so? How are you going to are you getting into the corporate world? You seem like someone who might go… Maybe I’ll take a few years where I’ll prioritize less the beach and the travel, and I’ll just take a few years to dominate some some company and rise up the ranks until I control it just to show that I can. Like I get the sense you might have that in you too. 

Caller [01:00:38] That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I have not done that yet. 

Chris [01:00:42] That response was terrifying. That wouldn’t be a bad idea. What’s the plan? What’s the plan for the next few years? 

Caller [01:00:50] Travel. Maybe find a husband? But that’s not a top priority. If it happens, it happens. I live with a roommate, so eventually move out on my own. Those are just top three plans. 

Chris [01:01:04] Okay. Those are the simple short term ones. 

Caller [01:01:06] Set up generational wealth for my nieces. I don’t know. Set up their college funds. Hopefully have enough money for their trust funds.  

Chris [01:01:13] Look at you! That’s the part that’s confusing. I’m like, so what are the plans? You’re like, you know, I live with roommates, so I want my own place. Also, I’m going to find generational wealth. And then you just try to move on like you didn’t just say like a supervillain-esque thing. Where are you going to find generational wealth?

Caller [01:01:28] Providing for my nieces? That’s not- Like, I don’t know, set up a trust fund now so by the time they have access to it, they have a little bit of money so they won’t have to struggle in their twenties or thirties. 

Chris [01:01:38] Yeah, I like that. 

Caller [01:01:39] Or set up a college fund so if they go to college, at least some of it could be covered. 

Chris [01:01:46] Okay, so simple and practical things. I thought, okay, I just like how you slip in the phrase generational wealth. I want my own place, and generational wealth. 

Caller [01:01:58] Yeah. What would you have called it? Like set up money accounts for your nephew. Besides your son. I know you’ll always have to set up for him. Like, for your nephew. Like what would you- was it niece? I’m sorry. I know your brother has a kid. 

Chris [01:02:10] My, my, my. I have a nephew. I have. Well, let’s see. On my brother’s side I have a nephew and then my wife through them, we have a niece and nephew. And yes, we are trying to set up dominant long term generational wealth so that they can vanquish their foes and leave their bones on the shores of the beach where we sunbathe. Let my enemies’ bones litter the shores of the Hamptons, where my family shall dominate for generations to come!

Caller [01:02:37] Hey, no littering. 

Chris [01:02:41] I like that that’s your problem with it. No, you put your you put your enemies’ bones in a trophy case. You don’t litter. You you sip wine from their skulls. You don’t litter. Don’t leave them laying around on the ground. 

Caller [01:02:56] I’m not a drinker, so I guess somebody else can drink the wine. I wouldn’t, but sure. 

Chris [01:02:59] I’m also not a drinker. I was making a joke. You can drink whatever you want. You can pour Capri Sun out into it.  

Caller [01:03:07] I’m drinking coconut water as we speak. 

Chris [01:03:09] Drink coconut water out of the skulls of your enemies. As your nieces dance upon the shores of the Hamptons. 

Caller [01:03:19] Have you been in the Hamptons? I’ve never been. 

Chris [01:03:21] I’ve been to the Hamptons in the sense that I have driven to the outer tip of Long Island. I’ve never been to the Hamptons in the sense that I’ve never participated in like the types of stuff I imagine people do there, which is like wear all white clothes and play polo and shit like that. I’ve never done that because I’m-. 

Caller [01:03:39] And wear boat shoes. 

Chris [01:03:40] Yeah, because I’m from like a borderline white trash neighborhood in North Jersey. And I would just honestly, between the sun and my and my anxiety would probably burst into flames. I’m much more of a Jersey Shore person myself, which is, you know, eating fried dough and staying out all night. But that’s also on my that is also due to my own insecurities and anxiety. And I should pipe down, cuz I’m sure there’s kind enough people in the Hamptons. It’s just never my thing. But yes, I’ve been out there. I have stepped foot on the landmass known as Long Island and the sections labeled Hamptons. 

Caller [01:04:18] Okay. That’s cool. So the part that you went to, you didn’t really see like… What did you see on that part that you were there? 

Chris [01:04:31] I ate some seafood. I did once stay with someone, my wife had a friend who her family had a house out there. We swam in a pool. But yeah, I’m not a Hamptons guy. Anybody in this room can tell you the idea of me existing in the societal fabric of the Hamptons is like a laughable thought, a laughable thought that would be painful for all parties. But yeah, they have beaches. I saw a beach. I think I rode a bike near a beach in the Hamptons. I’ve been to the Hamptons in that sense. I could tell you a lot about the Jersey Shore. 

Caller [01:05:04] I’m not a big fan of bike riding but that sounds fun. I’ve done a bike ride in San Diego and it was not my cup of tea. 

Chris [01:05:10] That’s fair. Hey, we’ve got less than one minute left. Is there anything else you want to put on record, my intriguing and confusing friend? 

Caller [01:05:18] Um what’s my episode going to be called? 

Chris [01:05:21] Oh, don’t make me do that. I don’t know. I don’t know. What would you like it to be? I feel like you’re the type of person who would rather tell me what to call it than ask this question. What would you call it? 

Caller [01:05:34] Intriguing yet confused. In the Hamptons.

Chris [01:05:36] Intriguing yet confused. Not confusing? 

Caller [01:05:43] Yeah. 

Chris [01:05:44] That’s fair. Well, I want to thank you. Thanks for telling us about your adventures and where the impulse comes from and all the many layers of of who you are that lead to this. It was a good conversation. I thank you for having it. 

Caller [01:05:58] Thanks for taking my call. Have a great rest of your day. 

Chris [01:06:00] You too. What are you doing the rest of the day? 

Caller [01:06:04] Working. 

Chris [01:06:05] Oh, I was hoping you were going to say beach. I was hoping you were going to say, like, setting up a green screen so my boss thinks I’m there and then chilling on the beach. 

Caller [01:06:14] I’ll go to the beach afterwards. I get off at two my 2 p.m.. Your five. 

Chris [01:06:20] You got something figured out and I really like it. Thank you so much for talking today. 

Caller [01:06:25] Bye! 

Chris [01:06:31] Caller, thanks for calling. May your solo journeys continue to to fulfill you. May you find that partner who’s willing to work within your strict parameters. May you find happiness and joy and enjoy the beach as you continue to grow, figure out yourself in the world. That’s what we’re all doing out here. Thanks for calling. This show is produced by Anita Flores. It’s engineered by Ryan Connor. Also have to thank everybody at Sirius XM Studios for their help, including Jared O’Connell. It was great to see Jared in person that day. Hey, our theme song is by ShellShag. You can go to ChrisGeth.com if you want to know more about me, including tour dates coming up. Wherever you’re listening, hit Subscribe, Favorite, Follow. It really helps when you do. And you can find our latest merch at PodSwag.com. We got mugs and shirts and posters and more. Find ad free episodes of Beautiful/ Anonymous, WTF with Marc Maron and more of your favorite shows over on Stitcher Premium. Use the promo code “stories” for one month free. Stitcher dot com slash premium.