EP. S2E56 — 90 Day Fiancé Secrets w/ Kenny Niedermeier, Armando Rubio & Tyray Mollett

Kenny Niedermeier [00:00:05] You know, there are so many people out there still that just visualize, like, a gay couple riding on a parade float, bumping, and grinding all the time. And it’s not like that because we did have a lot of people that brought up about how they didn’t think their son would ever be able to have a normal life. And they saw us. They said, “You know what? They can have a normal life.” And they would sit down with their son and watch the show. And so, it really, really does our heart good. And that’s why I think we continue to do this show–I think we have made an impact on some people and a positive impact.

Ashley Ray [00:00:47] Welcome to TV. I say with Ashley Ray, your go-to podcasts for discovering what to watch on TV and getting behind the scenes insight from the people who make the shows you love. Today’s show is all about 90 Day Fiancé. That was a little taste of my chat with Kenny and Armando from 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way. And we’re going to get into a lot more with them. What couples are they bonding with this season? What did they think of that Gino and Jasmine golden shower scene? We’ll talk about it. I’ll also be talking with Tyray Mollett, who became a fan favorite on 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days. What was up with that meet up with the real Carmella? Oh, my goodness. Has he found real love since? What has his whole reality experience been like? Well, we’re going to talk about that, too. For now, enjoy listening to my conversation with Kenny Niedermeier and Armando Rubio, where we talk about all things 90 Day Fiancé and, yes, the new spinoff, Last Resort. You guys, this is our big reality TV episode. There is so much happening in reality TV right now–so many shifts–and obviously I had to talk to people from my favorite reality TV franchise to get into all of this. So, you know my favorite couple from 90 Day Fiancé. I make it clear all the time who my favorites are. I know I say I love all of 90 Day Fiancé. Everybody has their own special unique part and they’re all so special. But you know Kenny and Armando are my absolute favorite couple. So, you know they’re here from 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way. I am so happy to have you back on the podcast. Welcome.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:02:26] Hola.

Armando Rubio [00:02:26] We’re happy to be back.

Ashley Ray [00:02:28] Thank you for hitting us with the “hola,” Kenny.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:02:31] That’s all you’re getting.

Ashley Ray [00:02:34] We won’t get into it. I know people jump on the Spanish lessons. But honestly, when you went to that grocery store this season, I thought you did a pretty good job.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:02:43] Thank you!

Ashley Ray [00:02:45] Okay. And I did think it was a little unfair. I think Mexico City does have some English-speaking grocery stores. So, I was like, they kind of set you up.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:02:53] He definitely set me up. But that one was the closest to where we were staying.

Armando Rubio [00:02:58] The thing is, that was the point, you know? Yeah, there are other bigger markets and stuff and whatnot, but that was the point for him to have a little test and see–

Kenny Niedermeier [00:03:07] See how I drown.

Ashley Ray [00:03:07] But you did okay. It was just the seasonings where things got a little difficult. But how have you both been? How has it been since the hiatus of last season? Coming back this season. Knowing you’re a fan favorite, but this season you do have a different dynamic. We’re actually seeing some tension between you two. You know, this big move to Mexico City. I mean, you usually are a couple where just, like, “They’re so in love. They’re just a happy part of the show. The rest is chaos.” But now, you know, you’re really showing us this difficult decision in your relationship. How is that?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:03:44] Well, you know, we took a year off from Season Three to now Season Five. And we did it because, you know, we just wanted to live our lives without a camera being around us. But in any relationship, no matter how perfect it may seem, you have disagreements, and you have challenges that you have to work through. And that’s one thing a lot of people, I think, don’t understand. You know, they’re seeing moments in our lives. And we’re really good at compromising and absolutely the love is still there. Compromising, though, doesn’t always happen in the instant. You know, sometimes there’s discussion and there’s sometimes disagreements, and then you’re seeing that.

Ashley Ray [00:04:24] Yeah. And Armando, this has been a big shift for you. Obviously, your family is taking this really hard. You know, we don’t know what decision you’ve made yet. Don’t spoil it for us. But for you, how was it, you know, first coming out to your family on television–now dealing with this on television? You know, how is that for your family to cope with?

Armando Rubio [00:04:49] Well, personally, I think doing the show has been really healing for not just me but my whole family. And it’s been like therapy for us because we’ve had conversations we probably would have never had if it wasn’t for cameras and producers being around us. So, it’s been good because we have been able to express things and I’ve heard things from them that I never thought I’d hear. And so, it’s been great all around for that reason.

Ashley Ray [00:05:14] Yeah, I mean, it seems like the show is so great for you two. I know for some couples it can cause a lot of drama. But at least for you two, it seems like it does truly bring you both closer. I’ve absolutely loved seeing how close Hannah and Kenny have gotten this season. No offense, Armando–I feel like they’re kind of teaming up on you at times. When it came to going to the school, she was just like, “Yep. Mexico City. We’re doing this.”

Kenny Niedermeier [00:05:42] It’s really cute with Hannah. I mean, we really have come a long way. Her English is impeccable now. And, you know, it’s been a beautiful thing for me. This is a new role for me, being a stepparent. And it’s really come full circle. And we really have a great time. She is just a joy. It’s cute, though, when she gets recognized on the street. People want to take pictures with her. She loves it.

Ashley Ray [00:06:07] Do you think you’ll let her watch this show someday?

Armando Rubio [00:06:12] Yeah. There comes a day, I think, when that will happen because as a whole, even us doing the show initially and continuing to do the show for more seasons–we see it as a time capsule for our kids, our grandkids in the future, and even for ourselves to be able to look back on our lives now. And even seeing Hannah–how she was when we first started, how little she looked, and how grown up she looks now. So that’s beautiful for ourselves to be able to see.

Ashley Ray [00:06:41] And, you know, The Other Way is I’d say the more family friendly version of the spinoff. You know, you don’t have to fast forward through too many other couples.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:06:51] We’re kind of the PG of the franchise.

Ashley Ray [00:06:55] Yes. You’re very much the PG of the franchise. Are you watching the other franchises that are on right now? We have 90 Day UK and Before the 90 Days.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:07:06] And now Last Resort’s starting.

Armando Rubio [00:07:07] We’re catching up on all of it. I’ve always loved reality TV myself. I didn’t know about the show 90 Day Fiancé until Kenny came around. Once he told me about it, I was hooked.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:07:23] He watches… There’s a Big Brother type of show in Mexico.

Armando Rubio [00:07:29] And the Kardashians.

Ashley Ray [00:07:31] I mean, come on. The Kardashians? That’s, like, the queens of reality television.

Armando Rubio [00:07:37] I can’t believe you watch it. I got my own subscription just to watch the new one on Hulu.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:07:45] He did.

Ashley Ray [00:07:45] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Kenny, what about you? Are you just 90 Day Fiancé?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:07:51] For reality shows, before I moved to Mexico, I did watch some of the Real Housewives stuff. And then I watched 90 Day Fiancé, and that’s how I found out about The Other Way and brought it up to him. But since I’ve been living in Mexico, I don’t see anything really. I’m kind of a news geek. So, I watch news a lot. And I watch some of the old shows. Like, I got him to watch The Golden Girls. He loves it now.

Ashley Ray [00:08:15] Oh my goodness. The Golden Girls is amazing. I mean, I still watch it to this day. If it’s on, I am going to sit down and watch The Golden Girls.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:08:25] That’s right.

Ashley Ray [00:08:26] And I wonder, you know, being on reality TV, does it make you approach it differently? You know, I think when I watch Real Housewives, it’s so easy for me to be like, “That’s the villain. This is the person I like. Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe this person did this thing.” But being, you know, on the other side–understanding how producers work these situations–do you have a little more sympathy for these people?

Armando Rubio [00:08:47] It’s like this…

Ashley Ray [00:08:51] I thought you were just going to be so sweet and be like, “Of course. Please. Continue.”

Armando Rubio [00:08:54] No. We have a side to us you don’t know about

Ashley Ray [00:08:57] Oh.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:09:01] In our case, we haven’t been manipulated at all. We have not had anybody say, “Do this,” or “Do that.” When we started this show for ourselves, we said, “We’re going to be real, we’re to be authentic, and things happen how they happen.” And whatever you see on TV of us–we filmed it. That’s us saying these things. And so, we have to own it. And I think a lot of people on reality TV have to own it. But I think once they get on there, they don’t realize some people can be vicious. And you just have to have a tough skin to deal with it. But in our case–because we can’t speak for anybody else–it’s what’s happened. And just like the last couple of weeks, you’ve seen a lot of stuff with Armando’s mom and him. And Hannah was there for one of the talks. But it happened organically. We didn’t sit at the table and have it, like, “This is what was going to happen that night.” It came out organically. It was real. That was a real moment. So, we didn’t have time to switch Hannah out. It was just one of those things that happened, you know? And then we talked to her later about it and she learned a lot and she was proud of her dad for sticking up for himself. And I think he did it in a very mature way. You know, there was no throwing pots and pans and all that crap. We really tried to talk things out reasonably.

Armando Rubio [00:10:18] And then, I mean, going off a little bit of what Kenny’s saying–because we do watch the show and because we do know what it’s like, that’s what we struggle with when we hear, you know, others, like, blame the addict or that they’re upset at how it went. But it’s like you said when you said, “You did what you did.” And yeah, I mean, obviously it’s condensed and edited together, but you did what you did ultimately.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:10:40] Yeah. Sometimes we wish they would show more of the whole because obviously the conversation with his mom was a lot longer in there. And it’s TV–you have to condense it. It’s what it is. “I wish they would have put that in there. This is what we said here.” But you know, it’s what it is.

Ashley Ray [00:10:55] Yeah. And you know, there is a lot of talk right now about a reality star union and protections for people who are on reality shows. There are lawsuits right now against Netflix, Bravo… TLC obviously does things really different. You know, being on 90 Day Fiancé is showcasing the sort of process of getting a K-1 visa or moving to another country. You know, it is still the Learning Channel. There’s, like, this documentary learning element to it. You know, how do you feel when you hear that other reality stars are fighting for these rights compared to your experience?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:11:30] I understand a lot of it, but I also understand that when you sign up for this, you’ve been around–you know what’s going to happen. You know, you wish you got paid more. You wish that things were edited different maybe. But, you know, you signed on the dotted line, and you did it. You know, you signed it. You knew what you were going to get into, I think.

Ashley Ray [00:11:54] Yeah. And, you know, in an environment like 90 Day–across the franchises–it’s not like they’re plying you all with alcohol or trying to keep you from sleeping so that you say ridiculous things. It really is to showcase this sort of honest depiction of your relationship.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:12:08] Yeah, there have been times where we have been filming and we’ve had… Well, I’ll do a little plug for next week’s show. It’s pretty dramatic for us. It kind of will surprise people what happened that day. And when we were done with that, I said, “We’re done for the day.” I mean, we were maxed out. And they said, “You’re human. No problem.” They’ve been really good with us.

Ashley Ray [00:12:35] Yeah. And I think it helps people to hear that about this franchise because people are so quick to say, “They just want to manipulate people. They want to take advantage of people like, say, Tyray, who is on Before the 90 Days, and who’s also going to be on this episode. You know, he was clearly being catfished, and the producers knew. But it wasn’t like they were tricking him. He wanted to educate people on how this happens. You know, it was so clear he still had a voice in what was going to be depicted and how this situation would go for him. So, I am always saying, “Hey–90 Day Fiancé–it’s not like, you know, Love is Blind. It isn’t a game show. These are real people who just want to honestly show their lives.” You must have at some point talked about what you want to show on television when it comes to intimate moments and what you’re comfortable with. Are you ever shocked by Gino and Jasmine and how they just don’t seem to have that boundary?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:13:34] I think Jasmine, you know, has a mind of her own. And she is very extroverted, where he’s more introverted. Like, he wants to keep it, but she doesn’t care. Like, I think she likes the shock value. I think she likes the shock value to Gino and to see what his reaction is going to be. In our case, we don’t talk a whole lot and get into details about certain things. And we kind of talked on it, but we know each other, and that’s how it is. It does get a little spicy later in the season. We go to a strip club.

Ashley Ray [00:14:11] Okay, because you two I feel like never really have the spiciness. It’s like, “They love each other, but we’re going to close the door and let the cameraman out before we kiss,” versus, say, a Gino or a Debbie when she was in The Single Life. She was doing her thing.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:14:28] Oh, gosh, yes. Yeah. We’ll never go that far, but you’ll see that door crack open this season.

Ashley Ray [00:14:45] And, you know, you two were sort of trailblazers for the franchise. You were the first gay couple to be featured. There was a lesbian couple that was the same season, although they kind of fizzled out pretty quickly. They didn’t have the longevity that you two had. Whereas I think with you two, everybody saw this as a real couple. We really are cheering them on. And in the time since, the franchise has really just become so much more diverse. It has been so open to other LGBTQ couples, trans people… How has it felt to you to see, you know, this kind of branching out across the rainbow? You’re not alone anymore.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:15:26] Yeah, no, it’s great. We love the company because the world is a big place and there is a place for everybody. And we need to show people that might live in areas that they don’t see kind of lifestyles like this and to hopefully open up their eyes. And we were surprised–and I really believe the network was really surprised–at how much people gravitated towards us. And we were really pleasantly surprised. And we got a dose of hate, too–religious hate–that is unfortunate. So, we’re glad they’re showing different kinds of couples across the board because the world, like I said, is a big place. And there’s a place for everybody on it to live their life happy. And our life does not affect anybody else’s life.

Armando Rubio [00:16:15] But besides the hate, even, you know, we’ve gotten so many messages from people that either, you know, had a son or their husbands didn’t agree with gay couples and stuff. And just seeing us, they see, “Oh, they’re normal. They have a good life. They love each other. They get along.” And we’ve opened their eyes. So, knowing that possibly with other stories–trans and gay and Cleo now–just seeing all these different stories, people will open their eyes and see that there’s others out there different but perfect in their own way.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:16:48] You know, there are so many people out there still that just visualize, like, a gay couple and they’re riding on a parade float and they’re bumping and grinding all the time. And it’s not like that because we did have a lot of people that brought up about how they didn’t think their son would ever be able to have a normal life. And they saw us. They said, “You know what? They can’t have a normal life.” And they would sit down with their son and watch the show. And so, it really, really does our heart good. And that’s why I think we continue to do this show because I think we have made an impact on some people and a positive impact.

Ashley Ray [00:17:23] Absolutely. And Armando, you know, when Kenny first came down, you had a lot of concern about public displays of affection and Kenny sort of, you know, adapting to what is appropriate in Mexico. Obviously, maybe you’re still in Mexico City–we don’t know. But obviously being in a bigger city and then the show being out, you know, people are recognizing you. Do you still kind of have that fear? Is that still a concern for you?

Armando Rubio [00:17:51] No, not at all, actually. A lot of that is also what’s played out this season where you see I’m more vocal, I come into my own, and I’m expressing more of what I want. And when you guys first saw me on the show, I was still timid–still quiet. It was all still new for me. So even, you know, the PDA was still new. But now I’ve grown in many ways in PDA, myself, and expressing and knowing what I want. So, I’m a stronger person for it. And that goes all around.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:18:24] I said, “I’m going to drag him out of the closet, kicking and screaming.” You’re going to love it.

Armando Rubio [00:18:30] But I’m prideful now, and I’m happy to be who I am. And I went through a lot of dark moments before that. But, you know, now I’m comfortable in my own skin.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:18:40] I always told him even in our long-distance relationship… I would come and visit. And we had a three-and-a-half-year long distance relationship before I moved. But I said, “Once you are yourself and live in your own skin and release those changes, your life is going to open up big time. It really is. And the people that really love you–really care about you–are going to come along for the ride because they just want to see you happy.” And we actually saw that with Armando’s dad and everything come a long way, and you’re going to see some really cool things. And his family and my family that are coming up on the season–people are going to really be happy about it.

Ashley Ray [00:19:17] Okay. So, more PDA is not Gino and Jasmine level. We don’t need that.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:19:24] We’re not peeing on each other in a hot tub.

Ashley Ray [00:19:27] Sometimes I just want the couples to know, “You don’t have to share everything. You can have privacy. Like, we don’t need to see everything as an audience. “So obviously, you know, there’s a lot that’s going to be happening this season. I was curious, Kenny, are your kids going to come back to visit? How has that relationship been now that you are kind of more established–you are used to the distance? Or are you used to the distance?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:19:49] No, you’re never… For me, I’m never totally used to the distance because I now have three grandsons. My daughter, Cassie, is due to have another baby, so I’m missing out on a lot. So, it still hurts a lot. But it’s dealt with a lot better. And my kids come to visit. And you’re going to see them coming up on the show, too. And we have still some talking to do, and we still have things that they have to come to terms with our talking about having a baby and things like that. And it’s a lot. And I know I put a lot on them with all this and this new relationship and a new marriage and I have a new family, so to speak, with Hannah. And they see that. And it can be tough, too, because they’re missing out a lot with seeing what I’m doing. I’m missing a lot with seeing what they’re doing. But now with video calling and everything, it’s a lot easier to keep in touch. And, you know, I see my grandsons all the time on video chat. So, it’s a lot easier than what it used to be.

Ashley Ray [00:20:53] Yeah. And I mean, they get a vacation in Mexico. That’s pretty fun. They want to come visit.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:20:58] Absolutely. And I pay for it.

Ashley Ray [00:20:59] Oh, that’s great. Yeah. And this past episode, we see that you’re still considering adoption–having another child. You know, so far this season, that hadn’t really come up yet. But the season before, it seemed like it was such a pressing issue. What kind of got you to slow down on that?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:21:17] I take the blame for it. I’ve been dragging my feet on it. And as you see in this last week, you know, we’ve had some miscommunication about it. We have feelings that we both have that maybe we didn’t really share with each other. And it kind of all blew up. So, as we move further in our journey with that, as you’ll see as the season progresses, we eventually do come to a decision about it all. And you’ll see it as it unfolds.

Ashley Ray [00:21:49] Armando, do you love hearing that? Kenny just like, “I take the blame. It’s all me.”

Armando Rubio [00:21:53] It’s true.

Ashley Ray [00:21:57] “It’s true.” But you know, I love that you two have this just communication. You’re, to me, the guiding light of all the 90 Day Fiancé couples in terms of how you should deal with, like, your issues, your conflicts… So, I am curious, do you have any advice to the other couples who are on The Other Way with you this season? Anything you want to say to the other couples because I have a lot that I want to say to Mary and Brandan–mostly “get off the phone.”

Kenny Niedermeier [00:22:26] Yeah, well, you know, I do think that things, like, with Kimberly and TJ in India–you can’t throw up to them all the time everything you’ve done because it was your choice to move there. No one held a gun to your head. And that’s why I never throw up to him. “Look what I did! Look what I gave up!” That doesn’t happen with us because that never helps anything. So that’s one thing I would cut out there is, like, you have to stop playing that card because it never works. It’s never a good look. With Brandan and Mary, a lot of that is just they’re kids.

Ashley Ray [00:23:01] They’re so young.

Armando Rubio [00:23:02] They’re learning.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:23:03] They’re learning. And we’ll see how that plays out. I mean, I’m really curious about them down the line.

Ashley Ray [00:23:09] Yeah, I didn’t even know you could have a phone plan where you could be on video chat 24 hours a day. I’m shocked that that is even possible.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:23:19] Really. I know. The data–I don’t know how they’re paying for that.

Ashley Ray [00:23:24] But yes, I think the biggest thing with The Other Way is learning how to accept the new culture. I do think Brandan has done a great job with that. You know, he hasn’t had any issues eating new food. But the other couple certainly, I think, are kind of culture shocked. And Kenny, that’s something you dealt with for sure.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:23:43] Well, you know, a lot of it got a little misconstrued because a lot of them said, “Oh, you’re insulting his culture” because I don’t like guacamole. I’m not going to apologize for not liking guacamole. I just don’t like it. You know, he doesn’t like pumpkin pie, so should I chastise him for not liking pumpkin pie? Stuff like that… I’m kind of a germaphobe, so street food was really hard for me. I’ve come a long way with that. I eat a lot of street food now.

Ashley Ray [00:24:13] I remember in, like, your first season, there was, like, a taco stand. You were just like, “I don’t know about this.”

Kenny Niedermeier [00:24:19] Yeah, they’re using their hands. I think, “They just came out of the bathroom.”

Armando Rubio [00:24:22] More flavor.

Ashley Ray [00:24:27] Yeah! You know, so I think there’s just so much the other couples can learn from you. I’m sure they’ll hear this advice. “Mary, just, like, get off the phone. Trust that guy. Please.”

Kenny Niedermeier [00:24:40] It’s the truth. You know, jealousy never gets you anywhere because a lot of times people like jealousy in the beginning. “Oh my God, he loves me so much.” You know, they love the jealousy, and then it gets old, right? You can’t keep that up. And, you know, if you’re in a relationship where you can’t even trust your future husband or where to sit on a plane next to a woman, you’re in trouble. You know, you’re going to have to really get over it because it’s more about you than what it is about your partner.

Ashley Ray [00:25:07] Exactly. I want to thank you both for joining us. If you want to keep up with Kenny and Armando, all you have to do is watch The Other Way. And it’s right there. Just watch it on Mondays. And you can also watch Last Resort. It’s my favorite spin-off–90 Day: The Other Way. Last resort–we’ll see. We’ll see.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:25:22] Well, thank you.

Ashley Ray [00:25:24] I’m enjoying it so far, but The Other Way is just, I think, the magic of the franchise. And it really shows the people who are prioritizing the relationships. You know, this isn’t someone who’s just like, “Oh, I want to come to America and get a lot of Instagram followers.” It really is someone who is like, “I’m starting a family. I’m going to another place.” So, I want to thank you so much for sharing with us. Where can people follow you? Is there anything you want to plug?

Kenny Niedermeier [00:25:48] Well, you can catch me on kennethunderday–

Armando Rubio [00:25:52] Underscore.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:25:52] Oh, sorry. “Underday.” I haven’t had a drink. kenneth_90day. Or I’m on Twitter @Kan_tampabay. Also, you can go to our website, kennyandarmando.com. There’s a lot of stuff out there that you can purchase, too

Armando Rubio [00:26:09] That we handmake. And you can find me on IG @armando_90day.

Ashley Ray [00:26:15] Yes. We love you. We’re so happy to support you. Thank you so much for joining TV, I Say today.

Armando Rubio [00:26:21] Thank you. It was great.

Kenny Niedermeier [00:26:21] You’re welcome. Thanks for having us.

Ashley Ray [00:26:23] Thanks again to Kenny and Armando. Coming up next, a juicy interview with Tyray Mollett from 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days. I love when we get 90 Day people on the show. And, you know, I had to wait for the right spin-off because, you know, we can’t just, like, bring everybody in from 90 Day. You have to get your favorite spinoffs. And my favorite… You know I love Before the 90 Days. And today we have Tyray Mollett. He is here. You are a fan favorite now. Hi, Tyray. Welcome to TV Club.

Tyray Mollett [00:27:09] What’s up, Ashley. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

Ashley Ray [00:27:13] Like I said Before the 90 Days is my favorite version of all the spinoffs because I feel like it has the opportunity to be pretty wild. A lot of times it’s people who haven’t met the person that they’ve been talking to yet, and that is what happens in your story. How did you end up on 90 Days? How did you kind of meet with the producers and get cast?

Tyray Mollett [00:27:33] Oh, you know, it was crazy. I watched the show like you did. I started at Season Four with Big Ed and watched that season during COVID.

Ashley Ray [00:27:42] Classic. Classic.

Tyray Mollett [00:27:44] As I’m watching, I’m like, “Wow, this show is crazy.” And then I’m, like, going through my own little situation with, you know, the person I was talking to. And then, like, I was like, “Hey, you know what? Maybe we should apply for the show.” You know, about a year later, after watching the show, we applied. We didn’t hear anything back from the producers until another year later. They were like, “Oh, hey, we’re interested. Are you still interested in being on the show?” I was like, “No.” I didn’t respond for, like, five days. And I was like, “You know what? Let me just do it.” But I was terrified, honestly. I was just like, “I don’t want to do it. People are going to judge me. All this crazy stuff is going on. I’m, like, living what these people are going through and, like, I’m watching it on TV.” You know what I mean? So that’s kind of what happened.

Ashley Ray [00:28:29] Yeah. And just you are such a sweetheart. I think as soon as you were introduced, we all fell in love with you. You take care of your mom. You’re such a sweet person. Your sister loves you. And I was just like, “Please, please, please, please, please let this girl be real. Please. Please.” And as soon as the producers were like, “We got to talk to you,” I was just like, “No! Come on.” And that felt like a first. I feel like this was the first time the producers really stepped in and were like, “Hey. Look at what we found.” How did that feel in that moment?

Tyray Mollett [00:29:01] You know, it was so weird because I was like, you know, just sitting on the couch. I was on my phone and stuff. And then they were outside. I’m like, “What are they doing?” because we didn’t really talk about what we were going to film that day. And then the next thing I know, they came back inside, and they were like, “We need to talk.” And I’m like, “Oh Lord. What happened?” I was thinking the worst. And then they were like, “Well, we found out some information.” I was just like, “Oh my God. This is crazy.”

Ashley Ray [00:29:23] Yeah. And how long have you been talking to this person who you thought was… What was her name?

Tyray Mollett [00:29:30] Carmella.

Ashley Ray [00:29:31] Carmella. Yes. You thought she was Carmella. It turned out to be someone else who admitted it. But then you eventually found the real Carmella online. What made you not want to give up? I know a few people watching were just like, “Come on. Let this girl go. Your sister is showing you evidence. Everybody is showing you evidence.” What made you want to keep going? How long had you been sort of invested in this?

Tyray Mollett [00:29:56] It was on and off for, like, four years. So, we got reconnected back in 2020 when COVID kind of got crazy. And then we kind of kept talking from then. You know, we had little stop chatting moments, but then it kind of got to the point where it was like, “All right, it’s a little too far deep now, you know? So, I either need to get some answers or, you know, move on or something because I don’t want to invest any more time.” So that’s when it was kind of, like, down to the nitty gritty of the show situation and then me going after it before. So just kind of like, “All right, let me finally get past this step so I can either see if this is going to happen with this person or if I just go throw myself back out there,” because it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. And then I was just, like, adamant on getting more information about it because, to me, what I was told wasn’t enough.

Ashley Ray [00:30:47] Exactly. And I mean, we see your family kind of be like, “Come on. Let it go, Tyray.” But at the same time, even knowing, like, maybe this wasn’t a real romance, this is someone you had talked to–you had opened up to. Even just an element of concern or care about the person, I imagine, for that many years, it’s hard to just let that go and move on. And I think a lot of people, when we’re just watching the show, you know, for us, it’s like, “Two episodes? Come on. Get over it.” But, you know, for you, this was an experience that took place over a long time. Was your sister ready to become a 90 Day fan favorite? Like, everybody loves her. They call her like their favorite show detective. “Get her on the case.” She needs to go help other 90 Day Fiancé people who are also having the same issue because she found the answers.

Tyray Mollett [00:31:32] Right. She was really happy about it honestly because they asked–they were like, “Hey, we need your help with this.” At one point, it was basically just me. I didn’t have anybody to tell anybody about all this stuff with. So, she sacrificed a lot. And she enjoyed it. She had fun.

Ashley Ray [00:31:53] Yeah. And what is it like now? You’re on the show. You’re under a lot of scrutiny. There are people, you know, who have all these opinions every week. And then you got to be on Pillow Talk. So, you’ve become this favorite on the other side. People love to hear what you have to say about the show. How does it feel to kind of make that transition?

Tyray Mollett [00:32:13] Oh, it’s weird. Just the Pillow Talk part just gave the other perspective of the other cast members. It’s interesting. But–I don’t know–getting their opinions is good just because they’ve been through a situation, you know? So, I like getting that perspective of it, too. Most of the comments I get are just like, “Delusional.” That’s what they say. And I’m like, “All right. I’ll take delusional.”

Ashley Ray [00:32:37] Yeah. Yeah, that’s not too bad. We’ve seen a lot on 90 Day Fiancé and all of the spinoffs. Delusional is not too bad. Are you friends or close with anyone else from your season? Do you guys have, like, a group chat?

Tyray Mollett [00:32:49] Not really a group chat, but I actually did a live yesterday with Riley and Statler. It was Riley’s birthday, so we did a little live with him. Yeah, I talk to all of them, and they’re all really nice people.

Ashley Ray [00:33:02] Yeah. So, filming Pillow Talk–what has that been like? I’m always curious. You know, I love watching TV. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be filmed watching TV, trying to, like, come up with reactions and things to say. Do you, like, watch the episodes ahead of time and try to come up with lines?

Tyray Mollett [00:33:18] You know what? I think that it’s mainly like they do it ahead of time. You kind of get, like, a rundown of what happened on the episode, you know what I mean? And then they kind of go at it and be like, “Oh, okay, you know, this is what the top is going to be about.” Or they show the most controversial parts of it.

Ashley Ray [00:33:33] Okay. Is there anyone that you would want to do a Pillow Talk with from 90 Day Fiancé? Like, is there anyone you’re trying to be friends with? I mean, people don’t really like Angela that much anymore. She can be a little aggressive. I would love to be friends with Angela still.

Tyray Mollett [00:33:51] She seems like she’d be good.

Ashley Ray [00:33:52] Yeah, I think we have a few cocktails. We start watching 90 Day. She’d have a lot to say. Mean things.

Tyray Mollett [00:34:00] So many people… I think Riley would be good on my current season. I think he’ll be really good. Statler–she’s funny.

Ashley Ray [00:34:06] Yeah.

Tyray Mollett [00:34:07] I like Jasmine. Jasmine is cool. She has a unique perspective on life. I like how she talks. Gino, too. I like Gino. Gino’s really interesting.

Ashley Ray [00:34:18] Yeah. Jasmine and Gino–they’ll bring energy for sure. They’ll bring a lot of sparks. I feel like every time they’re on screen, it’s arguments. I’m always like, “Somebody’s going to start yelling.” So, I want to get into other things you’re watching. Clearly, you’re watching 90 Day Fiancé, which currently is also running The Other Way. Are you watching that version, too?

Tyray Mollett [00:34:36] I haven’t been able to watch it yet, but I follow so many 90 Day blogs on social media that I basically get all the episodes… They, like, show everything–all the good stuff. And, like, they’re always talking and, like, asking my opinion on stuff. I’m just like, “Man, it’s crazy.” They have so many shows going on. I am excited about The Last Resort; I think that’s going to be really good.

Ashley Ray [00:34:58] Yeah. And we just found out today the last two couples on last resort are going to be Kalani–Kalani and Asuelu. And the other couple was…

Tyray Mollett [00:35:09] Kelly and Molly, I think.

Ashley Ray [00:35:13] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Kelly and Molly. And Kelly technically wasn’t on a 90 Day, but they met afterwards. And then he was on pillow talk, and we all loved Kelly. So, yeah. Okay.

Tyray Mollett [00:35:22] Huge fan of Kelly, too.

Ashley Ray [00:35:23] Huge fan of Kelly and Molly. I love the two of them. I need them to work.

Tyray Mollett [00:35:28] Same.

Ashley Ray [00:35:30] Jovi and Yara. I always say “Yovi and Yara” on accident.

Tyray Mollett [00:35:37] I like that, though.

Ashley Ray [00:35:38] right? It’s kind of cute. “Yoviyara.” That should be their little name. So, what else are you watching? Are you a big reality TV person?

Tyray Mollett [00:35:45] Not too much reality. I do watch the 90 Days. I like a lot of the ID channel shows about, like, you know, the crazy wives, the crazy husbands, crazy kids, crazy grandmas, all those shows.

Ashley Ray [00:35:58] I’m all about those. I’m all about those. Evil Lives Here is one of my favorite ones.

Tyray Mollett [00:36:03] Fear Thy Neighbor.

Ashley Ray [00:36:05] Oh my gosh. I’m always watching those, and it’s always just like, “Okay, who’s it going to be?” It’s like, “Oh, but secretly, our dad was evil and, like, hid her body in our basement.” That’s a whole show, too–just A Body in the Basement.

Tyray Mollett [00:36:17] It’s crazy. I love those kinds of shows, though. Like, you really don’t know…

Ashley Ray [00:36:21] Really. And they all always have new versions of, like, creepier and creepier stories. I was rewatching recently this one they did called Phrogger, like, There’s a Person Hiding in My Closet. And they had enough episodes to make a show about people who just, like, hid in other people’s closets. That ran on ID. It was so scary.

Tyray Mollett [00:36:45] That sounds terrifying.

Ashley Ray [00:36:46] And I just am like, “Every day they’re giving me something new to be terrified about.” But are there any popular shows that you’re watching right now? Do you do any of the, like, comedies?

Tyray Mollett [00:36:59] You know what? White Lotus. I love that show. Like, I’m waiting for the new season. The first two seasons were amazing. There was another one, though. Cruise Ship Killers or Murderers or something like that. It was on Peacock. So good.

Ashley Ray [00:37:14] Oh, I did hear about this one.

Tyray Mollett [00:37:16] New fear unlocked, though. New fear unlocked for real.

Ashley Ray [00:37:18] Yeah. Yeah, I actually think I was watching an ID show about some serial killers who kill people on a yacht. So, it always comes back to scary murderers.

Tyray Mollett [00:37:29] Right. All the time.

Ashley Ray [00:37:31] Every single time. And White Lotus is also really, really good. People are always like, “Oh, White Lotus. That’s highbrow, premium TV. 90 Day Fiancé is the other end of things.” And I’m like, “No. They’re both amazing.” Last Resort is about to be my 90 Day version of White Lotus, I feel like.

Tyray Mollett [00:37:49] Yeah. Exactly.

Ashley Ray [00:37:50] It’s just a bunch of couples having drama on the beach, and I’m about to be really excited about it. Like, that’s my favorite part of White Lotus is just seeing how much the couples fight and hate each other. Like, the murder is cool, but I’m also just like, “Oh my gosh, these two people.” When that woman reveals her affair and, like, how her trainer is the dad of her kids, I was like, “This… This is television.”

Tyray Mollett [00:38:12] Yeah, exactly. I’m like, “Wow. This is crazy.”

Ashley Ray [00:38:17] Yeah. Are there any underground shows you feel like people aren’t paying enough attention to?

Tyray Mollett [00:38:23] Oh, you know what? I like my old anime shows. I still watch Dragon Ball Z. I can watch that and go to sleep. Just watch it all day. You know what I mean? There was a show 3% on Netflix. It’s in Portuguese, though. It’s good.

Ashley Ray [00:38:39] Yeah. What is this about?

Tyray Mollett [00:38:40] So basically there’s, like, this test people take when they turn 22, I think. So, they have to go through this, like, organization. And they take the test. Only 3% are going to make it past the test. And when they get into this organization, they become, like… Not, like, superhumans, but they get kind of elevated in different areas.

Ashley Ray [00:38:59] Yeah.

Tyray Mollett [00:38:59] it’s crazy. Really good. Just, like, four seasons. It’s on Netflix.

Ashley Ray [00:39:03] Yeah, Netflix is always trying to get me to watch this, and I’m always just like, “It’s not in English.” I’m just very lazy.

Tyray Mollett [00:39:10] They have the… Not the subtitles, but the voiceover.

Ashley Ray [00:39:12] Yeah, they do dubs. And my friends are like, “You can dub it.” And I’m just like, “What? I don’t like how dubs look?” Like, I’d rather do subtitles. I do some anime. I think the listeners know Attack on Titan is my jam–my favorite anime.

Tyray Mollett [00:39:26] I love that.

Ashley Ray [00:39:27] Yeah, it’s so good. And I do do dubs, which I know is kind of controversial. I like the dub voices for some of the characters more. And I also didn’t realize that there was a subtitle version. So, when I first started watching, I was doing dubs. And then it’s hard to switch back.

Tyray Mollett [00:39:46] Yeah, exactly. You get comfortable.

Ashley Ray [00:39:49] So, you know, I am wondering if you can give us a little sneak into, you know, what happens in these final episodes as the season’s coming to an end. Where is your journey going? You know, we know you’re about to go down there. What’s going to happen? Give us a little hint.

Tyray Mollett [00:40:07] I got you. I got you. Definitely. Definitely taking the trip. The good news is–I don’t want to spoil too much–I’m not going alone.

Ashley Ray [00:40:15] Okay? Okay. I was worried about that, and I was kind of hoping you were with your sister. I was like, “Bring her since she’s the one asking the questions–investigating. Come on.”

Tyray Mollett [00:40:25] Yes. So, I definitely brought somebody with me… Maybe people? I don’t know. I met the person alone, though. But I definitely went somewhere. And I think I got the closure that I should have expected–some of it. So that’s pretty much all I can say. I got some closure.

Ashley Ray [00:40:44] Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people watch the show and think it’s easy to troll, to make fun, and to laugh at these people. But I think your story shows how easily this can happen, especially in this day and age where if someone passes the normal checks, you’re like, “Well, they’ve sent me a video, so this must be a real person.” We all are, you know, literate on our cell phones at this point. But you still don’t realize how much people put into crafting these identities–how, you know, good people who are smart, who shouldn’t be in these situations, just get fooled like this. You know, it’s not like it was when Catfish debuted, okay? It’s not as simple as just doing a Google image reverse search anymore. Like, these people put in a lot of work.

Tyray Mollett [00:41:34] A lot of work. And the thing for me was that, like, even if I did see something wrong, I wouldn’t say anything. You know what I mean? I would just be too passive and kind of let it go just because, like–I don’t know–maybe I didn’t have the proof or whatever. But it was just me not really standing firm on things. And it definitely was my fault to some extent, you know what I mean? But definitely people have to be careful. I definitely advocate for just being careful online.

Ashley Ray [00:42:02] See, I feel like most 90 Day people when they’re in this situation keep blaming another person. And they don’t want to take some accountability for it. Or they just, like… You know, we all know Caesar who just, like, held on to the belief that his girl was real and was like, “No, we took a picture together. I swear we actually met. Everyone was just like, “Come on.”

Tyray Mollett [00:42:21] I haven’t seen that yet.

Ashley Ray [00:42:23] Oh, sorry to spoil Caesar’s season, but he does not meet his Ukrainian bride. And then he ends up on the single life. But, you know, he, I think, is someone who you see, like, just didn’t want to admit to himself that, like, he had made this mistake. He wanted to believe. But you have embraced that accountability, and you’ve really turned this into a positive situation. And I think the viewers can, like, take a lot from what you’ve experienced. So, what do you hope viewers learn from your story?

Tyray Mollett [00:42:53] I’m hoping they do take some of the positive out of it just because I feel like sometimes people go through situations a lot of people can kind of see. You know what I mean? Open up someone else’s eyes because, like, there’s a lot of times people do go to these foreign countries or even different cities, and they get robbed or even murdered by people. Or, you know, catfishing them… Or even they’ll have the real girl be there and video chat them or whatever, and they still get attacked or hurt. So, it’s definitely something I think people should watch out for, just to be a little more safe online. And also make sure that somebody knows because nobody knew about this whole Carmella situation–me and her dating or whatever. It was just me, you know, the whole time. So, I say people shouldn’t be afraid to reach out. And then people should also listen and be a little more sympathetic for their friends, too, if they are in a situation like this. You know, be honest though at the same time. Give them a little bit of, you know, support, too. But definitely don’t let them go in the situation blind where they could potentially get hurt or the other person can get hurt. All sorts of things could happen. So, people just need to be a little nicer.

Ashley Ray [00:43:55] Yeah. And have more acceptance. I think a lot of times people want to hide these relationships. They happen in the dark because people feel that shame–that uncertainty–of like, “Oh, I’m dating someone who lives somewhere else. I don’t know. What if I get made fun of?” And in this day and age, we’re all looking for connection–for relationships. You know, every day there’s a new article about how people are lonelier than ever. And that’s why I love 90 Day Fiancé–because I watch the show and I’m like, “All these people can find love.” And some of them are real. Some of them–whenever it works out, I’m just like, “That’s a win for love right there.” When someone’s like, “I flew all the way to Latvia, and I actually met my girl,” I’m just like, “That’s the one and 1 in 100 chance that it actually works.” And that’s what I think is beautiful. And I love that you’re still in the 90 Day Fiancé family–that you still are watching the show. And there is often, you know, some inter-90 Day dating we’ve seen. You interested in any of the other castmates–any of your fellow 90 Day people?

Tyray Mollett [00:44:59] You know, I like all the cast. Everyone’s cool. You know, I’m not really sure who’s single right now, but I definitely would like to meet more people. I haven’t met too many cast members.

Ashley Ray [00:45:13] Okay. TLC should be throwing little mixers.

Tyray Mollett [00:45:16] That’s what I’m saying.

Ashley Ray [00:45:17] I know they have a running list of “Who can we put on the Single Life next.” They could be throwing mixers, setting you guys up.

Tyray Mollett [00:45:25] They should do Last Resort with all singles.

Ashley Ray [00:45:27] Yeah. Okay, see, we’re pitching right now. I would watch this. They get counseling, the single people find each other, it’s kind of like, I guess, The Ultimatum, but nobody has to get married…

Tyray Mollett [00:45:42] Yeah. Something like that.

Ashley Ray [00:45:44] With all our favorites. Oh, come on. I would love this. John, the guy with the Boston accent. Throw him in there.

Tyray Mollett [00:45:51] Oh, yeah, definitely.

Ashley Ray [00:45:52] Yeah. He’s so funny.

Tyray Mollett [00:45:55] He’s off the hook. His Pillow Talk for me was funny. I was dying.

Ashley Ray [00:46:01] Pillow Talk is so good. You know, people would think, like, “Really? Are you going to watch a show about people watching a show?” And I’m like, “It’s really good.” My mom and I–we watch the show, and we sit and watch it again with Pillow Talk. And it really is like, “See? I knew that they would agree with me. That’s exactly what I thought.”

Tyray Mollett [00:46:17] Oh, you watch it with your mom? I love that. Me and my mom watch the show, too. I don’t even watch it without her. So that’s our little thing.

Ashley Ray [00:46:25] Right? It’s such a good mom show. I don’t know. Moms just get so into it. My mom loved you. She was screaming at the TV the whole time. She was just like, “No! Don’t leave your mom! You need to protect her! I can’t believe they did this to him. He’s so sweet. He’s so nice”

Tyray Mollett [00:46:42] Well, me and your mom are buddies then.

Ashley Ray [00:46:43] I do feel like you’re the mom favorite this season. I think all the moms are on your side.

Tyray Mollett [00:46:50] I’ll take that. I’ll take that.

Ashley Ray [00:46:54] I want to thank you so much for joining us today, for talking about everything you went through, and for giving us a little behind the scenes, 90 Day insight. Like, okay, you get the closure. We can work with that. We can work with that. You’re not giving away too much. Don’t tell us. Don’t tell me. I really want to know, but don’t tell us if she shows up. Okay, fine. We’ll tune in. We’ll tune in. I think it’ll air next week from when you’re hearing this.

Tyray Mollett [00:47:23] Yeah, I think next week. Yes.

Ashley Ray [00:47:24] Yeah. So, thank you so much for joining us. Where can people follow you and make sure they’re still getting your 90 Day takes?

Tyray Mollett [00:47:30] Oh, yeah, definitely. Thank you. I appreciate it. This was awesome. I’ve been fighting COVID for the past week, and it’s good to get dressed and talk. You know what I mean? It made my day definitely. I appreciate it, Ashley. But I am on Instagram and TikTok–@ttyrayy.

Ashley Ray [00:47:48] And obviously keep watching Pillow Talk and Before the 90 Days. Oh, there’s some really good twists this season. The couples are some of my favorites. You know, I just always think 90 Day Fiancé–out of all the reality shows–is always on the cutting edge or one of the first shows to really diversify and tell different stories. So, I’m always happy to celebrate the show. Thank you so much for joining me today. This was so nice.

Tyray Mollett [00:48:09] Yeah, I appreciate it. It’s been an honor. Thank you so much, Ashley.

Ashley Ray [00:48:16] Thanks again to Tyray, Kenny, and Armando. I’m just going to give you some brief, brief homework this week. We have a few things that have returned. There’s a whole new season of Solar Opposites you can enjoy. We also have the finale of And Just Like That coming up. As you know that show is my heart, so seeing it end? Going to be tough, but we’re going to be talking about it. And I’m going to ask you to go revisit Jury Duty. If you haven’t already watched one of the biggest TV’s sensations of the year, I am shocked. But just a little hint, you’re going to want to be caught up for next week’s episode. And that’s all I got for you. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll be back next week with another episode. TV, I Say with Ashley Ray is an Earwolf production made by me, Ashley Ray-Harris. It’s engineered by Abby Aguilar, produced by Anita Flores, executive produced by Amelia Chappelow. And our original theme song is by RaFia. It means so much to me if you go rate, review, subscribe. Follow TV, I Say. Let us know what you think and tell your friends. Share with your Golden Girls. Tell your Boys. If you love my TV recommendations, let everyone you know know. For special TV Club members, join my Patreon.