EP. 47 — Angela Manuel-Davis

Jameela: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to another episode of I Weigh with Jameela Jamil. I hope you’re well. I have a great episode for you today. I thought we could all do with a motivational speaker. I thought considering that we are almost in March, which means it’s now a year of this bullshit that we could all do with a little just boost a reminder that everything might just be OK. And it’s something that I try and remind you of at the beginning of this podcast. But she’s much better at it than I am. I met her because I was dragged practically with a gun to my head to her her class. At the time, she was a cycling instructor at Soul Cycle. She is no longer doing that. She’s moved on and started her own company called AARMY, which she will tell you all about in this episode. But I mean, I. I hate I hate sweating and I hate moving. I hate getting out of bed. I hate moving my knees. I really particularly don’t love bicycle’s because I just don’t feel like it’s feels good on my crotch, you know. Just doesn’t feel good on my crotch it’s something you have to get used to. And I just don’t have I just didn’t have that prior experience. I kept on getting a wedgie and then I heard that she was a motivational speaker and I’m English. And so that’s just not part of our culture. We don’t like motivating. We like hating. You know, this is we we think it’s funny to to hate on stuff. We think it’s proper and it’s English it’s stoic. We’re not the kind of want the people to we’re not the nation to be known to build ourselves or each other up. And and that’s part of where our humor comes from. And some of the things that some might find self-deprecating and charming, sometimes slightly suffocating. Um, I feel I have mixed feelings about our way of life, but my bitter misanthrope, English, fucking tired little ass, went to her motivational cycle class, which is very intense and left converted into someone who thought positivity and optimism and hope was a good thing. She’s so magical and powerful and incredible and her life story is so fascinating. I mean, she’s she refers to herself as an international fitness evangelist and a motivational coach, but she’s a former member of the USA track and field team. She’s a five time all American who held world rankings in the 100 meter dash. She ran track professionally for Nike. She’s an Olympic trials semifinalist and a member at the world championship team and now has an insanely successful career going on tour with people like Oprah, having people like Beyonce and Jay-Z and David Beckham as her regular clients and a class that is just with hundreds of different people every single day. And now she is the co-founder of a fitness company. And she, as a mother of two, as a black woman in an industry in which she is underrepresented, is coming to kick ass and take names. And so there was so much to talk to her about. And she’s just a very relatable and approachable and empowering individual. And I loved our time sitting down to talk together. I feel as though our hopes are very aligned, even if our fitness levels aren’t. And and I would love to know how you feel after you listen to this. Do you feel inspired? So let me know in my DMs afterwards the way that you do every week. And please enjoy the excellent Angela Manuel Davis. [00:03:34][214.0]

Jameela: [00:03:51] Angela Manuel Davis, welcome to I Weigh. How are you? [00:03:55][3.5]

Angela: [00:03:56] I’m wonderful. How are you? [00:03:57][1.6]

Jameela: [00:03:58] I’m good. I am in need of your company. What a time to to have a motivational speaker on a podcast when I feel like we need you the most. Thank you for joining us. [00:04:11][12.6]

Angela: [00:04:12] It’s my pleasure. Truly. [00:04:13][1.1]

Jameela: [00:04:14] I cannot believe it’s almost March again, which kind of rounds out a year of such chaos and our lives being unimaginably turned upside down for you specifically in ways that we’ll get into later. But I I wonder, how much have you been needed as a motivational speaker during this past year? [00:04:37][23.1]

Angela: [00:04:38] I mean, I first of all, just for everyone listening, I think I would be remiss not to start off by saying this is one of the most extraordinary moments in human history and here we all are. You know, if you are listening to this podcast, we are still here. We are still alive. We still have breath in our lungs. If we are still here, there is still purpose for us to do. You know, every single one of us, I truly believe from the bottom of my heart is created and purpose on purpose for a purpose. And the mere fact that we are here and and like I said, what I believe to be one of the most extraordinary moments in human history means that we are equipped for this moment. You know, what I truly believe is that there has been a lot of work that was done this past year, but also a huge revelation of how much work is yet to be done. Yeah, I mean, I think where we have experienced so much division, you know, so much turmoil, that the one thing that this pandemic did do was w e were fighting the same thing and it put us on the same team when so often we’ve been broken up in teams and pinned against each other. It felt like, you know, there were moments and there were pockets of unity that, you know, I hadn’t experienced in a while. And that felt nice. And I and I hope we can find ways to hold on to that. I hope we can find ways, you know, to stay on the right side of history and and push through this. You know, the fact that we have an opportunity to enter a pandemic one way and exit a better version of ourselves than than what entered, that’s massive to me. That’s huge. [00:06:42][124.2]

Jameela: [00:06:43] Agreed. And and if you’re out there listening and maybe maybe you’re not the best version of yourself after this past year, I’ve certainly devolved in some ways. That’s also OK. I feel as though Angela and I both want you just to know that it’s never too late to start. That journey is always, always possible, and there’s no expiry date on your path to improvement. And so, you know, I’ve I totally fell apart, stopped brushing my bloody teeth, Angela, for a while during the pandemic last year. But I’ve I’ve been able to pick myself back up and and kind of try again. And now a year later, I find myself starting to get into the proper swing of self improvement. And it doesn’t feel too late I don’t feel as though I missed an opportunity. I was just doing what my brain needed to do to survive. And just the survival in it in and of itself, I think is so valuable to remind yourself of. [00:07:40][56.8]

Angela: [00:07:41] Yeah, I mean, I’m a brand new business owner, you know, and here we are. I opened the doors to my brand new business in January of 2020 and March had to close the doors and and being faced with a pandemic as a mom and a wife and and a business owner and someone who inspires for a living feeling going through it, too, you know what I mean? It doesn’t you know, I’m not exempt from going through the same challenges that everyone else is going through just because I encourage and inspire people for a living. And I got to a place I got to a really low place during this past year where, you know, it was it was tough for me to even muster the strength to get through the day trying to show up for so many people. I ended up putting myself on the back burner and not showing up for myself. And so the fact that you took time to not brush your teeth with you showing up for yourself and doing what you needed to do. And so absolutely every person that took a beat and whether or not you’re still on that beat or not and you listened to what you needed in that moment, hats off to you. You know that’s permission. We’ve got to we’re so tough on ourself. We’re so hard on ourselves. We have to give ourself permission to figure this out, you know, who’s who’s ever been through a pandemic before? I haven’t. [00:09:28][106.5]

Jameela: [00:09:31] Also a small tip. Don’t become friends with your dentist like I have who now listens to my fucking podcast and follows my fucking Instagram. So sorry. Sorry to you for that. And I’ll see you at our next visit and you can scold me because now you know I can’t blame it on my toothpaste anymore. Anyway. How the fuck does a motivational speaker motivate themselves out of the, you know, the pause that you found yourself in last year? [00:09:59][28.3]

Angela: [00:10:00] I feel super blessed to have a really dope family who poured into me and kind of shifted and shaped my outlook and, you know, I at an early age, learned the power of choice. I learned that I make choices every day. And at the end of the day, I am those choices. And, you know, I learned that peace is something that I can fight for. And peace is peace surpasses understanding. That’s the thing about peace. Peace goes beyond your understanding. [00:10:45][44.4]

Jameela: [00:10:46] What do you mean by that? [00:10:47][0.6]

Angela: [00:10:48] So peace goes beyond what we know are the facts. So, for example, we can be in an airplane and we are experiencing crazy turbulence, crazy turbulence. You don’t have evidence that you’re going to land safely. You actually do not have that evidence. Right. But you can still have peace. It goes beyond peace, peace overrides what you’re actually experiencing. You can still tap into peace without the proof and the evidence that things are going to be OK. [00:11:23][34.8]

[00:11:24] That’s so funny you say that I had a literal moment like that on an airplane about a year and a half ago. Remember airplanes? I, I was sitting with my boyfriend. We were in we were flying through a hurricane just over a hurricane. As you can imagine, the turbulence being out of control. He’s terrified of flying at the best of times. So I drugged him with cough syrup and he woke up during the outrageous turbulence to the point where it felt like the plane was going to have to nosedive, to kind of to cut under the wind. And he woke up just off his tits. He was off his tits. He was wasted. And so being wasted and being shook around an airplane and being terrified of flying turned out to be a terrible idea. So he just keeps kind of waking up going, oh. And then going back down and I looked at him and he’s freaking out and everyone on the plane is freaking out and even the air steward look terrified, which is never comforting because they’re the ones who are supposed to most keep that cool. And I thought to myself, well, at least if he is on this plane, as in my boyfriend, then I would never want to be on the ground if this plane went down, like I would never want to have to live a life where I had to survive him. And so there was this weird peace that washed over me where I was just like, I accept whatever’s going to happen, because at least I’m I’m with him. And whatever however this ends, we end that together, which is the only time I think I’ll ever say anything romantic in my entire life ever. So we’ve all just witnessed the first and last moment of that. But it was amazing to then be truly I think the only person on the plane who then just felt quite chilled. [00:13:02][98.6]

Angela: [00:13:03] Wow. [00:13:03][0.0]

Jameela: [00:13:03] And I just found a I found I found a place of it is what it is. And I think that for me has come through living with a disability for a large portion of my life. It is what it is has kind of helped me kind of find stability and made last year not not as challenging for me as it maybe would have without that philosophy. So I’ve just randomly told everyone a very personal story in the middle of your very motivational word. Sorry, but I have actually experienced that before. [00:13:31][27.8]

Angela: [00:13:31] And that’s exactly what I’m saying. So how does someone get through a pandemic? You have peace that surpasses all understanding. Regardless of what it looks like and what it feels like. You are able to you are able to remind yourself, I’m going to be all right. You’re able to remind yourself, my kids are going to be all right. You’re able to remind yourself I’m my business my brand new business is going to be all right. You are able to remind yourself none of this is an accident or a coincidence or a a random happenstance to God. So if I’m here, I can get through it. I’m able to remind myself that there’s not one challenge I will face that I cannot overcome. I’m able to remind myself that this is not an obstacle, but an opportunity. How is this going to grow me and shape me and posture me for what’s in front of me? Why is this experience so important for me? What is what are the learnings in this experience that are going to help shape that are going to better help shape what’s in front of me? You know, that’s how I got through, you know, I pulled on and reminded myself who I was. I reminded myself that I can do hard things. I reminded my children. I reminded my community. But was it was it, you know, was I able to give myself that pep talk every single day? Absolutely not. You know, where there days that felt long and heavy and overwhelming. Absolutely. You know. But we’re here, but we’re here, and I and I am a strong believer that the challenges change us and they grow us and they stretch us in ways that easy times don’t. And so I believe that I’ll be better because of it. I believe that life doesn’t happen to us, but for us, I just believe it. I believe that there was something in it for me that needed to grow me and stretch me and and and I choose to search those out. That’s what I choose to look for. [00:15:41][130.0]

Jameela: [00:15:49] Something I found really striking about you is that a lot of times when you meet motivational speakers or people who are who deeply, deeply inspiring and to others kind of pull from when it comes to their light, those people often have emerged out of quite a dark past. And yet, when speaking to you, you actually have a foundation of immense support and encouragement. And this is where this comes from. Would you mind speaking to me a little bit about your your upbringing with a father who was a professional athlete and then yourself becoming a professional athlete? I would love to know where this all comes from. [00:16:26][37.6]

Angela: [00:16:28] Well, my mom and dad were high school sweethearts. They’d been together since my mom was 15. They’re still married. I was just actually on the phone with my parents right before I jumped on here with you. And so I do feel super blessed that I had a great family and a tight knit family. I’m the oldest of four. And for my parents, they always reminded us of the principle that life and death is in the power of the tongue. So basically, you are who you say you are. Right. I’m sure a lot of people have heard that Gandhi quote where he talks about your thoughts, become your words, your words, become your actions, your actions, become your habits, your habits become your character, your character becomes your destiny. I think I add to the end of it your destiny becomes your legacy. But we were always really mindful of what we said to each other. And my parents were always really mindful of what they spoke over us you know. So it it was. [00:17:36][68.1]

Jameela: [00:17:37] What does that mean as in what they said not just to you, but also in front of you? [00:17:40][3.1]

Angela: [00:17:41] In what they spoke over us. Meaning so I it wasn’t like, you’re stupid, you’re dumb. How do you not know that? Like, you suck. You’re this, you’re that. It’s like, no, you can do it. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re capable. It’s speaking, it’s speaking life. It’s it’s it’s it’s really the power of your words. Right. And they were very, very mindful of what they said to us, what they spoke over us, not calling us outside of our name. They call they they would address us by our name, you know. And so they just really instilled this power of words and how and and I think that is why I am the encourager that I am today. And when we spoke yesterday, you know, I love I love the analogy. When you talk about encouraging someone, it’s really you taking the courage out of you and putting it in someone else. And I can’t encourage someone if I don’t have courage, I can’t inspire people if I’m not inspired. I can’t I can’t speak life and I can’t speak these words that can change someone if if I don’t believe them or walk them or if it’s not something that comes natural to me. But I, I give that back to my parents. I give that back to the foundation that they laid. I give that back to this lineage of of just being a family who uplifted each other verbally, spiritually, emotionally. You know, I still find notes that my mom wrote me when I was running track professionally and just, you know, there were moments when it was hard to feel like you were the best when you were getting on the line and you were racing someone that has proven themselves to be the best in the world. I got on the line at the Olympic trials in 2000. And at that time, Marion Jones was the fastest woman in the world and she had clocked the fastest time she had the world record. She was the legitimately the fastest woman in the world. And here I am getting on the line against her in the Olympic trials. But I was so confident I did not feel like she could beat me. I did not feel like I was beatable. I was so confident. And the confidence didn’t come from this ego. I’m the best. This confidence came from I am operating and the gifts and talents that were given to me and I am going to crush being me, I’m going to cr- so it just it was just a way that my parents were able to encourage and speak to my gifts. But I can’t remember exactly what they would say. I wish I could remember exactly verbatim what these notes would say, but but ironically, like not long ago, I found another one just recently, but they were just lovely that way. So I don’t I don’t come from a super dark, traumatic upbringing that brought me to this revelation. I just had parents from out the gate that certain principles and just poured into me. And so we we had the opportunity to be that now, like you said, like you said earlier, you said, regardless of what you did with this pandemic, regardless of if you feel like you’re emerging the best version of yourself, regardless of that, we get to choose right now. So regardless of what we’ve gone through, regardless of what our past has look like, we get to choose our future. [00:21:34][233.0]

Jameela: [00:21:35] Yeah. One hundred percent. [00:21:36][1.0]

Angela: [00:21:37] We get to choose our future. We get to say, I’m not going to cheat on my future with my past. I’m not going to stay in the hurt and the trauma that is not allowing me to emerge stronger and better because of it. And we get to choose that. And I and for everyone, it isn’t going to be easy and it’s not going to be natural, but we can work towards it, we can work towards it. [00:22:06][28.8]

Jameela: [00:22:06] Oh, I love that so much. I will not cheat on my future with my past. That’s so profound. It’s so true. It’s so amazing how much we you know, however much the things that hold us back are all in our head. [00:22:22][16.0]

Angela: [00:22:24] Yeah. [00:22:24][0.0]

Jameela: [00:22:24] So much of the time they’re just ghosts of something else, something that we could easily move through. It’s amazing how much we get in our own way, especially as women, especially women of color. You as a black woman, have an extra hurdle in American society where- and perhaps you don’t perceive it that way. And it’s far from me, far be it from my place to tell you how to feel. But there is that extra hurdle for many black women in this country. And so for you to have this have this extremely pure and uplifting upbringing in a time that was probably not super easy for your parents, I’m not sure I wasn’t there around your family, but it wasn’t an inclusive time in America for them to raise you with nothing but self belief and no fear. [00:23:10][45.7]

Angela: [00:23:11] Absolutely. [00:23:11][0.0]

Jameela: [00:23:11] When there was so much fear in their environment, in that generation anyway. [00:23:15][3.2]

Angela: [00:23:15] So much. So much. I mean, I had no idea that, you know, we had notes from the KKK in our mailbox growing up. I didn’t know that when my dad was playing professional baseball, that when he goes to check into the same hotel that his entire team is staying at and he has my mom and myself as a baby with him, that he is turned away and has to find a different hotel to stay in different from where his team is staying in because he’s black, I had no idea these things. I had no idea these things. I had no idea, you know, what they experienced. But they opted to set me up differently. They opted to to allow me to believe that I was victorious and not a victim. And and they really postured me for that. They really they really helped to create this belief system that. [00:24:20][65.1]

Jameela: [00:24:22] You were in the driving seat. [00:24:23][0.9]

Angela: [00:24:23] That’s right. That’s right. That’s right. [00:24:25][1.8]

Jameela: [00:24:26] So important. And it’s funny. You know, it’s funny you say this and you talk about the fact that we can all do this now. I don’t know if you’re aware, but maybe two years ago we started seeing all these reports about how the disaster of GenZ and the disaster of millennials, but mostly GenZ is that these kids have all been raised to believe that they can do anything, they can be anything. And and so many articles, especially in the United Kingdom, where we really just don’t believe in building anyone up regardless of their age, but saying that, you know, we’re raising a bunch of snowflakes, you know, who have no no concept of realism. Who the fuck is defining what our quote unquote reality is going to be, what is realistic for our goals? And so they think that, you know, we’ve set generations up for failure by instilling them with hope about what they could what kind of barriers they could break past. And it’s so wonderful to hear that actually what has made you is that same encouragement and that it’s not a bad thing and that you aren’t necessarily setting someone up for failure. Perhaps you’ll set them up for some disappointment. But disappointment doesn’t have to kill us if we look at rejection differently, if we choose not to see rejection as failure, if we choose to see rejection as this isn’t the right time for me. [00:25:37][71.4]

Angela: [00:25:38] That’s right. And I think where people really try and put their stake in the ground with that argument is is because the work ethic isn’t there, so I had hope, I had, you know, for me, I had a promise of a great future. But my parents taught me to work for it. [00:26:08][29.8]

Jameela: [00:26:08] Right. [00:26:08][0.0]

Angela: [00:26:09] To work for it, so it wasn’t, you know, this this weightless hopefulness. It was understanding that I was in the driver’s seat because I had the power to choose to do the work to take me there. I’m saying I was I was in the driver’s seat not because I’m just, you know, kumbaya-ing through the world and believing you know I had to do the work to get on the line at the Olympic trials. I had to do the work to be ranked in the top twenty five in the world at one hundred meters. I had to do the work. I had to do the work. And so I think that is the or at least what I see with my kids. I have a 14 year old and an 11 year old and and it’s so funny as parents you want to give them everything that you that you have, you want to give them you know, I definitely can provide for my kids a different kind of lifestyle than what was provided for me as a child. And so there was a bit of there was a bit more sacrifice and and yearning that I probably had as a kid. But you can’t teach grit. But but you got to as parents, we have to try and teach hard work and the importance of hard work. For example, I have extremely talented kids. I was a professional athlete. My husband was a professional athlete. My dad was a professional athlete. I have these extraordinary athletic children. And what I remind them of all the time is your talent will only get you so far. There’s going to be someone that doesn’t have as much talent as you but is willing to put in the work when you’re not. And has the ability to surpass you. [00:28:07][117.9]

Jameela: [00:28:07] Yeah, they say something like, I’ve heard the expression, I think it was something like it’s 99 percent perspiration and only one percent inspiration. But that’s the balance of true genius or excellence. [00:28:18][11.2]

Angela: [00:28:20] Yeah. And so I think that whole GenZ argument, I think it’s not necessarily of course, you should be hopeful. Of course you should think positively and all of that. But you need to work hard. There needs to be a work ethic. You you you can’t just show up and think that you’re going to be great without the grit. You can’t just show up and think you’re going to be great without having to sacrifice. There’s that element that I think is missing for some people, but holding on to hope is important. Holding on to inspiration is important. [00:28:55][35.8]

Jameela: [00:28:56] Yeah, I agree. I agree. Was that hard as a child? I mean, the way that they work athletes, you know, when they’re young is really, really intense. I’ve a couple of friends who were athletes from a very young age and were there ever really difficult days where you just didn’t want to carry on. Your parents were just like, keep going. [00:29:15][19.2]

Angela: [00:29:18] No. [00:29:18][0.0]

Jameela: [00:29:18] You just always wanted it, you were just hungry. [00:29:20][1.2]

Angela: [00:29:21] Yeah, I mean, it’s it’s it’s for you in your craft, you know, and what you do, I’m sure that there was a passion piece that was there as well where you wanted to do it, where you loved it. And so for me, there was I loved it. I loved it. And when I was when I was over it, I stopped. I was in my twenties when I was over it. But when I was over it, I. I walked away and I was OK with walking away, but my parents didn’t. [00:29:51][29.7]

Jameela: [00:29:53] Can I ask you what made you over it? [00:29:54][1.3]

Angela: [00:29:54] I ran the one hundred meters in one hundred meters was, you know, a high 10 second low 11 second race. And I would warm up an hour and a half to an hour before every ten seconds, 11 second race, and sometimes have multiple races in a day. Be training multiple times a day for years and years and years. And I remember one day, clear as day, I was in the Bay Area and I was getting ready to run. And I was with my training group and I looked to one of my one of the girls in my training group. And I was like, Do you ever just get sick of this? She’s like, No, no, no. And I could not bring myself to do the warmup. And I knew I was over it. I knew I was done. I could not even bring myself to go through the process of warming up and so I was mentally I was done and I was able to just walk away and feel good about it. [00:31:01][66.1]

Jameela: [00:31:01] You have been married quite young? Correct. Can I ask you how old you were when you got married? [00:31:04][3.1]

Angela: [00:31:05] So my first marriage was was I 19 or was I? No, no, no, we started dating at 19, I was married at 21. [00:31:16][11.4]

Jameela: [00:31:18] Bloody hell. [00:31:18][0.0]

Angela: [00:31:18] And divorced by 23. [00:31:20][2.2]

Jameela: [00:31:21] Goodness. So you’ve got all that going on as well as also this incredibly competitive career with so much prep and then such a short burst of payoff of actual performance. Yeah, I get it. And it’s just. And also you’ve lived so much by that age when you were a young athlete, you start so young that you kind of feel like you feel as though you’re coming towards the end of your career anyway. [00:31:41][20.5]

Angela: [00:31:43] But but it was that so here I am over 20 years later. Over 20 years later from being divorced and going through the I was in the Olympic trials in in 2000. So here we are in 2021. So over twenty years later here I am. And it, you know, on these big stages as a motivational coach and a motivational speaker and training some of the most extraordinary athletes in the world, some of the most extraordinary performers in the world, the creatives in the world here I am doing that because of that. All of that that I went through, because of that divorce, because of that heartache, because I was hundredths of a second away from making the Olympic team. I didn’t make the Olympic team in 2000. I fell short at the Olympic trials if I would have run the same race in my final that I did in my semifinal, I would have made the Olympics. Can you imagine how tortured I felt at the end of that? I was hundredths of a second away from making the Olympic team. But I’m the only the only way that I can sit here with you and have conversations like I have and the only way that I can get on those big stages and and motivate and encourage and inspire all of that, I had to go through I had to go through some stuff. [00:33:02][79.6]

Jameela: [00:33:03] The reason I brought it up was because of that in particular. It’s because it was around the time of after your divorce, you fell into a kind of a depression. I guess one could say and and a kind of slump in your life after having lived such a kind of positive and motivated life for so long for, you know, over two decades. And it was that slump that I think it was your father. Is that correct? Who told you to get back up and and keep going? That that pushed you towards now becoming an instructor and then a motivational speaker and and a fitness evangelist, as you refer to yourself. [00:33:43][39.8]

Angela: [00:33:43] Thank you. [00:33:43][0.4]

Jameela: [00:33:44] Can you tell me about that time? [00:33:45][0.8]

Angela: [00:33:46] Yeah, it was a really heavy, heavy time where I was so beat up emotionally and spiritually. And even though I had the foundation that I had in my upbringing, I was still discouraged and I was still over it and my heart was broken and I was hurting. And, you know, my family had this intervention for me and my mom and dad and my siblings were all like in the living room. It was this whole like you’d see out of a movie. And my dad says to me, he says, you need to run to your healing. God is giving you a gift and you need to run to your healing. And I started because I had given up running. I had just given up everything. It was like I was so heartbroken and so devastated that I just gave up everything, any gift and talent that was given to me. I just relinquished it. I gave it up. I gave it away. I’m no good. I’m not worthy. I was ashamed. I was like all I was I was going through it and I didn’t feel I didn’t feel like my dreams were valid. I didn’t feel, you know, I was it was a low time for me and I had to I had to operate and the gifts given to me to get out of that. And then that unlocked for me the coaching aspect of it which unlocked the speaking asp- you know, it’s just this it’s this ripple effect. But that’s why I say and that’s why I said at the top of this, even our conversation, I said every single whoever’s out here listening, you have to know if you are still here and still alive and still in your body and in your mind that you have purpose, it can look different. You know, at one point in my life, it looked like running track. You know, at one point in my life, you know, it looked like being a cycle coach. At one point in my life, it looked like you know it looks different. And if we are still here, if we are still occupying space on this earth, there is still something for us to do. And really what I love about what I do is that I get to encourage people in that. That I get to say, hey, you’re here, you’re here and you are in purpose on you were created in purpose, on purpose, for a purpose. And you are destined to be great. You are the dopest no one can do you like you. No one. No one can do you like you. There are things that you’ve been put on this earth that only you can do. And I get to reach in and grab it and say, here it is, look at it. Now go and do it. Now go and be it. Now go and operate in it. Now go in own that go crush being you. [00:36:38][172.5]

Jameela: [00:36:39] And also it’s OK to know that you might not know at eighteen who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. You might not know at twenty five you’re going to be for the rest of your life. I found my career at thirty as an actor. Until then I’ve been doing something different and before twenty two I was an English teacher. I have, I’ve accepted that I’m never going to have just one path and I’m probably never going to know exactly what that path is for the rest of my life until my life is finished. I think I’m just going to keep jumping from thing to thing to keep figuring out all these different facets to myself, all these different parts of myself, and that no one can no one can dictate to me what those parts are because I’m still discovering them and I think we’ll be discovering them until the day that we die. [00:37:20][41.5]

Angela: [00:37:21] Absolutely. And what is a crazy thing that we often think is that our job is our purpose. Your job doesn’t necessarily mean that your life’s work, it’s a blessing when they are the same. It’s a blessing when you get to when you’re being paid to do your life’s work and it doesn’t always work that way. You know, you can still have your job or have your career and it be. And it. And it and it be different from your life’s work. You know what I mean, like your life’s work is, is your mission and your purpose. And it’s just it’s a different thing. And I think what happens is people get discouraged that they don’t have a shot or an opportunity to live in purpose because they have a job. You see what I’m saying? [00:38:12][50.5]

Jameela: [00:38:12] Yeah. And we also look at we look at greatness as being always very public, whereas actually just the impact you can have on one person’s life if you are a carer for just one person, if you influence if you raise someone, if you there are so many different ways that you can be profound without having to be on a world stage. [00:38:27][14.9]

Angela: [00:38:29] There it is. There it is. I’m actually writing I’m writing a lot and I’m writing a book. And I do I there’s a whole thing that I talk about exactly that. My greatness isn’t- we correlate greatness with success. [00:38:43][13.8]

Jameela: [00:38:44] And with fame a lot of the time with with with maximum recognition. [00:38:48][3.8]

Angela: [00:38:50] And to me, greatness is taking what you’ve been given and being willing to give it back and just take what you’ve been given and give it back. [00:38:56][6.6]

Jameela: [00:38:57] I refer to one of my best friends who’s a very, very unimposing human being. Often people miss how profound she is because she’s so quiet and she doesn’t feel the need to prove herself to anyone when she meets them. And I always refer to her as quietly iconic, where she is the most extraordinary person in everyone she knows’ life like we’re all obsessed with her and all vying for her attention and her affections and her approval because she’s just such a motivating force in all of our lives. And the world may never know her. Her name’s Sophie, by the way, if you’re listening. And she is someone I call quietly iconic and she may well always be quietly iconic. And that doesn’t take away anything from how memorable and important she is. And I wouldn’t be probably alive today if it wasn’t for her. And I’m sure a lot of people in her life feel that way. Outside of this podcast, other people may never know what she did. But, you know, I think that that’s I think it’s really valid and important to remind people of that. You know, we had Rachel Cargle on this podcast talk about the fact that to be an influencer, you don’t have to have 10000 plus followers. You just have to influence even one person in your life. You went on to eventually become a soul cycle instructor for a long time, and you had like David Beckham come into your classes, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kerry Washington, so many famous athletes. At one point, I was dragged kicking and screaming to your class. And I am not an active person and I’m built like if a memory foam mattress had nipples and bangs. That’s me. I’m your guy, if that’s what you’re looking for in in a lady. And and I was not I was not set up for soul cycle physically in this world. And I was really fucking dreading it. Honestly, if I’m if I’m honest, Angela, however much everyone would wax lyrical about you, I was like, oh, shit. And I went in so reluctantly in the wrong size shoes because I didn’t even own trainers that fit me. And I did your class. And it was it was honestly one of the more extraordinary hours of my life. And I, I hated motivation and sports at that point. And yet you gave me both. And it felt like and I think so many people have said this about your class, it felt like a spiritual experience. You were preaching to us. You weren’t encouraging us and you weren’t talking to us about the way that we look or how to work off that Thanksgiving lunch. You know, there was nothing about our exterior. It was all about moving forward towards our power, moving forward, towards our greatness and the way you preach in those classes. And I went to a few before I eventually gave up. OK, I’m not above I’m not above admitting that I couldn’t keep going. It wasn’t it wasn’t my time back then. I just crashed. But I did go to three in a row. And and you speak with passion as if you are burning on the inside. It was just like you cared. It felt like you cared so much about each of our individual journeys and you can feel the love and the hope and intense belief pour out of you when you see I’ve never seen anything like it, not before, and not sense that you’re really, truly one of a kind. And I can see now why you have so many kind of like fitness and cycling disciples now. Will you call them your discycles? They they come to you because you feel so powerful afterwards. Obviously, my ass broke, but that’s different emotionally I felt very empowered. My arse still hasn’t recovered I think maybe but you are, you are phenomenal. I think I would have had to see it for myself to understand all of this hype. And so I know from the experience of hearing so many of your your clients, how much you’ve changed their lives, not, you know, not just how much you may have changed their bodies, which is something that you don’t find particularly important. And I love that about you because I’m a huge advocate for talking about the mental health benefits of exercise and fixing and soothing the inside rather than focusing on someone else’s expectation of your outside. Will you talk to me a little bit about your philosophy on that? [00:43:33][275.8]

Angela: [00:43:34] So thank you, by the way, that was beautiful. Thank you. I just, you know, I feel like for all of us, our body is what houses the gift. And I believe that being a coach and having the opportunity to marry sport and spirituality is really this opportu nity to encourage you to get strong enough in your body to leave me and to walk out the door and to go and do and be all you recalled and created and intended to be. It’s not about the esthetics. I could care less about your butt, your abs or your biceps, your triceps. I could care less. Every single one of us is different. And there shouldn’t be just one what we hold up as the ultimate being in shape or specific body type. For me, it’s really about saying every single one of us is an individual. Every single one of us is unique. Every single one of us has different gifts and talents. And how can I coach you to get strong enough in your body to live the life you were created and intended to live? That’s it. That’s it. And so I can come to you in a passionate way that has nothing to do with shallow esthetics and make the entire experience something deeper for me in my forties. I’m not going to you’re not hooking me in a workout class if I’m only focused on my butt like I’m I’m over it like that doesn’t do anything for me, you know? But if I have an opportunity to. [00:45:16][102.0]

Jameela: [00:45:17] Focus on my butt? No sorry you were going to say? [00:45:17][0.8]

Angela: [00:45:21] You know, encourage someone regardless of their body type, look like let’s get strong so you can go and do you. [00:45:29][7.9]

Jameela: [00:45:29] I only felt one kind of pressure in your class. It was really interesting. I didn’t feel like there’s no strict rules on how much weight you have to use, how much resistance you have to put up that you weren’t walking amongst us and and eyeballing whether or not we were going fast enough. I didn’t feel as though I could let you down in those ways. It felt very much so, like everyone to go at their own best pace. But I felt like if I didn’t believe in myself, that was the only way in which I could disappoint you. And I felt I felt motivated to believe in myself as much as you believed in me in that meeting, which is wild because you were a complete stranger to me. But I felt this pressure to to care about my future as much as it felt like you did. [00:46:11][41.8]

Angela: [00:46:12] Yeah. [00:46:12][0.0]

Jameela: [00:46:12] And I think that’s a really cool pressure to have. [00:46:13][1.3]

Angela: [00:46:15] Thank you. And that’s the only pressure. Like if we can all just hold each other to that, if we can hold each other, it’s you know, I love to say friends don’t let friends settle. If we could all just have people in our life that say here, here is a mirror of possibilities. If we all have people in our life where we can point to and say, well, if she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it. If we can have people in our life that don’t hold us to our worst mistake. But but remind us of the greatness that we were created for it. You know, that’s the best pressure. That’s the best pressure to have people in your life that hold you to to a higher standard. [00:46:57][42.9]

Jameela: [00:46:58] I do want to point out whether or not it’s an issue for you, but how refreshing it it was and it is to see a black woman rising to the top of the fitness industry, because you are still I, I don’t mean the term minority in any kind of what am I trying to say I’ll say it again. You are still a minority among those who get to reign supreme in the motivational world and in the fitness world, and you are doing both and it is exciting to see you thrive, but also so important because I think that representation is how we bring more people into fitness, into being motivated. Some of the people who need your words of encouragement most are those who are most marginalized in this world. And if they see someone who looks like them empowered and empowering them at the top of that class, I feel like they’re more likely to keep coming back. And and it’s been so shortsighted of the the entertainment industry, the fitness industry, the motivational industry, to not think that people need that representation that we’re missing out on loads of people’s business, but we’re missing out on the chance to uplift so many people and change their lives by making them just feel as though they aren’t seen. And so when someone looks through a menu of the instructors for that day or for that weekend or for that course, and they see your face, they’re like, oh, you know what? She looks a bit like me. I’m going to gravitate towards that class. And obviously, you know, you have clients from all different backgrounds, genders, ages, etc. I’m just saying that, you know, as as a young brown woman, it’s exciting to see your rise and and and how much that means to the people that come to you for motivation. They feel as though you understand exactly where they’re coming from. [00:48:50][111.6]

Angela: [00:48:51] It’s important, I think it’s so important and I count it a privilege and I’m honored and and I don’t take it lightly, I don’t take it lightly at all. And if I can be someone’s mirror of possibilities like we were just talking about, that is a huge honor for someone to look at me and say, well, she can do it. I can do it. You know, that is that’s a it’s a big deal for me. It is a big deal for me and something that again, that I just don’t take lightly. [00:49:26][35.2]

Jameela: [00:49:27] And I think it’s very cool that you’ve now gone off and decided to start your own company, will you tell me a bit more about AARMY? [00:49:32][5.0]

Angela: [00:49:32] Yes, we are a global fitness brand and we have a location in New York and Los Angeles. And like I said, we opened our L.A. location in January and closed the doors in March of 2020 because of the pandemic. We closed the doors on a Friday, but by Saturday we were up and running on Instagram live, giving free cycle practices, free boot camp practices. And I was doing my motivational conversations. I had some amazing guests that came on and we had a great conversation, but we knew that we needed to still show up in community. And so even though we were group fitness where you can come in and take cycle and ride the bike or come in and take a boot camp or do a stretch class or something, anything like that, we still knew that we needed to show up in community. And so I am super, super proud of AARMY. But really we like to consider ourselves soldiers that are fighting for and with each other for your best life, you know. So regardless of where you are on your fitness journey, it’s really not about that. It’s about having the opportunity for us as coaches where you get to come and get on a bike or take a you have a boot camp practice and you’ll get cracked open just a little bit. And maybe that cracking open comes through the physicality. Or maybe it’s something that was said and your heart is cracked open just a little bit. And we get to pour in the reinforcement, we get to pour in the encouragement, we get to pour in the inspiration and the motivation and just remind you who you are, imposture you a little bit different so you can walk out of those doors different. And we’re proud of it. We we launched our digital app in September, so now you can train with us from wherever you are. It’s AARMY A-A-R-M-Y. You can find our app at our on our website, aarmy.com. But it’s something I’m proud of. You know for me, I was at the top of my game and and it took a lot of courage to leave a situation that felt really, really good. And so for anybody that is at the top of their game and is kind of at this place where you are contemplating whether or not to jump trust that the net is big enough to catch you. And I just got to a place where I couldn’t stay, where, you know, where I knew higher was waiting, where I could no longer just stay in my bubble of being comfortable and doing really good things. I knew that I needed to to jump and I knew I needed to be representation in a different way. I knew I needed to not only represent a black woman in the fitness industry, but I needed to represent courage and I needed to represent hope and that there was just something that was calling me to more. And so whoever’s listening right now and you feel like you’re being called to more, there’s no accident that you’re listening to this conversation, you can jump and trust that the net is big enough to catch you and I’m proud of AARMY. I’m proud of it. [00:53:07][214.2]

Jameela: [00:53:07] I’m very proud of you. That was a big old leap to take. And when you are a parent, it’s it’s even more of a gamble when you know that there are too little people in particular who are relying on you. And so to take such a big risk is an incredibly inspiring and cool. And I’m excited to see what you do with AARMY. I was wondering if just off the top of your head, are there three really sage pieces of motivation and advice that you ever have as your go tos or even just one whatever you have. Something to roundoff this podcast to our listeners, a lot of whom feel very tested. A lot of the people who listen to this podcast are often those who were drawn to I Weigh, which is a mental health advocacy company, because there is something going on in their life where they don’t feel seen or represented or they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin right now. Do you have any words of encouragement for those people? [00:54:00][52.9]

Angela: [00:54:02] I think I would leave everyone with what I started at the top by saying that you were created in purpose, on purpose, for a purpose. Purpose is something that often people feel like they have to find. They spend their life trying to find purpose. But when you really understand that you were created in and with purpose, it’s just something to unlock and it’s something to explore and to give yourself permission to explore, to give yourself permission not to be perfect, to give yourself permission to be human. And we have an opportunity to really be of service to each other. And us being of service, like you said earlier, is just that greatness piece where it’s where it’s being willing to impact and influence and in the tiniest way and not feeling like you have to be on some major stage or have some extraordinary amount of fame to make a difference in somebody’s life that no matter who you are or where you are, that you have the ability to make a difference in someone’s life, that you can choose to take what you have and to give it back. And I think I would leave everyone with the fact that we can and will get through this that we can choose to be better because of it. And that I would hope that all of us would choose to be better because of it and really search inside and discover the learnings that were available to us in this season, the revelations that were available to us in this season, and to allow it to posture us for what’s in front of us, because it took this to get us to where we’re going. This was required. This was actually a requirement. [00:56:00][118.5]

Jameela: [00:56:02] You mean the pandemic was a requirement? [00:56:02][0.0]

Angela: [00:56:03] Yeah. [00:56:03][0.0]

Jameela: [00:56:05] Yeah, I agree. I agree. I, um, I also just would like to and I can’t believe these words coming out of my mouth, so bear with. But I really I’ve only just started exercising regularly in the last couple of months and I’m 35 this week. And so I’ve waited as long as humanly possible perhaps to start moving my body. And it has completely revolutionized my existence. And I it’s just it comes in the form of, you know, walking 10000 steps maybe for me or doing a workout that I find online. But as an eating disorder survivor, I have to be really, really careful in the way that I approach exercise because it has been so just soaked in vanity. And our idea of exercise is always just this perfect esthetic. It’s always to get to the goal of the six pack and always to get to the goal of whatever new ridiculous body ideal has been set, in particular for women, you know, or for a lot of men who exist within the LGBTQ community. And I think that it’s so toxic because it has taken away exercise, which is such a vital part of our lives from so many people. And and I’m an impatient person. And if I’m waiting for a six pack, I don’t have it. If I know it’s going to take me six months to get something, I’ll just give up in week two and I can’t start seeing it. But if I’m working out to know that in 30 minutes, I’ll have endorphins in my brain and I’ll feel a little bit more in control of my life, then I can get through that 15 minute workout, even. Whatever I’ve got time just let me get my blood pumping and to release those endorphins as if they are like a little hit of drugs which the other chemicals released in your brain. I strongly recommend it. And I think that and learn AARMY could be like a really fun way for you to maybe get involved and be able to escape from the vanity aspect of exercise and just lose yourself and and your future and your future self you could become so. One I didn’t survive you in that week in which I became like I was honestly after the first one, I was like, I’m coming every day. I went to the second one and third one I just I hurt my ass. I pulled a muscle my ass really bad because I didn’t do it properly. I didn’t listen to you. And then and then a pandemic hit and I was not able to find you again. So I found you now. You’re back in my life. I will definitely come and check out one of your online classes and hopefully see you in person sometime soon. But just a little tip, I think, Andrew would probably be horrified by this, maybe. But I actually bring a cupcake to all of my workouts now and I have it there and I work out with a cupcake and I just take incremental bites of the cupcake to a) signal to myself that I’m not doing this for weight loss and b) to make it much more fun and enjoyable. So maybe that is a I have a pre and post workout snack. [00:58:57][171.6]

Angela: [00:58:58] Do whatever you need. [00:58:58][0.8]

Jameela: [00:58:59] Yeah, a little bit of icing in the middle never killed anyone. So. [00:59:02][3.1]

Angela: [00:59:03] If you could just take the vanity part off of exercise and say, I want to get strong enough for my body to live the life I was created to live, it just changes the game. [00:59:13][9.8]

Jameela: [00:59:13] 100 percent. [00:59:13][0.4]

Angela: [00:59:14] For me in this pandemic, I knew exercising and staying strong was was helping me to be able to focus on my children like I needed to, to be able to run my business like I needed to. It had nothing to do with what my body looked like, but just that I had the strength and the wherewithal to get through my day and to do my life. [00:59:38][24.0]

Jameela: [00:59:39] And it’s not just physical strength because, you know, I have a collagen condition, which means that I may not get the big muscles and I may not become super strong physically. But the strength of mind, the clarity you get, the feeling of autonomy and self-control you have as in like the fact that I control the fact that in 20 minutes I’m going to feel happier than I feel right now. That is an amazing feeling of power. [01:00:02][22.8]

Angela: [01:00:02] Game changer. [01:00:03][0.3]

Jameela: [01:00:04] It’s like learning masturbating. Just great like I could feel better in 10, 15 minutes and three minutes, if you’re lucky than I did before. What a great feeling of power. Well, I’ve made everyone shy now, so this is a great time to wrap up until we’re ending. We started on your Olympic journey and we’re ending on wanking. Welcome to I Weigh. OK, so Angela Manuel Davis, before you go, will you please tell me, what do you weigh? [01:00:35][31.5]

Angela: [01:00:38] I weigh being a mom, I weigh being a wife, I weigh being a sister, I weigh being a leader, I weigh being a friend, I weigh being an encourager. I weigh being a game changer. I weigh being hopeful. I weigh being my best. I weigh being an example. I weigh being a mirror of possibilities. I weigh being a new dog mom. [01:01:12][34.1]

Jameela: [01:01:14] Oh, that means you weigh having no fucking sleep. You weigh piss stains all over your favorite belongings and furniture. [01:01:21][6.6]

Angela: [01:01:22] My favorite! [01:01:23][0.5]

Jameela: [01:01:25] You know what? My dog has now started to take my favorite clothes and if I leave them on a bed or a couch or anything, he’ll start using his front paws to gather them up into a sort of like a hill of sorts. And then he’ll fuck it. He’ll just use them to gather my clothes up right under his right under his crotch, and then he will fuck my favorite clothes. So I’ve become a tidier person who actually puts things away in my closet now because nothing is safe. Well, thank you so much for coming on today and for your words of encouragement. And and I hope you find some more disciple’s for your fitness evangelical journey. [01:02:06][40.9]

Angela: [01:02:08] Thank you, my friend. [01:02:09][0.8]

Jameela: [01:02:10] Loads of love. [01:02:10][0.4]

Jameela: [01:02:12] Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. I Weigh with Jameela Jamil is produced and researched by myself, Jameela Jamil, Aaron Finnegan and Kimmie Gregory. It is edited by Andrew Carson. And the beautiful music that you’re hearing now is made by my boyfriend, James Blake. If you haven’t already, please rate, review and subscribe to the show. It’s a great way to show your support. I really appreciate it and amps me up to bring on better and better guests. Lastly, at I Weigh we would love to hear from you and share what you weigh at the end of this podcast. You can leave us a voicemail at 1-818-660-5543 or email us what you weigh at Iweighpodcast@gmail.com. It’s not in pounds and kilos, so please don’t send that. It’s all about you just you know, you’ve been on the Instagram anyway, and now we would love to pass the mic to one of our listeners. [01:02:59][47.5]

Listener: [01:03:04] I weigh my kindness, I weigh being a loyal friend. I weigh my cartoon drawings. I weigh being a marathon finisher. I weigh being an animal lover. I weigh being a world traveler. I miss it so much. I weigh my empathy and compassion for all beings. I weigh my love of animals. I weigh being child free by choice. I weigh being a tomboy. And I weigh caring for the environment. That’s all for now. [01:03:04][0.0]

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