March 7, 2022
EP. 309 — Divorced at 25
A young woman describes living life backwards after buying a home at 22 then moving in with roommates post-divorce with her baby. She also opens up to Geth about coming from a family of 8 and the fact that her son is only 1 year younger than her sister.
309 — Divorced at 25
Chris Gethard [00:00:04] Hello to everybody who thinks you’ve got to aim a little further afield than North Carolina. It’s Beautiful/ Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred. (THEME SONG) Hi, everybody, Chris Gethard here. Welcome to another episode of Beautiful/Anonymous. Thanks to everybody who’s been listening to the show supporting the show, so you can hear in this intro my voice is all blown out. That is not the case during the call. I was doing a live show in Asbury Park last night where I did karaoke and destroyed my voice. So I’m glad the whole call wasn’t like this. Don’t worry about it. This caller, I tell you… One of the things about the show, you often- I have had the opportunity to talk to so many people were, I just go, You’ve just lived so much life. And that’s this caller in a nutshell. This caller sort of lived life in a different order than a lot of us live. You’ll hear what I mean as far as when some major life decisions were made at a young age where we don’t usually associate them with a young age and how things moved on at a young age and family life, life choices, renting, owning. It’s it’s all it’s it’s just one of those calls where you go, Wow, there’s some people who have just done so much and seen so much and lived so much, and I feel really lucky that I got to talk to this caller. And I feel really, really grateful that you are listening to this caller. Hope you get something out of the call. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks, as always, to everybody who supports the show.
Automated Voice [00:01:53] Thank you for calling beautiful anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.
Caller [00:02:00] Hello?
Chris Gethard [00:02:01] Hi.
Caller [00:02:03] Is this Chris?
Chris Gethard [00:02:04] This is Chris. I can verify,
Caller [00:02:07] holy moly, I. Wow.
Chris Gethard [00:02:13] I think that’s the most wholesome response I’ve gotten to that in all these years. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a holy moly before.
Caller [00:02:19] I really try. I have a five year old, so I have to try to make sure that my language is somewhat 5-year-old appropriate. You know?
Chris Gethard [00:02:27] I feel like we’ve had so many people who curse and then say, Sorry, Sally, and you said, Holy Moly, and it might mark the first you’re welcome, Sally in the history of the show.
Caller [00:02:37] I get a you’re welcome, Sally?
Chris Gethard [00:02:39] I think you may have just invented- I don’t think this is a thing that’s existed before now.
Caller [00:02:43] Wow! Wow!
Chris Gethard [00:02:44] You’re welcome, Sally. I said, Holy Moly instead of any number of other things I could have said.
Caller [00:02:50] This is so exciting.
Chris Gethard [00:02:52] Yeah, you’re an inventor.
Caller [00:02:55] I’ve never been an inventor before.
Chris Gethard [00:02:57] So how are you?
Caller [00:02:58] So, so how are you today? Oh, okay, you can ask me that too. I’m doing. I’m doing good. I just had a job interview earlier today. I don’t think I’m going to take it, but that’s OK. I’m getting back out there, and that’s exciting.
Chris Gethard [00:03:14] I’ll quickly answer you and say, I’m doing good. And my wife was at physical therapy this morning for her, her back and her hip and I spent the whole morning with Cal running around the neighborhood, and it was lovely. That’s how I’m doing.
Caller [00:03:32] How?
Chris Gethard [00:03:33] This job interview. When you say getting back out there, is this getting back out there post-COVID or is this getting back out there post raising a child to the age of five? And now it’s time to get back out there in that sense? I know those are both things that people run into sometimes.
Caller [00:03:50] They’re both things. The thing that I ran into is I, um, I don’t like my current job, so I’m getting back out into job searching and interviewing and…
Chris Gethard [00:04:01] Got it.
Caller [00:04:02] Just trying to see if I can get into something that’s a little bit more, a little bit less morally gray, I think.
Chris Gethard [00:04:10] Whoa, that’s intriguing.
Caller [00:04:13] Yeah. Yeah, well, it’s not actually, I think I phrased it in the way that sounds like really exciting, but I work in government contracting and it’s um, I work near the near the capital and it’s just really funny, like the people in the capital who we’re supposed to be selling things to, like the things that they call people who work in contracting, like it- it basically equates to like calling us like slime balls. And I just really don’t like working in an industry where my customer is referring to me as that. So.
Chris Gethard [00:04:44] So just the nature of your industry, everyone you deal with views you as a slime ball? That’s not good.
Caller [00:04:50] Yeah, I guess, because the idea is that people who- no, like people who work in government contracting are trying to take the government’s money. The government is trying to spend this money. I’m not really sure why it’s that kind of adversarial commentary, but it it feels yucky. So I’m I’m hoping actually to to start with non-profits or something. That would be really exciting.
Chris Gethard [00:05:15] I like that. I like that. I like switching from government to nonprofit. That feels that feels like a 180.
Caller [00:05:24] Yeah, yeah, hopefully, hopefully. I would just really like to, again, like I bet you can super relate to this, having a kid. Like you want the thing that takes you away from your family, you want to feel like is worthwhile and is helping people.
Chris Gethard [00:05:37] I love it. I love it. And how’s that? How’s the quest going thus far? Today, today was a today was a no go, but in general.
Caller [00:05:46] Today was a no go. Um, it was my it’s been my only interview. I’ve been on the job hunt for about two months now, so it it’s it’s going slowly. But I think part of it too is that I I would really like to continue to work remote. So my options are slightly more limited than I think if I was willing to drive into the city.
Chris Gethard [00:06:11] You know, I feel like this ties into a lot of the stuff we’re all reading about right now, which is… A lot of people are thinking of their professional lives very differently in 2021 than they were in 2019. It sounds like you might be part of that of like, okay, I want to do something that morally I feel no conflict about. I want to do something that gives me more time at home now that we’ve all seen that’s possible. It seems like a lot of us, myself included, doing a lot of reckoning and sort of active redefinition of like, What do I want my work life to be? And what role do I want it to serve in my life? And especially as a parent, I know I’ve been feeling that. And I have to wonder if that that must it’s got to tie in as well, right? You mentioned a five year old, you said?
Caller [00:07:01] Yeah, yeah, he’s five. And I think that like that whole mentality too, it’s kind of post-COVID, but I wonder if it’s also like like Gen Z and younger millennials like my generation thinking… But like taking control, I guess, of the professional environment. You know, like people are out here arguing about how high the minimum wage should actually be and then unwilling to work for anything less because they’ve realized that like, we deserve it. And you know, there’s like conversations changing how we dress in the professional environment and conversations about how professional attire is completely arbitrary and doesn’t make sense. And casual Fridays should be every day and tattoos should be in the workplace, etc. like all of this stuff is coming out of both the post-COVID environment, but I also think it’s coming out of like kids really getting into the workforce and then going, No, it’s not going to be like this anymore.
Chris Gethard [00:07:57] I love it. I’ve always felt I straddle the line between Gen X and Millennial, and I always feel like I’ve always, my whole life, kind of felt that push and pull between like my brother and his friends and being the the young kid noticing what they’re doing, and then, especially as in my artistic life, my old TV show, I felt like it became this like rallying call for millennials who were like, a few years younger than me. So I feel that push and pull, and it’s one of the things that your generation is really doing right. I like it and I’ve been thinking so much too. And I think this is something that millennials and Gen Z are just really noticing more and more. I can tell you, as a forty one year old, I sit here sometimes, you know, I’m prone to stress and depression and anxiety, and I’ve noticed at this point in my life, all of those feelings when they come up, it somehow loops back around to money. It all relates to money and I sit here and I go, how exhausting is that? How exhausting is that? That this is the life we’ve built and the the system that’s in place is rigged so that you’re in this rat race. And what are the things that stress me out? I lost my health insurance last year as an artist. Now I’m doing fine monetarily, I’m not- there’s people a lot worse to me. I can pay out of pocket if I have to. It hasn’t come to that yet. But I sit here and go, man that feels like a stain, you know, like, Oh, I’m making so much less this year than I made four years ago. You’re not supposed to make less than you made. That that messes with my ego, my confidence. Money, money, money, insurance comes back to money. What choices should I make career-wise moving forward as an artist? Well, this one will make me happy, but it’s not going to make me money. Money money it’s all money. Money is the thing that messes with our heads so often. I hate it.
Caller [00:09:53] Yeah, absolutely. I hate it too. It makes. It makes no sense. And at the same time, like I I don’t know, like I’m- when I was married, part of the issue with my spouse was that he was living this mindset of like, we only need to make as much money as is possible for us to survive. And that feeling of like scraping by only fed into the anxiety, right? So like it, it sucks that we’re in this rat race where you need you need to make money in order to survive, but like going the opposite direction and going, Oof, I don’t like, I don’t want to actually be in the rat race. I’m only going to make the minimal amount is also completely stressful and terrifying and inhibiting. And it’s just like, there’s- I want to say that there’s not an in-between and then there is an in-between because like my little brother has this aspiration to be like one of those van people who like this out of the way and travel the world and like really doesn’t make any more than enough for like food and gas. And I guess for him like that really is you get to have your cake and eat it too. So maybe we all need to be van people.
Chris Gethard [00:11:04] Of these van people- I’ve been reading more and more about these van people. For anybody listening, I’ve read a couple of, I think fans of the show know I sort of obsessively read longform journalism. And there’s been a few articles lately about van people, that there’s van living. People who deck out vans to contain everything you need to live and you live in a van and you drive around and there’s a scene. There’s a big scene. Now, couple responses I have beyond just van living, which is fascinating. One, I am with you. I also want to say this: stretches in my family life when I was growing up, my family had no money and then I saw my father work hard and make money. I know that in my own life as an adult, I had the breathing room of coming from that. You know, that middle class. He was solid. I had that safety net. I understood that I had a fall back a lot of people don’t have. And then in my own life as an adult stretches where I was surviving and paying my rent and then stretches where there were windfalls of money due to some professional success. Goes up and down as I’ve mentioned. And I do want to say, I’m not naive. I think that money doesn’t buy you happiness, that cliche is true. Makes life a lot easier. I know that. Makes life a lot easier. Makes life a lot easier. So I’m not going to pretend that it’s not an important thing and not going to pretend that I’ve, you know, there’s people who- this conversation is very different because… They haven’t had the luck I’ve had, and they haven’t had the advantages I’ve had, and they haven’t had the safety net I’ve had. It does make life easier, so let’s not pretend. It just sucks that… The whole system’s designed in a way where more is never enough. It’s just never enough. And it creates a lot of division, a lot of stress.
Caller [00:12:57] I mean… I think that the funny thing is, is that like there is like that cap. I don’t know if… I don’t know if it’s like a common like if people have heard of this study, but there is a like a cap. Apparently, people who make up to 80 K a year can continue to grow their happiness based off of money. And then after you’ve had 80 k it like plateaus and you can’t get any more happy.
Chris Gethard [00:13:20] Well, it’s- I can say I had some at some years there where I did probably the best I’ll ever do. I don’t think I’ll ever match what I did in 2016 and 2017. And sometimes it messes with my head and I sit here, I go… I can just say as a as a person who historically has dealt with sadness, it didn’t erase it. It didn’t erase it. And uh I think it’s comfort, right? Money can buy you comfort. It can’t buy you happiness. And comfort, holy Moly, to quote you, does it feel good when you finally have comfort, when you’re not used to having it. When you have-.
Caller [00:13:58] Absolutely.
Chris Gethard [00:13:58] Oh my goodness. Now, can I ask about another thing that I noticed? I’m a perceptive- I’m a perceptive fellow. You have said that you are- well, you said you’re Gen-Z.
Caller [00:14:11] I’m on the cusp. I’m 96. So.
Chris Gethard [00:14:14] ’96.
Caller [00:14:14] Anybody who’s like ’95 to ’97, we’re we’re torn in the same way you are between like Gen X and millennial. Like we’re Gen Z millennial. But my my current partner is two years younger than I am, so I kind of feel pulled more towards Gen Z sometimes just because of the association there.
Chris Gethard [00:14:34] Well, I wanted to ask about that because you mentioned that you’re raising five year old and, you know, born in 1996 and then you said you used to be married. And I do notice that there is a- that’s uh just doing the math, ’96, you had uh your child young. You were married young. And I mean, you mentioned you have a new partner. So clearly you’re divorced, um.
Caller [00:15:00] Divorced, young. Yep.
Chris Gethard [00:15:01] Yeah, you got you got a lot of life experience out of the way pretty early on, huh?
Caller [00:15:06] Yeah, I kind of um, I feel kind of like I’m doing life backwards a little bit. Like I’ve always been a life out of order person, but I think it was just funny to like I went from being married and raising my son with my spouse, my ex-spouse, and, you know, we we owned a house together and I was completely miserable and left. And now I’m renting a house with my boyfriend and two of his friends. So it’s like a very like big, like roommate style living situation with my son. My son has like his own room and all these commodities, and like he’s super stoked that we live in this house with all of these friends. He thinks it’s the coolest thing ever. But for me, it feels like, you know, I went from like American dream style living to like college dorm style living. And that’s a funny transition.
Chris Gethard [00:15:59] Well, OK, that’s wild. I have to ask a bunch of questions about that.
Caller [00:16:03] OK.
Chris Gethard [00:16:04] Ok, so first, I want to ask you about this because so… that’s hard to walk away from, right? Like, especially because they say home ownership is one of those clear cut lines in the sand where they say your generation is not going to have the opportunity. It sounds like my generation is kind of the last that is going to find it possible to buy homes, which in America, traditionally, buying a home is viewed as one of those markers of financial stability. It’s probably something a lot of people view as like crossing into the threshold of adulthood in a very, very clear cut way. People are buying homes later and later in their lives, in my generation. But then in your generation, they’re saying now like economic disparity, minimum wage, it’s making it actually impossible. And now you’re reading all these weird stories that corporations are starting to scoop up, like homes in neighborhoods, and you’re going like, what’s that about? They’re really screwing with you guys. So you had it. You were over the threshold that a lot of your generation is really stressed out about, and you walked away.
Caller [00:17:10] I was 22 when I bought my house.
Chris Gethard [00:17:12] That never happens anymore.
Caller [00:17:15] I know, I know, yeah, but I’m a I’m an avoidant, not an avoidant person. I’m an escapist person. I remove myself from the situation instead of removing others. So in that situation, in order to get away, I got away from the house. I took my kid with me.
Chris Gethard [00:17:36] Of course.
Caller [00:17:37] But it… You know, and I told him that I got kind of to the point where I was like, I want nothing to do with like, I’m not going to fight you for the house, I’m not going to keep it. Like you go ahead and refinance it in your name. That’s fine. It was- it was just one of those, like it was a lot to walk away from, you know? And I’m kind of sitting here now, though, like reading those same articles as you and like really wondering, is it even worth it to buy a house? Because when you’re renting and your refrigerator breaks, you don’t pay for that. Your landlord pays for that.
Chris Gethard [00:18:12] Sure.
Caller [00:18:13] Like, our A/C is about to die I think. Our H-VAC thing is going to die next year in this house that I’m renting right now. And the beautiful thing is, I don’t have to pay the fifteen thousand dollars to replace it.
Chris Gethard [00:18:24] And that’s a wonderful thing. And look, I’m in a house with a septic tank, and if it ever goes, I’ve been told it could cost anywhere from 30 to 50 thousand dollars to replace. It’s terrifying.
Caller [00:18:35] Oh my gosh.
Chris Gethard [00:18:35] It’s terrifying. And I’m with you. But I can also say this. The other side of that coin is I know that when I when when I bought my co-op in queens, which is when I switched from renting into to ownership, when you, when you when you’re… When you’re giving your money over to a bank and you know that, I mean, banks are scummy in their own right, but you know, it’s also not some like landlord who’s doing who knows what with your money and you realize, Oh, this actually comes back to me someday and my house is now- your house is kind of just like a pretty stable savings account in a way, that’s a good feeling, too.
Caller [00:19:12] That’s true. That’s totally true.
Chris Gethard [00:19:14] That being said, you’re not wrong that- my wife has long hair, oh my goodness… I’m telling you every, I would say probably two or three times a year- and she’s going to kill me. I shouldn’t even say this. Should I say this? Listen…
Caller [00:19:27] Are you going to talk about the drains?
Chris Gethard [00:19:29] These drains! These drains! I go in. I clear these trains when they get clogged, and I’m telling you when hair stops up a drain, it doesn’t come back out as hair.
Caller [00:19:44] No.
Chris Gethard [00:19:44] It comes out as like, goo and snakes. I don’t even know what’s going on in these drains. But man, I do miss the days when a landlord used to have to be the one to come in and clear the drains.
Caller [00:19:54] Oh, the hair drain monster. You know, I’m I’m experiencing that now, too. I’m growing my hair out. I kept it really short for a long time. And now it’s like normal beauty standard length hair, and it’s getting all over my drains, all over my shower. Have you seen those TikToks of those guys who get like the, that like show you like the little sculptures of their girlfriends make with their hair on the wall?
Chris Gethard [00:20:19] Now listen, I’m going to tell you something about me. Like I said, I’m Gen X slash millennial. Here’s how I know that probably I’m leaning a little towards that Gen-X side of the line is when you say a sentence to me that starts with, Have you seen those TikToks that…
Caller [00:20:33] Oh no!
Chris Gethard [00:20:34] I haven’t. I tapped out at Snapchat.
Caller [00:20:38] That’s okay.
Chris Gethard [00:20:38] Snapchat was the one when I was like, I actually don’t even understand what functionality this has. Like, I don’t understand the purpose it serves. But then my young cousin was on it all the time. I go, I’m just missing it. And then the weirdest thing happened, which is that I used to actually be kind of notoriously- like in the comedy scene I was known as someone who really used social media to build a cult fanbase and like, circumvent the system. Snapchat comes out. Not only do I not get Snapchat, all of a sudden I no longer understood Twitter or Facebook. I just got bad at all of it.
Caller [00:21:09] Oh no.
Chris Gethard [00:21:10] Yeah. So I didn’t see the TikToks, but there’s TikToks about the drains? The drains are disgusting.
Caller [00:21:15] Yeah, well, there’s TikToks about like these boyfriends who like, well, they’ll take videos of like their girlfriends hairpieces in the shower and like how you accumulate your hair on the wall and make little shapes into it.
Chris Gethard [00:21:28] I got no problem. And look, I’m I’m the gross one in our house and I live with a two and a half year old, OK. And I’ve had to step up my cleaning game. I, I, I’ve had to learn, living with my wife, how to actually like, you know, I only ever had male roommates. I grew up with a brother. I’m gross. I’ve had to learn and I’m still learning. But this drain situation. This hair gets in these drains and then you clear these drains. It’s like it’s like looking into the heart of darkness, the stuff that comes out of those drains. And let’s pause right there, because I’ll stand by that. I think the worst substance in the world is whatever’s going on in that drain, OK? And I’m telling you guys, the details that are going to- based on how chatty this has been thus far- the details that are going to keep pouring out are going to blow your mind. You’re not going to want to miss it. We’ll be right back. Thanks again to all of our advertisers. Now let’s go ahead, get back to the phone call. This hair gets in these drains and then you clear these drains. It’s like it’s like looking into the heart of darkness, the stuff that comes out of those drains.
Caller [00:22:52] I think there are these like these things, though, that you can put in the in your drain plug? Like, it’s like a little mushroom. I think it was on Shark Tank.
Chris Gethard [00:23:00] I’ve heard about these. Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Is this the thing some guy who had like a wife and three daughters invented it?
Caller [00:23:08] I think so. I think so. And he comes on and he’s like living with girls sucks. Thumbs down. And then like gives them like the tub mushroom as the product.
Chris Gethard [00:23:19] Now. Let me go ahead and ask you, because you’ve described a living situation now that is unique to me. So you live with your partner. You have one room in a house and then your five year old has a bedroom.
Caller [00:23:36] Mm-hmm.
Chris Gethard [00:23:36] And how many other bedrooms are there in this house and how many other occupants?
Caller [00:23:41] Right, so we have, uh, uh, technically a three bedroom townhouse, but we’re actually using the third bedroom as an office space since I work remotely and everybody else- well, my partner and one of our roommates is a student. Um, so we have like two bedrooms, office space, and then we’re using the basement as the other bedroom space for the our two roommates who are thankfully a couple because otherwise it would be weird for them to share a room together.
Chris Gethard [00:24:11] So it’s you, your partner, a five year old, and then another couple.
Caller [00:24:17] Mm-hmm. And we have two dogs.
Chris Gethard [00:24:19] And two dogs. So this other couple, when they’re out on the town and talking to people and catching up and and… they can say, Oh yeah, one of my roommates is five. They can say that with a straight face. That’s a true fact about their life.
Caller [00:24:33] Oh yeah, oh yeah, completely, completely. And it’s funny, you know, like I I I definitely recognize it’s a very strange and I’m fortunate that it’s working this way situation because I don’t know too many 20 year olds who would willingly be like, Oh yes, I’ll live with a five year old. If you want to put Bluey on the TV show, like, that’s fine.
Chris Gethard [00:24:56] Do they hang out? Do they have a relationship with your son?
Caller [00:24:59] Yeah, yeah. Like he, you know, my kid’s really outgoing. Like he- and because he’s an only child, like, he’s very used to adopting my friends as his own friends, so he doesn’t really understand that it’s like unusual to be friends with adults. So he, yeah, like they hang out. I came home- no, I was home. I went upstairs. I came back downstairs and he was sitting on the couch with one of her roommates, like both of them were playing games on their phones. My son was on my phone. He doesn’t have his own phone. And he had like his legs draped over my roommate like they were, had been best friends for years. It was completely hilarious.
Chris Gethard [00:25:32] So he’s just chilling. And then what um like I know, during the pandemic, my son has seen- you know, we’re able- we didn’t- weren’t comfortable putting him in daycare. So he luckily we moved to this new neighborhood and there’s kids. So he has been around kids in this sort of, you know, people we trust. Couple of them are his age, but by and large, he hangs out with our friends as an only child. Does your son interact with other five year olds well, or do you feel like he sits here and is like, What’s these people’s problem? They don’t- they don’t know how to talk about cheese and wine like you and all our friends in our early to mid 20s.
Caller [00:26:12] Yeah. So he he does other kids really well. You know, like during the pandemic, we live pretty close to a playground. So like we go to the playground. Before my partner and I were vaccinated, we were especially really careful about like, you know, wearing masks outside and everything. But yeah, he plays with other kids really well. He’s actually really funny. He I’ve noticed this pattern with him where he picks out like the kid in the group of kids at the playground who, like the other kids don’t want to play with. Like, usually they’re they’re kids who are neurodivergent. Um, and he’ll pick them out and he’ll be like, I’m going to play with you. So he is a really, I’ve not taught him to do this.
Chris Gethard [00:26:53] He rallies around the underdogs.
Caller [00:26:55] Mm-hmm. He really likes underdogs, I think, because he knows that they’ll listen to him talk.
Chris Gethard [00:27:01] So he’s he’s chatterbox.
Caller [00:27:03] He’s such a chatterbox. He has so many things to say. But I mean, when COVID was really bad, too, like, not that it isn’t so bad now, but before we had like a solution to it, I was really thankful to have- I have two younger sisters who are actually only a few years older than my son, so we I took him over to play with them a lot.
Chris Gethard [00:27:25] How old are your sisters?
Caller [00:27:27] I have one who’s about to turn six and one who just turned eight.
Chris Gethard [00:27:31] You have a six year old sister and a five year old son?
Caller [00:27:33] Yes. I’m the oldest of eight kids. They’re my, they’re my full sisters.
Chris Gethard [00:27:40] Full sis-You saw that that’s the next question. Half sisters? You saw that coming.
Caller [00:27:44] That is the question I get asked. Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:27:47] Well, another question I’m sure you get asked, if you’re the oldest of eight and you got married as young as you did, with home ownership, I do have to ask a question that comes up sometimes on the show. Did you come from a religious background?
Caller [00:28:01] No. And that’s also incredibly funny. I was raised agnostic. My parents are agnostic. But they got married really young, too. Like I, I think they got married when my mom was 20. I got married when I was 20. So it was, I don’t know. I guess it was a thing that I had, just like thought in my brain was normal, even though nobody, like tried to teach me that. But it didn’t come from a religious origin at all.
Chris Gethard [00:28:27] Normal. That word’s overrated. Normal? That word can blow away like trash in the wind. What’s normal? There’s no normal. I’ve learned that. Were you and your mom pregnant at the same time? Was there crossover?
Caller [00:28:41] Hmm-mm. There is a year and 10 days between my, my son and my sister. So I got pregnant three months after my sister was born.
Chris Gethard [00:28:49] And did you OK, this is… You’re so laid back and I feel like me and you are able to just kind of like, shoot the breeze. Pretty laid back. So I got to get to work on these questions though because we don’t have- We’re, we’re almost halfway done. This is- the math on this. So did you get married and then get pregnant? Or can I ask if you got married in response to getting pregnant?
Caller [00:29:14] Neither, but I didn’t get pregnant, I didn’t get married and then pregnant. I got, I had my son um so it was- it was like a weird, uh I’m going to tell the whole story. So I uh when I was 19- 18, when I was 18, I left and lived in India for six months. And I did it by myself. It was like a whole like Eat, Pray, Love, find yourself type journey. But the thing that really stuck out to me and made me feel really lonely and sad while I was there was I saw all these families who were traveling. Like families from other countries were traveling together and like, I had this like sadness. It was like a jealousy, but not a mean jealousy. It was like sad jealousy that they always had somebody to be with them. And so I came back and I had never wanted kids before that point, and I came back and I was like, I want babies. And so I got back together with my ex-boyfriend, who I left at home in the United States and we made a baby. And you know, I don’t regret my son at all, like ever. Like he is incredible. But definitely that was… It was a move that was not based out of love for my partner as much as it was based out of wanting, wanting another part of me.
Chris Gethard [00:30:40] So that, I mean, that’s that’s quite unique, quite unique by these standards for someone that young to go, but all based on your values, all based on life experience going, I want to have a kid. I want to have that person there with me. I want to have a person to be there with. So then… It actually sounds then like the more unexpected thing or the less planned thing was eventually marrying your baby’s dad, it sounds like. Tell me if I’m right or wrong, but from what you just told me, it was, let’s get back together because I want a baby. And then after a certain point, it developed into more than that. And led to a marriage.
Caller [00:31:20] Yeah, it seemed like the thing that, um, it was like it felt like it was the thing that was expected for me to do. You know, like, we had a kid together, so we should get married to each other. And my mom brings this up all the time. She’s like, I didn’t tell you to do that. And she didn’t. But it it seemed like the expectation from like the rest of society was that we were then supposed to get married. So that was kind of just how it went.
Chris Gethard [00:31:50] Right. And it sounds like you were… I mean, based on how you’re- even the tone you have now and how you’re speaking about it, like there, you think looking back on it, you’re maybe convincing yourself that that was the move. But maybe in your gut.
Caller [00:32:04] Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:32:04] Maybe in your gut it wasn’t.
Caller [00:32:07] No. And I I mean, I think that I made an informed decision that wasn’t the best decision to make even with the information. But then at the same time, like after after we got married, he started getting really into this kind of cult type thing and that was not discussed before we got married.
Chris Gethard [00:32:27] Oh boy.
Caller [00:32:28] So that was that was kind of a deal breaker.
Chris Gethard [00:32:32] What kind of- are we talking like a religious cult or a wellness cult or what’s the- what’s the broad strokes on this cult? There’s a few different kinds of cults out there.
Caller [00:32:41] Yeah, it’s religious. And it’s like it’s a cult kind of in the way that like it rejects like traditional religious leaders. Like you don’t listen to a priest or a rabbi, you listen to this guy who makes videos on YouTube who decided that he was an authority. And apparently you pay money to him and he sends you literature based off of his own ideas.
Chris Gethard [00:33:04] Uh-Huh. Yeah. And… If you’re already feeling maybe there was some pressure to head in this direction and then on top of it, you’re going in now, I don’t know that my son needs to be raised exactly in an environment around this. I get I get how that, you know, you need to head in some different directions. With all that being said, does he still have a presence in your son’s life?
Caller [00:33:28] Yeah, yeah, he does. We have a pretty steady visitation schedule. Like, it’s… It was one of those things where if if he continued to be a positive presence in our son’s life, I wasn’t going to fight it. You know, like we could believe different things and that would- it’s a strong indicator that we shouldn’t be together, but he’s overall a pretty good dad. So I don’t I don’t have a reason to combat it.
Chris Gethard [00:33:53] I got to say. So you hear about someone who’s 25, raising a five year old. Divorced. Living with multiple roommates and a kid, and that- all the bullet points of that are someone who historically you might judge just based off the bullet points to go, this sounds like someone who doesn’t have their act together. But then I’m speaking to you and consistently, I get the sense that you have your act together remarkably well. So kudos to you.
Caller [00:34:20] Oh, thank you.
Chris Gethard [00:34:20] That’s the sense I get.
Caller [00:34:20] I don’t feel like that all the time, but it’s nice to hear.
Chris Gethard [00:34:23] Well you tell me. I could be wrong. Who knows? I might be wrong, but I’m just sitting here going, everything you’re saying is reasonable. You’re talking about switching careers to something you’re more comfortable with. I got to ask… When you are having playdates between your son and your sister… Who… Does your son call her his aunt?
Caller [00:34:50] No, so we’re we’re struggling with the correct terminology. That is the part that is really weird. Because we spend a lot of time with my family.
Chris Gethard [00:35:00] Yeah.
Caller [00:35:00] So he’s very aware that I’m his mom, but because my siblings all call me my name, he calls me my name. Like my first name. Like, he doesn’t call me mom.
Chris Gethard [00:35:08] I get the sense you might not mind to that, just based on the things you said so far. Maybe you do. I don’t know.
Caller [00:35:13] Yeah, no. Like, I’m not going to push him to say something just because it makes me feel comfortable. Like that’s silly. So, yeah, and like my name is my name, everybody else calls me that. So.
Chris Gethard [00:35:25] So he never calls you, mom?
Caller [00:35:26] There’s… No, but he will say my mom when he was referring to me. So he knows who I, like, what my relationship is to him. But then he doesn’t like the concept of niece and nephew is really strange. Like, and he sometimes gets it. And then sometimes he’ll call my sister his, his cousins. And then sometimes he’ll call them his sisters. And there is, you know, we were at my parents’ house and he was like referring to my parents as our like our both parents. And I was like, Not really, but that’s kind of funny, too.
Chris Gethard [00:36:00] Uh huh.. Uh huh.. And how close do you live to your your, your mom and dad and family?
Caller [00:36:12] I mean, we were we were fortunate enough to find this house that we’re renting currently, it’s about five minutes away from my parents. And they help a lot with childcare.
Chris Gethard [00:36:19] Are your son and your parents going to go to, no- are your son and your sister going to go to the same school?
Caller [00:36:26] No, I was I was homeschooled. All of my siblings were and are homeschooled, so they won’t be going to the same school as my son. But he’s he’s actually starting kindergarten next week.
Chris Gethard [00:36:39] So he’s going to public school. Your sister’s going to be home schooled. OK, I’m not judging because you, like I said, you strike me as someone who has your act together. Hearing that you went to India when you were 18. Hearing that you’re… You were raised agnostic and home schooled. Your parents are still having kids. I say this judgment free, but purely out of curiosity… I mean, your parents have a story too, huh? There’s something there to be spoken of.
Caller [00:37:06] My parents or my partner?
Chris Gethard [00:37:07] Your parents. But we’ll get to the partner. Believe me, I got a list. But we’ll start with your parents.
Caller [00:37:11] Oh, it’s okay. I was just clarifying. Yeah, I don’t. So my my parents were high school sweethearts. They went to public school. They met in high school. But my mom, she and her sister are eight years apart. And so and her parents are divorced, so she always kind of felt like very alone. So her motive was when she, like when she was a teenager even, like she wanted a big family. She wanted a lot of kids. And that’s part of the reason that I was born when my mom was so young was because she, she was like me and wanted a person to be her person. And that’s how I came into the world. And then, you know, she convinced my dad that they should just keep having kids. And I think my my fourth brother is a twin with my fifth brother… No, my third brother is a twin with my fourth brother. I got mixed up.
Chris Gethard [00:38:08] OK, OK?
Caller [00:38:08] And after that, after number five, my dad was just kind of like, yeah, let’s just like, I’m not worried about how many there are. And that’s how six, seven and eight happened.
Chris Gethard [00:38:19] And then home schooling a kid- are your parents like, are they like hippies? Are they…?
Caller [00:38:24] Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:38:25] Yeah. That’s the shorthand answer, right? we’ve got a couple, a couple of hippies raising you.
Caller [00:38:30] Yeah, I know that some people are offended by the word, but it doesn’t- I’ve always used the word hippie positively, probably because I was raised by hippies. But they’re very much like they’re the parents who like when I was a teenager, like, they’d come over and they’d be like, We got to like smoke weed in private. And no, like, we can go smoke with my parents. Like, it’s fine. They’re like those kinds of hippies. Like really like alternative, like, you have a cold, I’m going to give you an herbal tincture type people.
Chris Gethard [00:38:56] Now, are you saying there’s times where like you put your son- like, let’s say maybe your son’s hanging out at your folks’ house, they’re helping out with childcare, your son’s been playing with your sister all day. Hits nighttime, your sister and your son go to bed… And then you turn to your mom and you’re like, we’re both stressed out, maybe we should both eat an edible and chill.
Caller [00:39:19] Yes, that has happened. I try to stay away from edibles. They like super wack me out. But definitely like, you know, my parents have- in their yard, they have like a big patio with a firepit, and we’ll sit around with some of my, my older younger siblings who are of of age. And, you know, we’ll pass around a bowl.
Chris Gethard [00:39:39] So you put your son to bed and your mom puts your sister to bed and they are effectively the same age. And then you guys might just like, trade off on the one hitter to relax at the end of the night.
Caller [00:39:51] Yeah, yeah, that’s that’s a pretty regular Friday for us.
Chris Gethard [00:39:56] This is wild. You understand this is wild, right?
Caller [00:39:59] It’s it’s yeah, it’s what I hear a lot is that it’s wild. It’s a really unconventional, like, weird life. And I I don’t know. I think that’s like, but I’m thankful, though, that my mom is my mom friend because I have kind of trouble connecting with other moms, I think in part because of all of the things that we’ve been talking about.
Chris Gethard [00:40:21] Of course.
Caller [00:40:22] Yeah. So, you know, I’m I’m thankful to have that.
Chris Gethard [00:40:27] And did you go to college?
Caller [00:40:31] Mm-hmm. Um, I because I was home schooled, I started college at a young age. I graduated high school when I was 15 and I started community college and got my associates when I was 18. And then.
Chris Gethard [00:40:43] And then you went to India for a while.
Caller [00:40:44] I… Well, I transferred to a four-year university before that, and I absolutely hated it. It was like a like I was a big fish in a small pond and then I was like a regular, regular sized fish in a big pond, and I was like, this is uncomfortable. I hate it. So I intentionally flunked out. I told my mom about it. Told her I was running away to North Carolina, and she was like, That’s incredibly stupid. If you’re going to run away, you need to run away somewhere cool. So then I went to India because that was that was cool.
Chris Gethard [00:41:13] So your mom’s response wasn’t like, hold on, let’s like double down, get you back in love with education, refocus and find a way to make you love this. It was, if you’re going to- if you’re going to jettison this side of life, why would you do it in a boring way?
Caller [00:41:31] Right. Right, and no offense to North Carolina at all, but like objectively, it’s- fewer stories can can come from moving, you know, a couple of states away.
Chris Gethard [00:41:40] Yeah, I mean, North Carolina is great. I’ve had great times there. I love Richmond. I hear Asheville would be a town built for me. I’ve had I’ve had great time. Chapel Hill, great times in that state, but it’s not India. So your mom encouraged- your mom was like, Go, if you’re going to go find yourself, you go do it in India.
Caller [00:41:58] Yeah, absolutely. And I’m thankful that I did. It was a really cool experience. And when I came back like people that I hadn’t previously got along with. They were like, You know, you changed. They were like, It changed you and made you a better person. And I was able to build connections with people that I hadn’t previously been able to.
Chris Gethard [00:42:17] I love this story. I love it. When you’re homeschooled, are most of your friend group your siblings in your case, because there were many of them?
Caller [00:42:29] Yeah. And that was part of like… I was I was really awkward, I think probably until I got my first job in the foodservice industry, because I wasn’t used to interacting with people who at the very least weren’t, you know, raised in the same like kind of weird way that I was. But yeah, I was mostly used to just interacting with my siblings and like a few stray homeschoolers here and there. I didn’t have like close friends, really, like growing up. I had my brothers.
Chris Gethard [00:43:03] Let’s pause right there. I need more accounts of the homeschooling experience. If you’re out there and you’ve been home schooled you should call the show sometimes. Leave a voicemail at 802-392-3288. So many stories out there we still got to hear. Hear the rest of this one when we get back. Thanks again to everybody who advertises on the show. Now let’s finish off the phone call.
Caller [00:43:28] I didn’t have like close friends really like growing up. I had my brothers.
Chris Gethard [00:43:33] I feel like this is one of those episodes that everybody listening to it is just going like every step of the way it’s just gooing, oh damn, didn’t see that coming either! This one’s pretty laid back for so many, so many unexpected specifics. So now… You run away to India. You got your associates degree. Working in government contracting. Want to switch to non-profits. How much younger is your partner than you?
Caller [00:44:01] He’s two years younger than I am.
Chris Gethard [00:44:02] Two years, so that’s 23?
Caller [00:44:06] Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:44:07] And how long have you been together?
Caller [00:44:10] We’ve been together a little over a year, but we’ve been we’ve been friends for about seven years.
Chris Gethard [00:44:15] Friends for about seven. Oh, so you were friends with him before your son was even born?
Caller [00:44:20] Yeah, yeah, that was the weird part, because like I hear people- stories about people who are navigating dating with kids and like, how long do you wait to let your new partner meet your kid? And all that stuff. And I was like, But he already knows him. Like, how do you- how do you set a boundary when the boundary didn’t have to exist before because they knew each other? Like he knew my son when he was a baby. There’s a video of my kid crawling around his apartment.
Chris Gethard [00:44:44] And that would have been when he was six, or no, when he was 18?
Caller [00:44:50] Yeah, yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:44:51] So how do you get together? Who brings it up? Who? Who kind of reveals the crush? Is he come- is he hitting on you? You hitting on him?
Caller [00:45:00] It was- so we were so honest about it, though, for such a long time. Like like we got closer after my separation and we were both so honest before then. Like I was like, You know, I’m not attracted to you, like, I think you’re an attractive person, but I’m not attracted to you. And that’s what makes it really cool to be your friend, etc. Like we could just like we could tell each other everything, and we could be honest about it because we were both open about, like, not liking each other in that way. And, you know, last year, at some point I was at his apartment and he was making lasagna from scratch and I looked over at him and I was like, Holy Moly.
Chris Gethard [00:45:36] Wait, from scratch. So he made the pasta- he made the noodles himself?
Caller [00:45:40] He made noodles from scratch. Like, that’s a very attractive thing for a person to do.
Chris Gethard [00:45:43] The flour? From the flour?
Caller [00:45:45] Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:45:46] Wow. Yeah, that’s a that’s that’s not- that’s no joke. So he’s he’s make- that’s what does it.
Caller [00:45:53] Yeah, that was what did it.
Chris Gethard [00:45:53] You’re like physically- physically I’ve never been blown away by you, but I’m watching you um kneed- I’m watching you kneed dough and crank it out into lasagna strips and this is starting some- there’s feelings churning that I never expected.
Caller [00:46:08] Yeah, pretty much. So so I made a move. That next day.
Chris Gethard [00:46:14] You made a move the next day.
Caller [00:46:16] Yeah.
Chris Gethard [00:46:17] And at this point, he’s 22. He’s well aware that you have a son who’s approaching school age. It’s a lot for a 22 year old to wrap his head around.
Caller [00:46:30] Yeah, it’s it’s wild.
Chris Gethard [00:46:33] Yeah, tell me how that went.
Caller [00:46:34] Yeah. I mean, I’m thankful for him, right? Like he he kind of just takes everything that’s like in my tornado and he just goes with it. Like, like, if I’m a tornado, he’s a balloon. He’s just there, like totally going with the wind. It’s great. Um, like everything I throw at him, he’s like, Yeah, let’s do that. Then he’s taken this like step dad-ish role pretty well in stride. You know, he interacts with my kid really well and he’s, you know, figuring it out. And he told me recently, it actually makes him really happy to have to have us to, like, come home to from work. It’s really cute.
Chris Gethard [00:47:16] Hmm. That’s amazing. I mean, and that and I now can speak from experience. One of the feelings that I did not know that now I know is when you see someone get along with your kid or go out of their way for your kid or you see your kid find some trust and some joy in another person, that’s just one of those feelings that there’s not really words for.
Caller [00:47:41] That’s really special.
Chris Gethard [00:47:42] Now you’re 25? You opted into taking on some, some aspects of life that your generation is notoriously waiting a little longer for as far as becoming a parent. As far as your partner goes, 22, now 23… I look back and I go, 22, 23, was I an adult? I was. Was I had an adult to the same degree that I am today? Not even close. It’s meant different things. Meant different things. And part of what it meant was freedom and staying up late and making making mistakes and and and partying. Do you feel like you’re- I want to almost filter it through the perspective of your partner. Do you feel like your partner still gets to be that? Because you did actively say, I want this and I’m going to go for it. And you went for it. So I don’t know if you also have those aspects to your life as well, but do you feel like your partner still gets to kind of be like as young and wild and dumb as a 23 year old gets to be? And I mean, no offense to 23 year olds, I’m jealous. I miss being young and wild and dumb in those ways.
Caller [00:48:55] I’m jealous of twenty three year olds in that way. I mean, I think that he probably doesn’t get to do it in to the same degree as other 23 year olds. And I think that’s fair to say. I do think that, you know, my custody schedule with my ex means that there’s, you know, at least one night a week that we are child free. And you know, it’s it’s like every Tuesday and then every other weekend. So there’s sometimes a bunch of nights a week that we’re child free, but he kind of does get to be a little a little more wild if he wants to be. But he’s definitely the character who is like, If you’re drinking, I’m going to be DD. Like, I won’t drink anything. Like he’ll volunteer to be that thing. And, you know, like, even before we got together, his idea of a wild night was like sitting around and playing board games and drinking inside. And I think that might have been like a character trait of pandemic life, but it was also it’s just kind of how he is.
Chris Gethard [00:49:55] Yeah, I mean, I guess it’s not so surprising to hear that somebody whose idea of a good time is making a lasagna from scratch might not also be the wildest. Do you… How do I phrase it? Just sounds like there’s so many beautiful sides to this, and it sounds like you see so many beautiful things about your partner that get magnified by his relationship with your son, and those things are incredible. Do you ever fear that there’s going to be resentment, or do you fear that he’s going to view it as a sacrifice? Do you address the sacrifice that he may or may not be making? Or they- you’ve said partner. I think you’ve said he, right?
Caller [00:50:31] Yeah, he’s a him. I I use partner instead of boyfriend because I feel like when you live with a person, like even if you’re not engaged or married to them it it’s kind of a step more than just somebody that you’re dating. So partner feels more comfortable to me. But… He like he… do I do I fear that he’ll be resentful? I fear that all the time. I’ve also expressed those fears to him. And the space that he’s in currently is he’s like, No, like everything that I do, I do because I want to be with you. And I make these calculated decisions. And like all of this, is just part of what comes with being with you, and I’m here for every second of it. And this is what he’s saying right now. It absolutely doesn’t mean in the future he could turn around and be like, Wow, you robbed me of my twenties. But I also don’t really think he is that kind of person. You know, I think that he’s a very thoughtful person.
Chris Gethard [00:51:29] When you bring stuff like this up and he turns around and goes, Everything I’m doing right now, I’m doing because I really want to be with you. Swoon.
Caller [00:51:38] Right? It’s so funny.
Chris Gethard [00:51:41] Swoon. Does he still cook for you?
Caller [00:51:45] Yeah, I told them not to make lasagna from scratch anymore, because that took away too long. We didn’t eat until 10 o’clock at night. But he does still cook for me. He’s a very good cook.
Chris Gethard [00:51:56] That’s awesome.
Caller [00:51:58] Yeah, yeah, it’s really funny, I think, to be in a relationship with somebody, you know, like, this is the first relationship I’ve been with, with a person who knows me. And like my mom was quizzing him the other night and she was like, you know, what was her first dog? Like, what was her, you know, first boyfriend’s name, etc. And he knew all of the answers. Like, this man listens to me? Holy holy Moly.
Chris Gethard [00:52:21] And that wasn’t the case with your your ex-husband.
Caller [00:52:25] Or any exes before that. I was not used to that. Men are capable of listening to you when you talk? That’s great. And I’m not putting you in this. Obviously, your job is to listen to people when they talk and you do a very good job.
Chris Gethard [00:52:37] I do. But then you know what? And then sometimes I can be a bonehead just like anybody else. And I think that’s part of why people like me on this show is because I’m not, I’m not sitting here using like a radio voice. And really, it’s just this is me, you know? Like and my wife I will say, sometimes it has really hurt Hallie’s feelings because there will be times where I screw up and she’ll go, You’re Mr. Empathy. Your whole public reputation is you’re the guy who talks to strangers on the phone and has deep conversations. And then I asked you to do two simple things, and you can’t even put them on a to do list and get them done. Like, you don’t listen. And so I mess up, too. I mess those things up. That’s part of it.
Caller [00:53:18] Yeah, but I think that like mistakes are- mistakes are okay as long as the the majority is good, right?
Chris Gethard [00:53:24] Right. Well, I feel like mistakes are OK as long as you go, and and what do I? What’s the takeaway? What do I learn? What do I learn about myself? Are there things that I can change? If not, can I be humble enough to recognize my flaws, my habits, my patterns? If I know that I have a pattern about dropping the ball in this way, can I try to compensate by like leaning harder into the things I am good at and being honest about that and going, Hey, I don’t know if I can come through on this, but I’m going to really come through on this? Start to have those conversations, right? Like, get realistic. Get the ego out of the way. Now we have seven minutes left, and I’m going to ask you a question that, just based on the fact that you’re a home schooled agnostic whose son is as old as your sister who smokes weed with your mom, who took a sabbatical to India, who’s already been married and divorced, who thinks maybe homeownership is not something you want to- right? I’m going to ask you a question that maybe a real can of worms. Seven minutes left.
Caller [00:54:35] Do it.
Chris Gethard [00:54:37] What do you think your future looks like?
Caller [00:54:40] Oh, my gosh. You know, I’d like it to be quieter than the last couple of years of this. Like less, maybe less tornadoes, maybe, maybe just like an afternoon breeze type situation. Man, I hope that whatever I’m doing in my future, that I am happy to tell people about who I currently am, you know? And that comes with probably a professional change, but also pride with wherever I’m living. Like the person I am with. Pride in my kids. I don’t put a lot of expectations in like, I’m going to live in this place and do this job and have these people. That doesn’t make sense to me because you honestly, you never know.
Chris Gethard [00:55:28] As a much more succinct answer than I expected from you. Well, you seem like somebody who has been raised and bought into the idea that life has possibilities. And I find myself very inspired by that.
Caller [00:55:42] Thank you. I feel that way for sure. And you know, the rest of my siblings have really jumped on that, too. They’re all kind of going in different directions, and that’s really exciting to see them do that.
Chris Gethard [00:55:52] Because you’re living a life that one would think brings with it an enormous amount of stress. And I’m sure it has its moments, but it doesn’t sound like those are the things you identify as the dominant ones.
Caller [00:56:05] Yeah. No, I mean, I’ve definitely struggled with anxiety and stress, but at the end of the day, you know, you kind of you, you do kind of look around and you go like, these are the things I have and these are the things that the things that I have create reasons that I’m grateful. And I, I am really grateful for everything.
Chris Gethard [00:56:25] Do you have any regrets?
Caller [00:56:29] If I could keep my kid and have him be exactly the way that he is, I might have picked a different human to make him with. But I know that realistically, that’s not possible because you can’t get the human that you have as a byproduct of another human.
Chris Gethard [00:56:43] Right. You got you got tangled up. You got tangled up in that.
Caller [00:56:48] Right. It’s fine, though. It’s it’s it’s the journey.
Chris Gethard [00:56:52] And look, and if he’s if he’s stepping up to- and you feel like he’s being a positive influence as a dad, it could have ended worse, right?
Caller [00:57:03] Completely, completely. So even there it’s a count your blessings situation. Even the cult could have been worse, I guess, right? It could have been like an in-person cult where they’d sacrifice goats or something.
Chris Gethard [00:57:14] You could have gotten sucked into the cult. You could have been forced to help sacrifice the goat. Who knows? Do you- do you think you’re going to have more kids or do you not think about that just yet?
Caller [00:57:26] No, I think about it all the time. Obviously, like coming from a giant family, it’s really hard for me to think about raising an only child. And for a while, I think I was feeling a lot of pressure to have another kid sooner rather than later to create that bond between the two. But I actually I have a friend who has a son who is 11 and then her next son after that is three. And that age gap between those two gives me a lot of confidence that even if there is a little wait in between having another kid, there can still be a really good bond. So it’s definitely and in the future thing. But you know, not currently working on that.
Chris Gethard [00:58:02] Plus, he hang out with his aunts. He can hang out with his aunts.
Caller [00:58:05] Absolutely. Yeah, he’s not. He’s not totally alone.
Chris Gethard [00:58:07] Now, it’s funny because I’ve been joking with you about that, but actually my mom’s family, uh her youngest sister was raised alongside her oldest sister’s kids. So my, my aunt my cousins kind of treat each other more like siblings… Because of a very similar scenario.
Caller [00:58:27] Yeah, it’s awesome, it’s I think it’s more common than than what we think it is.
Chris Gethard [00:58:33] I think so. I think it’s probably just it’s probably, you know, it’s viewed as a little bit more of a head scratcher, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. And as long as the kiddos are happy, as long as the kiddos are happy, that’s what matters, right?
Caller [00:58:48] Exactly, exactly.
Chris Gethard [00:58:51] When you got more job interviews lined up? When are you going to get away from this situation where people are viewing you as a slimeball?
Caller [00:59:03] So that was my only job interview that I’ve had so far. Nobody else has reached out. I’m going to keep applying, but man, like if you have any strategies that you can share, I’m here to hear them because I like I’m scouring LinkedIn and Indeed for opportunities. And I’ve applied to like 20 different jobs and only gotten one bite.
Chris Gethard [00:59:23] Well, if there’s one thing I know a lot about as someone who’s spent 20 years managing to just land on my feet as an artist, it’s how to navigate a traditional job market. Sarcasm. I don’t know how to help on that one. I’m sorry.
Caller [00:59:37] It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll keep looking. And in the meantime, you know, it could be worse. I know that there are a lot of people out there struggling right now, so I’m thankful to at least have have a job.
Chris Gethard [00:59:48] Now, minute and a half left. Your son comes to you in 13 years. Says I want to drop out of school. Where should I go on my sabbatical? And also, I think maybe I want to have a child. What do you say?
Caller [01:00:05] Oh, well, I would, you know, obviously recommend India for his sabbatical. But you know, I would support anywhere, anywhere for him to go. Um, I would tell him to take the sabbatical before having a kid, cuz the other way around is a little awkward. Traveling with a newborn. Yeah, I mean, I think the response is the response that I got right? I’ll support you in what you want to do, you know? X, Y and Z can make life a lot easier for you, but ultimately you have to do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. And if you think you can do it, I can help you get there.
Chris Gethard [01:00:41] I. I can say… For as unusual as many of aspects of this feel… I get the sense your son is very lucky to have you as a mom. And I feel better having spoken to you today. I really mean that.
Caller [01:01:02] Thank you. I’m so excited I got to talk to you today. This is this is really like the highlight of my month.
Chris Gethard [01:01:08] Well, holy moly, I didn’t see any of this coming.
Caller [01:01:12] Holy Moly. I want to hear more thank you, Sally’s on future episodes.
Chris Gethard [01:01:22] Caller, thanks so much. I think you’re like cool. Probably like one of the cooler people that I’ve ever spoken to in my life. That was pretty chill. Thanks for calling up. Talking to me. I feel relaxed for some reason. You described stuff that should be stressful. I’m very relaxed right now. Thank you. And thank you to Anita Flores who produces the show. Thank you to Jared O’Connell and Marcus Hahm who engineered the show. Out theme song is by Shellshag. You want to know more about me, including tour dates? ChrisGeth.com. If you want to go ahead and help the show, one thing you can do, hit subscribe, favorite, follow, whatever version of that button your podcast listener has, it’s a huge help when you do so. Thanks in advance. You can find our latest merch at PodSwag.com. We’ve got mugs, shirts, posters and more. You can find ad free episodes of Beautiful/Anonymous along with a ton of other great shows over at Stitcher Premium. Use promo code stories for a one month free trial. Stitcher.com/Premium. (THEME SONG)
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