May 21, 2018
This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression.
113 — Irish Wake
[00:01:23] CHRIS: Hello, all you Atlantic City pianists, it’s Beautiful Anonymous one hour, one phone call, no names, no holds barred.
[00:01:36] THEME MUSIC: I’d rather go one-on-one. I think it’ll be more fun and I’ll get to
know you and you’ll get to know me.
[00:01:46] CHRIS: Hello everybody, Chris Gethard here. Coming at ya. Welcome to another episode of Beautiful Anonymous. Recording today in the Chris Gethard Show offices, Jarden and Harry were nice enough to come here so we could, we could work two jobs, two jobs at the same time. You might hear a little street noise background talk in here. I do apologize on that, but you get to hear the real sounds of New York City twenty eighteen. How about that, it’s found audio is what they call that. Want to thank everybody who’s part of the Beautiful Anonymous Facebook group. Everybody really did enjoy last week’s episode. Thank you so much for that. Quiet rage one seemed to hit. Seems like a lot of people right now feeling inhibited and that episode seem to get through, had a feeling that one might strike a chord in this current era of time. Also, I will tell you, we’ve talked about it. The at the level of of fun, which you guys are all having with the English’s, the thomas’ English muffin hits. It makes me laugh really hard. And I can’t believe it never has an an ad campaign on this show gotten such a funny, strange response. Sam de Harge actually in the Everybody Knows Sam Jay is one of the moderators of the Beautiful Anonymous the community on Facebook, which is coming up, by the way. And 30000 members, almost 30000 people in that group should join up, talk about episodes, talk about other stuff. It’s fun kind place. Sam Jay spearheaded a thomas’ English Muffins fan fiction contest. Wanted to congratulate Facebook users scraggly whisker tind. I don’t know if that’s your real name Scraggly, but scraggly whiskers tind wrote some fan fiction fantasizing what it would be like to have me eat an English muffin in their kitchen. And it won the Thomas’ English muffin fan fiction contest. You can read all the entries over there in the Beautiful Anonymous Facebook group. Thanks for checking that out. Also, I’m probably coming to your town. That’s a nice Segway. We’ve got dates coming up. Chris Geth dot com. I got the whole tour up there. Now all the cities we’ve added Montreal and Syracuse and Tempe and many more. January 2nd, Bloomington, Indiana. January 3rd, Chicago, Illinois. Maybe I’ll see you guys there. Go to Chris Gethard dot Com. Links for all the tickets are right there. Let’s talk about this week’s episode. Very interesting circumstance, something we haven’t run into on the show before. There’s a call that was recorded a long while ago, actually, January of 2017. We don’t usually sit on our calls for this long because the caller actually reconsidered. asked us said I shared some emotional stuff and I don’t know totally if I feel right about having it all out there. And we said, of course. And we. And we pulled it. It was a call. The caller had lost someone recently, lost her her grandma. And, you know, we spend a lot of time chit chatting. It’s kind of a throwback to the very early days of the show where callers didn’t necessarily come in with an agenda of stories to tell us, things to talk about. But we ended up talking about a bunch of different topics that tried to cheer her up. And it kind of went in a bunch of different directions in a way I really loved. But the caller said, hey, I don’t want it out there. We said, that’s totally fine. We respect that. We’re awful laid back around here that we’re working on a new project actually coming up on Stitcher Premium maybe later this year. And it involved Jahren and Harry were actually trying to track down some prior callers using the call logs from prior calls. Reached out, didn’t realize that this caller was the one who had a call pulled, touched base with her, She said, you know what, I’m reconsidering. Let’s put it out. So you now have this call that was recorded a long while ago that kind of went into the ether and now it’s come back. Not only will you hear the call, stay tuned at the end of the episode, actually used it as an opportunity to the caller left a voicemail kind of explaining the whole situation from her perspective. And that’s at the end. And that’s very touching as well. You kind of get to hear with a year and change of of distance from when this happened, where the callers at today. So stay tuned at the end for that sort of an interesting, weird way for the whole call to come together and unfold. But ultimately, a call I really enjoyed and that I found pretty touching. I think you will too. Enjoy it.
[00:05:42] PHONE ROBOT: Thank you for calling Beautiful Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.
[00:05:50] CALLER: Hello
[00:05:51] CHRIS: Hello.
[00:05:53] CALLER: Is this geth?
[00:05:54] CHRIS: Yes. It’s Geth. Thank you for using my abbreviated
[00:05:57] CALLER: wow.
[00:05:58] CHRIS: Last name. Yeah
[00:05:50] CALLER: Wow. I can’t believe I finally got on with you. I’ve been trying for a long time.
[00:06:06] CHRIS: Well done. Congrats. Your moment has finally arrived.
[00:06:10] CALLER: Thank you
[00:06:12] CHRIS: Yeah. I’m psyched. I’m psyched. You got through too
[00:06:13] CALLER: Wow
[00:06:15] CHRIS: I’m psyched you got through as well.
[00:06:16] CALLER: Yeah, this is like surreal.
[00:06:21] CHRIS: It’s pretty surreal for me as well.
[00:06:23] CALLER: I guess It kind of goes with the week I’ve been having, I guess.
[00:06:27] CHRIS: Well, what’s that supposed to mean?
[00:06:31] CALLER: I guess kind of just like, I don’t want to say it in like a negative way, but a very like weird time of my life. I guess, it’s how a lot of things happen. A lot of changes, some good and some bad, but, like a whole new learning experience for me
[00:06:53] CHRIS: Well, I’m happy to
[00:06:54] CALLER: And
[00:06:55] CHRIS: I’m happy to listen to the good and the bad.
[00:07:02] CALLER: Sorry, I’m trying to get somewhere more private right now.
[00:07:06] CHRIS: OK. Why? Where are – are you at work?
[00:07:10] CALLER: Yeah, I’m actually working from home today. I’m just going to like a different part of the house. Yeah, I actually last week lost my grandma.
[00:07:25] CHRIS: Oh, I’m sorry
[00:07:27] CALLER: It really. Thanks. Yeah. She was a really close relative, a very close friend to me. So it’s really weird without her. We talked every day. We always face timed and. She was sick for a while so I mean I knew it was coming, but it’s still still a shock when it happens, you know?
[00:07:54] CHRIS: Yeah. I’m super sorry about that. I’m also I will say this also very, very impressed that your grandma was adept at face time. That speaks to her being a cool grandma.
[00:08:07] CALLER: Yeah. She definitely was. It’s weird cause I, we had like 60 years between us, but she is definitely like one of the people I was closest with like my entire life. So.
[00:08:20] CHRIS: That’s cool.
[00:08:21] CALLER: It feels weird
[00:08:22] CHRIS: Yeah. It’s so sad
[00:08:23] CALLER: Yeah
[00:08:24] CHRIS: but that’s cool that you had that relationship. I was I grew up like within a few blocks of all four of my grandparents. But I don’t I don’t think I was. I was close with them, but I wouldn’t say. It sounds like you were on like a genuine friend level. And I don’t know that I had that.
[00:08:38] CALLER: No even with them so close by?
[00:08:42] CHRIS: Yeah, Yeah, I mean, well, my my one grandfather was out of his goddamn gourd and my mom’s parents were very devout Catholics who were from Ireland. Like we. I wasn’t I wasn’t faced. Well, face time didn’t exist. I’m older than you, I think. But. Yeah.
[00:09:02] CALLER: Right.
[00:09:04] CHRIS: I’m sorry to hear that, that’s so sad.
[00:09:08] CALLER: Yeah. No it’s, it’s just been kind of a strange week. And I’ve never even lost anybody before. So to lose someone so close, it’s been really, really just an experience, I guess.
[00:09:22] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:09:23] CALLER: It’s just weird how quickly you like life seems to go on without, like, you know, we have to clean out her condo and.
[00:09:31] CHRIS: Yeah
[00:09:32] CALLER: I know. We had to arrange the funeral really quickly and. and just life then working a ton like the world moves on. I’ve had to work like almost 50 hours this week and. I mean, that’s good, though, that’s good cause I was just sitting at home kind of wallowing in sadness it wouldn’t be great
[00:09:52] CHRIS: Yeah. So you said she’d been sick for a while, so were you braced for this? Had she had she talked to you about this this potential or was it that was it something that was just kind of unsaid?
[00:10:02] CALLER: Yeah. She had had some heart problems for years and congestive heart failure. So eventually people who have it, it well, eventually, you know, wear down on them and wear their health down. But she really didn’t want to die like she wasn’t ready to die. She wasn’t like in that headspace. So she wasn’t feeling well last week. And we went we brought her to the doctor and. She ended up having to go to the hospital and she had kidney failure so they couldn’t give her these medicines that had helped her before. So the doctor kind of told us that there wasn’t really much more that they could do for her. So,
[00:10:48] CHRIS: Yeah
[00:10:49} CALLER: so then a couple days she seemed fine though you know, like she was mentally there. I think that’s the hard part is she was still herself and she wasn’t really out of it at all. There was just the physical part that she struggled with so
[00:11:04] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:11:05] CALLER: So I was kind of. Yeah. A little taken aback when she died last Wednesday morning. And I, it still felt so shocking because we were just talking, you know, the day before.
[00:11:16] CHRIS: Yeah. I’m so sorry.
[00:11:18] CALLER: No. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:11:21] CHRIS: So would
[00:11:22] CALLER: but it is better that she’s not, like, drawn out in pain?
[00:11:26] CHRIS: Of course. Yeah. What do you what would you like this phone call to, because you’re so you know, you’re you’re in a place of mourning. And I want to I want I want to just be here for you. So what what would help what do you, I mean, is it would you like to celebrate your grandmother? Tell me about her. Do you want to talk about the process of mourning someone close for the first time? Do you want me to act like an idiot and try to cheer you up? like there’s a lot of I don’t want to step on any tosses so this is really whatever you want it to be, you know.
[00:11:52] CALLER: Yeah. You know, I hadn’t really thought about that. I didn’t think I would even get through, you know, I was just kind of dialing for fun.
[00:12:03] CHRIS: And now you’re on the god damn hot seat
[00:12:05] CALLER: It can be – I know. Here I am. Yeah, no we can just, it can be about anything.
[00:12:12] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:12:13] CALLER: It doesn’t really, I don’t want to feel like a downer. Like mourning. Yeah, it’s just a different time. I’m kind of. Also, I’ve been moving back and forth quite a bit in the last year so, I was lucky to be in the place that I am right now, which was close to my grandma because I was a thousand miles away for the last couple months. So
[00:12:43] CHRIS: how come you moved so much?
[00:12:44] CALLER: I guess, Well, for my husband’s job. I’m able I work remote. So it hasn’t really affected my job at all, but, um, yeah, for my husband’s job. We moved to a different city last summer. And we were planning on staying there, but we’re actually moving again to another city this summer.
[00:13:10] CHRIS: And do you have kids? Do you have any kids?
[00:13:13] CALLER: No, no, no kids. I’m twenty five. We, We just got married a couple years ago.
[00:13:19] CHRIS: Congrats. You got married young.
[00:13:21] CALLER: Thank You. Yes.
[00:13:23] CHRIS: Young by the modern standard.
[00:13:25] CALLER: Yeah, young yeah, definitely. We were the first the pioneers among our friends
[00:13:31] CHRIS: That’s cool, that’s cool that your grandma got to know your your husband a little bit. That’s cool.
[00:13:36] CALLER: Yeah. She loves him. I mean, like he’s the kind of person that everybody loves. Yeah, they had a good relationship, too.
[00:13:45] CHRIS: That’s awesome. You know, I’ll tell you on my hand,
[00:13:54] CALLER: So, Have you ever.
[00:13:55] CHRIS: Oh, yeah. No, go for it.
[00:13:57] CALLER: Oh no, I was just gonna ask if you’ve ever, I don’t know, been through a similar situation. If you’ve lost anyone close to you and how you kind of dealt with it.
[00:14:06] CHRIS: Yeah, I’ve lost, I’ve lost a bunch of people. I want to say on my end to you, really let just let me know. You know, you let me know how we’re doing throughout this call, because I’ll tell you, I’ve had some really intense conversations throughout the course of the podcast. And this is the one that I feel sort of like most sensitive about because you’re in the middle of it and it’s something we all go through. And I don’t ever want to want to ever make you. I want to make this call a positive if I ever get if you’re ever like, hey, you’re making too many jokes right now cause you’re trying to, you know, entertainment value this one. Tell me. Cut it out. I’ll cut it out, OK?
[00:14:38] CALLER: OK, yeah.
[00:14:40] CHRIS: So yeah I have
[00:14:41] CALLER: don’t worry about offending me though. You don’t have to worry about it
[00:14:44] CHRIS: Fair. I’ve lost a number of people. I can tell you about my experiences because they were all hard. I lost my, my grandfather, my mom’s dead. His name was Paul. He was from Armagh in Northern Ireland. He was a tough, he was a tough dude. He was a cranky old man when I knew him, loved him. Everybody says I look just like him. So I have pictures of him. I might know what I’m gonna look like when I’m elderly because of him. This guy refused to die. He had like, I think, four heart attacks and two strokes before he finally kicked it. The guy just refused. He just was a he’s just a tough dude and. I think he was known, no no no my dad’s mom was my first grand, grandparents, by the way. That was when I was 7. She had a stroke. So I got to know her. But I was very young. And then I think next was my my dad’s father, who was a person who is actually sort of insane. And I loved them. He grew up across. I grew up across the street from him. And he was nuts. He used to. He once placed a fake skunk in my backyard and then knocked on my door at 7:00 in the morning in a panic, telling me there was a skunk. Then he threw it at me after he pretended to kill it. He was nuts, He was the best. He was nuts. Then my grandma passed away, my mom’s mom, and she was pretty silent, old lady. And then when she died, we found out all these crazy secrets about her. But that’s just kind of what being Irish Catholic is, is no one talks about anything. And then when they die, you hear all this crazy shit that you never could have imagined ever. So is my experience losing my grandparents?
[00:16:13] CALLER: oh my god
[00:16:15] CHRIS: Yeah. So all that
[00:16:16] CALLER: That’s actually the same thing
[00:16:19] CHRIS: Really?
[00:16:20] CALLER: the same experience i’ve had this last week
[00:16:21] CHRIS: Really?
[00:16: 22] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:16:22] CHRIS: What are you – are you?
[00:16:23] CALLER: Cause I’m Irish Catholic too.
[00:16:24] CHRIS: And you’re finding out all the real deal shit about your grandma, right?
[00:16:28] CALLER: Yes. Yeah. Like, unbelievable.
[00:16:31] CHRIS: And now I’m telling you, I know that’s overwhelming, but that is a thing that happens with all this. I had no idea till my grandma died. All these goddamn secrets came out. All sorts of crazy stuff. So you’re not alone in that. And I know it seems overwhelming. What are they? Can I add, Do you want to share any of the secrets you’re learning? I’ll share mine. But you I mean, you don’t have to.
[00:16:51] CALLER: Yeah. It is kind of like a, not a long story, but. Yeah. My uncle told me this after the funeral last week. I guess she had just told him like a couple months ago. And I guess she shared it with some other relatives our family that now, now we all kind of know. Yeah. Very. So she was very obviously like Irish Catholic, a very prim and proper stuff. You never expect anything really scandalous. But I guess so, she got married young. I think she was like 18. And to my grandfather. And. But then he went away for a while because he was in a war an, or in the army and he was away stationed in Europe. And So they kind of grew apart during that time, I think like four or five years. And so when he came back, they had both kind of been living very separate lives. But they made it work. They had my aunt and uncle and I guess she went to Atlantic City one weekend with some girlfriends and she met a man, a aspiring pianist, and they carried on this affair. For awhile
[00:18:18] CHRIS: your grandma had a scandalous love affair.
[00:18:20] CALLER: You know, I shouldn’t. Yes. Yeah, I guess she had.
[00:18:23] CHRIS: That’s so rad. That’s so rad.
[00:18:25] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:18:25] CHRIS: Were you like psyched when you
[00:18:26] CALLER: I shouldn’t say awhile. Yeah. It was like. Grandma? Are you sure? Is this real?
[00:18:34] CHRIS: With a pianist, She shacked up with some scumbag musician. I love it.
[00:18:39] CALLER: Oh yeah. It was just so funny. It’s just like so hard to imagine her like living this like ton of secrets or scandalous life that. Yeah
[00:18:50] CHRIS: I love that. I love that.
[00:18:54] CALLER: Yeah. And then my grandfather ended up dying like relatively young when they were in their forties. He died of a heart attack. And then I guess she tried to look him up after a couple years after it happened. But he had since passed away too
[00:19:10] CHRIS: the pianist.
[00:19:11] CALLER: I was like, oh, that’s sad. Yeah.
[00:19:13] CHRIS: Oh. So she was quietly pining for the pianist.
[00:19:16] CALLER: Yeah, I guess so.
[00:19:18] CHRIS: It’s like a movie
[00:19:19] CALLER: So, I mean, I guess it was during like a rough, rough patch in their marriage. And
[00:19:23] CHRIS: of course
[00:19:24] CALLER: they made up and then ended up having my mom. You know,
[00:19:28] CHRIS: there is that strange thing.
[00:19:30] CALLER: Yeah, It’s just.
[00:19:31] CHRIS: Don’t you feel like there’s that strange thing with your elderly relatives where it’s like, you know, you don’t you’re not psyched that someone you’d never say, oh, it’s cool that someone cheated and you don’t want your grandpa to be cheated on. But there is some element of finding out that an elderly person who you knew as one thing had that in them in the past. There is something beautiful about that, even though it is also clearly behavior that no one’s thrilled to condone.
[00:19:54] CALLER: Yeah,
[00:19:55] CHRIS: that’s cool.
[00:19:56] CALLER: Yeah That’s what I was thinking. I was like, you know, it’s not like something. I’m like, you know, cheering for or anything. But it’s just kind of funny to find out these other parts of their lives. And obviously, everybody’s does dumb shit when they’re young or
[00:20:10] CHRIS Yeah.
[00:20:10] CALLER: Things that they’re not proud of. Yeah, It was funny to kind of find out this other little world about her.
[00:20:19] CHRIS: Yeah. We found out my my grandma. She at one point was a nun and she peaced out on that. That we didn’t know, we didn’t know. The big one. Her. She was kidnapped as a child. She was kidnapped as a child!
[00:20:35] CALLER: Really?
[00:20:36] CHRIS: Yeah. Forced into domestic service by by her own grandma. Her grandma was holding her in the house making her cook and clean. And then her uncle broke her out and then nobody ever talked about it. And they all hung out because again. Irish Catholic. Dark. The darkest shit. The darkest shit. We just choose to let everybody just never, ever reference it and move on. That’s the Irish Catholic way.
[00:20:59] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:00] CHRIS: So how was her wake?
[00:21:02] CALLER: Wow
[00:21:03] CHRIS: I don’t mean this as a rude question. I think as an Irish an Irish American, you understand this question. Was her wake fun?
[00:21:08] CALLER: It Actually, I think it was like the nicest wake I’ve ever been to. Like, I felt weird saying that to my family when we got home. I was like, that was actually like a really well-done wake. I was like, a little weird thing to say, like it makes it sound like a party, but
[00:21:24] CHRIS: that’s how we do it,
[00:21:25] CALLER: kind of an agreement.
[00:21:26] CHRIS: I would, I would say that some of the most fun parties I’ve been to in my 36 years on earth have been Irish wakes. They get fun.
[00:21:34] CALLER: Really
[00:21:35] CHRIS: Everybody’s in the back
[00:21:36] CALLER: Yeah
[00:21:37] CHRIS: making jokes, everybody goes in the back making jokes. When my grandma died, my uncle, he really couldn’t handle it. He was the only son. And and God bless him, I love my uncle. But he I think he took an Ambien or something to try to get through it. And then he started like saying he had like many comments on Morticia, how they. He was like, this doesn’t even look like my mom. Who is this? Who is – what’s this? This is. What are they like? They did not do a great job making her. She didn’t quite look like herself. And my uncle had many a loud comment on that. And then it was pretty, And then everybody did it. Usually everybody goes back to somebodies house. People just get drunk. Irish wakes are fun. If you’re out there listening, you never been to an Irish wake. Do yourself a favor. Those and bar mitzvahs. To this day, super fun product. I think the most fun parties I’ve ever been to were bar mitzvahs when I was 13.
[00:22:32] CALLER: I just went to a bar mitzvah. Like a year ago. I’d never been to one before. But it was like a crazy nice party.
[00:22:39] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:22:40] CALLER: I was this is like a 13 year olds birthday party?
[00:22:44] CHRIS: my friend Brad Dogen had an ice sculpture of himself dunking a basketball. The most baller shit I’ve ever seen
[00:22:52] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. They go all out.
[00:22:55] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:22:56] CALLER: There are some fancy, fancy time.
[00:22:58] CHRIS: So wish I had a bar mitzvah, I had a confirmation. Just felt creepy.
[00:23:05] CALLER: you had a confirmation oh I never had a confirmation.
[00:23:08] CHRIS: Oh, yeah. You didn’t stick with the Catholicism thing too long then.
[00:23:11] CALLER: No No, actually, I had all the way I like until high school and then my church, my family’s church. They wanted the parents to start coming to the classes. Like that was part of it. And my parents were like, no, you’re done.
[00:23:28] CHRIS: that’s great
[00:23:30] CALLER: or bad. Geth. Yeah.
[00:23:30] CHRIS: My mom would have gone my dad would’ve been like, no thank you. Stay home. Watch Star Trek, the original series. So what else what else what else did you find out about your grandma or your theres memories? I can tell you more secrets about my my grandma apparently was friends with Eleanor Roosevelt. Who knew? Who knew?
[00:23:50] CALLER: Really?
[00:23:51] CHRIS: Yeah I guess
[00:23:52] CALLER: How did this friendship happen?
[00:23:53] CHRIS: No one’s quite sure the level of it or would have- My grandma had this habit of just quietly saying things under her breath. And one day I think somebody was watching PBS and there was something about the Roosevelts. My grandma is just like, oh she was a very nice lady. She was very good to me. And people were like, what are you talking about, Nan? And she was like, Oh, she was very kind. I met her, I guess my my grandma when she immigrated, she came from. She moved to Brooklyn first before Jersey. And I think the story I heard is that during the Great Depression. There are a lot of camps set up in upstate New York for city kids, and the boys would go to camps to learn. You know, like industrial skills and the girls would go to stay like to sort of like home ec camps, learn domestic skills. My grandmother went to one of these camps and I guess Eleanor Roosevelt had a lot to do with setting them up. And she visited and apparently heard my grandmother hit it off. And supposedly there were times where Eleanor Roosevelt came through New Jersey and would stop by to visit my grandma. I don’t know how much of this is true or how much is just cobbled together. Family legend. My grandmother was a very quiet, humble lady who apparently just dropped all this a few years before she died, just dropped all this knowledge.
[00:25:05] CALLER: Oh, my gosh.
[00:25:07] CHRIS: Yeah. Nobody messes around with the secrets.
[00:25:08] CALLER: That’s crazy
[00:25:09] CHRIS [music transition]: Nobody keeps a secret like an Irish Catholic. What else? What else? What? What else should I know about your grandma? She sounds like a cool lady. I want to hear more about this cool grandma. Looking forward to the answer to that question. But before we get to it, you know this show, we get to bring it to you for free every week. And that’s because we have a lot of kind sponsors who get behind this show. They have products, services they want you to know about them. I want you to know about them. Check them out. subscribe. They might be things that are right up your alley. We’ll be back with more calls right after this.
[00:25:45] [AD BREAK]
[00:28:01] CHRIS [music transition]: Thank you so much to our sponsors. Thank you, guys. Listen to this show. And we’ve got more show coming. Let’s hear more from this very nice young lady. What else? What? What else should I know about your grandma? She sounds like a cool lady.
[00:28:15] CALLER: She lived a really interesting life your know. Like just like I’m just thinking about our conversations over the years and all the places that she lived, like she lived in Europe she travel a bunch, she lived all over the United States. It’s just funny how it seems like a lot of people like me just stay in like one area and don’t end up moving. I mean, they had to move a lot because my grandfather was in the service. So I guess maybe maybe people still do. But what a very interesting life. But I guess all in all, she is just a really like a very genuine person. And she was very reliable, like even well into her 80s. I feel like she is just one of the most reliable people I’ve ever known. So I hope I can say that about myself well at least one day
[00:29:10] CHRIS: when you say that you and your grandma have like a friend level relationship, what’s the type of stuff you would share with your grandma that maybe I or other listeners aren’t sharing with their grandma? Why? Why would you say that it actually crossed over into a friend level beyond just the relation?
[00:29:26] CALLER: I guess like if I was stressed out with my job, I could kind of like vent to her and like she could understand. Like she was somebody that you could kind of vent to or tell your secrets to and know that they weren’t going to be spread to anyone else or that she wasn’t going to try to sway you in one direction or another. You know, like she was just really. Really, she was a good listener. When I was first getting married, I got really freaked out and I wasn’t sure if it was something, but even something I wanted to go through with. And she was there for me with that.
[00:30:10] CHRIS: That’s cool.
[00:30:11] CALLER: And again, like didn’t try to sway me in one direction or another, but it was just nice to have somebody, you know, that you could vent to who would just listen.
[00:30:25] CHRIS: Yeah, that’s nice. You had the, you had the cold feet,
[00:30:28] CALLER: Yeah I feel like
[00:30:29] CHRIS: you had the cold feet, huh?
[00:30:31] CALLER: Yeah, but I mean, I’ve since realized that almost everybody I know had cold feet. I mean, even if you’re excited about it, it’s a nerve racking thing. It’s a big. It’s a big life decision. Big thing.
[00:30:47] CHRIS Yeah.
[00:30:48] CALLER: It’s a lot of pressure
[00:30:49] CHRIS: I never had the cold feet. I had I had more of a gripping fear that my wife was gonna come to her senses and have the cold feet. My vows actually encouraged her. We got married in upstate New York. And I said, you know, we are in – We are in the mountains. These are literal hills. If you want to run for them, now is the time to do it. Very self-deprecating vows, kind of encouraging her to leave if she felt like it. And I said I would totally understand because I know who I am and I get it. I get if you want to. If you need to, if you need to split, now’s the time. My wife is also late to our wedding and on my whole family thought I was being jilted at the altar. They did.
[00:31:32] CALLER: No, really?
[00:31:33] CHRIS: Yeah, cause so we got married in the summer.
[00:31:35] CALLER: well, why was she late?
[00:31:36] CHRIS: OK. So we got married at the summer camp it was very, very DIY. Tried to save some money and she was going to get ready. And there was a big miscommunication cause she walked past our reception hall and realized that there was no silverware put out anywhere, but everybody else had already changed and was at the happy hour. So my wife, my poor wife on her own, put out all the silverware in the reception hall in a panic. And I thought she was getting ready. Now, here’s the secret spoiler alert. My wife entered our ceremony. There was a zip line over the lake at this camp. Big giant zip line. She entered. She’s the best. My wife’s the best. She enters on a zip line.
[00:32:10] CALLER Yeah. I think I’ve heard, you’ve said this before
[00:32:12] CHRIS: Yeah, She comes flying over the lake on the zip line it’s super rad. But she had this big delay because she had to do the silverware and then get ready. And that involves, you know, makeup, hair, getting this decoy dress because she zip lining. We had a whole plan, so I didn’t know that. And I went to the altar, not even intending to set any lights like get it going. But everybody saw me walk to the altar and then everybody was like, oh, I guess the ceremony starting and everybody came and sat down. And then meanwhile, she’s got this big delay that I didn’t know because we were doing it all ourselves. So I’m standing up there like probably about half an hour and every eye. But I knew like it was a big secret. Nobody knew she was entering on the zip line. So I knew, okay, something’s going on with the zip line. Just get ready. Every. Nobody else knew that. I realized, oh, they think that my pretty wife is probably took a look at me and is reconsidering that. And you know her the only person, the only person, all my friends, all my loved ones, all my family, the only person to come up to me to see if I was doing okay. The only person who got up and bravely walked up the altar was like, how you doing, buddy? All right. Comedian Mike Birbiglia, the only guy, the only dude who went out of his way. My aunts, my uncles, my cousins, they just sat there assuming that I was experiencing a public and humiliating disaster being left at the altar. And they all apparently were fine with that. Birbiglia came and checked on me. It was nice. Good friend that Mike Birbiglia.
[00:33:33] CALLER: Oh, yeah. At least you can always count on your friends, right?
[00:33:37] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, at least I mean one one of them out of the many friends I can count apparently
[00:33:43] CALLER: one friend
[00:33:44] CHRIS: one of them. The rest of them all just feeling bad for me. That’s OK. Then she came in on the zip line. She got stuck in the lake. It was the best. That’s the. She comes in the zip line and this dress hits the water. She gets stuck halfway through. So the guy who ran the zip line, it was this Australian rock climber dude that the camp had hired to run the zip line. So my wedding involved me watching a super jacked buff, hot Australian guy, rescue my wife, rescue my fiance and bring her. I was like, well, she I mean, if this guy cause she had to get in a golf cart and come, I was like, I wouldn’t be surprised if this golf cart comes by and the Australian guy is driving it and they just leave the camp together. It was like a real moment of fear a moment of fear and panic. For me that this super hot Australian guy was going to take my fiancee off the zip line and then I’d have to just like say like, well, more power. More power to you. I hope you all enjoy your lives.
[00:34:36] CALLER: Did someone get this on video? I hope
[00:34:38] CHRIS: Yeah
[00:34:39] CALLER: This entire-
[00:34:40] CHRIS: This is a weird sentence. I get to say my friend Banana Man taped the whole thing. That’s how I live.
[00:34:49] CALLER: You’re friend Banana Man? That’s not his real name?
[00:34:50] CHRIS: Yeah, I got a friend named Banana Man. And no his real name is Keith. But yeah, everybody calls him Banana Man cause he dresses in a, you know, a banana suit. I live a weird life. A lot of listeners to Beautiful Anonymous only know me through this. They don’t understand that not only am I comedian real life, I’m actually a very kind of notoriously strange fringe comedian. So a lot of them don’t know that. But yeah, I got it. I got this friend named Banana Man. He’s in my comedy dressed as a banana. And he did the video. Good guy, banana man. Anyway,
[00:35:20] CALLER: that’s awesome. You have a very interesting life, Chris.
[00:35:23] CHRIS: It’s a little weird at times, but I’m pretty happy with it. And it all worked out OK. It seems, at least for now, who knows in two years. Could be two years is the biggest buffer zone I’ve ever had of knowing if I’m going to be OK. Got two years where I’m pretty certain I’m OK. And then we had complete disaster -disaster after that. Who knows? Who knows? Anyway, I don’t want to make it about me, but I hope that, you know, I’m trying to cheer you up a little bit over here, trying to do my part.
[00:35:47] CALLER: Yeah, I know. I’m really, really enjoying it. Thank you.
[00:35:49] CHRIS: Please. Thank you. So you said that you had some good and bad in recent times, your grandma. That’s a bad one. That’s that’s really bad. And again, my condolences. What are some of the good things you mentioned? You said you had some good and bad going on.
[00:36:02] CALLER: Yeah, I guess all the moving you know, I for I guess for about 20 or 25 years, I lived in the same town, hadn’t moved. I went to college in the same town that I grew up in. So I then moved about a thousand miles away, maybe more for my husband’s job. So we’re in this new city in the south. And I really love it there, actually. I could see myself living there a lot longer than one year. but we’re moving back to a city in the northeast in the summer. So it’s been a lot of a lot of change. I feel like my life has really shaken up in some good, good ways.
[00:36:53] CHRIS: That’s cool. You get to see the world a little bit
[00:36:56] CALLER: Getting out of my, Yeah, kind of getting out of my shell. I’m kind of a very introverted person.
[00:37:02] CHRIS: Yeah. What’s your husband do that you’ve got to move around so much?
[00:37:08] CALLER: He’s an auditor at a big accounting firm.
[00:37:12] CHRIS: Wow, that’s. Yeah, that sounds very respectable.
[00:37:17] CALLER: Yeah, actually it’s a big change for him, too. He actually used to be a musician
[00:37:22] CHRIS: Really?
[00:37:23] CALLER: until a couple years ago. Yeah. So he was a touring guitarist for a very long time
[00:37:29] CHRIS: touring guitarist. Look at that. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to. A musician. A musician. Look at that.
[00:37:41] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:37:42] CHRIS: Runs in your family, it runs into the blood, runs in your family.
[00:37:45] CALLER: I know. Apparently we’re all attracted to musicians
[00:37:48] CHRIS: You guys love the musicians.
[00:37:51] CALLER: Yeah, well, the musicians it’s a hard, hard life though.
[00:37:55] CHRIS: Oh, yeah.
[00:37:56] CALLER: It’s not easy
[00:37:57] CHRIS: My wife’s a musician.
[00:37:58] CALLER: That’s right. Yeah. She’s in a band.
[00:38:00] CHRIS: Yeah. Hiccup, their new album is about to come out it’s the best. They’re Great. Her and my friend messenger bag.
[00:38:06] CALLER: Is she –
[00:38:07] CHRIS: Everybody I know has a nickname
[00:38:08] CALLER: Does she tour?
[00:38:09] CHRIS: She does she tours a bunch. Yeah. Plays many of the many of the punk venues all over this grand country of ours. And if anybody’s in to – of anybody out there wants to see my wife she’s been touring a bunch supporting this new album, go see Hiccup Beautiful Anonymous fans. So your husband, when you guys got together, was he a touring guitarist?
[00:38:29] CALLER: Yes. Yeah, he was.
[00:38:31] CHRIS: That’s cool. And that’s how he made his living with it.
[00:38:33] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:38:34] CHRIS: What kind of band?
[00:38:35] CALLER: They’re like a like a rock soul kind of band.
[00:38:40] CHRIS: That’s cool. And you’d go you’d see him play.
[00:38:43] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:38:44] CHRIS: You’ll see him play.
[00:38:44] CALLER: I would I tried to go go with him as much as I could.
[00:38:49] CHRIS: That’s pretty hot. You watch your man up there treading the solo. That’s pretty attractive, huh?
[00:38:55] CALLER Yeah, definitely.
[00:38:56] CHRIS: It’s rad. But now he he went, he went he got he got a dependable job
[00:39:03] CALLER: Yeah, he did. He went he finished his degree, he got a masters degree and he left the band. It was just two. Wasn’t really the lifestyle he wanted in the end.
[00:39:15] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:39:17] CALLER: I mean I was fully supportive of it. I think people people think that I probably wasn’t. Everyone was like, oh, you must be so happy that he has changed careers and well, It wasn’t I wasn’t pushing for it. You know, like I just want him to be happy.
[00:39:33] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:39:34] CALLER: And he wasn’t happy ultimately doing that. So
[00:39:36] CHRIS: yeah, people that rock n roll lifestyle seems fun for a short while. But then at the end of the day, man, there’s no guarantees. Nobody makes money off of actual album sales. You have to tour relentlessly you have to sell a ton of T-shirts. It’s not that, that that gig is really I’ve got many musician friends and it’s not. It is a surprisingly. You have you have to reach a people would be surprised at the level of success you need to reach as a musician to actually pay your bills with it. It’s really it’s really remarkable.
[00:40:06] CALLER: Yeah, exactly. I don’t think people people really know that generally.
[00:40:11] CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah,
[00:40:14] CALLER: yeah.
[00:40:17] CHRIS: This hit a weird impasse out of nowhere.
[00:40:20] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. That was a little Awkward silence there.
[00:40:23] CHRIS: Yeah. We were having a great conversation getting along, sharing things about each other’s lives and then it hit a fucking brick wall. Zero to 60. I don’t know. Sorry about that, Sally, but we really got there. Really? Yeah she’s not gonna be psyched that I said the F-word. She hates when I say the F-word. I’m sorry, Ma.
[00:40:40] CALLER: I know,
[00:40:41] CHRIS: but. Well,
[00:40:42] CALLER: Sorry Sally
[00:40:43] CHRIS: why did that happen? Why didn’t you and me we just we we just both heard it. There was ten seconds of neither one of us knowing what to do or say when we’d been doing great up until then.
[00:40:50] CALLER: I know. I don’t know. I guess on my end, I was kind of staring at my dog.
[00:40:55] CHRIS: Oh, okay.
[00:40:57] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:40:58] CHRIS: I guess that’s fair
[00:41:01] CALLER: Yeah, I’ve got my dog here and I’ve actually got my grandmother’s dog here, too.
[00:41:05] CHRIS: You just broke my heart. You just broke everybody’s heart. Do You know that. You didn’t even mean to. You broke everybody’s heart. Yeah. You adopted your grandmother’s dog?
[00:41:16] CALLER: I would like to, but my mom also wants to adopt her so we’re kind of battling it out right now for who is going to get the dog.
[00:41:25] CHRIS: That’s good. They said a lot of times it’s like who’s going to who who who’s gonna who has to take the dog that’s made the dogs and to have a lot of love people fighting over the dog. That’s nice.
[00:41:36] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, as sad as this whole situation is, it’s kind of. Worked out almost as fast as possible.
[00:41:47] CHRIS: Yeah
[00:41:48] CALLER: like everybody. Everybody’s been helping everybody’s come together. Everybody wants to like Have a piece of her to remember and wants to take care of the things that were important to her.
[00:42:00] CHRIS: That’s cool.
[00:42:01] CALLER: So, so yeah this dog will definitely be loved no matter where she ends up.
[00:42:07] CHRIS: Yeah. When my grandpa died, I took the stuffed skunk, I mentioned that skunk, that bizarre skunk thing that I mentioned. I have that skunk. That’s the thing I took from my grandfather that I have to remember him by.
[00:42:20] CALLER? A skunk?
[00:42:21] CHRIS: The guy was nuts. so I’m in seventh grade. I’m watching cartoons on the Saturday morning. I’m in my underwear. There was just like violent banging and yelling at our back door. So I run up from the basement steps, my grandpa’s at the back door. He’s like, let me in. Let me in. Quick, quick, quick. He points. He’s like, look, and he points. And in our on our, grass is this skunk. And it’s sitting totally still. And he’s like, I’m like, oh, God. And my mom’s like, we’ll call animal control. He’s like, no, get me a broom. I’ll kill it. I’m like, what are you talking about you maniac? And he’s like, it’s a little known thing that skunks have incredibly soft skulls. And if you just tap their skull, it collapses and gives them this painless death. I’ll just kill the skunk. Look, you can’t do that, you’re gonna get sprayed by the skunk. And then nobody wants to watch you just kill a living thing. What’s wrong with you? But he’s usually you know, he’s like get me a broom. And I watch him and he, like, he like, tiptoes up to the skunk. And he’s I mean, the guy’s old at this point. I’ve never seen him this agile. It was it was remarkable that he had this in him. And he takes the broom and he brings it down on the skunk. Then he picks up the skunk and he throws it at me and I catch it. And it’s a stuffed skunk. It’s like a stuffed animal that looks pretty real. And he’s like, Yeah, I got you, I got you. And I’m like, I thought, you’re throwing a dead skunk at me, it’s 7:00 in the morning. What time did you wake up and sneak into our yard to do this? You crack pot. But anyway
[00:43:48] CALLER: grandpa was a jokester,
[00:43:50] CHRIS: The guy was nuts, he also lit his own lawn, he once lit his own lawn on fire. And then I had I ran over what I could see, I could see his yard from my bedroom window and I saw him. He looked like he was dancing in his backyard. And then I realize he was trying to stamp out flames. And I ran over and I ran into his house. Hadn’t been in his house many years since my grandmother when my grandma died, my grandfather told me that her ghost haunted his house and I never went because he was depressed. He didn’t want me around. He didn’t want me and my brother bothering them. So I hadn’t been in his house in years and I run in and I’m like, oh, it looks the same. This is trippy. And I couldn’t find a bucket. So I just took his tea pot and I’m like, run around trying to put out this fire, pouring the water out of the tea pot like actual tea. Like I wasn’t even tossing it. And then my neighbor put it out with his hose and I was like, what happened? And he’s like, I lit my lawn on fire. And I’m like, why did you do that? And he’s like, well, it was getting really long and I didn’t want to mow it. And then he’s like, it’s actually your fault. You said you were gonna mow it. I was like I never said, I never told you I was gonna mow this lawn. If you had asked me I would’ve mowed the lawn. light it on fire and blame me. He was crazy. He refused to stop driving
[00:45:00] CALLER: Oh my gosh he sounds like a trip.
[00:45:02] CHRIS: Yeah, He was nuts. He refused to stop driving. And he once crashed his car. He crashed his car into a parked car on our block. And this kid, it was it was the boyfriend of the girl lives across the street from me, came running out and he just rolled down the window and he’s like, it’s all right. I’m Kenny’s father. And he my dad was sitting on it. He was on our front lawn is like working on the the flowers. He just like pointing at my dad and drove away. My dad’s like, I got to handle this because he just crashed a car. You just drive away and point at me. The guy was crazy. I loved him. He died. He didn’t.
[00:45:33] CALLER: Wow
[00:45:34] CHRIS: It turned out he, we didn’t even know he was sick. If I remember right, he had cancer. He had something. But he didn’t tell anybody. And we just went to his house one day. And he was. He had laid out all his papers, all his financials, his will. He just laid everything out on the table. He knew he was gone. He didn’t want anybody sad. He Didn’t want anybody bothering him. He was just like, I’m just gonna go out. He had fun, the guy lost it, the guy was pretty nuts, but he had a lot of fun. Hope I’m like that.
[00:46:03] CALLER: Yeah,
[00:46:04] CHRIS: yeah.
[00:46:06] CALLER: Yeah, I guess that’s all that matters, really. That you had fun and you have a life that you really fully enjoyed.
[00:46:13] CHRIS: Yeah, yeah. I think that’s a good thing to aim for. Right?
[00:46:17] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:46:19] CHRIS: I wonder who that pianist was. Who’s this Atlantic City resident,
[00:46:22] CALLER: I know right?
[00:46:23] CHRIS: Who’s this Atlantic city pianist
[00:46:25] CALLER: Atlantic City pianist
[00:46:26] CHRIS: What years would this be?
[00:46:28] CALLER: This would have been in the 50s.
[00:46:31] CHRIS: Yeah. I bet Atlantic City was still hopping then. I bet it was hopping.
[00:46:34] CALLER: Yeah. It was like a place to be.
[00:46:37] CHRIS: You’ve been to Atlantic City lately?
[00:46:39] CALLER: Have I? I’ve never been to Atlantic City no
[00:46:42] CHRIS: You gotta go. It’s like walking into a dystopian nightmare. It’s nuts. It’s the most bizarre
[00:46:48] CALLER: Is that a bad thing or a good thing?
[00:46:49] CHRIS: Well, it’s you know, I I’m a I’m a man of New Jersey. And I don’t, it’s certainly, there’s the town is always, it was always the casinos and then the rest of the town. And then the rest of the town was always notoriously pretty rough. And now the casinos are closing and this town is pretty down and out. And it’s pretty fun to go to the casinos, but it’s bizarre to go to this town that is a very desolate place with a handful of casinos in the. And you go in the winter. It’s right on the ocean. Nobody wants to go to the ocean in the winter. And you just go and it’s like, well, this is a brutally, relentlessly unforgiving place. I think I’m gonna go play some, let it ride, go play the table games, you know, but it’s a weird place. Everybody everybody should check it out. Support Atlantic City. It’s kind of the most fun place I’ve ever been. I recently went on a Sunday night and was in the poker room watching some friends play and a man a few tables over cracked and lost his money about 3:30 in the morning on a Sunday into Monday And he started flipping out and security grabbed him. And while they were dragging him out, he started yelling, God will smite all of you. God is going to smite all of you for this. As they dragged him out and I was like, man, you’re gambling at 3:30 a.m. on a Sunday into Monday and you lose your bets like this is I’m watching someone’s rock bottom. I’m watching a rock bottom happen in front of me. God will, as he makes eye contact with me and tells me God will smite me. It’s a pretty, Atlantic city’s the best. We should maybe Beautiful Anonymous maybe we should do a big fan convention at Atlantic City on the coldest day of the year. Maybe we should do that. Who knows? I’m just trying to cheer you up here. Everybody’s gonna say I’m talkin too much in this episode, but I’m just trying to cheer you up. Tell you some weird stories.
[00:48:30] CHRIS [music transition]: Going to go ahead and pause right there, and I know I set myself up, some people love when I talk too much. Some people say when I talk too much, I love reading about all of it. Tell me about all of it. I love it. You know what else you should do? Well, we’re taking this little pause and I’m laughed at.That is we got sponsors. They help bring us this show to the world for free. So I hope you guys use the promo codes, support the show. And we’ll be back with more call right after this.
[00:48:54] [AD BREAK]
[00:50:15] CHRIS [music transition]: Thanks so much to all our sponsors. Let’s go out, let’s finish off this phone call. Let’s have some fun.
[00:50:22] CHRIS: I’m just trying to cheer you up here. Everybody’s gonna say I’m talking too much in this episode, but just trying to cheer you up. Tell you some weird stories.
[00:50:28] CALLER: It’s okay. I’m I’m like a quiet person and I feel like I always let people take the lead. So this was kind of a very natural conversation for me.
[00:50:36] CHRIS: Well, yeah, and me, too. And it seemed. You sound introverted. And also you got a lot on your mind. So I’m just trying to feel that out and jump in trying to maybe get ya. I feel very lucky. One of the things I like about being a comedian is I feel like my job is that if I if you’re having a bad day and I can make you laugh, that’s a pretty that’s a pretty good job description. You know, it’s a pretty good goal to have with a job.
[00:50:58] CALLER: Yeah
[00:50:59] CHRIS: So yeah just trying to make you laugh
[00:51:00} CALLER: yeah, you really do do a lot for other people if you think about it
[00:51:04] CHRIS: there’s many people who do a lot more than comedians. Comedians are also notorious scum people. So we’ve got that going for us, too. It’s not like we’re Jedi knights traveling the world trying to spread laughter and joy. It’s also a lot of true moments of darkness and scum that happen even to the most kind comedians. When I say happened to I mean that we perpetuate cause and participate in, Anyway. Yeah. Some of the things you see out on the road are not the best. You see some great stuff too.
[00:51:37] CALLER: Yeah, Have you always been this extroverted?
[00:51:41] CHRIS: I am, actually. Here’s the thing. You won’t believe about me. I am actually a terrifically shy person in my day to day life. I’m only extroverted when it comes to performing or being onstage. I think a big part of this podcast, actually, one of the reasons that I wanted to do that I had this idea was because I feel like I’m so prone to being shy and also because of the nature of having a phone. These days, I spend so much time like hiding in my phone and hiding from people that I wanted to have an hour of my week where I shut off my phone and just talked to someone genuinely. There was a big part of it for me cause I’m actually pretty introverted.
[00:52:20] CALLER: hmm. That’s really interesting to know. I would never have thought that about you really.
[00:52:26] CHRIS: Yeah, I mean, I think I grew up feeling like I had a lot of unexpressed feelings. And when I found when I found out that you could get on stage and and just express those things, I always felt like comedy to me was like, if you could if you say something that you really believe and a crowd laughs, they’re effectively saying like, hey, you’re not alone. Like, you’re not crazy for thinking that we get it. We agree on some level. That’s part of why I do what I do.
[00:52:56] CALLER: that’s really, really good to know. maybe I’m in the wrong profession.
[00:53:02] CHRIS: How do you like working from home? I would imagine that’s pretty sweet. But also, you know, you don’t see many people.
[00:53:07] CALLER: Yeah. It’s good actually. Like I end up Skyping with people a lot or talking, emailing or talking on the phone. But yeah, it’s kind of it’s awesome in one way, but it is just another way for me to kind of like isolate myself further.
[00:53:25] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:53:26] CALLER: So I guess I am kind of seeing some downsides to it.
[00:53:31] CHRIS: You sound like you’re not thrilled by being as introverted as you are. Is that a thing you’re looking to change?
[00:53:36] CALLER: Yeah, yeah, actually, yeah it is. I’m kind of like one of those people who, like, thinks so much and like writes a lot, but I’m. Like verbalising it is much more difficult and I don’t know why it’s kind of like really frustrating.
[00:53:53] CHRIS: That’s interesting. Why has it always been frustrating? Is that like becoming more pronounced in recent years?
[00:54:00] CALLER: It’s always been frustrating, I think. But I I’ve only started seeing like a therapist recently within the last year.
[00:54:07] CHRIS: That’s nice.
[00:54:08] CALLER: And that’s helped a lot.
[00:54:09] CHRIS: Well done. Well done.
[00:54:13] CALLER: Thanks.
[00:54:13] CHRIS: And what’s stopping you?
[00:54:14] CALLER: Yeah, I actually
[00:54:15] CHRIS: Oh no, go for it
[00:54:17] CALLER: I was just gonna tell you that I, before I had ever seen a therapist like I’ve listened to Beautiful Anonymous. When you started it, I think last March or April. And just like all the things you said in the first couple of calls about like seeing a therapist and getting help and. Stuff like that was kind of what made me really give it some thought.
[00:54:39] CHRIS: That’s nice. That’s really nice to hear. And you’re and you’re enjoying it.
[00:54:44] CALLER: Yeah. I don’t know how much it’s helped tremendously so far, but it definitely gives me a lot to think about.
[00:54:52] CHRIS: Nice. I’m glad that I’m glad to help in some small way.
[00:54:56] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. I thought you’d be happy to know that.
[00:54:58] CHRIS: That’s cool. And what does
[00:55:00] CALLER: This is a really, really great podcast.
[00:55:02] CHRIS: Thanks. I feel I feel okay about it. Most of the time I get a little I don’t know. I get a little caught up. Sometimes I worry I’m letting everybody down and I only get that. Every episode gets a lot of positive feedback. I ignore all of that. And I only I only. I only let the one the dissatisfied people registered my brain and my heart. That’s how I roll because I’m nuts. Anyway, what are you doing to be more extroverted? What actions are you taking to overcome your introverted nature?
[00:55:38] CALLER: I don’t know, actually, that’s a good question. No, I’m I’m trying to be more social, except more, go out more. Like go out more parties, not kind of turn everybody down when people want to hang out, do more things in groups. I live in a new city, so and we don’t know anybody. I don’t really know anybody there. So I had to go out and meet new people. And that’s definitely been different for me living in the same place. You kind of get used to being with people you’ve been friends with forever and not really having to go outside of your regular social circle.
[00:56:17] CHRIS: Yeah.
[00:56:18] CALLER: So I’ve definitely met people in Different, different ways that I never did before
[00:56:25] CHRIS: Like, what kind of stuff do you like to do when you are on the town?
[00:56:29] CALLER: When I go on the town,
[00:56:30] CHRIS: my guess, my guess, knowing you for 46 minutes, not karaoke. You’re not a karaoke person at all.
[00:56:38] CALLER: Oh, hell, no. No, no. I mean, I’ve made a lot of friends, actually, from this yoga class that I do.
[00:56:49] CHRIS: Nice.
[00:56:50] CALLER And in the city I’m living in. Yeah. There’s like a Web site called Meetup where there’s all different kinds of things people post that you can go to. There’s trivia nights at bars that I do, I usually go out like I don’t go all by myself, like I go with my husband or a couple friends.
[00:57:12] CHRIS: Yeah, and you have a team and you give the team a funny name.
[00:57:16] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:57:17] CHRIS: Like if it’s movie themed trivia, you’ll be like you called what you call yourself like Galactic Empire. And then that team gets all the Star Wars questions, right? Well, that was an adorable dog sound in the background.
[00:57:28] CALLER: Oh, yeah. That was my dog.
[00:57:30] CHRIS: Look at that. Look at that me and you just chitchatting, getting along? I like it. I like it.
[00:57:39] CALLER: Yeah.
[00:57:40] CHRIS: You don’t, You don’t have a karaoke song then, huh? You don’t got the go to songs
[00:57:45] CALLER: No, no I’ve never done karaoke.
[00:57:46] CHRIS: Never once
[00:57:47] CALLER: I’ve never even really watched karaoke.
[00:57:50] CHRIS: I’m going to give you a challenge as an introverted person trying to overcome it. I’m gonna give you a challenge. Do karaoke one time for me and don’t go to a private room. You do one of the ones where everybody watches and you’ll have fun. It’ll be a night- It’ll be a nightmare. But you’ll like it. You sing one song. You sing one song. And before you say you say this is a person that no one knows. But this is for my friend Chris Gethard. And then you sing a song. That’s a challenge.
[00:58:17] CALLER: You really want me to do that?
[00:58:19] CHRIS: I do. I would love it. I would love to know that somewhere out there. A shy, a shy girl going through a tough time who’s trying to, maybe be, get a little bit out of her shell. Does an activity that could not be more nerve wracking for an introverted person and dedicated to me, that would mean a lot to me. It would mean a lot to me because I got my go to songs.
[00:58:42] CALLER: OK. Give me a recommendation.
[00:58:44] CHRIS: Don’t stop me now by Queen. You want to light a karaoke room on fire? You look like me. You look like a little shy nerd and you get up there and you impersonate Freddie Mercury. That’s why they call me Mr. Farenheit. I’m driving at the speed of light. I want to make ta super sonic man out of you you don’t stop me. Don’t stop me. Yeah, yeah. Don’t stop me. Don’t stop me. Hoo hoo. Don’t stop me. Going to have a good time. Good time. Don’t stop me. Oh, for you. And then you got to dance during the solo or else you lose everybody.
[00:59:19] CALLER: Oh there’s dancing too okay alright
[00:59:20] CHRIS: you gotta. do it for me as a challenge to yourself and as a gift to me, sing one song karaoke. Who knows? I don’t even know why I’m saying that. I’m just having fun with you, I’m just trying to make you laugh. Sad. Sad
[00:59:34] CALLER: Can I tell you a city that I live in?
[00:59:36] CHRIS: Sure.
[00:59:37] CALLER: Cause it’s – I think you’ll find it funny. I live in Nashville. So,
[00:59:42] CHRIS Oh Nashville
[00:59:43] CALLER: There’s plenty here, plenty of opportunities here
[00:59:44] CHRIS: Oh, What’s that main? What’s that main drag? What’s that main drag? I did. I did comedy at Zanies
[00:59:48] CALLER: Broadway.
[00:59:49] CHRIS: Broadway. That, there’s-
[00:59:51] CALLER: Oh Zanies! I live right near Zanies.
[00:59:53] CHRIS: I tell you, I would love to tell you
[00:59:56] CALLER: Right off of eighth ave
[00:59:57] CHRIS: I would love to tell you like, hey I’ll come to Zanies someday and, and maybe we’ll meet. But the bottom line is, I bombed really hard at sold no tickets and I can’t imagine they’re clamoring that me back anytime soon. But they had me
[01:00:09] CALLER: Really?
[01:00:10] CHRIS: Bobcat Goldthwait was in The Early Show and then they had me and a buddy of mine on The Late Show. Everybody thinking I’m not gonna go see this guy I’ve never heard of whose last name spells the words get hard. I’m gonna go see Bobcat Goldthwait . He was in police academy, played Zed he’s the best. Nashville, you can go. You can go to karaoke seven nights a week. There’s probably a karaoke room open 24 hours a day every single day in Nashville.
[01:00:37] CALLER: Oh, I don’t doubt, I don’t doubt it.
[01:00:40] CHRIS: Now that main drag is so fun with all those, are those honky tonk bars? Do those qualify as, honky tonks?
[01:00:46] CALLER: Yeah. Yeah, they’re called honky tonks. They got like three floors, a lot of them, with like different music on every floor.
[01:00:53] CHRIS: Yeah, that town is cool and that street is real cool. And I know it’s super touristy, but it’s cool.
[01:00:58] CALLER: Yeah, it’s crazy. I never really go down there, just cause it’s, you know, so touristy. I feel like it’s like the Times Square of Nashville.
[01:01:06] CHRIS: But yeah, nobody in New York is hanging out at Times Square. It also seems like a place where people get dangerously drunk all the time.
[01:01:13] CALLER: Oh, yeah. The first time I went there, I like stepped out of the Uber and like this girl was in front of the car, just threw up all over the place
[01:01:21] CHRIS Well, that’s such a fun nightmare, what a nightmare.
[01:01:25] CALLER: Yeah. Oh, yeah. It’s nuts.
[01:01:27] CHRIS: And you ever get the hot chicken? You ever go to that hot chicken place?
[01:01:31] CALLER: Oh, yeah. They’re hot chicken is incredible.
[01:01:35] CHRIS: Yeah. I gave up the chicken a year ago
[01:01:36] CALLER: Actually all the food there is incredible
[01:01:38] CHRIS: Yeah. Get the southern for the barbecue. You landed in a good town and there’s a lot of cool like diy like punk music too. Isn’t Diarrhea Planet from Nashville.
[01:01:48] CALLER: Oh I don’t know them
[01:01:49] CHRIS: that’s a good band. Yeah. Look past the fact that they have the worst name in the history of music. Actually a really good punk band and it’s hilarious to name your band Diarrhea Planet to be so confident in your music that you can get away with the named diarrhea planet. It’s a bold move
[01:02:05] CALLER: They’re a punk band?
[01:02:07] CHRIS: They are. And they rule. They’re loud. Yeah.
[01:02:12] CALLER: I’ll have to check them out, yeah. Nashville has a lot of a lot of cool music. Outside of country.
[01:02:17] CHRIS: Yeah. Just seems like a cool town where you can like live pretty well for reasonably cheap. And there’s a lot of just like laid-back people around. That’s my sense of Nashville.
[01:02:28] CALLER: Yeah, that’s definitely true. it’s an observation.
[01:02:33] CHRIS: That’s cool, that’s a cool place to line up. So you’re just now you’re just chillin, trying to come out of your shell , doing a bunch of yoga in Nashville grieving for your grandma. Sounds like a cool lady.
[01:02:45] CALLER: Yeah, yeah. I’m not in Nashville right now, I’m, I’m back in the hometown for a little while.
[01:02:51] CHRIS: Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Sorry, you’ve been having a tough time. You seem so nice.
[01:02:58] CALLER: Oh thank you. Yeah, I know. I’ll get through it. It’s just the whole year. Really, it’s been, kind of a big life changer.
[01:03:08] CHRIS: Yeah. Between the moves, and the loss. That’s how it goes, right?
[01:03:15] CALLER: Yeah, yeah. That’s life as I’m learning.
[01:03:19] CHRIS: Yeah. Why’d you go to college in the same town you grew up in? You had no desire to spread your wings. See anything else?
[01:03:27] CALLER: Yeah, I think I was just kind of nervous, nervous about leaving and just wanted to stay close by. A lot of my friends stayed close to. So it’s not like I was like last here by myself or anything.
[01:03:40] CHRIS: Yeah. And was it a city? Did you grow up in the San Barnett?
[01:03:45] CALLER: Yeah, looking back on it – No. Suburb.
[01:03:46] CHRIS: State College, Pennsylvania. Penn State. True or False?
[01:03:50] CALLER: False, no.
[01:03:51] CHRIS: Dammit. I thought I nailed it. Can’t-
[01:03:57] CALLER: No, you probably won’t get it
[01:03:58] CHRIS: Probably not. And I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop trying. I’m going to just say I’m going to bail I’m gonna stop trying to. Who cares? I’m not going to guess. Who knows?
[01:04:10] CALLER: Yeah.
[01:04:11] CHRIS: Someplace in Ohio. I bet it was Ohio. No, I mean, I’m gonna stop guessing. I just said I was gonna stop guessing. Was it Ohio was I right about Ohio?
[01:04:20] CALLER: no
[01:04:20] CHRIS Damn it,
[01:04:21] CALLER: No, northeast
[01:04:22] CHRIS: I got this out. Yeah, you said that in Ohio is the Midwest. Yeah. I mean, if I’m going to cut out, I’m going to stop guessing. Gonna stop guessing. Connecticut somewhere in Connecticut. Connecticut.
[01:04:32] CALLER: Maybe
[01:04:35] CHRIS: Oh, look at that
[01:04:36] CALLER: I don’t wanna give out too much information.
[01:04:36] CHRIS: Third time’s a charm. Third time’s a charm. I’m not going to guess anymore. I’m going to guess anymore. Wesleyan was it Wesleyan?
[01:04:46] CALLER: no, nope.
[01:04:49] CHRIS: I only know Hartford. That’s a city. You said you were a suburb. So I have to stop guessing now. Cause I don’t know any other colleges in Connecticut. Unfortunately.
[01:05:01] CALLER: It’s okay
[01:05:02] CHRIS: I got the laugh. I heard you laugh. That’s good. That’s what I’m in it for, to try to make you laugh. That’s good.
[01:05:07] CALLER: Yeah. No, I’ve been laughing through this entire conversation.
[01:05:10] CHRIS: That’s good. That makes me feel good. What else are you doing for the rest of the day? We have four minutes left, by the way.
[01:05:17] CALLER: Oh, wow. I’m actually going to get a massage after that.
[01:05:21] CHRIS: Oh, yeah, That’s nice.
[01:05:23] CALLER: Yeah.
[01:05:24] CHRIS: Yeah.
[01:05:24] CALLER Yeah.
[01:05:26] CHRIS: Treat yourself. You have had a long week hard week feeling. Yeah.
[01:05:30] CALLER: Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ll be my first time, so
[01:05:33] CHRIS: First time getting a massage
[01:05:38] CALLER: mm-hmm
[01:05:39] CHRIS: Wow. A lot of first times yoga. No yoga you’ve done. Massage karaoke impending first, although you certainly didn’t commit.
[01:05:48] CALLER: Oh yeah, I can’t, I can’t forget about the karaoke.
[01:05:50] CHRIS: I would love that.
[01:05:51] CALLER: No, I thought I would do it, I’ll do it. I’ll stick to my word.
[01:05:56] CHRIS: any I think anybody out there listening. If you’re if you ever wind up doing karaoke, it would mean the world to me if you inexplicably dedicated the song to me, even though I’m not present in the room. And that can be like a secret signal to anybody else in the room. Any other Beautiful Anonymous fans you’ll know. Oh, that person’s a fan.
[01:06:13] CALLER: That’s how we’ll spot each other that way.
[01:06:15] CHRIS: I want to dedicate this song to the draft. Chris Gethard. And then other people go, holy shit. You also like karaoke and that one podcast. Now we’re in business, as they say. Three minutes left, my friend.
[01:06:36] CALLER: Three minutes. Oh, this call flew by. Does it always happen like that?
[01:06:42] CHRIS: Sometimes
[01:06:43] CALLER: Maybe it hasn’t flown by for you
[01:06:45] CHRIS: no, it has. It has, definitely. It’s been fun. And. And I hope I made you laugh. I would say nine times out of ten they fly by. And then the other one out of ten is the longest hour of my month. I could say that, that’s kind of the ratio. But nine out of ten is a higher higher. A much better batting average than anyone would predict with this show. The callers are generally so kind and open and and people have so much to say. And even if they don’t, they just won’t have a good time. So nine out of ten is good. But yeah, when we get a stinker. Ho boy. I tell you, I just said that that hour’s a lot of me just making uncomfortable eye contact with Jared. As we both just pray for the bell to ring. But this is not one of those, not by a long shot. There’s actually one of the more fun ones I’ve had, which I am so, I hope that doesn’t offend you, considering it started off with us talking about the death of one of your closest loved ones. My apologies.
[01:07:39] CALLER: No, it’s good to know that I’m fun. Cause a lot of the time’s I feel like I’m not
[01:07:45] CHRIS: I had a lot of fun trying to cheer you up. And I hope I helped in some small way. And I hope that this serves as some sort of audio remembrance of your grandma and your love for her, because that’s a cool thing.
[01:07:55] CALLER: Yeah, you’re right. that really is. It’s funny that I actually got through this week of all weeks. I think it’s just like, I don’t know, serendipitous or something. It’s just like
[01:08:09] CHRIS: Yeah, that’s nice to be able to put some things on record. Because can I tell you.
[01:08:13] CALLER: Yeah
[01:08:14] CHRIS: we had close to 4000 calls today. And yours got through. And I think it should serve as a little bit of a remembrance to your cool grandma who is so nice and traveled the world and had a love affair and raised a family and remained close to that family and raised a nice dog and did all sorts of things. RIP to your grandma. And it’s so nice to hear your love for her. And thank you for committing it to audio via my silly little podcast.
[01:08:41] CALLER: Thanks for letting me Chris
[01:08:44] CHRIS: it was my pleasure. It’s my pleasure. Do you know what song you’re going to dedicate to me yet? Have you decided?
[01:08:50] CALLER: No, Nope. I’ll have to give that some real thought. But I’ll definitely dedicate it to you. And, what was the one you had in mind from Queen?
[01:09:00] CHRIS: Don’t stop me now, I’m gonna have a good time. I’m having a ball. Don’t stop me now. If you want to have a good time, just give me a call. Don’t stop me now. Don’t stop me now because I’m having a good time. I don’t want to stop at all. I’m a rocket man. Something like that. I’m a rocket man. I don’t know if that’s the exact clearing. I’m a rocket man. Like Lady Godiva. Oh, no. Good. Oh, there’s no stopping me.I move in through the sky. Yeah. 300 degrees. That’s why they call me Mr. Farenheit I’m driving at the speed of light. I want to make a super sonic one out of you. That was a weird ending, but I had a fun call.
[01:09:56] CALLER [voicemail]: Hi, everyone. Caller 113 here. Just wanted to give a little background on the call. I recorded this episode with Chris in January of last year and at the time my grandmother had passed away just days before. I’ve called into the show many times before to no avail, but somehow got through on one of my first tries that day. I did the episode with Chris while being in a really funny face and just an overall weird time in my life. My grandmother and I were really close and had a really special and rare relationship. She was more like a second mom to me than a grandma. She was the person that picked me up from school every day as a kid and she was the person I could confided in when I had doubts about myself, my relationships and where I was going in my life. We’re also both intensely private people. And the thought of sharing such personal information about she and myself got me a little freaked out after the call. So I asked Chris not to air the episode. At the time, it seemed like the right decision. Over the last year I thought a lot about it and I realized I probably would have made different choices. Had I been in the same mindset then that I am now. Her loss affected me in ways I could never imagine, both good and bad, and my life has changed pretty drastically since the call I’ve come so far out of what I like to call my shell of comfort so I don’t think I can ever go back even if I tried. I guess if you commit to opening up your heart, the world might surprise you. So when I got a call from Jerad and Harry last week asking if I’d reconsider letting them air the episode, I had no doubt that the answer was yes. Then they reached out to me again today about doing this recording, which I found pretty synchronous because my grandmother would have been 88 today, May seventeenth. This little intricacies like this to let me know she’s still with me and she still sees everything. I hope that others who’ve lost someone so close to their heart are able to find comfort and things like this too. I’d really like to end this with the quote I heard recently about binge watching the office. It goes something like this: Go after what you want and act fast because life just isn’t that long. Thanks for letting me be a part of this. Something love to you all. Bye.
[01:12:06] CHRIS [music transition]: Thank you, caller for calling up, telling us about how you’re dealing with your grandmother’s loss. Again, huge condolences on that. Thanks for putting up with me while I sang Queen very out of tune. Thank you for that. And thanks to everybody for listening to that one. And I can’t wait to see how I am chided playfully on the internet for that one. Thank you to so many people. Thanks to Jared O’Connell for making the show happen. Thanks to the Reverend John DeLorean and Gretta for stepping up in the first place. Thank you to Shell Shag for the intro music if you want to know more about me. Chris Gethard dot com. All my projects, the different things I do, the dates I do out on the road. Check it out. Maybe I’ll meet you out there someday. You like Beautiful Anonymous? Please do rate review, subscribe on iTunes or stitcher anywhere where you get your podcasts. It really does help so much. That’s that. That’s all. The business we’ll be back next time with more of your phone calls. Thanks so much for listening, guys. I’ll see you next time.
[01:13:07] [AD BREAK]
[01:13:59] CHRIS: Next time on Beautiful Anonymous, it’s somebody who had a rough past but a hopeful future.
[01:14:07] [NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW]
[01:14:47] CHRIS: That’s next time. Beautiful Anonymous.