December 15, 2022
Jason joins Paul for a holiday-themed Just Chat where they decide the Elf on the Shelf is an EFFING NARC and tear apart the Santa Clause film/TV franchise. Plus, Paul shares deleted scenes from our 12 Pups of Christmas episode, digs into Corrections and Omissions, hears from listeners about horrible gifts, and announces next week’s movie. Places people, it’s time for Last Looks!
Christmas with the Campbells
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special
The Family Stone
Holiday Gilmore Girls episodes
The Binge 2: It’s A Wonderful Binge
A Very Merry Toy Store
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307.5 — Last Looks: 12 Pups of Christmas
Paul Scheer [00:00:00] Terrible Moms. Jingle Bell Rock? And I get into Tim Allen’s The Santa Claus TV series. All of this and more. People stand by for places. It’s time for last looks.
Music [00:00:16] [Intro Song]
Paul Scheer [00:00:37] Hello, my whispery canine therapists and my dumbass tech CEO Bro’s. I’m your host, Paul Scheer. And welcome to How Did This Get Made? Last looks where you get to voice your issues on the 12 pups of Christmas. Plus, Jason and I chat about holiday movies, TV that we’re currently watching, and I get to really go to town on this one show that we will never discuss here, but I do get to discuss with him. Plus, we will play some exclusive deleted scenes from our last episode and reveal next week’s movie. And most importantly, I will hear from you, our listeners, on Paul’s help line. But first things first, a big shout out to Dan from Rochester for that amazing opening song. We love these songs. If you have one for last looks, please send them to how did this get made at Earwolf.com. But keep them short. Like 15 to 20 seconds is best. All right, people, let’s get into it. I know we talk a lot about movies on the show, bad movies in particular, but there are bigger things out there in the world. You got problems. Let me solve them. It is now time for Paul’s help line.
Music [00:01:41] [Paul’s Help Line Intro Song].
Paul Scheer [00:02:11] Whoa. Thank you, Teddy Love Supreme. Love that song. Last week, I asked you to call in and rant about the awful gifts that you have received. And we got a ton of calls. I mean, it really sounds like some of you have incredibly shitty family members. Like, seriously, listening to these calls made me angry for you. So I might say some stuff here about your family members, and I apologize in advance, but I don’t like these people. Here are a few of the worst calls that we got. The best calls, the worst gifts. Keenan from Michigan.
Keenan from Michigan [00:02:47] Paul Keenan from Michigan here. The worst gift I ever got. It’s a little bit a long story, but my mother got me a gift and the entire month of December was sitting under the tree. And every night I was allowed to have one guess so that I could try to narrow down and guess what my gift was. One guess a night, and my parents were divorced at the time so it was only my mom half the time. But it really built up this excitement. I was like 10 or 11 years old at the time. I was so excited for this gift. I thought it was going to be like an N64 or game system or something. And Christmas Day came. I opened up the gift and it was a toaster. And it wasn’t my toaster because we just put it in the kitchen and it stayed at my mom’s house. It was just a toaster because my mom knew I liked toast so she just got her, got her house a toaster, and gave it to me as a Christmas gift. And that was the worst gift I’ve ever gotten. Let me know if it was a bad one. Thank you. Bye.
Paul Scheer [00:03:48] Keenan, I know that I said I’m gonna say some terrible things about your loved ones, and I’m going to say one right now, so please brace yourself. I know nothing about your mom, and I am sure she’s a wonderful person, but fuck your mom. Holy shit, that is terrible. That is like. I mean, this is like that scene from Scrooged, a movie that I love. You’ll hear more about that later. And you heard about it last week, too, like giving food to a kid and to make it torture like that. Like you like toast? This goes into the whole sled argument. You don’t get anyone a toaster. No one needs a toaster. An air fryer, maybe. Okay, but. Oh, come on. It’s not even yours? What I find interesting about this is it’s cruel. It is downright cruel. Of course. You thought it was an N64. We all did. A toaster? It’s like she knew she was fucking with you. Like, that is truly next level like I am– I want to go back there and I’m thinking to myself, like, I’ve played games with my kids, I’ve done funny things with them, but that is like it wasn’t like and then you also have an N64. It’s like, No, no, no, you just have a toaster for half of the year. Fuck that. Sure. Your mom is great. All right. Let’s listen to Kelsey’s call.
Kelsey [00:05:09] Hi, Paul. My name is Kelsey. I wanted to call you to tell you about the one of the worst gifts I’ve ever gotten, which was from my mom a few years ago. I’m an adult woman, and my mom is a baby boomer. And what she gave me, in fact, it was after years of just not giving me any gifts at all because like, I have kids of my own and she gets them gifts, but she just, one Christmas, decided that I needed a gift certificate for teeth whitening. And that was out of the blue. And quite a message I got from my mom. Okay, bye.
Paul Scheer [00:05:47] Oh. Oh, Kelsey, that. That’s rough. That is a rough one, honestly, because I mean– yeah. I don’t even know. We all know why it’s rough. Any time that you get something. My mom was great at doing this and getting me the things that she thought I wanted, but they became insults like, “Oh, you wear fun sneakers. So I got you the ugliest sneakers imaginable because isn’t that what you like ugly sneakers?” And that even is a little bit light because this is like, yo, your teeth, they need to be cleaned. If you talked about it, it would be acceptable. But to give that out of the blue, you don’t give it. You don’t give it teeth whitening. Put it in a stocking stuffer, maybe even that’s insulting. Honestly, fuck that. Fuck that. These moms. What’s going on with the moms? A lot of aggression coming out at the kids. All right. Let’s hear from Lindsay in Virginia.
Lindsay from Virginia [00:06:45] Hi, Paul. This is Lindsay from Virginia. I am calling in response to your prompt for worst holiday gifts ever received. And I don’t know if I have the best one, but I think it’s pretty high up there, especially on the trauma meter. Um, a few years after college, I was with my now husband and my family unwrapping Christmas gifts, and I unwrapped my own middle school diary, which I thought was kind of strange. My mom then noticed what I had opened and said, “You have to read it. It’s hilarious.” I still can’t believe that she found and read my middle school diary, even though I was an adult at this point. And I also can’t believe she thought it was a great idea to wrap it for Christmas morning. I don’t know. I think it’s pretty high up there for a bad gift. Hope you and June and Jason are having a good holiday season. Take care.
Paul Scheer [00:07:52] What? What? You can’t go into your kid’s room after they’re an adult and then wrap something and give it to them. And she read it and she ridiculed you for it. Wow. That is just, like, more of, like, a oof! Oof ma goof. Like, first of all, terrible gift idea. Just wrapping something that you already– that is yours that you own. And then the invasion of privacy. My God. Now, there could be another version of it where, you know, maybe your house had a fire or you thought it was lost and they found it. But no, it seems like it was just in your room. Man, oh, man. Damn these moms. Damn them to hell. Anyway, we are always looking for more. Paul’s Help Line voicemails. So if you need some advice or you want a second opinion about anything. Give me a call at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. That is 619-PAUL-ASK. I am looking for what you are excited to leave behind in 2022 as we go into the new year. What do you want to get– like, what are you excited be like, “And I’m done and I’m not going back.” What are we leaving behind in 2022? Call me. Tell me what we’re leaving behind. 619-PAULASK. Just a heads up, people. Drop Dead Fred on vinyl. You can only order it up until 12/21. That’s right. Up until December 21st at HDTGM.Bandcamp.com. If you can’t remember that, just go to HDTGM.com. This is a vinyl album of the Drop Dead Fred episode remastered from the original episode, lovingly remastered. It’s a double album. It has gatefolds. All the good– “has gatefolds.” You know what I’m talking about. They have a side that you can display that’s team sanity, team Fred. We’re so excited. But once 12/21 comes, you can’t order it anymore. This probably will come in May or April depending. We have a lot of orders, so we’re going to make a lot of albums, but that’s it. One time. That’s one printing and you got it. And if you want to give it to someone as a stocking stuffer, a gift, you get a nice little PDF that you can basically print out and give to your loved ones. Also, if you are listening right now and it is this weekend, I mean, what weekend is this? I would say it’s the weekend of December 16th and 17th. Rob Huebel and I are hosting a live show on twitch streaming to 1.5 million people. It’s called Celebrity Yard Sale. And we are getting rid of celebrities junk. They’re going to come on the show, they’re going to sell their shit and we are going to give away a brand new car. That’s right. Go to twitch.tv/friendszone. But you know what? You can just go to the front page of twitch because we will be there live 6 to 8 on Friday, 4 to 6 on Saturday. Kaitlin Olson will be there. Nicole Byer, Carl Tart. Jerry O’Connell. Rob Riggle. Kumail Nanjiani. David Wain. Jean Diane Raphael. It is going to be a blast. Ben Lee is going to do a musical performance, people. It’s going to be a big, big show. Now, before we get to your corrections and omissions on the 12 Pups of Christmas episode, we thought we would share a fun deleted scene from that very podcast. You see, I almost didn’t make it to San Francisco. I came extremely close to missing my flight, and this is the story of how my life got turned–done flipped upside down. Sit back, relax and hear the story of how I missed my flight from L.A.X.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:22] I drove here. Wow.
Paul Scheer [00:11:28] I may have to go back with you because I forgot my license.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:31] Oh, God.
Paul Scheer [00:11:31] And I had to convince the TS–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:34] Frantic, a frantic text from Paul Scheer. I’m driving. I’m like, doo doo doo doo doo. Having a great time. “Have you left yet? I left my wallet at home.” and I was like, What?
Paul Scheer [00:11:44] He lives close enough to me. I was like, “Oh if you were going to LAX you could just make a five minute loop out.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:50] But you made it.
Paul Scheer [00:11:51] I made it. I was able to talk to the TSA agent. I luckily remembered the last three addresses I had. One from 2000, which was a little tough to remember.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:00] No way I could never do it.
Paul Scheer [00:12:02] It was so hard. And he’s like, “You don’t remember your address?” I was like, “Bro, 2000.” I was living with like eight people. I don’t even remember–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:09] 22 years ago, my guy. That is a college junior.
Paul Scheer [00:12:14] And then he shook his head.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:16] You’re asking me to remember the specifics of a college junior. Come on, man.
Paul Scheer [00:12:21] He literally shook his head and was like, “Zipcode.” I was like, never. Never will I get that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:26] I love that he thought, at least you’ll get the zip code. What? From 22 years ago? I don’t know the zip code from the town I grew up in.
Paul Scheer [00:12:33] He asked me my dad’s the year of birth. Not just his birthday.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:37] No.
Paul Scheer [00:12:38] Luckily I have it in my phone.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:39] This is amazing. What an incredible series of questions.
Paul Scheer [00:12:44] Yeah, it was a real– There was another guy away who was– like he was the conduit. Anyway, I’m here. Tomorrow, getting home might be tricky. All right, so– And I wasn’t going to miss this because.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:56] That’s right, San Francisco. We’re not going to give up on you. We could have given up. We could have canceled the show. And we said no. Paul punched that TSA agent in the face, ran down, got– opened the door.
Paul Scheer [00:13:11] And I said, you fly me to San Francisco, don’t ask any questions. I kept the pilot headlock. I will be suffering a lot of charges for it, but they let me out for the show.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:19] That’s how we roll and we got to get to San Francisco.
Paul Scheer [00:13:23] That’s right. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce somebody who is part of the reason why we’re doing this movie tonight. A person who is going to have a lot to say. My other co-host, June Diane Raphael.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:46] Positively bounding, bounding onto the stage.
June Diane Raphael [00:13:51] Wow. I just have to say, Paul, I did suggest that you FedEx overnight your ID to get home tomorrow. And you said nah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:04] Now that I know the addresses, I’m set.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:06] Exactly. And I’m like, are you ever going to come home?
Paul Scheer [00:14:11] We’ll see. We’ll see.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:12] Do you live in San Francisco now?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:14] Oh!
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:17] He’s the real Rice-A-Roni, that San Francisco treat.
Paul Scheer [00:14:21] I need– if I figured out if I was able to crash on everybody’s couch here one night, I can live here for a couple of years.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:28] Paul and I get on the flight and we are barely on that plane. I mean, they were they came over. They said, we’re closing the doors. He barely got on the flight. And then both of us.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:39] I want you to know if I showed up at the airport without my license. They are not going to ask me what’s your dad’s birthday or what zip code did you grow up in. I would currently be in an LAX holding facility.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:56] That’s right. You’d be in a camp of some sort, unfortunately.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:01] I’d be in an internment camp of some kind.
June Diane Raphael [00:15:04] Yes. So we’re kind of taking a breath. But people are very aware, because I’ve been talking to the flight attendants. Paul is running on. The flight attendants are talking. He got on. So we’re sort of– we’re a spectacle on the flight. People notice us, you know. And the first thing we do now, Paul, sitting directly in front of me before we take off, is each of us opened up our computer and turned 12 Pups of Christmas. I was thinking about those other passengers like–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:36] What a show. What a show. They’re watching a show of, like, “Whoa, the chaotic energy of the two last people who are freaking out.”.
[00:15:44] Oh, no, she was there, like 40 minutes before I was. Comfortably.
June Diane Raphael [00:15:47] I was there. But I was talking to the flight attendants getting an ETA on when those doors are closing, saying he just passed through security, he’s running. Please. Is there any way you can hold it? Please, please, please. 12 minutes. And she said, “Really just 10.” And I told you. I told you 12.
Paul Scheer [00:16:04] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:04] So I was lying to him. You know, a lot was going on.
Paul Scheer [00:16:08] I needed that 12.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:09] I didn’t want you to give up.
Paul Scheer [00:16:10] 10 would have felt like I couldn’t have done it.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:12] I know. And I knew that. That’s why I gave you two more.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:15] You needed those extra two. Psychologically, you needed those extra two.
Paul Scheer [00:16:18] June is like the the pet therapist in this movie. You knew–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:22] Erin? June is Erin?
Paul Scheer [00:16:25] I couldn’t believe it. I mean, really, I have this little I don’t know, it’s a murse or whatever. It’s a– I call it a bandolier. It’s fanny pack that I don’t wear as a fanny pack. And that thing, I leave it too many places because I forget about it anyway. God dammit. The worst. Anyway, last week we talked at length about the 12 Pups of Christmas. We had questions and we thought that we answered everything, but clearly we missed a few things. Here is your chance to set us straight fact check us, if you will. It is time for corrections and omissions.
Music [00:17:11] [Questions and Omissions Intro Song]
Paul Scheer [00:17:12] Thank you, Joe Foster, for that great theme. Let’s go to the discord. Jay W. writes, “The company’s product, a GPS collar, was inspired to stop dog napping. If you were dog napping, a dog, wouldn’t the first thing you do just remove the collar? Jay W. Fuck yeah. Especially if it was as large as a computer battery from the 1980s. Yeah, you would just take that right off. Great point. Can’t believe we missed that. I guess because there were so many other implausabilities that we just didn’t even catch that one. ASG 1982 writes “If your company was on the verge of bankruptcy, how would you feel about giving some dog therapist who has just hired a penthouse at a hotel in New York for multiple nights? This is after she was given a first class plane ticket, all for a meeting that was completely unrelated to her job.” Yeah. Where are the board of investors? Who is behind this company? This company will fail even with proper tech. Dr. Guts 1003 writes, “Martin says the investor meeting is on Christmas Eve, which means that Martin then makes all these employees come to his house on Christmas Day to tell them that Daddy bailed him out. I know, Carly said the employees of Doggone were a family, but I think these people would rather be with their actual families on Christmas Day.” Now, Scott actually pointed out, producer Scott, that coincidentally, this week’s matinee Monday movie, The Spirit of Christmas, also features an office Christmas party thrown on Christmas Eve. I mean, honestly, that seems like every movie has a Christmas Eve Christmas party. I’ve never been invited to a Christmas Eve Christmas party. I have never gone to one. Why? Because I have loving people in my life and especially I’m not going to fucking work one. Anyway, made for TV holiday movie bosses and I’m gonna say actually even movie bosses need to get their shit together and let their employees spend Christmas and Christmas Eve at home. This is not fucking Scrooge here. Christmas Carol style. Salvador Dolly Parton–I love that name–writes, “I was glad that you talked about the cult midsommar vibes, but did anyone else get the Theranos, The Dropout vibes?” Oh yeah, we did. “My question is, who would you rather go on a double date with Erin or Martin or Elizabeth Holmes and Sonny Balwani circa 2014?” Oh, wow. Erin or Martin for me. Erin or Martin for me, because I think that they’re weirder. Oddly. Which is a weird thing to say. Anyway, I think Elizabeth Holmes kept her shit tight. Like you didn’t know how crazy she was until later. I think in retrospect, she’s crazy. Who knows? Anyway, let’s go to the phone. All right. Our first caller is Todd from Portland. What do you got, Todd?
Todd from Portland [00:19:45] Hi Paul, this is Todd from Portland. Got a question about 12 Pups of Christmas. When I watched it, I actually accidentally watched 12 Dogs of Christmas before the podcast, which is another terrible 90s kids movie involving dogs. But then I realized I watched the wrong movie when I started the podcast and I had to go watch this movie. But in 12 Pups of Christmas, there’s a scene where the main character, Erin is rushing off to work and she’s surrounded by the chaos of all the dogs in the house. And her friend Taylor shows up to the door to apologize for taking Erin’s fiancee. And so Erin punishes Taylor by making Taylor take care of all the dogs. And she rushes out the door to work and saying, “Oh, that dog needs to go to the bathroom already. Better watch out.” So my question is, what were Erin’s plans before Taylor showed up? She has all of those dogs in the house and she was rushing off to work. She doesn’t cancel any dog sitters when Taylor shows up or change any plan. She just leaves. What was she going to do with all those dogs? Just let them crap and pee all over the house? Thanks Paul. Keep up the good work.
Paul Scheer [00:20:45] Good point. Again, we don’t know. I’m guessing the family would take care of it. Or maybe a kennel. Or maybe she was content with seeing those puppies pee on the floor. I mean, at that point, you’re not training them. So maybe she would just put down doggy pads. It felt like– again, we know that Erin is vindictive and wants to hurt people. So I think that she gave her ex best friend a really hard job, not because she was going to do it. But just because she knew it would be hard. Like it was like, “Oh, you know what? While you’re here, why don’t you fix the garbage disposal?” You know, it’s like, I wasn’t going to do it anyway. But now you’re here, I’m going to give you some manual labor. So I think that was like a fuck you punishment that just kind of happened in the moment. I don’t think it was as thought out as she actually had responsibilities. I think that Erin doesn’t care about dogs as we stated, and was going to leave them to just waddle in their own piss and shit. Jenny calling next. What do you got?
Jenny [00:21:34] Hi, Paul. I’m Jenny. I was at the San Francisco show to see the the 12 Pups of Christmas. It was a lot of fun, and I really admired your tech skills and action. Basically, I noticed something weird about the movie. Like, not like everything was super weird in that movie, but Taylor had a really easy time just finding where Erin was staying in the Valley. And then when Erin was in New York, Travis also found her quite easily at the hotel she was staying at. I was wondering, do you think that Erin had a tracker on her? Mm. Just wondering. Thank you so much. You’re great. And I love the show. Bye.
Paul Scheer [00:22:18] Oh, God damn right. You know, you know that Erin is being tracked. I think this is where the sisters come in. I think the sister’s, like, “You know what I’ve done in my research on her, I want to figure it all out.” I think that she knew and this is what we are getting into, the nitty gritty of it. Like Erin did accept this job before she broke up with her fiancé or he broke up with her. So maybe it was spoken about. And then she went there and then talked to that woman at the front desk who seems to be giving out information willy nilly to everybody. I’m just going to guess that that’s actually just really bad corporate structure there, that they give out people’s personal information to whoever asks. All right. Back to Discord. Erin Rene writes, “Omission that had me yelling at my phone like a lunatic. You played clips of the cult party where Erin was welcomed into a new family. The music playing was Jingle Bells. Erin hears it and loudly says, I know this song. Uh, yeah. As do most preschoolers.” Shit. I didn’t even get that. I didn’t even get that. Everybody’s observations are spot on. I love it. I know that song. Geez, this is great. Shauna and Reese write, “Right before Martin heads to jail, he tells Erin, I trust you. And you got this. Assuring her that he thinks that she can save the company. But immediately after she gets out of jail and a tearful Erin explains that what happened Martin doesn’t give a fuck. Why doesn’t Martin care? Because he found a different investor while she was failing, implying that he didn’t think she could do it? I mean, he must have thought to himself on the way to jail, well, now we’re fucked. I better find another investor because she’s definitely a screw things up. Well, that or he was double dipping. He was like, “Well, look, I’ll give you a chance to invest if this other thing falls through. You want to be number two?” I mean, not the best thing to say to somebody investing in your company. But maybe, again, this guy got ahead by, you know, a limited supply, you know. And that gives you high demand? Is that a thing? I don’t know. Cameron H. writes, “One of the weirdest things to me about this film was that it seemed to posit that you cannot own a dog unless one is presented to you. We get a little bit of back story of the people that are gifted puppies and they’re all suitably thankful. But there was never anything stopping these people from simply going to a shelter and getting a dog. Yet they all act like they never even considered it before. As if the idea of getting a dog themselves or ownership of a dog is beyond human comprehension.” Well, guess what? I brought that up. I talked about that when they gift that puppy to their parents who can’t have kids. Like, why were we presenting this as if we don’t know where to get a dog? I think I did talk about that, Cameron, unless Scott edited it out, but I don’t think he did because it was a salient point. Anyway, we have one more deleted scene. This is actually really fun. We had an audience member who had a correction, an additional piece of information from the Great Wall episode with Matt Damon. Now, she waited to present this until we were in San Francisco. She came. So you remember the Great Wall of China. It was a movie with Matt Damon doing an accent that changed from scene to scene and Jackie Chan. It was about defending the Great Wall of China from these, like, Cloverfield monsters, the Tao Tei. And we made some fun of it. It was a little weird. We didn’t understand all about it, but we did have an actual Chinese art historian show up in San Fran, and she gave us the facts. Take a listen.
Paul Scheer [00:25:34] All right. So you said to me, I have some information about the Matt Damon movie, The Great Wall. It will be worth it. So I’m not putting you in the main show. I’m putting you here. Is it worth– come. Come to me. Come to me. Here we go. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? What do you know? And again, reminder. We may not all remember this movie, so set us up the best way you can with this information. Okay?
Listener [00:25:57] The monsters from the Great Wall of China movie with Matt Damon.
Paul Scheer [00:26:00] Yes. These monsters. Like these green creatures. Yeah.
Listener [00:26:03] They’re called the Tao Tei. Which you called Tao Te.
Paul Scheer [00:26:06] Okay.
Listener [00:26:07] Tao Tei.
Paul Scheer [00:26:08] Okay, so. Okay.
Listener [00:26:09] They’re a real thing.
Paul Scheer [00:26:11] These monsters are real?
Listener [00:26:13] No.
Paul Scheer [00:26:16] I was confused when you said it was a real thing. Okay.
Listener [00:26:20] But they’re a real ancient Chinese art history motif found on every single ancient bronze in China since 1000 BCE.
Paul Scheer [00:26:32] Perfect.
Listener [00:26:33] And it being on bronzes. Bronzes, they have now gotten a patina, which means they’re all green.
Paul Scheer [00:26:41] Okay, so they were bronze, now they’re green. And that’s why they’re green. But back then, they would be bronze.
Listener [00:26:46] Yes.
Paul Scheer [00:26:47] Okay.
Listener [00:26:47] So the monsters, themselves, are like the Tao Tei where they have big eyes on the side, tusks that go like this and horns. But they’re not a real monster. They’re just an ancient motif that no one understands.
Paul Scheer [00:27:01] So they’re just like a velvet Elvis or something like that. They’re just. All right, so they were an imagination. All right, so this is– was it worth it?
Listener [00:27:12] I got a tattoo recently because I am a Chinese art historian.
Paul Scheer [00:27:15] You are a Chinese art– well, look at this. Whoa. Beautiful. I can’t. I don’t have a camera. I got, like, David Copperfield. I can’t show it up there, but it’s beautiful. The microphone does not work like that. All right. It was worth it. That was good. We love Chinese art history majors coming in, setting us straight.
Paul Scheer [00:27:37] That is amazing. I’m so happy she came. I’m so happy that we got some old fact checks. If you come to the show and you have a fact check like that, I’ll take them before the show because if they’re good, we’ll put them in the show. So many great corrections and omissions this week. There can only be one that is the absolute best. And I got to tell you, should I give it to the person who actually waited on their Great Wall information for a long time? Maybe. But honestly, the one that got me the one that really opened my eyes was from Erin Renee, who brought up that Erin was so excited that she knew the lyrics to Jingle Bells. Erin Renee, you win this week’s best correction and omission and you get this amazing song from Hill Baker. Hit it!
Music [00:28:31] [Hill Baker Song]
Paul Scheer [00:28:32] All right. If you want to chime in with your own thoughts about the latest episode, hit up the Discord at Discord.gg/HDTGM, or call us at 619-PAULASK. Coming up, Jason and I chat about all the holiday TV and movies that we are currently watching. We’ll be right back.
Paul Scheer [00:28:50] Now you might have noticed on the How Did This Get Made? feed that every Monday we have been pulling old episodes out of the vault and rereleasing them into the rotation. You get to listen to these classics. And last week’s Matinee Monday was The Spirit of Christmas, a great episode with Jessica Sinclair. Next week will be Reindeer Games, which is, I mean, if you don’t know the revelation about Reindeer Games, get ready. Check it out every Monday. Old episodes back into the stream and Reindeer Games with Howard Cramer is one of my favorite episodes. Okay, we have spent a lot of time hearing from you, but now no one has asked me about me. What’s on my mind? Jason and I are going to break into some big Christmas talk. So if you’re in the car with some kids? I would say maybe stop listening now because there are some spoilers. We talk about a lot of things about Christmas. So you know what? Little ears shouldn’t hear the secrets that we know. Anyway, I just want to let all the parents out there know. That’s your warning. And now Tom McWaters hit us with a theme.
Music [00:30:15] [Tom McWaters Song]
Paul Scheer [00:30:17] Jason. Holidays are upon us. I love the holidays because it gives me a chance to catch up on all these things that I’ve been wanting to watch. It’s like the only time of year where I feel like I can just not be responsible for anything. But just to watch the things I’ve been excited to watch.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:36] Oh, yeah. Just catch up. Indulge. It’s great.
Paul Scheer [00:30:38] Wake up. Watch Tar.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:40] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:30:41] Then eat lunch. Watch Tar.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:45] Tar morning, noon and night.
Paul Scheer [00:30:46] Tar all day. Tar holiday.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:52] That’s your family’s new tradition, right?
Paul Scheer [00:30:55] Kids love it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:56] Yeah. Yeah. Every every night of Hanukkah is Tar and Christmas Eve is Tar-smas Eve.
Paul Scheer [00:31:03] Oh, we love to Tar-smas Eve. It’s so– I mean, it’s intense is very intense at the house. But the kids, really, they have a great time.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:13] Your kids don’t believe in Santa Claus. They believe in Cate Blanchett.
Paul Scheer [00:31:18] And we have a little Cate on the shelf. It’s like elf on the shelf, but it’s like you got to hide Cate around.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:24] And sometimes it’s characters. So sometimes it’s Carol, sometimes it’s Tar, you know, it’s Galadriel.
Paul Scheer [00:31:32] It’s weird. It’s the character from, from the Amy Schumer movie too. Very sometimes–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:39] Wait, that’s Emma. That’s Emma Thompson. How dare you.
Paul Scheer [00:31:42] Oh, I’m sorry. That’s Tilda Swinton. I’m sorry. I’ve got it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:45] You know, I kind of get confusing Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton. They have like a similar kind of from another world ethereal energy going on.
Paul Scheer [00:31:54] Yes, there’s something about them that they are like. They are unlike a human being that we’re used to. They’re glowing in a way. I will tell you, by the way, my kids right now are really quizzing us a lot about Santa.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:10] Oh, yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:32:11] About the Elf on the shelf. And I feel like this might be the final year or we’re in the final years. My youngest, oddly, really doesn’t believe it more. I thought. When did you stop believing?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:24] I feel like they’re so young. I feel like I– well, you know, when I was a kid, I mean, I probably believed much later than most just because, you know, I grew up in a small town. I didn’t have any friends. It was not much, you know, speculated on, you know. So I got to be– I’m going to say to maybe 9 or 10.
Paul Scheer [00:32:44] Okay, so my oldest is 8.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:47] Oh okay, then I guess that makes sense.
Paul Scheer [00:32:48] My youngest is six and my youngest keeps on saying like. But you put the presents under the tree, right? You can just tell me. You could just tell me. Like he’s always like, “You can just tell me.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:58] You can just tell me.
Paul Scheer [00:32:59] And but yet they both don’t question the elf on the shelf. Like the elf on the shelf is moving around our house. And the elf makes total sense. The Santa myth is rocky. And I will tell you, as a parent, I’m hating all these Christmas movies that really lead with I know no one believes in Santa. Like, literally, that is the premise of all these movies about Santa. But I guess it’s like trying to like– it’s trying to like circumnavigate it. And you feel it so much more as a parent, like in Elf, which I love and it’s so fucking funny. But the premise of that movie is that like Santas Powers is dwindling because–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:44] Because people don’t believe. Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:33:46] And it’s like and I know that that has to come back and believing is coming back but it is like– I always think that once you put that in a kid’s head like, “Well why don’t people believe?” It starts a domino effect.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:57] I think that’s absolutely true. Yes. No. To have that is even a possibility.
Paul Scheer [00:34:03] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:03] That Santa is to not be believed in. Even if you then provide a Santa Claus like Ed Asner. Santa Claus. It doesn’t matter. Like you set something in motion, which is like, “Wait a minute, as you get older, you don’t believe?” You know?
Paul Scheer [00:34:18] And like once they start asking questions. And my only way to get through it is by not answering them. Like, one person gave me a beautiful piece of advice. She’s a child psychiatrist. And she said to me, you know, we were dealing with, like, the death of someone in our family and we’re like, “Well, what do we say? What do we do?” And the person told us, she said, “Tell the truth, but don’t be too specific.” Like just be like that person is dying.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:51] Like broad strokes.
Paul Scheer [00:34:52] Yeah, broad strokes. Broad strokes and don’t get caught in the weeds. And that’s how I treat Santa. I don’t tell the truth, but they’re like, “How does Santa get down the chimney and do this?” And I’m like “I don’t even know.”.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:01] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:35:02] Like I heard that too.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:03] The same way that if they asked you like, “How does somebody get an operation done on their brain?” You know, like genuinely I don’t know how that job works.
Paul Scheer [00:35:12] I’m like a complete idiot. I’m not even going to try to, like, figure it out because it confounds me, buddy. And that’s–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:21] You know, listen, listen. I don’t envy the guy’s job. You know, it’s got to be really tough stuff.
Paul Scheer [00:35:29] Oh, man, oh, man.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:32] I don’t think the guy’s getting paid?
Paul Scheer [00:35:33] Yeah. I mean, look and these elves, I mean, and then they’re like, “Well, what if we, like, keep the elf here all year?” I’m like, I don’t know. I mean, then the elf can’t go– I mean, that’s kind of holding him a hostage. I just get frustrated by it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:43] Is the mythology around the elf that the elf comes alive at night?
Paul Scheer [00:35:47] The mythology of the elf is that the elf is, or at least the way that I understand it, is sent by Santa to provide him with a naughty or nice list.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:57] Yeah, he’s a fucking spy. This dude’s a narc.
Paul Scheer [00:36:02] And the elf will hide in the house or create little mischief in the house every morning. Now, I will tell you–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:09] I didn’t know there was mischief.
Paul Scheer [00:36:10] Oh, well, if you look on the parents of Instagram that have a lot of time– and by the way, I would love to be one of those parents and I admire what they do. Like I’m talking about like gumdrop shoes and, you know, making snow angels like what the elves are up to, like when you look on the Instagram of it, is it as a parent, it hurts me because I’m like, when do you have the time to do this? I’m barely remembering to move the elf. And there’s some nights I forget or I did. This year I’ve been good. But yeah, so the idea is that the elf is like always watching and narcing on you.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:44] But that’s like such a weird thing to convince a child is real.
Paul Scheer [00:36:50] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:51] Is like this thing–
Paul Scheer [00:36:52] It’s a doll. It’s a stuffed doll.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:54] This doll. And if they at any other time of the year brought you a doll and said, “I think this doll, at night, comes alive and is watching me and moves around and moves stuff.” You’d be like, “No way, absolutely not.” But if they bring you the elf doll and say, “I think this this doll is moving around and watching me and causing mischief.” You’re like, “Yup, that’s what this one does.”.
Paul Scheer [00:37:14] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:15] This one is special. And it is sentient. It’s watching you all the time.
Paul Scheer [00:37:22] And it’s and the idea is like, it’s not even a doll. It is a human. It is a human elf. Like the mythology is that like, “Oh, Santa put a special piece of magic in your favorite doll.” It’s like, No, no, no. This is an elf that looks like a doll. You can’t touch it. If you touch it, it doesn’t move. And I think the idea of not touching it is so the kids don’t play with it. There’s a lot going on and I am dreading the day of like revealing it. And I think we’ll have to go down together and we have our next door neighbor is Jewish. And he has been poking a lot of holes in our fantasies. And not even in a like he’s trying to, he’s just like, he’s asking smart questions. He’s a smart kid.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:04] The questions you would like a kid to investigate.
Paul Scheer [00:38:08] No, my kids are buying it hook, line and sinker.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:10] Your kids are weaker as a result. They’re like. “Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I’m cool with a thing that just watches me and records my progress or my whatever. I’m cool with that.”
Paul Scheer [00:38:21] I’m writing letters and trying to do things with my handwriting at certain times so they can’t imagine it as being that I’m like– and it is as a parent. Like, I’ve seen, like, you know, other parents very vocally be like, “I’m not telling my kids about Santa because I don’t want to lie to them.” I do think that there’s something really beautiful about this. It’s fun. We’re just doing some fun. It’s not like. Like it’s not lying. Yes, you’re lying to them. But it’s like part of the fun of being a kid. Like, I don’t understand. Like being like that kind of parent.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:52] It’s also like and I’m wondering, like, if your kids were like, would you, you know, like– I remember with my nieces, they were into making fairy houses for fairies that lived in the forest. And and they would make– and there wasn’t any kind of like, “No, that’s not real. There are no fairies. If you see lights out there, it’s just, you know, fireflies. You’re dumb.” You know, you’re participating in a bit of of of magic and a bit of, like, fantasy for them to live inside of. Which is great.
Paul Scheer [00:39:22] Yeah. Which I think is like, helpful for their imagination. But it’s like, but man, oh, man. As they get older, it’s harder and harder because before they didn’t really ask questions. Now they get– they they want to know. I think the ideal, the ideal way of doing it is that they stop caring about Santa, but they also still like all like all the things in the holiday. It’s like it’s not like you’re ripping the rug out, like, “And then this year, you get no gifts.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:50] No, no. You still want to transition it into “these are the traditions of our family, even if we don’t necessarily believe in Santa Claus.” By the way, how many people are listening to this in the car with their kids being like, oh, no, not.
Paul Scheer [00:40:03] Sorry. We must give a warning. I’ll give a warning before. Can I tell you the thing that my mom did that really started to make me question the Easter Bunny. My mom was a big Easter Bunny person, and she cut out footprints for the Easter Bunny. So when I woke up in the morning, there were paper footprints like Easter Bunny footprints around the house. And in my child, like mine, I never was like, “Well, why would he be leaving paper footprints?” But I remember it so fondly. I don’t remember when we talked about there is no Santa, there is no this but like it’s so funny what you– where the logic just goes out the window.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:46] Oh, yeah. My parents, I remember when I was a kid, they got like jingle bell bells, you know, like sleigh bell type bells and would sneak up into the attic and, like, late at night, when they knew we were still staying awake, they would kind of stomp around and do the bells.
Paul Scheer [00:41:06] Oh, I love that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:07] Which was like, “Oh, my God, Santa. That is Santa. Santa is here. Oh, my God.”
Paul Scheer [00:41:12] Well, do you know that there is– my friend lives in the Netherlands and one of the traditions he is open to this year was that I guess like about three or four days ago. There’s a tradition where Santa practices his run. It’s like before Christmas Eve, I’m going to do it. So what you do is you tell your neighbor to bang on the walls and make a lot of noise like you’re Santa. So, like, the house feels like, oh, my gosh, something’s going on. And it’s like this, again, a further idea of, like, Santa is– of course he’s got to prep. You know, this is it. I love that idea. And my friends, said that it, like, also scared the shit out of his kids.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:57] Well, yeah, because, you know, like on a non magic, if you’re participating in magical thinking of it and you’re on board, everything seems incredible. But then when you, if you apply even the smallest amount of real world logic to it, which kids are at a certain age constantly living inside of a logical world and inside of a fantasy world. But when you start to apply logic to it, you’re like, “Wait a minute, there is a stranger who has access to my house?” Like, everything about this is, I’m told, very wrong. You know?
Paul Scheer [00:42:31] By the way, you know, look, we talk a lot about bad movies and things like that. And I don’t want to shit on anything unnecessarily because that would be unlike anything I do. But Jason, the Santa Claus series, the Tim Allen series.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:51] Yes. Okay. I’ve never seen them, but I’m aware of it.
Paul Scheer [00:42:53] I’ve never seen the movies. But I put on the series. Whoa, woof. Like woof in the idea that it’s weird because obviously Tim Allen brings with him some baggage, some baggage as a human being that I don’t think he necessarily had that much when he was home improvement Tim Allen, which is when he shot these original movies.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:17] I was going to say the movies are from that era, right? These are from like 20 plus years ago.
Paul Scheer [00:43:23] Yes. And then this series is a brand new series that just was shot now. And I will tell you that this is one of the scenes. Santa’s sitting down with his elves to make his naughty and nice list. And he’s like, all right, well, that person’s naughty. And an elf’s like, “We don’t like to use that term.” And like, it’s all these weird microaggressions and wokeness, but like, Santa is oddly on the side of Wokeness, but being like, “Oh, can you believe this?” Like, he holds up like a sweater that says, “Santa, sit on my lap.” He’s like, “Can you believe that people are wearing this? This is not the spirit of Christmas.” And he’s so upset that he can’t, like, call kids naughty. It’s so weird.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:10] Are we sure this isn’t in an adaptation of like the Bill O’Reilly book Killing Santa.
Paul Scheer [00:44:16] I mean, it really does feel like there are– And so the whole premise of the movie or the mini series, I should say, is that Santa is like– because if the premise of the Santa Clause is that Tim Allen is a normal dude, he goes out on his front lawn on Christmas Eve to see what was on the roof. It’s Santa, but he scares Santa. I believe this is what it is. And Santa then slips on the roof, falls down and breaks his neck.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:43] So he kills Santa.
Paul Scheer [00:44:45] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:46] Wow. And then has to, like, step in and fill his shoes.
Paul Scheer [00:44:53] Well, yes, because the Santa Clause is that anyone who kills Santa has to take his place. The clause. Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:00] So the movie the whole movie series is about Tim Allen murdering Santa?
Paul Scheer [00:45:06] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:11] That in and of itself is shocking.
Paul Scheer [00:45:13] Yeah. It’s rough and, you know. Yeah, it is. And so that’s the premise. Like normal guy becomes Santa Claus. That’s like, I guess where it starts. And now this is like normal guy has been Santa Claus and is like, “I’m tired of doing it now. I need to retire.” So it’s like Santa wants to retire and he’s trying to recruit Kal Penn, who is like an Elon Musk slash Jeff Bezos, like entrepreneur billionaire, who I mean, it’s–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:45] And wait, is he, is Tim Allen. I know this is not the case, but boy, what I love it if it is Tim Allen trying to get someone to kill him. So that they can become Santa Claus.
Paul Scheer [00:45:56] There is a Santa Claus Clause. Where he can– and again, June was so angry with the Santa Clause mini series that she was like, “Turn it off.” But my kids oddly love it. So what do we know? It’s weird. It’s like, oh, and also there are two kids in the movie that play elves. They’re kids right. And but they’re married, so it’s watching, like, two kids be like, “Come here, sweetie, give me a kiss.” And she’s like, “Not while we’re at work.” But it’s like. It’s weird.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:30] Wait, they’re played by kids, but they’re supposed to be adults.
Paul Scheer [00:46:32] Yes. Because they’re elves. But they’re like, “Come on, give me a smooch here, honey.” And she’s like, “I can’t smooch you at work.” It’s like, oh, it’s weird. It’s weird to see all that sort of stuff.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:46] What a fucking weird ass series of things to put in a kid’s series.
Paul Scheer [00:46:52] Oh, and then Casey Wilson is in this series as well.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:56] Oh wow.
Paul Scheer [00:46:57] And for one little scene in the opening. But even this is like her– she plays it really great. It’s a funny scene, but the idea is that Santa is like, “I’m not feeling magical anymore. I’m losing my powers. I don’t want to do this. Like I’m losing the lust for life here. I need to go back to like Michigan, where I’m from and, like, live my normal life again with my wife.” He’s like, “I know what will cheer me up. I’m going to go visit this kid that I loved. She always believed in Santa. And it’s Casey Wilson. But Casey Wilson is living on her parent’s couch. She’s unemployed and, like primely depressed because her life hasn’t worked out great.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:33] Because she still believes in Santa.
Paul Scheer [00:47:35] No. Just because she’s living a life that did not turn out the way that she wanted.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:44] So kids need to see that. Kids need to see that that’s a path of life.
Paul Scheer [00:47:47] What the fuck is going on? I’m like, what is going on here?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:51] (Sighs) If you don’t do it right, kids, you could end up like this.
Paul Scheer [00:47:55] And he gives her a Polly Pocket, which I guess to like this, you know, person in their 30s that are living in their parents house and miserable because they fall asleep on the couch. And, like, there’s a lot of questions I’m having. But anyway.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:11] I love it. I love it.
Paul Scheer [00:48:14] I didn’t mean to derail us with The Santa Clauses, and you know, and it continues. I’ve watched the first four.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:20] Wow. This is like your favorite show.
Paul Scheer [00:48:23] Well, you know, I was kind of like, I got to let me watch a little bit more. Well, what else if happening? Let me see where it goes. And it’s rough. It’s rough stuff. It’s rough because also, like, it is weird to be like Santa is like, “Oh, the perfect replacement for me is this tech billionaire.” Like, you know, who delivers a lot of toys to everything. Like, it’s like, oh, well, Amazon delivered a lot of shit like so the tech billionaire can. And then, he does interview like– was it Drew Brees the quarterback? He’s like Drew Brees, you deliver packages but I see that you only have a 60% rate of completion. That’s not good enough. It’s like, what the fuck am I watching?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:08] I love it and I loved it. You make it sound absolutely absurd. Of course, I’m sure it is. But that your kids are like, “Nope, we love it.” We’re just on unabashedly on board.
Paul Scheer [00:49:20] Yeah. And I think it’s because, you know, I think it’s because also there’s a part of them that is like, Oh, Santa, and this is fun. And I’m looking at some stuff and they’re not reading it like maybe it is working on.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:34] It’s working enough for them.
Paul Scheer [00:49:36] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:36] It’s working enough for them. And these Santa stories are few and far between except for this time of year. So I guess they’ll take what they can get.
Paul Scheer [00:49:43] Well, I mean, again, not so few and far between anymore. It feels like everyone’s got a Christmas special.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:50] Oh, my God. That’s so true.
Paul Scheer [00:49:51] I’m in one. I’m in a Christmas movie this year.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:53] What are you in?
Paul Scheer [00:49:54] I’m in this movie called The Binge 2: It’s a Wonderful Binge, which is on Hulu right now. But it’s an adult. Yes. The Binge one is about a world in the future where drinking and drugs are illegal, except for one day where everyone gets stoned and drunk and there’s no consequences.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:12] The Binge is like The Purge.
Paul Scheer [00:50:13] 100%.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:14] Got it.
Paul Scheer [00:50:14] So that was so successful, they made a second one. But they’re like, “Can you make it a Christmas movie?” So they just changed the binge to Christmas Eve.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:20] Oh, oh.
Paul Scheer [00:50:20] And but I will say I have a very small part in it. It’s fun. Jordan VanDina directed it, who did the Fast 9 reading. Remember, we did that Fast 9 reading? He wrote that. So, so long story short, the Binge is on Christmas Eve, but Tim Meadows and Kaitlin Olson are in this movie, and I think it’s my favorite Tim Meadows performance I’ve seen. It’s so funny. Danny Trejo.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:44] So funny.
Paul Scheer [00:50:45] Tim Meadows is great. He played with us at dinosaur and he’s just like–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:49] I did a show called No Activity with him. On CBS All Access. And he was fantastic. And he’s just really, he’s one of my favorite recurring Brooklyn Nine-Nine characters.
Paul Scheer [00:50:58] Oh, yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:59] He’s so funny.
Paul Scheer [00:51:00] He’s just low key, solid in everything he does.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:04] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Incredible. And and a great dude. Oh, that’s cool. I like that. I watched the, um, the Justin Long Christmas movie that’s like, R-rated.
Paul Scheer [00:51:17] Oh, which is that?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:18] Uh, Christmas with the Campbells is what it’s called.
Paul Scheer [00:51:21] Okay. And it’s an adult one?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:23] It’s an adult one. It’s basically it’s almost a spoof. You know, it’s almost a spoof of a Hallmark Christmas movie. It has all of the tropes and all of the archetypes of one of those movies, except it’s overtly a comedy.
Paul Scheer [00:51:41] Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:42] Julia Duffy and George Wendt are the parents, and Justin Long and Alex Moffat from SNL are that kind of two dudes. And then Brittany Snow is at the center of it, just doing the best, like everybody’s acting like a lunatic. And then they cut to her giving like, oh, wait a second. “What’s going on?” look. She’s doing takes that are so funny and so small in the face of just gigantic nonsense. I don’t know. It was not what I was expecting and I was delighted by it.
Paul Scheer [00:52:11] Oh, I’m very excited to see that. I will say and we don’t have to get into it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:16] It is R-rated like it is full blown. Like adult.
Paul Scheer [00:52:19] You know, I saw this poster and it looked to me like a straight up like Hallmark movie. So–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:26] Exactly. It’s shot like one. And everybody’s doing performances like they think they’re in one. It’s very– it’s not like it’s not like bulletproof but they do a good job, you know? They do a good job, I think, of sending up those kind of movies while also doing one.
Paul Scheer [00:52:46] Okay. You know, I’m very excited to watch this. And I will say that I’m in a little bit of a Justin Long renaissance because I mean, you know, maybe it’s another episode to talk about this, but Barbarian. His performance.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:55] I haven’t watched it yet.
Paul Scheer [00:52:57] Wow. His performance is like I don’t want to, like, oversell it, but I will just say it’s a goddamn masterpiece only because–
Paul Scheer [00:53:11] — he is primarily by himself.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:13] Oh, wow.
Paul Scheer [00:53:14] And it is all things. And I won’t say more than that because I heard his performance is good and it just, I think what really impressed me was it is very good, but he’s also by himself in a majority of the movie and it’s really fun to watch him kind of to chip away at it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:35] All right. Yeah. I like it.
Paul Scheer [00:53:39] Is there any like do you have a Christmas tradition? Do you like a movie that you have when you go to a bunch during the season?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:44] You know, I will watch. I’m trying to think. You know, I’m always happy to watch an Elf or a Love, Actually, or a Family Stone. These are all Christmas movies that I really like.
Paul Scheer [00:53:56] I’ve never seen Family Stone.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:58] Fantastic. Get involved with Family Stone.
Paul Scheer [00:54:01] All right. You got to give me two good ones.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:03] Oh, yeah. Love Actually, you know, I just I really love. I also find this time of year, I want to rewatch like winter and holiday episodes of Gilmore Girls or like all of those things that are similarly vibes wise. But like, for example, I don’t watch like Miracle on 34th Street or It’s a Wonderful Life. I don’t I don’t rewatch any of those older Christmas movies, butthose newer ones. I for sure do.
Paul Scheer [00:54:29] I’ve been saving Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special because I want to get a little closer to the holiday. I want to get there. I wanted in there.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:38] I had a great time.
Paul Scheer [00:54:40] I am very excited for that. I will. Yeah. I’m sorry go ahead.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:45] No, no, go ahead. I was going to say similarly, like, are there any like you either have had as a tradition from your youth or that you guys now do with your kids?
Paul Scheer [00:54:55] I will say that Home Alone has really risen to the top.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:00] Oh, and Die Dard.
Paul Scheer [00:55:02] I just watched Die Hard last night. And Home Alone is very high on our list. I will also say that Christmas vacation is one we revisit a lot. And my personal favorite, which I’m realizing not everyone agrees with me about and even Bill Murray doesn’t agree with me is Scrooged. I love Scrooged.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:24] Oh yeah. And that’s one I haven’t watched in a very long time. On June’s recommendation, last year I watched Mixed Nuts for the first time.
Paul Scheer [00:55:32] The last Just Chat that June sat in for she gave a very full throated endorsement of Mixed Nuts.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:36] Oh yeah. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. It’s a little rocky at times, but I mean, great. I absolutely adored it. It’s also like, it’s a movie having never seen it, that is, you know, it’s Liev Schreiber, it’s Steve Martin, it’s Rita Wilson. It’s, you know, everybody it’s oh, it’s I mean, the best. The greatest. What’s her name from Young Frankenstein?
Paul Scheer [00:56:05] Oh, Madeline Kahn.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:06] Madeline Kahn. I mean, give it to me forever. You know?
Paul Scheer [00:56:11] It really has a great cast. It’s an odd tone that I feel that they do nail. But you’re right, it’s a little rocky, but then you get invested in it like Anthony LaPaglia is great. It is it is odd that it’s like June’s favorite one because it doesn’t really like– I mean, I think California Christmas is a tough thing to do anyway.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:28] It’s very hard.
Paul Scheer [00:56:29] Yeah, because it looks like L.A. story. And the only thing that lets you know that it’s Christmas is just like–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:35] The Santa suit. Somebody is wearing a Santa suit and two people are trying to get a tree. Like it’s very not Christmassy in that way, but it is a very fun movie.
Paul Scheer [00:56:44] Yeah. Okay. Well, I’m glad– see there you go. So there’s more recommendations to that. I, I love just kind of– I mean, I also am in the zone where I will, uh, pop on and maybe it’s not up your alley, but I will pop on a Melissa Joan Hart like I watched one with her.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:02] Interesting.
Paul Scheer [00:57:02] And the dude, like that young kid who is like– he was on blossom the brother of Joey Lawrence. They do a handful of them together and there’s one where Joey Lawrence and his brother, we did the money playing movie last year. They do a holiday one where she falls in love with both brothers at the same time, and they both invite her home for the holidays and she picks one. But then the other one is like, “Oh, but that’s my brother.” And there is–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:29] She doesn’t know she’s dating brothers?
Paul Scheer [00:57:30] No.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:31] Amazing.
Paul Scheer [00:57:32] It’s great. And there’s one moment where they’re having a very tense meal, but it’s like one of these cheapo movies and they’re all eating turkey subs. The entire table is that turkey sub’s on plates.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:45] Amazing. I love that.
Paul Scheer [00:57:46] So I will occasionally dive into– not even for the show.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:53] That’s like you finding 12 Pups of Christmas that we just did because you literally just watched it last year.
Paul Scheer [00:57:58] I love it. Those are really fun for me because it gives me like the spirit of Christmas. But also I am very enjoying– like she did one called The Very Merry Toy Store where she runs a toy store. She did one called like Dear, Dear, Dear Christmas, which is a guy named Chris Mas. Like, you know, it’s like there’s so many– there’s one called Broadcasting Christmas, which I think is on my docket for this year. [indiscernible]. Yeah, she’s like she literally has made a– like she has a full line up of Christmas movies. Like that’s all she makes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:36] Did you watch the Lindsay Lohan one?
Paul Scheer [00:58:38] No, because April said it wasn’t good enough for us.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:41] Okay.
Paul Scheer [00:58:41] Yeah, but it could have been.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:44] I saw the thumbnail for it the other day on– is it on Hulu or one of them? And I was like, oh, this looks like something we would cover immediately.
Paul Scheer [00:58:52] By the way, I just want to say that one of the movies that she produced, Jason, is a Mario Lopez movie called Feliz Navidad, Dad. Feliz NaviDAD.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:03] Amazing. Amazing. I want to watch that.
Paul Scheer [00:59:09] I need it. I need it. But yeah, I think she produces like one or two a year. Well Jason, I know this is like a different kind of just chat, but it was lovely to just chat with you.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:19] I loved just chatting.
Paul Scheer [00:59:21] All right. Now that we got 12 Pups of Christmas out of the way, let’s talk about next week’s movie. You’re going to want to forget about the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, because this year we are celebrating the holidays with The Ghost in the Machine. That’s right. Next week, we are watching the 1993 sci-fi thriller Ghost in the Machine. Here’s a short breakdown of the plot. An electrical surge causes a serial killer’s soul to end up in a computer system. Boom. You don’t need anything more than that. This movie is ready to 11% on Rotten Tomatoes and Mark Savlov from the Austin Chronicle says “Jumbled messy and inconsistent with its in film logic, Ghost in the Machine’s cardinal sin is in its complete lack of backstory. To wit, who are these people and why should we care? Wow, a perfect How Did This Get Made review. Anyway, let’s take a listen to the Ghost in the Machine trailer.
Trailer [01:00:04] From the director of Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, comes the deadliest killer of them all.
Trailer [01:00:12] “He’s in the computer.”.
Trailer [01:00:14] “No, that’s impossible.”
Trailer [01:00:15] He’s on the loose.
Trailer [01:00:17] “Someone or something is coming after my son and my friend.”.
Trailer [01:00:21] “You can’t run. You can’t hide. You can’t win.”.
Trailer [01:00:27] Ghost in the Machine. Rated R. Starts Wednesday in theaters everywhere.
Paul Scheer [01:00:33] You can rent Ghost in the Machine on Amazon, Apple TV or YouTube. I encourage you to also check out Hoopla or Kanopy, which are digital media services offered by your local public library that allow you to borrow movies, books, audiobooks, e-books, comics and TV shows on your computer, tablet, or phone for free. All right. That is it. Please remember to rate and review the show. And if you listen on Apple Podcasts, make sure you are following us. Visit us on social media at all platforms @HDTGM and for commercial free access to. How Did This Get Made and our entire archive and so much more. Sign up for Stitcher Premium for a free one month trial. Use the code “bonkers”. A big thank you to our producers, Scott, Sunny, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer Ava Haley and our publisher, July Diaz, and a very extra special thank you and a bittersweet goodbye to our engineer and friend, Devon Bryant. This will sadly be Devin’s last recording. We gave him a hero sendoff in San Francisco, but truly, the reason why this show sounds so damn good, the live shows, especially the remastered Drop Dead Fred album, is all because of Devon. Devon really upgraded our game and not only upgraded our game from an audio level, he upgraded our game as just being an amazing collaborator on this show, a person that got what we were doing and always was incredibly additive. We are so sorry to see him go and this is not as sincere as I would be if I was talking to Devon. He knows I feel this way and I spoke to him so much. So give him a lot of love. Follow him at Baffle Gabs on Twitter. You can also follow him on Painkiller the Pigeon on Instagram and you’ll see what he is up to, where he’s going, and he’s doing some really exciting stuff.
Paul Scheer [01:02:06] (Live Show) We ready? Devon, how you feeling? You’re good. All right. Great. Devon’s in the way back. Tricky for him. He’s recording the show. Can’t see a thing, but that’s how good he is. Amazing producer. Amazing Editor. They put him backstage. All right. So doing it blindfolded. All right. Here we go.
Paul Scheer [01:02:26] All right. That’s it, people we’ll see you next week.
November 26, 2023
Guest Conan O’Brien
Conan O’Brien (Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend) joins Paul, June, and Jason to discuss the 1993 romantic comedy and the final installment in the series, Look Who’s Talking Now starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley.