EP. 106 — Tasmanian Sex Ed Circus Performer

[00:00:44] Hello to all my aerialists flying high up in the sky. This is Beautiful Anonymous. One hour, one phone call. No names, no holds barred.

[00:00:15] THEME MUSIC: I’d rather go one-on-one. I think it’ll be more fun and I’ll get to know you and you’ll get to know me.

[00:01:09] Chris: [music transition] Hello, everybody. My name’s Chris Gethard, you’re listening to Beautiful Anonymous. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for downloading. Thanks for pushing play. Thanks for letting this be a part of my life because I continue, two years, I continue to be blown away at what I get to experience with this show, talking to people one on one, remembering everybody’s got a story. Feeling like I get to help you guys be a fly on the wall, listen to actual human experiences in a world that seems to be getting progressively less empathetic with each passing day. I really thank you, guys. So genuinely. Thank you. Last week’s episode. I really liked it. And I was glad you guys dug it, too. A lot of people really loved that caller, telling us about what it’s like to live in Japan and to sort of be stuck in between. I thought it was really cool and a lot of people were… I was really blown away too, a lot of people on the Beautiful Anonymous Facebook group, the community there, which you should join if you want to talk about these episodes… A lot of people were saying, I live in Japan and this nails it. A lot of people actually leaving comments that I don’t know what they said because they were in Japanese. It’s really cool to see. My favorite comment, the one that made me laugh, I pointed out that that our caller last week had a bit of maybe a California accent. I was sensing maybe whoever taught them in their early formative days of English had that accent. Andrea left a comment that said “this guy didn’t just kinda have a Southern California accent. He sounded like he was currently on a surfboard.” That one made me giggle. Thank you for that, Andrea. Thanks for being a part of that group, thanks to everybody who’s part of that group. Chris Gethard Show as always, like to plug it, because Tuesdays have officially become the craziest day of my week because we have Beautiful Anonymous in the morning and the Chris Gethard Show live on Tru TV 11 p.m. at night. And this coming out April 3rd. Got a big show tonight. Will Ferrell. Yeah, Will Ferrell coming through. That’s no joke. Musical guest Chris Faren, friend of the show. So if you want to set the DVR, see your old pal Gethard trying to keep his head above water, keeping up with the comedic institution that is Will Ferrell, you may get a kick out of that one tonight. The show you’re about to hear, I was super psyched. This is one of our live shows that happened at the Bell House in Brooklyn. Tell you, those crowds came out and Brooklyn. Thank you guys for supporting the show. So cool to meet all you guys and just be in the same room as so many warm people, let alone my own home turf. New York City Bell House, place where I performed, crowd was hot. Caller was really great. I tell you, Jared, Harry, the whole team had had a really brilliant idea of maybe coming up with some international numbers. We’ve used them a couple times. This live show was actually, we put out the American number and an Australian phone number. We just also floated out an Australian number. It was the first time that I got a call through that. So that was really cool to be sitting there in my, my home turf, Brooklyn, New York, talking with someone on the other side of the world about what it’s like. This is a person from Tasmania, place that I had, I will cop to, largely ignorant of outside of cartoons and footage of crazy animals. Got to hear about what it was like to travel with the circus. That was cool, right? Running away with the circus is like an archetype. It’s like a trope. It’s a phrase this person actually did that, ran away with the circus, told us about that circus life, and told us about what it’s like to move on from that whole new life. I liked it. I thought the caller was cool. I thought the crowd was hot. I had a good time. Felt like a real celebration. Thank you guys for supporting this show. I hope you enjoyed the call.

[00:04:42] PHONE ROBOT: Thank you for calling Beautiful Anonymous a beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host. [Beep]

[00:04:50] Chris: Hello?

[00:04:51] Caller: Hi?

[00:04:52] Chris: Hi, how are you?

[00:04:53] Caller: Hello?

[00:04:52] Chris: Yes, hi.

[00:04:55] Caller: No freaking way. Is it me?

[00:04:58] Chris: Yeah. You got through.

[00:05:01] Caller: Oh, my God. Unbelievable. I’m so ready for this. I just sent my boss an e-mail saying I’m online now, and I’m walking out the door with my sunglasses because this day just got awesome. Chris Gethard!

[00:05:15] Chris: Where are you from? Yeah. Hi. Where are you from?

[00:05:20] Caller: You haven’t guessed yet. Can you guess it? You gotta guess!

[00:05:24] Chris: Everyone in Brooklyn is yelling Australia.

[00:05:29] Caller: They are all correct.

[00:05:31] Chris:All correct. All correct. There is one person who tried to slip in a New Zealand at the end…wrong, wrong!

[00:05:41] Caller:Well, well, you know, they could have been like half right. cause I’m actually from Tasmania, it’s like a little island on the bottom Australia. We have, we have a little bit of independent island pride, like the Kiwis, but, you know, not Kiwi.

[00:05:57] Chris:Well, so you’re you’re from Tasmania, but you live in Australia currently?

[00:06:02] Caller:No, I’m in, I’m in Tasmania. Tasmania is Australia.

[00:06:06] Chris:So everyone was actually wrong. Everyone was actually wrong.

[00:06:09] Caller: No, they’re right. Tasmania is Australia.

[00:06:11] Chris: Oh, I thought Tasmania was its own nation.

[00:06:17] We’d like to think so. But no, sorry… we’re just a state.

[00:06:25] Chris:Okay. Well, you learn something new every day. I wanted to let you know you clearly picked up on this already. There is a crowd here. They’re all very friendly. They’ve all got your back. The only, the only difference, the only difference between this and a regular call is that they can use their phones to send me questions for you throughout. So I might, I might at times go to their questions throughout. They’re using a hashtag, which someone actually just used to tell me, Catherine in the crowd tonight said “Chris Gethard is dressed like a big boy Charlie Brown.” So they’re contributing things like that tonight.

[00:07:04] Caller:That’s awesome. Lucky for you.

[00:07:09] Chris: Maybe. Yeah. Maybe.

[00:07:10] You know, I’m kind of, I’m kind of glad that I got through at this time because I’m pretty new to the podcast. I haven’t really listened to loads. I’ve listened to some and I’m really getting into it. But I feel like I’m getting to know you loads and I feel like that might ruin the magic a bit. I thought it would be cool if I didn’t know you at all, but I know some things about you now. Like I’m pretty keen to tell you about platypuses. Or platypi. Because you’re interested in them, right?

[00:07:40] Chris:Well. When you said platypuses, correct?

[00:07:44] Caller: Yeah, I think, I think it is platypuses. Not platypi.

[00:07:47] Chris:Either way, I find them to be a fascinating, yet somewhat terrifying animal. From what I’ve seen. Well, they look like a thing that shouldn’t exist on earth.

[00:08:05] Caller:Y eah. But just because they’re not very common, right? Like I’m sure as a human, if there was only like three humans would be like “they’re weird with pink fleshy things” and no, nothing to defend themselves with except brains. But they’re not going to win in a fight with teeth and claws, are they?

[00:08:23] Chris: You’ve got some great points there. Now, is the platypus a thing that you just run into from time to time in Tasmania?

[00:08:30] Caller: I really want to bullshit you and say it is, but it’s not, sorry. They’re pretty rare. I grew up here and I saw one, kind of, like I think it was a platypus, when I was growing up. And then when I moved back here with my fiancee in my mid 20’s, I saw three in the first year. So I think actually he’s a bit of a platypus attracter.

[00:08:54] Chris:Oh, wow, that’s cool. That’s a sign that you’re marrying the right person, right?

[00:09:02] Caller: It’s gotta be, surely, I’m taking it as a win.

[00:09:05] Chris: Yeah. Now, how do you feel that most Americans only know your island via cartoon character known as the Tasmanian Devil?

[00:09:14] Caller: Well, yeah, I just tell people that it’s not brown. It doesn’t spin. Then it doesn’t go [weird Tasmanian Devil noise]. It’s none of those things. And also, a lot of people think that we’re in Africa. I get that a lot. They think Tasmania is Tanzania.

[00:09:32] Chris: Got it. Got it. Someone in the crowd just yelled “sorry” because they clearly thought that up until this moment.

[00:09:42] Caller: Well, I’m happy to clarify, so now all those people know the truth.

[00:09:47] Chris: You’re filling us in. It’s awfully nice of you. And I’ll tell you, you got this crowd charmed already. And I think we’re gonna have a hell of an hour together. I’m excited.

[00:09:57] Caller: Aw shucks, guys.

[00:09:58] Chris: Now, what is… Should we just shoot the breeze or was there anything specific you wanted to fill us in on?

[00:10:04] Caller: Oh, god. You know, this could go in so many different directions, so many different ways, I think. And I don’t even know where to start. I’m at work. So I was like kind of listening to the first bit of the show, but not really, because I had you on speaker next to my computer as I was trying to work out how to explain consent to high school kids.

[00:10:29] Chris: How to explain what to high school kids?  Consent, that’s your job. I’m familiar, I assure you, I assure you.

[00:10:38] Caller: Good, I hope so. Yeah. Yes. Right.

[00:10:42] Chris: Yeah, yes, alright. Yeah. That’s a pretty important gig these days, huh?

[00:10:47] Caller: Yeah. I feel like I’m contributing something positive to the world. I really like it. It’s actually new. I only started last year, but my previous skill set applies quite well to this job.

[00:11:00] Chris: Well, that’s an interesting tidbit. You just dangle that there. What’s your what’s your previous skill set?

[00:11:06] Caller: Yeah, I spent most of my career thus far as a circus performer, actually

[00:11:12] Chris: As a circus performer?

[00:11:14] Caller: And yeah, I know your wife does some aerial, right?

[00:11:18] Chris: Yeah. My wife has done a bunch of aerials.

[00:11:20] Caller: Cool. Well, yeah, that’s, that’s my main thing. So I toured around Europe for about 10 years doing that. And then I got tired of traveling.

[00:11:31] Chris: What was your act? You did a lot of aerials. We talking a, silk’s here? Are we talking? What’s the one? It’s not called a Hula-Hoop. They call it something else, right? A lira, lira. Yes, yes, yes.

[00:11:48] Caller: No, actually, I didn’t really do static aerial. That’s like where the thing is static in the air and you move around it. I did more dynamic aerials. I did like swinging trapeze and flying trapeze.

[00:12:01] Chris: That’s the badass stuff. Now can I ask you something. And I’m not trying to put words in my my wife’s mouth, but via being married to her, I’ve hung out with a number of aerialists. I get the sense sometimes that there’s a little bit of like a ranking system of the acts here, like, do you look at the stationary people… do you look at the stationary acts people and are like, “C’mon, man, let’s get in it for real, or get out.”

[00:12:31] Caller: [Laughs] Oh, no. Actually, in my brain, it goes the other way because, since I moved back home, I started teaching and we don’t really have the capacity for swinging trapeze or flying trapeze here, don’t have the space. So getting into static aerial and teaching it, and before I just use it as conditioning, and it’s hard. It’s so hard. It’s way harder than swinging because I guess with swinging and flying you use the momentum. So as long as you move at the right time, then it kind of does the work for you. But with static aerial, you’ve got to lift your own body weight the whole time, and that’s really exhausting. So I would say it’s the other way. But sure, yeah, I’m way more badass.

[00:13:17] Chris: Now wait, were you so were you were you were you being facetious or do you actually say that your skills as an aerial-borne circus performer do apply and help you with your new career as someone who explains consent to teenagers?

[00:13:35] Caller: Yeah, yeah, totally. I realize it’s a bit of a leap, but I’ve been a teacher like forever.

[00:13:43] Chris: Oh, the crowd thought you were making an aerialist pun, just so you know. When you said “making a leap” I think they were like “fucking aerialists… always talking about leaping”

[00:13:52] Caller: Oh my god, yea, I totally did.

[00:13:55] Chris: God forbid you stay on the ground.

[00:14:00] Caller: I’m going to make a little tangent here. I do not understand innuendo. I don’t get it. I don’t say it and I don’t hear it. And I make inappropriate comments all the time when I’m talking to high school kids and they’ll all start laughing, and I have no idea why, and my co-presenter will look at me and be like, “yeah, you said something pretty inappropriate.” And yeah, I have to apologize, because I really don’t get it. And then I make stupid puns like that and I don’t hear them and everybody laughs and I have to go “uh yea, I don’t know what they’re laughing about…”

[00:14:32] Chris: So how does your how does your experience as a traveling circus performer help with relating to kids on a serious issue?

[00:14:43] Caller: Well, I think it’s mainly got to do with speaking with large groups and like relating to large groups. And I love kids. I think they’re way more interesting than adults. They’ve always got more exciting things to say, and less inhibitions. So that’s cool. So, yeah, I think I just get to hang out with awesome groups and then they’re really curious, they want to know about sex and relationships and lots of adults have a hard time talking to them about that stuff because it’s embarrassing or whatever, but it’s just another facet of life. So, yeah. And as soon as you start speaking to kids in a grounded, matter of fact, adult way about these things, they’re totally fine and cool. And yeah, you can help them a lot, which is awesome. But I guess the transferable skill is engaging them, because we do activities and stuff with younger kids like, I don’t know how the American school system works, but our primary school kids are like ten to twelve, and we do games like we’re throwing a ball around the room and talking about what good intimacy is and what bad intimacy is. And then we do this one really cool activity where we talk about being safe online and what happens to stuff once you put it online, and yea, that kind of stuff.

[00:16:12] Chris: That’s scary, you got to teach a 10 year old about revenge porn. That’s a scary thing.

[00:16:17] Caller: Yeah. We don’t really talk explicitly about porn and sex in primary schools because, obviously there’s some issues there, like a little bit of some saying we should be talking to them, some people think we shouldn’t. But yeah, we just we talk about intimacy and consent and hopefully they make their own links about what that means in an online sense and in their everyday lives. Like, I work for like a rape crisis center, so we have a sexual harm prevention approach. And yeah, I know way too much about child abuse. But it certainly informs the information that I give young people to keep them safe.

[00:17:03] Chris: Well, that’s a really beautiful thing. I would have to imagine this year it must be very, it must be a very interesting year for you in this job, because I feel like the whole conversation about consent has kind of come up for air in a way that it really never has before this year. And I would imagine, are you and your coworkers constantly kind of monitoring that stuff and seeing how it’s adjusting the conversations you have?

[00:17:33] Caller: Yeah, definitely. I mean, the place I work does a lot of stuff, not just the training department where I work. But it’s pretty bittersweet. Like, it’s actually pretty awesome that it’s so in the media at the moment because it’s opened the conversation and people know what you’re talking about. It’s like rather than coming in cold and being like, “okay, we’re gonna talk about sexual harassment,” all we have to do is reference “Me too” or “time’s up”. And people are onboard and they know the context already. So it’s, yeah, it’s provided a bit of a shortcut. And it has made it way more socially acceptable to discuss this stuff, which is awesome.

[00:18:15] Chris: Yeah. I mean what a strange thing for someone in your line of work to be like “Yeah, no it’s awesome”. I’m like, making jokes here.

[00:18:21] Caller: That’s what I mean, it’s kind of bittersweet like, I wish it wasn’t even a thing, but actually, it’s really good for what I’m doing.

[00:18:32] Chris: What a weird world we live in. What a weird world we live in, where it is, it’s like,well, these are all awful things. But Kevin Spacey made my life easier. Like there is, like, make the conversation easier. What a weird position to be in.

[00:18:51] Caller: So disappointed about Kevin Spacey, I love House of Cards.

[00:18:54] Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Everybody loved House of Cards. But at least we live in a world now where people are like “fuck House of Cards”, like at least we’ve turned that corner.

[00:19:09] Caller: It was kind of car crash watching as well.

[00:19:13] Chris: Ten years ago, people would have been like, “let’s let it go. I like House of Cards.” Now it’s the other way. Here’s some of the feedback that’s coming in via our hashtag tonight. Oh, Molly lets us know “the platypus can detect things through electro reception and has poison glands on its thighs.” I hate that, I hate that.

[00:19:32] Caller: That’s true, but it’s just the females, I don’y think the makes do. Or the other way around. I think one of them is cool. Yeah.

[00:19:50] Chris: Oh, Jamie wants to know what’s been your proudest moment so far in your new job?

[00:20:00] Caller: I don’t know if there’s one moment. It just feels really good to be contributing something this important. And then I guess, we do this thing where kids can ask questions anonymously after our sessions and there’s some really good questions that we can answer for them. And I think that’s probably the best part. Because they’ve got a safe place to ask an adult that will answer them honestly. I guess that, yea.

[00:20:28] Chris: That goes a long way. I mean, I remember just hearing just the bullet points you’ve already laid out about what you’re telling about kids. I remember my sex education in the late 80s and early 90s. Oh, my God. Right.

[00:20:40] Caller: Oh, my God. I know a little bit about sex education in the U.S. and it’s pretty grim.

[00:20:50] Chris: Well, I don’t think, I mean, we’re known as a puritanical lot, right? Like, we’re certainly not known to be as open as circus performers who tour Europe. You know, that that’s a notoriously open culture of performers. But it’s funny. I remember when I was a kid… I grew up in a very Catholic town. And I’m not kidding. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this on the podcast before. They told us you can get pregnant through blowjobs. They told us that. Because they didn’t want us going there. I’m telling you, I thought that for years.

[00:21:26] Caller: Yea, let’s just be clear for all the people there and podcast listeners, that’s not possible.

[00:21:33] Chris: Yes. Yes.

[00:21:35] Caller: But that’s the kind of that’s the kind of question that kids ask anonymously.

[00:21:38] Chris: I’m sure that comes up all the time. And it must be so nice for them to have somebody who’s not going to make them feel the withering shame I felt at wanting to ask a question in any of these classes.

[00:21:49] Caller: I was raised Catholic as well, but I didn’t actually get a sex education at all.

[00:21:55] Chris: Not at all?

[00:21:56] Caller: It’s pretty cool to be -no none. I mean, I don’t remember being taught anything, not even plumbing. Which is biology. But we call it plumbing. I don’t talk to kids about plumbing. That’s not my role.

[00:22:10] Chris: My dad to this day has never had a sex talk with me. I’m 37 years old. We’ve never talked about. We’ve never talked about it.

[00:22:21] Caller: I think that’s pretty common. A guy I worked with. Apparently his dad still can’t say vagina without laughing. Actually, I don’t think he can say it. He can’t say it. Like, lady parts, or something.

[00:22:35] Chris: My dad will probably hear this some day. So I hope he’s not embarrassed. But I will say that if I ever heard my father say the word ‘vagina’, we would both just giggle and then run in opposite directions. That would be the weirdest thing in the world for both of us.

[00:22:50] Caller: But that would be fine. That would be okay.

[00:22:53] Chris: It would be okay. Now, I have to ask, because connecting the dots of what you are telling us about your life, there is a transition period here that I have a feeling I need to ask about. Because going from being a traveling performer, which is, you know, not just a lifestyle, but like truly an off-the-grid lifestyle where you’re among your own. I mean, traveling performers are a specific type of people who stick together. It’s a very specific lifestyle. How does one go from that to working in sex education for kids?

[AD BREAK]

[00:25:52] Chris: How does one go from that to working in sex education for kids?

[00:25:59] Caller: Well, firstly, it totally right about traveling and having a second family. Yeah, my circus families super close and I consider them as close as my blood relatives. So that’s cool that you already have the right idea about what that life is like. And I kind of I slowly transitioned out of it. I did a few tours and then my body started to give up, like, I’m 32 and I had hip surgery already. So that was part of it. But also, I really wanted a dog. And my family is here. And I met someone and we wanted to start a life together, but, yeah, wanted to try living in Australia first, and it’s just super hard if you don’t have a show that you’re working on to be a freelance circus performer. So I wasn’t willing to put in the time and effort to keep gigging. And also like every time I gigged, my shoulder would hurt, or my ribs would hurt, or I’d pull a muscle, like it gets boring, having to look after your body as your tool for work. So, I mean, I still do it. I do gigs here and there, but it’s really nice not to be relying on it for a sole source of income. And I think another part of it was, doing a gig where there was kind of, like, no soul or heart in the show. I just did my act. I got paid really well and then I didn’t feel like I was reaching the audience or contributing to the world in any way by doing that show. And I think that was the turning point where I decided that I would rather not perform than perform shows that were a bit dead inside. I need to be making a difference in the world.

[00:28:03] Chris: That’s about one height of integrity, what you just said. That’s like more integrity than most people have. Like “oh I was pursuing artistry, but it wasn’t satisfying artistically. I felt the inauthenticity of it, so, decided to buckle down, do something to help the future generations of people, especially tackling a topic, everything now. Also wanted a dog.”

[00:28:26] Caller: And it’s 50 percent that and its 50 percent laziness.

[00:28:29] Chris: Noooo, I don’t buy that. That is not the answer of someone who made that choice due to 50 percent laziness. You’re the real deal. And I will let you get away with that self-deprecation, because there’s no way. Now, talk to me, because it’s so funny, cause you mentioned… You know, I’ve mentioned that my wife has been a part of that lifestyle. And you just, it’s funny. There is a shared culture amongst what you guys do, because I swear, you just said so many things that sound like things I’ve heard my wife and her friends say as far as…

[00:29:02] Caller: Well, it sounds like she’s got a great community there then.

[00:29:05] Chris: Yeah. But everything you said, like the idea that the people you perform this style performance with as close as your blood relatives, the idea that everybody’s body starts to break down young and you… really, you did a type of art,

and I’d love for you to talk about this. That’s a type of art that, you know going into it, that you are about to mess up your own body for the entertainment of others and for the sake of art. There’s no escaping it. Everyone who does this aerial world is ready to blow out joints, tear up ligaments. It happens. That’s the thing that everyone expects. Right?

[00:29:41] Caller: Well, I don’t know if I expected it. I think when I got into it, I thought I was invincible.

[00:29:48] Chris: OK, well, I was dead wrong on that one.

[00:29:52] Caller: [laughs] I mean, yeah, I think probably some people think that. But that’s not what you’re thinking about. Like, I got into it because I sucked at school. And by the way, I’m totally with you on the math thing. I don’t get it. It frustrates the hell out of me. And I just can’t even bother.

[00:30:07] Chris: Thank you so much. There is a slight smattering of applause, but mostly I felt a judge mental disapproval of my constant hatred of math.

[00:30:16] Caller: Nope, nope. I’m 100 percent with you on that. And I don’t care if it’s bias or if I’m jumping to conclusions. I have no interest in understanding math at all. None. Frustrating and hard.

[00:30:31] Chris: It is, yes. And I’ve always said this. If something is hard in life, don’t do it. If something’s hard, give up, walk away. Don’t do it. It will work out fine. And that attitude will serve you well long term.

[00:30:47] Caller: [laughs] That’s pretty similar to something I told my kids class last night. I think, I ended up saying don’t do anything you can’t do. Which in hindsight… yeah. But what I meant was like, I’d given them this activity to like build human pyramids, and what I meant was “don’t do anything that you’ve seen on YouTube that I haven’t taught you”. I’m going to write it on the wall, I think, “Don’t do anything you can do.”

[00:31:15] Chris: Right. Always good advice for kids in a sexual education environment. Don’t do anything you can’t do.

[00:31:22] Caller: No, sorry, that was in my other job! No, no, that wasn’t in this job. This is my other [intelligible].

[00:31:25] Chris: Makes more sense. Was wondering how a human pyramid factored into a sex ed class, was wondering it, didn’t want to be rude though.

[00:31:30] Caller: No, we don’t do that.

[00:31:33] Chris: So you also teach some movement type classes.

[00:31:39] Caller: Circus, I teach circus.

[00:31:41] Chris: You teach circus? You’re cool.

[00:31:44] Caller: Yeah, well, that’s what I did for my whole life.

[00:31:46] Chris: You know, one of the cool people, huh? You’re a Tasmanian circus performer who also educates kids. Yeah, you’re cool. There’s some questions coming in for you. Is it OK if I give them? Because I like a bunch of them.

[00:31:56] Caller: Please, please.

[00:31:58] Chris: Someone wants to know what’s the strangest belief or idea a kid has had about how sex works that you’ve had to field?

[00:32:09] Caller: I don’t know if this was a joke question or not, but one kid wanted to know that if  you cut open a pregnant woman’s breast if blood or milk came out. To which I just had to keep a straight face and be like “both.”

[00:32:30] Chris: A good question-

[00:32:32]  Caller: But because they write the questions down, I don’t know if they’re being serious or not. So we can choose not to answer questions, but then I’m like, you know what, if that has been plaguing this kid for five years and I can help him out? So, yeah.

[00:32:45] Chris: Absolutely. I do love… You just brought me back to actual sense memory of the write your random question down and how often amongst me and my dickhead friends, that became a contest of who could get them to say the gnarliest thing out loud. That is a real tradition.

[00:33:03] Caller: Yeah, maybe it could have been.

[00:33:07] Chris: Someone else asks, I like this one. Do kids still act like Beavis and Butthead like we all did when we were 10, or are kids more woke now. Like are they generally just more woke as little kids?

[00:33:21] Caller: I don’t really understand what ‘woke’ means, but…

[00:33:25] Chris: Ok, so, let me see. I’ll explain it. ‘Woke’ is a term that’s popular in America right now, specifically in the burrow that we’re in Brooklyn. It’s the idea of just sort of, I think, being sort of like morally enlightened.  It’s already kind of become a thing that people maybe roll their eyes at, but that is sort of an important thing. It also has some cultural stuff to it. But yeah, are kids a little more enlightened about sex now?

[00:33:49] Caller: I have to say this before I forget, you know, the ad that you have on this show about Brooklinen?

[00:33:56] Chris: Yes, Brooklinen.

[00:33:58] Caller: I only just realized like last week that it’s a play on ‘Brooklyn’.

[00:34:08] Chris: I just realized it right now when you said it. I had no idea You just blew my mind.

[00:34:17] Caller: I was in my kitchen, I was like “ohhhhhhhhh, ah that’s clever.”

[00:34:24] Chris: Here’s something–

[00:34:24] Caller: Anyway, I didn’t answer the question!

[00:34:28] Chris: Oh, yes, I forgot. I just got so embarrassed and wanted to move on.

[00:34:35] Caller: Kids. Yeah, they’re a little bit giggly to start with, but because we talk explicitly, like, um, we say what’s necessary? We don’t really fudge around terms like, I’ll say “sex, porn, penis, vulva”, I’ll say things. And like, they come in and they know what the session’s about and they’re all giggling and stuff. But then as soon as you start talking in real terms, they’re actually… Firstly, I think they’re a bit shocked, and then they’re just so genuinely interested and craving that information, that they’re super mature. Like most groups are no problem at all. I’ve only had a couple of high school groups where the focus just really wasn’t there. And we, because we have a ‘do no harm’ approach, sessions are optional, like the kids can leave if they’re feeling triggered or upset about anything or uncomfortable. And yeah, loads of them left. And I think we had like four kids in the class at the end, they just weren’t really into it. So we were like, “and that’s the moral of the story. Don’t rape each other. K, thanks, bye.”

[00:35:45] Chris: Wow. You can really stick the landing there at the end of these seminars. Someone told me it’s someone tweeted a thing that was really interesting to me. She said “when I was in sex ed class, they used to make us all yell vagina and penis as loud as we could until it wasn’t funny anymore”. It’s a pretty good technique right there. You can use that one in Tasmania? Yeah, you can steal that one.

[00:36:08] Caller: You could steal it or I could try that. Sure, I could try that. I think the teachers might be a little, I don’t know, they’ll wonder what’s going on.

[00:36:15] Chris: Now I’m going to tell you something. We’re halfway through the call. We got 30 minutes left. And when I’m looking at the questions, these people are sending me, there are no less than 30 tweets saying, “tell us about your dog.”

[crowd cheers]

[00:36:31] Caller: Yesss! Thank you!

[00:36:34] Chris: People want to know your dog’s name. The breed, favorite activities. How’d you pick the dog? There’s a murmur. The crowd is abuzz. Waiting for info on this sweet-ass dog.

[00:36:45] Caller: Oh, my gosh. Well, you will not be disappointed, I tell you. [Crowd cheers] I don’t really want to say her name because, I feel, she has her own Instagram account. So and people would know who I am and then it could get weird and people might stalk me. And like, I don’t know, I’m scared of the internet.

[00:37:09] Chris: Yeah, we don’t need that, don’t worry.

[00:37:12] Caller: Okay. So like five years, my partner and I wanted a dog and it was five years before we were in a place to think about getting a dog. So, we were looking at rescues and we fostered about five dogs before we decided that we were going to keep one. And then we tried out one first rescue dog and it didn’t work out. It was really sad. And I cried a bunch. But anyway, moving on. So then this litter of puppies came up on Gumtree and we’d done a load of breed research. And these dogs were livestock guardian breed crossed with a Labrador. So we were like, sweet. It’s gonna be smart like a worker, but food motivated and really easy to train as well and super cute. So we got this seven week old puppy and we took her to school the next day and we took her to puppy school every single week until, yeah, a year and a half old. And so she’s super well trained. She’s got loads of tricks. And her name is actually from a 90’s sci fi movie and most of her verbal commands are quotes from the movie. So that’s pretty cute.

[00:38:33] Chris: People are flipping out that we don’t know this name. I bet everybody’s going to start guessing about this hashtag.

[00:38:43] Caller: Yeah. I don’t even know if I should give a clue. Could be fun – No. OK. So she’s she’s quite big. She’s like 40 kilos. She looks like a Labrador, but she’s got the personality of a guardian breed. So she’s an awesome guard dog. I tell people that she’s a cat in a dog coat because she’s not very cuddly. And she’s super intelligent. Like, she tells us what she wants and where it is. And yes, she’s amazing. She is our fur baby, and life. Dogs are life.

[00:39:19] Chris: I will tell you, I’ve done, I mean, well over a dozen live shows now, probably closer to 20. I’ve never heard a crowd start whispering among themselves with opinions like they have over what you’re saying about your dog. I’ve never heard a murmur like this happen as people are turning to each other and being like, “oh, yeah, sounds like a good laborador mix, yeah yeah’. People love a dog. I also love that dozens of people here tonight said, “tell us about your dog.” And not one of you said “tell us about your fiancee”. Not one of you cared about the human in her life.

[00:39:55] Caller: Ah no, it’s cool, we hear about people all the time. My dog is amazing. She’s legendary. But I’d have to say, if you’re gonna get a livestock guardian breed, they’re not amazing pets. If you live, you know you need a rural residence. She is not a people dog, at all. So we actually put a little jacket on her when we go out, because she really hates people petting her, which is so weird. People freak out when they realize that she doesn’t like being petted.

[00:40:27] Chris: That’s a bummer—

[00:40:28] Caller: Unusual, Yea, kinda. I didn’t realize you couldn’t have non-cuddly dogs. But you can. And I do.

[00:40:39] Chris: Now you say your dog has Instagram, does the Instagram have a decent following? Because you said people would find out who you were right away. You got one of these Instagram famous dogs?

[00:40:47] Caller: Not really. No. I’m in Tasmania. I think she has like, about 200 followers.

[00:40:55] Chris: Wow. That’s not bad. That’s not bad. That’s respectable. Oh, here’s a great question. Americans love an Australian accent, which is true. Is there an accent Australians love, or do they just rest on the laurels of having a great accent?

[00:41:14] Caller: [laughs] No, not at all. I don’t like the Australian accent. I think it’s quite grating. I don’t know. As a culture, if we have—

[00:41:23] Chris: We think it’s the best. Australians don’t like their accent? Because we think it’s the best.

[00:41:31] Caller: Well, no, no. I speak for myself. I don’t speak for Australians. Easy.

[00:41:35] Chris: No, you speak for all of Tasmania! You represent all of Tasmania right now! We love it. I think we think it’s like super cool, sounds laidback and has, like, all the charm of the British without our inherent feeling that we’re being judged. [crowd cheers]

[00:41:55] Caller: Well, I’m glad that you’re enjoying my accent. I don’t think mine is very strong. That’s on purpose, actually.

[00:42:04]  Chris: Nah, it’s not that strong. [crowd laughs]

[00:42:07] Caller: Are you making a face? Is that’s what happening right now?

[00:42:10] Chris: Right now people are guessing. People are guessing. Maybe it’s Leelu, or Ripley. Maybe it’s from your dog’s name is from Fifth Element. A lot of Fifth Element guesses. Gattaca. Nobody said Matrix, I’m thinking Matrix. “Neo, take the red pill” means roll over. Just for any other American in the crowd. I love the people who listen to this podcast, you beautiful, wonderful, supportive nerds. Someone actually already converted the kilo’s to pounds to let the Americans know. Are we talking about an 88 pound dog?!

[00:42:45] Caller: If that’s what 40 kilos is. I don’t do numbers, you know, Chris, come on.

[00:42:48] Chris: It is true. There’s also one math teacher in the crowd who’s very mad at you and I. Forty kilos, that’s 88 pounds! That’s a big dog!

[00:43:02] Caller: Yeah, she’s big. We need a king sized bed. We need upgrade. She doesn’t fit.

[00:43:06] Chris: Also, there are two Aussies in the audience who want to let the crowd know that GumTree is their version of Craigslist, just for everyone who’s asking. And thank you, Kmac, for filling us in. And, you’re welcome for the tase of home.

[00:43:22] Caller: I have to say on the accent thing, that I think all Americans sound really cool, because you all sound like you’re in a movie, and something awesome is about to happen.

[00:43:30] Chris: Oooooh we all sound like we’re in a movie. That’s great. I don’t know what this means. Someone wants to know “what’s your favorite flavor Tim Tam?”

[00:43:37] Caller: Double coat all the way. Nothing but.

[00:43:41] Chris: I don’t know what Tim Tam is. Is it a drink?

[00:43:45] Caller: No, it’s a biscuit. A cookie, sorry.

[00:43:49] Chris: Oh, that’s okay. It’s OK.

[00:43:53] Caller: Yeah. It’s like a, it’s like a penguin in the UK, I don’t know what the American equivalent would be, but it’s like two chocolate biscuits with chocolate cream in the middle and they do chocolate on the outside, but you shouldn’t bother with the normal ones because double coat have a much better chocolate to biscuit ratio.

[00:44:11] Chris: All right. Everybody’s just got some Tim Tam knowledge dropped on their heads. A lot of questions coming in about how you joined the circus. How does one join the circus? Also, a lot of people wondering, did you meet your fiancee in the circus?

[00:44:26] Caller: Okay. Shall I start with part one there?

[00:44:29] Chris: That’s up to you, my Tasmanian friend.

[00:44:34] Caller: I love that you call me friend. Had a feeling we would get on, you know? I think we’re getting on. Are we getting on? Are we friends?

[00:44:39] Chris: I would say we’re getting on!

[00:44:43] Caller: Ok, that’s a good start. Yeah. Like I said at the start, I was scared If I knew too much about you, it would be this weird stalker relationship. But I don’t, I haven’t really seen I haven’t seen the Chris Gethard Show, or anything really.

[00:44:56] Chris: That’s fair. I get it all…

[00:45:00] Caller: Well, I don’t have a TV. It’s not my fault. And also, we don’t get American TV. So anyway. Alright, sorry, question.

[someone from crowd yells]

[00:45:10] Chris: Well, you’re being heckled by someone defending me. It’s OK. Everything’s OK. Everything’s OK.

[00:45:17] Caller: No, I’m going to totally get into it now that I’ve spoken to you, but I just didn’t want to actually finally manage to get on the podcast and be starstruck. Because then I would be like, “I don’t know, Chris, whatever you want to talk about.”

[00:45:31] Chris: No, I love how this is going. I think you’re nailing it. It’s all good. So, yeah. Let’s start with part one. How does one join the circus?

[00:45:45] [AD BREAK]

[00:47:00] Chris: Let’s start with part one. How does one join the circus?

[00:47:06] Caller: My mum, she said, she noticed that I wasn’t very good at school and that I really liked doing gymnastics, and she was like, you should go to the circus school, and I did. And I didn’t have a plan B for a career, so I just took any job that I could for about twelve months, paid, unpaid, whatever. And then I got a really good gig. And that’s the end of it.

[00:47:28] Chris: Now, wait, let me jump in, because, it’s very funny. And I there’s something I know that I bet other people in the room know, but many Americans don’t. People started laughing because in America, there is a phrase like, “you run off and join the circus.” And that’s kind of like you went nuts and went off the grid. But you specifically said your mom encouraged you to go to Cirque school.

I will tell you… I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival two summers ago, and it was so rad, I didn’t realize that circus, and clowning are in the rest of the western world, those are huge pieces of entertainment that I don’t think are as big in the states and going to Cirque School is actually, there are many very, very high end, competitive schools. And that’s like as legit as—

[00:48:15] Caller: Actually I think it’s too competitive now. And I think, like having a qualification from a circus school is not really enough to get a job anymore because so many people have it. And it doesn’t really mean that you’re either highly skilled or easy to work with. And being easy to work with is way more important in circus, if you’re touring, for sure. But I love Edinburgh.! And you know, I think maybe we might have been at the same festival at some point.

[00:48:40] Chris: I might have seen your show then. Because my wife was there with me and she took me to all the aerial shows. I might have seen you.

[00:48:48] Caller: Quite possibly.

[00:48:500] Chris: Were you in that one that was in the church with all the poles bending over?

[00:48:55] Caller: Well, look, I can’t say, can I? Because then people will stalk me on mine.

[00:49:00] Chris: Oh, I want to know so bad. What a small goddamn world that there’s a decent percent chance that I saw your show.

[00:49:07] Caller: I was in the show that you really, really loved and thought it was the most amazing thing that you’ve ever seen in your life.

[00:49:13] Chris: Wow. Congratulations. That show is great.

[00:49:18] Caller: I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m sorry that I missed you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you existed at that point.

[00:49:23] Chris: No, that’s okay. So wait. So you went to school for it? You did. Can I ask. And if you’re not comfortable, if you think it’s too much… I know one of the big ones. Is it Lecoq?

[00:49:32] Caller: Lecoq, yea. No, I didn’t go to Lecoq. See there I go with the innuendo again? You could have taken it there.

[00:49:40] Chris: No, wait. Lecoq is like that. That’s one of the big dog circus schools, right?

[00:49:44] Caller: It’s clowning, actually.

[00:49:45] Chris: Oh, it’s more clowning. Right. I have noticed that many people I talk to from that world who have been there, tend to drop it in the same way that you might drop Harvard or Yale. They seem really into the fact that they went there. Yeah. Why we get out is pretty huge message from me to you.

[00:50:00] Caller: Yeah, Lecoq is pretty huge.

[00:50:02] Chris: Hey, message from me to you, Lecoq graduates, via my podcast, get off the high horse. Taking down the Lecoq Clowning school.

[00:50:12] Caller: It’s hardcore though. Everybody cries when they go there.

[00:50:15] Chris: Those people work their asses off. And kudos to all of them for putting in the work. I was just kidding. So what’s it like? What’s it like going from… Because I would imagine like you’re very into gymnastics. Your mom, sees this, wants to send you this world. All of a sudden you go from being the kid who’s bad at school, but is good at this outlier thing to an environment where everybody else is also good at the outlier things. That must be a huge culture shock as a kid.

[00:50:42] Caller: Not really. I think because gymnastics was my life before I went to circus school and I wasn’t very good at it, actually. But thankfully, when I got on the trapeze, it all made sense because my flaws in gymnastics, were positive things for aerial. And it was kind of the same environment, like the circus school was very much a sport training facility kind of thing. So, yeah, I don’t know. I think… I don’t think I did great during school. I had a really bad attitude to training and I think I held myself back a lot just with a shitty attitude. But when I started getting out into the world and having to work for it, and while you would know as an artist, you have to plug yourself and big yourself up a little bit, but then you do that for so long and then you get some jobs and you start to believe that you are actually good at what you do. And then somewhere along the line, my attitude changed and now I have excellent self-esteem.

[00:51:51] Chris: [laughs] Well, that’s always a good term to say. That’s always a good turn to take. So you went to school for it? Grinded it out. Just like everybody, found your gigs. Sounds like you did the traditional “go to Edinburgh, put on shows trying to find producers, see how it goes,” right? That’s what that’s that’s what that’s for, right?

[00:52:08] Caller: Kind of. Not really. I went to Edinburgh with a show. I already had a gig.

[00:52:13] Chris: I’m wrong about everything tonight. I’m striking out. I’m just taking some big swings and wiffs. That’s OK.

[00:52:23] Caller: Nah. Like I said, I got lucky really early on in my contract. Like I left Australia…I think it was important to get out of Australia because like I said, the market is a little bit saturated with circus school graduates. So I took a job in India and then worked in a Chad(?) circus there, like a big top, elephants kind of deal. And then after that, I got a contract around Europe and then that was it. I stayed with that company for like eight years.

[00:52:50] Chris: Wow. And traveling. And you you said you were in a big top. That’s like, pack up the tent at night, get in the caravan. We’re all heading to the next spot, like real deal circus life.

[00:53:02] Caller: Yeah. Just what you imagine from the storybooks. It was the best.

[00:53:08] Chris: Yeah. So you guys roll into town, and you’re like, living on the edge of town, putting on shows like the old times.

[00:53:17] Caller: Yeah.

[00:53:19] Chris: That’s cool. That’s very cool.

[00:53:22] Caller: Yes, I miss it sometimes. I miss my friends. That’s what I miss.

[00:53:27] Chris: I’m remembering now. And you don’t have to say if it was you. I saw an Australian company at Edinburgh.

[00:53:36] Caller: Nope.

[00:53:39] Chris: Do you know the one I mean, though?

[00:53:42] Caller: Maybe. I haven’t worked for an Australian company.

[00:53:43] Chris: It was called Simple Stage, or something like? It was called Simple Stage. And they had this motherfucker that could just, his whole act was he could just jump farther than anybody you ever saw. And it was the most impressive thing in the world. He would just jump a little bit and you would be “I could jump that far” and then he’d jump a little bit farther, and you’d be like “yeah, but he’s trained for this, that’s not that far”.  And then he’d jump again, and you’d be like “this is starting to feel a little freaky, man”. And then he’d jump again and you’d be like, “this man is going to die in front of me. This doesn’t make sense.” And then he jumped again and you’d be like, “I feel like I’m on drugs. What the fuck is happening? How is he jumping that far?”

[00:54:18] Caller: That’s what I love about circus, it can do that. I’ll tell you, my favorite YouTube video…

[00:54:23] Chris: Uh-Huh. And then I’ll tell you mine.

[00:54:27] Caller: Ok, that would be awesome. I’m always after good ones. So this one, it’s pretty grainy, like the video is not great, but there is a goat with all four hooves in a tea cup, which is on a tight rope, and on top of the goat’s head is a monkey doing a handstand. It’s the best.

[00:54:48] Chris: That sounds incredible. People in the crowd are yelling, yes, they have seen it. Some of them have seen it. I tell you my favorite YouTube video—

[00:54:56] Caller: It’s so good! I love that someone thought to do that. They were like “yea this goat on a tight wire thing is great, but I’ve got a great idea: bring me that monkey.”

[00:55:06] Chris: [Laughs] Oh, there are… these fucking people tonight already have it. Someone’s already handing me their phone so I can watch it. Oh my god.

[00:55:16] Caller: It’s pretty long winded. Yeah. You might want to skip to the end because it goes on a bit.

[00:55:20] Chris: I’m telling you, too, that’s a sizeable goat.

[00:55:21] Caller: That’s what I love about the circus. You’re going to see stuff that you will never see ever again in real life.

[00:55:28] Chris: [watching video] This is not a small goat. This is an impressive act. And just for anybody who might be listening. If you’re looking for the name of it, it’s easy to remember “a monkey on a goat on a cup on a tight rope”. That’s the name of the video in question. [Chris gets excited] Oh, it’s going up in the cup! It’s going up on the cup! We got two legs on the cup! And the monkey’s on the goat! And the goat has those big horns. That’s not some bullshit petting zoo goat right there. They got that goat from like the top of a mountain. I mean, what is this podcast? You’re now listening to a man watching a YouTube video on a stranger’s phone. [Chris gets SUPER excited] It’s got all four things on the cup! All four legs on the cup! They’re zooming in. How is this real?! The monkey’s on its head!!! So my favorite YouTube is called “Drunk Eworks on the Today Show”. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a Halloween themed-bit with Al Roker, they hired two little people actors to play Ewoks. I’ve always in my mind filled in the blanks that the actors got together and they’re like, “I can’t believe they’re making us play Ewoks again. Fuck this shit. Let’s do some shots.” They’re visibly drunk. They ruin the whole thing on purpose. It’s on live television. It’s a huge inspiration for the Chris Gethard show to make something that good happen in the world. One of them does the worm on the ground. The breakdancing move, then stands up, spins around, runs over and humps Al Roker’s leg. It’s the greatest piece of comedy that’s ever happened in human history. You can look that one up. If you wanna watch it now, I’ll listen to you watch my video as well.

[00:57:22] Caller: I would love to do that. I’m just so scared to do anything on my phone right now in case I hang up on.

[00:57:28] Chris: I understand that, but do make sure you watch it. It’s a true delight. We have ten minutes left. I don’t want to miss, since the question’s been asked. Did you meet your fiance in the circus?

[00:57:38] Caller: Yes.

[00:57:40] Chris: You did. Wow. Two circus performers—

[00:57:43] Caller: We actually, we we toured, well he’s not a circus performer. No, no. He’s a composer.

[00:57:54] Chris: Oh, a composer. Look at that.

[00:57:57] Caller: He was MD at that point. But yea. So, yeah, we were, we toured together for three years before we actually hooked up. And he only made a move because I was flying back to Australia in four days time. So it was, like, not very risky for him. And so, yeah, we had four days as a couple after three years of friendship. And then I got on a plane to Australia with no intention of coming back. And we just kept in touch. And then a month after I’d been there, he was sort of like, “soooo I could book a flight and come to you.” And I was like, “yea could be nice”. And then he came out and the rest is sort of history. Then the circus invited both of us back the next year. And because we both had a job, that was pretty good plan to stay working there together.

[00:58:53] Chris: That’s really… I tell you… I think that’s really cute because, reading between the lines, it sounds like this guy had a crush on you for a real long time.

And then with four days left, he’s like, “I’ve gotta make the fucking move”. Like, “I gotta get up the guts and make the move. She’s leaving. I can’t.”  Did he have any like drunken heart to hearts with friends that were like, “I don’t want her to go?” And they’re like, “you got to go for it, man.”

[00:59:20] Caller: I think he had one of those, with one of his friends.Yeah, but I think because he he said to me, like in the first year when we were touring together, I had another boyfriend and he didn’t like me at that point because he couldn’t understand how I was so like, girly and we had been infatuated and stuff. So. Yeah. And then he wasn’t on the tour for the second year, but we sort of kept in touch. And then on the third year we were touring together and I think it was the second half of the third tour that he was like, “OK, I got to sort out my feelings,” and I was just freaking out, like I had so much relationship baggage by that point, that, I was just really enjoying his friendship. And I knew that I felt pretty strongly about him, but I didn’t want to jeopardize our amazing friendship. So. Yeah, it kind of happened organically a little bit, but, yeah, I’m pretty lucky. Like I knew him really well before we actually hooked up and.

[01:00:24] Chris: That’s always nice. Was your trapeze act set to music he composed?

[01:00:33] Caller: On one of our shows, it was. But he played it. And then we did another show in Finland together, and he composed the song that I used for that. And that was really beautiful.

[01:00:47] Chris: And were you guys… Has there ever been a point when you’ve already been, since you’ve been together that you’ve performed to his music?

[01:00:57] Caller: No. Actually, recently, yeah. I did this stupid spoof of X Factor. And he wrote the theme tune for that, but it wasn’t like any deep, meaningful “I love you” kinda stuff. It was a cheesy TV theme tune—

[01:01:13] Chris: But that’s still nice. I get to do that. Chris Gethard show. My wife is the bandleader, and I get to hear—

[01:01:19] Caller: You would understand this totally.

[01:01:21] Chris: I know! That’s why I’m asking, because it’s like the coolest thing in the world. I like hear the theme song and it’s like, not only is this the theme song to my show, but the person I love the most in the world wrote it. Like it’s such a secret source of strength, you know?

[01:01:36] Caller: Yeah, yeah, it’s wicked. He’s written one song for me and one song about me and both of them, I’m the only person that knows.

[01:01:47] Chris: You said, he wrote one song with you and one song about you?

[01:01:50] Caller: One song for me, and one song about me.

[01:01:54] Chris: That’s awesome. My wife was in a band that I was a fan of for many years before I’d ever met her.

[01:02:00] Caller: Oh my gosh, that’s so cool. You have hero worship, then?

[01:02:06] Chris: I haven’t mentioned it because I don’t want to make her feel weird. She’s here today and she’s almost definitely blushing that I’m just standing on a stage gushing this much. But yeah, I was like a genuine, huge fan of her band. And then we got together and she put out a new album where most of the songs were about me and I still can’t get over.

[01:02:22] Caller: Oh my gosh. And then you have to reconcile the fact that you’re never going to get over it with the fact that other people were like, “oh yeah, that was a cool song five years ago.”

[01:02:40] Chris: [Laughs] Yes. There’s a song by the band The Unloveables called “Verrazano” and it’s about how we got engaged on the Verrazano Bridge. How about that?

[01:02:50] Caller: Oh, I have to look that up, too.

[01:02:52] Chris: But like, my wife plays music and has to look over at me on the Gethard Show, and it’s like me getting dunked in ice water. Your fiance gets to write this beautiful music and then watch you convert it into like beautiful physical movement happening in the sky. That’s a probably a better deal for him than she has with me. That’s good sometimes.

[01:03:13] Caller: Sometimes, but he knows behind the scenes… they put a microphone on me once. It was the worst idea ever. I was like, “ugh, oh my god, whoops!” all over the place.

[01:03:25] Chris: So when we watch aerialists, they are high, and it just looks to us like this fluid, daring, beautiful movement, and you’re just up there like “fuck, motherfucker, fuck, sonofabitch”.

[01:03:37] Caller: Yeah, but we do all of it with a smile on our face.

[01:03:41] Chris: That’s the number one thing they teach you in circus school. Look at that. That’s really cool. When are you get married?

[01:03:51] Caller: When we win the lottery. Probably never. When we win the lottery. Well, it’s money, like it costs money. He’s from the other side of the world. So we have to do two and like. Ugh, yeah. We don’t have any savings because we have to keep flying between countries every second year. Like you just start to get ahead and then you go and see the other family and it’s back to financial square zero. Which is how we choose our life so it’s not something to complain about.

[01:04:22] Chris: Yeah, that’s a bummer. And I would bet it gets kind of political, right? Like, however big you go on the wedding on one side of the world, you kind of have to match that on the other. People are going to see pictures.

[01:04:33] Caller: When we got engaged, we spoke for ages about how to do it and we like sorted out this plan where we would… We were going to announce them at the same time and we were gonna do them close together. So if people wanted to travel between they could, and then one of them was going to be bigger, but the other one was going to be smaller. But with the actual legalities and then. Yeah. Oh my God, it was a big nightmare. So it’s all on the back burner, I guess, until money comes into our lives.

[01:05:03] Chris: This is gonna sound like facetious question, but I mean it seriously. Have you thought about doing it in a neutral location? So it’s a pain in the ass for everybody?

[01:05:13] Caller: Yeah, actually, yeah We did think about, like, Thailand or Bali or something like that. But there are certain members of both families that can’t travel due to health reasons.

[01:05:26] Chris: Yeah, that’s a bummer. Yeah. And that’s rough. Sorry about that.

[01:05:33] Caller: Yeah. Well he doesn’t really believe in marriage anyway. I want to get married because I want to party basically. So I had to convince him that it was worthwhile. He has a full A4 sheet of paper of reasons why we’re going to get married. But mostly I convinced him because it’s the next of kin thing, like legally if something happens to one or the other of us. The marriage certificate helps.

[01:05:58] Chris: Yeah, yeah. Hey, we’ve got two minutes left and my guy does.

[01:06:04] Caller: Oh my golly gosh.

[01:06:05] Chris: So anything, anything you feel like we haven’t put on the record yet? Now’s the time.

[01:06:11] Caller: I don’t know, there’s so much. I wanted to ask you loads questions as well. I found a little bit more about the Chris Gethard Show today, about being dunked in water, that sounds interesting. Going to look that up.

[01:06:22] Chris: That was actually through my wife’s friends who were aerialists. We brought in all the people who used to do the rigging on her shows and they rigged me up to the ceiling. It all ties in. It all ties in.

[01:06:32]  Caller: At least you know you were safe then.

[01:06:34] Chris: Yeah. I was extremely safe, although totally out of my element, and scared the whole time.

[01:06:41] Caller: Yeah, lots of us are too.

[01:06:45] Chris: Well, what can you do? What can you do? People are saying, have you thought about eloping? Have you guys thought about just running off and doing it? Or is that not your thing?

[01:06:56] Caller: Yeah. I wanted to go to Vegas and do the whole Elvis thing with another set of friends of ours. But then we both actually want all our friends around, because, we do care about what they think. An excuse for a party! I want to get them all together.

[01:07:13] Chris: Well, I’ll tell ya, on my end, I’m a registered reverend and I’ve been looking for an excuse to go to Australia.

[01:07:19] Caller: Please come to Australia, that would be the best!

[01:07:26] Chris: Say the word. I want to get into the Melbourne Comedy Festival so I can get out there. Maybe I’ll swing by and perform the holy rites of matrimony on my way.

[01:07:35] Caller: That would be excellent. I would have to tell my partner who you are. He probably wouldn’t care. To be honest. Yeah, that sounds great. Well, I have to keep it on the low down if we do it soon, though. Because the other side of the world can’t know about it because then they’ll get jealous that we didn’t do it there first and blah blah blah.

[01:07:53] Chris: Understood. We have 20 seconds left. I’m glad that this ends with me feeling vaguely bad about my career.

[01:08:03] Caller: No! You’re awesome. And I have to say thank you. In the last little bit. Thanks for filling up my washing up in the morning with entertainment. And, yea, I love your style and I’m super happy I got to meet you, kind of, talking on the phone. It’s been wicked. You’re a legend. [ring]

[01:08:26] Chris: Caller, thanks for calling, from the other side of planet Earth. Letting me know about your life of adventure, and your new life. Responsibility. What a cool thing. What a cool life you’ve lived. And I hope you continue to live for many years. And thank you for connecting with me from the other side of the planet, reminding me that maybe, maybe people everywhere have more in common than they do differences. Thank you to the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York for hosting us all those weeks, letting us do it. Thanks to everybody who came out to that show. Such a warm, friendly crowd. Thanks to Jared O’Connell. Harry Nelson, thanks to Justin Linville, who was there those nights helping to hold it down. Thanks, John Delore, Greta Cohn, Shellshag. I’m getting out on the road again, starting in a couple of months. Talking Minneapolis, St Lewis, Bloomington, Indiana, Chicago, Illinois. Got dates. Go to Chrisgeth.com. They’re all there. I’d love to meet you. Go to Apple podcast, rate review subscribe. Really helps the show when you do. See you next time on Beautiful Anonymous.

[AD BREAK]

[01:10:18] Chris: Next time on Beautiful Anonymous, a very pleasant chat that drops a few bombs.

[01:10:26] Chris: So you had been doing theater and doing modeling, moved to new city. Traumatic relationship. Meet this new guy who seems like a pretty good dude. But before you even are locked in and knowing that for sure… Boom. Life change.

[01:10:42] Caller: Yeah, definitely. And I tell these ladies out there, I was on birth control and I got pregnant. So you got to be careful. Put that reminder in your phone, because like I said I was kind of like a free bird, and I was like kind of like, whatever. I had been on birth control for like years, and I was like, “I’m never gonna get pregnant.”

[01:11:03] Chris: That’s next time on Beautiful Anonymous.