EP. 182 — Nicole Loves Sasheer’s Party Guest List Because She Is #1

BF-182-20221112-JDv02-DYN.mp3

 

Nicole [00:00:11] What do you have to do at 205? 

 

Sasheer [00:00:13] I have a show in Athens, Georgia, that’s like an hour and a half drive from Atlanta. And traffic is horrible here. 

 

Nicole [00:00:22] So you want to be safe. I see. 

 

Sasheer [00:00:24] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:00:24] When you said “Athens,” I immediately went “Greece?” Then I was like, “Don’t say it, don’t say it.” And you very quickly said, “Georgia.” ‘Cause I knew it was Georgia, but I just needed to say “Greece.” 

 

Sasheer [00:00:36] “I have to get on a boat to Greece!” 

 

Nicole [00:00:38] “Oh, no!” Real quick, Sasheer. I’m having a midlife crisis. We’ll talk about it later. 

 

Sasheer [00:00:43] Oh. And you’re… You seem excited about it. 

 

Nicole [00:00:51] Talked about it in therapy, and she was like, “Nicole? What?” 

 

Sasheer [00:00:55] Are you buying a boat? 

 

Nicole [00:00:55] What?

 

Sasheer [00:00:57] Are you buying a boat? 

 

Nicole [00:00:59] No. 

 

Sasheer [00:01:00] Okay. 

 

Nicole [00:01:01] But maybe. I did tell her I wanted to buy some, like, big, heavy fucking items. And she was like, “Why? Let’s just walk back.” And I was like, “Okay.” 

 

Sasheer [00:01:11] I’ve been telling you to buy a boat for years, so… 

 

Nicole [00:01:13] I know. Honestly, I think next year I might see if there’s, like, a boat share thing I can do because I don’t think I need the financial responsibility of having just a boat because I have to clean it and stuff. Well, I guess we should start this episode. Sasheer!

 

Sasheer [00:01:31] Nicole! 

 

Nicole [00:01:33] Ra-ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. How are you today? 

 

Sasheer [00:01:36] What a wholesome next part of that song. ‘Cause isn’t it, like: “Ra-ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Sex me so good I say ‘blah-blah-blah.’” 

 

Nicole [00:01:40] “Work it! I need a glass of water. Boy, oh boy, it’s good to know ya. Is it work it?” No. “Is it worth it? Let me work it. I’ll put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it. Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i.” 

 

Sasheer [00:02:00] Did you ever find out what that meant? 

 

Nicole [00:02:04] I believe it’s “I put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it” reversed. 

 

Sasheer [00:02:07] Oh, that’s great. 

 

Nicole [00:02:10] I got to say, Missy Elliott is an innovator, one of a kind, and I love her so. I would like to meet her only to say those things to her and then just be like, “I know you’ve heard it from other people, but, like, whatever.”

 

Sasheer [00:02:24] But I’m sure people love receiving their flowers. 

 

Nicole [00:02:30] I think so. And I always do it in a way that makes me memorable. I always think, like, when I compliment someone, they go home, and when they lay their head down, they’re like, “Boy, that girl was weird. She said nice things in the strangest way possible.” 

 

Sasheer [00:02:43] Can you give an example? 

 

Nicole [00:02:47] When I met–Oh my God–she’s on hacks and she is… Jean Smart. When I met Jean Smart, it was at the premiere party for the second season. I asked Carl, who’s on the show, who plays her assistant. He’s the tall assistant. I was like, “Carl, can you please introduce me to her?” And he was like, “Sure.” So, then I walked up to her, and I said, “Hello, Jean Smart. How are you?” She was like, “Good.” And I was like, “A quick question. Do you ever, like, put your head down on your pillow and go, ‘Wow, I’m having a beautiful renaissance in my career that’s fully deserved because I’m so talented?’” And she was like, “No. No, I’m never thinking about the renaissance of my career.” And then she laughed really hard. And she was like, “You are adorable.” And I was like, “I know. For an adult, being this adorable is a burden.” And then she laughed again. And I was like, “We’re friends!” 

 

Sasheer [00:03:47] Aww. That’s great. 

 

Nicole [00:03:48] And then I think we cheersed, and then I was like, “I’ll leave you be.” And she was like, “Okay.” But yeah, you know, you just got to be authentically yourself at all times. 

 

Sasheer [00:04:00] And you are, girl. You are. 

 

Nicole [00:04:03] Sometimes it’s exhausting, Sasheer. Just being so cute and weird all the time. “She’s so quirky!” “She’s too quirky!” But sometimes people on the internet will be like, “I love Nicole Byer and how weird she is.” And I feel like we could use a different– “Weird” sounds like an attack. 

 

Sasheer [00:04:28] “She’s just a freak.” 

 

Nicole [00:04:30] “She’s a fucking weirdo freak,” which is not exactly what I’m trying to serve, you know? 

 

Sasheer [00:04:37] I think they mean weird in a good way. 

 

Nicole [00:04:40] I think they do, too. 

 

Sasheer [00:04:42] Yeah. You’re being authentically you, and that’s helping other people do that, too. 

 

Nicole [00:04:51] Yeah. I’m authentically me. 

 

Sasheer [00:04:54] Me? I’m somebody else. 

 

Nicole [00:04:56] No, you’re not, Sasheer. You are authentically you as well. 

 

Sasheer [00:05:00] I’m never me. 

 

Nicole [00:05:01] You’re always you. Always you. In big groups, everyone will be laughing and having a good time and you’ll be stoic, waiting to go home. And that’s authentically you. 

 

Sasheer [00:05:13] That’s me at my core. 

 

Nicole [00:05:16] I love you. I love it! It is one of my favorite things about you. But you are so good at dipping into a party or a good time and then either checking out physically or mentally. Because I’ve been to parties with you where you checked out mentally. Your physical body is still there, and you’re having a good time, but you are not at that party. 

 

Sasheer [00:05:40] I’m gone. I’m in bed already. 

 

Nicole [00:05:42] It’s great. It’s delightful. I love it. You put on sunglasses, and you go, “Not my problem. This is not my party. I’m nowhere to be found.” And I’m like, “You’re just wearing sunglasses. We can all see you.” And you’re like, “My soul and heart can’t see you. I’m not here.”

 

Sasheer [00:06:01] Yes. At the party I think you’re referencing, I switched sunglasses, like, three times. I had different wardrobe changes for sunglasses. But I was like, “No matter what, you will not see me.” 

 

Nicole [00:06:11] For a party you are not in attendance at. And it’s a very hard thing to explain. I’m happy you get it. But you were not there at that party. Your physical body was there. You were talking. You were doing things. We were hanging. You’d fade in and out. But it was as if you were a ghost. Truly floating around. People would ask you questions, and you’d be like, “Hmm. Not my department.” And I was like, “Not your department?” You had my favorite responses. At one point, you were like, “Here are coloring books.” And I was like, “What?” You’re asking people to leave with you. It was very funny. 

 

Sasheer [00:06:54] I guess I was like a party ghost. I was like, “Yeah, if you want, here are some coloring books. If you want, hula hoops are over here. I’ll be over there.”

 

Nicole [00:07:05] It was very funny. And then the food situation–I was like, “Time for me to leave.” Then I ate some mushroom chocolate and I was right there with you. Just floating around and above the party, being like, “I’m not here.” 

 

Sasheer [00:07:18] “We’re not here anymore. Bye.” 

 

Nicole [00:07:19] “Bye bye!” 

 

Sasheer [00:07:22] I was actually at a birthday party this week, and I saw someone who I haven’t seen since before the pandemic. And I was like, “I wanted to leave 10 minutes ago, so I’m not going to talk to this person.” I saw them from across the room, and I was like, “Damn, I haven’t seen this so long. But I already decided this conversation I’m currently having is the last conversation I’m having at this party.” 

 

Nicole [00:07:50] I mean, I really like that about. Just get out. Get out. 

 

Sasheer [00:07:56] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:07:57] I’ve been bad about going to parties. People keep– You do this, and I don’t mind it because you remind me or, like, I don’t know, I put it in my calendar. I don’t know. But, like, people keep sending me little screenshots of invitations. And I’m like, “And how do you think that’s going to get anywhere? You texted me a picture of a time in a location? I now have to do work to put it in a calendar or remember it.” Send me an evite like we are the almost 40-year-olds we are. 

 

Sasheer [00:08:27] This is true. 

 

Nicole [00:08:29] Let the robots in my computer put it in my calendar. 

 

Sasheer [00:08:35] Evites are great. They automatically put it in your calendar. They’ll send you a reminder. 

 

Nicole [00:08:39] Yes! That’s what I did for my birthday party. But the only thing was there was, like, a chunk of people that I forgot about because I’m not sending Evites out to my contacts. That’s insanity. I don’t want Evite to hack my phone. I don’t know what I thought Evite was going to do with my contacts. But, yeah, it’s hard to remember all the people that you want to come to a thing. 

 

Sasheer [00:09:05] I put together a list of people that I invited to one of my birthday parties and then have been adding and subtracting. I just keep it. 

 

Nicole [00:09:16] Oh, wow. Wow. 

 

Sasheer [00:09:22] Just a running list. A living document. 

 

Nicole [00:09:25] A living document, if you will. I love that. 

 

Sasheer [00:09:29] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:09:30] A living, growing document that takes over you! I’m kidding.

 

Sasheer [00:09:35] I’ve categorized it, too, and been like, “These are friends from Woke. These are friends from Home Ec. These are friends from UCB. These are friends from roller skating.” Whatever the thing is. It’s just so I, like, mentally know. 

 

Nicole [00:09:49] Which group am I in? 

 

Sasheer [00:09:51] You’re actually just at the top. Actually, not even in a category. It’s just Nicole Byer and, like, other people. 

 

Nicole [00:09:59] What a dream. That’s my favorite thing–that your friend group is called “Nicole Byer and other people.” I take it. I accept it. I love it. Can I tell you something? We’ve been apart before. Both of us have been working a lot, so we haven’t been spending as much time together, which breaks my heart into a billion pieces. But when you go to Atlanta to film, I’m worried they’re not going to give you a schedule in time enough to let me know the days you were free so I can get on an airplane and fly to you. 

 

Sasheer [00:10:40] Yeah. I have no idea what their scheduling’s like. I’ve been on shows where they give you the whole season schedule and you know exactly when you’re off. And I’ve been on shows where you don’t know until that week. I don’t know what the show is yet, so hopefully it’s the former. 

 

Nicole [00:10:56] I hope. And it’s fine to have moving pieces, but I need to know the chunky time that I can see my friend. 

 

Sasheer [00:11:04] Yeah. We’ll find a good, chunky time. 

 

Nicole [00:11:06] And I want to go to Atlanta, and I want to see the strippers. 

 

Sasheer [00:11:13] “Mommy. I want to see the strippers.” 

 

Nicole [00:11:14] “Mommy. Bring me to the strip club to see the strippers. I’d like to see one of the oldest ones, please, mommy.” 

 

Sasheer [00:11:19] You have been to Magic City, yes?

 

Nicole [00:11:21] No, that’s the thing. I have not experienced Atlanta’s fine strip establishments yet. 

 

Sasheer [00:11:27] Yeah. We got to go. 

 

Nicole [00:11:29] And I’d really like to go. 

 

Sasheer [00:11:31] That city’s so fun.

 

Nicole [00:11:32] Also, I invited myself. Is that okay–if I come see you?

 

Sasheer [00:11:35] I want you to come see me. Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:11:37] Okay, good. I needed to hear that. Sometimes I’m insecure about love. 

 

Sasheer [00:11:41] Okay. Well, this is good to know. Yes, Nicole, I would love, love, love for you to come and stay for a good chunk of time. 

 

Nicole [00:11:50] Now it’s on a recorded line and you can’t take it back.

 

Sasheer [00:11:56] “I’ll sue!”

 

Nicole [00:12:01] What a funny court case that would be. There is a Spanish judge–I have no idea what she’s saying, but they’ll have the translations–and I can’t remember her name, but she’s hilarious. There was a case where this woman was like, “Hello.” And she was like, “Hola.” And she was like, “Hello?” And she’s like, “No, we only speak Spanish here,” and wouldn’t let the girl speak in English because it was… I guess it was in Mexico or something. But she was like, “No, we speak Spanish here. You are a Spanish person. You speak Spanish, so let’s speak what we speak.” And it was just… She’s so funny. And all of the cases are so dramatic. 

 

Sasheer [00:12:37] Oh, yeah. Wait, there was one… I can’t remember what it was. It was so crazy. A woman hired her… housekeeper? How were they related? Hired someone to sleep with her husband.

 

Nicole [00:12:52] They, like, met in the street or something. 

 

Sasheer [00:12:53] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:12:54] It was like, yeah, this woman hired a trans woman to sleep with her husband. And then walked in on them while they were having sex. And the husband had died while… 

 

Sasheer [00:13:10] The trans person was inside the husband? Or it was the other way around. 

 

Nicole [00:13:15] No, no. The trans woman was inside her husband while he died. His orifice seized up, and they couldn’t get her off of him. And her genitalia was… She was like, “It broke.” He broke it. It’s broken. And it and it just kept getting wilder, and wilder, and wilder. And then there was, like, people who are friends with the woman who had a bent broke thing. And then her ex-boyfriend was there being like, “She’s not good. She’s not great.” And I was like, “You just came to be a hater.” And then the woman who hired her was like, “I didn’t know that they were going to have sex.” And the judge was like, “But you hired a woman–a working girl–and you didn’t think she’s going to have sex with your husband.” And then the working girl was just like, “Yeah, that’s exactly what she– She knew what I did. Everybody knows what I do.” It’s, like, a good 15, 20 minutes long. And it is delicious. Juicy. 

 

Sasheer [00:14:19] Juicy. 

 

Nicole [00:14:20] It’s truly a treat. I saw a clip on Instagram and I was like, “Yeah. I love this.” I think I sent it to you and Matteo. Matteo was like, “This is good.” And then you found the full-length feature and YouTube.

 

Sasheer [00:14:32] I did. I was like, “I gotta figure out what happens in the story.” 

 

Nicole [00:14:34] Oh, it’s so good. I’m like, “Make it a TV show!” 

 

Sasheer [00:14:37] I mean, real life drama with, like, people is, like, so much more entertaining. I mean, it’s, like, as entertaining as what is being written. But I don’t know. Some of the stuff you find on Jerry Springer or Ricki Lake is like… “They did what? With who?”

 

Nicole [00:14:58] Yeah. And growing up, I loved Ricki Lake. I loved Jenny Jones. I mean, there was that murder on Jenny Jones. 

 

Sasheer [00:15:07] I do not know this. 

 

Nicole [00:15:08] So this man came out as gay and professed his love to his friend. And then his friend, after the show ended, murdered his friend. 

 

Sasheer [00:15:19] I do remember this now. Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:15:20] Which is crazy. That’s wild. 

 

Sasheer [00:15:23] So it’s like… Now you’re a murderer? God.

 

Nicole [00:15:26] Yeah. And it’s like… They just said they liked you. You could’ve just ended the friendship. I mean, he did end the friendship, but in a way that was not reversible. And kind of rude. 

 

Sasheer [00:15:39] Not necessary. Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:15:40] Yeah. I think real life drama is fun. I haven’t seen much of Love Is Blind yet, but did you see the clip of the man putting fake tears in? 

 

Sasheer [00:15:51] No. I did not. 

 

Nicole [00:15:53] So he’s like he’s like, “Hang on one second.” And they’re, like, “Okay.” And then, he puts eyedrops in, and then he, like, starts blinking, and he’s like, “Is it okay that I did that?” And they’re like, “Yeah, if your eyes aren’t, like, hurt or whatever. Sure.” And then he’s like, “I just…” And then saying whatever. And then he’s like, “Hold on,” and then does that again. And it’s fake crying. 

 

Sasheer [00:16:15] Was it a confessional? 

 

Nicole [00:16:16] Yes. 

 

Sasheer [00:16:17] That’s so funny. 

 

Nicole [00:16:19] For whatever reason, this man thought that they were going to cut that part out. 

 

Sasheer [00:16:23] They’re like, “Sorry, we don’t stop filming. We’re going to air whatever we want.” 

 

Nicole [00:16:28] “We will make you look terrible.” But it’s like… I don’t think he needed anyone to make him look terrible. 

 

Sasheer [00:16:34] No, that’s just the way that person is. 

 

Nicole [00:16:36] Yeah. Here is my real issue with Love Is Blind. Everyone is traditionally pretty. I want to see some interesting looking people. Like, why aren’t there fat people on Love Is Blind? 

 

Sasheer [00:16:47] That’s a good point because it is supposed to be like, “Looks don’t matter.” And yet everyone is TV-pretty. 

 

Nicole [00:16:55] Yes. I want to see someone with two teeth. Not that having two teeth doesn’t make you beautiful, but it makes you different because, you know. 

 

Sasheer [00:17:05] I guess I’ve also–yeah–never seen anyone be like… Well, I guess, I mean, there was the Deepti and Shake situation, where he was like, “I’m not attracted to her,” which didn’t make sense 

 

Nicole [00:17:16] That literally did not compute. She was so– “Was?” She’s a person still. She’s very beautiful. 

 

Sasheer [00:17:23] So beautiful. 

 

Nicole [00:17:23] And it was so weird. Every single confessional he had, he was like, “I like her as a person, but I’m not sexually attracted to her. She’s like a sister.” It was like… Then tell her. Why are we stringing her along? 

 

Sasheer [00:17:36] I know.

 

Nicole [00:17:37] But I want to see a reveal where someone is like, “No.” I don’t know. Because it does matter. Love is not blind. 

 

Sasheer [00:17:45] Yeah. Where they actually have to struggle and, like, work their shit out now. Like, “Well, I didn’t fall in love with their personality. Is that enough?” 

 

Nicole [00:17:53] Yeah. Have I ever talked to you about one of my favorite reality shows called More to Love? 

 

Sasheer [00:18:09] Uh-uh.

 

Nicole [00:18:10] Okay. I have talked about this? Kimmie’s nodding her head. 

 

Kimmie [00:18:13] Jordan, maybe you can confirm. I think we’ve talked about More to Love on the show. Doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it again, but I do think we’ve talked about it. 

 

Nicole [00:18:20] I don’t want to be redundant, but it was a bunch of fat women who are competing to love this man who looked like a big potato. And they were all fat, and they put their weights at the bottom of the screen. 

 

Sasheer [00:18:28] Oh, my God. And they’d be like, “This is my last chance at love because I’m too fat!” And it was a sad, sad, sad show. 

 

Nicole [00:18:38] But I loved it. Fox had a beautiful run of the most horrific shows known to man. 

 

Sasheer [00:18:43] Oh, they really, really did. 

 

Nicole [00:18:44] Who Wants to Marry Prince Harry, where they gaslit these women into thinking that this, like–I don’t know–Costco brand man was Prince Harry. And then women would be like, “I don’t think that’s him.” And they’re like, “Yes, it is. Yes, it is.” 

 

Sasheer [00:19:06] That’s really funny. 

 

Nicole [00:19:07] It’s wild. And then Joe Millionaire. 

 

Sasheer [00:19:11] Didn’t they recently do a Joe Millionaire? I feel like they tried to bring that back in some way, but I can’t remember how. 

 

Nicole [00:19:17] Did they? Kimmie, will you look up if they rebooted Joe Millionaire? Because it’s a great concept. “This man has so much money. Compete to love him. So sorry. He’s a construction worker. He ain’t got no money. You still love?” That’s the first time I saw a blowjob on TV. 

 

Sasheer [00:19:34] Yes! 

 

Nicole [00:19:36] They went into the woods, and then the subtitle said, “Slurp, slurp!” Awful. 

 

Sasheer [00:19:42] I can’t believe that happened. I mean, I can believe the event happened. I can’t believe they captioned it like that. 

 

Nicole [00:19:47] Oh, yeah. They rebooted it. What year is it?

 

Sasheer [00:19:52] Joe Millionaire: For Richer or Poorer. 

 

Kimmie [00:19:55] It says, “20 women date two men, one rich and one with little material wealth, not knowing who is who.” 

 

Nicole [00:20:01] I love it. 

 

Sasheer [00:20:03] Two of them. Yeah, I think this came out recently. 

 

Nicole [00:20:05] I’m in. I’m in. I am in. Imagine, like, going to your room at night, being like, “Which one’s the poor one? It’s probably the one who’s nicer to me.” 

 

Jordan [00:20:17] Have you guys watched Fuck Boy Island? 

 

Sasheer [00:20:20] Yeah. That’s great.

 

Nicole [00:20:21] I have. It’s fun. I really love the boys who are just like, “Yeah, man. I’m one of the fuck boys. I don’t give a shit about women or their feelings. Fuck ’em. I’m here to fucking lick titties and go home.” It’s truly, really funny. Did the second season come out yet? 

 

Jordan [00:20:40] Oh, I’m not sure. 

 

Sasheer [00:20:41] I don’t know. But it’s funny. 

 

Nicole [00:20:43] It’s very funny. The group of human beings who are meant to be on reality TV, who find themselves to reality TV are incredible. 

 

Sasheer [00:20:53] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:20:53] It’s just perfect. I started watching Bling Empire–I think that’s what it’s called on Netflix–where it’s about a bunch of wealthy Asians. The wealth that they have surpasses anything I’ve ever seen on Real Housewives. 

 

Sasheer [00:21:09] Oh, wow. 

 

Nicole [00:21:09] It is real wealthy people. One lady was like, “Well, we’re in fashion week, but we have to go to a party? I guess we’ll get the jet ready, and I’ll get all packed up.” And it was like, “What? You guys will get the jet ready? What on earth?” It is a wild show. They go ring shopping, and then they bring out these, like, boulders, and they’re like, “Should we, you know, put this boulder on a band?” And they’re like, “Yeah.” It’s wild. 

 

Sasheer [00:21:37] Whoa. Where do they get their money from?

 

Nicole [00:21:39] Some of them are old money. I think a lot of them are old money or married these decrepit, old, white men for money. One of them is married to the oldest white man I’ve ever seen in my whole life. He’s almost see-through; he’s like a tissue paper. No offense to white people, but sometimes that happens when you get old. 

 

Sasheer [00:21:56] It is amazing. I guess that’ll just never end. I mean, some people fall in love. But if I was an old, rich person, and this young hot thing wanted to marry me, I would be a little suspicious. Wouldn’t you be like, “Hmm. Does this person really love me for me?” Or do you not care at that point? You’re just like, “Well, they’re hot.” 

 

Nicole [00:22:21] I think you get to, like, 80 years old and you’re like, “I don’t know. If this young lady wants to suck my dick with my nasty old balls hitting my knees, I’m in!” 

 

Sasheer [00:22:31] Yeah, I guess so. 

 

Nicole [00:22:34] You know? When I get to be old and nasty and my titties are… Well, I guess they’re small, so they’re not going to hit, like, my knees, but, you know, I get a wrinkle– I’m not really going to wrinkle ’cause I’m Black. You know, just my mobility suffers a little because right now my knee hurts a little bit. So, when I’m limping around from my joints, yeah! Give me a young, supple man to be with me. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:03] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:23:03] To suck on my titties. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:06] I can see that. 

 

Nicole [00:23:08] Wouldn’t you want a young, hot thing to suck up on your titties when you’re old? 

 

Sasheer [00:23:11] Yes, I would be. 

 

Nicole [00:23:14] See? That’s what everybody wants. Yeah, it’s either that or do you want to look at another hundred-year-old body being like, “I love you?” Like, “Uch. Do you?” I’m kidding. Maybe that is the dream. Maybe the dream is to grow old with somebody. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:32] I think all are good dreams. 

 

Nicole [00:23:35] I think so, too. Oh, my God. The thought of, like, being old with someone is crazy. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:43] Yeah? 

 

Nicole [00:23:45] Yes. My grandparents were married for, like, 50 years. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:49] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:23:50] That’s such a fucking long time. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:52] It’s a really long time. 

 

Nicole [00:23:53] To look at the same fucking person every goddamn day. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:56] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:23:57] For 50 years. 

 

Sasheer [00:23:59] Yeah. And I’ll see these interviews where people are like, “What’s the secret to your marriage?” And they’ve been married for like, you know, 50, 60, 70 years. And they’re just like, “Let the wife do whatever she wants.” Or like, “Never go to bed angry.” And I’m like, “There has to be more. That’s it?” 

 

Nicole [00:24:18] “Yep. That’s it. I always say ‘yes’ to her, and we never go to bed angry.” I think the secret to a lot of marriages and companionships is just accepting that you’re going to have a lot of differences of opinion because you’re going to be together a lot, and just literally picking your battles, and saying “okay” a lot to things that, like, you know, are wrong but don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. 

 

Sasheer [00:24:46] That’s really good, Nicole. 

 

Nicole [00:24:48] Yeah. I’m learning. I’m learning a lot about relationships. You don’t have to fight with everybody. If someone says the sky is orange–at sunset, parts of it are, so you just go, “Okay. But it’s 3 p.m. right now. It’s not fucking orange.” And I just say that to myself. 

 

Sasheer [00:25:08] Yeah. It can be an inside thought. 

 

Nicole [00:25:12] It’s like working with people on a set. Like, people will say things, and you’re like, “Alright. That’s…” There was something that happened, I was like, “Yeah, above my pay grade. Yeah. Sure, let’s do it that way. Okay.” 

 

Sasheer [00:25:25] Yeah, truly. “That doesn’t bother me either way.” 

 

Nicole [00:25:28] “Let’s do it.” And then when they go, “Ah. It doesn’t work. Let’s do it this way,” you’re like, “Yeah, man. That’s what I was trying to say before.” But you don’t say, “I told you so.” You just go, “Oh, that’s good, too.” 

 

Sasheer [00:25:41] No one likes an “I told you so.” 

 

Nicole [00:25:42] Nobody likes an “I told you so.” Except for the person saying, “I told you so.” 

 

Sasheer [00:25:49] Yes. 

 

Nicole [00:25:49] Because that’s their time. They’re like, “I’m sooo sorry.”

 

Sasheer [00:25:57] Yeah. “I’m back and better than ever!”

 

Nicole [00:26:02] People do love saying “I told you so” to me. 

 

Sasheer [00:26:05] I’m sorry. 

 

Nicole [00:26:06] It’s okay. 

 

Sasheer [00:26:07] Do I do that? 

 

Nicole [00:26:09] No. 

 

Sasheer [00:26:10] Yay.

 

Nicole [00:26:11] No, not with your mouth. Sometimes you’ll get a twinkle in your eye after I’m like, “This.” And you’re like, “Hmm.” And then you’ll change the subject. And I’ll be like, “Yes. She’s acknowledging that this is something she’s already told me. And it’s all good.” It’s honestly a treat because it never makes me feel bad. I just know it’s happening. I may seem vacant in the brain, but I understand nuances… sometimes. But most of the time, broad strokes are for me. Should we do a holiday quiz because it’s close to Christmas? 

 

Sasheer [00:26:59] That’s a really good idea. “Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way.” I’ll try not to have any more twinkles in my eye. 

 

Nicole [00:27:08] You can’t help it. It’s fine. 

 

Sasheer [00:27:10] I really can’t. I don’t know. 

 

Nicole [00:27:12] It’s fun. It’s very fun that you don’t. I like it. And I would never ask you to change who you are. 

 

Sasheer [00:27:18] Hey, thanks. 

 

Nicole [00:27:19] I can’t change who I am. It would be too hard. 

 

Sasheer [00:27:24] Okay. 

 

Nicole [00:27:24] “Order Some International Starbucks Holiday Drink. We’ll Tell You Where…” 

 

Sasheer [00:27:29] What? 

 

Nicole [00:27:30] I can’t read. 

 

Sasheer [00:27:31] “Order Some International Starbucks Holiday Drinks And We’ll Reveal Where In The World You Should Live.” It was a lot of “Ws.” I get it.

 

Nicole [00:27:44] “Eat Your Way Through A Dessert And We’ll Tell You Which Christmas Bath And Body Works That You Are.”

 

Sasheer [00:27:48] That’s funny. “Plan A Christmas Party And We’ll Guess If You’re An Introvert, Extrovert, Or Ambivert.” 

 

Nicole [00:27:55] Let’s do that one. 

 

Sasheer [00:27:58] That seems on topic. 

 

Nicole [00:27:59] It does. I wonder if I’m going to have to go to Christmas parties soon. 

 

Sasheer [00:28:04] Oh, yes. I’m gonna plan one soon. 

 

Nicole [00:28:06] You are? No, it’s a drink party. 

 

Sasheer [00:28:09] It’s a holiday drink party. 

 

Nicole [00:28:11] And do I have to bring a drink–slosh it around in my car? 

 

Sasheer [00:28:15] I haven’t decided yet. Yeah. I think some people should bring drinks, but I don’t expect everyone to bring a drink. So, I don’t know yet. 

 

Nicole [00:28:23] You could have four or five people come over and help make drink. 

 

Sasheer [00:28:26] Yeah. And everyone just comes and brings, like, little snackies. 

 

Nicole [00:28:31] Will this be inside and outside or just inside? 

 

Sasheer [00:28:34] I have to figure out how many people I’m inviting. I think I want the end of the night to be, like, inside and cozy. But I feel like it could start outside. 

 

Nicole [00:28:45] You might have to get heat lamps. 

 

Sasheer [00:28:47] Okay. Then I don’t want to do this maybe 

 

Nicole [00:28:48] Because it’s going to be chilly. 

 

Sasheer [00:28:52] That’s a really good point. Yeah. Maybe it’ll be a small inside gathering. 

 

Nicole [00:28:57] “Who will be invited?” 

 

Sasheer [00:28:59] I got my list. I’ll check it twice. 

 

Nicole [00:29:03] I started the quiz. 

 

Sasheer [00:29:05] Oh, I thought you were asking who will be invited to the party.  

 

Nicole [00:29:12] No. “It’ll be my list, and I’m checking it twice.” Okay, Santa. Honestly, I think it’s really petty of Santa to make a list and then check it twice. It’s like, “Okay, so maybe you give a naughty kid a gift. Like, who fucking cares? Like, let the naughty kid have a fucking gift. Maybe they’re not naughty. Maybe they’re neurodivergent. And, like, people don’t realize that, and they say he’s naughty, but he’s not.” 

 

Sasheer [00:29:35] Oh, Nicole, did you just not get gifts from Santa? This sounds real personal. “Maybe they haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet. Maybe they just want a chance to be a good person, but no one sees their potential yet.” 

 

Nicole [00:29:52] No, I always used to get gifts from Santa. But my mother sometimes would be like, “You are very poorly behaved, so you can’t have this thing.” And I’d be like, “But please! I couldn’t help it.” “Who will be invited?” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:10] “Just immediate family.” 

 

Nicole [00:30:12] “Friends only.” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:13] “Friends and immediate family.” 

 

Nicole [00:30:15] “Just my quarantine bubble.” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:17] “Party for one!” 

 

Nicole [00:30:19] “Everyone I know!” I mean, in my home in California, probably “friends” only because I only have two family members here. No, I guess I’d invite them. So, “friends and immediate family.” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:41] I would say… “friends and immediate family.” I have family in Cali. “Pick a Christmas movie.” 

 

Nicole [00:30:45] “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:49] “Elf.” 

 

Nicole [00:30:50] “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” 

 

Sasheer [00:30:52] “The Grinch.”

 

Nicole [00:30:53] Home Alone, to me, is not a Christmas movie. 

 

Sasheer [00:30:56] Why is it not a Christmas movie? 

 

Nicole [00:30:58] It’s because, to me, it’s not Christmas. I know it’s set at Christmas. But it’s not about Christmas. It’s about a boy left at home during Christmas. 

 

Sasheer [00:31:12] That kind of feels like the same thing. He wouldn’t have been left home unless it was for the whole family leaving for Christmas. 

 

Nicole [00:31:27] What about Thanksgiving or Easter?

 

Sasheer [00:31:29] Yeah. But the city doesn’t shut down like that. 

 

Nicole [00:31:31] Or vacation. I’m just saying– 

 

Sasheer [00:31:34] Because it wasn’t only his family leaving. Everything was closed. It’s different when it’s Christmas. 

 

Nicole [00:31:42] Okay. 

 

Sasheer [00:31:42] This story could not have happened unless it was Christmas. 

 

Nicole [00:31:47] Things are closed Thanksgiving Day. 

 

Sasheer [00:31:49] But just that day. 

 

Nicole [00:31:51] Things are closed on Presidents Day. 

 

Sasheer [00:31:58] Nobody wants to see a movie set on Presidents Day. The house decorated with our dead presidents. He has a cardboard cutout of George Washington that he’s moving back and forth in the window. 

 

Nicole [00:32:14] Uh huh. 

 

Sasheer [00:32:17] All right. “Home Alone.”

 

Nicole [00:32:20] “A Christmas Carol.” I usually would pick Home Alone because I love Home Alone. But since I don’t consider it a Christmas movie– What? 

 

Sasheer [00:32:31] Oh, just that after all that ranting, you were like, “I would pick a Home Alone.” And I’m like… 

 

Nicole [00:32:37] It’s not a Christmas movie, so I can’t pick it. So, I pick Elf. 

 

Sasheer [00:32:39] Okay, got it. I’m going to pick A Charlie Brown Christmas. Oooh. “Choose a festive drink to serve.” 

 

Nicole [00:32:49] “Hot buttered rum.” 

 

Sasheer [00:32:51] “Hot chocolate.” 

 

Nicole [00:32:53] “Eggnog.” 

 

Sasheer [00:32:54] “Mulled wine.” 

 

Nicole [00:32:56] “Peppermint mocha.” 

 

Sasheer [00:32:57] “Pumpkin spice latte.” 

 

Nicole [00:32:59] For Christmas? 

 

Sasheer [00:33:02] Yeah, it seems like… too late. 

 

Nicole [00:33:05] I’ve never had a hot buttered rum, but that seems good. I would taste that. 

 

Sasheer [00:33:09] I’m going to get that classic hot chocolate. It’s overflowing with marshmallows. 

 

Nicole [00:33:14] Are you happy about that? 

 

Sasheer [00:33:16] No, I don’t need that many marshmallows. 

 

Nicole [00:33:19] Okay. Good to know. 

 

Sasheer [00:33:21] I don’t really need marshmallows. I just want hot chocolate. 

 

Nicole [00:33:23] Nary a marshmallow?

 

Sasheer [00:33:26] No need. I’m a purist.

 

Nicole [00:33:28] Wow. I think marshmallows are just a nice little treat on top. 

 

Sasheer [00:33:31] They can be. 

 

Nicole [00:33:32] Okay. “Choose some decorations.” 

 

Sasheer [00:33:37] “A Christmas wreath.” 

 

Nicole [00:33:39] “Inflatable Santa.”

 

Sasheer [00:33:41] “A ton of outdoor Christmas lights.” 

 

Nicole [00:33:43] “Ornaments.” 

 

Sasheer [00:33:43] “String lights.”

 

Nicole [00:33:46] “Nativity scene.” I’m not dusting up my door with a Christmas wreath. “A ton of outdoor lights”; my house is beautiful. 

 

Sasheer [00:33:55] What are the lights underneath the “outdoor lights?”

 

Nicole [00:33:57] “String lights.” 

 

Sasheer [00:33:59] Maybe I’ll do “string lights.” Those are pretty. 

 

Nicole [00:34:01] I think I’m also going to do “string lights.” 

 

Sasheer [00:34:03] Yeah. They’re dainty. 

 

Nicole [00:34:06] Pretty. 

 

Sasheer [00:34:07] Not too much. 

 

Nicole [00:34:08] Elegant. “Choose a festive activity.” 

 

Sasheer [00:34:16] “Wrap Christmas presents.” 

 

Nicole [00:34:18] “Go Christmas caroling.” Are you kidding? 

 

Sasheer [00:34:21] Does anyone even do that anymore? 

 

Nicole [00:34:24] No! Wait, Jordan’s nodding her head. 

 

Sasheer [00:34:26] Do you do that? 

 

Jordan [00:34:27] I haven’t done it, like, super recent. But yes, I have done it. 

 

Sasheer [00:34:32] Aww. Is it welcome? Are people like, “Oh, thank goodness the carolers are here.” 

 

Nicole [00:34:35] Has anyone ever screamed at you? 

 

Jordan [00:34:38] No, I have had people, like, out the window, like, really angry. They’re like, “Move on! Go to the next house!”

 

Nicole [00:34:49] That’s so funny. I feel like I would be like, “I’m a Grinch. Please leave.” But I would let you finish your song and then complain about you after you left. 

 

Sasheer [00:35:00] “Decorate a gingerbread house.” 

 

Nicole [00:35:02] “Make homemade Christmas stockings.” 

 

Sasheer [00:35:05] “Bake some Christmas cookies.” 

 

Nicole [00:35:07] “Decorate the Christmas tree.” I’m making cookies, baby. 

 

Sasheer [00:35:16] I do get some satisfaction with wrapping Christmas presents. 

 

Nicole [00:35:20] Who knew? 

 

Sasheer [00:35:21] I like clean lines. I like nice folds. My man had to wrap something recently, and I was like, “Give me that. You’re not going to do it right.” And so, I wrapped it for him. And it had nothing to do with me. But I was like, “I just like making it neat and tidy.” 

 

Nicole [00:35:41] That’s very funny. I love that so much. You are my mother. My mother loved wrapping gifts. 

 

Sasheer [00:35:47] Yeah. There’s something satisfying about it. 

 

Nicole [00:35:50] Loved. And people would receive gifts from my mom and be like, “Wow!” ‘Cause they were so crisp. Crispy lines. You could even see where to open it. That was how crispy those lines were. 

 

Sasheer [00:36:01] So crisp. 

 

Nicole [00:36:02] Crisp. Okay. 

 

Sasheer [00:36:06] “Which Christmas song will you have on repeat?” 

 

Nicole [00:36:09] “All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey.” 

 

Sasheer [00:36:15] “Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande.”

 

Nicole [00:36:19] “Last Christmas by Wham.” 

 

Sasheer [00:36:22] “Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt.” 

 

Nicole [00:36:25] “Little Drummer Boy by Harry Simone Chorcles.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:31] “Simeone?” “Simone?” How do you say that?

 

Nicole [00:36:35] I don’t know. “Harry Simeone Chorcles.” 

 

Sasheer [00:36:37] It’s definitely not “Chorcles.” “Chorale?” 

 

Nicole [00:36:40] Oh, it’s “Chorale.” “Harry… Simon?” “Harry Simon Chorcle?” Why do I keep saying “Chorcle?” 

 

Sasheer [00:36:51] Yeah. You’re adding letters that aren’t there. 

 

Nicole [00:36:54] “Charcoal.” “Simeone.” “Simeone.” 

 

Google Pronunciation [00:36:56] “Simeone.” 

 

Nicole [00:36:56] “Simeone.” And then “Chorcle.”

 

Sasheer [00:37:03] So, “Harry Simeone… Chorcle.” And then “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by The Jackson 5.” 

 

Nicole [00:37:15] Yeah, “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” When I was little, I was like, “I can’t believe those kids had to go through that.” I don’t know if I could recover if I saw my mother kissing Santa. 

 

Sasheer [00:37:32] That is a lot. 

 

Nicole [00:37:32] It is. But then I grew up and I was like, “Oh, that was their dad.” Right? 

 

Sasheer [00:37:37] Yes. But they didn’t know that. 

 

Nicole [00:37:41] They sure didn’t; they were children. 

 

Sasheer [00:37:42] So you’re just like, “Wait. So… Not only did I watch my mom cheat on my father…” 

 

Nicole [00:37:50] “But it was with a man who brings me presents. I’m torn.” 

 

Sasheer [00:37:53] “How do I feel about this? Do I even want these presents?” 

 

Nicole [00:37:57] “Do I want them? I mean, yeah. But, like, do I want them under the guise of, like, my mom is cheating on my daddy?” 

 

Sasheer [00:38:02] “Yeah. Does my dad know?” 

 

Nicole [00:38:04] “Do I tell him?” 

 

Sasheer [00:38:05] “Is it an open arrangement?” 

 

Nicole [00:38:07] “If I tell him, do the presents go back? My whole thing is I need to keep my fucking presents.” 

 

Sasheer [00:38:16] But then you have a secret that you stay on for years. 

 

Nicole [00:38:18] Wild. Okay. Truly? What a dream. I’m having trouble. I want to do “All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey.” And I also want “Last Christmas.” And I also want “Santa Baby.” And I also want “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” I love them all! 

 

Sasheer [00:38:32] That is hard. I mean, I can’t really compete with All I Want for Christmas Is You. It just is Christmas. 

 

Nicole [00:38:43] Yeah, I think I have to go with that too. It is Christmas. What is this quiz? 

 

Sasheer [00:38:48] Oh, if you’re a party introvert, extrovert… 

 

Nicole [00:38:51] Oh, yes, yes, yes. 

 

Sasheer [00:38:53] Did you see that post? Mariah Carey posted a countdown to Christmas time. And it skipped Thanksgiving. And Martha Stewart was like, “We are not ignoring Thanksgiving just because you want to.” 

 

Nicole [00:39:11] My favorite thing about Martha Stewart is she lives her own life until someone says something she doesn’t like. And then she publicly is like, “Hey. I don’t like this. No.” 

 

Sasheer [00:39:24] “No. Don’t forget the holiday.” 

 

Nicole [00:39:27] I mean, Thanksgiving is a holiday for– It’s for the food!  

 

Sasheer [00:39:33] “What about your cornucopia?” 

 

Nicole [00:39:33] I haven’t thought about a cornucopia in years, Sasheer. I might have to get me a cornucopia. I might have to run on down to Gelson’s and get me a cornucopia. 

 

Sasheer [00:39:43] Get yourself a cornucopia.

 

Nicole [00:39:45] Oh, my God. I just saw this interview with Martha Stewart. This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. But they’re like, “Martha, you’re single. Are you looking to, like, mingle?” She was like, “I saw a man the other day. He said he knew me. I did not know him. And he would have been a nice man to date.” They’re like, “Are you going to try?” And she’s like, “No. My life is way happier not having to make coffee for somebody else in the morning.” And I was like, “Martha!”

 

Sasheer [00:40:08] Oooh. All right. 

 

Nicole [00:40:08] She’s funny. 

 

Sasheer [00:40:09] Yeah. Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:40:12] “What’s for dinner?” 

 

Sasheer [00:40:14] “Burgers and fries.” 

 

Nicole [00:40:15] For a party? “A traditional Christmas dinner.” 

 

Sasheer [00:40:22] “Pizza.” 

 

Nicole [00:40:23] “Just Christmas cookies.” “Come to dinner. Just eat these cookies.”

 

Sasheer [00:40:27] Oh, no. “Breakfast for dinner.” 

 

Nicole [00:40:30] “Chinese takeout.” 

 

Sasheer [00:40:32] I like Chinese takeout. 

 

Nicole [00:40:32] Hm? 

 

Sasheer [00:40:34] I like the idea of Chinese takeout. 

 

Nicole [00:40:35] Me too. I also like breakfast for dinner because my mom used to do that for me and my sister around Christmas. 

 

Sasheer [00:40:42] Oh, that’s nice. 

 

Nicole [00:40:43] She’d be like, “Dinnertime. Pancakes!” And we’d be like, “At night?” 

 

Sasheer [00:40:49] “Something different! 

 

Nicole [00:40:53] “Something crazy!” 

 

Sasheer [00:40:53] That’s cute. 

 

Nicole [00:40:54] I’m going to say “breakfast for dinner” because it reminds me of my mama. 

 

Sasheer [00:40:59] Yeah. I’m going to say, “Chinese takeout.” “Got room for dessert?” 

 

Nicole [00:41:04] “More Christmas cookies.” Imagine going to a party where dinner was cookies, and there was more cookies. I would be like, “We’re not friends anymore.” 

 

Sasheer [00:41:12] Yeah. “A skillet cookie with ice cream.” 

 

Nicole [00:41:17] “Candy canes.” 

 

Sasheer [00:41:17] “Chocolate cake.”

 

Nicole [00:41:21] Mm. “Gingerbread cookies.” 

 

Sasheer [00:41:23] “No dessert for me?” 

 

Nicole [00:41:24] And that’s when you find out your friend is the Grinch. I’m doing “skillet cookie with ice cream.” Are you kidding? Yum. 

 

Sasheer [00:41:32] Yes. Me, too. I don’t even like ice cream, but it’ll melt in a way that it makes the cookie taste really good and gooey. 

 

Nicole [00:41:40] Yes, it tastes good and gooey. And if you don’t like ice cream and it melts, it feels like you dipped it in milk. Oh, my God. 

 

Sasheer [00:41:51] “Time for Secret Santa. What does your wrapping paper look like?” 

 

Nicole [00:41:55] Okay, this is very neat with a bow. And it’s red and it’s white. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:02] This is… It looks like this is, like, recycled paper. Brown paper bag paper with, like, twine. 

 

Nicole [00:42:12] Yes. And then this is white boxes–which I don’t think have wrapping paper on–and red bows. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:19] This is a gift bag probably purchased at CVS or something. 

 

Nicole [00:42:24] This is a blue plaid wrapped gift with a blue bow. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:31] This is a red and white polka dot wrapping paper with a red, maybe satin–? A red bow. 

 

Nicole [00:42:42] That one looks like it was made by a Target employee. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:44] It does; it looks like a Target ad.

 

Nicole [00:42:47] I wonder if it is. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:49] Maybe.

 

Nicole [00:42:50] I mean, I’m definitely doing a bag. I love getting some tissue paper and throwing shit in a bag, baby. 

 

Sasheer [00:42:55] Nice and easy. I like the recycled paper option. 

 

Nicole [00:42:59] That is very your aesthetic. 

 

Sasheer [00:43:02] That’s me. That’s my thing. “Finally, your guests want to wear matching PJs.” Whoa, what a great idea. “Which ones are you wearing?” 

 

Nicole [00:43:15] “Wow, what a great idea.” These people… A mommy, and a daddy, and a child, I think. Or an aunt, and uncle, and the child that they’re raising because a family member had a problem… Are wearing red pajamas. And then the child… Okay. Here’s why I think it is an aunt and uncle raising their sibling’s kid is because the kid in the middle is the only one wearing a Christmas hat. So, they’re allowing him to have some real fun, even though it’s been a tough year for him. 

 

Sasheer [00:43:46] So you came up with that whole story because of a hat? 

 

Nicole [00:43:53] Uh huh. Yeah, and they’re not really, like, holding onto this kid because they’re still, like, gaining trust. All the clues are there, you guys. 

 

Sasheer [00:44:04] I would not have gotten that at all. I mean, they look like a family to me. 

 

Nicole [00:44:11] They do. 

 

Sasheer [00:44:13] They all look related. 

 

Nicole [00:44:14] Well, they are related because this kid is his sister’s son. And she’s not doing well, so she had to give the kid up. So, they’re raising him. You see how far away the woman is? It’s because she’s not blood related to this child; that’s not hers. But she’s, like, happy to help him. You know, the kid is, like, not familiar with her because she’s not, like, family-family. He only knows her, you know, from a distance or whatever. And then, you know, they’ve only been married for a couple of years. And he’s known his uncle his whole life, so he’s comfortable with him. But he’s getting comfortable with her. 

 

Sasheer [00:44:52] Got it. All right. 

 

Nicole [00:44:54] It’s all there. The clues are all there. You think they’re, like, a nuclear family? 

 

Sasheer [00:45:03] They do look like a nuclear family. 

 

Nicole [00:45:05] No, this wife is younger than this husband because this is his second marriage. The clues are all there. 

 

Sasheer [00:45:19] It’s also possible this is a stock photo. 

 

Nicole [00:45:22] But it’s not. This is life. Well, okay. It might be a stock photo because it applies to people’s lives. So, if you Google in “second marriage Christmas raising child that’s not yours but is your husband’s,” I’m sure this will come up. 

 

Sasheer [00:45:42] Kimmie’s typing it in. Oh boy. Let’s see. 

 

Nicole [00:45:51] Dang. 

 

Sasheer [00:45:52] I’m seeing some interesting pictures. Oh, look at this. There’s, like, one where… Is that a dad fully… arms crossed and back to the child, and the child’s looking at the mom? Oh, there’s that one. The one next to it. It’s, like, in the shadow. 

 

Nicole [00:46:06] Yeah, it’s really funny. “Parent alienation.” Oh, wow. Interesting. Oh, yeah. “Parent alienation is when one parent shit talks another parent to get that kid on their side.” 

 

Sasheer [00:46:21] Ooh. Damn. 

 

Nicole [00:46:22] I’ve been reading stuff on Instagram. 

 

Sasheer [00:46:26] Yeah. Why is that coming up on your feed? 

 

Nicole [00:46:29] Well, listen, you click on one thing and then Instagram goes, “Oh, you’re interested in parenting things?” I got to get my algorithm back to how I want it. Which is ducks. Ducks please! 

 

Sasheer [00:46:42] Okay. The question was “What pajamas are you wearing?” And the second option is they’re red and white striped, like, footy pajamas, I guess. 

 

Nicole [00:47:00] The girls are in red and white stripes. And the boy is in blue and white stripes. 

 

Sasheer [00:47:07] This one is… Everyone’s wearing a “Ho Ho Ho” red and white sweater. Even the dogs. 

 

Nicole [00:47:14] Wait. Do you know what’s going on in this picture? 

 

Sasheer [00:47:18] With the dogs? 

 

Nicole [00:47:19] Do you know what’s going on in this picture? 

 

Sasheer [00:47:22] I don’t. Please enlighten me.

 

Nicole [00:47:25] Okay. The dog that he is holding is a new dog. It has been misbehaving, but it finally started behaving well. And they’re all really excited about it. 

 

Sasheer [00:47:34] Oh, that’s great. But also, the other dog is jealous. 

 

Nicole [00:47:39] Very jealous. See, Sasheer? I’m telling you. The picture’s telling you. You know. That dog does not like the other dog. It’s like, “Just because he behaved well today doesn’t mean he’s going to behave well tomorrow. I’m the best one.” 

 

Sasheer [00:47:51] And the woman’s holding that dog so that dog doesn’t attack the new dog. 

 

Nicole [00:47:54] Yes. Yes, Sasheer! Okay. I love that I’ve taught you how to read a picture. Okay. This next pajama is mismatched. She’s said, “I don’t care about matching.” She is wearing candy cane, red and white striped leggings with slippers with a bow–maybe some sequin. And then the shirt is red with white snowflakes. 

 

Sasheer [00:48:16] And then the last pair of pajamas are these red and, I think, green or blue plaid pants? And then, like, cotton, quarter length, gray shirts. 

 

Nicole [00:48:34] And they’re dancing and dabbing because her mother-in-law’s not coming. And he doesn’t really like his mom anyway. 

 

Sasheer [00:48:41] Damn.

 

Nicole [00:48:43] I’m picking the last one. 

 

Sasheer [00:48:47] I’m going to pick the “Ho Ho Ho” matching sweaters. 

 

Nicole [00:48:51] Oooh, okay. That’s nice. 

 

Sasheer [00:48:54] I’m an introvert! Obviously. “You’re definitely an introvert. People describe you as shy, self-aware, reflective. You would much rather spend time alone than at a party full of people.” This is true. 

 

Nicole [00:49:06] I’m also an introvert? 

 

Sasheer [00:49:07] What? 

 

Nicole [00:49:09] “You’re definitely an introvert. People describe you as shy, self-aware, reflective. You’d rather spend time alone than at a party full of people.” I mean, I don’t think so. 

 

Sasheer [00:49:20] I do think you’re an introverted extrovert. 

 

Nicole [00:49:26] Yeah, because I do need time to recharge but I do love being with the people. 

 

Sasheer [00:49:30] And I think I’m an extroverted introvert. 

 

Nicole [00:49:34] Yes, I think so. 

 

Sasheer [00:49:37] Yeah. 

 

Nicole [00:49:38] We have to go. 

 

Sasheer [00:49:39] We have to go. 

 

Nicole [00:49:41] We have to go. Usually we answer a question, but we didn’t today. And if you have a question, you can email nicoleandsasheerI@gmail.com. We have to go! Or you could text or call the number 424-645-7003. We have to go!

 

Sasheer [00:49:53] Hurry! We also have merch at podswag.com/bestfriends. 

 

Nicole [00:49:56] We have to go! We have transcripts of our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. We got to go! 

 

Sasheer [00:50:03] Quickly! Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That’s the easiest way to support this show. 

 

Nicole [00:50:07] Quick, before we’re gone! Bye. 

 

Sasheer [00:50:09] Bye!