EP. 102 — Laci Mosley

Jameela [00:00:00] Oh, hi there and welcome to I Weigh with Jameela Jamil. A podcast that is designed to end your relationship with shame and self-hate. Now I am hoping that you’re well, I am currently a bit disorientated because I’m in bloody Germany and I have never lived in Germany before, and I’m living here on my own in Berlin for the next couple of months. It’s fucking amazing here and the people are great and the food is great and I’m way in over my head surrounded by ridiculously talented people as I come to face maybe one of my top five fears, which is singing and dancing on television, which I know nobody asked for. But I got a part somehow in the new series Bumper in Berlin, which is pitch perfect as part of the Pitch Perfect franchise. And there are characters from the original who are in it and we’re following their story. And I am now adding to that, and I’m singing and I’m going to be dancing on the TV. So I have no idea how that’s going to pan out for anyone because these are not things I am known for and nor have I done. I mean, since I was a kid, really. And I’m not a kid now, but I do tell you constantly to run at fear. And I tell you about how I run at fear and how I, you know, I always run at failure. I don’t consider failure to be anything other than noble, cause you tried when success wasn’t guaranteed. Well, you cannot say I do not walk the fucking walk because here I am once again risking global humiliation, permanent global humiliation in pursuit of adventure and finding out what my own boundaries are. I just think that we have this terrible tendency to specifically with people who’ve been socialized as women to curb. Not just their appetite, but even their ability to discover what they may be capable of. And unfortunately, you know, it’s a bit risky, but one of the ways to find out what you’re capable of is to just fucking try, even if you have no idea what you’re fucking doing. So I am here to find out if I can sing and dance without globally humiliating myself. And even if I do, even if I am shit and if it’s shit, I’ve done my best and I’ve done something really brave and I’m having an adventure and a life experience. I’m learning stuff and making friends, so it will have been fucking worth it. I feel really lucky to be here. I love this place. I love all the people involved. All of the people involved are just fucking amazing, and I can’t really tell you much more beyond that. But just know that as I am here currently shitting my pants with fear, I’m still really glad that I’m not sitting at home wondering what if? I’m not sitting there protecting my ego because I’m afraid to fuck up in front of other people. I’m out here balls to the wall just doing what I can to keep my head above water and just enjoying the imposter syndrome of it all. Anyway. Another person who takes massive risks in their career and who is just open to the periphery and the magic of life and and all of the unexpected adventures that come your way is Laci Mosley, who is my guest this week on this podcast. You may know her as the scam goddess. She has one of the best podcasts in the world, and it’s about scams and scammers. And Laci loves a fucking scammer. She loves them as long as you know, as long as they’re not like actually doing something evil and intentionally harmful. She loves someone who just gets away with a good scam, and she’s such a funny and interesting and cool woman with such a great story, and this podcast was kind of a different side to her than one would normally hear on the Scam Goddess because she was just so honest with me and upfront and deeply personal and extremely inspiring, and talks a lot about her experiences in this industry as a young woman, in particular as a dark skinned black woman. She talks about how important it is to be your authentic self and takes us through that relationship with her. We talk about her relationship with her body and how she’s trying to love herself again, like she did when she was little. We talk about her relationship to her own skin color and the colorism that she has faced because of that skin color. She’s someone I think a lot of you will really like. I really like her, and so I’m thrilled to introduce you to the wonderful Laci Mosley. Laci bloody Mosley, welcome to I Weigh. How are you? 

Laci [00:05:33] I’m good. That’s a lie, but it sounds good. I don’t know. I always say we’re good, right? 

Jameela [00:05:40] I know it’s especially women. I feel like we would never care to burden anyone with our troubles. 

Laci [00:05:46] Right, I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me how I was doing. Maybe best friends and we always laugh like, how are you doing Laci? I’m like bad. I’m down bad. It’s sad. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever been honest because that would make people uncomfortable.

Jameela [00:05:58] No, but you’ve got you’ve got a lot going on. I mean, Jesus Christ, aside from what’s going on in the world, you yourself are going through many old things and all at the same time trying to balance a pretty ridiculous career. The last couple of years is coming to fun and I think therefore I know exactly probably how it feels. I have watched your rise just be so I don’t want to say speedy because you’ve been working at your craft for a really long time, and you are kind of a of vet in many ways, and you’re extremely experienced, extremely talented. 

Laci [00:06:34] Thank you. 

Jameela [00:06:34] Someone who I think anyone would feel very safe for the production in your hands, but your rise has been like quite meteoric in the last two years. As for really exciting to watch? 

Laci [00:06:44] Thank you. Thank  you.

Jameela [00:06:46] What has it felt like, you alright? 

Laci [00:06:50] That’s the wild thing. I’ve really had to start chastising myself, but also being kinder to myself. So in some ways, I’ll chastise myself and in the sense of you need to be grateful like you should be happy like not, you should be happy because I think that’s putting too much pressure on like not feeling your own feelings, but allowing myself to pause and like, enjoy things and be excited by things. Because unfortunately, all of the really good things that have happened in my life in the past, like two, two and a half years, have also been coupled with some of the worst things that have happened. So I found myself distracted trying to, you know, take care of family or worry about things that are going on or COVID or, yeah, you know, a war, you know, is popping. And then I’m also trying to make art and be happy and be excited about opportunities. Things I was really excited about all being moved virtually. Sitting in my house alone or watching my first, you know, late night show on Conan and like falling asleep. My mom called me and woke me up and was like, Oh, you know, your Conan episode came out that I had to shoot in a car because I was on location and I had to drive to a coffee shop and steal Wi-Fi. So everything is it’s all. It’s been good, but it’s also chaos at the same time. 

Jameela [00:08:01] Totally. And you’ve like, you’ve wanted to do this forever. I mean, you do so you do so many things within the kind of entertainment spectrum. I think similarly with me, we kind of both of us refused to be put into a box. You’re not just an actress, you’re not just a comedian, not just a podcaster, not just a personality. You are all of those different things. And so have you have you wanted to do all this? Because all of this came to me as a surprise in my 20s. I didn’t plan on doing this at all. Was this something that you always had your kind of heart set on? 

Laci [00:08:32] That’s interesting you say that that reminds me of when you did my podcast and you were talking about how you were a teacher at the time. And yeah, I think all of that experience that you’ve had in life has brought such an amazing color to all the work that you do, which is excellent. 

Jameela [00:08:46] Thank you.

Laci [00:08:49] Yeah it all kind of happened a little bit accidentally. I always knew I wanted to act or I thought I wanted to act. And then when I started to realize, you know, as a dark skinned woman, opportunities, you know, they are way more abundant now than they were when I first started pursuing this as a professional career. And at the time, I was like, Whoa, I don’t want to sit around and wait for opportunities to happen to me. I feel really bad for performers who are really, really good at their craft but can’t make anything. But I don’t think it’s true that anyone that you can’t, that anyone can’t make things. I think that that’s the thing that’s been great about the internet, become the internet and Instagram and all these platforms where we can all speak. They have their negative sides, but we also have a great democratizing aspect of like anybody can make anything and anybody can garner the attention of the world, you know, if they work hard enough and try hard enough. So I guess what I’m saying is, is that I feel bad for artists who feel like they can’t make things because 

Jameela [00:09:48] And we encourage them to try. 

Laci [00:09:49] Yes. And I’m encouraging them to try. Because the feeling like a sitting duck and hoping that someone’s going to make something that you’re fit for and that you get in the room for, and that you have the opportunity, you know, to, you know, get. That’s that’s really stressful. You know, it can feel hopeless at times. 

Jameela [00:10:07] Was there a lot of rejection at first? 

Laci [00:10:11] Yeah. Oh, there still is. Honey. You know how many times I auditioned for things that are sitting in some A-listers inbox box and I’m like girl. What did y’all even send me this? It’s going to be you or Viola Davis, girl. No.

Jameela [00:10:26] Hey, at some point Viola Davis got an email that was sitting in someone else’s inbox, you know what I mean, like at some point we’re going to need to find the next Violet Davis, but I do know what you mean. 

Laci [00:10:39] I’m sitting in the shadows, like my client, I’m ready. Yeah. 

Jameela [00:10:43] So that’s why you then sort of working in kind of like comedy troupes and then you sort of making your own podcast and all of these different things, becoming more of a comedian to make sure that you could kind of take ownership of your own career. 

Laci [00:10:55] One to take ownership. But mostly I started because I really needed community. I think that if you’re going to be an artist and I think people were born as artists, so if you want to pursue making art your full time job, it’s important to surround yourself not only with people who live outside of that space and your friends from wherever walks of life, but also people who are inside that space, who you can get advice from, who you can work with, who you can share and same experience. Because I feel like that gave me a lot of confidence because I was distracted. I was making sketches. I had a ton of wigs in my car. You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe I wasn’t getting every job that I auditioned for, but I wasn’t checking the email or calling my reps or, you know, hoping like I would just send every audition. And I learned this from a wonderful teacher in college his name is Ken Bolden, and I talked about him in the vultures. 2020 was twenty two comedians you should watch this year. Ken Bolden, he told me every audition is just an opportunity to entertain people. And so if you treat it that way, you don’t hope for them to like you. You don’t hope for an opportunity to come out of it. If you just do the art and you try to entertain people with the little time you have, you take the ego out of it and then your nerves aren’t involved and you’re not hoping for things. 

Jameela [00:12:10] You’re not pick me. 

Laci [00:12:11] Yeah, exactly. You’re not thirsty. 

Jameela [00:12:13] Yeah, I was given similar advice because I hate auditioning. Where I was told that imagine that’s your only chance you might ever get to play that role. So just enjoy it as much as possible. And I think that’s also just like a really, I think they’re both just really nice, really pressure free and joyous ways to embrace what is otherwise a fucking soul destroying experience. I think anyone who isn’t in this industry that probably can’t imagine how how weird there’s an aspect of it that similar to any job interview or even a I don’t wanna say a date that sounds a bit MeToo era. I just mean, you know, you say you want to put your best foot forward exactly pre 2016. Maybe it did feel like a date, but whether you wanted to or not. But but you’re like so much of the time, even when you get up there and you start getting credits to your name and you start doing well, you’re just sitting in a room full of other people who all want to do the same job that you want to do. Then they call you in, and I don’t know if this has been your experience, but they barely look up from their page. You come in, you do your lines. They sort of boss you around a little bit and then they don’t really ask you any questions. You got one take maybe two if they kind of liked what you did and see potential and they give you a note, and then they just don’t read any kind of reaction as to whether or not they enjoyed it. And then you leave. 

Laci [00:13:42] See I have I have a weird experience because 

Jameela [00:13:44] you have a great time, don’t you? You bastard. 

Laci [00:13:47] OK. OK. Where did that knife come from? No I have a weird experience because my first job was a series regular on the show called Florida Girls that my one of my best friends, Lord Chen, wrote. And then after the audition process, I found out that she wrote the role for me, but 

Jameela [00:14:07] Oh that’s really sweet. 

Laci [00:14:08] So I missed a lot of the ghosts years of meeting the casting directors and like doing that whole process. What I’m more familiar with is tapes. 

Jameela [00:14:19] Oh oh, I pretty much refuse. 

Laci [00:14:22] I’ve had some auditions in person, and I will say to your point, auditions I had in person, they were like casting directors bossing you around. But it was never in my experience them, like not looking up at me or not paying attention. Almost the opposite where I felt like I was being kind of like hoed a little bit where it looks. I remember doing an audition. I won’t say for what because I actually got the job, but I did the same read like 18 times no lie and every single time. Like, OK, this time she’s sad. This time she’s desperate. OK, this time. And by the time I got to like the 12th, I was like, are you all fucking with me like, where’s Ashton? Where are the cameras? This is the bait scene. I will say something to the point of the the weird power dynamic between casting directors and actors, which I do not subscribe to anymore. But obviously, I know that that is a privilege. I remember a casting director when I was in New York City who really fucked up my head for a few years. I’ll never forget this racist white lady. Oh, I wish I remember her name because I would find her, and I wouldn’t do anything to her, and I just want a stunt. So I went to one of those scams which if you don’t know this job, this is a scam, if you’re trying to do anything entertainment where you pay to pat the casting director honey. You for the little class where you go and it was so popular around like twenty fifteen twenty sixteen. You give your coins up to sit in a room and let a casting director tell you what you should be doing as an actor and how to get cast and how to meet the castings directors happy. All this bullshit, casting directors have no power. Literally, they are a middleman. The producers, the people who are working on the project are people who are going to choose the talent. But casting directors just filtered through auditions and they’ve made actors because we’re at behest of them feels like, Oh, it’s Christmas, I gotta mail out these thank you cards and these Starbucks gift cards to these casting agencies for bringing me in and I got to pay them to go to their sessions. 

Jameela [00:16:16] Wait shit did you do that? 

Laci [00:16:16] I did it, but it was advice that was given to me when I first moved to Los Angeles was like, Mail them like your little picture, but also with a little gift card at the holidays and thank them for bringing you in and all sort of bs and like this is your job and actors already it’s pay to play. You’re putting out so much money in the beginning of your career on photos from criminals and scammers and anybody with a Nikon, you know, paying for classes you’re paying, you’re probably waiting a table or have a side hustle. If you’re not lucky enough to have parents to support you, you know you’re doing so much to further your career. That is all paying in and not necessarily getting paid back to you in the beginning. So I think it’s just so predatory. But my point about the casting director was I was in New York, went to this pay to play scam and I remember I did an audition. It was like she was a commercial casting too which the audacity. And I remember reading and then she told me afterwards, You know, you’re like, very sassy. And that’s not what people are looking for in black people anymore. And like, you don’t have to be a stereotype and like, you know, we’re looking for more nuanced performances. And I really took it to heart of like am I like? And also, this is the why were you telling me I’m coon hold on. And then it took me years to realize it. Oh, I can’t be anything other than myself and what I have to bring to something, and that’s always going to be right. But if I’m coming in here trying to be something that someone else likes, then I’m automatically like putting myself in the losing category. 

Jameela [00:17:35] And I think a lot of people don’t realize that. I think that’s what it is that we are so encouraged to just blend and be sheep. And yet all the people who made it are the ones who stuck to their own thing. 

Laci [00:17:44] Mm hmm. I think we’re all taught too much about like, you know, when you watch read articles where it’s like the Meryl Streep’s and the people who really like to get into method acting, we kind of look at that stuff being like, Oh, this is what I should be doing at my auditions when it’s like those people are at a different level where they’re getting offered roles and putting in fake teeth and wigs and shit. When you’re starting out like you’re slinging you, like you got to go in there be you do you. And that’s what makes you an individual. 

Jameela [00:18:11] I think trying to stand out, trying to be different. Trying to not blend in for me has been my strength throughout my entire almost 15 year career now it’s just like, get weird be different. Have people dislike you. Have people find you annoying. Have people be offended by the fact that you’ve had the same hairstyle since you were two years old. 

Laci [00:18:28] If it works, it works. 

Jameela [00:18:28] Just just don’t just just feel free to like, find your own, your own authenticity, your own like freedom. And I feel as though that’s going to resonate with the right people, the people who also want to be free. I think there is. I think there is a fear that makes people hate other people’s freedom, that those people don’t feel safe to be free themselves, so they try to hate on or curb your freedom. And so I think if you’re looking for the right people, the right community, the right following the right fans, the right, whatever. I think I think the people that I want to care about me and to like me are those who want to be free themselves. 

Laci [00:19:04] Ding, ding, ding. And that works everywhere. That works everywhere. 

Jameela [00:19:08] So growing up? Are you were you confident? Were you always like happy about the way that you looked? Were you happy and with your personality at school? Like, were you popular? I feel like you would be super popular because you have an objectively fantastic personality. 

Laci [00:19:25] Thank you. So, do you. No I wasn’t popular. I was a joke about this. I was powerful and only because my my parents were sheltering me. I wasn’t let go nowhere honey, with nobody. People who have sleepovers. My mom was like, uh uh I used to be a caseworker what if the dad comes home and kills the whole family you there, you die too you know, I’m like this just the cheerleaders party I can’t go? OK. I was sheltered.

Jameela [00:19:54] That is dramatic, so like, sheltered and deeply traumatized at the same time. 

Laci [00:19:59] Truly. I never thought about it, but just like yeah, mom, it’s like, 2pm, what that’s that’s a lot just to drop and then to move on. I love my mother. But yeah, so the only way that I could be outside of my house was to be involved in school. So I ran track. I was a cheerleader, I was student council president and student body president, and then they made me give up one. So I kept the one with speech my senior year. I just did anything that I could to get out of the house. I was lucky enough that as a kid. I don’t remember thinking about my body. I worked out a lot. And I don’t remember thinking my body looked good. And I don’t remember thinking it looked bad. I just don’t remember focusing on it. 

Jameela [00:20:40] Wonderful. 

Laci [00:20:40] Which now is completely the opposite. And I’m trying to channel like high school Laci because now working in TV, you know your body is a part of your product. So I do think about my body a lot now. I try to keep it healthy, but I’m not going to say that it’s always healthy. Right now, I’m in the middle of a body problem. 

Jameela [00:21:00] Yeah. So when you say healthy, just to be clear to anyone listening, you’re not just saying like thin and with abs, you’re saying literally a live functioning, able to pull a 16 hour day. 

Laci [00:21:09] Yes, I don’t associate healthiness with thinness. 

Jameela [00:21:12] Yeah, exactly. when did you notice like being aware of your body start to creep in? 

Laci [00:21:20] I’d probably say when I was like 25. So a little bit later in life, that’s when I really started, like the first show I shot was Florida Girls and we were always in swimsuits. So I’m shooting a comedy show where I’m constantly in swimsuits and running around and. 

Jameela [00:21:37] Oh. Fuck me. 

Laci [00:21:38] Yeah, it was wild. And so, yeah, I was very conscious of like, how’s this going to look like kind of try pose in scenes or like, look at playback to make sure like, I don’t have my stomach isn’t hanging out or whatever. You know, my arm, you know, keep my arms further from my body because it looks thinner that way. Insane things like you shouldn’t be thinking about while you’re trying to do comedy and make art. 

Jameela [00:22:00] No, that was me. That was me on my first presenting job when people used to be like you’re shit. I used to think they were just being mean. But then I watched it back a few years ago and I was like, I was shit. Actually that was fair. And it’s because I was so consumed with the way that I looked that all I was thinking of is, do I look thin right now? Like, are my legs far enough apart? Are my arms far enough from my body, blah blah blah. Do I look pretty enough? Does my face look thin enough while I’m speaking? Like, I shouldn’t smile otherwise, it’ll make my cheeks puff out too much. Like, so I was beyond narcissism, it’s like it’s all the way through to like full like, I was neurotic and and I’m consumed, and therefore I wasn’t concentrating at all on what I was delivering. I was just reading the teleprompter and making sure that I looked like a fashion girl rather than actually like trying to entertain anyone. 

Laci [00:22:55] Yeah. Well it’s hard cause it’s half of our business. Like, I kind of always say there’s like, you know, performers, there’s comedians, there’s dramatic actors, there’s models. So there’s literal models who are in the acting industry, who fit model proportions, who also walk runways. And there’s that’s no shade to them because a lot of them are fantastic actors as well. But it’s like when that’s what’s juxtaposed to you as the norm for your industry, then you start to forget that like the model, like the girls on Euphoria with all their talent and beauty. Like, I wouldn’t believe that, you know, they were a mother of four, you know, working in Philadelphia and taking the bus to work. But that’s a job that’s a role in acting. So there’s places for different looking people, but you you see those people magazine so often that you’re thinking like, that’s the standard. Look, that’s what I need to look like in order to be able to work and be successful. And if that’s not what you’re naturally born as then that can create an unhealthy relationship with your body image, which  

Jameela [00:23:55] And also makes you a sucky fucking performer. 

Laci [00:23:56] Yeah. 

Jameela [00:23:57] I went away 

Laci [00:23:59] I’m not saying they’re the reason that that’s happening. I’m saying that the industry has made this a toxic environment. Not that if you are a person who looks that way, that’s not your fault. And that’s amazing. And also, people look different ways and that are amazing, too. I’m just saying like our industry is made of very toxic. 

Jameela [00:24:16] 100, also the same thing with ageism it’s not young people’s fault. You know what I mean? It’s just it’s a 

Laci [00:24:20] Right we was all supple at one point, I love it get out there. Sky’s out thighs out.

Jameela [00:24:26] But going away and doing radio made a better performer and a better comedian out of me. And I did that for four years where no one could see me, and I couldn’t rely on anything to do with the way that I looked. And I wonder if doing your podcast, which is like such a huge like it started as a cult hit and now it’s just like a hit hit Scam Goddess, which is how we first met and had a fucking dramatic start to our friendship. Jesus Christ. But did doing a podcast kind of help you separate that anxiety? And just like help you hone in on your craft where you don’t have to feel self-conscious, you are just there being engaging, like working with conviction? 

Laci [00:25:06] Absolutely. I think doing the podcast more than anything gave me a sense of autonomy that I didn’t realize I was going to get. I had been creating things and doing standup and performing live, but to have something that I create and produce and work with a lot of talented people to put out every single week for the past two and a half, almost three years. It really gave me a sense of like, Oh, I don’t have to look a certain way. I don’t have to do things the way that other people want me to do them to be successful. And I really needed that. That helped a lot because I won’t lie. There’s been auditions I turned down because I was like, Oh, they want a full body slate, and I’m not bad enough for this role. I’m not going to waste my time. Or I’m not lightskinned enough for this role, which honestly, I’m sorry. There are some colors out there who they don’t mess with colorism honey, so I’m not wrong to not waste my time. But at the same time, it’s like, why is it the first thought in my head when I’m reading this material? Whereas now I’m like, ooh you’d be lucky to have me I’m great. And so if I like the stuff, then I’ll submit the audition no matter what I feel like I’m up against. 

Jameela [00:26:19] I would like to talk about the colourism aspect of what you’ve noticed in this industry and what exists in this industry. Would would it be all right if we could talk about this because you’ve touched on so many elements of colorism in show business, not just in the point of view of casting and hiring and when roles for even like existing darker skinned women are given to lighter skinned actresses who they either make look darker skinned or just keep as a light skinned version of this like dark skinned black woman who is an icon. And I don’t know if that happens more with black women than black men. 

Laci [00:27:00] Oh, absolutely more with black women. 

Jameela [00:27:01] I would say so yeah.

Laci [00:27:02] I don’t know if it happens with black men at all. The black male, darker skinned black male has always been sexualized, which is not a good thing. But one of the benefits to something that is really awful in our history is, is that, you know, they’re seen as desirable. I would say that the dark skinned woman is probably maybe just above dark skinned black trans women when it comes to like how much we all get punched down on and are expected to uplift communities and help people. But at the same time are not considered to be soft or feminine or worthy of protection. And that. 

Jameela [00:27:40] Just service? 

Laci [00:27:41] Yeah, service just service. Don’t let us complain. Don’t let us say our backs hurt and our feet are tired. And them going, shut up you wench. Get out of here darky. So, you know, that’s my life. 

Jameela [00:27:53] Fuck. And it’s not just in the industry like this does exist out in the world. I remember a tweet. I remember a tweet of yours from years ago where you were talking about being on an airplane. I might get this wrong. Sorry, but I feel like you said you were on an airplane. You were loading your bags into the hold. And this guy apropos of nothing, just said to you, I don’t normally fancy darker skinned women, but you’re really cute. Along those lines, correct? 

Laci [00:28:15] Yeah. 

Jameela [00:28:15] What a fucking nerve. 

Laci [00:28:17] Oh yeah, that’s kind of

Jameela [00:28:18] What a weird backhanded compliment. 

Laci [00:28:20] And that kind of casual colorism is a part, is so deeply entrenched in my daily life that if I were to acknowledge every instance of it, I would. It’s just like James Baldwin said, you know, to be black and relatively conscious is to be angry, you know, basically all the time. That’s a little bit of a bastardization of that quote. But yeah, I would be angry all the time. I’d be upset. I’d be hurt all the time. So obviously I made it just a little joke, you know, earlier about it because I have to let it roll off. I mean, earlier this week, earlier last week, I was performing somewhere, and then afterwards we were talking about dating apps. And somebody was like, Oh, well, why aren’t you on this app? And I was like, I am, but it’s kind of racist I only see a certain type of people, other people I know who are on it see people I’ve never seen before, and. 

Jameela [00:29:03] Fuck me, I’ve never heard of that before.

Laci [00:29:05] Yeah, yeah, I’ll say it. It’s Raya. Raya is racist. I’ll say it. 

Jameela [00:29:11] So do you have to? Because I haven’t. Uh, I only went on dating apps for like one week because James broke up with me like seven years ago for about a week. So I immediately went on like Tinder and I met. I organized something like 17 dates in one week, which is really excessive, and I met all of them late morning and made the drink a coffee standing up outside a police station. 

Laci [00:29:34] You mind just taking a click my chat. 

Jameela [00:29:38] Amazingly, I didn’t get laid. Amazingly, that didn’t like start a vibe. Anyway, so I haven’t been because I’ve been with James for the whole of the rise of dating apps. Do you have to put your like, I don’t know, ethnic background into. Is that how the other algorithm can determine how to discriminate against you? 

Laci [00:29:59] I’m truly not sure what it is. I just know that it happens because I have friends who are white or light and they see people on the app that I never see and we live very, very close to each other. It’s just it’s a thing I know darker skinned actresses who I couldn’t get on the app because they and they were very famous, more famous than me, because they are plus size or whatever. It’s just a very discriminatory whatever. And it’s gotten less so, probably because they want money, but it sucks. But the point was I was having this conversation with another black comedian. My skin tone may be darker, actually, and they were like, Oh yeah, I see they’re like, Oh, I almost went on a date with Kesha. And we laughed and they were like, Oh yeah, I always do it blond, tall, white woman. I was like, Oh, is your profile set to Nordic or something? Joking. And he was like, Oh no, no, no, I date black women, like light skinned black woman. Like, I love them and I’m sitting here in all my darkness. And this is just and like conversation keeps moving. I don’t say anything about it. And then when he walks away, I tell my white girlfriend who didn’t clock it. Obviously, not to say that some people wouldn’t, but I tell her I was like, Did you hear that? And she was like, Oh my God, no. Like, I just registered. I was like yeah it happens literally all the time, like every single day. And it’s hard when black men do it because it’s like, Wow, like we know white people are going to like, hate us but like you look like me. Like, Bro, I could be your mom and you don’t like Dark-skinned women? Cool. 

Jameela [00:31:21] It’s such a fucking crazy thing to say, and it’s also like there are so many layers beyond just the color ism. It’s also like, Oh, do you think? Do you think Laci might be interested in you so quickly try to let her down? It’s like you fuckin wish. You fuckin wish that Laci was interested in you. You’re gorgeous. You are drop dead gorgeous. But do you know what I mean? That feeling of like, Oh yeah, I date this type of person that you are not so like, don’t bother trying. 

Laci [00:31:44] But why would you say that? I would never just casually say that to anyone, even if it were true. I just don’t think it’s necessary. 

Jameela [00:31:51] I only date tall people or only date. I don’t know. Oh God 

Laci [00:31:55] or in, you know, film and television. It’s reading roles and which a lot of times in movies where the men are protagonists. The role for the woman is already like so counterproductive. It’s usually either like she’s so supportive or she’s just a mad bitch who’s in the way with all of her thoughts and feelings you know what I mean like we’re 

Jameela [00:32:17] What you’re saying specifically for black women? 

Laci [00:32:18] I’m saying specifically for women in general. If you can find a meaty role as a support like woman in a piece, and there’s so many more now than there used to be. But you know, like there’s still those tropes, especially if the movie is centered around the man and whatever he’s doing. So I’ll read these roles and it’s like a supportive woman or whatever. I read one last week and I didn’t audition, and this is for a black producer that I’m not going to say, but is widely known colorist, and the role was to be the love interest. And I was like, There’s no way I’m Dark-skinned. I’m not like Hollywood thin, why would I waste my time even auditioning for this? You know? And it sucks to think that way. 

Jameela [00:32:56] And you didn’t, you take yourself out the game? 

Laci [00:32:58] Yeah. 

Jameela [00:33:00] That’s so frustrating because there’s like a part of me that I I mean, all of me agrees with you and understands where you’re coming from. But there’s a part of me that’s also just like, I hate it. I hate whenever we are defeated to the point that we don’t even put ourselves up for it like that is a real fuckery, isn’t it, of the power of the industry? Where they make us like, check ourselves out? It is so it is so infuriating. I kind of I ebb and flow through that. Like, there are things I used to take myself out for, but now I’m just like, Maybe they’ll change the role for me, which is extremely delusional because there are legit five South Asians in the whole of the Western media. But there’s just like a little part of me. I mean, right now I’m, you know, I’m doing a role that was intended for a blond white woman. So there is a chance. I do encourage people to if it doesn’t completely destroy your fucking soul and take up all of your time to try to push through. And Laci does unless you just did Lace you are doing. I mean, you have just completed a very cool support role for a woman where where the nuance has been kind of very intentionally poured into your character. And that’s an iCarly. 

Laci [00:34:11] Yes. Yes. And shout out to Franchesca Ramsey because she did so much work behind the scenes to make sure of that. 

Jameela [00:34:17] God I love her. 

Laci [00:34:17] I love her, too, to make sure that Harper was a fully realized human being and not just like a sassy supportive, you know, Negro sidekick. 

Jameela [00:34:25] My God. 

Laci [00:34:25] I mean you have to

Jameela [00:34:27] Hey call it what it is, you know, speak your fucking truth, I get it. But but even again, so you had that empowering role. You were great, by the way, and are great. And and so many people that I know just think you’re such an impressive performer, but you also got such an ama- like, I don’t always reach out to people when they’re in some sort of like Twitter controversy or something like that because I don’t want to. Sometimes it can make someone feel worse. If you text them as in like, Oh, God, makes you feel like, Oh God, everyone is seeing this. But it was so insane what happened when your part was even just announced, but also then aired regarding just quite extraordinary racism online. 

Laci [00:35:12] Yeah. And I do appreciate you reaching out, and it definitely didn’t feel like a pile on, especially because at that point I knew it was everywhere. That was bittersweet because I’ve had some work environments that were very, very hard as an actress, I’ve been sent to the hospital. I’ve had people touch me inappropriately, kiss me like,. 

Jameela [00:35:31] Oh my God. 

Laci [00:35:32] Just crazy things happen on set. 

Jameela [00:35:34] You got sent to the hospital?

Laci [00:35:35] I told the set that and I was number one on that call sheet. I told them that I was allergic to cedar trees and they gave like, I would have an asthma attack. They had me off camera on the reading lines to Ron Funches. I don’t care. I’ll say it. It’s not Ron’s fault, and I went to the I collapsed and I told them I would because I wasn’t, you know, a white woman. I wasn’t treated with care. I remember one time my first Ad tripped and broke his fall on me. On that same day. It was insane. It was insane. And I actually had some guy comedians come on who are dear friends of mine who were like, What is going on? And they started speaking up. They were like what the hell’s going on here. 

Jameela [00:36:08] Wow. 

Laci [00:36:08] But Anyway, so I had cra- and that’s just one set. I had prayed to God, and I had also made my boundaries very clear for myself. I was like, I don’t want another bad job. I don’t want to go to another job where I literally just feel like I want to die. I can’t eat shit anymore. And. And then I remember doing a I got the offer, no I got a test offer for iCarly, I never auditioned for it didn’t see the scripts, and then they were like, Oh, would you like to meet the showrunner? So I met with the showrunner Ali Schouten, and at the time, the same day we got on Zoom. And I asked her straight up, I was like, Are there any bad people over there? Like, I know I don’t have the job yet but like if there’s someone making the work environment miserable, if there’s someone who’s mistreating people, don’t, don’t. Even let’s not even do this audition because I promise you I will quit. I will cost you a lot of money. I don’t care what it costs. It’s not worth my peace. I’m not going back into another shitstorm. And she was like, she was completely candid with me, and I cannot say what those things were, but she gave me confidence enough to be like, OK, well, yeah, I’ll come in and I’ll read and I love the cast of wonderful people we’re friends. They’re amazing. I always felt welcome and not welcome like that fake welcome. Like, hey, like, no, they’re like, Oh, we all family like, like, there’s a real love there between all of us. So to go into a job like that where everyone is so nice and you’re working and you’re having a great time and you’re really excited. And we had a deadline come out announcing that Jaden and I had joined the show, but there were no pictures. And I got one DM like a Brazilian woman who looked black  calling me a nigger with a hard r. 

Jameela [00:37:41] Oh my God. 

Laci [00:37:42] And I was like, But she looked black and [unrecognized] we might be mm. And you know, I asked the wrong person. I asked Jerry Joyner, I was like, yo Jerry, are yall fans racist? And I think about it now and we laughed about it. But it’s like I just asked the tall white man with excellent hair if his fans were racist. What? How would he know that? How? He would’t. And to Jerry’s credit, when all of this stuff started happening with the racism, he was the one who reported it to the network. I was more in the headspace of, I guess, I’m just going to eat shit quietly. That was a real slap in the face because I was really happy at that job and to have the photos come out of us announcing the air date and then people who I do not call iCarly fans because I think the real fans are wonderful people and they’ve all been very kind to me. I think those are some assholes. But to have basically on every single platform, your younger sister, all of your family, seeing people just calling you the N-word and monkey in every spelling of the N-word, you can imagine. So even if I blocked it like there was other ways you know how many Diphthongs and other characters you can spot anywhere with? A lot. Who got creative, I was like, You all like Duolingo, huh? Cause, wow. 

Jameela [00:38:59] Yeah, yeah. 

Laci [00:39:01] But yeah, no it was hard. I actually had a panic attack at work, and I’ve never actually said this anywhere publicly and had to get oxygen. 

Jameela [00:39:10] Fuck me.

Laci [00:39:12] Yeah, that was after I turned off my phone. TMZ made it a lot worse. Thanks TMZ. They took a story off of my Instagram, which I did not realize was something that media outlets were following, and they posted it. And then that made everything worse. Than every news publication picked it up, and I was in a table read and my phone was exploding. And so I’m just trying to read my lines as a network I’m trying to get the jokes off and then afterwards, I’m like, It’s fine, I’ll just turn my phone off I’ll go to work. Thank God we had a black director there that week [unrecognized]. She’s fantastic because, yeah, I remember we were rehearsing. I didn’t have my phone on. I thought I felt fine. And then my chest got really tight and I kind of snuck off the sound stage. So I thought and one of the stand ins, Joe’s who’s great, he saw me and he was like, Something’s wrong with Laci and I was collapsed in front of the sound stage. I laugh because I’m uncomfortable and I was and the whole time, I’ve been so traumatized acting that I was like, I’m so sorry. I’ll be fine by lunch. Like, I’m apologizing while they like, take the golf cart to my trailer and they take my blood pressure and it’s really high and they give me oxygen. And I’m like laying on this couch, crying and apologizing, and I’m like, I’ll be fine after lunch. Like, I’m so sorry, and they were like can you please? I think it was Miranda who was like, Laci, please stop apologizing to us. This is fine. This is actually fine. 

Jameela [00:40:30] It was fucking mad to watch, and I’m so sorry that happened to you. And how is your mental health for that now? 

Laci [00:40:39] Oh, great. I mean, yeah, I have a I have a great therapist who’s a black woman and she has a lot of people in the entertainment industry, so she understands at the same time, she doesn’t watch TV. So she’s never like, Oh, I saw you last night, like, it’s very professional. And she’s a great outlet for talking about these frustrations. I will say that after I blocked all the slurs that I possibly could and the network put out a statement which was great, and so did the writers. It’s it slowed down like this when we dropped the season and air day April 8th for this season. It was overwhelmingly positive. And I remember the day that the first episode of the show came out the first season, I didn’t watch it. Stayed off Twitter and Francesca texted me at like 2:00 in the morning, she was like get on Twitter. I was like, Oh, girl, nah, I can’t take no more. She was like, No, it’s good. I would never tell you to get on Twitter for something bad. So I was like, OK, so I got on and I was trending. My character named Harper was trending, and it was just the nicest stuff and little black girls and little, you know, queer girls, you know, and girls of color like happy. And that was really vindicating. 

Jameela [00:41:54] That’s lovely, I got goose bumps that made me really happy. I’m really glad, I’m really glad and I and for however shit that is and that’s happened to me before when that pile on happened where everyone was accusing me of all kinds of shit and lying about being queer and having munchausen and all this dumb shit. I was on set at Legendary, and I had to go onto anti-anxiety medication very, very strong. The strongest anti-anxiety medication, which like pretty much knocked me out just to be able to survive most of the season. So then when the season fucking came out, people were just like, Why is she even there? She seems so checked out. I’m like, I was high I was high. I was I had to be high because you were all sending me death threats and I didn’t know how else to cope. 

Laci [00:42:40] I didn’t think you were. I thought you were very engaged. I enjoyed it. But I understand what you’re saying. that’s awful. 

Jameela [00:42:45] I got better with season 2 I wasn’t on drugs and nor in season three just I’m just currently shooting now, but I was on the strongest drugs to be able to just like be able to sit there because my panic attacks are so intense. I think people just don’t imagine when they’re writing. these, like really dehumanizing horrific things publicly to or about people in ways that even if they don’t write it to you, if it goes viral, it’s going to find you because other people snitch tag you in stuff. And they just don’t realize that what it’s like to try to continue to do your job through all of that when your job is to make people feel happy and make people feel escapism. How can you do that when you yourself feel like you can’t escape your own brain? It’s a really like, it’s a really weird, shitty time. And what I will say is that having come out of that now and I hate that I say this, but I now feel like I can handle anything and I feel stronger for it. And I now kind of feel like, Oh, I survived that and actually, they don’t have any power on me. And I wonder if you feel the same, it’s like, here you are. Season two Overwhelmingly Positive Career Flying Face Fantastic Life Got beautiful pink wall behind you. Like life aside from, you know, some things in your life that are being, you know, personal and difficult to figure out. Like generally, shit is carrying on in a way that, at least from the outside, seems overwhelmingly positive. And has there been anything like that that has come out of that moment for you that where it’s like, OK, I didn’t break. I can move forward with more confidence now. 

Laci [00:44:15] Yeah, I mean, one, I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I remember I didn’t know you at the time. I think I followed you on social, but I didn’t know you. But that was so awful. I do remember that time that was really awful. And yeah, I mean, people don’t realize that you are going to see that stuff, whether you’re looking for it or not. I think the thing that really hurt me was my family when when it started to reach my family, you know, my sister,. 

Jameela [00:44:37] Same with my brother. Yeah.

Laci [00:44:40] Then I was angry. It was hurt, but also rage. 

Jameela [00:44:45] I had to ask the woman who was instigating all of this stuff, in DM. I was like, Listen, I was like, I know I’m fair game because I’m a public figure, but please, can you stop making fun of my mom and my brother’s disability online? 

Laci [00:44:56] Yeah, that’s sick. 

Jameela [00:44:57] Insane that I had to say that to her. 

Laci [00:45:00] And then, you know, it’s clout chasing and people want attention and likes. And I think that’s a part of our culture now. But you’re talking to real people, and I always consider that I don’t even like critique art or anything that I see online period, unless it’s something harmful because I’m like, I’ve got a group chat for that. If I want to talk about an outfit that I don’t like or something I have a group chat for that, I’m not going to put that online where someone could potentially see it. I think that’s so messed up. But I will say that walking out of that entire situation one. Racism is old, is tired, is not new. Certainly not new to me, I’m from Texas. And honestly, it boosted my profile. I didn’t like that it overshadowed a lot of the hard work that I’ve done from being like, Oh, this is a new comedian to like this is the racism girl. That sucked when people recognize you because they’re like, Oh, yeah youre people were doing that racism to you. I would hope it was for like the podcast or jokes or a show that I was on.

Jameela [00:46:01] Well it is now. It is now. 

Laci [00:46:03] He was the Ruby Bridges of Paramount west. And I’m not that doesn’t have to discourage ruby who’s on Instagram. Oh, but you know, like, that’s not what I wanted to be known for. But I will say afterwards, I was like, Wow, OK, this is this is not going to faze me. You can say things behind your computer. And honestly, I have a lot of pity for the people who do this, these sorts of things because you have to be incredibly hurt individual to spend so much time trying to bring negativity in other people’s lives. Because I’ve just never seen somebody who was like happy and having the best day and out on the beach and they’re like, Oh, I got to go hate. 

Jameela [00:46:43] Yeah, no one, ever. Just no one ever just came. I feel like that is one of the ways in which I think about it and then go on Twitter and wrote something mean to someone else. You know what I mean? 

Laci [00:46:53] Right they’re not like in euphoria. And they’re like, wait a minute.

Jameela [00:46:55] there’s no there’s no dopamine involved. And I can say this is someone who has been a massive internet cunt, which we’ve spoken about many times on this and on this podcast. You know, I’ve been really, really snappy. And it’s often because I have been happy that wasn’t supposed to rhyme sorry. Anyway, and I like the fact that you talk about the I mean, I go through this like, you know, I do my own makeup on absolutely everything because I’m so sick of people still making me look lighter skinned than I am or trying to like just just or like trying to make my features look different or smaller. 

Laci [00:47:31] The contours. 

Jameela [00:47:33] Yeah or like or someone like trying to cover up my stretch marks that look like massive track marks up my breasts. Like, just just not asking me, and just like going with a sponge covered in make up to, like cover up my stretch marks on my breasts as if like, Oh, we mustn’t, no one should see those. I’m like, I walk around with these all day. Don’t make the decision for me that these are like, abhorrent and mustn’t be seen. Otherwise I break the fancy. So you’ve talked a lot about the lack of black representation behind the camera, especially for dark skinned performers. And I think, like I’d say every like regardless of, you know, how dark skinned or not, they are like every black friend of mine in this industry struggles. 

Laci [00:48:13] I think that’s an excellent point too. Obviously, on the colorist fashion like your fairer skinned than I am. But I think once you get to the point where there’s just like a little more than a tan melanin, then for some reason the expertize in these trained makeup artists just completely falls away. Now that’s a broad stroke I obviously have encountered nowadays more often, and that does also have to do with me requesting it. I meet and encounter makeup artists of all races who can do my makeup, but that certainly is not always the case. It’s certainly always a fear walking into every single set of every single like ever been on. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a set and not brought my makeup and all of my hair tools in my purse, except for a black [unrecognized]. 

Jameela [00:48:57] I have a little roll on suitcase that I bring with me ever this no confidence that I’m definitely going to be well represented.

Laci [00:49:05] I’ve been in a movie playing a bride. And I won’t say which movie, but you can figure it out where I have no makeup on and I am a bride and the I remember the makeup artist coming up to my face and he was like, You have beautiful skin. And if I hear that from a makeup artist is very like triggering for me, then like, wait a minute, where is this going? He was like, I don’t have to do anything to it. He put some setting powder on my face and gives me great lash mascara and sends me on my way. And I remember crying in my makeup, Charlie, because this is the first movie I’d ever done, and I was so excited and I had no makeup on. Which as an actor something is distracting because then you’re thinking about how you look instead of, you know, what you’re performing with, what you’re doing. And so I had to. There’s been too many sets, actually, and that’s what people don’t realize. I think a lot of people think that black folks and people of color want to complain because it’s fun. I think people think struggle and and marginalization is fun now. I think because we’re shining so much light on it, people think it’s a great way to get attention. And obviously these are people who are not melinated. But that’s not true. Like, I would so much rather go to a set and not be othered and start my day, not with racism. 

Jameela [00:50:18] Yeah and you’ve talked about the fact that you would like to get to the point where black people can get hired and it doesn’t feel like a political act where it’s just normal, it’s just normal. It’s just another casting announcement, and it’s not a big deal and we’re not reading a million things into it. 

Laci [00:50:33] Why is it called woke if I get a job? 

Jameela [00:50:33] I know, I know. All right. OK, now tell me the most beautiful parts of being a dark skinned women woman, being able to be that representation for like the kids that maybe like, you know, kids like you when you grow up not being able to see enough of that representation. 

Laci [00:50:52] Oh, absolutely. 

Jameela [00:50:53] I want to know that just like the joyous parts of what you love about this business and your place in it. 

Laci [00:51:00] The joyous part, and it’s hard because I’m very much a don’t read the comments person, but every now and then like, someone will screenshot something and send it to me or I’ll read, I’ll venture out and I’ll read some things. The best part 

Jameela [00:51:14] You’re doing it on the toilet little poogle. Call it that little poogle. sorry, go on. 

Laci [00:51:23] And that’s why you have to sanitize your phones, guys. People be taken them into the toilet. OK. 

Jameela [00:51:29] But you read the comments sometimes.  

Laci [00:51:32] Yeah. And the thing that’s really special. And I remember growing up as a kid, like I can remember, like all pretty much all the dark skinned black women that I saw on television, I remember. I’ve always loved Prince, and he used to have, like really beautiful dark skin dancers like backup dancers. You know, there are certain television that like, you know, I don’t know, grow up in the age of Good Times. But I very much remember Good Times because I grew up like hanging out with my grandparents a lot. So like, you know, the Evans, seeing a dark skinned black woman with short hair who’s like the matriarch of the family and like a star of the show, you know, shouts Norman Lear. You know, seeing black woman on television who were dark like me always made me feel like there was a possibility for me to do it, too. But beyond that you need to see yourself like people talk about representation, and I know when you hear the blanket phrase representation matters, it feels like, you know, something that we’re always saying. But it’s true because that’s what gives you the confidence to feel like you can take up space and let your thoughts and opinions matter. You never see yourself. You know, if you’re never the standard of beauty if every commercial is white women and light women, then you know that that’s hard on the self-esteem because you feel like you don’t exist. And so when I see black girls reach out and Sapphic Black Girls and they talk about my hair or the makeup that they put on me or the clothes that I wear, it’s really special because other people getting to have more like a better time than I did has always been something that I’ve strived for. So if I can make it better for other people and with the spaces more open for other people, we have a young black girl on our show, Jaden. And this is her first television show, like no series regular role, and her hair stylist is a black woman who can braid her hair, who could style her hair. She’s never had to worry about her hair not being done and done excellently by Cora. That’s an experience that I never had, you know? And so to see her start with that being her first experience, I’m like the standard that makes me so happy. So I’m like, Wow, likr, maybe we can change these things. And that goes for every aspect of life, not just entertainment. But yeah, I love being able to represent culturally for beautiful dark women. And at the same time, not be a monolith. I’ve played beautiful, dark skinned women who are birds like who are very dumb and silly. You know, I was in a refrigerator in Florida Girls like talking to a stain for like half of an episode, you know? But also, I’ve got to play, you know, moms who give birth. And you know, if you talk about the mortality rate with black women in hospitals and care like really bad. So being able to play lots of different Dark-skinned black women. And it’s a true honor. And it’s really nice when people reach out and say that they appreciate it. 

Jameela [00:54:33] And generally, what do you love about being a performer like, like if it’s possible to separate like any or all of all of that stuff that people impose onto you having to think about it generally as a performer? What do you love about it other than the fact that you enjoy yourself like literally just that. 

Laci [00:54:53] I love meeting people. That’s how I met you. You know, doing my podcast and like, love meeting wonderful people like you like that’s a huge blessing of being a performer, just like you’re kind of this transient who’s always like moving around and and meeting new people and having different, wildly different experiences. I love this is something that we’re working on personally, but I still love it as a performer. I can pretty much turn anything into comedy. Personally, I’m learning that  

Jameela [00:55:22] Very offensive, isn’t it?

Laci [00:55:27] I’m  learning that I hide behind comedy so as not to have to be vulnerable, which is not always great. But I was in the hospital on Thursday. I went to the E.R. and I have uterine fibroids. I had a procedure. It didn’t work out. I’m having surgery soon. Woot woot, like in two days. And when I was at the hospital, one I had to wait six hours. 

Jameela [00:55:51] Jesus Christ. 

Laci [00:55:52] So I’m sitting there with my homegirl and I was like, Oh, we were like they don’t got no celebrities. I hope I only got a few credits. How does Beyonce get in the hospital? I don’t need her door maybe a bodyguard door like you know, the healthcare system like God bless everybody in the hospital right now because they’re working their asses off. But, you know, it’s not like E.R., like Gray’s Anatomy when you see it and everyone’s like, stat stat! it’s like a lot of hardworking healthcare professionals trying to take care of people. But you know, we just started cracking jokes. I’m like, What if we leave? We go down to the corner and I call an ambulance and I have them take me and I start hollering, like, you know? And it was a serious situation like, I have to have surgery, but I can make comedy out of anything. And that’s something that I really love about being a performer and meeting people and hearing people laugh, which was hard during the pandemic because that was taken away. 

Jameela [00:56:42] Yeah. 

Laci [00:56:44] Hearing people laugh, because that’s a huge way that I’ve always felt connected to people. But when people like my comedy, for me, it’s not validating in the way of like, Ooh, I’m funny. For me, it’s validating like, wow, I have an experience and someone else can relate to that. And now I feel connected in that way to these people I don’t even know. 

Jameela [00:57:03] And what’s next for you? Like, I mean, you’ve conquered so many things already. What now are you going forward? And I do have something in your sights. Does this shit come by surprise like with me? Most of my in my career is, is a big surprise. And I never planned on it. I’m not prepared for it all the time. Do you have something in mind? 

Laci [00:57:24] Yeah, there is a lot of to your credit it’s just exactly what you just said, surprises that are happening to me right now. Surprise. Do you want to write a book? Oh, OK. Yes. You know, a lot of things like that I have a movie coming out on Netflix is the first movie that I’ve done on Netflix for Happy Madison. I love Adam Sandler’s company because he hires great people and they’re all just solid, good people who you have fun with. I’m excited for that. More potting, more TV shows in the works and hopefully selling my own. So that’s where we’re at, which is that’s that’s a whole feat of things that I don’t understand, and I won’t lie. I don’t like doing things that I don’t naturally already know and are good at. So it’s hard to branch off into new things, but it’s also very exciting. 

Jameela [00:58:12] It’s amazing. I can’t wait to watch all the things you’re going to go on and do. You’re such a special presence in this industry and someone who I I just I enjoy so much about what you do, and I love the way that you carry yourself through this industry, and I love that you sort of. In a way that I haven’t yet mastered managed to hold the industry’s feet to the fire, but with more dignity than I do, 

Laci [00:58:41] That’s not true. 

Jameela [00:58:41] It is true and it’s fine. It’s just who I am and the people people who listen to this know that about me. Deep down, I think they like it.

Laci [00:58:59] Oh my God. No you’re straight shooting.

Jameela [00:59:02] Anyway, thank you. Anyway. Before you go, I have to ask you, Laci, what do you weigh? 

Laci [00:59:09] Oh, OK. I weigh the conscious responsibility that I have for uplifting, marginalized communities. And that includes not just black people, black women, but people of color, people with different abilities, disabilities. It runs the gamut and sometimes I don’t understand how people are marginalized, but I still do my best to understand and to learn and to help however I can. I weigh, you know, loving to be a comedian, but also working to be a person who is fully engaged and vulnerable and not necessarily having to hide behind comedy. I weigh getting over a lot of really tough situations with racism. Unfortunately, in this body, I know that there the maybe the first few, but not the last, but that’s definitely something that I’m proud of. 

Jameela [01:00:09] Well, I’m very proud of you, and I hope everyone listens to this episode and then goes on to listen to your fantastic podcast and watch all of your big films and all of your TV shows that are coming out and read your book. Laci you’ve been a joy and thank you so much, and please come back some time. 

Laci [01:00:27] Yes. Thank you for having me. 

Jameela [01:00:31] Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. I Weigh with Jameela Jamil is produced and researched by myself, Jameela Jamil, Erin Finnigan and Kimmie Gregory. It is edited by Andrew Carson, and the beautiful music you are hearing now is made by my boyfriend, James Blake. If you haven’t already, please rate review and subscribe to the show. It’s a great way to show your support. We also have a bonus series exclusively on Stitcher Premium called Ask Jameela Anything. Check it out. You can get a free month Stitcher Premium by going Stitcher.com/premium and using the promo code, I Weigh. Lastly, over at I Weigh, we would love to hear from you and share what you weigh at the end of this podcast. You can leave us a voicemail at 1-818-660-5543 or email us what you weigh at Iweighpodcast@gmail.com. And now we would love to pass the mic to one of our fabulous listeners. 

Listener [01:01:23] I weigh my fear, my conscientious conscientiousness. I weigh the fact that I couldn’t really say conscientiousness quite right the first time. I weigh the voice that I use when I stand up for a client in the courtroom. I weigh the anxiety after and the worry that I said something wrong. I weigh my sense of humor and the number of times people have called me a dork lovingly. I weigh quiet nights with a book alone. I weigh a bunch of imperfections and the fact that sometimes I just can’t let go of something when I should. I weigh determination. I weigh social anxiety and my fear of being alone. I weigh good, deep, meaningful connections with friends and good deep, meaningful conversations where we talk about nothing for hours. I weigh my love of writing, but my fear of spelling. I weigh the fact that even as I write this, I’m not quite sure how to define myself and I weigh the fact that I’m working on it.