EP. 221 — Nicole Wants To Celebrate Valentine’s Day in August!

Sasheer [00:00:00] There’s no better way to experience Oregon than through the eyes of those who know it best. Oregon’s guides know the best secret spots and unique destinations, and some even have access to locations usually closed to the public. Plus, Oregon’s certified tour guides and outfitters provide safety gear and ensure you’re doing the activity safely. Find an incredible guide to experience for your needs and interests. Whether you’re into Singletrack mountain biking or need a wheelchair accessible tour. Visit travel Oregon dot com to find your perfect guide today. 

Nicole [00:00:31] The seasons are changing, so make sure your wardrobe is keeping up. Macy’s has everything you need to add to your style, not overpower it. We’re talking about their must-haves like flirty fall dresses, tall boots, or faux leather jackets that you can add to any of your favorite looks for a fresh take. Just check out macys.com/ownyourstyle to stay updated on all the ways to bring your vibe into the new season. Plus, shop the way you want. Pick it up in store, use curbside pickup, or order with same day delivery to make your life easier. Head on over to macys.com for more details. 

Sasheer [00:01:11] Hi, it’s me, Sasheer Zamata. And I have a stand-up special that is out right now. It’s called The First Woman, and it’s on the 800 Pound Gorilla website. You can go to 800poundgorillamedia.com, and it’s a pay what you can format/ donate whatever you want to watch the special. And then August 29th it comes out for free on YouTube. And please watch and laugh and share and then live life and prosper.

Nicole [00:01:44] If you want to see me live, I’m doing stand-up. September 15th. I’ll be at River City Casino in Saint Louis, Missouri. September 16th, I’ll be at the Pantages Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota. September 22nd. I’ll be at Meridian Hall in Toronto, Ontario. And September 29th, I’ll be at the Newmark Theater in Portland. And September 30th, I’ll be in a casino in Washington. And you can get all that at nicolebyerwastaken.com or just the little Linktree in my Instagram. 

Sasheer [00:02:29] Nicole!

Nicole [00:02:32] How are you today? 

Sasheer [00:02:34] I’m good. How are you? 

Nicole [00:02:37] I’m good. I feel rested. I’m a little nervous because Sunday is my first pole lesson in, like, almost a month. And I’m like, “Am I still strong?” 

Sasheer [00:02:53] Oh, yeah because I guess you’ve been gone. You’ve been gone for so long. 

Nicole [00:02:58] I am vacation. 

Sasheer [00:03:00] You are vacation.

Nicole [00:03:05] Yeah. And I’m like, “Oh my God. Do I still have strength?” 

Sasheer [00:03:09] I feel like a month is not so long that you forget everything, you know? 

Nicole [00:03:20] I really hope so. I’ll be so devastated if I can’t do the things I want to be able to do, you know? 

Sasheer [00:03:28] How often were you doing it before? 

Nicole [00:03:29] Like, twice a week. 

Sasheer [00:03:31] Twice a week. Okay, so that is, like, eight sessions that you have not had. 

Nicole [00:03:35] Yeah. Wow. Quick math. She went to a university. She’s got a degree. Got your degree, and you’re so smart. Oh boy. Oh boy. 

Sasheer [00:04:00] That’s exciting.

Nicole [00:04:01] Thank you. I’m excited about it. Do you have any hot plans this weekend? 

Sasheer [00:04:05] Oh, there’s a flea market. I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go. There’s a flea market. 

Nicole [00:04:09] What day? 

Sasheer [00:04:10] Saturday. Tomorrow. In the morning. 

Nicole [00:04:12] Where? 

Sasheer [00:04:14] In Frogtown. 

Nicole [00:04:15] Okay! I’ll go! 

Sasheer [00:04:18] Yes, let’s go! I think there’s multiple, like, estate sale flea market things happening, so there’s going to be a lot of stuff to look at. 

Nicole [00:04:28] Oh, I can’t wait. You know me. I love stuff. 

Sasheer [00:04:34] I also love stuff. I signed up for this mailing list. I have many estate sale mailing lists because when I moved into my house, I was, like, all over all of them. And they just email me every week, like, “We have an estate sale this Saturday. You should come.” And I really, truly don’t need anything else. I have filled my home. But I still haven’t unsubscribed because I’m like, “What if maybe one day I want to go? Maybe I need just one more piece of furniture.” But tomorrow I think I will probably mostly peruse. It’s still fun to just go. You know what I do need is wall art. I would like reasonably priced wall art. 

Nicole [00:05:19] I think that’s a good thing to get at an estate sale or a flea market because art is expensive. 

Sasheer [00:05:26] It’s expensive. Yeah. I don’t like it. I don’t like how expensive art is. Like, there’s been a couple of pieces that were, like, really big that I saw. And I would contact the artists and be like, “How much?” And they’d be like, “Thousands of dollars, please.” And I’m like, “Oh, that’s not how much I want to spend on just, like, something that’s going to sit there.” 

Nicole [00:05:47] Yeah. And it’s a funny thing because you’re like, “Oh, I do value your work and your time that you put in. I simply don’t want to pay that.” 

Sasheer [00:05:56] Yeah. That’s not how I want to spend my money. I will spend thousands of dollars on other things, but for some reason currently, I don’t want to spend that on art. 

Nicole [00:06:07] No, I get it. I got a reasonably priced piece, but I don’t think it’s your– It’s very colorful. I think her name is Ebony Boyd. Yeah. Ebony Boyd Art. She did a custom piece for me, and it’s delightful. And I remember it being rather reasonable. 

Sasheer [00:06:27] It’s nice. It’s very pretty. I like this. 

Nicole [00:06:29] Oh, you do? 

Sasheer [00:06:31] Like, I don’t know if I would have it in my home, but I do like it. 

Nicole [00:06:35] Okay. It’s very colorful. It’s very me. 

Sasheer [00:06:38] Yeah, it is very you. The words say, “Creative. Colorful. Musical. Beautiful. Abstract.” But it’s very you. 

Nicole [00:06:48] Yeah. And I’m very happy. I think I have two or three pieces by her. 

Sasheer [00:06:53] Oh, nice. 

Nicole [00:06:55] I guess you could say I’m somewhat of a connoisseur collector. 

Sasheer [00:06:59] Yes, I see. 

Nicole [00:07:02] That’s what I am. Thank you so much. 

Sasheer [00:07:04] And these prices are much more reasonable than other prices I have seen. 

Nicole [00:07:10] Yeah, she’s great. And it came very fast, and it comes framed. Sometimes you’ll buy art on the internet, and you won’t read the whole thing. And then you’ll get it, and you’re like, “Is this scroll? That’s the art I bought.” And you got to go frame it. Then you look dumb as fuck at a Michael’s. 

Sasheer [00:07:34] And framing is also expensive. 

Nicole [00:07:36] Ooh, child. 

Sasheer [00:07:39] I just got a poster, and I wanted to get it framed. I went to a nearby frame store, and it was, like, $400 for the frame. I guess it was also the services. But yeah, I was like, “What?” 

Nicole [00:07:50] Was there matting involved or just the frame? 

Sasheer [00:07:52] No! Not even matting. Just the frame. I guess it’s, like, the frame and the acrylic glass. And I guess that’s it. 

Nicole [00:08:06] They’re like, “It’s more for us to put the thing on the back to hang it!” 

Sasheer [00:08:09] Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. But also, I don’t want to buy a cheap frame because sometimes sunlight gets through it, and then it affects the picture. Yada, yada, yada. So, I do want to pay for good quality stuff, but also… $400?

Nicole [00:08:27] Yeah. My mom once spent a bunch of money framing a greeting card. And boy, oh boy, was my dad angry? 

Sasheer [00:08:34] Oh, yeah. Damn.

Nicole [00:08:36] He was like, “What? For a card?” And she was like, “I liked the card!” I still have it. And it makes me smile to look at. But yeah, being an adult is expensive. 

Sasheer [00:08:50] It’s expensive!

Nicole [00:08:51] And they don’t tell you. I feel like there should have been a class in school that was like, “Taxes. Art. All of it is gonna come out of your pocket. And it’s a lot.” 

Sasheer [00:09:01] And it’s a lot. Yes. They should have told you that.

Nicole [00:09:07] Hey I blame… somebody. I don’t know. 

Sasheer [00:09:12] You have to blame somebody. Who are you going to blame? 

Nicole [00:09:13] I don’t know. Obama? Thanks, Obama. I don’t know how to be an adult. 

Sasheer [00:09:20] Obama should’ve come to my house and taught me how to be an adult, even though I surely was an adult when he was in office. 

Nicole [00:09:27] I mean, where’s the service? Where’s the service of a president? Where did it go?

Sasheer [00:09:33] Where did it go? 

Nicole [00:09:35] I bought a hot pink jumpsuit, and I’m really excited to wear it because I also bought hot pink glasses. And I think I’ll wear it tonight, and I’m very excited about it. 

Sasheer [00:09:54] Oh, I can’t wait to see it. 

Nicole [00:09:56] She’s going to be styling. I did try it on, and I was like, “Wow. This makes my titties look even smaller.” Sometimes I’m, like, astounded by how small they can look in a thing. 

Sasheer [00:10:09] But that’s okay. 

Nicole [00:10:12] Yeah. I’ve learned to embrace my tiny titties. 

Sasheer [00:10:14] Yeah. No back problems. Well, at least not from the titties. 

Nicole [00:10:18] No, but from my fat ass, y’all. It’s tough to lug this shit around. 

Sasheer [00:10:24] She got that caboose. I don’t think I have a hot pink jumpsuit, but I have a red one that I bought with Des. Should I wear it tonight? Should we tell everyone to wear their favorite red or pink jumpsuits? 

Nicole [00:10:43] Yes. And when they go, “Are you celebrating something?” we should go, “Valentine’s Day! On Friday, August 18th, we are celebrating February 14th. Make that make sense, diva. Get me a drink!” And they’re gonna be like, “Ma’am, we can’t serve you. You are not okay.” 

Sasheer [00:11:04] Well, there was always, like, Christmas in July things happening, right? 

Nicole [00:11:08] Why does that happen? 

Sasheer [00:11:12] I don’t know. 

Nicole [00:11:15] Oh, those sad families where a divorce happened, and they’re just like, “Okay, we do Christmas in the summer when I have you during the summer.” 

Sasheer [00:11:22] Oh, I mean, that makes sense. I would have never guessed that. I don’t know. 

Nicole [00:11:29] I guess I shouldn’t say sad families. Happier families because they separate it from something that was not going well. 

Sasheer [00:11:36] Well, I’m a child of divorce. And I can say it wasn’t happy. 

Nicole [00:11:45] Ooh. “Christmas in July started 84 years ago on July 24th and 25th in 1933 at a girls camp called Keystone Camp in Brevard, North Carolina.” Interesting. 

Sasheer [00:11:58] Can you hit that link that’s like, “The Real Story Behind Christmas in July”? “Some people call it Half Christmas.” 

Nicole [00:12:06] Oh. Interesting. 

Sasheer [00:12:12] Country Living’s reporting, “it started right here in the South.” But, like, are they actually celebrating Christmas? 

Nicole [00:12:22] I think so. “I never thought it was unique to us,” Page Lemel, the current director of Keystone camp, said in an interview. “It seems like something other camps would do.” What? Why would you think that’s something other camps would do? 

Sasheer [00:12:38] Can you scroll down a bit more? Yeah. This is all about the camp. I want to know about people outside of the camp. 

Nicole [00:12:49] Yeah. When did it leave the camp and get into the zeitgeist?  But it started in 1933, and you know what that reminds me of? World War II. I went to the Anne Frank house when I was in Amsterdam. Have you been? 

Sasheer [00:13:03] I have not. No. 

Nicole [00:13:05] Okay. Sad vibes. 

Sasheer [00:13:08] I would imagine. 

Nicole [00:13:10] And, you know Hitler? Bad vibes. And I just kept thinking while I was there, “It is so beautiful that they turned this into a museum for people to see.” And it’s like, “Truly, never forget this fucking thing.” And then you can go to Auschwitz and, like, see it and be like, “Never forget.” And then in America you can have a wedding on a plantation. It’s so wild how differently countries recognize atrocity. Like, it blew my fucking minds, Sasheer. I was like, “This is wild.” 

Sasheer [00:13:46] Yeah, it does suck. We really don’t acknowledge as much of the bad, unsavory, uncomfortable history that happened in this country as other countries do. Yeah, when you go to Germany, it’s like, “They talk about it. They have monuments. They have museums. They’re like, ”Yeah, we were a part of some bad stuff. And we’ll never forget.” Yeah, yeah, you’re right. You can get married on a plantation in that one. 

Nicole [00:14:22] Airbnb had to, like, ask people to stop listing slave quarters as a place you can stay. Isn’t that wild?

Sasheer [00:14:30] Oh no. I didn’t know that. 

Nicole [00:14:33] Yeah, it was maybe a year or two ago. 

Sasheer [00:14:37] Were they, like, saying, “These are slave quarters?” Or they just were slave quarters, and they’re like, “Extra bedroom.” 

Nicole [00:14:43] They were slave quarters, and I believe it was like, “Stay in the slave quarters!”

Sasheer [00:14:48] Oh. 

Nicole [00:14:50] I think. Judith, do you mind looking it up? 

Judith [00:14:51] Yes. And also, according to this article about the first time that people celebrated Christmas in July, after the camp that we stated before, in Washington, D.C., a church started doing a summer donation drive in 1942 to send gifts overseas. And they called it their mission. So, it was, like, a Christmas in July to support the troops. 

Nicole [00:15:18] Well, we’re going to do Valentine’s Day in August, and it’s going to catch on. 

Sasheer [00:15:24] I believe. 

Nicole [00:15:26] Everyone’s going to be like, “Whoa! Good idea, ladies!”

Sasheer [00:15:28] I mean, yeah. Why not celebrate love more than one time? 

Nicole [00:15:37] Wow. 

Judith [00:15:38] And you’re right, Nicole. Basically, Airbnb says that it will no longer allow people to rent a house where enslaved peoples used to live. The new policy comes after the platform was widely criticized for an 1830 slave cabin listed on Airbnb, and it went viral on TikTok.

Nicole [00:16:00] Wild. Wild that it was allowed to be listed and they’re like, “All right, I guess people are mad about it.” What are you wearing on your body? What is that? 

Sasheer [00:16:16] It’s a sports bra. 

Nicole [00:16:19] No shirt? Belly out? Oh, wow. Scandalous in your home. 

Sasheer [00:16:26] Well, I worked out, so I came straight from the workout to do this record.

Nicole [00:16:32] Couldn’t even put on a shirt. You said, “I have to talk into a microphone now!”

Sasheer [00:16:37] But this is… I guess I feel comfortable just wearing these sports bras out because they do cover everything. 

Nicole [00:16:44] I mean, I’m just being a little jokester. 

Sasheer [00:16:48] Okay. 

Nicole [00:16:49] Sometimes I wear a sports bra out.

Sasheer [00:16:52] Yeah, right?

Nicole [00:16:56] Maybe I’ll wear a sports bra out. Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll do that today. 

Sasheer [00:17:03] It’s hot outside.

Nicole [00:17:06] It is so warm. Also, I’m nervous. A tropical storm is brewing. 

Sasheer [00:17:13] I haven’t seen. 

Nicole [00:17:14] You haven’t seen? Hilary’s coming. 

Sasheer [00:17:15] Oh no. It’s called “Hilary?”

Nicole [00:17:20] I know. She couldn’t be our president, but she can destroy a couple states. 

Sasheer [00:17:23] Who made that decision? That sucks. Now she is going to be the butt of a million jokes and means. Like, what? There’s so many other H names. That’s so rude. Hurricane Hilary? Man, leave that lady alone. She’s minding her business now. She’s not even, like, in the zeitgeist anymore. Give her a break.

Nicole [00:17:47] Imagine they named it Hurricane Hillary Clinton, and they’re like, “Yeah, it’s a coincidence. Don’t worry about it. We’re not implying anything.” 

Sasheer [00:17:56] For scientific reasons, we had to name it that. 

Nicole [00:18:01] I don’t know if we’re going to get as much rain. So, some places are going to get like a year’s worth of rain this weekend. 

Sasheer [00:18:07] Oh my God. 

Nicole [00:18:08] Or something wild. When does this episode come out? After Hurricane Hilary? 

Judith [00:18:13] Yeah, it should come out after Hurricane Hilary. 

Nicole [00:18:17] Uh oh. Well, let’s hope it wasn’t bad. Yeah. Oh boy. Oh boy. I’m tired. I don’t want hurricanes. I’m over COVID. Listen, I don’t want these things. I want sunshine, happiness, and more vacations. And I’m over the strike. Come on.

Sasheer [00:18:44] Come on. Just, like, give us what we want. 

Nicole [00:18:49] Give us what we want. Okay. Sasheer, what is the thing that you want bad right now? 

Sasheer [00:18:57] A shower because I didn’t shower after my workout. 

Nicole [00:19:05] Oh, she’s stinky? She’s a little ripe? 

Sasheer [00:19:08] I’m a little ripe, yeah. And I actually don’t sweat. But in this Pilates class, I did sweat. Even my knees were sweating. 

Nicole [00:19:18] That’s wild!

Sasheer [00:19:20] I know. We had to put our knees on the mat, and I was like, “Whoa! They’re wet.”

Nicole [00:19:27] There was a day on my vacation where it was so hot. Mano and I were… I might have said this on Why Won’t You Date Me? Whatever. Listen, I talk too much for a living. You’ll hear stories twice. This is also a witch story. I’m a witch. But we went to this beach in Paros–this beautiful island in Greece. And the cab driver dropped us off and was like, “Sit down there. Also, a cab won’t come get you. It’s too hard for our cars. Too much of a dirt road. Also, it might be a naptime time.” And we said okay and didn’t question “naptime.” We swam, had a nice time, had cocktails– And then we asked the guy working there, like, “How far away is a bus stop?” because we had to get back to the boat to go back to Mykonos. And he was like, “Oh, it’s a ten-minute walk.” And I said, “Okay.” And we you to realize that a ten-minute walk is further than you think. And it was, like, 102 degrees. It was the hottest day that we were there. And we were walking on this dirt road. I forgot to bring sneakers, so I was wearing flip flops. And we had our, like, towels on our heads because we were so hot. And I was getting more and more, like, just angry. And the back of my knees were sweating. Everything was sweating. I was just wet. And I said to Mano, “Doesn’t anyone hitchhike in Greece?” which is an insane thing to say out loud. And not 30 seconds later, a Volkswagen Golf was on the side of the road. And she was like, “Hey! Do you guys want a ride? Where are you going?” And we were like, “To a bus stop.” She’s like, “Yeah, but to where?” We’re like, “To get on the boat to go back to Mykonos.” And she’s like, “I’ll just take you.” And then she just took us. 

Sasheer [00:21:09] To the boat or to Mykonos? 

Nicole [00:21:10] All the way to the boat because it’s a little bit of a ride. You can’t drive to Mykonos. It’s a 45-minute boat ride. And I was like, “I did that.”

Sasheer [00:21:20] That’s so nice!

Nicole [00:21:22] It was so nice, but I manifested it. I was like, “It’s hot. I can’t do it.” 

Sasheer [00:21:27] She’s like, “I don’t know what just came over me, but all of a sudden I really want to give you guys a ride.” 

Nicole [00:21:32] Kind of. And there were other people walking as we drove by. And she didn’t stop for those. She stopped for us because I was like, “I must not walk anymore. It is too much. My feet hurt.” 

Sasheer [00:21:43] Well, we already said that your power of manifestation is very strong. 

Nicole [00:21:51] Yes. But it really only happens when I, like, absolutely need it.

Sasheer [00:21:56] Yeah. 

Nicole [00:21:57] It doesn’t happen when I’m like, “I want this.” It’s like, “You’ll get it eventually.” But when I make things happen instantly, it is because I’m like, “Ha!” 

Sasheer [00:22:06] Calling to the heavens. 

Nicole [00:22:12] Being like, “Give it to me, please!” 

Sasheer [00:22:14] That’s cool. Good job. 

Nicole [00:22:15] Thank you. 

Barilla [00:22:28] Barilla knows when your day goes a little like this… There’s nothing better than coming home to–

Husband [00:22:43] Hey, dinner’s almost ready.

Wife [00:22:46] Thank you. 

Barilla [00:22:47] Count on Barilla’s always perfect al dente pasta. And enjoy the recipe for togetherness. Since 1877, Barilla–a sign of love.

Realtor [00:22:59] Sergeant and Mr. Smith, you’re going to love this house. 

Woman [00:23:03] Bunk beds in a closet?

USAA [00:23:05] There’s no field manual for finding the right home. But when you do, USAA homeowner’s insurance can help protect it the right way. Restrictions apply.

Sasheer [00:23:17] Should we do a quiz? 

Nicole [00:23:19] Unless there’s something you want to tell me. 

Sasheer [00:23:24] You always say it, like, so suspicious. 

Nicole [00:23:27] I don’t know. Have you done stuff without me? 

Sasheer [00:23:29] Have I done stuff without you? No. Definitely not this week. No. We’ve spent a lot of time together this week. 

Nicole [00:23:37] We did. And it wasn’t enough! I want more. Let me drink you up. Guzzle, guzzle! Oh, okay. “Pick a Food in Every Color to Reveal Your Perfect Vacation Destination.” 

Sasheer [00:23:52] I like that. 

Nicole [00:23:54] Me too because I want more vacation. 

Sasheer [00:23:56] And food! 

Nicole [00:23:57] I love food. 

Sasheer [00:24:01] “Choose a red food.” 

Nicole [00:24:04] “Watermelon” is not red. 

Sasheer [00:24:07] What would you say? It’s, like, pink? 

Nicole [00:24:10] It’s watermelon colored. 

Sasheer [00:24:14] You’ve done this before, but you can’t just be like, “Watermelon color,” as if, like, that is the color of the rainbow or as if it’s a common color. 

Nicole [00:24:23] I think it’s a pink variant, which I guess is in the wheelhouse of red. 

Sasheer [00:24:28] Yeah. 

Nicole [00:24:30] “Spaghetti,” which is red. 

Sasheer [00:24:33] “Red velvet cupcakes.” 

Nicole [00:24:33] It’s in the name. 

Sasheer [00:24:36] Did we say, “Cherries”? Cherries, too. All right. Hmm. I would pick spaghetti because I love spaghetti. 

Nicole [00:24:45] I do like spaghetti. I love spaghetti the way my mom used to make spaghetti. 

Sasheer [00:24:51] How would she do it? 

Nicole [00:24:52] You know how a lot of people give you the noodles and then put the meat on top? She mixed the meat in, and for whatever reason, that’s, like, yummier for me. Watermelon is what I’m picking. Ooh, baby, I love watermelon. I think it’s my favorite fruit. 

Sasheer [00:25:11] It’s a really good one. 

Nicole [00:25:13] It’s so filling and refreshing. 

Sasheer [00:25:15] Great summer fruit. 

Nicole [00:25:18] Right by a beach or a pool–munch, munch. “Choose an orange–” 

Sasheer [00:25:22] Or a Valentine’s Day celebration. 

Nicole [00:25:26] Happy Valentine’s Day, Sasheer.

Sasheer [00:25:29] Happy Valentine’s Day, Nicole. 

Nicole [00:25:32] Now pick an orange food. 

Sasheer [00:25:34] “Orange chicken.” 

Nicole [00:25:36] “Mac and cheese?” Orange? 

Sasheer [00:25:38] What? Would you say it’s more, like, yellow? 

Nicole [00:25:41] Goldenrod. 

Sasheer [00:25:45] Yeah. 

Nicole [00:25:47] Which I guess is a variant of yellow and orange mixed together. All right, I’ll allow it. 

Sasheer [00:25:54] Yeah, I would say it’s more yellow than orange… Or goldenrod. Yes. “Cheesy puffs.” 

Nicole [00:26:04] “Mango.” 

Sasheer [00:26:10] I’m going to say mango. 

Nicole [00:26:12] I’m going to say mac and cheese, even though that depiction is not good looking. It’s clearly not baked. It looks disgusting. I’m not a Kraft girl. You better bake my mac and cheese and give me a crunchy fucking top. 

Sasheer [00:26:28] “You better bake my mac and cheese.” Okay, now we’re at yellow. “Pick a yellow food.” 

Nicole [00:26:37] “Pineapple.” 

Sasheer [00:26:38] “French fries.” 

Nicole [00:26:39] “Corn.” 

Sasheer [00:26:43] Um… 

Judith [00:26:44] It looks like eggs. They did not put a label on that. 

Sasheer [00:26:48] Yeah, why? There’s no label. Well, I guess it’s scrambled eggs, even though it looks like there’s some, like, chunks in there. I don’t understand. 

Nicole [00:26:56] It looks like a soft scramble over rice. Have you ever had a soft scramble? It’s bewildering. 

Sasheer [00:27:04] I have had a soft scrabble. 

Nicole [00:27:06] Befuddling. Like, a real soft scramble? The one that you stir the whole time it’s cooking? 

Sasheer [00:27:13] I’ve never seen anyone prepare a soft scramble, but I know I’ve eaten it. 

Nicole [00:27:17] Oh, okay. 

Sasheer [00:27:21] Wait. Are you for it or against it? 

Nicole [00:27:23] I don’t know. It is a wild texture and consistency–one that I’m like, “Oh, what?” But there’s this place in New York in the Lower East Side that does a soft scramble that is… Oh! Amazing. And they do it, so it looks like a fucking flower. Can you even? 

Sasheer [00:27:40] Oh, that’s nice. 

Nicole [00:27:44] I wish I could remember the name. They’re really nice to me there. 

Sasheer [00:27:47] That’s nice. 

Nicole [00:27:50] You know I got to pick french fries. 

Sasheer [00:27:52] Yeah. I’m going to say pineapple. 

Nicole [00:27:55] Oooh! Yes, bitch. She’s tropical! I’m trying to fuck around with pineapple. 

Sasheer [00:28:02] They’re always very sweet. 

Nicole [00:28:04] It is sweet. And I don’t usually like the flavor of a pineapple, but I’m trying to get more into it because it makes your pussy taste better. And I’m getting ready for love to come in my life. And when it comes, I want my pussy to taste good for them. 

Sasheer [00:28:17] That’s smart. 

Nicole [00:28:18] And it’s also kind and giving, and I need them to know that. 

Sasheer [00:28:22] Kind and giving. Yeah. Like, “This tastes kind and giving.” 

Nicole [00:28:30] And I’ll look up. I’ll sit up and go, “Yeah! That’s who I am! Kind and giving!” 

Sasheer [00:28:34] Does cranberry juice do that, too? 

Nicole [00:28:41] I think you’re supposed to drink it, so you don’t get yeasties or, like, a UTI– Oh, it’s UTI. 

Sasheer [00:28:50] Okay. Well, yeah. Also good. “Choose a green food.” 

Nicole [00:28:56] “Key lime pie.” 

Sasheer [00:28:58] “Kale salad.” 

Nicole [00:28:59] “Broccoli.” 

Sasheer [00:29:02] “Guacamole and chips.” 

Nicole [00:29:05] I’m going to pick guacamole and chips. 

Sasheer [00:29:10] Yeah. I’m going to pick a kale salad. 

Nicole [00:29:12] Ooh, look. She is tropical and healthy. 

Sasheer [00:29:19] Yeah, I don’t really like salad, but if I get a salad, I’ll eat a kale salad because I want it to have all the nutrients possible. I don’t want to waste my time eating a salad if I’m not going to get the benefits of being healthy. 

Nicole [00:29:32] You’re not out here trying to eat iceberg lettuce? 

Sasheer [00:29:35] No!

Nicole [00:29:36] Iceberg lettuce is nasty. 

Sasheer [00:29:38] Or romaine. Don’t give me that. 

Nicole [00:29:40] Oh! I do like a romaine, though. 

Sasheer [00:29:41] I don’t like romaine. 

Nicole [00:29:44] Soft, gentle romaine. 

Sasheer [00:29:49] That don’t romaine in the bag. 

Nicole [00:29:50] Wow. Go home! You are home. Go to a different room! We have to stop this recording! I like a butter lettuce as well. 

Sasheer [00:30:03] I mean, I’ll eat a butter lettuce. 

Nicole [00:30:05] But you really just fuck with kale. 

Sasheer [00:30:08] Really, kale and spinach. The darker greens. I do like arugula salad. 

Nicole [00:30:14] Oh, I love arugula. It’s kind of spicy. 

Sasheer [00:30:19] “Choose a blue food.” 

Nicole [00:30:20] “Blueberries.” 

Sasheer [00:30:20] “Galaxy Cupcakes?” 

Nicole [00:30:24] “Blueberry pie.” 

Sasheer [00:30:28] “Berry Popsicle.” 

Nicole [00:30:31] That’s the wildest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life. BuzzFeed found a picture of blueberries encased in blue water? 

Sasheer [00:30:39] Yeah, they’re frozen. The blueberries were frozen in a popsicle. 

Nicole [00:30:47] I’d be so mad if someone served that to me and told me to eat it. I’d say, “What do you want me to do with this? Suck on it till there’s something hard to eat?” 

Sasheer [00:30:55] I think that’s it. Yeah. 

Nicole [00:30:56] That’s not a popsicle.

Sasheer [00:31:00] I mean, technically…

Nicole [00:31:03] It’s not a popsicle. I don’t recognize that as an official popsicle. 

Sasheer [00:31:06] Not my popsicle. 

Nicole [00:31:07] Not my popsicle. 

Sasheer [00:31:09] Well, what do you recognize as a popsicle? 

Nicole [00:31:13] Like, just a normal fucking popsicle by the brand Popsicle. 

Sasheer [00:31:19] There’s a brand called Popsicle? 

Nicole [00:31:22] I’m 99% sure I’m not lying about that. 

Sasheer [00:31:24] Oh. 

Nicole [00:31:25] It’s got a fun logo. Popsicle!

Sasheer [00:31:30] I thought a popsicle was that thing. 

Nicole [00:31:34] No. It’s like a Kleenex box. A Kleenex is a tissue. And Kleenex fucking ripped open that market. You know, “I need a Kleenex. I need a Popsicle.” I don’t know what a Popsicle is. 

Sasheer [00:31:48] Yeah, what would you call it otherwise? 

Nicole [00:31:51] Ice pop? 

Sasheer [00:31:53] Oh. Interesting. 

Jordan [00:31:54] I know in the UK, they call it an “ice lolly.”

Sasheer [00:31:59] Oh no. 

Nicole [00:32:01] Those idiots. “Can I have an ice lolly?” It’s pretty funny. I might start calling them that. Well, I can’t pick blueberries; I simply don’t like them. I can’t pick blueberry pie; I simply don’t like it. And I’m not picking a blueberry popsicle because I don’t recognize that as a popsicle. So, I’m going to say Galaxy Cupcakes. 

Sasheer [00:32:27] I’m also going to do Galaxy Cupcakes. They look very tasty. 

Nicole [00:32:30] And I really like a cupcake because it’s a small cake. 

Sasheer [00:32:35] And that’s what I like about it. 

Nicole [00:32:37] Because sometimes a big honkin’ piece of cake is too much for you. “Choose a purple food.” 

Sasheer [00:32:46] “Unicorn donuts.” 

Nicole [00:32:48] “Blackberries.”

Sasheer [00:32:50] “Figs.”

Nicole [00:32:51] “Grapes.” 

Sasheer [00:32:55] I love a grape.

Nicole [00:32:58] That’s what I’m also going to pick. I also love a grape. And I can’t pick a unicorn donut because I already picked a Galaxy Cupcake. And I don’t need sweet, sweet. And those look squishy. And I like a cake donut. 

Sasheer [00:33:13] Okay. I was going to say a unicorn donut is your brand. 

Nicole [00:33:18] It does seem to be on brand for me. I’m just not clear on the density of the donut. 

Sasheer [00:33:26] Yeah. I get that. “Lastly, choose a pink food.” 

Nicole [00:33:33] “Rose macarons.” 

Sasheer [00:33:35] “Strawberry frosted cupcakes” even though that’s a picture of donuts. I’m mad. I’m furious. How are you going to tell me that’s cupcakes and there’s a donut? 

Nicole [00:33:44] Wow. They’re really trying to… BuzzFeed is trying to gaslight you. 

Sasheer [00:33:48] I don’t like this. 

Nicole [00:33:49] I don’t like it either. “Strawberry lollipop.” 

Sasheer [00:33:51] “Strawberry ice cream.”

Nicole [00:33:57] I do love ice cream. I almost cried when I couldn’t get soft serve the other day. I’m going to pick strawberry. I also was so annoying. I kept going up to them, being like, “Is it…? Did you fix it? Is this fixed?” Never got fixed. 

Sasheer [00:34:14] I don’t think I saw you go back up there. 

Nicole [00:34:16] I went up there, well, the first time, the second time, and I think I went up a third time back from the bathroom. 

Sasheer [00:34:21] “It really won’t work today.” 

Nicole [00:34:23] Yeah. They’re like, “Ma’am, you have to go.” 

Sasheer [00:34:29] Well, if those cupcakes are in fact the donuts that are in the picture, I would pick those because they do look tasty. 

Nicole [00:34:38] They do look tasty. But again, not sure about the density. 

Judith [00:34:43] This is Sasheer’s response or answer. 

Sasheer [00:34:47] “Ireland! You need to go to Ireland. There are tons of cool museums to explore and pubs to visit. It’s also one of the most beautiful countries in the world!” Okay. 

Nicole [00:34:56] I would go with you. 

Sasheer [00:34:59] Okay, let’s go. 

Nicole [00:35:00] Because I need to find Domhnall Gleeson. “Greece?”

Sasheer [00:35:05] You were just there! 

Nicole [00:35:07] I was just fucking there. “You should go to Greece.” I do want to go back. “You can visit historical sites and relax on the beach. There’s also tons of delicious food.” I ate so many gyros. They were so delicious. 

Sasheer [00:35:18] Look at that. 

Nicole [00:35:21] Wow. I like BuzzFeed today. 

Sasheer [00:35:25] I have been to Ireland. I went to Dublin for a comedy festival. And I didn’t love it. But I was only in Dublin. Maybe we’ll go to these mountainous places in Ireland. 

Nicole [00:35:39] We don’t have to go. We can go somewhere else. BuzzFeed doesn’t rule our lives. 

Sasheer [00:35:44] No, I absolutely would– I have heard there is, like, beautiful drives, beautiful, like, mountains and stuff like that to look at. I would go see that stuff. But something about Dublin–it just felt like… I think maybe it’s because we just went to bars, and they drink a lot. And I was like, “I don’t want to get messy. Everyone’s messy here.” And there are parts of Dublin that are beautiful and wonderful. And I didn’t see them. But I had only a fine time there. 

Nicole [00:36:12] Okay. Alright.

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Sasheer [00:37:29] Should we answer some queries? 

Nicole [00:37:32] I think that’s what we have to do. 

Sasheer [00:37:36] Then let’s do it. 

Nicole [00:37:38] Yeah. Yeah. 

Caller [00:37:41] Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. This is a really nice lady here in San Francisco. And I have this weird predicament where I became really, really close friends with my neighbor during the pandemic. And, I mean, we would spend time together all the time. We’d, like, walk around laughing like hyenas on our lunch breaks. And, like, really, we got along so well. We are very opposite of each other. She is, like, much more measured in her decision-making and, like, gives herself time to heal after relationships. I’m more of, like, kind of like, “I’ll get over it by jumping off a cliff” type of thing and, like, trying new things all the time. And I don’t really let stuff slow me down whenever I’m upset by something. I kind of move on quickly. But maybe a month ago, we were on a walk, and she was very short with me and, like, not really responding. And so, after I was like, “Hey, did I do something to, you know, hurt you or hurt your feelings? Like, are you upset with me?” And she was very short with me and was just like, “No. And if it bothers you, like, we don’t need to hang out.” And I was like, “Well, you know, I don’t mean it like that. Like, obviously I’ll make space for you. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something I did, you know?” But ever since then, like, I can’t really get a hold of her. I’ve tried to reach out a couple of times, and I’ve seen her out. And because we live in the same building, I pass her all the time and she just gives me the mean mug. And I have literally no idea how to approach this subject. I mean, obviously I’m trying to give her space, but, you know, I miss my friend. I can tell she’s hurting, and I have no idea how to help. And it seems like she doesn’t want my help. And, you know, it would help me a lot if you could give me some insight into whatever you think. Anyway, I love you both so, so, so, so much. And, yeah, thank you so much for listening. Thanks. Bye. 

Sasheer [00:39:55] I think you can say what you told us. Like, “I miss you.” Maybe just send a text like, “I miss you. I miss our walks. And I can tell something is off. Let me know if you want to talk about it.” See if she responds to that. 

Nicole [00:40:17] Yeah, I think that’s good. I don’t really have anything else to add other than, like, just talk. 

Sasheer [00:40:25] Yeah, which sucks because, like, she did already say… Or I guess I guess the question when they were on their walk was more like, “Did I do something?” But she also was like, “I want to give you space to say how you’re feeling if you are feeling something.” But then she didn’t. It’s hard because you don’t know what’s happening. 

Nicole [00:40:53] I will say I do think it’s more of a them problem than you problem. Like, something might be going on with them, but they don’t know how to tell you about it. I don’t know. It’s a little tough because they’re not, like, close close. They just got closer during the pandemic. 

Sasheer [00:41:14] Yeah. 

Nicole [00:41:16] And what did she say? 

Sasheer [00:41:18] Maybe she’s taking a walk with somebody else. 

Nicole [00:41:19] Oh. A little cheat happening. 

Sasheer [00:41:26] Some walking infidelity. 

Nicole [00:41:29] Oh no. 

Sasheer [00:41:32] Yeah. I mean, I think if you really miss this person, I do think reaching out would help. And being like, “Hey, I’m noticing the energy has shifted. Can we talk about it?” And hopefully your friend will. 

Nicole [00:41:52] Yeah. Solved.? I don’t know. This one was tough for me. 

Sasheer [00:41:56] Yeah. I mean, there’s just, like, very little detail, which I’m sure is also frustrating this person who called in. But I think basically all you could do is ask what’s up? And then either you’ll get an answer, or maybe the person will not respond. And then I guess maybe you at least have the answer of, like, “Oh, I guess we’re not friends. Maybe they have ex-communicated themselves from my life.” 

Nicole [00:42:19] Yeah. How weird. 

Sasheer [00:42:23] All right, let’s do another one. 

Nicole [00:42:26] Okay. “Hey, Nicole, Sasheer, Kimmie, Jordan, and Judith. Thank you for making this hilarious podcast that I look forward to every week. I especially loved the Bahamas episode. And I selfishly hope that you two go on another terrible vacation together just so I can hear about it. I’m having an issue with my friend. She’s my oldest friend. We’ve been friends since kindergarten, and our families are also friendly with each other. Five years ago, she moved away from our hometown with her husband and now visits only once or twice a year. And when she’s back in town, she is trying to visit all of her family as well. So needless to say, we haven’t seen much of each other lately. Here’s the issue. Whenever we get together, I feel like she doesn’t really ever ask me about myself or how I’m doing. She has ADHD, and sometimes when we get together, I feel like the whole conversation is about her or whatever’s on her mind, and I come away from the interaction feeling drained and a little bit annoyed.” 

Sasheer [00:43:19] “She will go on and on about pretty much any random thing that pops into her head. Last week she was talking about a plane crash that happened in the ’80s but not ask about my day. Nicole, I know that you’re really open about your ADHD on the podcast, so I was wondering if you have any experience with this or any specific advice. I know she doesn’t mean to do it, but I also have plenty of friends with ADHD who are easy to have conversations with. I don’t want to make her feel guilty or ashamed, and I’m also aware that this might be her personality. And it won’t really change her behavior if I point it out. And I only really spend time with her once or twice a year anyway. So, I guess my question is: Is it worth it to bring up with my friend and see if anything will change? How do I do it in a way that won’t make her self-conscious about her ADHD? Or should I let it go and accept that this is what spending time with my friend is going to be like and just love and accept her anyway. Thank you for your help.”

Nicole [00:44:18] I medicate it so I feel I could be wrong. But I feel like I’m pretty good at going back and forth on, like, myself and letting other people have the floor. But I don’t think I would mind if someone said, “Hey. Can I talk to you about a couple of things that are going on in my life, like, if you’re done…?” No, not “if you’re done.” But yeah, just, like, “Oh, is there any space?” 

Sasheer [00:44:47] “Are you done? Are you finished? Are you gonna wrap this up so I can start talking now?”

Nicole [00:44:59] “Is there room so I can talk a little bit about what I’m going through?” I don’t know. Do you know what I’m trying to say? 

Sasheer [00:45:07] I think I do. I think there’s nothing wrong with being like, “I have a couple things I want to talk about. Can we cover that during dinner or whatever?” You could do that before you meet up. Be like, “Hey, I’m so excited to see you tonight. You know, heads up. There’s, like, a couple of updates I want to give you while we’re eating or something.” So at least they know, “Oh, there are things that you want to say before you get there.” This also might be this person’s personality because maybe it’s an ADHD thing. I will say you, Nicole, before you were on medication, were really good about asking what’s up with me. Like, I don’t actually remember this as a trait of you not caring or not asking about what I was up to. And I can’t really think about that being a thing with the other people in my life who I’m close with who have ADHD. I can actually think of people who don’t have ADHD who don’t ask me questions at all. So, I think that also might just be their thing. So, I don’t think you have to worry about, you know, like, making sure you don’t make this person feel self-conscious about their ADHD because I don’t think that’s the problem. The problem is they’re the type of person that won’t stop for a minute and be like, “Hey, friend. How are you? Now, I would love to get some information on what’s going on in your life,” which may be addressing… I can’t tell because you don’t want to make them feel bad. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. But if you only see this person a couple times a year and they were one of your best friends, it might be worth saying, “I love hanging out with you. I love seeing you. But I don’t feel like we get a full catch up when I do see you because we’re talking about airplane crashes from the ’80s and other random stuff.” Yeah, I think it’s worth a talk. And I think it can be more in the vein of “I miss you. I love you. I really want to have conversations where we connect because we get so little time together when you actually come to town. So…” I’m trying to think of, like, an active request. But I don’t want to be like, “Could you focus up?” Yeah, maybe just “I just feel like when we hang out, we don’t spend enough time talking about each other or, like, giving each other updates. I would love for our conversation to be more personal when we do hang out because we don’t see each other all the time.” Does that sound good? 

Nicole [00:48:16] I think so. Also, I’m like, “Maybe you start the conversation by being like, ‘Hey, before we really get into it, can I just give you a little update on my life?’” So, you not, like, force your way in but kind of force your way in. 

Sasheer [00:48:33] Yeah, that’s a good idea because then after the updates have been updated, this person can go off on as many tangents as they want if that feels good still. But, yeah, maybe, like, do try to squeeze in your updates at the top of the conversation, and see if that feels good. Jordan and Judith, do you have any ideas? 

Jordan [00:49:02] I have, like, one idea. But what I can say is that I’ve been through a similar thing, where I have a close friend and she doesn’t really talk to any of our other friends. They kind of had, like, a falling out. So, like, I’m typically the one who will come back into town once or twice a year. And she kind of unloads off of me because I also know that she doesn’t really–other than her therapist or family–talk to other people. So, I have had moments where I didn’t take it to heart because I knew that she needed to vent. But there have been, like, dinners or other things where it’ll be an hour in and she’ll finally be like, “I’m so sorry. Like, how are you doing?” And, like, she will catch herself. But there are plenty of times where, like, she doesn’t. And before the dinner’s done, I’m like, “Okay, cool. Nice seeing you all. See you in, like, another six months.” But I’m also the type of person who, like, my friends–I’m very close with. And I can be very blunt or like, “Hey. Just so you know, like, you haven’t asked me about myself. Not that that’s the game plan for the night. But just so you know, you’ve just been talking for an hour, and I haven’t been able to say anything. And I love you. And I want you to, like, vent to me–that’s how our friendship is–but, like, I also need to vent. If you could give me that time and that space, that would be great.” 

Sasheer [00:50:28] Yeah. 

Judith [00:50:30] Yeah, I agree with Jordan. I mean, my friendships are very therapy. So, we’re like, ‘Do you have space? Do you have time?” Like, we’re very over considerate of each other being present. But one thing that I do like to do with my very close friends is a random text like, “I got hot tea for you. Can’t wait to update you. I got something.” You know what I mean? So, it’s like, “Okay.” So, they come to the conversation ready to be like, “Give me the tea! What’s good?” I’ll be like, “I need to vent. Can I have your time later?” They’ll be like, “Oh my God yes. What happened?” I’m like, “I’m gonna tell you later.” 

Nicole [00:51:04] I like that. 

Sasheer [00:51:06] Yeah, yeah. Tease them. Give them a little carrot, so they’re dying for something later. 

Nicole [00:51:15] Yeah, I like that. I think that’s good.

Sasheer [00:51:18] Okay. Solved! 

Nicole [00:51:21] Solved! Well, that’s it for us. If you would like your queries answered, nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com. Or you can call, text, or leave a voicemail. 424-645-7003. 

Sasheer [00:51:34] We also have merch at podswag.com/bestfriends. 

Nicole [00:51:38] And we have transcripts of our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. 

Sasheer [00:51:41] Lastly, don’t forget to review and subscribe. That’s the easiest way to support this show. 

Nicole [00:51:50] Okay! Bye! 

Sasheer [00:51:53] Okay, bye, Nicole! 

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