EP. 375.5 — Last Looks: Expend4bles w/ Jack McBrayer & David Wain

[00:00:00] Paul Scheer: Stallone calls Jack McBrayer visits, and we give Charisma Carpenter a little bit of justice. All this and more on today’s Last Looks. Hit the theme.

[00:00:15] Music: [Last Looks Intro Song]

[00:00:17] Paul Scheer: Hello all you Salesforce employees, and we still don’t know what your company does. But we appreciate you nonetheless. I am your men’s studies class professor Paul Scheer, and welcome to How Did This Get Made Last Looks, where you, the listener, get to voice your issues on Expendables four. A movie that Discord user, Corgi Herder thinks should have had the tagline,

[00:00:40] “Expendables 4: Covering more senior citizens health insurance through SAG AFTRA than the VA.”

[00:00:46] Thank you Corgi Herder for that. That’s pretty good.

[00:00:49] Uh, alt movie tagline, and a big shout out to John Cohen for his Stallone summer opening song. Uh, I know John, you’ve separated from your brother, and no longer are you the Cohen brothers, so I really appreciate this solo song on your own behalf. Uh, remember if you have an alt movie tagline or title, submit it to us on our discord at Discord.gg/HDTGM, and if you have a Last Looks theme, you know, maybe an episode theme song, you can go to H-D-T-G-M and click on submit a song right there. Just click right there and you can just upload your song to our Dropbox. Keep ’em short. 15 to 20 seconds is best. Now coming up on today’s episode, we’ll be hearing all your corrections and omissions on Expendables 4 and I’ll be playing an exclusive deleted scene from the episode.

[00:01:38] That’s right, more content. Plus I’ll be sharing more of my lost Sylvester Stallone podcast featuring guests like Jack McBrayer, David Wayne. Even my own mom. Uh, and as always, at the end of the show, I will reveal the movie for next week’s episode. Just a heads up on August 8th. You can catch June on the big screen in both Freakier Friday and Weapons.

[00:02:04] So get your butts to the movie theater, uh, Weapons is fantastic. You will love it. I also wanna give a shout out to, uh, my friends who made The Naked Gun. It is very, very funny. Apparently, according to Rotten Tomatoes, this is the best reviewed comedy or second best reviewed comedy in over a decade. So get yourself to the movies people.

[00:02:31] Uh, every Monday, The Dark Web is on YouTube. Absolutely for free me, Rob Huebel, And this week we, uh, talked about a cowboy who likes to, um, give you sex tips. Pretty great. Anyway. Our amazing movie producer, Avaryll Halley, uh, is on the road to recovery with her brain cancer, the love, the outpouring of just support that you have given her through, uh, snail mail at PO Box 6 4 1, Agora Hills, California, 9 1 3 7 6 or through email at Andrew@MovieBitches.xyz has been amazing. If you want to keep it going, she loves it. We love it. I just wanna thank you all for doing that for her, and it’s just amazing that her prognosis has been getting, uh, so much better, um, as we get into it. I want to just remind you that today we are going to figure out Expendables 4. If you left with any questions, don’t worry because by the end of this episode you’ll be like, Paul, I know what’s up, and you know what?

[00:03:33] Let’s start it right now with a little corrections and omissions.

[00:03:36] Music: [Corrections and Omissions Song]

[00:04:01] Paul Scheer: Thank you. Anyhow Blues for that theme song. Let’s go to the Discord. Sean McBee, what do you got? Well, I’m gonna read it.

[00:04:08] ” I think my biggest issue with this movie, other than every single minute of it being the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, is that the bad guy’s plan hinges on capturing everyone and then convincing the government to do a prisoner exchange to save the team called the Expendables.”

[00:04:27] Well, I don’t know if their government calls ’em that.

[00:04:29] ” Temu Judy Dench should have said they’re called the expendables for a reason, asshole. But no, this is a world in which she had to send a memo requesting a prisoner exchange for a team explicitly used for their expendability.”

[00:04:45] Now, Sean, I don’t wanna get into the nitty gritty. I don’t believe they are called the Expendables. Like, I don’t know if they like go to the Expendables headquarters. I think that they just put, they’re mercenaries, right? They, you know, I, I hear what you’re saying, like, I don’t think that anyone in this world is saying Get your team of expendables. But you know what, as I say that, it probably is a line that there is in the movie.

[00:05:11] So you know what? You’re right. Dr. Guts 1003 writes,

[00:05:13] “Why is a popular social media influencer putting an ad in a newspaper to find a new bodyguard?”

[00:05:20] Dr. Guts, that’s old man Logic for you. That is some Stallone logic. Okay. I think he’s still writing movies that take place in the early eighties.

[00:05:32] Um, Arkham Player writes,

[00:05:34] “Did anyone see the photo in Statham’s locker of him and Megan Fox? His facial hair is hilarious considering Megan Fox wasn’t in the earlier movies and Statham hasn’t had facial hair in any of the movies. Why did this character decide to grow a questionable, uh, like goatee between movies three and four?”

[00:05:53] Um, I did not notice that. I think in my mind, I thought that he drew that mustache on himself. But when you look at this picture and you can see it on Discord, it is, it is straight up, like, I don’t know, magician who hasn’t gotten a lot of work lately, I, there is something so bizarre about this thing. It just feels like something funny that happened on set and they just took a picture and they put it up there.

[00:06:16] Anyway, let’s go to the phone, Tristan. What do you got?

[00:06:22] Jack McBrayer: In the Expendables 4 show, Jason said, Jean Claude does get it, but he doesn’t get it. When he suggested playing his twin brother, which I have to say would’ve been an amazing decision, um, if you had ever seen it, check out Jean Claude Van Johnson, which is a Amazon Prime series, um, where Jean Claude Van Dam plays himself.

[00:06:44] A version of himself where his undercover identity is Jean Claude van Johnson, um, as he goes in and all of his movie shoots around the world have been cover stories for him to do some secret agent nonsense off on the side and he 100% gets it and is kind of poking fun of himself and his career in that. Uh, it is excellent. You should check it out if you haven’t seen it. Thanks. Bye.

[00:07:11] Paul Scheer: Okay. Yes, yes, yes. I know about this show. This is an older show, as a matter of fact. Um, and I’m a fan, uh, directed by, uh, a friend, Peter Atencio, uh, who I believe is related to the man who wrote the song for the Haunted Mansion.

[00:07:29] Where did that fact live in my brain? Anyway, uh, it is created by Dave Callahan, who wrote Expendables One and Across the Spider Verse, uh, and Shanghi, uh, it’s good. It’s really good. Uh, our friend Heather Campbell, also in that show, uh, you know, Heather from How Did This Get Played, but now I, I think it’s just called something else, like, just Get Played.

[00:07:49] Uh, I love Heather. It’s great. Um, okay. Next call. Now, I, I can’t verify this, but my producer Scott, is telling me that this next call is from Sylvester Stallone himself. Let me hear.

[00:08:02] Jack McBrayer: Hey, Paul, it’s Sly. What’s this? I hear about my movies being covered on a bad movies podcast. A bad movies podcast. That’s all right.

[00:08:12] That’s all right. Lemme tell you something you already know. It’s not about how many bad movies you make. How many bad movies you make and you keep moving forward, how many Oscars you make and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. That’s how Expendables was made. Expendables four and five.

[00:08:35] Anyway, there better be a summer Stallone on Unspooled. That’s all I gotta say about that. Bye Paul.

[00:08:43] Paul Scheer: Okay, now that I’ve heard it, I gotta say I believe that is Sylvester Stallone. Wow. I am honored. I would say the only note to that Stallone is, uh, I would say it, it doesn’t matter how many razzies you get, but you gotta keep on getting up, to get those Oscars. That’s the only note I would say to the Stallone.. But you know what, Stallone a great writer. Uh, I appreciate him calling in. Thank you Stallone. Uh, I loved, wow. I’m honored. And I, yeah, you know, we will talk about doing a potential Unspooled series. By the way, Unspooled,, we’ve been doing a lot of fun movies.

[00:09:18] Uh, we just did Naked A Gun, a fun kind of breakdown to that film. Uh, we’ve done a lot of new, interesting films on that show, so check it out if you haven’t heard it. A bit, but, uh, thank you Sylvester Stallone for calling and I appreciate it. I hope you’re not offended, and I know you’re not, ’cause you’re just a cool dude.

[00:09:33] Anyway, back to the discord, George Glass writes,

[00:09:36] “So I decided to watch all four of these because I couldn’t just hop in at the fourth one. And this was my biggest gripe. Justice for Charisma Carpenter, she has a couple of scenes in the first one, shows up in the second one where her character and Statham get engaged and then she disappears never to be seen again. And in the fourth one, Statham is just randomly dating Megan Fox. What happened to Charisma Carpenter? I did some sleuthing and it turns out they cut a scene in the second one where they break up, but they never allude to it In the third or fourth movie, she just disappeared.”

[00:10:09] Now. I know that I’m a big Buffy fan. We’ve talked about this. I’m a big Angel fan. Um, I love Charisma Carpenter. We worked out at the same gym and I did everything within my power, never to make eye contact or speak to her, uh, ’cause I would’ve just completely geeked out. Um, but I remember seeing Expendables one and being like, damn, she’s good.

[00:10:32] She should be in more stuff. And you’re right, justice for Charisma Carpenter. Now, you know, we also. Normally in this show have like a little deleted scene. Uh, and this week we wanted to add one in because we did talk about Charisma Carpenter in the actual show. Uh, so take a listen to this and you can kind of see how uh, her absence is even kind of more egregious.

[00:10:58] (At live show) What’s your name? What’s your question?

[00:11:00] Audience Member: Oh, uh, my name’s Charlie. I was just gonna say, I know Jason, you haven’t seen the other Expendable movies. You said you saw the first two. But Cordelia in the first one was in a relationship with Jason Statham and Sylvester Stallone’s. Like, you can’t be in relationships and do this life. She’s pregnant in the second one. He’s a father

[00:11:16] Jessica St. Clair: Oh no.

[00:11:17] Audience Member: Yeah.

[00:11:18] Paul Scheer: I forgot about

[00:11:18] that.

[00:11:19] Jessica St. Clair: Oh no.

[00:11:22] Jason Mantzoukas: I’m surprised there was never a kid Expendables like a kid’s team.

[00:11:26] Jessica St. Clair: That’d be cute.

[00:11:27] Paul Scheer: Well, by the way, I am in the Fast and Furious Kids’ cartoon on Netflix.

[00:11:32] Jason Mantzoukas: I love that.

[00:11:32] Paul Scheer: Not a joke. I am in one episode of it.

[00:11:34] Jessica St. Clair: He’s a father. Well, that gives a lot of gravitas to him deciding to go down with the ship. He doesn’t have even one thought about his offspring.

[00:11:43] Paul Scheer: (Back to Last Looks) So yeah, not only did they break up, but they broke up when she was pregnant. No wonder they cut it out. Okay. Because it’s like, yeah, that makes Statham a fucking asshole. Uh, anyway. So weird. So weird. And you know what this is said, uh, with love because I actually think Megan Fox is pretty great too. Uh, Jennifer’s Body, A plus.

[00:12:10] Uh, I’m just bummed. I’m bummed. I’m excited we get Megan, but I’m also bummed we lose Charisma and I’m like, for the amount that Megan is in this move, maybe Charisma, couldn’t do all those stuff. I don’t know. Somebody talked to Charisma, find out what’s going. No, don’t talk to her. That would be weird.

[00:12:30] Somebody talk to Statham and be like, what’s up? Why didn’t your producers wanna put her in. Maybe she asked for some more money and I bet you cheap fuckers were like, no. Anyway, uh, I, as a matter of fact, I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Uh, Corgi Herder to writes,

[00:12:44] “I got a question for Paul.”

[00:12:45] Ooh, that’s me.

[00:12:46] “Uh, let’s say this series is rebooted in 20 years. Who is your cast? Now? Be careful with ages ’cause uh, Vin Diesel would be 78 years old.”

[00:12:54] Uh, corgi Herder says I would go with Jason Momoa and Chris Hemsworth as the leads, I believe. Hemsworth was in one of these. Anyway, Keanu Reeves as their stone face sniper. Jake Gyllenhaal is a crazy demolitions expert, John Cena as their stealth guy, Jason Statham in a small role to connect the franchise and villains.

[00:13:12] Uh, Tom Hardy and Michelle Rodriguez. I love it, but you’re leaving out some good people. Frank Grillow. I think Frank Grillow could be in this. I, I think that John Cena could definitely be in this. You haven’t talked about The Rock at all. Let’s put The Rock in this. Uh, hell yeah. Uh, I also think when you’re looking at this movie and you’re thinking like, all right, who could do this kind of cool action?

[00:13:37] You know, we, we mentioned a lot of dudes. Obviously Michelle Rodriguez is in there. Charlize Theron? I mean, wouldn’t she be a fucking badass? Anna De Armas Uh, I could see her in this. Uh, but if we wanna even go one step further, Tom Cruise leads the team. It’s like Mission Impossible, but old Mission Impossible.

[00:13:57] Anyway, uh, let’s go to. Water Boy 2. Okay.

[00:14:01] “Now the video game that Paul was talking about in the episode was called Def Jam Vendetta, which was basically Mortal Kombat with rappers.”

[00:14:07] Yes. Thank you Water Boy for getting me.

[00:14:09] “But Expendables, uh, team members 50 cent also had his own video game called 50 cent Bulletproof, where he’s basically a superhero Neo James Bond, not like a Neo James Bond, but a superhero slash Neo slash James Bond.

[00:14:23] Now our producer Scott looked up the meta critic user score for this video game. Uh. It is, uh, a 4.4 outta 10, of course. Right. But we’ve noticed that the YouTube comments on this trailer are overwhelmingly different. Yeah. Uh, so we’re gonna briefly interrupt corrections and omissions because now it’s time for 50 cent Bulletproof second opinions.

[00:14:51] Trailer Audio: What’s Mines is mines. What’s yours is mines. I’ve run these streets. This whole city is mines. I never understand how people forget that.

[00:15:01] Paul Scheer: Alright. The trailer for 50 cent Bulletproof on YouTube has 758,000 views, 6,500 likes and 446 positive comments. First up is a comment from 95 Batman Lover.

[00:15:18] “As a young kid, I honestly thought 50 cent was a skilled mercenary like this in real life.”

[00:15:23] You know, that is not too far off because we were taught as young people who love Steven Segal that he was all these things too. Not just like a karate teacher for rich dudes in Beverly Hills. Uh, Kid Ray 39 94 writes,

[00:15:36] “This is one of the hardest clips ever. As a kid, my dream was to become a skilled killer, like 50 cent and gain respect around my whole city. I ended up with a minimum wage nine to five, but thanks for the memories Fitty.”

[00:15:49] Tav Dennis 11 writes, ‘

[00:15:51] “Great times. I remember showing my mother this trailer, telling her how much I wanted this game. I still remember to this day when she saw 50 cent shooting a guy hang off the rooftop. She was like, oh my God, no. But still ended up buying it for me.”

[00:16:06] Tav. That’s a good mom. Deloft one writes,

[00:16:10] “Before John Wick, we have 50 cent.”

[00:16:13] You know, that’s the thing. Like there was a, that moment where there were a lot of biopics, but, you know, I remember that like DMX did a movie with Jet Lee. That was awesome.

[00:16:24] Uh, you know, I, and I feel like Fitty had like his biopic movie, which is kind of a rip of the Eminem. Not a rip, but like trying to steal thunder from that. I’m like, just put him in these fatigues and get him blowing shit up. Anyway, uh, I love that and uh, I appreciate Scott finding that little 50 cent video game tangent.

[00:16:44] Um, but you know what? Back to the business at hand, we have to pick the best correction and omission for this week. And you know what? I wanna give it to somebody who talked about something that was very important. Yes, I know Stallone called and that was awesome and I’m honored by it, but he doesn’t need any more accolades.

[00:17:04] I wanna give my accolade this week to our friend George Glass. George Glass who says, Justice for Charisma Carpenter. And you know what? I have to agree with you 100%. Now I wish I could give you something, but I can’t. But I can have you listen to this song specifically for you. Milk, hit it.

[00:17:30] Music: [Winner’s Song]

[00:17:38] Paul Scheer: Alright. If you wanna chime in with your own thoughts about the latest episode, hit up our Discord or call us at 619 P-A-U-L-A-S-K. And once again, you can find our new song submission link at HDTGM.com or in the show notes for this very episode. Coming up after the break, you’ll hear from guests like Jack McBrayer, David Wayne, and Moore, as I bring Sylvester Stallone podcast back to light.

[00:17:59] And of course, I’ll finally announce next week’s movie. Be right back. All right everybody, I hope you’re checking out, uh, classic How Did This Get Made episodes that are being rereleased into your feed every Tuesday. This week we are continuing Stallone summer with Cobra, and next week we’ll be revisiting a movie that argues bombs or more precise weapons than guns.

[00:18:20] That’s right, The Specialist with All star Nicole Byer. So keep on checking out all of the replays of our classic episodes every Tuesday. I believe that Nicole Byer episode was the first live episode back after COVID. Um, alright. Anyway, I’ve plugged it enough. It is now time to get back into my lost Sylvester Stallone podcast.

[00:18:39] On our previous Last Looks, you heard how Stallone agreed to guest on my podcast, but kept on standing me up for every episode. So, does Sly ever show up? Let’s find out.

[00:18:54] (Stallone Podcast)

[00:19:07] Paul’s Mom: Hello?

[00:19:07] Paul Scheer: Hey, mom.

[00:19:09] Paul’s Mom: Hi.

[00:19:10] Paul Scheer: How are you?

[00:19:12] Paul’s Mom: What’s the matter?

[00:19:13] Paul Scheer: Just bummed out.

[00:19:16] Paul’s Mom: What happened?

[00:19:17] Paul Scheer: I’m doing the Sylvester Stallone podcast and I thought that I was gonna get Sylvester Stallone to come in, and he is not. He has not come in.

[00:19:30] Paul’s Mom: So what happens now?

[00:19:32] Paul Scheer: I don’t know. They have me signed up for this contract and I have to do this show and people are listening and I don’t know, I just, I feel like a real, like, I feel like I’m gonna look like a real jerk in front of everybody.

[00:19:44] Paul’s Mom: Ah.

[00:19:46] Paul Scheer: Yeah, but I don’t know. I don’t know if I should, what?

[00:19:49] Paul’s Mom: Did he have a contract to do, what he, what he promised?

[00:19:53] Paul Scheer: This is, this is what I’m, okay. So we talked to his people at one point and like we advertised this, I went like on, I talked to like the Wall Street Journal and I just, on Bloomberg, I just is on Bloomberg today and talking to these guys and I was advertising. They said, oh yeah, now he’s not, he’s not gonna come now.

[00:20:08] So he’s not coming. You know, so it just, it just, just, you know, I don’t know if you know how that you, like, when you feel like you, you put yourself out there in a way and you just.

[00:20:19] Paul’s Mom: Yeah.

[00:20:20] Paul Scheer: You know, now everyone, I don’t know, sees it and I just feel like a jerk about it, you know? ’cause I don’t know what to do to recover from it.

[00:20:28] Paul’s Mom: Well, let me, let me ask you this. Mm-hmm. Is it totally lost? Is there any way that you could personally reach out to him?

[00:20:36] Paul Scheer: I mean, yeah, I guess that’s a, I mean. I, yeah. Yeah, I guess I could. I mean, I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know if I know him or any, have you never met him? Right? You never saw him like in the city or anything like that? No?

[00:20:48] Paul’s Mom: Who are you saying that to? To June?

[00:20:49] Paul Scheer: No, I’m saying that to you.

[00:20:52] Paul’s Mom: Sylvester Stallone.

[00:20:53] Paul Scheer: No. ’cause I remember you ran into Chevy Chase in that liquor store one time.

[00:20:56] Paul’s Mom: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. I never met him in the city. Yeah, no.

[00:21:01] Paul Scheer: All right.

[00:21:03] Paul’s Mom: But, but you know what, can, can I tell you something? We had a similar thing happen at the hospital.

[00:21:08] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:21:08] Paul’s Mom: Where we, we thought we were gonna have these hospitalists join the staff, right?

[00:21:12] Paul Scheer: Right.

[00:21:12] Paul’s Mom: And at like 12:01, they said, oh, by the way, we’re not doing it. And the only thing that worked

[00:21:18] Paul Scheer: Uhhuh

[00:21:19] Paul’s Mom: was for the chief medical officer to throw himself on the sword. And there was something that they didn’t like. Rather than saying what they didn’t like, they just said we’re not doing it. So he found out what it was that they, they didn’t like. He couldn’t correct it immediately, but we got them to start. And I’m thinking that the only sometimes you have to kiss. Well, I mean, in your business you know it more than I do.

[00:21:41] Paul Scheer: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:21:43] Paul’s Mom: You know, I think you have to kiss his ass a little bit.

[00:21:45] Paul Scheer: So maybe just like go in there and just kind of like, yeah, like just maybe like offer up something that he’s not quite getting or something, or just like kind of, yeah. Fall on my sword a little bit.

[00:21:53] Paul’s Mom: Yeah, that’s exactly right.

[00:21:55] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:21:55] Paul’s Mom: And, you know, uh, you know, play to that.

[00:21:58] Paul Scheer: I will.

[00:21:58] Paul’s Mom: You know, absolutely play to that.

[00:22:00] Paul Scheer: All right. This is, this is, uh, I appreciate, that’s actually, that’s actually really good advice. You know what, ’cause I feel like everyone’s just like, kind of against me. Like June’s even saying, like, June told me, she’s like, I want you to stop doing the show. You’re embarrassing yourself and you know, everyone is, everyone’s trying to say, just cut your losses and you’re the only, you’re the first person to tell me that I should continue, and I appreciate that.

[00:22:21] Paul’s Mom: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, and, and I bet you it’ll work.

[00:22:25] Paul Scheer: Yeah, you’re right.

[00:22:26] Paul’s Mom: I really do. I, I’ll tell you, we had, we had millions of dollars at stake, and, and I doubt.

[00:22:30] Paul Scheer: That’s the same thing.

[00:22:31] Paul’s Mom: You have millions.

[00:22:32] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Well, no, I mean, WolfPup, not millions of dollars, but it’s a lot. You know? It’s a lot.

[00:22:35] Paul’s Mom: Yeah. And you know what, maybe there’s something you can offer him. I mean, would he be somebody that you would want on, on The League?

[00:22:42] Paul Scheer: Well, I mean, you think he would be like into like, if I could like kind of put that out there, like he could be on the show and be like, he’d be a cool currency.

[00:22:48] Paul’s Mom: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[00:22:50] Paul Scheer: Good idea.

[00:22:50] Paul’s Mom: Exactly.

[00:22:51] Paul Scheer: All right.

[00:22:51] Paul’s Mom: But I would just really, I, you know, I don’t wanna say beg, but you know what I mean by falling on your sword.

[00:22:56] Paul Scheer: No, I, I definitely do. I definitely do. This is great. Thank you, mom.

[00:23:00] Paul’s Mom: Okay, honey.

[00:23:01] Paul Scheer: Thanks so much.

[00:23:02] Paul’s Mom: Oh, I’m glad to help. I’m Christmas shopping for Gussy.

[00:23:05] Paul Scheer: Oh my gosh. Oh, all right. Well, I I love you, mom.

[00:23:12] Jack McBrayer: Hey, buddy.

[00:23:13] Paul Scheer: Hey, Jack McBrayer, you are on the Jack McBrayer podcast. I’m the host Paul Scheer asking you questions that the fans want to know.

[00:23:22] Jack McBrayer: Oh, hey buddy. What’s going on?

[00:23:24] Paul Scheer: Uh, Jack, you are, uh, now the star of the show. I, I originally started the Sylvester Stallone podcast, uh, been having trouble getting him, but, uh, I figured, you know, next to Stallone, people will also wanna know about Jack McBrayer. What makes you tick, what you know, what the fun parts of your career and stuff, and figured if you’re up for it, uh, we could just do a podcast right now. You’re on the air right now.

[00:23:45] Jack McBrayer: I guess so. But no, clearly I, I wasn’t your first choice though.

[00:23:49] Paul Scheer: Well, no, but you weren’t my first choice because I didn’t think that you were popular enough like Stallone. But now as the, you know, as, as things have gone on, I’m definitely feeling like this is your get you’re a getable guest for me.

[00:24:01] Jack McBrayer: But did you ask other people first?

[00:24:03] Paul Scheer: Asked a couple, couple people.

[00:24:04] Jack McBrayer: Now you’re now getting to me.

[00:24:05] Paul Scheer: Yeah, yeah. Asked a couple people. Yeah, sure. Um, you know, friends of ours and stuff like that. But, um, but now that we got each other, I think we shouldn’t, we won’t worry about the past. You know, you’re never the first offer. Do you ever hear that?

[00:24:16] Jack McBrayer: What does that mean?

[00:24:18] Paul Scheer: Well, like if you ever got a movie or a tv, like chances are you’re not the first person they wanted, like, I’m sure for, you know, Kenneth, they didn’t write that part for you. It probably went to like a bigger actor, you know, or something like that.

[00:24:28] Jack McBrayer: No, actually, actually, no. That is incorrect. I knew Tina Fey for a long time.

[00:24:32] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:24:33] Jack McBrayer: And she did say she wrote Kenneth with me in mind, Paul.

[00:24:36] Paul Scheer: I doubt it.

[00:24:36] Jack McBrayer: Did you audition for it?

[00:24:38] Paul Scheer: I didn’t audition, I just, I’m just saying I doubt it. I’m just saying there probably was other people out there, you know, she probably, I don’t know, went.

[00:24:45] You know, she probably went to like, like Donnie Wahlberg or somebody first, you know, like a bigger name person.

[00:24:51] Jack McBrayer: Donnie Wahlberg?

[00:24:52] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Don’t get caught up on this. We should do. You want, we shouldn’t get caught up on the fact that you’re lower than Donnie Wahlberg on the celebrity ladder. You’re a more accessible guy. That’s why I’m calling you right now.

[00:25:03] Jack McBrayer: Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? You called me.

[00:25:05] Paul Scheer: I know, and you’re the one who’s telling me that you are offer only and that everyone wants you. Listen, let me, uh, break your burst your bubble, buddy.

[00:25:12] Jack McBrayer: I’ve never said that. I’ve never said that. I’ve never said that. I don’t. I’m not even positive what that means.

[00:25:17] Paul Scheer: You just said that Tina Fey wrote the part for you and everything like that. Like just have some humility. Okay.

[00:25:23] Jack McBrayer: No, she did write that part for me.

[00:25:25] Paul Scheer: See, this is different.

[00:25:26] Jack McBrayer: I’m not saying every job I get is written.

[00:25:28] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:25:28] Jack McBrayer: What do you wanna know? Why did did you call me? How did you?

[00:25:30] Paul Scheer: I’m calling you because you’re the, you should be excited. You’re in the star of my podcast. Okay. You’re the star.

[00:25:37] Jack McBrayer: What’s the question?

[00:25:39] Paul Scheer: All right. The question is, if you are in an alley, whose ass could you kick? Uh, Bruce Willis’ ass? Jason Statham’s ass? Van Dam’s ass? Danny Trejo’s ass? Arnold’s ass? John Cusack’s ass? You know who? Who’s the toughest fighter?

[00:25:54] Jack McBrayer: What are you talking about? I don’t know any of these people.

[00:25:57] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:25:58] Jack McBrayer: I would never be in a fight.

[00:25:59] Paul Scheer: Okay. Well I told you that the premise of the show was Sylvester Stallone podcast and I’m still have only have a bunch of used up questions for Sylvester Stallone, so I’m just, you can figure that out.

[00:26:08] If you who you’re gonna fight, would you be able to beat up?

[00:26:10] Jack McBrayer: You just said it was the Jack McBrayer show where I’m the star and people wanna know questions about Jack McBrayer. I don’t know, beans about Jason Statham and Bruce Willis and fighting them in an alley.

[00:26:20] Paul Scheer: Okay.

[00:26:20] Jack McBrayer: That doesn’t mean anything to me.

[00:26:22] Paul Scheer: Okay. Alright. Alright. Fine, fine. You know what, you’re right, you’re right. I, okay, how about this? This is from, alright. Um, okay. Uh, okay. I, I, I have another question. I have a, okay. Um, Jason Colpack writes, who wins in a 10 round fight today, uh, uh, you or Carl Weathers? Who of course played Apollo Creed in Rocky.

[00:26:40] Jack McBrayer: Again. You, you’re, you’re barking up the wrong tree here, kid. I’ve never been in a fight ever, except with like my brother and like my sister.

[00:26:47] Paul Scheer: Who won? Who won? Who? Okay, well, first of all, who won? Who won?

[00:26:51] Jack McBrayer: It was a tie.

[00:26:52] Paul Scheer: Okay. Okay. And does your brother look like Carl Weathers?

[00:26:57] Jack McBrayer: Oh, give me a break.

[00:26:58] Paul Scheer: I’m just asking the question.

[00:26:58] Jack McBrayer: Gimme a break.

[00:26:59] Paul Scheer: You’re your defensive interviewer. You’re very defensive. Okay, here’s another.

[00:27:05] Jack McBrayer: What do you want? I’m about to go out to dinner. I’m about to go out to dinner with John Hamm. Heard of him?

[00:27:09] Paul Scheer: Oh my. Can you get him on? I would love to do a John Hamm podcast. Could we? Can we have him on the show?

[00:27:14] Jack McBrayer: No.

[00:27:15] Paul Scheer: You’re a real jerk.

[00:27:18] Yep. He hung up on me. He hung up. Great. Well, it’s either the Jack McBrayer podcast or the Sylvester Stallone podcast. I’m not sure. Um, I’ll find out more and I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Thanksgiving’s coming up. If you guys have a place for me to eat, I would love that. So, um, uh, let me know on the message boards on, uh, Wolf Pup.

[00:27:39] Woo, love you. And, um, a special message to my wife. Um, I’d like to come home. June, I’d like to come home.

[00:27:51] Hey everybody. Welcome to the David Wayne podcast, formerly the Jack McBrayer podcast, formerly the Sylvester Stallone podcast. I’m your host, Paul Scheer, I’m sitting here with, uh, writer, actor, director David Wayne. David, welcome to the show.

[00:28:04] David Wayne: It’s so good to be here and I’ve always wanted to, uh, lend my voice to the podcast medium and this is a great opportunity for the audience to get some of my wisdom, some of my tidbits, and yeah, I’m just really thrilled for the community of listeners and the world out there that they get a chance to, to hear what I have to say.

[00:28:22] Paul Scheer: Well, this is great. We’re really gonna get into it with you. This is obviously, you know, we’re a gradual series. We’ll start out with big ideas and get to some small stuff.

[00:28:28] But, uh, let’s just find out what are you, what are you working on now? Like, what do you, what’s exciting?

[00:28:32] David Wayne: It’s like, what am I not working on? Uh, I think of myself as a multihyphenate. It’s like, yeah, of course, writer, director, comedian, I mean, what? No gardener in my backyard. Uh, father, husband. It’s like, you name it, I’m doing it. And so it’s like projects, Hollywood stuff, you know?

[00:28:49] Paul Scheer: Yeah. So you’re doing a lot of Hollywood stuff and it, and you’ve recently made a, a trip out here to Los Angeles, right?

[00:28:55] David Wayne: Yeah, well, I’ve, uh, become West Coast based recently, and that’s been, you know, a way to get into the, I feel like it’s a lot of the heart of stuff in cable tv. Yeah. Uh, network tv. Uh, there’s a live stuff, you know.

[00:29:07] Paul Scheer: But it must be hard. You’re, you’re away from your home for the holidays and, you know, probably, probably tough to even have plans for the holidays.

[00:29:14] David Wayne: Well, you know, I mean, you know, it’s just when I was in New York, I, my family’s in you, Ohio. Yeah. And so I’ll be, uh.

[00:29:20] Going, uh, with my family to Ohio to see my, my parents, and my

[00:29:25] Paul Scheer: Oh, so you’re gonna go, you’re actually leaving LA and you’re going to Ohio?

[00:29:27] David Wayne: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:28] Paul Scheer: It’d be so fun to actually, I think like, even to go with you there, to kind of get, like, get into your family life and see what you, what, what your dynamic is with your family.

[00:29:37] David Wayne: You’d love it, Paul. It’s like. The jokes around the table.

[00:29:40] Paul Scheer: I can imagine. Well, I, I, I would actually, I would, I actually would love it. I would love to come. I, if you’re a, if you’re cool with having me come.

[00:29:47] David Wayne: Obviously I know, I know that, you know, I dont’ mean that literally, and that, but, uh, you know, if you, in a, in a funny way, as a bit, that’s funny to say.

[00:29:53] Paul Scheer: Like, no, no. Yeah, no, I would, I, no, I, I know I, well, I mean. Just, I mean, would it be weird? Would it be weird? I mean, I don’t, I’m right now, I don’t have any Thanksgiving plans, uh, right now, so, I mean, I’m free.

[00:30:04] David Wayne: Right. Yeah. I mean, it’s in Ohio, so Right. We’re, you know, it’d be, it would be a plane flight. And it’s not.

[00:30:10] Paul Scheer: I think we can, I, I think I could, I could, I would, I would swing it. I get some money together. I would, I mean, if I could just, yeah.

[00:30:15] David Wayne: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, the thing is, it’s like we have this table and there’s only so many chairs in the table, and it’s like, and, and we, I actually did just. Just a second ago,

[00:30:27] I actually spoke to, um, my sister Beth, who is uh, setting it all up. Yeah. You know, and she said she that you’re not invited.

[00:30:38] Paul Scheer: So I can’t go?

[00:30:40] David Wayne: It’s, the thing is, is that you ca you can’t come because you’re, this is.

[00:30:45] Paul Scheer: You know what? This podcast is boring. This is a boring podcast. No one wants to, no one cares about what you have to say about anything. This is, we’re not doing this podcast anymore.

[00:30:51] David Wayne: No. The David Wayne podcast, I, I thought.

[00:30:53] Paul Scheer: No. Yeah, it’s done. No one cares. Because you know what? I thought you were a nice guy. I thought you were a guy who cared about your friends, and now you’re just shit on me.

[00:30:59] David Wayne: I’m not shitting. I’m saying it’s, it’s, you can’t go on my Thanksgiving dinner, but wants, wants to know.

[00:31:03] Paul Scheer: No one wants to know about you. No one wants to know about you. You’re done. All right. This is done.

[00:31:07] What a jerk. I mean, oh, you’re going back to Ohio and you don’t have room for me? I made a whole fucking podcast about you. I mean, I, this is the kinda stuff again, it’s Hollywood. Oh, so nice to your face. And then when you ask them for something real, something tangible, they say, no. You know what? Let this be a lesson to everyone out there who wants to be an actor, a writer, a director.

[00:31:28] You know what? Get used to being lied to because this is what this town is about. This podcast was started on a lie told to me, and now my life is spiraling because of the liars Here. You think that there is support and there is no. There’s just no support. Um, it is Tuesday. I currently do not have any plans for Thanksgiving, and I should, because I’m a great guest.

[00:31:50] I bring games. Um, you wanna put me on your categories team? I’ll fucking nail it. Oh. Wanna do, uh, the, you know. Uh, mafia. I can do that. You wanna do, uh, like a great, like celebrity, I fucking nail all those games. So, um, if there is anyone out there, anyone who, who wants to have a great celebrity, uh, at your party, and I am a celebrity, I.

[00:32:12] I was in the Eddie Murphy movie, Meet Dave. I was cut out, but I was in it. I met Eddie Murphy. And you know what? Uh, so think about that. Uh, David Wayne, think about that.

[00:32:23] Hello people of Earth and welcome to the Sylvester Stallone podcast. I am Paul Scheer. Gobble. Gobble. Happy Thanksgiving. Woo. Oh man. Um, oh, geez, I gotta turn this down.

[00:32:42] Uh, studio is closed today, so I’m just cruising, cruising around and, uh, just checking out everybody out here in LA and seeing what’s up. What’s up LA. Uh, this is strange. I’m sorry. This is, uh, I not even paying attention. I’m just, it’s like, you know, ever you ever be driving, you’re not paying attention and you’re just like, how did I get here?

[00:33:10] Uh, wow. This is my old, my old house. I wonder what’s going on in there today. Um, wonder what is happening there. Um, it’s like, oh, it’s Uncle Dave’s car. Guess June decided to have everybody over. I, you know, she, she never likes to have people over. I don’t know what happened. Uh, wow. Uh, what am I thankful for?

[00:33:43] Um, oh, oh, shit. Shit. Fuck. Someone’s coming up. Someone’s coming up. I don’t think they see me. I don’t think they see me. Shut the fuck up. Oh God. That was close. Uh, so what am I thankful for? Um, movies like Rocky. You know, and, uh, great story is a triumph, the underdog, you know, someone who everyone said, you are failure, you’re not gonna get back up.

[00:34:08] And then at the end of the movie, he got that interview. I, I mean, he won that fight. And then everyone, then he got a robot and then one of the sequels after they got a fucking robot. And, and that robot had a relationship with his trainer. And that was all because he is an underdog. And you know, Thanksgiving is about underdogs and uh, you know, I may be whatever, you know, having myself a subway, uh, Turkey sub with meatballs Yeah. Outta the box. That’s the way I think. Uh, and you can do that. You just have to pay extra. Just ask them, can I get Turkey sub with meatballs? It’s healthier. Uh, and I’m just sitting in my car rocking out.

[00:34:51] I’m a lone wolf. Owwooo. And, um, yeah. I hope you guys are eating some lone wolf or lone turkeys. Um, so anyway, this is, uh, this is me just saying if you see a Prius cruising around your neighborhood, uh, raise a Turkey leg for me because, uh, I’m out there. I’m out there getting the job done, doing the work. Um, this is a Sylvester Sloan podcast and I am

[00:35:27] Paul Scheer. And I am thankful for you and to be away from people in my life who give me bullshit. Uh, I don’t need cranberry sauce one day a year for, uh, a lifetime of, uh, you know, I’ll come to bed at the same time as me. I don’t need that. Uh, all right, so, uh, I’m out. I’m out. Woo. Just rocking out. Yeah. Woo hoo.

[00:35:58] I’m free. Free from family, free from everyone.

[00:36:03] (Back to Last Looks)

[00:36:08] Welcome back. Make sure you tune into our next Last Looks for the thrilling conclusion of the Sylvester Stallone podcast. But right now it is time to announce our next movie. Next week we are going from Boom Booms to Vroom Vrooms. That’s right. We are closing out Stallone Summer with the 2001 Motorsports movie Driven, which was Sly’s attempt to make a formula 1 film years before Brad Pitt and Jerry Bruckheimer. Driven also stars Burt Reynolds, Kipp Purdue, Till Schwigger, uh, Schwigger? Schweiger? And Gina Gershon. Alright, Rotten Tomatoes, raised this film of 14% on the tomato meter, and Michael O’Sullivan from the Washington Post said,

[00:36:47] “A music video shot by a cops camera crew on crystal meth.”

[00:36:52] Ho, ho. Fuck yeah. Washington Post brings the heat. I love that. Let’s take a listen to the trailer.

[00:36:58] Trailer Audio: Good luck today, gentlemen.

[00:37:01] To race with courage.

[00:37:03] Everyone falls down. It’s just how fast you get up.

[00:37:06] To love with passion.

[00:37:08] Don’t blow this. Not over her.

[00:37:12] To risk it all.

[00:37:13] I can’t do this.

[00:37:15] Don’t overdrive the car.

[00:37:17] You must be Driven.

[00:37:23] PG 13.

[00:37:24] Paul Scheer: You can rent Driven on Amazon Prime Video, Apple Tv, Fandango at home and the Microsoft store. Wow. We’re really pulling some interesting places, uh, there are lots of movies, name Driven, so just make sure you’re watching the 2001 motor racing film and totally unrelated to this week’s movie, I encourage you to check out Hoopla and Canopy and Libby, which are digital media services offered by your local library that allow you to consume movies, tv, music, audiobooks, eBooks, and comics for free. That’s it everybody. That is all for Last Looks, and if you listen on Apple Podcast or Spotify, please rate and review us.

[00:37:57] Make sure you’re following us and have automatic downloads turned on. It helps show and we appreciate it. Visit us on social media @HDTGM and a big thank you to our producer Scott Sonne and Molly Reynolds, and our movie picking producer Avaryl Halley, and our engineer Casey Holford. We’ll see you next week for Driven.