October 5, 2023
Ike Barinholtz swoops into Largo to help Paul, June, and Jason break down the 1999 Lou Diamond Phillips horror flick Bats. They discuss the jacked bats on steroids, the river of guano, the insanity of trying to shoot bats with handguns, and if Jimmy is actually a ghost. Plus, Paul reveals how live possums factored into his childhood Halloween decorations and an audience member drops a bombshell translation of Dr. Casper’s necklace.
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329 — Bats LIVE! (w/ Ike Barinholtz)
Paul Scheer [00:00:01] Oh. Guano, which is scientist talk for shit. We saw Bats. So you know what that means!
Music [00:00:34] [Intro Song]
Paul Scheer [00:01:03] Hello people of Earth, and hello people of Largo! We are excited because tonight we are going to talk about an actor that we love. Lou Diamond Phillips. LDP in a movie called Bats, a movie that has sequels. But with none of this cast. A movie that you guessed it is about bats. Honestly, that’s all you really need to know. I guess a lot of bats and maybe if we want to add to that. And bats that eat people. I mean, that’s really the premise of the movie. Bats that eat people get loose in a town. And Lou Diamond Phillips has to save the day. Oh. And Lou Diamond Phillips is Southern. Okay. So this movie came out in 1999, which is interesting because when you watch it, if I told you 1987, you’d be like, okay. Sure. But tonight we are going to break down this movie with my two co-hosts. Please welcome them to the stage, Mr. Jason Mantzoukas.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:02:35] What’s up jerks!? That’s right. How we doing Largo? Yeah. Here we go.
Paul Scheer [00:02:46] Boom!
Jason Mantzoukas [00:02:47] Wait. There’s four seats?
Paul Scheer [00:02:49] Four seats. Tonight we do have a special guest. A How did this get made all-Star, if you will. But before we get
Jason Mantzoukas [00:02:59] I will.
Paul Scheer [00:03:01] Before we get into that, I did want to ask you this. Were you surprised to find out as much as I was that this movie was released theatrically?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:10] Okay. Yes, I am. Second, and forgive me if you included this earlier in your statements, had never heard of this movie in my entire life.
Paul Scheer [00:03:21] Don’t think that’s odd. I don’t think that that’s odd.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:24] But here’s the thing. I’m not sure why. Because it was great.
Paul Scheer [00:03:30] We love that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:33] I was like, Oh, my God, give me this little town set piece forever. This should be a classic. Why don’t we watch this like we watched Tremors? Fuck you.
Paul Scheer [00:03:46] I am on the same page here because.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:49] Boy, I thought it was dynamite.
Paul Scheer [00:03:51] I love it. I mean, I love LDP.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:54] I was like they’re in the mine now. And there were spacesuits. This movie’s got it all. Except for the bad guys are bats. You can’t shoot bats with a handgun.
Paul Scheer [00:04:08] Jason. Hold on.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:10] Get them out here.
Paul Scheer [00:04:11] We will get them out here. Please welcome my other cohost, June Diane Raphael. How are you, June?
June Diane Raphael [00:04:33] I’m well. How are you, Paul?
Paul Scheer [00:04:36] I’m doing well. June, Dina Meyer, one of the stars of this movie.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:40] Incredible.
Paul Scheer [00:04:41] Incredible. One of my costars in Pirhanna 3D. She was just as awesome as you would expect, but. She is afraid of bats. Are you afraid of bats?
June Diane Raphael [00:04:53] Of course I am. I’m an American adult woman. Yes. I. Of course I am.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:01] I wouldn’t trust you if you weren’t afraid of bats. I’d be like, Ooh, that’s a Russian spy.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:09] If you’ll remember, Paul, I did have an encounter with a bat a few years back, and I thought, Oh God, it was so upsetting because I thought at first that, you know, one of my deceased relatives has been coming back as a hummingbird. And so I thought, Oh my God, it was nighttime in Ojai. And I thought, Oh my God, look at all those hummingbirds. I’ve never seen a roost of hummingbirds together like that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:39] All those hummingbirds on the roof of this cave.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:44] I was so excited. And when I realized they were bats, it was just it was really upsetting.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:51] I mean, they really are just night birds that carry disease.
Paul Scheer [00:05:57] And pollenate our jungles.
June Diane Raphael [00:06:01] And that’s what was so crazy about about our zoologist, our science scientist, Dina, because she never brought up the fact that bats have caused a lot of trouble.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:18] Great point. Great point. At one point says should we get some garlic for this? Making the connection between the bats the vampires turned into and just nobody, no. I think that Jimmy is a ghost in the movie. He’s saying things all the time. Like how come nobody asked me if I wanted to stay here? I mean, he’s like, Well, we got to go to the thing as if just a shame. Jimmy died last couple a couple of hours ago. They ignored him.
June Diane Raphael [00:06:48] Like they did not include him in one conversation.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:51] No, it’s true.
Paul Scheer [00:06:52] Jimmy doesn’t need. Jimmy entertains himself. Now. I don’t want to get too far into it because we do have a special guest tonight.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:59] Let’s do the whole show before the guest comes out.
Paul Scheer [00:07:02] Our special guest tonight is a a film, a TV, an amazing actor, a writer, but also the person who introduced us to a little known L.A. tour, the Jason Statham tour. Please welcome Ike Barinholtz.
Ike Barinholtz [00:07:35] Thank you. Thank you.
Paul Scheer [00:07:35] Ike, Welcome back. It’s been far too long.
Ike Barinholtz [00:07:39] Too long. I wore my Statham shirt.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:41] Love it.
Paul Scheer [00:07:43] My favorite.
Ike Barinholtz [00:07:47] We cannot get started. We cannot.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:49] We can. I wish. I feel like I would have watched the Jason Statham movie in preparation.
Paul Scheer [00:07:57] Where do you fall in the Bats world? Do you know about bats? Have you seen bats?
Ike Barinholtz [00:08:04] The movie?
Paul Scheer [00:08:04] The movie.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:07] I will say this. Backstage, Ike did say to me, Now, are we going to watch the movie up there?
Ike Barinholtz [00:08:13] I was terrified that we were going to watch the whole movie again.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:17] It’s like that was like 4 minutes ago.
Ike Barinholtz [00:08:21] Oh, I’m not afraid of bats. I have no experience with them. Except for the time that a giant. I was unloading some stolen goods and a man dressed like a bat beat up me and my friend.
Paul Scheer [00:08:32] Well, I mean, this guy has been getting a lot. I mean, he’s. He’s cleaning up the city, but he’s also. I mean, what’s up with him? He seems a little weird, this guy.
Ike Barinholtz [00:08:40] He’s dressed like a bat. I swear to God, boss.
Paul Scheer [00:08:42] I don’t know if I would associate after seeing the bat.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:48] Are you a goon for the Falcone family?
Ike Barinholtz [00:08:52] Mr. Falcone, I swear to God, he looks like a bat. I don’t know what to tell you.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:56] Mr. Cobblepot, you’ve got to understand.
Paul Scheer [00:08:59] All I have to say is.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:01] We’re just going to do Batman bits instead.
Paul Scheer [00:09:03] When I see Batman, I would not think of the bats that I see in this movie. Like, no, bats are terrifying. These bats with their little fingers climbing in. Like the dantiness of their legs and fingers in this movie freaked me out.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:23] I will say like this. In the same way that like 28 days later introduced us to Fast zombies. This movie introduced us to jacked bats.
Ike Barinholtz [00:09:33] Jacked. They were all jacked.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:35] Jacked bats. And they’re all like.
Ike Barinholtz [00:09:38] They all had insane shoulders. Also, I’ll tell you a little, little, little Hollywood secret. Industry secret. When you see a bat in a movie and it’s jacked, it’s steroids. They are doing a whole cycle.
Paul Scheer [00:09:55] We never heard we never heard the full the full thing that this scientist did, He’s like, oh, no, I just injected them with steroids. I made them angry and very strong.
Ike Barinholtz [00:10:05] And can hit a 500 foot homerun.
June Diane Raphael [00:10:09] There were times that the bat faces looked like French bulldogs.
Paul Scheer [00:10:14] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:16] I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.
Ike Barinholtz [00:10:19] Yeah, I think some props guy in Alhambra was just taping a bat body to a bunch of frenchie puppies.
Paul Scheer [00:10:25] My dog Petunia can be in this movie. My dog, which is really good, is shoving them into a bat costume.
June Diane Raphael [00:10:31] So Paul. Here’s what I don’t understand, actually. And I didn’t love this movie the way that you two love this movie.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:38] Shame. It’s a real shame.
Ike Barinholtz [00:10:40] I don’t know. You know. Did I really like it? Yes.
June Diane Raphael [00:10:42] Okay. But I. I could. I could not understand what the what the purpose of injecting these bats with this steroids was. I know they were becoming weapons, but some. Here’s my question. The really big bats, the really big ones, jacked bat, the jacked bats. It seemed like there were like two of those.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:05] Yes. Those are the two hero bats that escaped.
June Diane Raphael [00:11:11] Okay. They’re like they’re like number one and two on the call sheet.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:14] Yes. They escaped a prison.
June Diane Raphael [00:11:17] So those two bats. Okay, so those two bats escaped a prison. But will the rest of the bats that we know and love become those bats? Eventually.
Paul Scheer [00:11:27] Well, we saw we saw that moment where they do the the computer analysis of in six weeks, they’ll be in they’ll be in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. One year it will be the entire.
June Diane Raphael [00:11:40] But here’s the.
Ike Barinholtz [00:11:41] New York for the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:43] They’ll be they’ll make it to Coachella.
Ike Barinholtz [00:11:49] Glastonbury, Mr. President. They’re able to go back.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:54] They’re stuck in the mud at Burning Man. Was anybody here at burning man stuck in the mud? Raise your hand. Of course not.
Ike Barinholtz [00:12:02] Good.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:02] Of course not.
June Diane Raphael [00:12:12] Yeah. They listen to podcasts. They don’t go to Burning Man, but so. So all of the little bats, though, are still like murderous bats.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:26] Yes. Yes. But they don’t have okay enhancements, I believe.
Paul Scheer [00:12:29] Wait, so are you saying that those two bats are just controlling the other bats to attack. But the other bats also are killers as well.
June Diane Raphael [00:12:40] That’s what I thought.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:41] They’ve got the fever, but I don’t think they’ve I don’t think they’ve been given the enhancements.
Paul Scheer [00:12:49] I thought it was passed on to them by like biting.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:50] By the two to the two escapees.
Ike Barinholtz [00:12:53] They said at one point the good news, we have good news. Right. Only other bats can get that right. Yes. So there is a threat there. I did like when they took the tracker. Yeah, they put it on that bat, and then the other two bats instantly marked it. That even in nature, snitches get stitches this year.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:13] There’s also, by the way, an incredible set piece where they arrive at a school and fully do an opera soundtrack. A-team montage the whole school. And at the end of the montage, they’re like, We have to go to the mine. Goodbye. Goodbye school. It zeroes out the whole last five minutes.
June Diane Raphael [00:13:39] There’s so many things in this movie like that. So in the mine, they are the plan. The big plan to kill these bats is to get a giant cooler, like a giant air conditioner down there. But they have to go and just turn it on.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:55] It’s already there. This great news. It’s already there.
June Diane Raphael [00:13:57] Why not turn it on before you’ve dropped it in?
Paul Scheer [00:14:00] Well, because they wanted to get it in deep enough. They don’t want to scare the bats out.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:06] So you’re saying that sound of it on would have scared them?
Paul Scheer [00:14:10] Air conditioners and bats are like people moving in T-Rexes. So if an air conditioner is on, they’re going to get freaked out. But if you just slow lower, they are. Oh, what’s nothing. I don’t see anything. Yes.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:23] Here’s another question. You know, they’re in the mine. Why not just close off all the entrances?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:28] Okay, well, this brings up a problem that I have, too, So. And I guess I’m. I know that I think I’m going answer my own question is that they had to turn on the refrigeration unit because I was like, what’s the difference between blowing up the dynamite at the top of the mine and the bombs that the airplanes would have dropped on it anyway?
Ike Barinholtz [00:14:47] They needed to turn the machine on and get out and blow the door before any bats got out.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:51] So that is okay. I guess that’s it.
Ike Barinholtz [00:14:52] Yeah, the movie makes sense. Guys, chill.
June Diane Raphael [00:14:56] All right.
Paul Scheer [00:14:56] I will say this. The opening sequence. We’re about to see this young man and girl. They’re in the car and.
Ike Barinholtz [00:15:03] He’s about to pin her. It was very 1955.
Paul Scheer [00:15:06] Yes. Very like it felt like, Oh, this is a small town unaffected by 1999 culture. This is a year before 2000.
Ike Barinholtz [00:15:14] It was like the opening of Thriller.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:18] When I looked it up and saw that it was 1999. I was I truly was like 92. This felt very early nineties. This is giving me big twister vibes.
Ike Barinholtz [00:15:27] Well, I was trying to figure out what spawned this movie like, right. What what was successful a couple of years before that?
Paul Scheer [00:15:35] Because arachnophobia had already been out early.
Ike Barinholtz [00:15:38] Like eight years before that.
Paul Scheer [00:15:39] I feel like this was in a time of like, Lake Placid. Like big. Big, scary things. Anaconda.
Ike Barinholtz [00:15:49] Outbreak sphere kicker.
Paul Scheer [00:15:51] Yes. Hundred. Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:52] It’s also like I mean it twister because this also had like big like the P.O.V. from the bats from the sky from like when.
Paul Scheer [00:16:02] When that POV of the bat comes on I’m like this movie looks like shit Like it’s like it’s a weird lens.
Ike Barinholtz [00:16:07] Different lens. Yeah. Yeah, I do like at the end of the cold open, they’re like, they’re letting you know, these aren’t just bats. These are Texas bats, which means they’re armed and deny we need health coverage.
Paul Scheer [00:16:22] All those bats were wearing those shirts that say back off or I’m a fucking big dog. They all have big dog shirts.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:29] All the bats are like, we want private power. We don’t want the government to give us power.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:34] This movie does make certain choices that were honestly very compelling, like the the mayor, for example, I would like to watch an entire movie about. I was so obsessed with her.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:47] She’s incredible.
Ike Barinholtz [00:16:48] She she deserves her own, like, prestige, drama, eight episodes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:53] If this movie was about something that wasn’t bats, it would be I’m not kidding. It would be a classic because the set pieces are a blast, but every time they cut to like the threat, it’s laughable because they are. It’s just those jacked bats.
Ike Barinholtz [00:17:08] It’s a bunch.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:09] Who are like, wherever our meat, our leads are, the jacked bats like Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show are perched somewhere above like (screaming noises).
Ike Barinholtz [00:17:22] It’s just a bunch of jacked Texas bats, dude, So many bats have moved from L.A. to Texas. Oh, yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:28] It’s like, Oh, yeah, They don’t want to pay taxes. And they have a big stand-up career.
Ike Barinholtz [00:17:32] You see Joe Rogan interviewing that bat last week?
Paul Scheer [00:17:34] You know, and that bat is not an expert, but they ask some good questions about us.
Ike Barinholtz [00:17:38] So, so, so, so you you’re awake at night, but you’re asleep during the, that’s so fucking a wild.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:45] Here’s the thing. Bats. Bats. Love. Bats loves cigars.
Ike Barinholtz [00:17:51] Jamie, pull up the clip of. Pull up the clip of that bat. The man bat. Have you heard about the man bat?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:57] I thought he was the It was interesting to me. He was like, Hey, hey, bat, Hey, bat. Have you heard about the pyramids? And all of the gold had to have come from outer space.
Ike Barinholtz [00:18:08] You heard about this, right? Jimmy, pull up that video.
Ike Barinholtz [00:18:13] This show brought to you by YouTube shorts.
Paul Scheer [00:18:17] And what I love about this movie is it does have a lot of elements to your point of like what was it based on and Jurrasic Park feels like part of it because it’s like I feel like there was an era where it was like, we’re going to choper to a scientist somewhere. It’s like we we never see that part. But like. Like we’ll fly to them. They’re never driving to the scientists like that helicopter.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:41] That’s a $4 million trip, just a chopper to CDC scientists, to a remote site to just to get a bat expert.
Ike Barinholtz [00:18:51] And there’s just five of them, like the most of the movie. There’s there’s your friend, Dina meyer. Yeah, Diz from Starship Troopers. She’s great. Leon. I remember from the Madonna video. Remember that? Of course, he was legit hilarious. I thought, oh, every line he ate like like early on, he’s like, man, I hate bats. And she’s like, why do you do this job? He’s like, I want to have sex with you. I’m into you. He’s like, super horny. Everyone’s horny.
Paul Scheer [00:19:20] And it was funny because every now and then his jokes undercut plot and then they had to, like, walk it back. It’s like, you can’t say, I know nothing about bats. And then later go, I made this mock up of how the bats got.
Ike Barinholtz [00:19:34] Worked on this for years.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:35] He’s like the computer guy doing all that stuff. And he’s like, Yes, Afraid of bats. Dina Meyer at the very beginning of the movie, very boldly says, I will kill no bat. Then I think proceeds to kill thousands of bats.
Paul Scheer [00:19:54] When she says we have to annihilate them like it said was such like, Wow. Like, these are real.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:04] That’s it’s great. The gravitas moments of this movie. It’s a great comparison to Jurassic Park because those moments land when it’s T-Rex and dinosaurs. But when those guys come out in the helicopter and she says, What’s going on? And they say, “Bats. Dr. Caspar It’s bats.” What are we doing? We can’t do that.
June Diane Raphael [00:20:30] Here’s what I wanted. I really wanted to see why she loved bats so much. I never felt like a good quick get behind it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:43] She has a story, but I wish it had been a flashback.
June Diane Raphael [00:20:46] It should. Should’ve been a flashback. And I just. I guess it did.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:48] I will finance that flashback.
June Diane Raphael [00:20:50] I did feel like, oh, there were points where she seemed to be able to connect to the sonar of the bats and the call. And I thought, is she part bat?
Ike Barinholtz [00:21:01] Her mother was a bat.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:03] Or she got bit by a bat.
Paul Scheer [00:21:07] Nothing about the way she performed because I do like her performance. But the story is flawed. It’s like I was a child.
Ike Barinholtz [00:21:14] Are you sure about that?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:15] You’re telling me the story of bats?
Paul Scheer [00:21:18] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Her story of why she likes bats Because she’s like, Oh, yeah, I was a child and I was fucking scared of a bat. My dad’s like, I’m going to make you hold one. That that felt like more traumatic to me. And then she’s like and then I held it and it was so delicate and I loved it. It’s like and then my dad said, It’s not that bad. It pollinates the forest and she’s like, okay, that’s my that’s my profession. Like, it’s like it was a quick jump.
June Diane Raphael [00:21:45] And I have to say, and I’ve never held a bat. Don’t want to. Won’t. But I have like there’s no way that you held a bat and felt any sort of maternal affection towards it.
Paul Scheer [00:21:57] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:58] Maybe you would be like maybe it would be like, oh, okay, I’m not as scared anymore.
June Diane Raphael [00:22:04] Oh, I got to take care of these guys. Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:22:07] I hesitate to tell this story again, but I will. My stepfather captured possums and and
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:16] Here we go.
Paul Scheer [00:22:20] And for for Halloween would put them on our doorstep. So kids coming to trick or treat would be really freaked out by these possums trying to get out of their cages.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:41] Paul, I know that for me, when I grew up, we would put up Halloween decorations. And they might be out there for a couple of weeks. Was the possum in a cage on your porch for weeks?
Paul Scheer [00:22:56] No. Just
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:59] It’s time to take the possum in. It’s Thanksgiving.
Ike Barinholtz [00:23:02] Now put up the Christmas possum.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:09] I mean, 13 years in and we’ve never heard this.
Paul Scheer [00:23:16] We used to catch possums in this like trap that we keep them alive and my stepfather thought, well, this is the greatest time to use all these traps. We laid them all around the front door so kids would walk up to our front door, and then all these cages were rattling with live possums in them.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:37] June, June, June. Has Paul at all asked if he can do this at your house?
June Diane Raphael [00:23:45] So here’s what’s interesting. I had never really been into like Halloween decor. And I have notice Paul said right here, right now that every year we are bringing more attractions into our Halloween experience.
Paul Scheer [00:24:01] Well, when I found this thing that you can drill into a tree, that’s a face and arms. Yeah, I’m going to fucking buy that. Do I have a clown that when you walk by him, he’s activated and steam shoots out of his mouth? Yes. Have I freaked out the the the mailman? Yes. These things happen.
Ike Barinholtz [00:24:29] I mean, if you go to the P.O. Box now because the Postal Service will not deliver to you.
Paul Scheer [00:24:33] They don’t want to be breathed on by a clown crawling out of our garden.
Ike Barinholtz [00:24:37] The third carrier had a heart attack in a week. We have to end this.
Paul Scheer [00:24:42] No, it was. It was always like I didn’t think of it as weird, but the the possums watching the possums in the trapper reminded to me of these creatures.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:57] Well those were real animals suffering.
Paul Scheer [00:25:00] It was a it was a no kill trap. Oh, it was a no kill.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:04] Sure. Sure.
Paul Scheer [00:25:06] We would. We would then pilot traps in the car and then drive out far away and release them.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:14] Into into a lake. We would release them into a river.
Paul Scheer [00:25:21] I, i, I also thought, like, talking about, like Dina meyer telling the story about her dad making her touch a bat. Then it also felt like Lou Diamond Phillips had a fucked up childhood too, because he’s like blood moon. My mom always told me when a blood moon happens, someone gets killed.
June Diane Raphael [00:25:38] That was crazy.
Paul Scheer [00:25:38] Your mom taught you that?
Ike Barinholtz [00:25:39] He was also in that scene. He was. I was really mid to late nineties where the the coolest, hottest thing a man could do is suck on a cigar. You know what I mean? He’s got a cigar, like four times maybe. It’s like, Oh, you think he’s cool Now watch him suck on this six inch turd fucking. You’re going to fall in love, Dina Meyer. Very, very 1998 energy.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:02] I love that. He was like, loved opera. I believe brought his own opera album.
June Diane Raphael [00:26:09] I had that question too. Was it in the car with him?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:15] So that’s very important to him. Never comes up again. And he basically is like, Please don’t tell the guys downtown.
Ike Barinholtz [00:26:24] Also, I will say like I think moments before they go into the school and they start the montage, the other there is the guy from Shawshank who’s like the bad guy. And then there’s his deputy who’s great actor named Carlos Jacott. He was Ramon, the pool boy from Seinfeld. He gets killed by the bats. And like they it’s like 10 seconds later, Lou Diamond Phillips makes a joke and Dina Myers, like and then they’re in the montage, it was like like it was going like this man just died. He was a colleague of yours. Could someone call his family maybe?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:57] Not even.
Ike Barinholtz [00:26:58] Hey, Carlos, is dead. Yeah, bats got him.
Paul Scheer [00:27:00] Didn’t even cover him up because he gets killed at night. And then all of a sudden there’s a photographer. Like cover this man.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:10] You’ve got to figure that the bats killed 300 people that night.
Ike Barinholtz [00:27:14] This. But the thing is, in in the attacks, it seemed to me that they would kill one person and then all leave. Like they’re like, all right, we killed the one person for the night. Let’s go.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:25] They the bats. This does give me Jaws three vibes in that it seems to be that the bats are seeking revenge and that is something I wish I wasn’t saying to the crowd, but it is. The bats appear. The two main bats who escaped the lab appeared to only want to kill the doctor. The professor.
Ike Barinholtz [00:27:48] Yes. Right, Right.
June Diane Raphael [00:27:51] I don’t think that’s true.
Ike Barinholtz [00:27:57] They killed the two dudes, but once the professor is there, they’re like, they’re going after him.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:01] And he’s like, they want me. Yeah, I can control them.
June Diane Raphael [00:28:05] It’s hard because they were killing so many other people before and after, to be quite honest.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:12] Some of those people were horny so bad.
June Diane Raphael [00:28:14] Well, they deserve to die. Yeah, I’ve always said that.
Ike Barinholtz [00:28:17] Everyone. Lou Diamond Phillips, LDP, very horny in this film, constantly making, like, jokes to Dina Meyer.
Paul Scheer [00:28:22] Like this reminds me of fishnet.
Ike Barinholtz [00:28:24] Yeah, yeah, but. But you.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:27] Why is that joke told?
June Diane Raphael [00:28:28] I don’t know.
Ike Barinholtz [00:28:29] Because it’s great. Because it’s a great joke.
Paul Scheer [00:28:32] Because it’s like they realize, Oh, the theater will be laughing so hard. But we need to again, for the I.
Ike Barinholtz [00:28:42] Also I got to say again, the two thirds of this movie, when all this is going out, there’s five of them. The minute the CDC showed up, they should have been like, fucking call Washington, get Bill Clinton. Well, like, where’s Bill Clinton?
Paul Scheer [00:28:55] But to your point, I just realized when June.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:59] I wish this movie had the line of dialog “Where’s Bill Clinton?” It would have solved so much.
Ike Barinholtz [00:29:05] If there is a scene with Bill Clinton where Bill Clinton like and it’s the Bill Clinton playing himself in this movie, and he has to give like a press conference where he’s like, we will not let this country be torn apart by bats. I feel your bats.
Paul Scheer [00:29:19] I would have even settled for John Travolta as Bill Clinton from Primary Colors. Yeah, but there is a moment where you just said it. You know, I just realized that Lou Diamond Phillips isn’t even the sheriff of this town. The sheriff.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:31] He is.
Paul Scheer [00:29:32] Well, then who’s the sheriff?
June Diane Raphael [00:29:33] She’s the mayor.
Paul Scheer [00:29:34] Oh, the mayor.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:36] That woman is the mayor who gets cut.
Paul Scheer [00:29:38] She is the sheriff. He’s the mayor. Two shows I grew up with. Oh, yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:29:44] Well, here’s the here’s the interesting thing about how the bats attack, because there are times where, again, I do still have some questions about the difference between the radioactive bats and the regular bats, but the regular bats seem to be able to kill someone very quickly just by biting their necks.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:03] Sure, it does seem that way.
June Diane Raphael [00:30:04] It sure does seem that way.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:06] And overwhelming people with like bats.
June Diane Raphael [00:30:09] Well, and that I can understand, like a swarm of anything, honestly.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:13] What’s a group of bats called? I kept writing a flock of bats and I was like, That can’t be right. Because that seagulls just like Jonathan Livingston. But do we know.
Paul Scheer [00:30:23] A roost? Right. Is it a roost?
Ike Barinholtz [00:30:25] A roost of bats?
Paul Scheer [00:30:26] Let’s see.
Ike Barinholtz [00:30:26] Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:27] I’m going to say a murder. A murder of crows.
Audience Member [00:30:29] A colony.
June Diane Raphael [00:30:33] Colony.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:33] Tim, give it up for Tim everybody.
June Diane Raphael [00:30:36] Tim knows everything.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:39] Well done, Tim.
Paul Scheer [00:30:39] Well, okay, so let’s hear the like, we can watch the doctor here describe what these bats are, because I think they’re. I’m agreeing with you and I think all these bats are we’re, we’re gotten something interesting. This is my favorite scene in the whole movie, actually.
Movie Audio [00:30:54] Tell me, Dr. McCabe, what exactly did you do to them?
Movie Audio [00:30:57] I’m sorry, but again, I’m not allowed to say.
Movie Audio [00:31:01] Now, that’s bullshit. Those things are killing people in my town. And as far as I can tell, you’re directly responsible for that.
Movie Audio [00:31:07] We need to know what we’re dealing with here, doctor.
Movie Audio [00:31:09] I’m kind of curious myself now that you mention it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:12] Ghost. Ghost. Nobody heard him. Oh.
Movie Audio [00:31:15] I’ll tell you what. You let me know how I do. You’ve somehow increased their natural intelligence.
Movie Audio [00:31:22] Yes.
Paul Scheer [00:31:23] Here’s my favorite.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:24] He’s in a sixth sense movie. Leon is.
Paul Scheer [00:31:30] This is the best moment. They say that he’s dead. Here we go. Or I’m going to rewind it Here we go. Quickly.
Movie Audio [00:31:38] You let me know how I do. You’ve somehow increased their natural intelligence.
Movie Audio [00:31:44] Yes. And their ability to work together communally.
Movie Audio [00:31:48] Well, that’s not so bad, right? We could all use a little dose of that.
Movie Audio [00:31:51] Then you made them aggressive.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:52] Ghost.
Movie Audio [00:31:55] Finally you made them carnivores. No, Dr. Casper. I made them omnivorous. Put my bats anywhere in the world and they will feed. Why would you do that? Because I’m a scientist. That’s what we do. We make everything a little better. Bigger livestock, better crop yields.
Movie Audio [00:32:19] Millions of years of evolutionary arrogance. To think that you could do better.
Movie Audio [00:32:23] Apparently I have Dr. Casper.
Ike Barinholtz [00:32:27] How does more bats give you a better crop yield?
Paul Scheer [00:32:29] I love that moment, though, because he goes, We made them work together. That’s good. Then they kill people. That’s bad. Like you. Like you needed someone to be like. Just in case the audience isn’t following it. Some things are good and some things are bad. But you’ll be there. You’ll be the voice of the audience.
Ike Barinholtz [00:32:47] It’s such a thing. They also knew they had this big reveal of they’ve weaponized the bats for the Department of Defense.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:53] And they really wait to say that they’re turning them into weapons when that’s clearly, clearly.
Ike Barinholtz [00:32:57] Clearly what’s happening. They clearly had nothing at the scene to go. Crop yields. That’s right.
Paul Scheer [00:33:03] Why would they need to be able to kill people for crop yields? But they also, like set up stuff that you don’t see payoff like that scientists in his dark nut laboratory.
Ike Barinholtz [00:33:13] I’m sorry. Can we talk about the lab? The lighting in the lab for a sec?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:17] All blue.
Ike Barinholtz [00:33:17] Holy fucking shit. This is a laboratory. You need lights. The lights in the lab are off. There is magic hour sunlight shooting through the windows into the floor. And then he’s looking at a sample with a tiny light.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:33] There’s also fog. The diner is also seems to be as if the power has gone out. Yes. And the emergency lights have turned on. And they’re like, well, this is what we’re doing.
Paul Scheer [00:33:45] Every place in town looks like they have no power. And then they reveal power in a crazy way, like the kid playing a video game. Oh, no, no. We’re fully loaded. But the town is dark. Like it is comically dark.
Ike Barinholtz [00:33:59] I feel like they destroyed a real town for this movie, which is kind of cool.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:05] Some of those set pieces with big car crashes and explosions. I was like, This looks good.
Ike Barinholtz [00:34:09] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:10] I thought that the I thought that the scientists. I thought he was in his hotel room.
Paul Scheer [00:34:16] Wait. That when he was looking through the microscope? Yeah, because. Well, this is troubling.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:22] He doesn’t live there.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:24] In the school? Because he also does look when they’re in the school.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:29] No definitely the lab.
Ike Barinholtz [00:34:32] I could see him being like, All right, I’m on the way.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:37] I could have sworn I saw a bed in that room.
Paul Scheer [00:34:39] Well, sometimes the cops work so hard, they, you know, they nap. They nap too. There is a moment that I love in this movie. It’s going to be hard to explain, but I’ll try. Where it starts off on on the pool boy from Seinfeld is great and he’s on the phone and the camera pans off of him and it goes onto the scientist who’s looking in the microscope. But in a normal movie, they would be like, yes, well, I’m right here. And then that voice would kind of trickle out and we’d just be focused on music and the guy in the lab. But while he’s looking, they keep his volume up. The guy is like, “Oh, yeah, no, she’s very nice. I don’t think so. We’ll probably meet them up later. Well, they don’t need to know anything. Yeah, sure. I think. A pizza? Sure. I mean, I like them, but I love them. You know, like, get a salad, too, maybe. Okay.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:25] This movie does a lot of that where in, like, somebody will be deeply foregrounded in an extreme close up, big face, bad guy, and then right to the side will be all three other cast members, like 13 feet away in the deep background. And it’s like the movie is visually in a way, very interesting for what it is because they’re trying to do something. But a lot of times I was like, What is going on? This feels like kids being like, Let’s make a movie.
Ike Barinholtz [00:35:55] That scene I think we were just talking about when they’re in the lab, I remember being like, How much fucking longer is in this movie? And I looked at the counter and only 17 minutes had gone by.
June Diane Raphael [00:36:05] Listen, when the military, Ike , when the military called and said that they were sending in the the air troopers or whatever they were in 62 minutes, I was like. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
Ike Barinholtz [00:36:21] That moment where you see the F-16 scrambling, the funniest shit so clearly from a different film, like I imagine the director said of the line producer early on, Hey, I would love, if possible, we can get a couple of shots of F-16 scrambling.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:36] You know what we just did Iron Eagle. We can get it.
Paul Scheer [00:36:39] You’re right. Iron Eagle 2. Yes.
Ike Barinholtz [00:36:42] Is it? That’s what it is?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:44] What?
Paul Scheer [00:36:44] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:45] I did not know that.
Ike Barinholtz [00:36:47] I just thought it was a random, like Department of Defense industrial film from like 1982, which is literally, which is basically what Iron Eagle is. But he did not get that. And it looks like it’s a different film.
Paul Scheer [00:36:57] It’s like it’s different film stock. It’s shockingly different like and that’s the weird thing about the movie is like they also do the giant massacre, like the end of the movie massacre right in the middle. It’s like, Well, we’re not going to top this. 300 people killed in the town. It’s like now going to become like a oh, like a room drama like this. Well, the.
June Diane Raphael [00:37:18] That’s why I was so fascinated by this mayor, because she did tell everybody to get inside.
Paul Scheer [00:37:23] And did they listen?
Ike Barinholtz [00:37:27] Because you know what?
June Diane Raphael [00:37:28] Also Texas.
Ike Barinholtz [00:37:29] It’s Texas. Friday Night Football, you don’t mess with that.
June Diane Raphael [00:37:32] That’s also Texas.
Ike Barinholtz [00:37:33] I don’t care if I’m going to get eaten by a bat. Oh, I’m going to watch my gigantic grandson develop CTE at 17.
June Diane Raphael [00:37:45] I could not believe they didn’t show what I would have paid to see that woman, that mayor go around and somehow get the word out that the bats are here. I would pay very good money to see that scene.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:01] I guarantee you, this town is full of anti-batters.
Paul Scheer [00:38:07] Here is. Here is my theory.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:11] Don’t applaud that. That was a litmus test. You failed. Don’t.
Paul Scheer [00:38:15] My theory is this. This movie. The term bats is just stupid. Like giving bats too much. It’s like. It just is stupid. I don’t know. And so Avril cut together a montage of the amount of times that people say the word bats.
Ike Barinholtz [00:38:31] Wow.
Movie Audio [00:38:35] [Repitition of Bats like 100 times]
Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:08] Incredible stuff.
June Diane Raphael [00:39:10] I think this is what must have happened. I think that initially they might have thought like, well, we’ll just the bats are the bats are bats and they’ll be killer bats. And that’ll be really scary to see all those bats as killer bats. But then they must have shot some of those bats and thought like, Oh, this doesn’t work at all. And then they made just two crazy looking pterodactyls because the bats look like puppets. Yeah, it’s because that’s what was so tough about the movie. I kept on thinking to myself, This is a movie about bats. This is a movie about bats.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:47] We you needed to remind yourself?
June Diane Raphael [00:39:49] I did, actually, because what I was seeing bore no resemblance to a bat.
Ike Barinholtz [00:39:56] Yeah, you’re right. They were definitely the same puppets they use for, like, Ghoulies.
Paul Scheer [00:39:59] Yes!
Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:02] They definitely felt like little demons of some sort. Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:40:06] Munchies.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:08] It felt like munchies. The other really weird puppet to me was the baby puppet.
Ike Barinholtz [00:40:15] Oh, that was the baby from American Sniper. I don’t know if you guys knew that, but it goes in the crib.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:21] I was so upset by the way that baby looked. And I know that the movie wanted me to feel nervous about the baby and I wanted to, but I was like, that baby is scaring me more than that bat.
Ike Barinholtz [00:40:34] It was very upsetting. It was almost as upsetting as, again, great actor, but Carlos Jacott’s haircut, they were like, So you’re a CDC scientist. We’re going to make you look like Ringo Starr, 1960 fucking eight.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:46] You are in Hermits. Herman’s Hermits. You’re in a Herman’s Hermits cover band.
Ike Barinholtz [00:40:51] Your character name is Peter Noone.
Paul Scheer [00:40:53] Your bangs need to be lower. Cover all your eyes. You should look like. Like an old school cartoon character.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:59] By the way, though, they gave him a really heroic moment. I mean, he sacrificed his life.
Ike Barinholtz [00:41:05] He was a good guy.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:06] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:07] Trying to save, you know, and Dina meyer, who is in this and is I can’t remember what Doctor what’s her name? Doctor Sheila is her first name, but Doctor Carter?
Paul Scheer [00:41:16] Doctor Casper.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:17] Dr. Casper. And nobody is calling her Doctor Casper in this movie. Everybody’s like, Hey, Sheila, get over here. And they’re meanwhile talking to like, the the bad guy is like, Doctor, what’s his name? He’s like, the bad guy. No, she’s the doctor.
Ike Barinholtz [00:41:34] Dr. Ward Norton from Shawshank. It was very there was a lot of a lot of outbreak vibes because this movie is only available, I believe, on FreeVee, which has ads. I kept toggling over to other tabs to watch clips on YouTube during the ads, and I went down a outbreak wormhole and then I went through a JT Walsh wormhole. Best amazing actor. And then that got me in a Sling Blade wormhole. And I found out I watched a video called Five Reasons Why John Ritter Didn’t like Sling Blade.
Paul Scheer [00:42:06] Whoa.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:08] Which has to be truthful.
Ike Barinholtz [00:42:09] The videos on YouTube are always right. They’re always the truth. The first reason was he didn’t like his haircut. But then the movie had started. So I had to toggle over and I didn’t watch the last four. It’s not a great story, but it happened like they said. I mean, I like something.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:26] For 2.99, I rented the movie and didn’t look back.
Paul Scheer [00:42:30] For 14.99 I bought it because I knew I was going to have to watch it on multiple devices. And I was right.
Ike Barinholtz [00:42:36] Well when you watch a movie, you want to watch it the way the filmmaker intended. Like I went to Hollywood Boulevard to the IMAX to see it.
Paul Scheer [00:42:45] 70 millimeter print.
Ike Barinholtz [00:42:46] I watched this on a broken iPad on a toilet, and it was like, perfect.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:53] This movie written by John Logan. Right?
Paul Scheer [00:42:55] So I was going to bring this up. John Logan wrote Skyfall, Rango, The Aviator, Gladiator, Alien Covenant, Specter, Hugo, Sweeney Todd, Last Samurai. Any Given Sunday.
Ike Barinholtz [00:43:08] Did he write this movie when he was like a little boy?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:12] He wrote this movie on a dare.
Paul Scheer [00:43:15] What it what is wild about this movie, it’s one of his first credits, but this movie was produced in just five months, one of the fastest produced 35 millimeter feature films from script to screen to receive a wide release.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:28] What’s so crazy is it seems as though they spent so much time on it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:33] They they they got the script and hired the director in May. Production began in June and July. They shot for 36 days. They edited including 250 visual effects, scored and mixed in August and September.
Ike Barinholtz [00:43:48] They cast 3000 bats.
Paul Scheer [00:43:50] And they released it on 2540 screens in October. So from May to October.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:58] And they really thought this was going to be big. They like to release it that wide and like that they must have thought this we’re sitting on a gold mine.
Ike Barinholtz [00:44:05] Hurry up, guys. Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:44:06] Well, I think it’s like they need to get out for Halloween. But I will say there are moments that creep me out. The movie is not, like, incredibly bloody. But that moment when all the bats are on the car, the car was disgusting, really weird. And it was like.
Ike Barinholtz [00:44:22] I got to say too, I love when the bat’s coming through and she grabs the cigaret lighter.
June Diane Raphael [00:44:26] I love that.
Ike Barinholtz [00:44:27] That’s a joke. You couldn’t do any more because the cancel culture.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:30] Oh.
June Diane Raphael [00:44:34] Alright, Ike.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:39] Is this when you want your spotlight?
Ike Barinholtz [00:44:41] Let me ask the question bat what do you think when you think about all this cancel culture? Do you guys deal with that in the bat world? Because in here it’s fucking crazy.
June Diane Raphael [00:44:52] There is another moment. I was genuinely creeped out where one of the I think one of the real big bats, the killer bats like tapped on someone’s shoulder like a human shoulder. Yeah. Yeah, that it was really.
Paul Scheer [00:45:11] The tiny fingers and hands. The bats are so weird. Like when that bat is is crawling up like the tailpipe. Like it’s like. Like John McClane in Die Hard. Just like.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:20] And here’s what I’ll say. Yes, we were. We are watching a movie where we’re our heroes are human people who are trying to survive this bat nightmare. Alla birds or something like that. But boy, the movie should be about the bats who escape a torture lab where they then are able to exact revenge on their torturer. Their story is the heroic one here. I want to watch only the story of these bats. Maybe they link up with Amy from Congo.
Paul Scheer [00:45:53] That’s the movie. That’s the team up movie. By the way, I just want to shout out Jimmy one more time because Jimmy says a line that I wrote down that I love. He goes, Yeah, he wrote “Bravo, like they say in the opera.” Like, I don’t know if you needed to. Bravo would have worked. But then I was like, Oh, is that a dig on Diamond Phillips? Okay, sure. But it also felt like he was just doing these jokes for himself.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:25] And I think he might be a ghost.
Ike Barinholtz [00:46:27] So can I tell you what was my favorite line in this movie? And I’ll do my imitation of Lou Diamond Phillips saying it. So when they are in the cave in the space suits in the mines, whatever the fuck. He goes. “Wait a minute. If there’s this much guano in here. Oh, Jesus Christ.”
Paul Scheer [00:46:51] By the way, they are in a river of shit, like up to their kneecaps. A river.
June Diane Raphael [00:47:02] Up to their chests. And we did see the amount of bats that were in that roost. And I have a lot of questions about their digestive systems because that is so much.
Paul Scheer [00:47:14] Do bats have diarrhea?
Ike Barinholtz [00:47:16] All the time. Only diarrhea. Man. Remember, between Ace Ventura and this movie, Guano was so hot. Guano was in. It had a moment.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:25] And one of the bats is able to unlock Lou Diamond Phillips’ space helmet.
Ike Barinholtz [00:47:34] Takes his helmet off.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:35] And it’s not as if he’s being swarmed by bats and it pops up. A single bat is like, well, here’s the line of the whatever, the oxygen line or whatever, and then pops the helmet right off and Lou Diamond Phillips is then bitten by the bat and then walks through guano. This guy is dead. He’s got guano in all of those wounds.
Ike Barinholtz [00:47:55] When the bats on him and she she shoots the bat and then there’s like a little explosion and you get the blue lightning bolts that you used to see in nineties movies. And it just made me think. It made me appreciate James Cameron’s Blue Lightning bolts. Sure. And again, I imagine the director being like, I want top of the line blue lightning bolts. I want that the James Cameron. And they’re like, Yeah, for sure. And then like a week into shooting, the line producer’s was like, Hey, we couldn’t do that. We have the guy who did the fucking Garbage Pail Kids movie. He’s going to do the Blue Lightning and the drugs. Like, we’ve got bigger problems than that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:32] And we do have the costume for Alligator if we need it for anything at all.
June Diane Raphael [00:48:38] I laughed so hard. There are a couple of moments in that final sequence that really got me good one. That one bat woke up and was like.
Ike Barinholtz [00:48:45] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:48:49] I laughed so hard. And then when when our heroes are racing out of the mine, those bats and all of them are flying after them, but just sort of paced right behind them. Never they never catch up.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:07] When they get in the elevator and the bats are just right below them.
June Diane Raphael [00:49:10] Just right there.
Ike Barinholtz [00:49:11] We’ve all been in a room with a bat. They’re the fastest things on earth.
Paul Scheer [00:49:15] Well, that’s what that’s why when Lou Diamond Phillips takes out his gun in a car like, what the fuck are you going to do? You’re going to kill Dana meyer. You’re you’re going to kill yourself.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:24] It’s crazy how much people are shooting bats with handguns.
Ike Barinholtz [00:49:29] With revolvers with fucking revolvers.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:33] Shotguns. I understand that’s a very wide spread. But for people to be like, bam, bam. Dina meyer is a doctor of batology. She’s like. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like.
Ike Barinholtz [00:49:47] But they’re also missing a lot. I’m like, early on, like, you’re in Texas, go to any child’s birthday party and get an AK 47. It’s there. Machine guns. That’s what’s going to kill these things. Not a fucking six shooter, Annie Oakley.
Paul Scheer [00:50:00] Let’s go to the crowd.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:01] Everybody’s given an AR 15.
Paul Scheer [00:50:06] All right, Let’s see what we have in the crowd. We have a hand raised right over here. Okay. What do we got here, sir? Your name, your question?
Audience Member [00:50:14] Pete. My main question is to talk about the necklace. And the idea that she had a necklace. And I forget why it was. But then to put it around the guy that the scientist who saved her, but he just got eaten by the bats. And I know it had something to do with the bats.
Paul Scheer [00:50:30] It was a good luck. She goes, It’s an ancient Chinese symbol that gave her good luck because bats and Chinese culture are a good omen.
Audience Member [00:50:37] Yes, but they killed him.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:44] The necklace was both not a talisman that protected her. And it was a form of mockery by putting it on him.
Ike Barinholtz [00:50:52] I got to say, too, I must have, like, been watching like, a Kitchen Nightmares clip my other tab because I have no memory of a necklace.
June Diane Raphael [00:51:02] Well, it wasn’t as much a necklace as it was like a choker, you know? It was like a piece of black fabric.
Ike Barinholtz [00:51:10] Well, every man wants to have a choker put on him as he’s dying.
Paul Scheer [00:51:16] She choked him out. Okay. Yes. Your name. Oh, I love your shirt, your name, your question.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:21] Oh, what’s the shirt?
Paul Scheer [00:51:22] It’s. It’s Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park.
Audience Member [00:51:27] So, to answer June’s question.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:28] What’s your name!?
Audience Member [00:51:32] Too much pressure. My name is Matt.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:34] Thank you, Matt.
Audience Member [00:51:36] To answer June’s question from the beginning, the two jacked bats were like Indonesian fox bats or something, and those were the ones that the he did science on and they had.
June Diane Raphael [00:51:49] You’re saying, Matt, you’re saying that’s their normal size?
Ike Barinholtz [00:51:53] They are large.
Audience Member [00:51:54] I guess, but their virus infected the other regular bats. But my question is, when they’re doing the montage and boarding up the school, he’s like, Hey, I contacted the bats. They’re coming to get you and I’m going to rule them and stuff.
June Diane Raphael [00:52:11] I forgot about that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:15] Matt, do you know how he did that?
Audience Member [00:52:16] I think he used a bat phone.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:21] Can you show Matt out?
Ike Barinholtz [00:52:22] And thank you for your service, sir.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:26] Can Matt, be shown out, please?
Paul Scheer [00:52:29] He definitely. He certainly had some bat communicator because I think earlier in the movie, when the Jeep is being attacked, all their eyes turn red and they’re like, We’re out of here. And I think he hit it, by the way. And I just.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:46] Some sort of controller or there was going to be some reveal that he was able to communicate with control or something. But I never felt like it was laid out for us. I’m sorry.
Paul Scheer [00:52:56] I just want to point out an amazing costume here in the crowd. We have two costumes here. Yeah. Look at these costumes. Some bat costumes. Amazing. Very scary.
Audience Member [00:53:10] Okay. One. So flying foxes are fruit bats. They’re adorable. And they eat bananas. They look like little flying like dogs. They’re super cute puppies. He calls them, like, the ugliest thing in the world. Two. There’s a bridge in Austin that’s completely been taken over by bats and is now protected by. And I think the bats. The bat scientist Merlin Tuttle, was the one who kind of got that all underway.
June Diane Raphael [00:53:35] What do you mean completely taken over by bats?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:39] No, I’ve actually I’ve actually seen this.
Audience Member [00:53:42] June, avoid the bridge. I do have a good tip for you, though. So bats also are one of the primary. They may be the primary pollinator for agave. So if you like tequila, bats.
June Diane Raphael [00:53:51] I mean, I thank them for all they do. I don’t want to interact with them.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:56] We thank bats for their service.
Ike Barinholtz [00:54:05] I’m in a first class seat, I see a bat, I give him my seat.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:06] Let me be clear. I love bats. American bats.
Audience Member [00:54:12] American bats.
Paul Scheer [00:54:16] Wow. Yeah. This is all the stuff that she had. She loves bats. Amazing.
Ike Barinholtz [00:54:25] Fantastic. So great.
June Diane Raphael [00:54:27] Amazing.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:30] And an amazing bat costume. Thank you for both your knowledge and your commitment to the costume.
Ike Barinholtz [00:54:35] Yes.
Paul Scheer [00:54:37] Okay. Your name and your question.
Audience Member [00:54:41] Hi, I’m Ethan. And my question is, how did the bat know how to take apart a car? Which they do to the police?
Paul Scheer [00:54:51] Well, because all bats, they have to learn how to survive. So some I mean, that’s that was part of it.
Ike Barinholtz [00:54:56] When they were in the lab, the cages were lined with Car and Driver magazines. And they can. Depends on the bat. They can read.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:05] I will say that the doctor does say the doctor does say a number of the bats were on an AP track and some of the bats, though, were on a vocational track. So those are the bats.
Ike Barinholtz [00:55:19] Are you guys driving cars? I heard these bats are driving cars. That’s wild. Jamie, show me that video of that monkey driving a bicycle.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:28] Elon, Elon says the bats are going to be driving these cars.
Ike Barinholtz [00:55:32] Oh, yeah. Bats are epic. I love my bats. I love bats.
Paul Scheer [00:55:38] All right. Your name and your question.
Audience Member [00:55:40] My name is Evelyn. And I want to go back to the necklace, because if you know what the necklace means, it’s even more cruel and strange that she leaves it on his dead body. So that in Chinese is Bianfu. And fu means blessing. So her necklace was actually a symbol of the five blessings, which are one health, two wealth, three long life, four love of virtue and five Peaceful death by Natural causes.
Paul Scheer [00:56:16] Oh, my God. Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:29] Incredible stuff. Oh, shit.
Paul Scheer [00:56:33] Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:35] Wait, was that Evelyn with that?
Audience Member [00:56:37] Yes.
Ike Barinholtz [00:56:38] Amazing.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:39] Give it up for Evelyn. Wow. That was incredible. Oh, wow.
Paul Scheer [00:56:49] Now, obviously, we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.
Audience Member [00:56:58] The bats are engineer, the massacre unfold. Then we see those poor bad bats and we’ve all been trolled when the pets attack. Gallup was aware. Go to Flora Dutton next. I want to send you there. Don’t mess with Texas. Oh, they’re good power. But these are bats. You know that they don’t care. I see their wings. It’s like an angel signed. Texas took our choice. Women have no voice. Patriarchy. The movie is wild. Oh, God. I give it five stars on Amazon. All of the stars. I hear the bats screech.
Paul Scheer [00:58:07] Oh, man.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:12] What’s your name? Jen!Guys, ready for this?
Paul Scheer [00:58:23] I thought I was setting up Jen, I was like, You know what? I’m going to give Jen a break. I won’t have her follow the duet. Now, I’m like, Oh, man.
Ike Barinholtz [00:58:28] Good luck, boys.
Paul Scheer [00:58:30] She knew. She knew. She knew. I should’ve listened. All right, here we go.
Ike Barinholtz [00:58:35] Which Madonna song will you guys be doing?
Audience Member [00:58:37] So I’m Mark. Connor.
Paul Scheer [00:58:40] And now it’s time for second opinions.
Audience Member [00:58:45] If you ain’t watching bats, get the fuck out of Largo. A few of the while left to adjust with the specially cured pressure. Get the fuck out of Largo. They’re waist deep in guano. Get the fuck out of Largo. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Everybody. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. Everybody. Second opinions on the rocks and I’m ready for some bats. Paul calls Amazon every time I’m watching bats the review five stars every time I give them bats. So cups in the air. Everybody. Let’s watch bats.
Paul Scheer [00:59:30] Yes. Give it up.
Ike Barinholtz [00:59:31] Yes.
Paul Scheer [00:59:33] Wow.
Ike Barinholtz [00:59:34] All slapping.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:36] Just escort them out.
Paul Scheer [00:59:39] Oh, my God.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:40] Escort them out. Just you guys keep walking straight through the door.
Paul Scheer [00:59:46] All right, so there are 672.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:51] I feel like the bats version of Shots could chart.
Paul Scheer [00:59:58] Probably could. There are 672 total reviews. 67% are five star reviews. Let’s get into it.
Ike Barinholtz [01:00:08] A lot of the reviewers, their last name, Diamond Phillips and Diamond Phillips.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:16] I will go on record and say, I thought LDP crushed you.
Ike Barinholtz [01:00:19] Fucking crushed it. LDP. LDP always crushing.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:23] And Dina Meyer where absolutely, everybody was great, and most of the time there’s really only four people on screen. I’m going to say 85% of the movie. There’s four people, which is crazy.
Ike Barinholtz [01:00:36] We need an LDP renaissance.
Paul Scheer [01:00:37] LDP brought his own cigars. He brought his own cigars and improvised the majority of his dialog.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:45] Thank God. Thank God.
Ike Barinholtz [01:00:48] That what you said checked out because there was a scene early on when he’s in the truck with her where the scene is only like 12 seconds long. But he says, “Ah ha.” Five times in like 12 seconds. So yeah, him eriffing that I buy that.
Paul Scheer [01:01:05] Yeah, I can improvise. I got it, I got it, I got it.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:08] I loved I loved when Jimmy said the line about this place is as tight as the Alamo. And he goes, Man, it’s maybe not the best, maybe not the best comparison. I felt like they all had chemistry. Even Jimmy the ghost.
Paul Scheer [01:01:22] I mean, even even Jimmy says, Houston, we have a problem.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:25] I do feel like a lot of the movie was improvised.
Paul Scheer [01:01:29] Well, you have to. I mean, you got to be working off these bats. You got to say something. Alright D3 Mighty Ducks wrote this review.
Ike Barinholtz [01:01:37] Wait, a movie reviewed another movie?
Paul Scheer [01:01:40] D3 Mighty Ducks is the username.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:43] Imagine identifying so much with that that you beat them to the identifying moniker.
Paul Scheer [01:01:51] D3 writes “This is a good watch dot dot dot Better to have it playing on in the background. It’s nothing special yet. It’s special to me. Five starts, starts. Five starts for something that did a lot and 90 minutes, five stars, bats.” I just want to go there again. “This is a good watch. Dot, dot, dot. Better to have playing on in the background. It’s nothing special dot, dot, dot yet special to me.”
Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:26] I feel like if the person was allowed to go on, they’d be like, It’s terrible. But to me it’s like, you know, like it really is.
Ike Barinholtz [01:02:33] I mean, it’s okay. It’s no Mighty Ducks three.
Paul Scheer [01:02:38] And then this one is written by a humble opinion. “This is one of my favorite movies. I am into the sci fi aspect of the bats. The fact that this is possible, that this could happen. And I really like Lou Diamond Phillips. The picture shows DNA experimentation and combines that with some comedic responses. This has got to be one of the all time best ooo and yuck movies that doesn’t involve sex or human non-human violence and mutilation for old fashioned bats gone wild flick. This is the greatest.”
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:19] Old fashioned bats Gone Wild? Yeah, I bought those DVDs.
Ike Barinholtz [01:03:23] I had them all. I bought all the bats gone wild.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:25] Old fashioned bats gone wild.
Ike Barinholtz [01:03:28] This bat panama beach will be shows you all eight titties.
Paul Scheer [01:03:33] The ooo and yuck is so funny. Then goes “the acting is good. But I have to say, Leon, for a contributing actor” which is a term I’ve never heard before.
Ike Barinholtz [01:03:43] David Zaslav created that term.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:47] Pencils down, Ike.
Paul Scheer [01:03:49] “I think the acting is good, but I have to say that Leon, for contributing actor is the best. A guy that works with bats, hates bats and finds humor in the situations, he can’t be. Five stars. Lou Diamond Philip rocks And of course the bats aren’t bad either.” And and then this one, I’ll just end on this one from Anthony Wilkins, who writes, “We got many bats out here in Hervey Bay. Nothing out of the usual good film, though. You might have noticed I have some strange tastes. Five stars.”
June Diane Raphael [01:04:33] It’s so interesting because to me listening to these Amazon five star reviews. Like it’s so crazy to hear their screen names, but honestly, it’s even crazier when they just write their names in. Yeah, like, that’s so scary.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:49] People need to know who I am.
Ike Barinholtz [01:04:53] I feel like that guy has a million reviews and he doesn’t watch anything. He’s just like, Oh, yeah, the lot. This lawnmower is pretty good. I’m not really a lawnmower guy. I’m kind of into other stuff, you know what I mean? I’m just trying to meet people.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:06] More of a lawnmower man.
June Diane Raphael [01:05:09] To get some follow up questions going.
Paul Scheer [01:05:11] We met at the Amazon marketplace. He was reviewing a scrub daddy, and I was in the market for a new kind of sponge, and I just liked this humor. It was fun. I will read the occasional third opinion, and this one was really good from Michelle Varanasi.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:27] Why did you look at us and do that?
Paul Scheer [01:05:31] Because June said when someone uses their full name.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:35] I thought June knew Michelle.
Paul Scheer [01:05:36] Oh, Sorry.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:40] June, your college roommate, Michelle.
Paul Scheer [01:05:43] So Michelle gives it one star and writes this. “Bats are not monsters, and they should not be portrayed as such.”
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:54] Hang on. Are you Michelle?
June Diane Raphael [01:05:57] Bat girl.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:58] Ma’am, are you Michelle?
June Diane Raphael [01:06:00] Bat lady.
Ike Barinholtz [01:06:01] Is your name Michelle Forenza? Yes or no?
Paul Scheer [01:06:04] So that is. Those are some second opinions, man. Oh, man. Bats and bats and bats. This was. I mean, I recommend this movie. I thought this was very fun in in the way that we’ve watched a lot of bad movies. But there’s something joyful about this movie. Feel like everyone was in on the joke.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:23] Yes. And that and plus, I feel like every every 10 to 15 minutes the movie would become a different movie, which so it’s constantly be like, well, what about one of these? Do you want it to be an assault on Precinct 13 with bats? It can be for about 15 minutes. Do you? It’s like it’s a bunch of different kinds of movies.
Ike Barinholtz [01:06:46] I’m just excited to know that when I do die. Hopefully so soon. It could be tomorrow morning. It could be in 50 years. But as I am dying and I’m saying goodbye to my family, I know I’m going to look at them and go. Bats, bats, bats, bats. Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats, bats bats. Everybody.
June Diane Raphael [01:07:15] Yeah, it’s so hard. You know, I have become so mentally deranged from this podcast that I don’t I genuinely like. I don’t know what’s what anymore. So, yeah, I guess. Watch this movie. I don’t even know what I’m saying. Like.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:32] I mean, compared to a lot of the other movies, were forced to watch this.
June Diane Raphael [01:07:35] Yeah, I guess.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:37] Genuinely very fun I thought this.
Ike Barinholtz [01:07:40] This is my third time on this podcast, but this was by far the best.
June Diane Raphael [01:07:43] Yeah, that’s nice.
Paul Scheer [01:07:44] It has the most solid core. Yeah. I mean, it did come out in 1999 where the top movies were Star Wars Episode one, Phantom Menace, The Sixth Sense, and Austin Powers. This did actually beat the movie Jack Frost.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:59] Snow dad?
Ike Barinholtz [01:08:00] Where the where the kid says, Dad, you’re the man. He says, No on the snowman.
June Diane Raphael [01:08:05] That’s right.
Ike Barinholtz [01:08:06] I remember that.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:07] And and Ike another character says, Snow, dad is better than no dad.
Paul Scheer [01:08:14] It’s true. Oh, it’s true.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:16] Oh, so I will I will just comment that in the movie, during the I will say, epic small town set piece where the whole town gets destroyed. Nosferatu is playing at the movie theater, which I very much enjoyed.
Ike Barinholtz [01:08:30] Have you noticed that at no point is there more than like nine people in a shot together? No. They have like no budget for extras. Crazy, crazy.
Paul Scheer [01:08:38] It is crazy when we talk about John Logan, too. He was a playwright in Chicago for ten years before writing his first screenplay on spec, which was Any Given Sunday, which was released the same year as Bats.
Ike Barinholtz [01:08:48] Wow.
Paul Scheer [01:08:49] And he was nominated for the Oscars in 2001, the year like two years after this for Gladiator, then a couple of years after that for Aviator, and then a couple of years after that for Hugo.
Ike Barinholtz [01:09:00] Fuck. Well, you know, what happened is he probably sold Any Given Sunday. Yeah. And they’re like, this is great. What else?
Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:06] What else you got?
Ike Barinholtz [01:09:07] And he’s like, Nothin. I mean, unless you like bats.
Paul Scheer [01:09:14] I will say this. There was a sequel. Lou Diamond Phillips and Dina meyer had a five year contract with Dimension Films or sorry Destination films in case of a possible sequel. The contracts expired in 2004, and Bats 2: Human Harvest began production in 2006. And much to the dismay of the director of Bats 2 who didn’t want to spend money on CGI, found out that all the puppets are missing. Yeah, I’m so into it. Plus, we are all the puppets in the first movie. The It’ll be great. Great.
Ike Barinholtz [01:09:53] All right, day one. Here we go. Here we go. All right, so, Lou, Lou Diamond, what I call you love LDP. You’re going to walk in, Dina, you’re going to walk up here and, well, how far away are those bats? What? We don’t have the bats? Everyone go home.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:09] At what point in post do you feel like they were like, I think we need to make all the bats sound like the predator because there is a point where the bats start to be like (predator noises).
June Diane Raphael [01:10:26] Yeah, at a certain point, because I watched it with subtitles on obviously. And and I think I saw the phrase bats cooing. Yeah, multiple times.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:40] And they are. That is like it’s increasing throughout the movie. The bats, it’s like the movie wants to be Jaws, the movie wants to be all of these things, but the bats are so, so tiny and so insignificant that they have to make them jacked and give them like a very threatening chitter that they can be like.
Paul Scheer [01:10:59] But I will say hats off to this movie because they do kill that final bat. They don’t give you a sequel possibility. They kill it, run over like a good, done. Yeah, we did it. We solved the movie.
Ike Barinholtz [01:11:10] Because once you kill one bat, that’s they’re all dead. We all know there’s certainly not a bunch more underneath them.
Paul Scheer [01:11:17] Give it up for Ike Barinholtz, ladies and gentlemen! June Diane Raphael. Jason Mantzoukas. What a show. A big thank you to Ike Barinholtz. And guess what, people? We love doing live shows. We love doing live shows so much that we have put together a very quick impromptu tour in just a couple of weeks. That’s right. On October 18th, we are going to be in Portland, Maine. Then on the 19th, we’re going to be in Providence, Rhode Island, then on the 20th, New Haven, Connecticut. And then on the 21st, we are wrapping it up at BAM in Brooklyn. Movies have just been announced. Go to HDTGM.com for more info. And guess what? We’re going to do it again in November. We’re going to be in Chicago on November 8th and ninth and then going to go to Minneapolis for November 10th and 11th. I cannot wait to get back out on the road. Come on out, see us. And guess what, people, if you’re in L.A., let me tell you about a show that is going to blow your mind. It’s called the Give Backula Spectacular. It’s happening at the Orpheum Theater on October 25th. I’m going to give you a special code right now. You buy one ticket, you get one for half off, which means two tickets are going to run you about 75 bucks. And listen to this show. Jason Alexander, Halle Berry, Jack Black, Rachel Bloom. LeVar Burton. Nicole Byer. Drew Carey. Bryan Cranston. Monet Exchange. Little Dickey. Lindsay Doherty. Simon Helberg. Janelle James. The Band Lawrence. Michael McKean. Kumail Nanjiani. Patton Oswalt. I’m Not Done. Ray Romano. June Diane Raphael. Sam Richardson. Andrea Savage, Myself, DAX Shepard, Lily Tomlin, Jeremy Allen and White people. This is a giant show. It’s music, it’s comedy, it’s games. And I’m giving you a special way to get tickets. If you use the code SOLIDARITY, just go to Ticketmaster. Look at the Give Backula spectacular at the Orpheum Theater on October 25th, 2023. It’s for charity. We are raising money for crew and IATSE and PAs. All these people who cannot make unemployment benefits because of the AMPTP work stoppage. I want you there. Come out. Let’s have a great night. I mean, that’s a lot of show. You heard those names. All right. So check us out. It’s all for charity. It’s a good, good thing. Now, Jason, have anything you want a plug?
Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:44] I do. Paul. I would like to plug something. Even though we’re in this period where we’re not plugging much and we’re not supporting a lot of stuff that is struck, I would like to promote something that I think is a wonderful, incredible opportunity for people who are in New York. There’s a music festival that I’ve talked about here on the podcast before. It’s called Ragas Live. Tickets are available at RagasLive.com. It is an incredible 24 hour music festival that is all Indian classical music and other music from around the world, all at Pioneer Works in Brooklyn. An incredible venue, incredible lineup of musicians, really like bananas level stuff. Go to the website, come check out good music. It’s going to be absolutely fantastic. RagasLive.com.
Paul Scheer [01:14:28] And as always, make sure you hit up our Teepublic store. That’s right. Teepublic.com/stores/HDTGM. And you know what? If you have a correction or omission from this episode, let us know. Go to our discord at Discord.gg/HDTGM or leave me a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK, then make sure to tune in next week to our Last Looks episode to hear what you had to say about Bats. I’ll respond to your messages. Jason and I will also break down some new listener submitted how did this get made themes. Plus, there’s a bonus scene that I am so excited to play for you because it was really fun. It was hard to cut, but we had to. And you know what? That’s why you tune in to last Looks for deleted scenes. Remember, you can find us everywhere online @HDTGM or you could even check at our Web site at HDTGM.com and find out all tickets, information or where we’re touring all that sort of good stuff. And if you love the show, tell your friends. Because word of mouth really helps. And it’s a lot more fun watching these bad movies with a buddy. And last but not least, I got to say thank you to all the listeners who support this show every week, who come out to see us live and our entire behind the scenes team who keeps this show running. I am talking about our producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer, Avril Halley, our engineers Casey Holford and Rich Garcia, our associate producer, Jess Cisneros, who makes those amazing social media videos. That’s all I got, people. We’ll see you next week on Last Looks. Until then. Bye for now.
November 26, 2023
Guest Conan O’Brien
Conan O’Brien (Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend) joins Paul, June, and Jason to discuss the 1993 romantic comedy and the final installment in the series, Look Who’s Talking Now starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley.