December 22, 2022
This week Jason, June and Paul are coming to you live from the MGM Northfield and breaking down the 1993 film Ghost In The Machine. The crew discusses the Address Book Killers motives and if he prefers to work in the digital or analog world, the logic of the lotto prank, and death by microwave. Agitate. Destroy. Die.
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308 — Ghost In The Machine LIVE!
Paul Scheer [00:00:01] Looks like we’re going to need a bigger magnet. We saw Ghost in the Machine. So you know what that means!
Intro Song [00:01:00] [Intro Song]
Paul Scheer [00:01:07] Hello people of Earth and hello people of Ohio! We are live at the MGM, Northfield, and we have a show because tonight’s show is taking place in the same state where the movie The Ghost in the Machine took place. This movie is an indictment of Ohio computer stores, Ohio police. It breaks it all down. This movie saw years before anyone else did that “What if a serial killer was put in an MRI machine and then during an electrical storm, somehow that machine went nutty and sucked out his soul and put it online.” I don’t know if that’s exactly what happens. It seems like that is the premise. I’ve never been in an MRI machine room, but lightning happening inside of it feels like there was a structural issue at play. But I have to say, this movie does see into the future. I mean, this movie came out in 1993. So. Holy shit. We saw some things. I mean, literally, we’ll get into it in this episode. Some of the things that this movie hypothesized has come to fruition and now is illegal. So there you go. Great job, screenwriters. This movie should not be confused with Lawnmower Man 2 or a movie that we’ve not done called Shocker, which is about a guy who gets electrocuted and in the electric chair, of course, and then goes into people’s outlets. But it’s very different. Very different. Do not tell the producers it seems the same. Tonight, we’re going to break down this movie every step of the way with you. But first, let me introduce my co-host. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Jason Mantzoukas.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:28] What’s up, jerks! That’s what I’m talking about. How are we doing Northfield, Ohio?!
Paul Scheer [00:03:39] No. No, Jason. Not Northfield, Ohio. Just Ohio.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:43] Just Ohio?
Paul Scheer [00:03:43] Just Ohio.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:44] Don’t say Northfield?
Paul Scheer [00:03:45] Do not say Northfield.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:46] Okay. JK. How we doing Northfield, Ohio?!
Paul Scheer [00:03:52] No! We can’t get into this movie without introducing my next co-host. Please welcome June Diane Raphael. Welcome, June.
June Diane Raphael [00:04:21] Hi, Paul. How are you?
Paul Scheer [00:04:22] I’m well, thank you for asking. Now, house lights up for one second. I want to show you some amazing costumes we have here. Where is our deep diver? Our deep diver with pickleball racket right there.
June Diane Raphael [00:04:33] Oh, God bless. I want to tell everyone I love that costume. I am missing pickleball to be here. And that’s hard.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:44] These costumes are– were watching from the side earlier. Incredible stuff.
June Diane Raphael [00:04:51] Really fantastic.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:53] Indianapolis? They kind of showed up. Detroit? They kind of showed up. But Ohio? These costumes fucking showed up.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:04] Yeah. I mean more thought went into these costumes than the making of the screenplay and story narrative for the movie that we saw.
Paul Scheer [00:05:17] Ghost in the Machine.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:18] Ghost in the Machine.
Paul Scheer [00:05:19] Well, you know, I was going to say not–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:21] I wouldn’t– if you told me “Quick, what’s the name of the movie?” I’d be like, “Don’t know. The Internet Creep?”
Paul Scheer [00:05:28] I mean, not since Maximum Overdrive have we seen more machines come to life that don’t seemingly connect to the Internet or have microchips in them. I don’t even know.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:41] If you’re inside the Internet, you can just control like–.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:43] Everything.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:46] Electricity. Microwave ovens.
June Diane Raphael [00:05:48] Dishwashers.
Paul Scheer [00:05:49] I knew we were in for a rough ride when the first 2 minutes, the opening credits, the exciting introduction is just schematics of microchips.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:01] Oh, yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:06:02] It didn’t go crazy. It was like, here, we just have these schematics and we’re just going to show you for 2 minutes. It was an [indiscernible].
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:12] But when you just said, what year did you say this was?
Paul Scheer [00:06:15] 1993.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:18] Okay so in 1993, to see the schematics of like a motherboard or a circuit or whatever that was like, WOAH! Everything in this movie seems as though it’s like, this is the future and it is nuts.
June Diane Raphael [00:06:35] Well, I want to start, even before we head into electricity. I want to start with the basics of the serial killer.
Paul Scheer [00:06:47] Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:49] The address book murderer?
June Diane Raphael [00:06:50] The address book murderer.
Paul Scheer [00:06:51] By the way, we have people dressed up as the address book.
June Diane Raphael [00:06:54] We saw. That was amazing.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:55] Can we get house lights up? I want to see the address, because I heard it, but I didn’t see it.
Paul Scheer [00:06:58] All the way in the back.
June Diane Raphael [00:07:01] So in the world of the movie, are we to understand that this serial killer steals people’s address books and then kills in order every one listed in the entire address book?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:20] Correct.
June Diane Raphael [00:07:21] That is unreasonable.
Paul Scheer [00:07:24] The amount of the murder.
June Diane Raphael [00:07:27] The amount of people in this area, in this state. In this area.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:31] At the beginning, does anybody remember who is he killing at the very beginning?
Paul Scheer [00:07:36] Well, he’s killing a family.
June Diane Raphael [00:07:38] I can’t remember their names.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:38] But what is their name? Because I’m wondering, how far has he gotten into someone’s address book? Is it The Smiths? Is it in the S’s?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:48] Okay, everybody please shut the fuck up. You, go.
Paul Scheer [00:07:52] Tarpley, right?
June Diane Raphael [00:07:56] Yardley. Yardley.
Paul Scheer [00:07:58] Yardley. Yardley?
June Diane Raphael [00:08:01] He said Y.
Paul Scheer [00:08:03] Wow. He got to the Y’s.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:05] The police must be losing their mind.
Paul Scheer [00:08:07] Well, I mean, here’s the thing.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:09] There’s Y. These people know Y’s.
Paul Scheer [00:08:12] I mean, here is part of the problem with that. Is if you have an address book, you might have multiple Y’s. That could have been like the fifth Y.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:21] Oh, yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:08:22] That’s what I’m saying. It’s not just I’m picking one person or family from one letter. He seems to be going through every single name.
Paul Scheer [00:08:31] This is what I found so interesting. This has been going on for quite some time and the way they deal with this serial killer is so light, like, “Oh, it’s going to rain on Christmas.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:43] At this point if this serial killer has gotten to Y in one address book, because they insinuate that that the killer has used multiple address books, that must mean here in your home state, hundreds and hundreds of people.
June Diane Raphael [00:08:58] At least.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:59] This is the most prolific serial killer ever in human history.
Paul Scheer [00:09:03] Unless he has, like A.D.D., where he is like, “Oh, I’m so into this address book. And then he finds, in other words, like, Oh, I got to go there.” You know? So he’s like constantly.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:13] You think with some Adderall, he would just be able to kill one address book because he’s easily distracted, he’s like, “Oh, another address book?” How often does he come across the address books?
June Diane Raphael [00:09:26] Well, I’ll tell you, because it’s this new software has just been is being sold at the store. He works in.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:33] It’s too bad he dies on the verge of its ubiquity. He as a hacker would have had access to unlimited power. The unlimited address.
June Diane Raphael [00:09:44] But the truth is, Jason, here’s what’s interesting about this guy, and it’s interesting that he ends up in the Internet because I don’t know actually if he would have kept on killing if he didn’t have the hard copies of the book.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:56] So you think he’s an analog killer?
June Diane Raphael [00:09:59] I do.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:59] You think digital life would have been uninteresting to him.
Paul Scheer [00:10:03] I do agree with you because I think there is something very much like we forget the opening of the movie. It’s so sweet. He’s butchering people and any punches through a frame to pull out a picture because he also keeps a scrapbook.
June Diane Raphael [00:10:19] I forgot about that.
Paul Scheer [00:10:22] I mean, now take a look at the news report here, because I want to see how they deal with it. It’s as if it’s an afterthought. Take a look.
Movie Audio [00:10:29] In local news, the authorities are now saying that a local man who died in a car accident late Monday may have been the serial murderer they’ve been hunting for the last three years. He has been identified as Carl Hochman of Lyndhurst, nicknamed the Address Book Killer, because he would steal an address book and kill those listed.
Movie Audio [00:10:49] Wow, that’s scary stuff. You ever wonder how many address books you’re in?
Movie Audio [00:10:54] Never do, Kelly. It’s one of the advantages of having no friends.
Paul Scheer [00:11:00] Hundreds of people are dead.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:04] This is where the whole movie is flawed, if the police know enough to say this is the address book killer, he’s using people’s address books to kill people in order. That’s incredibly easy to stop.
Paul Scheer [00:11:21] Well, whose address book is it?
June Diane Raphael [00:11:23] Right, Jason.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:25] There’s got to be somebody who’s like, oh, this is my– I know all of these people who’ve been killed.
June Diane Raphael [00:11:32] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:33] This is either my address book or my friend’s address book. I know where we’re going next.
June Diane Raphael [00:11:39] Yeah, it’s like “Tell all the R’s that you know.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:42] This is an indictment of the Ohio Police Department.
Paul Scheer [00:11:49] By the way, I just want to point out, three years this guy’s been killing this serial address.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:56] It’s an indictment of the police department in Ohio. He should be so easy to catch. He is visibly the biggest creep in the world. Kids, adults are like, “Ooh, that guy’s no good.”
June Diane Raphael [00:12:12] But you know what, though? Here is what I’m trying to understand. And in no way am I trying to defend the Ohio PD. But I am trying to understand how they even found out he was killing via address books. Because that’s a hard connection to make.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:29] They would have to know the address books. And so mustn’t they know the next? They should have been able to shut him down book one.
Paul Scheer [00:12:37] But here’s the thing. Karen Allen’s address book is stolen. She’s public about that. And, they’re like well, he’s dead. But yet everyone in their address book is dying.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:47] And the police are not interested.
June Diane Raphael [00:12:53] And also. I see. I guess this is what I don’t understand about our serial killer. Well, first of all, why address books? Like just why? But I heard something about systems of care. I didn’t really, couldn’t make many connections there. But why does he also have to kill the person whose address book it is?
Paul Scheer [00:13:15] And why does that person seem like the person he most wants to kill?
June Diane Raphael [00:13:19] I don’t know, because they’re definitely not in their own address book.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:23] Yeah, that exactly. And imagine the guilt, the guilt of losing your address book and then everyone, you know gets killed but you.
June Diane Raphael [00:13:33] Horrible. It’s horrible.
Paul Scheer [00:13:35] Maybe that’s why people don’t come forward, because they know that they don’t want to be complicit. Like you left it in the computer store? Like I will say also that the address book, like the address book killer. Well, I have a lot.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:50] The address book killers M.O. Movies about serial killers. Silence of the Lambs, all of these kind of movies about serial killers. What they are interested in is the mind of the serial killer and outsmarting that serial killer. That’s not what this movie is interested in. He’s just a “I’m going to get you. And I’m going to kill everybody.”
Paul Scheer [00:14:16] This is my question. He has no run in with Karen Allen. So there’s like Karen Allen’s at the store, her son.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:26] Can I interrupt you?
Paul Scheer [00:14:26] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:28] It’s not interesting that he has a run in with Karen Allen. He’s only interested in her address book.
Paul Scheer [00:14:34] But yet he says, “I can’t wait to taste your fear and drink your blood. I’m saving you for last.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:45] I’m in a computer. I can taste your blood from inside the digital universe? I run around via fiber optic cables and also electricity. I can make dishwashers go crazy. What is this?
Paul Scheer [00:15:01] I mean, there’s a moment where the guy who runs the computer store, they’re in the dark because I guess they’re shutting off all the lights before they shut down for the night. Completely in the dark. And that man, the serial killer, is sniffing an address book, which the boss catches him sniffing it and he goes, “Oh, where did I get such a great guy like you?”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:25] I loved that scene. I wrote that down. I loved that scene because serial killers are always depicted as having, like, weird fetishes or some sort of creepy thing going on. And his is just he’s smelling her overstuffed address book that has envelopes and notes and he’s like, this is the hottest object. He’s like, I’m going to kill everybody. It’s like, he wants to fuck it, but he’s going to kill everybody in this fat, thick address book.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:01] Listen, I will say, after watching this movie, I did think like “I miss address books.” There was a part of me that was like ahh the feeling.
Paul Scheer [00:16:12] Oh, I have– I saved my Filofax. I have it. Oh it’s the best.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:16] I just miss it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:18] I had a Palm Pilot until I was in my thirties. I had address books forever.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:22] But here’s what’s weird about that boss, too, because once he does know that this serial killer worked there and also seemingly had access to this new software he’s really been pushing, which uploads everyone’s addresses. He doesn’t seem to be taking any action around that. He’s hiding it. And I’m like, wow, you’re really– that gentleman is protecting a serial killer.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:49] Why are there customers in that store? The store should be surrounded by news vans.
June Diane Raphael [00:16:56] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:57] Saying this is where the man who killed 700 Ohioans was working.
June Diane Raphael [00:17:03] Men. By the way, men, 700.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:08] And when we see him at the beginning. He murders an entire family. Children.
Paul Scheer [00:17:13] And he poses them. And by the way, we know they’re a good old fashioned American family because they got a fucking baseball and an apple pie.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:24] Their house was dressed all American to a degree that felt like this is too much.
Paul Scheer [00:17:31] Yeah, well, this is my issue.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:32] Like Norman Rockwell with, like, a bloody family.
Paul Scheer [00:17:36] But this is my issue. Like, I think that there is something tragic to that family being killed. We hear them in the beginning. By the way, the first 15 minutes, like, what the fuck is this movie? I see a serial killer. And they following this family. Am I following this kids like a lotto prank? What’s going on with the mom?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:53] I love the kid’s lotto prank. I was like, yes, give me a kid who’s pulling scams and doing all this stuff, but it never comes out again.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:02] It never comes up.
June Diane Raphael [00:18:03] I want to hear this, Paul, but just a second on the lotto prank, because I was actually trying to understand the mechanics of this prank. So he’s hoping that if he tells an adult that his mom has died and–
June Diane Raphael [00:18:18] And meanwhile his dad is not there.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:20] That’s a secondary thought.
June Diane Raphael [00:18:21] That’s over there for now.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:22] He’s just like, “I have a lottery ticket.”
June Diane Raphael [00:18:24] I have a lottery ticket. Yes. And I know that. Here’s the phone number. Right. And then he’s hoping that adult gives him the full cash? Half of it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:34] No. He says its $100 winner ticket. Give me $50. I’ll give you the ticket. Call the number and they’ll tell you. I can’t claim it, but you can. He calls and it’s his buddy using a voice scrambler or whatever.
Paul Scheer [00:18:46] Which never comes back.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:48] Also never comes back.
Paul Scheer [00:18:49] Which you would understand. Like this kid’s also a hacker.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:52] The entirety of this scam should be integral to the end of the movie working.
Paul Scheer [00:18:58] Just the fake voice. The fake voice should have thrown somebody off. Nope.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:02] Nope.
June Diane Raphael [00:19:03] Nothing. Wow. Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:05] And that’s the end of the show and the show’s over. You go home.
Paul Scheer [00:19:12] I also love this era of film, because it really does posit that if you had a Casio electronic keyboard, you can do anything. Like, this is a moment–
June Diane Raphael [00:19:24] But you know what? I always found those Casio keyboards, though, to be have so many buttons that when I watch that I was like, wow, maybe mine did do it and I just never explored all the buttons.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:33] The Casio keyboard doing that, I’m okay with. All of the Internet stuff, all of the graphics. When the Internet starts vomiting out like grains of digital rice, that then compromised the physical form of the creep?
Paul Scheer [00:19:51] I was saying that the way that he comes out corporeally is like through like clown, like balloons, like they look like clown, like, you know, it’s like, oh, this is going to be blown onto a dog or something. It’s like too narrow and it’s like, what are these? What is it?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:08] Oh they’re the pieces of the internet.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:11] That’s what it looks like in there, Paul.
Paul Scheer [00:20:13] See, I didn’t know that. Thank you. By the way, I would say I give props this movie for making some shit look really lame. Like when they go to VR. That looks like the VR that I did at the mall. Like that was not an upgraded VR. It’s like shitty stairs, weird walls, and you’re like, I paid five bucks through this. This should be more fun. But it was also called like VR Nightmare. It just seem like a game of tag.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:38] It felt like VR laser tag is what it felt like.
Paul Scheer [00:20:41] 100%.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:42] I couldn’t understand why it was nightmares.
Paul Scheer [00:20:46] I mean it seems like that to me they added nightmares to kind of make like the guys like, “The VR is not selling. Put nightmares on it we’ll get the five bucks.” Everyone’s running scams in Ohio. We know this.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:59] There’s so many– what was the Virtuosity was another movie that we did that was like this. There’s so many movies that trade in this kind of, “You know what, we can do whatever we want with the Internet. Nobody knows. Nobody has a fucking clue. We can show them it does everything and they’ll believe it because they’re fucking idiots.”
Paul Scheer [00:21:19] I’m going to go out on a ledge here and just ask you both… okay.
June Diane Raphael [00:21:24] What’s up, babe?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:26] You know what? You know, can we get a spotlight on Paul?
June Diane Raphael [00:21:28] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:21:29] No, no, no. I have a spotlight thing to say in a little bit. But I’ll say this. Is our knowledge that he was sucked out of the MRI machine and then went to.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:40] We haven’t even talked about the MRI machine.
Paul Scheer [00:21:42] I mean, he was then put into data net, which is a hub like a holder for the Internet. But he was able to go to like everywhere in town because that’s like the Internet hub of the town? Is that how the Internet works? It’s like the Internet only has like a localized–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:01] Well, here’s what we can do. And in an effort to kind of answer that question, because it’s based here. Does anyone here work for data net?
Paul Scheer [00:22:12] I also don’t understand why the guy who runs data nets like “I remember you, you guys are splitting atoms. Well, we were pulling our puds. Now I’m your boss.” I’m like, wait, I think you fucked up that insult. Like.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:27] “While you were a genius that was jerking off. Nice to meet you.”
June Diane Raphael [00:22:34] So I have so many questions about–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:37] I have said that before.
June Diane Raphael [00:22:40] I so many questions about the MRI and how the serial killer became a ghost in the machine because–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:46] Obviously the MRI sucked his soul into the Internet. Duh.
June Diane Raphael [00:22:50] Listen, I need, I actually need to, for my own mental health, know that and work with the knowledge that hospitals have their own generators. So if there’s a major– even honestly. So this isn’t like a tornado’s going through town.
Paul Scheer [00:23:10] A light shower.
June Diane Raphael [00:23:11] It’s a storm. Right? But we don’t see the local news cover it.
Paul Scheer [00:23:15] No.
June Diane Raphael [00:23:17] So the hospital’s electricity is knocked out, which I found concerning, Ohio.
Paul Scheer [00:23:24] Well, I think what we see time and time again in this film is that lightning is hitting– Like it’s hitting posts. Electricity posts? What am I calling them? I don’t know.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:41] Electricity posts?
Paul Scheer [00:23:44] Wires, electricity wire, what it called the thing?
June Diane Raphael [00:23:47] Yes, but what I’m saying is hospitals have their own emergency like closed circuit grids that they’re working off of.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:55] They have to have the ability to continue life support.
Paul Scheer [00:23:59] But here’s the thing. The hospital didn’t lose power. What happens is he goes into the MRI machine. They scan his entire body, including his soul that is uploaded to data net, because that’s where the hospital keeps all their files. And that’s why he’s [laser noise] like he’s sucked into that.
June Diane Raphael [00:24:19] So then that could happen to anyone.
Paul Scheer [00:24:22] No.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:23] No, wait. I think you’re right.
Paul Scheer [00:24:26] I mean, it could. Yes, but no, I mean, not really. But yes.
June Diane Raphael [00:24:31] I know that. Thank you, Paul.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:34] Anybody who was in the MRI at that moment would have been sucked into the Internet. Right?
Paul Scheer [00:24:38] Right. So a good person would be sucked in. But if they’re not a hacker, they’d be like, “Oh, I’m lost.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:46] I’m lost in a series of white cross lines and circles.
June Diane Raphael [00:24:50] But he’s not a hacker.
Paul Scheer [00:24:53] Yes, he is.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:54] Oh he’s a hacker.
June Diane Raphael [00:24:54] The serial killer? He’s also a serial killer and a hacker?
Paul Scheer [00:24:59] Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:00] Because he’s working in the computer store and he’s like, he’s a hacker.
June Diane Raphael [00:25:04] But then why not hack those addresses? Why is he obsessed with the hard copies?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:08] You know, he’s transitioning from an analog to a digital world.
June Diane Raphael [00:25:13] Is that, is that what’s making him kill people?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:16] He’s like, I hate your analog method of keeping addresses. So everybody needs to die.
Paul Scheer [00:25:23] On some level, this movie posits a future where the Internet is ubiquitous, everything is going on. And then on other parts of this movie, it’s like, “Well, I better go door to door to talk to this woman. I’m in front. I’m not going to call her, goddammit. I will not pick up the phone. I’ll drive to her house and knock on her door because I think that would be the best way to do it.”
June Diane Raphael [00:25:47] That guy. I’m obsessed with him.
Paul Scheer [00:25:48] I love that guy.
June Diane Raphael [00:25:48] I love Bram. I love Bram so much.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:54] Bram Walker?
June Diane Raphael [00:25:56] Yes. The craziest thing that Bram Walker does is when he brings a ton of documents to her at a bar and says this woman works for TWA. But she knows nothing about– she says she hates computers.
Paul Scheer [00:26:12] When I saw her at first, I was like, “What a cool look. I wonder if she’s loosening that tie or like that’s fashion?” And then I realized it was just loosening the tie after work because she looked good with that, like very loose tie.
June Diane Raphael [00:26:25] She sure did, Paul.
Paul Scheer [00:26:26] Sorry.
June Diane Raphael [00:26:28] She sure did.
June Diane Raphael [00:26:32] But he brings all of that to her and says, “Can you look through a list of all of these places that logged on to data net at this time and see if anything– I mean that seems like a really– to ask this woman to cull through that amount of data and then immediately she’s like South Side Hospital and she connects information that I think he knows too.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:01] She does work that so many different governmental agencies should have connected the dots for and it is based on a nothing. But I will have the strangest thing in regards to that character that he does that is even stranger is he arrives at his brand new job late in the pouring rain in a convertible–.
Paul Scheer [00:27:27] With I believe a marlin.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:29] Is this how you do it in Ohio? You’re like, “This rain’s not that bad.”
Paul Scheer [00:27:36] I think the convertible roof was stuck just like the pool cover.
June Diane Raphael [00:27:42] Honestly, fuck this movie for doing that to that dog. That’s where I honestly was like, no, no.
Paul Scheer [00:27:49] But I have a thought, I have a thought about that dog. I have a thought about that dog. Did the serial killer somehow get the tape, the VHS tape of, like, “Dogs learn how to swim.” Because, like, why was that in the VCR? Is that a video for dogs?
June Diane Raphael [00:28:06] Well Jessica Walker brought it over/
Paul Scheer [00:28:08] Oh, she brought it over.
June Diane Raphael [00:28:09] She brought it over because she is like–
June Diane Raphael [00:28:11] Okay.
June Diane Raphael [00:28:11] Yeah. Needling Mom, who is like, “And this is for your dog.”
Paul Scheer [00:28:16] Like for the dog to watch? Because the dog seems like– the dog was like, “Got it. Now I gotta go swim it.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:23] Paul, no offense, but as somebody– and we talked about it last night– as somebody who did write and create a TV show for cats.
Paul Scheer [00:28:32] Meow TV television for Cats by cats, look it up. You can unfortunately find it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:37] Are you that shocked that there’s a dog based VHS?
Paul Scheer [00:28:41] Well, I am, because the dog based VHS is like, “Hey, dogs swimming’s simple.” It was like, was it to the dogs in English? Like if you put a dog in a top hat, he was like, “I like swimming.” I would have gone for it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:54] Okay, in the very opening scene, in the very first opening scene, idyllic suburban home. We don’t know it’s the guy yet, but a creepy guy in the shadows pulls up. Does he eat a Pixy Stix?
June Diane Raphael [00:29:12] Yes. Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:12] Why is that– why isn’t he the Pixy Stix Killer?
June Diane Raphael [00:29:15] Because that, I don’t know. But honestly, if you’re an adult eating a Pixy Stix, like you are a serial killer. That I was like, “Oh, that’s authentic.” because this is a documentary.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:29] Here’s the deal. If you’re a kid, you’re having a pixy stix. If you’re an adult, you’re having a pixie’s dick. Too far?
Paul Scheer [00:29:37] All right. I want to throw some movie logic at you and see if this makes sense. I believe that this movie opened up with the kid and the lotto scam, and then it went right to the computer store and then it went to the first murder. Because what happens is we open up on the murder and then as soon as he closes the trunk, it starts to rain. And I think on the way home from killing those people, he gets in a car accident. But the movie was too slow. So they’re like, “Oh, shit, let’s put the murder up front and then walk it backwards.” So I believe the first family killed is related to Karen Allen because it would be like this. It would be like a lotto scam, computer store, lost book, first kill, rainstorm, and then it goes forward.
June Diane Raphael [00:30:33] If that’s the case. They made the right decision. The editors.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:35] Here’s where that fails, I think, is only because then he is singularly only basing it off of her address book and I think they start like that because they’re saying he’s killing people in other people’s address books.
Paul Scheer [00:30:49] Then why is it raining so many concurrent nights?
June Diane Raphael [00:30:51] Ohio.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:52] Ohio, what’s the deal? I’m sorry, is this Seattle?
June Diane Raphael [00:30:56] I guess.
Paul Scheer [00:30:57] Because it did seem like that rain was indicating something.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:01] When he gets into the accident and is upside down careening and laughing.
June Diane Raphael [00:31:07] Okay, so just so you know, I spent the rest of the movie in my mind. I was thinking that was a suicide mission.
Paul Scheer [00:31:18] Oh, yeah. He was driving into oncoming traffic.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:20] But why?
June Diane Raphael [00:31:20] Why, though?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:21] But why? Because he was on his way to do his favorite thing. Kill a family.
Paul Scheer [00:31:28] Right?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:29] So why not take your time leisurely drive there. Savor it.
June Diane Raphael [00:31:34] So the only thing I can think and this is crazy but I’m like, is it because he overheard his boss selling this new software program and knows that he’s going to be obsolete? Like his work? Is that it? Like this plane is done, so we got to go.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:55] When we see Karen Allen’s address book. This guy must be so hard. It’s so thick. He could spend five years killing people just from her book.
June Diane Raphael [00:32:07] What I think he’s understanding, it’s like it’s that moment you realize you’re a dinosaur in your own industry.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:13] Right. It’s like the moment in Boobie Nights when they say it’s going to video and Burt Reynolds is like, “Never.”
June Diane Raphael [00:32:19] That’s right.
Paul Scheer [00:32:21] Well, to me, this is how I see it. He had that Pixy Stix. He murders that family. And on the way home, he’s like, “Uh oh, that Pixy Stix is kicking in.” If we go with my original edit of the movie and then he’s like, “Ahhhhh!” And then he kills himself. Like, I think he’s so jacked up.
June Diane Raphael [00:32:38] On sugar?
Paul Scheer [00:32:39] Yeah, sugar and murder.
Paul Scheer [00:32:43] Take a look. Watch. Think of it like that. He just murdered her family. He just down to Pixy Stix and–
Movie Audio [00:32:58] [car crash]
Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:59] Oh it’s a cemetery? I forgot.
Paul Scheer [00:33:01] He is flying through a cemetery.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:08] Wait. What?
June Diane Raphael [00:33:09] What’s happening?
Paul Scheer [00:33:10] This audience has coordinated some Ohio chants.
June Diane Raphael [00:33:13] Okay.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:15] I don’t like it. I don’t like that you guys are banding together. It doesn’t make me feel safe.
June Diane Raphael [00:33:30] So he’s been through, you know, a really serious accident. And he must have– I mean, he does have some major issues and I imagine trauma to his body. They seem to want to get him into that MRI machine so quickly. And I’m like, don’t we need to stop the bleeding? Unless there’s a time cut.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:52] He doesn’t seem to have any bleeding. They describe him as having severe bruising on one side. And Toby Ziegler from West Wing, the incredible Richard Schiff. Give it up for Richard Schiff says “We got to check his vertebrae. We got to check his brain just to make sure there’s no swelling or anything.” But they don’t seem particularly weary.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:12] Which is crazy because when he first comes in, when the paramedics are taking him in, we hear in voiceover a nurse saying, “What should we do?!” And I’m picturing his body is completely mangled and beyond repair.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:26] I mean, is it? Because he spends most of the accident laughing.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:30] And you know what they always say and this is why, by the way fuck drunk drivers because they usually do survive because they are relaxed.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:37] Oh, not because he’s drunk you’re saying, but because he’s crazy?
June Diane Raphael [00:34:40] No, I’m saying because he’s not bracing for impact that he has a better chance of survival.
Paul Scheer [00:34:45] I will say this, all they could have done in that scene was have a line like, I can’t believe he has not a scratch on him. Well, we better check him in the MRI. That’s all you needed.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:53] And then he passes. Then he dies.
Paul Scheer [00:34:56] Well, he dies because of electricity.
June Diane Raphael [00:34:58] Oh, he’s electrocuted in there?
Paul Scheer [00:35:00] Oh, yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:01] If there was an electricity power surge scenario, would anybody inside the MRI be murdered by electricity.
Paul Scheer [00:35:09] But lightning went from one of those electricity posts all the way into the room. Like lightning [more laser noises] there were like lightning bolts.
June Diane Raphael [00:35:19] The way that lightning moves in this movie.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:24] I would argue lightning is the villain of the movie. Oh, I’m sorry. Electricity.
June Diane Raphael [00:35:28] Electricity.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:29] Is the actual villain of the movie.
Paul Scheer [00:35:30] Can we just talk about the best scene in the whole fucking movie, which is the microwave dinner, and we’re talking about electricity.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:39] This is, I want to say, just very briefly, this movie has a number, a number of classic How Did This Get Made tropes.
Paul Scheer [00:35:49] Oh, yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:49] One of which– and we just saw one a few nights ago– is a guy, a man alone who subsists entirely on microwave dinners. Honest to God, we’re 11 years into this nightmare.
Paul Scheer [00:36:06] By the way, I took an Uber here. Not to brag.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:13] What a flex.
Paul Scheer [00:36:15] To give my wife some extra time. I got here and on the way there he goes, “What are ya in town for?” And I’m not going to beat around the bush. I said, “Oh, we’re in town to do a show.” And he goes, “Oh, you’re going to do stand up comedy? I said, “No, we–
June Diane Raphael [00:36:29] It’s always so hard to explain.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:31] The answer to that is yes.
Paul Scheer [00:36:32] Yeah, I know. And I go like this. I said, “Oh, we were actually doing a podcast, a live.” And he goes, “Oh, I didn’t know they had open mics at the MGM Northfield.” And I said, “Yep, they do.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:50] I got here. I got here. I drove myself here. I parked in the back and I had still some of the movie to watch. And so I sat in the rental car and I’m watching the last, whatever, 12 minutes of the movie. And I’m like, I’m in it. And I’m like, Fuck, I’m late. Okay? I’m watching the movie. And then, like and I look up and there’s a man outside. He goes, “Can I help you?” And it was as if I’d been caught jerking off in a parking lot. I was like, “Ah! I’m in the show. I’m in the show.” I was A, terrified. And B, I reacted like I’d been caught doing something filthy. I was just watching the end of this trash movie.
Paul Scheer [00:37:36] He goes, “Ghost in the Machine. Good flick. You’re good to go, buddy.” Alright, so the microwave scene is amazing because it starts off with a man going through his freezer, which is full of microwave dinners. Now, he has not– it’s almost like a library collection of microwave dinners. And then he takes one, no two, no three.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:59] He thumbs through it like he’s looking for an album.
Paul Scheer [00:38:01] I rewound it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:02] Which album am I going to listen to?
Paul Scheer [00:38:04] I rewound it because I thought it’s where he kept his porn. I thought, those were porn VHS tapes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:11] Go on.
June Diane Raphael [00:38:13] [Laughs] What?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:14] Because of the titles?
Paul Scheer [00:38:15] Well, because I just saw him paging through them and I was like, “Oh, this guy’s like a perv. So he keeps his porn in the freezer.”.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:22] So you thought he was lovingly flipping through his porn?
Paul Scheer [00:38:25] To be like, “What is tonight’s main course?”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:32] [to June] You married this man.
June Diane Raphael [00:38:32] I know. Believe me, I know. Well, it’s so interesting. These movies, you know, we’re always– before someone gets killed, we have to be able to, I don’t know, turn against them or feel like they’re better off dead. Right? So for him, he seems so lonely and there’s so many TV dinners. It’s just there’s so many. But he’s lonely and so he’s better off dead. Yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:04] What’s hard about the movie is the address book killer. Oh, God. We never get insight into the mind of the address book killer. The why. There’s no exposition as to why he does this. Who he was. How this happened. What his M.O. is, in the way that in so many serial killer movies we do. And we also then, because it seems random, we’re watching people we don’t know who are truly innocent, just being murdered for reasons we don’t understand other than that, they are next to in the address book. And as a movie that’s pretty unsatisfying.
June Diane Raphael [00:39:46] I do think that there’s an attempt. It’s an attempt made to get into his interior life when the landlady delivers that monologue as she’s walking Karen Allen around his apartment.
Paul Scheer [00:40:01] Which, by the way, a bold move to show just a stranger. Like she’s not a cop. She has no business being there.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:08] I couldn’t believe. I mean, again, this man has killed about 1000 people.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:14] 2400 Ohioans.
Paul Scheer [00:40:17] And she’s running that like a fucking local haunted house. She’s like, “I’ll show you around.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:21] At the end of this movie, they’re like, “Ohio doesn’t have enough people. We’re just going to declare bankruptcy. We’re done.”.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:29] She does say– and I was obsessed with that woman and her performance. I thought she was amazing. But she does say something about systems of care, systems of caring, which so then I was like, okay, he’s so upset that people have systems of care around them. That’s why he’s reaching for address books. But the flaw, of course, in his thinking is that everyone you love is in the address book.
Paul Scheer [00:40:57] That’s the thought. Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:40:59] Right. But I don’t think that’s true.
Paul Scheer [00:41:00] I don’t think that that’s true. One’s just a babysitter who can’t work Saturdays.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:04] Well, she’s also a recycler.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:06] Also thank you, June. She’s also a recycler.
Paul Scheer [00:41:10] Sure.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:10] Hot girls love sustainability.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:13] She’s a recycler, who is not above taking a few bucks to show the top of her boobs to some preteens.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:19] Well, listen, she had to do that because we knew she was going to die.
Paul Scheer [00:41:22] But by the way, she also had a DUI?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:27] She did?
Paul Scheer [00:41:27] Well, she had something.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:28] Her license was–
Paul Scheer [00:41:29] Revoked.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:30] Oh, I missed that.
Paul Scheer [00:41:31] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:41:31] She’s a terrible babysitter, by the way.
Paul Scheer [00:41:34] They were going to expunge her record and pay her $37. Like she got her record expunged. Like you can show top boob for that.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:44] She’s also dead now.
Paul Scheer [00:41:46] What? I’m just saying. Like that’s a nice thing.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:50] I can’t describe to you how much I would have, like, lost my mind to see my babysitter’s top boob. Come on. That would have been insane.
June Diane Raphael [00:42:00] I was really uncomfortable with that. Those boys. I mean, maybe it’s just having kids now, but they look like they were 11. Like, I was really quite disturbed.
Paul Scheer [00:42:09] This is what I was going to say before with the spotlight. That kid’s a dick. I don’t like that kid. He’s an asshole.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:15] Oh, that kid’s. That kid is. That kid’s no good. And he’s actually such a dick to his mom.
Paul Scheer [00:42:23] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:42:24] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:42:25] Like, you don’t want to root for him. I’m like, “Hey, kill this kid. He’s hooked up to the Internet all the time.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:31] So you’re advocating killing the kid?
Paul Scheer [00:42:33] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:42:35] By the way, though, why wasn’t his dad in the address book? I thought for sure.
Paul Scheer [00:42:40] There was only one page. Because she only scanned in one page.
June Diane Raphael [00:42:45] But he had her address book.
Paul Scheer [00:42:45] No, no. Because once he’s inside, he only had access to one page.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:49] Both are true. Both are true.
June Diane Raphael [00:42:52] I see.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:53] He has her address physically, but when he dies, he only has the one page as the example from the store.
Paul Scheer [00:42:58] Yes. So then he goes and does this weird program of crossing them out or going [laughs] It’s like, wait, he’s adding program information?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:07] But once he’s in there, he can find everybody because, you know, because the camera tells you can zoom– he can zoom through any kind of cable or electricity or plug or device or dishwasher or micro– anything is available to him.
Paul Scheer [00:43:24] Well, again, back to the microwave, this serial killer. Okay, so this man is making three Salisbury steaks. Three. He puts it in the microwave and then leaves the room. Now, I always understood that a microwave dinner is supposed to be quick, like you pop it in. You’re not like leaving. You’re not going, “I’ll come check on that in 45 minutes.” That’s the whole idea that it’s quick.
June Diane Raphael [00:43:48] It could be like 7 minutes.
Paul Scheer [00:43:49] Yeah. So he goes to the other room to, you know, queue up whatever he’s going to queue up. And in that moment, that microwave oven explodes and turns the entire kitchen into a microwave?
June Diane Raphael [00:44:03] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:44:03] The entire kitchen becomes a microwave?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:06] Well, yes, because, like– is it a microwave?
Paul Scheer [00:44:10] Yes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:10] Or is it just throwing out electricity because electricity is–
Paul Scheer [00:44:13] No, it’s microwave. No. Because microwave– the girl gets [buzzes], but this guy gets microwaved because I know this, because if you put a peep like one of those marshmallow peeps in the microwave, they go blub blub blub and that’s what everything does is the banana goes blub blub blub like everything was a microwaved–
June Diane Raphael [00:44:31] And he bubbles.
Paul Scheer [00:44:32] And he bubbles, too. Let’s take a look.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:39] By the way, such an L.A. kitchen.
Paul Scheer [00:44:42] Oh, yeah.
Movie Audio [00:44:42] [Man screams]
Paul Scheer [00:44:50] I know it’s a microwave because the microwave popcorn starts popping, too.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:54] Oh, yeah. I don’t like those eggs.
Paul Scheer [00:45:07] Grossest thing in the entire movie. Bananas.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:09] Walk out of the room. Walk out of the room, my guy. Your grapes are turning into raisins. Walk out of the room. There are doors.
Paul Scheer [00:45:24] Did he need to slip and hit his head? He looks like he was going to explode anyway. And why so violent? And then the rest of the movie is pretty benign. Like that is. That is like a straight up final destination kill.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:41] Yes. And it’s also early. This is one of the first kills. So I was like, “Oh, okay. This is going to be exactly to your point, final destination, kind of like, oh, grisly murders.” And actually the first murder, though, you don’t see a ton of how it happens. It is pretty grisly. He kills that family and there’s blood everywhere and stuff. So I was like, “Oh, okay, this is going to be a true horror movie with this.” And then, nope, that’s not it. It’s just a bunch of nonsense computer graphics.
Paul Scheer [00:46:12] I mean, I did get upset when they were going to kill the guy who wants to date Karen Allen. And I was upset they made him such a dick. Why don’t make him a nice guy? Because I think part of the tragedy is the nice people are being killed too. Nice Ohioans. But that guy wants to bring her out to a nice salad bar, great place for first date.
June Diane Raphael [00:46:29] Oh my God. That made me think– it did bring me back to 1993, like early 90s. I feel like the craze of we can have salads as dinner.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:39] Salad bars and also baked potato bars.
June Diane Raphael [00:46:43] Oh, yeah.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:44] Remember when, like, baked potatoes were, like, “Actually so healthy.”
June Diane Raphael [00:46:48] Yep. You know, it was weird, though, that her boyfriend, that they faked [sighs] that they faked us out with that crash test dummy sequence, you know, because I was like, if we’re going to kill him, let’s kill him that way. The fact that our serial killer was able to control the hand blowing machine in the bathroom. And I’m just not sure what came out of that air. What killed him exactly?
Paul Scheer [00:47:25] A fireball. I mean, the real answer is a fucking fireball. But I don’t know how that’s possible.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:33] And the movie never answers any of it. The movie obviously knows if we investigate any of this, it falls. This is a house of cards. Can we still say that? Here’s the thing. I think for the movie’s sake, they’re like, no. Anything that has any power, electricity, anything. Kurt or whatever. Kurt, the bad guy in the Internet, they’re basically banking on nobody knows what the Internet is. So the Internet is available, has control over literally anything, any machine. At which point Karen Allen should take her son and her mother and anybody else and go to the woods.
June Diane Raphael [00:48:17] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:48:18] Well, they do this the next best thing, which is tape up the electrical outlets. And we get to see that multiple times in the film electrical outlets with tape over them because. Well, are we saying that even if the tape– Could he not get through the tape?
June Diane Raphael [00:48:37] Well, I don’t know. I think it was more of a reminder to themselves, like don’t even fucking think about it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:42] Well, but then at the moment where they unplug everything at the mom’s– Jessica Walter’s house, they unplug– R.I.P. a legend. They unplug everything. Like, don’t plug anything in. Don’t do anything. Bah bah bah bah bah bah. And then Karen Allen’s like, “Okay, I got to go.” She’s like, I’m going to go to Walker or whatever. And she’s driving and her cell phone rings in her car and she’s like, “Aha!” She’s happy. She’s happy the cellphone is ringing. She doesn’t think to herself, “Oh, this is the exact methodology with which the killer has been communicating with me and my son.
Paul Scheer [00:49:12] Well, no phones work on phone lines and cords work on cord lines. And that’s the difference. You see we were simpler people back then.
June Diane Raphael [00:49:23] I was really fascinated by what happened to Jessica Walters after the swatting incident. So she was in shock. I mean, I guess, I don’t know, medical professional what shock looks like, but–.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:35] It looked like locked in syndrome to me.
June Diane Raphael [00:49:38] Honestly, it looked like just death. And I was like, how do they define shock versus like a coma?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:45] Do you think that Karen Allen was just in denial and then her mother had passed? [Indiscernible]
Paul Scheer [00:49:54] They needed to figure out a way to show her caring, but also get the fuck out of there. Because also they’re in another place where they could be completely attacked. I mean, it seems like at this point the character’s getting smarter and smarter that he could go and just follow them anywhere. But he seems to be like constantly lost, like, “Oh, wait, they’re there? Oh shit, okay.” Like, just get them in the hospital.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:16] Get anybody anywhere. It would seem so easy because he has so much control. He can light fires, he can electrocute people. He can cause, you know, both the dishwasher to overload and the electricity to be–
Paul Scheer [00:50:34] Well, this is the question. He also can infiltrate dreams because what Karen Allen nightmares about that this man’s like– I mean, first of all, weird church to be cremating right in front of the entire–
Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:51] Boy, I wished so much that this had not been a dream sequence. I was like, let this be the movie.
Paul Scheer [00:51:01] We needed it to be. But I mean, she’s dreaming before she knows, I think, that he has control over electric. She’s dreaming that he’s controlling the electric, so she can see the future. Or she can. Or she can. Everyone’s ahead of it. Everyone’s ahead of this. And then the one who solves it is the boy who just looks at a piece of paper and goes, “Oh, it’s the address book.”
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:25] “Oh, they’re going in order.”.
Paul Scheer [00:51:26] Yeah. “Oh, he’s a genius!” There’s fucking four names on there and three have been killed.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:32] The movie does have some things, though, and what helps it, I think, for everybody is there are some things that are tethered to reality. How many of us at some point in our life were at an ATM and we were overdrawn and blast doors, came down from the ATM, covered the entire thing and said, “That’s it!” As if it was trying to protect itself from a nuclear annihilation. What Is this now? Like for real.
Paul Scheer [00:52:09] I do want to talk about the end before we go to the crowd and ask them some questions. So this is a movie that climaxes with the villain going out of the Internet, like we said, as a balloon animal in these like little like DNA strands. The plan is to take down his atoms. But I feel like he’s not- he doesn’t have atoms anymore because he’s in the thing. But okay, whatever. But then he becomes this bits and bytes and whatever. And the kid body slams him like he body slams bits and bytes.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:44] They also do a thing which is like, “Well, the only thing we can do against any threat is shoot it with a gun.”
Paul Scheer [00:52:53] Yeah.
June Diane Raphael [00:52:54] Smith and Wesson.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:55] This is a digital entity.
June Diane Raphael [00:52:59] Well. I’m still confused by the plan. So, Bram releases a virus into the internet?
Paul Scheer [00:53:08] Yeah, that shuts down the four other outlets of the Internet because the Internet has four outlets and it closes the exit signs on four of them.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:18] He’s trying to corral the bad guy into–
Paul Scheer [00:53:22] The magnet.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:23] The super collider. Is that a super collider? What is it?
Paul Scheer [00:53:27] Sure. A magnet.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:29] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [00:53:29] Big magnets.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:30] A big giant magnet that is some sort of a supercollider or whatever, so that they can kill it, so that he’s siphoning it into one place, which is successful.
June Diane Raphael [00:53:40] So. Okay.
Paul Scheer [00:53:42] Well, what they didn’t account for is him to be shooting out of all the ports like Play-doh.
June Diane Raphael [00:53:49] There’s nothing to. There’s no value in just, like turning off the electricity?
Paul Scheer [00:53:55] No, they’ve got to shock it out.
June Diane Raphael [00:53:57] Okay. Because he wouldn’t die necessarily if they just turned it off?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:00] Here’s the reality. There is a prolific serial killer who now exists in the digital realm and is able to kill seemingly anyone anywhere. And the people that are trying to stop him are a suburban mother, son and a disgraced hacker who can’t even get his convertible shut.
Paul Scheer [00:54:21] And here’s the thing. How do they do it? The kid’s a hacker. Does he hack? No. The mom has a gun. Cool. The mom is shooting a computer program, and then it all is figured out, the hacker goes, “Yeah, magnets.” Like that magnet.
June Diane Raphael [00:54:41] No, the mom comes up with magnets.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:41] The mom says magnets because the kid said, “Don’t put that magnet on my computer disk.”
Paul Scheer [00:54:47] Jeez.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:51] This is an epic failure on every level for people to be able to stop– like, honestly, the serial killer deserves to win. He deserves to kill every person in Ohio.
Paul Scheer [00:55:04] Let’s go to the audience. Let’s go to the audience to see who has some questions. All right. Okay. So what’s your name?
Audience [00:55:10] Megan.
Paul Scheer [00:55:11] Megan, welcome. What’s your question?
Audience [00:55:12] So we talked about top boob for the babysitter. She received $37.28 to unbutton her top, which is the equivalent of about $77 now adjusted for inflation. Do we feel that’s a fair deal?
Paul Scheer [00:55:24] And by the way, you have to also say they were going to lower her insurance and expunge her DUI. So that, that’s a lot.
June Diane Raphael [00:55:35] Well, I mean, I think not to be such a capitalist, but it’s like, what’s the market going to bear? It was an offer that was right in front of her and she took it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:45] I’m just saying, I have a crisp 100 in my pocket.
Paul Scheer [00:55:50] Before I go to my next question. June, I have two people here for you. Get up Ernest. We got some Ernests right here.
June Diane Raphael [00:55:57] Oh, you do love to see it.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:00] I don’t know. Can you do an Ernest without a hat?
Paul Scheer [00:56:02] Oh, it’s good Ernest and bad Ernest.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:04] Oh, it’s sexy Ernest and–
June Diane Raphael [00:56:06] Sure is.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:07] Oh, I love this. Well done.
Paul Scheer [00:56:11] All right. So what’s your name? What’s your question?
Audience [00:56:13] My name is Adam, but I’m also Dr. Guts on Discord.
Paul Scheer [00:56:17] Oh, hey, welcome Dr. Guts. This is great. I get to meet Dr. Guts.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:20] Dr. Guts on whatever discord is.
Paul Scheer [00:56:24] We know Dr. Guts. We love Dr. Guts. Okay. Welcome, Dr. Guts.
Audience [00:56:27] Thank you. I want to ask, when they visit Bram’s hotel room, he’s got a nude painting on the wall. And I wasn’t sure if that was the hotel’s decor or if he is decorating.
Paul Scheer [00:56:41] I’m looking at it right now. Yes. That’s a woman’s bare ass. And I’m going to say it’s his because the marlin is also up there. The marlin was in the trunk of the car or in the convertible. So I think he is putting erotic art on his walls. And what a great observation. It’s a velvet painting of a bare naked ass.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:03] And he is the love interest?
Paul Scheer [00:57:06] That’s what I’m saying. You guys are like–
June Diane Raphael [00:57:09] We’re dancing around it. But the movie doesn’t imply that they got together.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:14] No, but it implies that there’s a connection.
June Diane Raphael [00:57:17] Yeah, sure.
Paul Scheer [00:57:18] But I want to say this. You guys are like, “Oh, Karen Allen deserves so much better. She deserves so much better.” This guy lives in a fucking motel with velvet and nude pictures. The other guy is a fucking scientist for Toyota.
June Diane Raphael [00:57:31] She can deserve better than Bram Walker, too. We’re just saying she deserves better.
Paul Scheer [00:57:36] How about the guy who runs the computer store?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:38] Listen, she deserves Indiana Jones.
June Diane Raphael [00:57:42] That’s right. Yeah, that’s our standard.
Paul Scheer [00:57:50] Indiana Jones deserves her. Your name, your question.
Audience [00:57:55] My name’s Thomas. So he’s been address book killing for three years. But don’t you think you have a lot of friends and relatives from out of state? So is this a national concern or is he just kind of half assing it and just doing what’s local?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:10] Boy, would that be a great.
June Diane Raphael [00:58:12] That’s a great question?
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:12] Boy, would that be great. Because, yes, of course, in your address book, it’s alphabetical. So, yeah, you could have people all over the country, all over the world.
June Diane Raphael [00:58:23] I know. And the Pacific Northwest is usually like blamed for, you know, most serial killers and serial killings. And maybe it was the address book killer the whole time.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:32] Yeah. And maybe Ohio should be blamed for a lot of the deaths all over the country.
Paul Scheer [00:58:41] Clearly, we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.
Audience [00:58:50] [singing] I want you to know my five star review about a killer who blew a fuse. Does your microwave need maintenance? It just fried your work acquaintance. You’re in mild danger. No more time for denial. So go and unplug your shit and find a big ass magnet. Thank God one’s plausibly in the middle of Ohio. And although the killer isn’t able to maintain the form that’s stable, it doesn’t mean he won’t try to poke your eyes. Poke your eyes. How will you survive? Will Paul Scheer share my review with the nerds out there cause they, they, they oughta know.
Paul Scheer [00:59:42] Amazing! Great job.
June Diane Raphael [00:59:43] Medical professional.
Paul Scheer [00:59:47] Great job.
June Diane Raphael [00:59:47] Incredible.
Paul Scheer [00:59:50] All right. Well, there are 111 total reviews. 66% are five star.
Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:59] How?!
Paul Scheer [01:00:00] And this one, written by Wendell, starts like this, “Classic 1990 sci fi thriller, as it says, Ghost in the Machine. There is a Ghost in the Machine, but it’s actually in the computer. And they need to find a way to get rid of it. One to watch with your feet up. Five stars.” What does it mean? Feet up. Like you’re enjoying it so much.
June Diane Raphael [01:00:34] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [01:00:35] Or you’re going to be scared that you’re–
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:36] Oh, so that you don’t get electrocuted.
Paul Scheer [01:00:39] Oh!
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:40] Because everybody who gets electrocuted, their feet are around the water or the whatever. So if you keep your feet up. You’re going to be good. You’re going to survive.
Paul Scheer [01:00:49] Well, this is interesting you brought that up, because Edwin T. Gee in 2016.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:55] ETG!
Paul Scheer [01:00:56] ETG in 2016. December 22nd, right around Christmas, chimes in to say, “Classic horror. After watching this, you’ll want to unplug everything in your home. A very unique way to be a slasher through electricity. I mean, you got Chucky who used a doll and others somehow came back to life. But this killer gets in the electricity. Plus, you can’t go wrong with classic nineties style. This movie, you must own five stars, classic horror.” And finally, Brian Bagby, march 30th, 2015; writes, “I’m satisfied with this movie. Five Stars. I often don’t read from like the Catholic Review website, but I wanted to quickly just point out that it got a lot of negativity here, you know, for blasphemy, for evil, for gross immorality. But the other thing was this: politically correct dialog referring to Nixon era protests. They did not like that the mom was in an anti Nixon protest.”
June Diane Raphael [01:02:24] So was Bram.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:25] Was one of the people that got naked and– yeah and jumped in the–
Paul Scheer [01:02:30] Fountain or the reflecting pool. This movie cost 12 million opening weekend and made 1 million. Worldwide gross: 5 million. Top three movies in 94. Lion King. Forest Gump and True Lies. This movie was beat by Street Fighter, Color of Night Jr, The Shadow Disclosure and Time Cop. It Only Beat Double Dragon which you did not do in the show. And the tagline for this movie is “Last night, a serial killer died. . . ”
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:02] I don’t know if that’s going to get me to go to the movies.
Paul Scheer [01:03:07] Seems like the movie’s over. There’s no movie.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:09] The movie. And I just looked it up because I wrote something in my notes that I was like, that I just saw and I was like, “Oh, wait, what is that?” So the movie structurally is you said 93, 94?
Paul Scheer [01:03:21] 1993. Came out on New Year’s Eve.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:26] This movie, structurally is basically putting like a virtual reality or an Internet skin on T2?
Paul Scheer [01:03:34] Right.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:35] Because it’s basically, the story is they’re being chased by somebody and it’s a kid and a mom. And at the end she’s like, “Get your hands off my fucking son.” And shoots him. There’s so many, I feel like T2 moments in a way that I was like, “Oh, I feel like that’s how they sold it.” They were like, “It’s T2 plus virtual reality.” And it’s nonsense. It is not that.
Paul Scheer [01:04:03] Right. Because it loses all the things that we like T2.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:06] Nothing. Yeah. Nothing about T2. None of the fun of it, and it’s not fun even remotely.
Paul Scheer [01:04:12] So I guess my question to you is, would you recommend this movie?
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:14] No.
June Diane Raphael [01:04:17] So it’s hard. I will say, because we’re on a tour right now with this podcast. It’s hard to believe, but we are.
Paul Scheer [01:04:33] We’re doing open mic rooms across the country.
June Diane Raphael [01:04:36] We’ve seen such terrible things in the last two days. I mean, last night what we saw.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:43] [to audience] You are so lucky.
June Diane Raphael [01:04:45] [to audience] You really are. We should all say a prayer of gratitude.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:48] That we didn’t make you watch The Oogieloves.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:51] Oogieloves made me physically ill.
Paul Scheer [01:04:54] I love them.
June Diane Raphael [01:04:55] I felt nauseous.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:55] I haven’t slept in days.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:58] Because when I close my eyes, all I see is Toofielove, Oogielove–
June Diane Raphael [01:05:06] Don’t even say it.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:07] Goofy Oogielove.
June Diane Raphael [01:05:08] Don’t even say it.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:09] J. Edgar Schloofy. Windy, windy window– these are real characters from a nightmare that we lived through.
June Diane Raphael [01:05:21] It was so hard and it was so nauseating. The experience, that when I watched this today, I enjoyed it. So I can’t recommend or not recommend because I know I’m not well.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:40] Yeah.
Paul Scheer [01:05:41] I will say that I recommend it with a heavy fast forward because the death scenes, like they took my breath away, the fireball, the microwave, the baby in danger, the top boob. All these are moments, but if you watch it on like two speed like I listen to my audio books on that’s–
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:03] Wait, what you listen to audiobooks times two?
Paul Scheer [01:06:08] Times 2.5.
June Diane Raphael [01:06:09] He listens to everything times two.
Paul Scheer [01:06:11] 2.5, Jason.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:12] 2.5 audiobooks?
Paul Scheer [01:06:14] I build it up. Once they get familiar with the voice, I’m like 2.1, 2.2, 2.3
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:19] I know somebody who who reads the book while listening to the audiobook and then increases the speed until they are speed reading. And so they’re processing the book two ways.
Paul Scheer [01:06:33] Wow.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:33] So they’re internalizing the book both by reading it and by hearing.
Paul Scheer [01:06:38] I want to do that.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:39] Oh, and it is like apparently a game changer for loading information into your head.
Paul Scheer [01:06:47] Just like this serial killer.
Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:49] Just like this podcast. Can I just say one more thing? I want to thank everybody for your patience in rescheduling this show. I know it was super difficult and really fucked a lot of people’s plans up. Thank you, everybody, for your generosity, your well-wishes, and your patience in coming back. This was well worth it. Eat shit, Cleveland! Happy Halloween! Thank you, everybody! Great work Jasonss. Great work, Jason. Great work, Evergood’s cariology. You’re the best. Go home.
Paul Scheer [01:07:36] That brings us to the end of The Ghost in the Machine. If you are looking for more content to devour while you’re driving, at your job, or just stuck in a relative’s house that you don’t want to be at, or maybe you’re just alone and you’re like, “You know what? I finally have some time to catch up on some stuff.” Let me throw something at you. Rob Huebel and I hosted this giant event. It was the front page of Twitch for two days. It was called Celebrity Yard Sale, where we invited celebrities to come on and sell their junk. And we packed it full of great people like Kumail Nanjiani, Carl Tart, Lauren Lapkus, musician, Ben Lee. We had so many great people. Even Anderson played our appraiser. Rob Riggle showed up at the end. We gave away a car. It was massive. Two days. 4 hours. You can watch it all on my YouTube channel. Or if you are inclined, watch it on twitch at twitch.tv/friendzone. If you don’t know what twitch is. Don’t worry, don’t stress yourself out about it. That’s why I put it on the YouTube page. But that’s 4 hours of extra material with some of your favorite people. I think you’ll really dig it and it’s not super visual, so you could actually listen to it and get what is going on. People, that is the end of this episode. I want to give a shout out to the great washing machine in this movie, and as a matter of fact, we have immortalized that washing machine with agitate, exploding dye with its very own shirt. Just go to Teepublic.com/stores/hdtgm. You know how it works. And it is a great look and I think it’s actually a great looking sticker. Put it on your own washing machine. Let the next person who lives in your house deal with it. Anyway. A big shout out to everybody. I hope you have a great year. Thank you for a great live show. And as we say goodbye to Devin, we also say hello to our brand new senior engineer, Alex Gonzales. Welcome, Alex, to the show and we’ll see you next time.
January 29, 2023
Giant talking gorillas, lasers, and volcanoes are all a part of the insanity that is Congo. Nick Wiger (Doughboys) joins Paul, June, and Jason (via computer magic) to ask important questions such as: What are communication lasers?