EP. 337 — Rollerball LIVE!

Paul Scheer [00:00:01] Finally, a movie that makes the XFL look like a good idea. We saw Rollerball, so you know what that means.

 

Music [00:00:15] [Intro Song]

 

Paul Scheer [00:01:04] Hello people on Earth, and Hello people of Providence, Rhode Island! We are here to talk about a very important movie. That’s right. The 2002 Chris Klein classic. If you hear the audience reacting, it’s because I came dressed as a professional roller baller. That’s right. I’ve tattooed my own number under my eye. Now, if you’ve not seen Rollerball, and I don’t suggest that you do, but if you have not seen it, let me tell you it takes place in the future where sports entertainment has graduated to a new form of roller ball motorcycle hockey basketball. And get this, it’s kind of corrupt. That’s right. The more people get hurt, the higher the ratings go. And when Chris Klein finds out about that, he is confused. And then after multiple people tell him he has to stop it, he decides, all right, now I’ll stop it. Which builds to a very exciting climax because it means the movie is over. This is a remake of a 1975 James Caan movie that was very much a political statement about corporations and entertainment, and they got rid of all of that. But you’ll get into this movie in every detail. Let me bring out my co-host. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jason Mantzoukas.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:03] What up, jerks!? What’s up, Rhode Island!? That’s what I’m talking about. Providence came to play.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:18] Let me tell you, Jason. If there was a place for a roller ball league, I think Providence might be it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:25] Oh, yeah. I feel like Providence would excel. And it wouldn’t. But it wouldn’t be like rap rock. It would be like, somehow ska punk.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:38] I like it. I’m in. And you know what? There’s no one better to talk about ska punk or accents than my next co-host. Please welcome to the stage, Mrs. June Diane Raphael.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:03] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:05] How are you, June?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:06] I’m okay? This was an odd one. This was strange stuff.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:16] I don’t know what you mean. It made total sense to me. This was compellingly portrayed by every actor in the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:25] This movie is when, I guess, when politicians in the 80s were like, MTV is bad. This proved them right.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:35] I felt the same, Paul. I felt like I don’t trust youth culture. I don’t like it. I felt very upset by everything that was happening in this movie. And by the way, I when I realized, oh, this is a sports film.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:50] Well is it?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:51] Well. I was looking forward to that. And I did say to you, Paul, I said, Is Rollerball a sport?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:59] Oh, boy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:02] Right.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:02] And you said, we’ll save that question for tonight. So I ask both of you, is this a sport that exists in the world?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:09] No, but shouldn’t it be? It’s not. I mean, like, the closest, the closest we’ve come to roller ball existing is Starlight Express, the Andrew Lloyd Webber roller skating musical.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:27] Deep cut, I would say.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:30] Providence is not with me.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:31] Look. Roller ball is like roller derby meets, like professional wrestling with, like, an element of the movie The Running Man. It’s a it’s an odd thing, but in 2023, it doesn’t feel as far off as it did in 2002.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:51] You said something that was particularly in the beginning. I think you said that this movie takes place in the future.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:57] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:58] I don’t think it does.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:59] Really?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:00] I thought the James Caan one takes place in the future.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:02] Oh.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:03] Which is a quite an easy mistake, but I think this movie is meant to be a commentary on current. Whatever. What is it? 2002.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:13] All right. Well, that’s interesting because I thought it was like, but.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:16] I’m so glad to know there was another movie, because when I watched the opening credits and I saw its screenplay based on another screenplay, I was like, what ever could that mean?

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:28] It’s a screenplay based on a screenplay based on this, based on the short story of the man who wrote the screenplay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:37] Which is based on a stoned conversation had.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:44] I will start off with the good. The good is this opening sequence. Put this up against any Mission Impossible movie. This is awesome. The street luge is fucking crazy. I also don’t even understand what’s going on, and I don’t understand a lot of this movie, but. So Chris Klein gathers people, they pay to take photographs of this. And then. But he also is in competition?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:13] Does street luge happen on working streets? Well, to me, street luge is like cleared out, like we want we’re going to go fast and race. But the idea that they’re inside of pedestrians and traffic seems crazy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:29] And photographers who are there to capture it but also are like, like kind of jeering them like, hey, look out like, hey, you know, like, yeah, they they’re like fucking with them.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:40] What are the photographers doing with those photos, exactly?

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:43] Putting them in like Thrasher magazine.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:47] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:47] I know I couldn’t get a sense of like, are they making money as street lugers?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:54] Who even knows? The only way to make money is a North American cable deal. And if they’re not doing that, then they’re not making money.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:02] That’s what this writers strike and actor strike was all about doing.

 

All [00:08:05] [Indiscernbile]

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:12] Pencils down.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:15] Here’s the thing. The amount of police officers at Chris Klein’s house was shocking.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:23] For what?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:24] For street luging?

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:27] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:27] For Street. Come on, Jason, at most street looting has to be like, a misdemeanor where there’s no way. What crime did he do?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:36] Yes. Okay. Find the Zodiac killer.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:41] By the way, you already got one of the lugers. Because he flew through a Chinese restaurant that seemingly was open at six in the morning. Maybe it was a dim sum place. I don’t know, but it seemed like they started street luging at like 4 a.m.. And to get from the top of San Francisco down to the bottom.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:57] Like surfing parts like that’s when you catch the best.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:00] I get. I get that they need to do it, but it seems. The sun came up very quickly.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:05] When? How did I. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t always looking directly at the movie while it was screening. How did when when Chris Klein is straight luging?

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:17] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:18] Fucking hell. This was the first act of this movie is street luge, followed by a single roller ball game.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:29] There are only two roller ball games in this whole movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:32] And it seems as though the movie is four hours long, as the result.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:35] It’s so long. I watch this movie on 1.25 speed.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:40] Why didn’t I do that?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:41] I don’t know, Jason. This is. This is where I really struggled. I again and I’m all for. I love pickleball like I can get I love.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:50] Are you comparing pickleball and rollerball?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:54] You hear that John McTiernan remake this movie as pickleball?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:58] No, this is what I want to say is this I am happy to get behind a sport that the culture has deemed like silly, you know, and I’m happy to see an alternative sport represented on my screen, and I’m happy to root for it. But I never got a sense that this team was practicing, working on different plays, working on strategy. I’d love to know what positions they were playing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:25] Positions are tricky. Motorcyclist.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:27] I’d love to see a training montage. I well, it’s like just can I any of us right now could have been thrown into that ring and could have played?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:37] And succeeded and succeeded.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:38] But can I just go back to this one thought I had. This movie is about a professional or wannabe professional hockey player who makes money street luging, who then becomes a professional roller baller. None of those things add up, right? The luge doesn’t help roller ball. Hockey is played on skates, not roller blades like. It wasn’t like, oh well, you’re so good at street luge. Like, why is he just going down street.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:13] In my opinion, if you’re an NHL prospect. Don’t be street luging. You’re going to fucking fuck up your whole opportunity.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:22] Wasn’t he street losing for 400 bucks? Which I think he had to split with that other guy who seemed to have it out for him. He’s like, hey man, back off. I love Chris Klein.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:33] You love him?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:34] I thought it was a great performance. I did.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:53] I’m sorry. I’m sorry. What is that? Where am I? What?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:00] I thought with what he had. And by the way, I think Rebecca Romain’s performance. And I won’t say Romain Stamos. I will call her by her Christian name. Rebecca Romain.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:12] Do we know she’s Christian?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:14] I don’t. I thought she gave a wonderful performance. I love that accent. I’m sorry, Angelina Jolie.  I’m sorry. All of you out there. But she played a a European-esque bad ass as good as the rest of them. As good as the rest, I thought.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:38] I thought, Rebecca Romain. Also fantastic.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:41] Prime RR.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:43] Oh, yes. Working out topless?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:48] Oh. Love it. I wait, I have to talk about though. Jason. I just I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:55] You know what? I find it very rude when I’m interrupted.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:59] Jason hates being interrupted by women in particular. I’m so sorry for you. I’m so sorry to interrupt you, but I did find the topless work in this movie. So many. There’s, like, the top. It was very strange because the topless women were, oddly, except for the announcer, not sexualized. Like there’s so many topless women in the locker room.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:23] Like, very Starship Troopers is what I wrote. Okay. I feel like, yes, I feel like they want to be doing a Paul Verhoeven kind of thing. Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:13:33] But I really loved it, and I thought it worked. And I was like, this is you’re getting me on board with Rollerball. When I see all of these topless two men walking around in a locker room. Now, I don’t want to be topless in a women’s lockerroom. And when I see that type of parody, I tip my hat so I don’t know what the culture of rollerball is.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:51] I would like to see some more balls. I would like make this make this movie more like Naked attraction. Show some of the junk up down under.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:59] My question is, even alone, if you were alone, left to your own devices, would you lift heavy weights nude?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:06] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:07] Would you work out nude? That’s weird.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:11] It’s like that. In Die Hard two.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:16] In the dark. That’s not safe.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:19] In Die Hard two, when you first meet the bad guy, he’s doing tai chi naked. And you see this, like, tanned ass cheeks, and I’m like, oh, I know he’s a bad dude. Because if you’re doing tai chi naked, something’s messed up up here. So I feel like it’s it’s sending us mixed signal. Like she shouldn’t be it. It’s too dark in there. She she needs to protect her body. At least wear some gloves so she doesn’t get calluses.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:42] They also do this thing with her where she is. For the first bunch of the movie, I found that she was always in shadow, always in helmet. Always.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:51] I loved her helmet.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:52] Loved it. I thought it was great. I thought there was a lot of cool design elements in the whole movie, except for the jester’s hat. I could not get on board for the jesters.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:01] And how about the jester’s puppet?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:03] Yes, the gestures puppet. Crazy. But, I didn’t realize for so long that it was Rebecca Romaine.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:10] Really?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:11] So much so that it wasn’t until their adventure where they come to the riots and she’s like, we gotta go. I was like, Rebecca Romaine?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:20] Wow. Well, I thought she did beautiful work.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:24] Well, here’s the thing. Her face is covered for her introduction. Like we don’t see her. I have a lot of.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:31] I was led to believe that she’s insecure about her scar. And that’s why. And Chris Klein is like, your scar’s not even that bad. It’s not. You don’t even worry about it or whatever that she’s, like, ashamed of that. And that’s why she covers up or something. That seems to be some reason.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:45] This seems like a weird thing to be worried about when you play professional roller ball. Here’s the thing. I just want to go back to Chris Klein for one second because. I think they do him a disservice. In one of the first lines, he says, he’s like, oh man, look at all those bobbles you got. Bobbles? Like this is a person who should never say the word, bobbles.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:16] But Paul, I thought that too. And I actually had a conversation with myself as if you were given he saw that on a page and you were told say that lives that line like it’s your own. I thought his delivery of whoa, look at those bobbles was honestly Oscar worthy. That’s to honestly tell me you could do it any better.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:37] That’s why I thought the movie took place in the future. As, like, only would a person in the future be so comfortable using the term bobbles.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:43] Here’s what I’ll say, June and I agree, and I think Chris Klein’s great. But everything all the all that he’s not he’s not he’s doing his best. He’s doing the best. Everything you’re giving to him. I’m giving to LL cool J.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:57] I agree.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:01] But in watching it, he was the one that I was like, oh, here he feels organic and he feels like he exists in the world, right? In a way, that Chris Klein never settled in for me.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:14] Well, there are moments, though, where they talk. He’s like, hey, man, come with me. Play roller ball in Kazakhstan as part of the Zambell horsemen. And and he goes, you know, I’ll run defense. You run offense would never would have expected running defense meant that L.L. cool J spends most of his time on a motorcycle.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:35] Had L.L. cool J played hockey with him? Because he’s like, it’ll be just like old times. I was like, oh, and in doing hockey, because the skills are not at all applicable.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:45] Well, that’s what I’m saying. They don’t seem to have like again, why street luge? A thing that doesn’t factor into any part of the movie. Like at the end, if you had them escape via street luge either, wouldn’t that be great?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:00] Wouldn’t that be great? But the movie that this reminded me of the most that it. And I say this in the sense that what the movie could have been the promise of the movie, because I feel like there it doesn’t follow through enough because it doesn’t want to have any fun. This movie is triple X The Return of Zander Cage.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:19] Yes!

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:21] That a movie we covered?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:22] Yes it is. Vin Diesel skis down a non snow covered mountain, you might remember. Anyway.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:32] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:33] I was, I wanted, I wanted this movie to have some of that like gonzo fun element to it, but it doesn’t. Nor do I care about any of the people really.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:44] But we are also forced. And this is the craziest thing. We’re forced to watch 30 minute long games that none of us understand the rules for. And and when the rules are explained like they try to simplify.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:02] It’s so hard, it’s because I actually went back to watch the rules at one point. Yeah, and I thought I understand the game less now. I’m getting further away from it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:13] Look, scene three. We’ll watch it. This is the announcer. This is, WWF legend Paul Heyman who.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:21] He’s wonderful in the movie. He’s a real bright spot.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:25] Out of all the announcers, because they cut to all the announcers. I like them in that they were this, I like that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:29] I also just thought of this guy, this announcer sitting there for one day and like, okay, so now this happens like, oh my God. You know, he was never there on any day. Like it was just like one day, like, now you’re shocked. Oh you know, and and he looks. And when you’re first meeting all the, announcers, we’re like, we’re brought into this world via him. Like he’s hung over in the back of a cab and we’re watching him go to work. And then I’m like, well, this is again why I think it’s the future. It’s like we’re in a bombed out shelter, but this thing seems to be sponsored up the ass. It’s like he’s drinking Fanta. There’s a condom ads.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:07] And I also was like, are the announcers famous as well? Because they travel to all the events everywhere and I couldn’t yeah, I couldn’t figure that out. But this scene, because I wrote down a bunch of it because I was like, he gives a two minute detailed rule by rule breakdown. Yeah. Only to have the third act of the movie them be like this one, no rules. None of them. Break all the rules you learned. Boom. No rules.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:35] But I would also argue he gives a two minute long break. Then we’re going to watch this. I could get the two minute long break down and then goes. And there are a lot of rules that I won’t even tell you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:45] Cause they’re in Russian. Cause they’re in Russia.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:47] But yet this is not a Russian sport because they travel all around the world. So why is it just did he only have the Russian rule book? Is it different when they’re in? I don’t know. Here, take a look at the rules a team.

 

Movie Audio [00:20:59] A team must go around the track twice, maintaining possession of the roller ball before they can score. It’s really that simple. As simple as building a lifestyle premium condom for sex.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:11] Can you pause for one second? Okay. I had closed captioning on it. It didn’t translate any foreign languages at all, did I wound up or did the movie fuckup? I think I turned that turn on a thing. It would have helped so much for this to be information I can receive.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:36] This moment is odd because we are introduced to a world in which every part of this organization is selling to advertisers, and when this guy mentioned the condom brand, he was like, what? What? Like weird. No, it’s not weird. Everything is a fucking brand in this. I mean, well, I guess maybe it’s.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:56] Maybe the joke was just like female condoms.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:58] Oh, it’s female condoms.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:00] I think so.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:01] Is it?

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:03] oh. I get it now. Women don’t need those shit. Cool.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:13] Do those still exist?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:15] I think so. Yeah. A version of them?

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:18] How do they work?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:20] I’ll tell you. At one end it’s like a diaphragm, right? You fold it. You tuck the whole thing inside, and it’s like. The whole thing is that it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:30] Creates a wall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:31] It’s like a it’s like a bag is coming out. Yeah. And so you go inside the bag.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:38] Got it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:38] The diaphragm thing then pops open so that it is tight in there. And that that’s what you got.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:45] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:46] I I’ve heard.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:50] Right. I think that’s right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:55] Be safe out there. Providence. These fucking monsters are out here raw dogging each other. Look under your seat. You’ve got a female condom. Fox in the box. Fox in the box.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:13]  Let’s watch the rest of this rules because it’s worthy if you’ve not seen the movie to just hear some more rules. The ball must be held at all times. Player gear may be only used to dislodge the ball or prevent a score. A team gaining possession must first do the rabbit hole.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:33] By the way, Paul, just pause it hear for a second. Look at how small this ring is. Yeah, there are four motorcycles that are about to arrive in there. Four. Two on each team.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:44] This is the circus level size. Here’s the other thing. Imagine you tune in to Sunday. You know, Sunday afternoon football. They go, all right, everybody, let me explain the game. It’s called football. We got two teams. That’s what the field looks like. Like this is not game one. But it seems like every like this is like okay, I got it. I got to explain it again and the sports called basketball. Players got to dribble it. And if they stop dribbling it’s called a double dribble. And then they gotta shoot it into a net. But they can only shoot it into one net. If they shoot in the other net, it doesn’t count.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:24] And now to start the game, the live band that soundtracks this sport, including Slipknot.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:32] I thought that was a great idea.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:36] Slipknot is one of the bands.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:38] Did you see that pink was on the wall?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:40] What?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:41] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:42] Okay. I was like, is that pink or does it look like pink? But I was like, it is pink. Pink is on like at one point when Chris Klein’s walking through something. Pink is like singing, she’s another one of the she’s out in Mongolia, you know, supporting roller ball in 2002.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:59] That’s incredible because I couldn’t make heads or tails out of, like, heat. Like what it is it here comes the boom? What’s that song? There are so many bad.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:10] Slipknot was digitally inserted into the film.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:13] No.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:13] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:14] So I’m sorry. Say that again.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:16] Slipknot, not unlike a female condom, was slipped in to the movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:22] It was slipped into the knot?

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:25] No, they were. Slipknot was digitally inserted into the film after. Because, like, so do we need to, get this movie more popular? We need to get Slipknot in there. So I think this is like a majority of CGI budget was spent to put them behind the wall.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:40] Wow. I thought it was effective as far as I’m concerned. I love that this movie took on like a labor movement. And the rise. I really did, I was like, okay, okay, roller ball. You know, the workers movement and the workers of the mine rising up at the end, I was very much on board for. Oh, yeah, I really was. I was like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:08] At the beginning in, at the right in this, next, beat when they’re talking and it’s I, maybe it’s Chris Klein’s first game. Is this first game I’m not sure.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:18] He seems to know everybody.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:19] Regardless, one of the opposing players they introduced as the local boy made good. You know, he’s he’s the big bruiser local boy made good. He he was from the mines and now he’s their number one player. I was like, I want to watch a movie about that guy. I’m rooting for the fucking miner. Who is out there being like, I have only this.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:26:44] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:44] Otherwise I go back to the mine.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:26:46] Oh, my God, I had there were so many people in this movie I wanted full movies about. All of the miners. Every single one. Every one of the characters. Yeah. The other, the other characters in this movie, I want a full movie. And then multiple sequels about is their head coach. That woman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:03] Yes. That woman was great.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:06] Isn’t it great a woman coaching this sport so many years ago?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:12] You loved to see it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:14] Was she a good coach? I can’t quite tell.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:16] Because nobody knows what she was coaching. What plays was she calling?

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:21] It seemed to me that the sport got more interesting, or at least easier to follow once all hell broke loose. Like when that guy got smashed in the face. Now it was a steel ball, right?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:33] It seems like it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:33] But when he smashed his face, it kind of felt like a water balloon popped on his face.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:38] I think that was his face. I think it was sweat and teeth. And he was fucked up that guy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:46] But then when Chris Klein, on his first game again, not sure knocked on the wall to be like, hey Ska band start it back up. Let’s go. Like I’m like, oh, I understand this game more now on some level, like the violent version of the game, I think I and I don’t know.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:05] So here’s what I think a game of Roller ball looks like. I think that you have to. You first start off. There’s there’s one sort of section you have to go through. If you’re on offense, that special rabbit hole.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:21] Which seems awkward as hell.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:23] You get out of that thing, and then you have to go into the other team’s area with the ball twice before you can score, which means throwing that steel ball against a gong?

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:36] That explodes. Nope. But you see what I think.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:39] That’s the game.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:39] I think you have to go. I think you have to go around twice. Then you can go through the rabbit hole, and when you kind of pop out of the rabbit hole, that’s what puts you in scoring position. Then, throw it at the gong.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:52] I’m not leaving this theater until we know and have played at least one round successfully.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:58] To be honest, the stage is the size of a ring, as far as I can see.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:03] Yes. And we have two motorcycles backstage.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:06] Let’s go.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:07] But you basically. The motorcyclists are the blockers and the roll and the rollerbladers are the offense.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:16] But if you’re, okay, this was my problem with the game. If I’m playing roller ball, one of the strategies that I would employ is pretending to have the ball and skating around.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:28] Quarterback sneak.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:29] All of them. Yes, like a sneak. All of them when they have the ball or like and just roller blading around.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:37] Can they pass the ball?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:38] Yes, they can.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:39]  And they also criticized Chris Klein for being a ball hog, right, not passing or whatever. And but I think they’re doing that for the viewer at home because it’s a terrible strategy to be like, here I am, here I go. You know, you should be like, everybody should be pretending they have the ball. You should be confusing the, you know.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:59] But I think with a reason why they have to show it is because the same reason when he drinks the Fanta after, after winning it. Show the label. Show the label. He shows the label. They got to hold up that ball because for whatever reason, in 2002, television reception is real bad. It’s like, looks like you’re watching 3D movies without the glasses. And I’m like, they’re like, guys, you got to hold up the ball because it’s basically static. I mean, why did TV go backwards?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:29] Because it. I’m assuming because this isn’t Paul. I’m so sorry. North American cable. This. We’re not even on fiber optic cable.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:41] We’re not even in, like the first six channels. So I couldn’t understand that when our main, our main bad guy was upset he wasn’t in the first six channels.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:51] We’re watching channel 56.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:54] As everyone knows, back in 2002, you started watching the channel two.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:00] Okay, okay. Got it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:02] Everybody knows when you start watching, when you start watching TV, you start at two, then you go to three and on. Nothing’s on three, you go to four. It’s such a funny concept. Like, you got to be in the first six. No. One. This is like a world in which cable doesn’t exist. But yet it’s 2002.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:23] And when, like, you turn off your TV, when you turn it back on and automatically starts at the beginning of the channels.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:31] I also found it fascinating. And I could spend the whole rest of the show just talking about the two roller ball games.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:39] But, well, that’s the whole movie, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:41] I’m so sorry, June, but you’re wrong, because there is a beat in between where the movie is fast and furious? Where they get out.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:50] Oh yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:51] Sports cars are splayed out. Everybody gets to jump all over. Street races go through town.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:56] I laughed so hard. I literally you had already left the hotel room. I was crying, laughing by myself when they cut the night vision camera.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:08] Oh my God.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:14] I rewound. I rewound thinking my thing must be fucked up.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:20] Why are we in night vision? Whose night vision are we in?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:24] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:25] We have not seen anyone put on night vision goggles.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:29] And it makes no sense to be like we want to shoot at night. We can’t light it, so we’ll just use night vision. Well, I feel like McTiernan again. I just we haven’t really stated this. This movie is directed by an action movie legend.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:43] Die hard. Predator. Thomas Crown affair. Die hard with a vengeance. Last action hero. The hunt for Red October. I mean, this is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:52] And he goes to prison for being for the wiretapping fraud of Anthony Pellicano.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:58] For this movie. I was going to throw it to you to say, can you explain? I know a little bit because I did some research for the show, but can you explain?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:07] I can’t explain exactly how it relates to this movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:10] I can, so.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:11] Thank you.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:12] Basically, and I want to get to night vision as well.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:15] And I and I just did just before this. Anthony Pellicano, notorious Hollywood fixer. There is a documentary about him called Sin Eater The Crimes of Anthony Pellicano. Good. Incredible documentary. Sorry. Go ahead.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:30] So basically a couple things happened with this movie. Number one, this movie was like a much more like interesting sci fi or futuristic film that’s talking about how, you know, advertising.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:44] The original. You mean the James Caan one.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:46] But then this script that leaked on Ain’t It Cool News? We’re talking old school, right? So it leaked. Oh my God, the new Rollerball script. It fixes all the problems of the first movie. It’s way more interesting. It’s about society and corporations and sports and the way that they treat athletes. And John McTiernan comes in, it’s like, get rid of all that shit. I need more Rollerball, and we don’t need the political commentary. So he rips all that out of the script, makes this movie. Screens it. In the screening. The test screening, people are jeering like, boo, this sucks.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:29] “Somebody make a podcast about why this is so bad in the future.”

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:34] And. And so he’s forced to reshoot and reedit the movie. Cut it out. Take out all the violence. It was a much harder R, and took out a lot of the nudity, and he was trying to mess it around. And so the issue was he was trying to blackmail one of the producers of this movie. So he contacted Anthony Pellicano. It’s like, wiretap his phone. And if he says something shitty about the people who work at the studio, then I can say to him, hey, motherfucker, I heard you say that. So now you got to work with me so I can get more money to make my movie. Like, he was like trying to capture evidence on this producer, that the producer is saying one thing to him and one thing to the studio because they felt like. Or he felt like they weren’t at they were at odds about what the movie should be. So the FBI calls him and goes, hey, did you ever ask Anthony Pellicano to wiretap somebody? He’s like, No. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know he had that capability. And they go, well, here’s a tape of you saying, can you wiretap somebody? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Then I did it. And and he goes to jail.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:45] Yeah. Oh, he goes to jail.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:47] Yes. For this movie because he was trying to get.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:50] Can you imagine? Can you imagine going to jail trying to protect your cut of roller ball. You made Die Hard.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:10] He went to jail for a year.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:15] That’s a long time.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:18] And the reason why he went for such a long time, the judge said, you think you’re above the law. You have shown no remorse. You’ve lived a privileged life and you simply want to continue that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:30] He’s like, sir, I did not direct above the law.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:35] And he went to, he went to Yankton, South Dakota, to serve in a white collar, basically white collar criminals. But, it’s quite so to get to night vision. In the reshooting of this movie. One of the issues was this whole sequence is way too dark, and they didn’t have money to go reshoot it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:59] So they just put?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:01] Night vision?

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:04] They just put night vision over it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:07] I’ll say this. I’ll say this because it was an insane choice. And and and that your explanation makes it double insane. But as I was watching it, I was like, this is kind of cool.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:22] It’s weird because it’s as if the filmmakers became a documentary. It was like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:29] What it felt like. I thought, who? So. So now there’s a documentarian behind the camera filming this situation.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:38] It’s a mockumentary.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:40] And then we kill one of the three main characters.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:46] Easily the most charismatic character.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:49] LL Cool J.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:50] Are you sure he’s dead?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:57] What do you mean?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:59] So this was the point. I might have gotten up during this sequence to go to get a glass of water.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:05] I thought there was like a post-credits scene that I had missed. Oh, no, he’s for sure dead.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:09] He’s for sure, dead. Okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:14] He makes a jump, though. He’s about to get to the the gate to enter safe space.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:21] A beautiful jump.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:21] POW! And and the bike wipes out and, you know, but again, because it’s the night vision, the you can’t see much.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:30] You don’t even get a moment with a main character’s death. It’s from a distance.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:36] That’s why I thought I just missed.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:38] He blew up. It’s like watching like like footage of like war. It’s like, oh, yeah, something blew up there because it’s all white now. It’s like, that’s what his death was like. Yeah, I guess I don’t know, like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:52] Could honestly, I choose to believe he’s still alive and well. That’s my choice.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:57] Here’s the thing they wipe out. They wipe out on the bike. They’re close to the bridge. The bridge is going up, and they’re fighting about who should get on the bike and who should live. And and Chris Klein says, You go, you’ve got a family, you’ve got kids. Get out there, go to the embassy, get them to come get me. Blah blah blah. I just was like, save L.L. cool J, kill Chris Klein so that so that the movie becomes interesting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:26] But this is the premise of this movie or this is the plot of this movie, this league is corrupt? Because it would be one thing if you go in and it looks like the NBA, right, you’d be like, oh shit is corrupt. But this looks like this looks like backyard wrestling. And he’s like, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe this fucking dungeon that I’m in. There’s weird money changing hands.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:55] The minute I arrive at Roller ball HQ, if I’m Chris Klein and I see that Jean Reno is the head of this organization. I’m like, oh, no, there’s a villain in charge of here.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:09] Absolutely. As soon as I see a jester hat come out, I’m asking some major question.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:16] Oh yeah. And the fact that Chris Klein goes to him and it’s like, hey, I, I think someone cut this helmet strap. I’m like, dude, are you a fucking moron?

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:29] If we want to talk about fighting. This movie has a moment in it that I told you I was watching on 1.25 speed, which just a little faster.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:39] I gotta remember that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:41] And just a little faster that when when Chris Klein does fight Jean Reno at the end I want to get to all that. They jump cut the fight scene and I go, oh, clearly 1.25 speed has fucked up the fight. I went back to normal speed. No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:58] Throughout the movie, there’s weird jumpy editing. I will say, well.

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:02] That is primarily a.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:04] Scene that we just watched.

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:05] Yeah, primarily because they cut out plot points for the reshoots, so they couldn’t afford to do a lot of reshoots because they ran out of money. The budget was 70 million.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:17] Whoa. No

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:18] 70 million?

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:20] 70 million.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:20] That’s twice as much money as the movie we saw last night. The King’s daughter that was shot at Versailles.

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:28] This is shot in a warehouse in Calgary. This. So 70 million. So they just cut out scenes. So there’s moments in the movie where you will watch, like, somebody talking to Chris Klein. Like, I want to tell you something right now. Cut. All right, so get out there and have a great game. It’s like whoa, wait. Like and like it. It’s very bizarre.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:49] Constantly. So much so that the first couple of times I rewatched again, I rewound thinking. And there must have been I must have hit a button or something. And no, I obviously I didn’t. And then I was like, oh, this is just all chopped up and it’s a fucking mess.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:06] And the fight scene, though, I don’t know why you need to jump cut a fight scene. It’s like either it looked so bad, like the Chris Klein, punching. It’s like. It’s like slowmo.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:19] First of all, you have Chris Klein, who has who does not have a weapon against multiple Russian men who have guns.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:26] Well, June, he’s got a stool. We all know a stool can take a shotgun blast. Back in medieval times, most people, knights use stools.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:43] One of the funniest shots to me was when we were preparing for the second game of the movie, and there was a shot of the team, the red. What are they called?

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:53] The the horsemen.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:54] Firecrackers, the horsemen.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:56] The red firecrackers.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:58] When the firecrackers come out of the locker room, it’s set up with the music and everything, like where this is supposed to be our, like, hero shot of them coming out to really win the day. And then I realized they’re all on rollerblades because something about the cadence of their walk, I was like, this is weird, this is strange. And then I realized they’re rolling out there, and it really revealed how dumb this movie is and how dumb they are to even try to, like, create this sequence when they’re all just rolling out there.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:38] It’s a tough it is a tough state.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:41] To face a team that appears to have in the center of it, a character based on the Knights who say knee in the oh yeah, in the Monty Python movie. Like with a big Knights thing on, I couldn’t make heads or tails.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:58] Well, that’s like the wrestling part of it because of, like, what’s the regulation here? You would think they would have a regulation helmet, but like some people’s faces are kind of out. Some people are like like Rebecca Romaine is like fully but she’s in the full mask, like, which I would do if I was in.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:14] Right, by the way. And I love that the visual of that the a couple of people have big, great masks that I want. I wanted so much more of that, so much more interest in the design elements and the stuff that seemed really make it the future then. I don’t know, it just. Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:44:31] Do people think it was the future? Okay. Thank you. But let’s not be so judgmental.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:38] Let’s be sure, Paul.

 

Paul Scheer [00:44:42] Sure, sure. But there’s some of you out there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:45] I feel like the first one has that future element of it, because I feel like it’s part of that clutch of movies like Logan’s Run and all those movies that were like, the future is going to be totally fucked. And this movie and of course, but the savior is James Caan. He’s got shoulders, baby.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:05] I, I do love the end of this movie because also we talked about losing. We’ve talked about hockey, we’ve talked about rollerblading. And then Chris Klein works the shotgun like a fucking pro. Like, like this is a guy who takes a broken shotguns. Like, oh yeah. Bam. I’m like. He knows how to shoot a fucking gun.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:28] He’s a hockey player.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:31] He’s from Texas

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:32] Why do they use a fucking the the the shotgun. Like, as a stick and, you know, throw an ashtray at someone’s head, like, give me a hockey moment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:40] Well, there’s also a moment where he. He’s somebody. Who is it that pulls a gun on somebody, and he fully disarms the he. He seems to have Jason Bourne level skills but doesn’t ever have the moment a la Jason Bourne, where he’s like, how do I know how to do this? We’ve never seen him trained for anything, but he’s like, bam, bam, bam, bam, now I’ve got your gun. And I was like, what I what, how?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:04] Let me ask a question. In the beginning when they’re all chanting, Jonatan. At that point. At that point. Is that his first game?

 

Audience [00:46:16] No.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:18] I thought it was his first.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:20] I thought so too, but apparently not. He’s like, I guess he’s the star is the number one or the whatever.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:25] I mean, we really cut into that hard. It’s like, hey, join me. Never. And by the way, if you’re being chased, if you’re being chased by the cops for street luging, take off your pads like he looks like there he is, the guy in the kneepads and the elbow.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:42] How does LL Cool J find him? He’s driving around in a Porsche, opens the door like, get in.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:51] LL Cool J just out for a morning drive in San Francisco. Chris Klein, San Francisco native.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:59] My guy. What are you doing? Get in. Come play roller ball in Kazakhstan. Come fucking away in a hot sauna. Okay? And when Paul goes out there, I want to hear from people who have fucked in a hot sauna. No, I don’t think so. Well, with a female condom.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:22] Here’s the thing. What I love about Chris Klein is like, he has a fun delivery the next time. Can we do this in a bed? Like, it’s like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:30] You know, with, like, sheets and stuff? Yeah, yeah, we know what a bed is.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:47:36] I was so confused in that post-coital scene in the hot sauna. Why? She says Rebecca’s like, well, you know, I spoke to one of the TV guys and they showed me that it was a fixed moment and they fixed the play. And then we don’t ever get to see where that TV computer is, but it seems like it’s in the sauna.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:00] I agree, I agree it’s not, but I agree.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:03] Yeah. There’s like it feels like she just walks to another wall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:08] Yeah. And she’s like she minority reports it. Exactly. Enhance, enhance. And by the way, hot rocks advance. Enhance.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:21] Why would they keep all five cameras? It’s like, I don’t know, they let’s let’s go to the crowd. Let’s ask the crowd some questions.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:28] Be careful, Paul. Providence is no joke. Look at this house, gorgeous people. Balcony! What’s up? Balcony.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:43] All right. Yeah, I’m out here. I’m here in Kazakhstan with all my rollerblading, or my roller balling pals. What’s your name?

 

Audience Member [00:48:54] Ben.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:54] Ben, if there was a better title for this movie, what would you maybe give it? I’m putting you on spot, but.

 

Audience Member [00:49:01] Chris, Chris Klein would kill for good sportsmanship.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:03] I like it. Good sportsmanship. Question mark. Okay, what’s your, question?

 

Audience Member [00:49:10] Can we talk about the boyoiyoing sound effects?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:13] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:15] Yes. Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:18] I figure I know what it is. But yes, let’s talk about it because I lost my mind.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:25] It is like it felt like the editor was mad at the director.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:30] I believe it. What it is is them riding the bike through metal wire and the metal wire breaking causes that sound to actually kind of happen. And so I was like, oh, but did they juice it up because it’s so forward in the mix? Then I was like, I can’t even barely see that you’re driving through a fence in night vision. And do you think do you think you’re helping me understand by adding this sound? Because if I wanted to enjoy the movie more, add this sound, add Looney Tunes sounds throughout like, when Chris Klein sees Rebecca Romain. He should be like, OWOOGA OWOOGA!

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:12] I will say, I will say when, when the big man gets hurt and gets that ball smashed into his face. I thought the birds around his head was very tasteful. And the big lump. Ooh. All right, so I’m here with somebody, two timer or someone seen last night show and tonight show.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:30] Amazing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:31] Thank you for coming back.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:34] That’s right. Yeah. That’s right. Wait, did they ask, do you recognize them?

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:38] Well, yeah, yes, I do, Jason, because I make eye contact with every member of the audience.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:42] Impressive. I’m impressed. Now.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:45] What is your name and your question?

 

Audience Member [00:50:47] My name is Caroline. My question is, after a peruse through, Wikipedia, it says it takes place in 2005.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:57] Yes! (To the haters) Fuck you. Fuck you.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:51:04] Wait. So they placed this movie, like, three years in the future?

 

Audience Member [00:51:09] So my question about that is so the original came out in the 70s takes place in 2018. What is the point of jumping it three years if you’re trying to make a dystopian future claim in anyway, just keep it the same year.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:51:26] I mean, I guess a lot can happen in three years.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:29] I have a feeling it was directly related to the budget, although the budget was enough to afford.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:35] But, also if I’m saying yeah, I think they, I think they couldn’t set it too far into the future because they wanted to have Slipknot and rap rock and they wanted the vibe to be all of that. Contemporary was popular.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:49] So they didn’t want to wreck the suspension of disbelief like, oh, Pink isn’t that old in the future? Like, we can’t keep her that young because in that it’s been all that money on aging her up with makeup.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:59] Wait, can I ask you a question, Paul? And forgive me if you don’t know the answer, but one of these nerds will, when this movie is made, is you said 2002 had any Fast and Furious come out yet? One?

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:10]  Yes. Oh well, this is the time of triple X. This was the time of street sports in movies like we were like, yes, more Dan Cortez, more rock and jock.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:22] That’s what it feels like. It feels like they were trying to make this an extreme sport version of whatever the fuck of roller derby nonsense and make it extreme, but then also with the the car racing and all the fucking nonsense, they felt like all amped up, like that kind of garbage.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:41] I do think, you know, there’s, there’s something interesting with the stakes of this sport, like knowing and they say it a few times in the movie, if you enter that ring, like you might be paralyzed. Like there’s it has a risk of spinal injury that they set up.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:57] But it’s not like it’s a Kumatay. It’s not like it’s, you know, it’s certain death, like this is a sport.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:06] You might have a serious spinal injury.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:08] Yeah, but isn’t that football? Like, did it you expect? Didn’t you expect to look up in the boxes where Jean Reno was and Taylor Swift would be up there because she’s dating Jonathan Cross now and she’s like

 

All [00:53:27] (Chanting) Jonathan!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:27] And then two years from now, she puts out a song about Jonathan.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:36] Oh my gosh, you wore so many pads. You’re right. You wore so many pads that kept me away from you. Your helmet was so thick. Yeah, yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:47]  I love that you’re, like, writing lyrics from the audience.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:51] Look, I mean, she’s a wordsmith. I’m trying to.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:52] Figure out my heart. I couldn’t put an armadillo around my heart. There’s something there.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:00] There’s an invisible motorcycle that kept you running defense while I was trying to get offense. Yeah. Anyway, well, you figure it out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:06] You skated into my heart.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:09] Your love is a rabbit hole.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:11] Here’s what. Ha!

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:13]  Luge, Luge, Luge. I lost my lover.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:17] I would like for, a series of Taylor Swift themed or influenced Rollerball second opinions. Not, I guess, tonight or in the future. Or.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:29] Yes. When this comes to that, we are gonna throw down the gantlet on Last Looks. Please send us. That’s what I mean. If Taylor Swift was dating Jonathan and they broke up. What would that song be. And I don’t think that Taylor and Travis are going to break up. I feel like they’re in it for the long term. All right, so.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:46] I agree.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:49] Wait, you both think they’re in it for the long haul?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:51] And I love their love, and we are 1000% behind them.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:55] I’m happy to say it is doomed.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:59] We love it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:00] Here’s the thing, I know a lot more about Taylor Swift lately. And I’ll say this her last relationship was six plus years. So she’s, you know, she’s capable of that, a long relationship. I’m excited.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:14] I’m thrilled. It’s given. us a real boost.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:18] Yeah. We need it. Yep. All right. Your name and your question.

 

Audience Member [00:55:24] Hi. My name is Molly. And my question is, Chris Klein never hooks his helmet.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:32] Thank you, Molly!

 

Audience Member [00:55:33] His helmet is always hanging there, but everybody else’s helmets, flies off and has mayhem. And his helmet always stays on.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:42] And it’s never clipped.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:44] It’s all we have. We have two people at the same because you both stand up, share the mic, share the mic because you both have the same question.

 

Audience Member [00:55:49] In the first roller ball game. Chris is very upset the man is smashed in the face and his helmet is cut, yet he is not strapping his helmet on. Why?

 

All [00:56:06] [Angry Indiscernible]

 

Audience Member [00:56:15] We’re blaming you!

 

June Diane Raphael [00:56:16] Paul. Be careful out there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:19] We didn’t put it on. We didn’t make it. Why are you so mad at us? We agree. It’s in my notes too. Why doesn’t he clip his helmet?

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:30] Your name and your question.

 

Audience Member [00:56:31] My name is Brett. Is LL Cool J an accountant?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:34] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:56:35] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:35] Great question. Yes he is.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:56:38] Yes, yes. That’s one of the sort of running storylines which is that he could give. He is misunderstood. Someone asks his if his mom is a crack whore. She says he’s a pediatrician. He says she’s a pediatrician. So that is something. It’s not developed enough to make anything of it, but it seems that there’s something there.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:59] By the way, LL Cool J says like, hey, you think I can fuck girls? Being an accountant but then we reveal later, he’s got a wife and kids.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:09] Listen. What happens at Rollerball stays at Rollerball, you know what I mean?

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:13] But now I am in the balcony with my balcony monsters. All right, your your name and your question.

 

Audience Member [00:57:21] My name is Jonathan, actually.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:23] Whoa! Jonathan.

 

All [00:57:24] Jonathan. Jonathan. Jonathan.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:28] Okay. And your question.

 

Audience Member [00:57:30] Speaking of the ratings.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:57:32] Do you mean the global instant ratings? Or what is it called? The Global instant ratings?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:40] We don’t have that now.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:42] Which also because the movie takes place in the future.

 

Audience Member [00:57:46] That that was my question. How what form of rating system just automatically goes up the moment somebody gets hit?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:57:51] What is the technology there? Technology that could only exist in 2005.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:58] I will say this. The one thing that I am so amazed of, and maybe I’m speaking out of school, but there was a Heather Graham show, an hour long show, and the ratings are so bad that it was canceled after the first commercial break. Don’t look it up, but I’m pretty sure I’m not lying. But yeah, I think they can get some ratings right away. They can see who turned off, but it seems like the ratings are pretty high. Why does he need that North American contract? I mean, unless that’s low ratings, but a 20 share.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:28] I was going to say they’ve got 19. They’ve got 20 there. They’re climbing up I mean that is these are they by the end of it they’re getting into like mash numbers.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:38] It is interesting that at one point it does seem like hockey’s sort of being introduced where there’s like some sort of a disk or a stick becomes a weapon that will, at the very end where things get really chaotic.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:54] That item they had, it seemed like it was like sharpened and it was like a smashing thing or. But I couldn’t tell what was it itself?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:02] No idea.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:02] It was a lacrosse stick?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:04] It’s not normally a part of roller ball, right?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:08] It’s always there?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:10] Wow.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:12] I feel like that would be a real advantage. To have a lacrosse stick would be a real advantage.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:18] Well, I mean, I think the motorcycle’s a pretty big advantage too. Yeah. When you are just rollerblading around.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:24] Something about professional hockey that always makes me laugh is that penalty box.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:30] Fox in the box.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:32] And there is a fox in the box in this movie. But I Mike, that’s real. In real life, in a professional sport, occasionally people are put in a penalty box.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:41] A timeout.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:42] And have to sit there, watch the rest of the game.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:44] Grown men are given a timeout.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:46] Grown men. And they don’t get to sit with the rest of their teammates. I don’t know why. They have to sit in a special little box. And every time I see. We went to a Rangers game a few years ago and it just makes me laugh so hard to see them sitting there and waiting till they can get out of that box. Oh God, it’s funny.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:05] We need more penalty boxes. I think adults being put in timeout in a public way is great.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:11] So funny. It’s so funny.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:14] Absolutely. There should be public penalty box is just people can just be placed in.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:21] You make an inappropriate comment at work.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:25] I want a penalty box in this theater. Anytime someone does something a little wrong. They gotta go sit there, sit in the box.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:31] Two minutes. Think about it. We all need a break.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:34] And that I like. I like when they they then cut to the penalty box and it’s like. And in the shame box.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:41] All right.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:41] Oh my God.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:42] Obviously we have issues with this movie. But there are people out there that think this movie is perfect. They think that Rollerball is a great movie. So now it’s time to hear from them. It is now time for second opinions.

 

Audience Member [01:00:59] My name is Francis. I’m going to Central Asia. I’m going to play this crazy game. I just want to play hockey. But I need a quick payday. Rollerball is a bloody hobby. You might call me insane, but I’ve got a blank face, baby. And Chris Klein’s my name.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:20] Yeah. Did you just come up with that?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:27] Did you just make it up? Franci, come back here!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:34] He’s walking away! Get out! Leave! Just go home. It’s over. Black it out. The show’s done. That’s it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:41] Wow.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:42] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:44] Rollerball on Amazon has 498 reviews. 69% are five stars.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:52] Come on, come on.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:54] Average rating.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:55] 69.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:56] 69.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:58] Providence is like. Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:02] The writer of this review is named Jeff, but it’s Jef 7. That’s how he spells it. Jeff. All right, so here we go. This is written in 2016. So recently ish in conjunction to this movie. “I like this movie due to the actors. LL, Chris, Ramen-Stavos. I may have gotten her name wrong.”

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:34] Ramen-Stamos.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:36] Robbin-Stavos?

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:38] Ramen-Starbucks.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:45] You’re saying, Adele Dazim?

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:48] LL, Chris, and Ramen-Stavos.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:51] The t shirt. L.L. and Chris and Ramen-Stavos. It’s pretty good. Ramen-Stavos sounds. I will say delicious. Also I’m pretty hungry.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:08] Greek Chinese.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:10] Is there late night food in Providence? I’m hearing yes.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:17] Oh, man. All right, “L.L. Chris and Ramen-Stavos. I may have gotten her name wrong. The players are the good guys, while the owners see them as nothing more than dirt. Your knee hurts. You’re traded or vanished. Very popular. You’re dead if you will not conform. This movie is about conformity or banishment. Of course. The choice you make is not necessarily yours. Good entertainment value. Just my opinion. Five stars.” The title “Take that”. Adonnie writes, “Top ten movie even if it’s just for the soundtrack. One of my favorite movies because of the soundtrack. This is a great film. If you haven’t seen it, you need to. If you see it on TV, you’ll need to get it here. The cut scenes are worth it. You gotta see the whole thing and you need to see it again just for the soundtrack.” Oh well, get ready. Because this reviewer’s name is I am not a professional credit and wouldn’t want to be one. That’s the name of the reviewer. I am not a professional credit and wouldn’t want to be one.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:37] Do you think that’s supposed to be critic?

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:40] I think so, and you’ll see more.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:45] By the way, I apologize for jumping because that seems like where it’s going.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:51] The title is “A movies or B movies or TV show. My criteria for movies or TV’s are did it entertain me? Yes or no.” That’s the title of the review. The review: “Yes. This movie entertained me. Five stars.” Now, I often don’t do this, but we go to first opinions and I bring this up for a reason. Kay Butterfield writes. Title “Nudity!” Review. “This is rated PG 13, but there is full on nudity. We turned it off and we did not finish watching it. One star.” So then. We researched a little bit more. Molly Reynolds went and researched it a little bit more and we found this, Jason, this is for you, a review of Bosch by the same person.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:01] Let’s go!

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:06] Also one star. “Language is ridiculous. Cannot believe that such harsh language is used. It is not real. It was a very offended. I was very offended by the amount and types of language used. I love the books and I know he’s a crusty old cup, but this is ridiculous. I will not watch any more episodes. I couldn’t even finish the first one. One star.” For Bosch.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:38] What the fool? That’s absurd. But Bosch has language that I. I vehemently disagree with that review and with the previous review, because one of my favorite things was all the boobs in the movie. Give me more boobs. Go all the time. Boobs in the movie, please. Especially when you’re working out where they naturally are just out. Can I just say one more thing? Just because boobs remind me of it and I had it in my notes. It always makes me laugh so hard. And out of curiosity, you didn’t happen to pull any of the footage from the the nightclub party that club they go to? Okay, so after the first roller ball game, they jump in fast and furious cars. They race through the streets, they go to a nightclub, and the nightclub is full on movie nonsense nightclub. There’s nude people, there’s craziness, there’s chaos, blah blah blah and thumping music. And I was like, it always makes me laugh to remember that in order to shoot this scene, it was dead silence. Dead. Dozens and dozens of naked people, people partying. And in the movie, it’s like due to, like, terrible dance music. And it’s. But day of it was just LL and Chris Klein talking and silence.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:05] It is the funniest thing when you ever have to shoot those scenes. It’s so eerie because they’re like (silence).

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:12] Because it’s like, okay, and background and action and everything. And then you’re like, I don’t know, where are we going to have an event? And everybody has to do pantomime like nonsense.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:27] I think about that in a John Wick movie when he goes to this cool parties that’s like silent. All right. Well, I guess the question is this. Would you recommend this movie?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:39] I’m going to say this. I’m going to recommend the James Caan Rollerball. If you’re gonna watch a rollerball. Watch that rollerball. Okay. Now watch this rollerball. If you really want to go, like, out of your mind. But that’s my rollerball.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:08:59] Yeah, I have to say, I. After watching this rollerball, I am interested in the original.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:05] Let’s not get crazy.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:09] Yeah. So I guess that’s something.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:10] The fact that I’ve never seen two roller balls is depressing. I will talk about it in therapy this week.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:18] Yeah, this this one was a real head scratcher. Although I will say it again, this is day two of this fall tour this fall HDTGM tour.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:30] Anybody coming to every show? Okay.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:33] All right. Great.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:35] That’s a no got it message received.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:39] But it’s day two. So as this has this week goes on like we will become more and more mentally deranged.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:46] Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:46] And so I’m starting to feel that happened already with this movie where I’m like I think it went down easily for me. I did watch it in real, in real speed.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:58] Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:59] And I can report that it’s watchable.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:02] Well, I would argue it’s because there’s limited plot, three giant rollerball scenes, which I would say of the hour in 38 minutes accounts for about an hour.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:14] I was going to say 50, 40, 50 minutes. But here’s what I’m going to say to echo your point and kind of like really hit it on the head, which is, imagine if this movie hadn’t been directed by John McTiernan, like a master of action. Yeah, all of those action scenes, you still are. You kind of know what’s going on. It’s well directed. It looks good in that sense. You kind of know who you’re meant to be following, who’s being bad to who. All the geography of it lines up. Imagine if it was directed so poorly that you were like, what the fuck is? Who is? What? What is up?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:45] Yes. And again, I am. I laughed so hard when the night vision came on. I can’t express.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:51] The night vision is worth it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:53] It was just really it was quite funny.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:55] I’m going to say you can take a pass, but let’s go to the audience. Would you recommend it? Audience. That’s a resounding no. I guess I should do it like this. Who would recommend it? Who would not?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:08] Pretty much just the. The recommends are like five dudes in the front row who are like, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:16] Give it up for Jason Mantzoukas, June Diane Raphael, and Beth Thomas in the back. Thank you so much for coming on a Thursday. We love you. Good night!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:26] Eat shit, Rhode Island!

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:30] And that’s the show. What a great show. Thank you to the staff at the Vets, our amazing tour manager Beth Thomas, and all of you in Providence who made it such a great time, people. If you want to see us on the road, you can. February 3rd in San Francisco as we are doing Samurai Cop. That’s right. We’ve never done it. And we’re doing it for the first time in San Francisco. Tickets are still available. February 3rd. Then we’re going to be heading across the pond to London, Glasgow, Belfast and Dublin from March 28th to April 3rd. London is seats away from being sold out both shows. Dublin is sold out so get your tickets for Glasgow and Belfast ASAP. And just so you know all of this you can find on HDTGM.com. And while you’re there, why don’t you preorder my book? Joyful Recollections of Trauma. It is a collection of stories from my childhood that you might have heard on How Did This Get Made but brand new ones. Truly brand new ones. I love this book. You can get it as an e-book, get it as an audiobook, which I’ll be narrating. And if you preorder it, it really, really helps me. And I’m gonna tell you this much. Keep your receipt because preorderers are going to get something very cool. Now, if you want to get your own Rollerball live show shirt, you can just go to Teepublic.com/stores/HDTGM, and you can get our shirt that says Rollerballed. Rollerballed is the shirt. I love it. It’s a great sticker. Get on it. And if you have any corrections and or omissions for this episode, I want to know about it. Go to our discord at Discord.gg/HDTGM or leave me a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK. That’s 619-PAUL-ASK. Then make sure you tune into next week to hear our Last Looks follow up episode and hear me respond to your messages. Plus, Jason and I, we’re going to have our live chat or a prerecorded chat with Moshe Kasher and as always, we will announce our next movie. I can’t wait! You can always find us online at HDTGM.com. And if you love the show, please tell your friends and write a review because it really does help. But really, word of mouth is the best way to get the word out. And last but not least, I have to say thank you to all of our listeners who support this show every week and our entire behind the scenes team who keep this show running. I’m talking about our producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer, Avril Halley, our associate producer Jess Cisneros, and our engineers Casey Holford and Rich Garcia. That’s all I got. See you next week on Last Looks. Bye for now.