EP. 227 — Ghost Haunting is like Dating

Clip
[00:27:44] Welcome to my Nightmare.
Betsy
[00:27:47] Well, Freddy Krueger is funny, and that’s big when it comes to all of this.
He’s got a sense of humor. He’s funny. He has fun with his kills.
Mano
[00:27:58] Uh huh. Jason
not funny. Not funny at all.
Betsy
[00:28:02] Not funny one bit like you would say, he’s one of those people where it’s
like, Was that a joke? And then you’re like, Oh, that was not a joke.
Mano
[00:28:09] Yeah, no.
Betsy
[00:28:10] And when you joke
, he just doesn’t get it.
Mano
[00:28:13] He does not get it. He’s slow. He is slow. That’s another thing to think
about. You’re going out to dinner.
Betsy
[00:28:20] But.
Mano
[00:28:20] He’s slow.
Betsy
[00:28:21] But he’ll get there.
Mano
[00:28:23] He’ll get there.
Betsy
[00:28:24] Without knowing it.
Mano
[00:28:26] Yeah, but at that point, you’ve been sitting there for 10 minutes. He pops
up and he’s like, Cha cha cha, Ma ma ma. And it’s like, I don’t know.
Betsy
[00:28:34] I mean,
we have plenty of friends like that.
Mano
[00:28:36] I know, it drives me nuts. Drives me nuts. I don’t need another Jason.
Betsy
[00:28:43] We’re used to that.
Mano
[00:28:44] Nuh nuh, I don’t know.
Betsy
[00:28:45] I think I have mine and I think I know who I want.
Mano
[00:28:48] I think my heart is leaning one way as well. And it could just be the
moment.
Betsy
[00:28:55] I mean, yeah, who knows, sometimes you’re in a mood to do and.
Mano
[00:28:58] Mood.
B
etsy
[00:28:59] You just gotta figure it out. Okay.
Mano
[00:29:01] One, two, three. Freddy.
Betsy
[00:29:07] Kruger! Nice. Freddy Krueger moving on. I mean, Jason, it’s crazy that
they went up against each other.
Mano
[00:29:14] Oh, it’s wild. It’s nuts.
Betsy
[00:29:16] First round. Like, that’s that’s like in World Cup.
Mano
[00:29:18] Unprecedented.
Betsy
[00:29:20] Where it’s like Argentina versus, like, in, like, Germany or something.
Mano
[00:29:25] Okay. They both s
mack, as the kids say. They smack it.
Betsy
[00:29:31] Are kids saying smack now?
Mano
[00:29:32] They say smack. They say smack.
Betsy
[00:29:35] Cool.
Mano
[00:29:35] Yeah. I mean, look, I think it just it was just a gut feeling. Krueger is a
lit
tle more fun. Jason. A lot of, a lot of nights at home where you’re starting all the
conversations. Whereas I think Freddy
–
.
Betsy
[00:29:45] Yes a lot of work.
Mano
[00:29:45] A lot of work, a lot of work.
Betsy
[00:29:46] But then on the opposite e
nd, Freddy’s going to be a lot of work too.
Mano
[00:29:49] I know Freddy’s going to be like, do you like? He’s always going to be
running puns by you and it’s, like, very funny. It’s very funny.
Betsy
[00:29:53] Yeah, yeah. That’s good, that’s good.
Okay, that’s good. But.
Mano
[00:29:57] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:29:57] Yeah.
Mano
[00:29:58] Well, next we got. Pennywise V Grandma from Hereditay. Yes.
Betsy
[00:30:03] Yes. And I feel Grandma is just dead, right?
Mano
[00:30:06] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:30:08] The whole move?
Mano
[00:30:08] Yeah, she’s just dead. She’s just the evil spirit that kind of resembles the
weird gateway to Paimon and what not.
Betsy
[00:30:16] Cuz she was married to Paimon.
Mano
[00:30:18] Right.
Betsy
[00:30:19] Is
n’t she like, queen or something? And she’s
–
.
Mano
[00:30:21] Yes.
Betsy
[00:30:22] Married. But in the movie, she’s dead the whole time.
Mano
[00:30:25] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:30:26] We. Just see her dead, dead body.
Mano
[00:30:28] Your sister’s dead,
too. And if I could bring her back, I would. But we
can’t. I love that.
Betsy
[00:30:34] Yipes.
Clip
[00:30:36] Don’t you ever raise your voice to me. I am your mother.
Mano
[00:30:40] That monologue is so good.
Betsy
[00:30:40] Toni Collette should have gotten an Oscar. But nope.
Mano
[00:30:43] That was actually really stupid that she wasn’t. That was stupid.
Betsy
[00:30:46] Oh, it was outrageous.
Mano
[00:30:48] Outrageous. They’re so dumb. Okay, Pennywise torture of chi
ldren. Been
doing it since the 1700s, I believe?
Betsy
[00:30:56] I think even longer than that.
Mano
[00:30:57] Even longer. So really loves to torture children and turn the whole towns
into horrible places where people are emotionally detached. Pretty
cool.
Betsy
[00:31:05] Right. Comes back every like 27 years to just be like, Hey, it’s me again,
remember? And you’re like, Oh, man, you’re nasty. Kind of like Freddy Krueger.
Pennywise likes to fuck around with his victims, you know?
Mano
[00:31:20] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:31:20] It’s like you’re afraid of a leper. Okay, I’m gonna fucking make t that
leaper haunt you.
Mano
[00:31:25] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:31:25] You’re afraid of a nasty painting. Okay, that painting’s going to get ya.
Mano
[00:31:29] This is an interesting pair up, because it’s almost like emotional
detachment versus emotional anguish, like, you know what I mean?
Betsy
[00:31:37] Oooh. Right.
Mano
[00:31:37] Like, because the Pennywise world is filled with those dairy people we
know
and they’re like, ehh. And I mean, Hereditary is filled with gah! Like domestic.
Betsy
[00:31:47] Right.
Mano
[00:31:48] Acrimony.
Betsy
[00:31:50] Right, right. Oh man. And grandma started it all.
Mano
[00:31:56] Grandma started it all. Grandma l
ikes, you know, and they work by a fire.
They work via curses, tongue pops. Hmm. Interesting. Pennywise uses balloons, sewers
and all kinds of transformations.
Betsy
[00:32:08] Tons of stuff. I have mine.
Mano
[00:32:10] Me too actually.
Betsy
[00:32
:11] And I feel there’s one that’s like, Yeah man.
Mano
[00:32:14] Let’s go with our gut.
Betsy
[00:32:15] Okay.
Mano
[00:32:16] Okay.
Betsy
[00:32:17] One, two, three. Pennywise.
Mano
[00:32:21] Pennywise. Sorry Grandma.
Betsy
[00:32:23] I mean, sorry Grandma.
Mano
[00:32:23] Don’t tell Grandma she’s out of the Horror Bowl.
Betsy
[00:32:26] Like, also, I feel like if grandma was messing with me, like, I could still,
even if she’s married to Paimon, like I could still push her down some
stairs.
Mano
[00:32:35] Yeah. Yeah.
Betsy
[00:32:37] She wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
Mano
[00:32:39] I agree.
Mano
[00:32:39] Because as long as you don’t go into the weird little shack hut in the little
wooded area, you’re fine.
Betsy
[00:32:46] Right, I’m not going in there.
Mano
[00:32:48] Oh, heck, no.
Betsy
[00:32:49] That shit’s weird.
Mano
[00:32:49] And the second you have one bad dinner with the family, I’m like, I’m so
out.
Betsy
[00:32:54] I do not need to be nea
r these people one bit. I don’t need to be near
them one bit. I’m out of here.
Mano
[00:33:03] Uh huh So.
Betsy
[00:33:03] Whereas Pennywise will hunt you down. That’s scary.
Mano
[00:33:06] Yeah, really gets in your brains, you know, so far both of our first picks
get really in your brains.
Betsy
[00:33:12] They really do, in your brains.
Mano
[00:33:15] And we’re not just talking about their big penises.
Betsy
[00:33:19] You think Penn
ywise has a big wiener? Do you think Freddy Krueger has
a big wiener?
Mano
[00:33:23] Interesting. Who is the size queen out of these two?
Betsy
[00:33:27] The size Queen. I think they both have tiny wieners. Which isn’t bad.
Mano
[00:33:31] I think y
ou’re kind of right. It’s not bad, but you might be right about that.
Betsy
[00:33:35] I bet Pennywise has a funny chode.
Mano
[00:33:38] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Surprisingly.
Betsy
[00:33:42] Whoa!
Mano
[00:33:43] Oh, yeah. This is more of a doorst
op than anything.
Betsy
[00:33:47] Yeah, yeah.
Mano
[00:33:47] I think our next contestant has the biggest one in the competition.
Betsy
[00:33:51] Oh, hell yeah. We got Chucky versus Babadook.
Mano
[00:33:56] Babadook! Wow, very different. Very, v
ery, very different.
Betsy
[00:34:02] Very, very different.
Mano
[00:34:03] Right.
Betsy
[00:34:02] Okay.
Mano
[00:34:03] Both have to do with, like, the lost souls of tortured people. But one’s
actively evil and one’s like
–
.
Betsy
[00:34:11] One’s actively and one’s more like, I’m going to, like, seep into your
psyche.
Mano
[00:34:15] I’m going to make you crazy and eat rotted food in the fridge.
Betsy
[00:34:18] Which is very scary.
Mano
[00:34:20] That is scary.
Betsy
[00:34:21] Hone
stly, give me a doll that’s attacking me versus an entity or whatever
that like your, is in your mind that’s fucking you up.
Mano
[00:34:30] Are you sure though? Because you wouldn’t even let us and the
possessed doll to your house. You wouldn’t even let
us do that. And…
Betsy
[00:34:36] Yeah, no, you don’t want one at your house. Don’t you do this to me.
Mano
[00:34:40] I’ll bring it to my house.
Betsy
[00:34:42] You will?
Mano
[00:34:43] Yes.
Betsy
[00:34:44] Okay. Take it to your house, then.
Mano
[00:34:46] I will and I’ll document it.
Betsy
[00:34:48] Okay, great.
Mano
[00:34:49] It’ll be good.
Betsy
[00:34:50] It’s going to your house then.
Mano
[00:34:50] Great, everyone loves it. Everyone. Every
one is cheering.
Betsy
[00:34:54] Like what if it was Chucky style though? Like you could just kick it. You
would rather have
–
?
Mano
[00:34:58] I see what you’re saying. So you’re saying Chucky’s less scary than
another possessed kind of doll?
Betsy
[00:35:04] Yeah, because Chucky cracks jokes. These fucking dolls we’re reading
about don’t crack jokes.
Mano
[00:35:10] It’s true.
Betsy
[00:35:11] They’re not funny. They’re not running around.
Mano
[00:35:13] Chucky. One of my favorite things Chucky ever did was in the first one,
where just like a old lady gets off, old lady’s, like, Oh. What an ugly doll. And he just says,
Fuck you, bitch. Like, it’s just like a quiet little, like, fuck you hag or whatever it
is. And it’s
just like, yeah, Chucky is funny.
Clip
[00:35:30] Women. Can’t live with them. Period.
Betsy
[00:35:38] Chucky’s funny. Also, Chucky is like, very, like a very big queer ally.
Mano
[00:35:46] That’s actually true. I hate his family, thou
gh. I don’t want to hang out with
his family.
Betsy
[00:35:51] Why do you have his family? You hate his family?
Mano
[00:35:53] I don’t want to hang out with the Chucky family, his weird child. And then
Tilly and Tiffany are around all the time.
Betsy
[00:36:00] You don’t want to hang out with Tilly?
Mano
[00:36:03] Not really.
Betsy
[00:36:04] That seems wild. She seems fun.
Mano
[00:36:08] She might be. She might be. I’m just thinking about it. It’s just a factor.
You know, it’s a lot of f
amily time Whereas Babadook, unattached, free, loose.
Betsy
[00:36:16] But not but like so attached to you, you go crazy. That’s scary. But I
guess you also like like in Chucky, people think you’re crazy because a doll is trying to
attack you and nobody b
elieves you.
Mano
[00:36:28] Yeah, no one believes you.
Betsy
[00:36:28] And he sets you up to.
Mano
[00:36:31] Look crazy.
Betsy
[00:36:31] Look like you murdered people, so that’s pretty bad.
Mano
[00:36:35] Yeah, Babadook doesn’t. Well, I gues
s they both set you up, I guess in
different ways.
Betsy
[00:36:39] They both set you up. This is tough.
Mano
[00:36:42] I also, I think Babadook’s a little more handsome. Sorry, Chucky.
Betsy
[00:36:47] What?
Mano
[00:36:47] I think Babadook’s a little more handsome.
Betsy
[00:36:50] What?
Mano
[00:36:50] Little bit. Look, he’s a tall gentleman. He’s a tall drink of evil.
Betsy
[00:36:55] With like, an awful face.
Mano
[00:36:57] Yes. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, I like. I like the dark hair type, you
know? He’s hairy. He looks like one of those Mario, like, little, like electric guys. They’re
like fuzzy.
Betsy
[00:37:09] Yes. Okay. Who you don’t want to touch.
Mano
[00:37:12] Right. Right.
Betsy
[00:37:13] Mano’s into that. This is tough. I know what I’m going for, but I think
you’re going for the other.
Mano
[00:37:21] Let’s just. Let’s do it. Let’s do it.
Betsy
[00:37:22] Okay. One, two, three. Chucky.
Mano
[00:37:23] Chunky.
Betsy
[00:37:29] Ay, Chucky! Chucky’s funny.
Mano
[00:37:30] Chucky’s very funny. Chunky, you know, has a little bit more. I mean,
look, Chunky has about nine films under his belt. He’s got a little more experience.
Betsy
[00:37:39] And I me
an, he’s, he’s done so much, he curses. He cults, he does it all.
He gets married.
Mano
[00:37:44] He does it all. You know, this next one. Oh, boy. We’re excited because
it’s Mike Myers, the Love Guru going up against Leatherface. The Chainsaw Massacrist.
Betsy
[00:38:00] Whoa. Mike Myers Welp.
Mano
[00:38:01] Scarier. Mike Myers is scarier for sur
e.
Betsy
[00:38:04] I mean, when he’s in some of the like on his Netflix show, when he’s in
some of that makeup, you’re like, that’s pretty close to the Leatherface.
Mano
[00:38:13] Oh, it’s so close to Leatherface. And he loves to play the characters
that
make you go, oh, oh, God.
Betsy
[00:38:18] Yeah. Oh God no.
Mano
[00:38:20] Oh, Jesus. I mean, Goldmember. Horrifying. Goldmember. Oh, my God.
Betsy
[00:38:25] He eats his own skin.
Mano
[00:38:25] So scary. So scary.
Betsy
[00:38:27] Hey. T
hat’s kind of like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Mano
[00:38:31] Very Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Betsy
[00:38:32] Goldmember. Shit. They might be the same person.
Mano
[00:38:35] Leatherface. This is interesting. They might be. They might be from the
same f
amily. And we’re just never. We’re not. We’re not, we don’t get to see it in the
extended cut of the film.
Betsy
[00:38:43] Right.
Mano
[00:38:44] Okay. Okay.
Betsy
[00:38:45] So, and Leatherface is straight up a maniacal, murderer.
Mano
[00:38:51] Horrible. Crazy family.
Betsy
[00:38:52] Running around with the chainsaw.
Mano
[00:38:55] Bad family.
Betsy
[00:38:55] Wearing an apron made of skin.
Mano
[00:38:57] Bad family, bad house too frankly, they don’t, they don’t clean that h
ouse.
Betsy
[00:39:02] Ew, no they don’t. The house is awful.
Mano
[00:39:05] Awful. Awful, awful.
Betsy
[00:39:06] But awful scary, which is nice.
Mano
[00:39:08] Awful scary, and you might run into Renee Zellweger, which is nice.
That’s fun. That’
s fun. Might run into Renee.
Betsy
[00:39:12] Oh, yeah. And a couple of, and a couple of movies you’ll probably
–
.
Mano
[00:39:15] Maybe McConaughey even.
Betsy
[00:39:17] Renee Zellweger and McConaughey. I will say Leatherface does try to,
like dress
to the occasion, you know.
Mano
[00:39:25] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:39:26] Some, tie. A necktie, you know, kind of being like, Hey, I could do this.
Mano
[00:39:32] Who’s more exhausting? Like fielding all the character jokes from Mike
Myers. Or running, running, running, running away from Leatherface.
Betsy
[00:39:40] Oh, boy.
Mano
[00:39:42] Both.
Betsy
[00:39:42] Both. Very exhausting.
Mano
[00:39:44] Very
tiring.
Betsy
[00:39:44] One more physical, one, god, emotional and mental. Shit.
Mano
[00:39:54] I’m torn.
Betsy
[00:39:54] I am too. I’m really torn.
Mano
[00:39:59] I don’t know. I think, you know, one is better at disguises, and that’s
pretty scary to me.
Betsy
[00:40:06] Right?
Mano
[00:40:07] Right. One has
–
.
Betsy
[00:40:08] That’s pretty horrifying. Okay, I know mine.
Mano
[00:40:12] Me too. Okay. One, tw
o, three. Mike Myers.
Betsy
[00:40:18] Mike Myers.
Clip
[00:40:19] Yeah, baby, yeah.
Betsy
[00:40:21] Not Michael Myers.
Mano
[00:40:23] Not Michael Myers. We don’t know who that is.
Betsy
[00:40:25] We don’t know who that is.
Mano
[00:40:25] But Mike Myers. Now, that is a scary.
Betsy
[00:40:29] That is too scary.
Mano
[00:40:32] He married an ax murderer. What’s scarier than that?
Betsy
[00:40:34] That’s fucked up bad. You’re fucked up.
Mano
[00:40:36] And he knew he was like they wer
e telling him they were like, I don’t
know, man.
Betsy
[00:40:40] And he was like, I don’t care.
Mano
[00:40:43] Yeah. And he was like, I’m groovy, baby. Wow.
Betsy
[00:40:47] Wow. What a great first round of our Scary Horny Bowl.
Mano
[00:40:50] S
orry, you can’t find out what’s coming next unless you tune in next week
when we cover the East bracket of this Horror Scary Horny Bowl. And whittle it down
slowly but surely to the number one top scariest scary person in all of Horrordome.
Betsy
[00:41:
07] Who’s it gonna be? Listen to find out. Wow. Thanks for listening to 2
Spooky 2 Handle.
Mano
[00:41:21] Yeah! We’re your hosts Mano Agapion and Betsy Sodaro.
Betsy
[00:41:29] That’s right! 2 Spooky 2 Handle is in Earwolf production produced by
Anita Flores and Cassi Jerkins. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer and the theme song by
Cassi Jerkins.
Mano
[00:41:40] Woo and a spooky special thanks to John Gabrus.
Betsy
[00:41:46] Oscar Montoya.
Mano
[00:41:48] Lamar Woods.
Betsy
[00:41:50] Lauren Lapkus. They all contributed to our Where Are They Now
segment and we love them all.
Mano
[00:41:59] Remember follow and subscribe to Earwolf Presents to hear new shows
by your favorite comedians.