What Do You Say to Your Dog?

What do you say to your dog that you wish someone would say to you? I bet it isn’t as funny as Andy Richter’s answer! How would you serenade a porn star? I bet it isn’t as melodious as Sarah Silverman’s song! What would you ask Elvis Costello if you could ask him anything? I bet it isn’t as hard-hitting as Scott Aukerman’s questions!