Hey there, you awesome person you! Congratulations: you’ve survived several months of a Donald Trump presidency. And double congratulations: you’re pushing through this dark period despite having to experience it with a human brain. Our brains feel stress about everything from large predatory animals to low smartphone battery levels. Which begs the question: isn’t it worth wondering how those fragile organs are handling American history’s Dumbest Timeline?

On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt brings in Cracked POTUS-trackers Cody Johnston and Sean “Seanbaby” Reiley to discover the scale of President Trump’s towering horses**t, and the psychological ramifications of facing it day to day. They’ll shine a light on the most staggering, pointless lies ever told by the Commander in Chief. They’ll use the latest psychological studies to examine how constant chief executive lies can scramble our brains. And they’ll wrap up with ways you can be more mentally resilient than ever, both now and through the “The Rock” Johnson Administration.

Footnotes: https://goo.gl/E2i1bm

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CRACKED) and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/CRACKED).

A Forest Nymph stops by to help spread the word on Nymph Awareness Month. Also… special note for Rusty: stop listening at about 38 minutes in. 

Credits:

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Gary, the Forest Nymph: Nnamdi Ngwe
Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: TAVERN) and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/MAGIC).

Nick Kroll and Jason Mantzoukas aka Jeffrey Characterwheaties join Scott once again on this week’s Comedy Bang! Bang! They talk about the new Netflix series Big Mouth, Jason’s recent dentist visit & one man show “Chair to Chair,” and how Nick’s father would always listen to a voicemail from a food doctor. Plus, Scott’s ex-stepfather Bob Ducca returns to describe his body, his social media diseases, and list of medications he’s on.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: BANGBANG), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/CBB), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BANGBANG)

Paul F. Tompkins welcomes ladies, gentleman, and cats walking across any keyboards to this week’s Spontaneanation! This time out, Paul’s special return guest is singer-songwriter Aimee Mann! They chat about how many times Aimee googled herself this week, baby bangs, and phone etiquette at restaurants. Then, they are joined by improvisers Jordan Black, Hal Lublin, and Gary Anthony Williams, to improvise a story set at Splash Mountain at Disneyland. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

This episode is brought to you by Leesa.com (www.leesa.com/PFT).

Film critic and co-host of the podcast Cancelled Too Soon Witney Seibold joins Amy to kick off Horror Movie Month with William Castle’s 1959 film “The Tingler.” They talk about Castle’s use of the “Percepto!” gimmick, the interactivity and creativity of the film’s scares, and why it was made for film lovers especially. Plus, they discuss the role LSD plays in the movie. Does “The Tingler” belong in The Canon? Head to the Earwolf forums now to cast your vote!

This episode is sponsored by Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/canon code: CANON).

Find Full Archive of Raised by TV on Stitcher Premium

Brendan Monaghan, CEO of Panoply Media, joins Chris and Lex on the Wolf Den. The three discuss how journey from working at the digital arm of the Washington Post to podcasting at Panoply. Brendan also explains Panoply’s Megaphone Targeted Marketplace and talks about the future of podcast content and listener metrics.

This episode is brought to you by Thursday Boot Company (www.thursdayboots.com code: FREESHIP2DAY).

Welcome to Republic of Gilead Radio! Commander Matt (Matt Besser) opens up his office to a Handmaid by the name of Offjack for a comedy show in which she can earn moments to speak freely about her past before the Civil War and to play a few games such as “Who can make the more realistic labor pains?”. Plus, guest Handmaid Traci Reardon stops by to answer questions about Handmaids in another edition of “Help Me, Rhonda.”

This episode is brought to you by Texture (www.texture.com/LAPKUS), Second City Training Center (www.secondcity.com/TC), and Modcloth (www.modcloth.com code: LAPKUS).

Hannibal Buress joins Paul, June, and Jason to discuss the 1985 martial arts film The Last Dragon. Recorded live from Colossal Clusterfest in San Francisco, they talk about everything including how insecure Sho’nuff is, the glow, and Eddie Arkadian.

This episode is brought to you by Rudy’s Barbershop (www.rudysbarbershop.com code: BONKERS), Audible (www.audible.com/BONKERS), and Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO.

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/user/howdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. Paul can be seen on Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later, Opening Night, and Veep. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

Jason can be seen in The House, The Lego Batman Movie, How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

Tony-Award nominee and current King George III in Hamilton, Rory O’Malley joins the guys this week to dive deep into his Catholic school upbringing, surviving a long (long) distance relationship, and having Matt Bomer as a classmate. Plus, the guys chat Real World, Gaga, and answer a very interesting listener text question.

This episode is sponsored by Thursday Boot Company (www.thursdayboots.com code: FREESHIP2DAY) and Audible (www.audible.com/HOMO).

It’s Fake the Nation abroad! Comedian Beth McGregor welcomes Negin into her London home to discuss Puerto Rico’s hurricane disaster, Trump’s latest travel ban, and the revelation that several of Trump’s advisers emailed about White House matters from their private email accounts.

This episode is brought to you by Modcloth (www.modcloth.com code: FAKE) and Ellevest (www.ellevest.com/FAKE).

Bitch Sesh is back!!!!! And we talk everything we missed with special guest co-host Jessica Chaffin. From Mark Dueber vs Zuri Dueber to Shannon vs a spin bike to Kardashian baby vs Kardashian baby vs  another Kardashian baby, we cover it all. 

Also we mourn the loss of another Real Housewives Marriage (Mike and Kelly) and celebrate the beginning of another fake Real housewives marriage  (Kenya and whatever his name is). Too much garbage to fit in one episode, but God we try!!

This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: REALHOUSEWIVES30) and Rent the Runway (www.renttherunway.com/unlimited code: HOUSEWIVES).

Actress Shannon Woodward joins Sarah and Susan to talk about the end of My Girl 2, The Wear Sunscreen speech from the Chicago Tribune that Baz Luhrmann turned into a song, and Ryan Adams’ “Dear Chicago.”

This episode is brought to you by Adoshi (www.adoshi.com/crybabies), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/CRYBABIES), and Stitch Fix (www.stitchfix.com/CRYBABIES).

Kathryn Bigelow month continues on Cracked Movie Club! In 1995, Bigelow released Strange Days, her vision of a near future in which people can record their everyday lives, and buying and selling those recordings has become the most popular form of entertainment. Meanwhile, civil unrest reaches a fever pitch after one of those recordings captures the murder of a prominent black entertainer at the hands of the LAPD. In other words, Bigelow’s predictions were absolutely correct.

On this week’s episode, Tom and Abe are joined by Caitlin Gill as they discuss the technical wizardry required to create Bigelow’s visionary sci-fi film, the intense themes woven into the story, and how many times Ralph Fiennes mentions his ridiculous necktie.

This episode is brought to you by Audible (www.audible.com/MOVIECLUB) and Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: MOVIECLUB30).

Marching in with Rich Sommer.

This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/PARDO), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/NEVER), and Felipe Esparza: Translate This on HBO.

This week, Bryan brings a story about a long-lost Flemish portrait of the “handsomest bodied” English courtier and Erin recounts the recent protests sweeping not just the NFL but also the WNBA. Later, guests Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard join to discuss the origin of their camaraderie, the first female Globetrotter, and the duality of comedy and politics.

This episode is sponsored by Audible (www.audible.com/SHADE) and NatureBox (www.naturebox.com/SHADE).

Season 2 is almost over! This week Kamau and Hari are joined by Damon Young (Co-founder of VerySmartBrothas.theroot.com) and David Litt (author of “Thanks, Obama: My Hopey, Changey White House Years”) to discuss the power of the pen. Young explains Pittsburg culture and headline structure. Litt lets us in on the challenges and triumphs of writing for President Barack Hussein Obama. If you’ve enjoyed the podcast, call in and tell us what YOU’VE learned this season by dialing 646-389-3721. Your voice may appear in next week’s finale episode.

Follow our guests!

Damon Young (@VerySmartBros)

David Litt (https://www.thanksobamabook.com)

Resource:

www.mariafund.org

Send us your comments using the #politicallyreactive. Thanks! Check out Hari’s tour dates and albums at Harikondabolu.com and for all Kamau’s projects check out wkamaubell.com.

This episode is sponsored by The Jim Jefferies Show Podcast.

Tim Meadows, Dan Lippert, and Don Fanelli join Matt Besser for this week’s improv4humans! They improvise scenes about shoe-based instruments, a student with a highly unusual name, and the truth about the iPhone 9. Later, the finalists in the intern contest show off their promotional work, leading to scenes about John Williams’ one-man show and celebrity masks for your dog.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: IMPROV) and Audible (www.audible.com/IMPROV).

The Shrimps take on the Miss Demeanors at Pan Pacific park. Matt and Mark call the action.

The Shrimps on Twitter: @pistolshrimpsbb
The Shrimps on Instagram: @thepistolshrimps
Pistol Shrimps Radio on Twitter: @shrimpsradio
Pistol Shrimps Radio on Instagram: @pistolshrimpsradio

Matt Gourley on Twitter and IG: @mattgourley
Mark McConville on Twitter and IG: @markmcconville

It’s not exactly easy to be a transgender person in 2017. But at least now everyone knows what the word transgender means. Back in the 60s, 70s and 80s, the word ‘transgender’ and the concept of trans rights didn’t really exist. Today on Cracked Gets Personal, Brandon Johnson and Robert Evans talk to three women who transitioned during this time, which has been nicknamed the ‘trans dark ages’. They survived physical assaults, paparazzi shaming, black market hormone buys and so much more. Now they’re telling their stories.

Comedian and director Sara June joins Andrew to discuss meeting her cousin who sells Nazi memorabilia, more football players taking a knee during the National Anthem after Trump attacks the NFL, devastation in Puerto Rico, and much more. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: YO30).

Actress and improviser Janet Varney joins Matt to discuss her role as Party Girl in the 2004 superhero film Catwoman. Janet tells us whether shooting party scenes are as bad as being at a party with people you don’t know, crying on the drive home at 5am, and running into someone from her childhood on set. Plus, we hear how Janet had to pretend to be invisible for a pre-read for the role of Invisible Woman in Fantastic Four.

This episode is brought to you by Audible (www.audible.com/WASTHERE) and Mindshow (www.mindshow.com).

32 year-old White House policy adviser Stephen Miller (Zac Oyama) opens up to Mark & Pete about growing up on the mean streets of Santa Monica, littering to make a point, and stabbing Cesar Milan. Plus: Is Stephen more like Tommy Bahama or Tom Bombadil?

Actor/comedian Paul Rust returns for this week’s Who Charted! He gives the scoop on his band Don’t Stop or We’ll Die’s new album while they count down Billboard’s Top 5 Streaming Songs. Later, Paul reflects on how his kids will interpret his music during the TV Chart, and the gang counts down Kevin’s Hot Picks during Two Charted.

This episode is sponsored by the Second City Training Center (www.secondcity.com/tc), Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: CHARTED30), and Audible (www.audible.com/CHARTED).

Tomorrow Never Dies again! Will Matt finally agree with Matt or will Matt convince Matt that Matt is right? Cracked’s Alex Schmidt drops by to help us settle the debate.

Kevin chats with filmmakers Bobby and Mikey Roe, whose new film “The Houses October Built 2” just opened across the land. It’s a “found footage,” “haunted house mockumentary.” Kevin won’t shut up about his LOVE of their first one.

Today’s caller is a dad with two sons who just dropped his 5 year old off for his first day of Kindergarten and he and his wife have their first couples therapy appointment that afternoon. The caller says that recent professional changes, growing confidence and a desire to get more out of life are driving him and wife apart but Gethard notices him expressing strong feelings toward a female coworker.

This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: STORIES30).

Writer Demi Adejuyigbe (The Good Place, @midnight) joins Jensen and guest co-host Ali Segel to talk about doing the podcast Gilmore Guys, Apathy & O.C.’s “Perestroika” album, Detroiters, how we were late on Insecure, and many more things you should know about.

This episode is brought to you by Audible (www.audible.com/KARP) and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/GETUPONTHIS).

Literal babbling brooks, navigational-related drama, too many siblings, talking woodland creatures and SO much more are all in this very special live edition of OFF BOOK from the Now Hear This: Podcast Festival. Starring Griffin Newman (The Tick, Blank Check Podcast) and Michael Cruz Kayne (ASSSSCAT, Baby Wants Candy) with Dan Reitz on piano!

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: OFFBOOK), Spice Islands (www.spiceislands.com/offbook), Audible (www.audible.com/OFFBOOK), Leesa (www.leesa.com/offbook), and Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: OFFBOOK30).

Sean and Hayes are joined by JESSICA CHAFFIN to shoot a pilot.

This episode is sponsored by the Second City Training Center (www.secondcity.com/tc), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/THEBOYS) and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/HANDBOOK).