Private: Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

September 26, 2022

Elephants are overrated. At least that’s what this former zookeeper thinks. A park interpreter opens up to Geth about her experience working at the zoo including the struggle to earn a decent wage. She describes her love of working with hippos and the dangers of “scary smart monkeys.” She discusses her frustration with people in her state being allowed to own exotic animals and her issues with “Tiger King.” She also shares her thoughts about keeping animals in captivity and details about her current position helping people connect to nature.

September 19, 2022

A hairstylist from Canada explains how she went from powerlifting to pole dancing recreationally. She introduces the live audience in Portland to one of her three birds. Will he squawk his signature line, “did you poopie?” You’ll have to wait and see! She also shares with Geth the story of being proposed to by her high school sweetheart in a hotel bathroom. Later on, they debate if she has a Canadian accent and discuss their scariest bird moments.

September 12, 2022

Getting arrested on New Year’s Eve was a blessing in disguise. A woman describes how working as a pharmacy tech led to pill addiction. She opens up to Geth about starting detox in prison and healing her relationship with her son. She also shares what it’s like welding “space crap” with lasers and what she’s learned in recovery about empathy.

September 5, 2022

Everyone lied to her about what it’s like to plan a wedding. A bride-to-be opens up about stress, making tough decisions, and wedding crashers leading up to the big day. She and Geth bond over how great it feels not to invite someone you don’t actually like. Later on, Chris and the audience help write her vows and pick out a wedding song.

August 29, 2022

He didn’t become the person he wanted, so he took it out on her. A young woman speaks with Geth about her abusive ex and the red flags she realized in retrospect. She opens up about how he used pity as a manipulation tactic, threatened “social blackmail,” controlled how she dressed, and ended the relationship while they were tripping on acid. She also describes the eventual fallout between their mutual friends and how much better her life is now. 

August 22, 2022

A gum covered dog, a bomb threatened hospital, and a tornado warning. A woman describes the cartoonish obstacles she had to overcome to visit her ailing father. She opens up to Geth about navigating family drama and the weirdness of getting emails about Father’s Day. Later on, the audience welcomes her to the “dead dad club” with no shortage of dark jokes.

August 15, 2022

The nature is good, but the isolation and no pizza delivery? Not so great.

August 8, 2022

She got ghosted by a guy with a pet rabbit named Bun Bun, but not before he gave her covid. A painter explains to Geth why she moved into an RV with a crystal-selling-hippie and how she confronted him at his mom’s house. She also discusses the time her dad talked her down during an acid trip, why she quit drugs during the pandemic, and how different her life is now.

August 1, 2022

Wrist surgery turned into something more serious and his dog lost a leg to cancer, but that won’t keep this caller down. Geth speaks with a 25-year-old about how growing up without a ton of money and selling homemade yarn balls to pay for summer camp shaped his positive outlook on life. He shares stories about delivering Peloton bikes to billionaires, working in real estate, and growing up in a religious household. He also opens up about getting married young and proudly describes his wife as “badass” for becoming a commercial pilot.

July 25, 2022

A 24-year-old woman keeps getting hit on by couples, but she’s never had a threesome. Geth and a live audience help her decide if she should go on a throuple date for the free food. She also opens up about moving from a small island to NYC to escape the fighting between her mom and grandma. She wonders if her dysfunctional family is the reason she attracts engaged women, married men who claim to be in the secret service, and other “crazy people.”

July 18, 2022

A queer journalist opens up to Geth about the pressure to be active on social media and feeling traumatized covering the news. They discuss the complicated relationship between comedy and journalism and what happened when he got called out in someone’s special. He also talks through his frustrations with clickbait headlines and famous comedians making jokes about trans people.

July 11, 2022

Live from Sirius XM studios in New York, it’s Beautiful/Anonymous! A 31-year-old single Californian shares the pros and cons of traveling around Europe alone. She speaks with Geth about how she kept the trip a secret from her job and the perks of crying with a mask on at Euro Disney. She also discusses feeling guilty as the daughter of Indian immigrants for wanting to renounce her U.S. Citizenship after the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

July 4, 2022

A woman describes the surprising events that led to her heart attack. She opens up to Geth about the fact that her brother died last year of a heart attack at 42 under completely different circumstances. She also shares the letter she wrote to her husband detailing her final wishes, including that he not sprinkle her ashes on their garden and grow “death tomatoes.” Later on, she discusses planning a booze cruise funeral, the pros of not having kids, and feeling at peace with her life.

June 27, 2022

A married couple who recently became foster parents talk about what motivated them to foster and how it’s dramatically changed their lives.

They open up about how everyday is “emotional limbo” because they don’t know if the kids will return to their birth parents. They also share their love of D&D, revealing character names such as Trina Tinkleberry the gnome.

June 20, 2022

Chris speaks with a man about having an affair with a married woman he met at work and the aftermath of his decision. He opens up about getting divorced and losing friends. He also shares how his bipolar disorder affected the marriage and the importance of focusing on his mental health now.