This week’s Professor Blastoff is 100% organic, homegrown, and hormone free. We have noted vegan Myq Kaplan on to discuss the ever changing world of food and food production: From the evolution of the grocery store to the adverse affects of methane and so much more. Plus we introduce a new segment: Weekly Vocabulary Lesson! Listen while you eat something raw and traded freely.

Wait and see, when we’re through, boys will gladly go to war for you. With good fortune (and a great hairdo) you’ll bring honor to us all. That’s right, it’s time for the much-anticipated Mulan episode! Kidding, of course. We have our first write-in guest, Owen Wiseman, who brings a vast knowledge of the Japanese feudal system to the hatch and discusses the concept of honor with Tig, Kyle, and David. What’s the difference between morality and honor? Is it wrong to steal food for one’s family? Since when is condescension a bad thing? And which of our podcasters is the most honorable? Listen in and find out!

Oh, hello there! Please, sit down and make yourself comfortable. Would you like a glass of wine? Mmm, I thought you might. We’re dimming the lights in the hatch and talking about sexual attraction this week with the absolutely beautiful and hilarious Sarah Silverman. From pheromones to cologne, we discuss the science of seduction and the perfection of breasts. Enjoy it with a loved one, or at least a super attractive one.

We are joined by advice columnist Amy Alkon this week to discuss manners. That doesn’t mean holding-up-your-pinky type etiquette, but giving-an-appropriate-hug style niceness. Whether it’s a time thief on the phone, a chair hog on a plane, or a non-waver in traffic, you’ll learn how to set boundaries and live happier despite our evolutionary predispositions. Never have an awkward telemarketer situation again!

Scripture states: The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a group of comedians doing a podcast will lead them. I THINK I’m getting that right. This week we address Foreign Relations with comedian Tom Clark who tells us what it was like to volunteer in Mexico. From NAFTA to The Eagles, we cover it all. We even get a brief visit from Ronald Reagan! It’s like a massage for your ears, so listen in and don’t ask us if “That’s it?”

Today on Professor Blastoff we explore immortality. Like Ponce de Leon searching for the Fountain of Youth, Tig, David, and Kyle (via internet magic) search for microscopic nanorobots, rats growing ears, and The Singularity in an attempt to answer the all important question “Do you really want to live forever?” Put your game of Toilet Mack Truck Turbo 2 on pause and journey through time and space with Professor Blastoff and the gang.

You might call this episode verbose, perhaps even bombastic. You might find yourself wayward in the expanse of grammar and syntax. We’re talking about talking this week on Professor Blastoff and our guest is our old friend from the Evolution episode, Dr. Martin Cohen. Learn what distinguishes “meaningful utterances” and how language has evolved through the course of human history. Enjoy, dig in, relish, savor, and luxuriate in it!

Tig, Kyle, and David are all healthy adults, but why? Was it because they avoided fast food as kids, because they went around catching lizards in the desert, or was it something genetic? Our guest this week is Mo Hassanein, a PHD student who serves as our resident expert on childhood obesity. Learn about fat distribution, the difference between sucrose and fructose, and why it is important to keep kids healthy from a young age. And yes, there will be riddles. Enjoy!

We’re talking about robots this week and you know what that means! We get a visit from everyone’s favorite automaton character: Exhausted Fireman! Learn what the Professor Blastoff crew tried to invent when they were kids (or, in some cases, full-grown adults) and why the future of robotics is sex. Don’t forget to pick up Tig’s new album Good One, and follow us on Twitter for future live-tweetings.

If you downloaded this podcast, you either own or have access to a computer. But how does it work? Is your tower full of mythical creatures who make everything work, or does it have to do with quarks and other subatomic particles? Professor Blastoff’s resident researcher and computer expert Aaron Burrell joins the gang to discuss clouds and hard drives and F1 and everything else computer science entails. But don’t be too scared of all the binary talk and java-script, Kyle will lay out all the facts for you with yet another of his classic riddles.

If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Professor Blastoff! Tig, Kyle and David welcome Mike Wiebe from The Riverboat Gamblers to talk about g-g-g-ghosts and the otherwise occult. Ouija boards are discussed, as are UFOs, John Edward and hot dogs. Even seemingly sane people have seen and experienced ghosts so don’t be too scared to listen. Keep your ears open for the crying of ghost babies and the jingling of ghost cheeses.

There are many ways to experience this world around us. Whether haunted by nightmares or high off of unfiltered cigarettes, the altered state can be scary and confusing. Unless, of course, you are our guest Doug Benson who has cultivated a fruitful career all while under the fog of marijuana. Join us, sober or not, as we discuss the ingesting, enjoyment, and occasional riskiness of taking drugs. Join us on Facebook and leave an iTunes review (if you don’t get too distracted and hungry).

Nick Kroll is one of the most prolific Earwolf guests, so he was destined to show up on Professor Blastoff! That is, if destiny exists. Destiny or fate, or karma, or astrology, or free will. It’s all up for grabs this week, along with a pre-posthumous message from Tig and Nick’s new “Weird Gypsy” character. I would say to enjoy it, but perhaps your enjoyment has already been determined. Trippy, right?

You are either listening to Professor Blastoff, or entering a new dimension. We’re not sure which one it is. We are also unsure if it is the forth dimension, fifth dimension, or one of hundreds of multiverses you are entering. And we cannot guarantee that in this dimension your junk will retain the same size and shape that it does in the third dimension. Or if dementia is somehow related to the concept of dimensions. But that which we do know will be given to you in easy, memorable riddle form. So listen ahead, and don’t be afraid to look up once in a while.

How did the human race come about? It’s a hilarious riddle, we know, but it is also the topic of much debate. Whether you call it evolution, survival of the fittest, or natural selection we are here to talk about it with Dr. Martin Cohen from California State University Northridge. Hear the gang wax poetic over the important scientific conundrums of ugly people’s existence and the embarrassing nature of pooping. And just for good measure, we threw an Emo Philips joke in to keep the comedy alive.