They say the past is a foreign country. (Trust us, it’s a saying!) What they leave off in that aphorism is the fact that the foreign land of Past-zakhstan is a foreign country of constant pranks and goofs. From 1950s America to Renaissance Italy to the Norman conquest of England, our ancestors were all about changing the world AND yoink-ing each other every step of the way.

On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt is LIVE at UCB Sunset with comedians Caitlin Gill, Christine Medrano, and Blake Wexler. They’ll run down the all-time silliest nonsense of actual human history. And the audience joins in at the end with some historical pranks and goofs of their own, because our live shows are interactive and fun like that.

Footnotes: https://goo.gl/SKp2qk

Comedian Todd Glass joins Scott to talk about his new Netflix special Act Happy, the importance of audience cutaways, and understanding the man cave. Then, British prime minister Winston Churchill drops in to share his Oscar predictions. Plus, dental hygienist Becky stops by to talk about her favorite mouths and the best unexpected use for teeth.

This episode is sponsored by HowStuffWorks, Leesa, Harry’s, and The Black Tux.

Gilbert and Frank reach out to one of their favorite performers, actor Gino Conforti (“Three’s Company,” “Man of La Mancha”) who discusses the life of a “journeyman” actor and looks back on his working relationships with Lucille Ball, Sammy Davis Jr., Zero Mostel, Debbie Reynolds and Orson Welles. Also, Sophia Loren takes a spill, Jerome Robbins takes a powder, Jonathan Winters comes to dinner and Gilbert and Gino remember the late, great John Ritter. PLUS: “Bungle Abbey”! Uncle Carl Laemmle! In praise of Tom Hanks! Gino “befriends” Sally Field! And the Golden Helmet of Mambrino!

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: GILBERT) and Just For Men (www.hairregrowth.com code: Regrowth25).

Paul F. Tompkins lovingly welcomes all back to Spontaneanation! This time out, Paul’s special guest is LeVar Burton of LeVar Burton Reads, Reading Rainbow, Roots, and Star Trek: The Next Generation! LeVar chats about what he thinks of Lyft drivers, witnessing a couple having sex as he was scuba diving, and being caught in a series of rapids in South-Central Africa. Then, they are joined by improvisers Zeke Nicholson, Ronnie Adrian, and Laci Mosley, to improvise a story set in Schenectady, NY. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: PFT).

Larry Birdman, the commissioner of the Foon Mittens League, is back with good news about Hogsface’s bid to get a new Mittens team.

Credits:

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Larry Birdman: Rush Howell
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen
Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz      

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: TAVERN) and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/savings).

Suicide booths, what do you get a dude for Valentine’s Day, and more on this week’s minisode! Paul goes through Corrections and Omissions for Freejack, opens up the Mail Bag, and the Movie Bitches review Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Plus, important info on next week’s movie!

This episode is brought to you by SKYN condoms.

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/user/howdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

You can see Jason, June, and Paul in The Disaster Artist in theaters now.

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. Paul can be seen on A Futile and Stupid Gesture, Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later, Opening Night, and Veep. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

Jason can be seen in The Good Place, The House, The Lego Batman Movie, How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

The hilarious Jimmy Fowlie joins Dave and Matt this week to talk all about Vanderpump Rules, getting back together with exes, and Kathy Griffin. Plus, Dave gets excited about seeing Dua Lipa, Matt and Jimmy bond over bushes, and Jimmy talks about his La La Land one-woman show experience.

This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon (code: HOMO) and Tripping.com.

Stephanie Butnick (Unorthodox) and Sam Sanders (It’s Been a Minute) join Negin to discuss the dip in the stock market and ask: should we be worried? Plus, they chat about the government shutdown and Nancy Pelosi’s marathon speech in support of the Dreamers. Lastly, the panel weighs the pros and cons of Trump’s plans for a military parade.

This episode is sponsored by Showtime’s Our Cartoon President.

Bryan and Erin start off by telling us how they really feel about the Super Bowl before getting into their top stories of the week! Erin discusses the disturbing practice of inserting extra stitches to the vagina post-childbirth known as “stitches for daddy.” Then, Bryan focuses on Indiana Senate Bill 65 and how it makes it even more difficult for kids to get access to medically accurate sex education. Plus, actress Punam Patel joins in to talk about her Florida nativeness and the reality show Love After Lockup before she and Bryan embark on a world tour of accent practice.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (code: SHADE), MVMT Watches, TomboyX (code: SHADE) and HBO’s 2 Dope Queens.

John Gemberling, Gil Ozeri, and Curtis Gwinn join Matt Besser for a live improv4humans! They take a selection of Crap on YouTubes that inspire scenes about a disagreement over a clichéd joke, sharing a manhole fetish on the first date, and an intervention disguised as a Pokémon tournament. Plus, we hear the story of the first elf-reindeer hybrid and the inventors of YouTube share their very first captures.

This episode is sponsored by MVMT Watches and Beachbody On Demand (text IMPROV to 303030).

Eating your heart out with Phil Rosenthal.

This episode is brought to you by Milo Wifi (www.milowifi.com/pardo code: PARDO), Beach Body On Demand, Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/PARDO), and MVMT Watches (www.mvmt.com/NEVER).

Casey and Danielle are guestless in the nook. They cover Beverly Hills, Lisa V as devil/angel, Dorit’s bronzed bosom and why “3 is tough.” They process Stormi as well as Casey’s new attitude on PK and introduce a new show that will blow hearts and minds

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/HOUSEWIVES), 2 Dope Queens on HBO, Quip Toothbrush (www.getquip.com/HOUSEWIVES), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: HOUSEWIVES).

Actor and producer Brian Yang (Hawaii Five-0) joins Andrew to discuss the racism black people experience in China, roles he’s felt uncomfortable in, why cultural appropriation is a one-way street, and much more. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Actor, writer, and improviser Ben Schwartz returns to Who Charted this week to discuss everything from friendship lists to war stories! Ben gives the scoop on his role alongside Billy Crystal in the new film “We Are Unsatisfied” while helping Howard and Kulap count down Billboard’s Top 5 Songs from 1981. Then, Ben shares intel on his new wine-focused podcast during the Movie Chart. Later, a listener call prompts Howard to prove that summah is better than winter with a single song and Engineer Sam shows off his meaningful new tattoo on Two Charted.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (code: CHARTED) and SeatGeek (code: CHARTED).

Actor Alec Baldwin (Lee Rubenstein) leans into five or six different controversies on today’s Hard Nation. He talks satire in the age of Trump, what the “AB” stands for in “ABFoundation,” and why America won the hunt for Red October. Plus: Mark shouldn’t have invested in Bitcoin. Dilly dilly!

Comedians Julio Torres (SNL) and Ziwe Fumudoh (The Rundown with Robin Thede) join Jo & Manolo to play listener-created games with callers. 

Games played: The Store of the Rising Sun, Catchphrase!, and Museum of Me

This is brought to you by RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/gameshow code: GAMESHOW).

The girls welcome actor Thomas Barbusca (The Mick) on to talk about how he gets the hue in his hair, Kanye fandom, and his favorite roles he’s landed. Plus, Thomas makes the case for socks over sneakers as an expression of style and explains why he owns Bitcoin but doesn’t trust it before sharing his youthful insights during a game of Over It or Into It.

The Boys try to be helpful to Nick but he doesn’t wanna listen.

This episode is sponsored by Wargaming (www.commandwarships.com code: HOLLYWOOD18) and Casper Mattresses (code: HANDBOOK).

New-ish student and the only junior with a full beard Ashton Whispers joins Marissa and Listler this week to share his moving original poetry. Ashton aka the King of Mystery talks about living on a military base in San Pedro, having a famous porn star for a mom, and how he came to own a pet crow. Plus, Ashton uses his poems to help listeners with butt-slapping anxiety and more during Listler’s Love Lockdown.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (code: WOMP).

Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor’s note to party.

This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and RXBAR (www.RXBAR.com/stories code: STORIES).

Jensen and Matty do a special Host Only episode to talk about a special cameo in the film Peter Rabbit, Rich Brian, Monster Hunter: World, how we were late on Paddington, and many more things you should know about.

Musical improv veteran Eliza Skinner joins Zach and Jess this week for a new meet-cute musical with all the ups and downs of true love, plus a girl named Melissabeth. With songs like “Let’s Be Sister Wives”, “(Gotta Have) An App That’s Passed”, and “A House & A Man”, you won’t feel complicated about loving these tunes. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: OFFBOOK) and Leesa (www.leesa.com/OFFBOOK).

Tony Hale returns to the Chat Show with kindness, hilarity, and ZERO dark secrets…

Oscar and Emmy-nominated actress Barbara Barrie (“Barney Miller,” “Breaking Away”) sits down with Gilbert and Frank for a look back at her early days in live television and shares her recollections of working with everyone from Tony Randall and Jack Klugman to James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor. Also, Jack Weston gets fresh, Madeline Kahn toughs it out, Richard Mulligan saves the day and Barbara and Art Carney bomb in Chicago. PLUS: “Shock Corridor”! The original Alice Kramden! The comic genius of Danny Arnold! Robert Duvall enters “The Twilight Zone”! And Gilbert (once again) roasts the late, great Abe Vigoda!

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/GILBERT) and SeatGeek (Download SeatGeek app and enter promo code: GILBERT).

Film critic Russ Fischer joins Amy to kick off Oscar Movie Month with a musical showdown from 1965. First, Amy and Russ talk Best Picture winner “My Fair Lady,” noting Audrey Hepburn’s physical expressiveness, director George Cukor’s use of freeze, and standout songs. Then, they break down “Mary Poppins,” touching on its technical achievement, its depiction of the suffragette movement, and the exuberance Julie Andrews brought to the titular role. Should “My Fair Lady” or “Mary Poppins” enter The Canon? Cast your vote on the Earwolf forums now!

This episode is sponsored by MUBI.

We’ve formed a council to help run Hogsface, and invited Momo the mouse with human strength, Jak Vorpal and the Singing Sword.

Credits:

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Jak Vorpal: Sean Kelly
Singing Sword: Erica Elam
Momo the Mouse: Erin Keif
Tomblain Belaroth: Steve Waltien
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen
Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Chris Rathjen
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Monty Python once taught us the following neuroscience: “The human brain is like an enormous fish. It is flat, and slimy, and has gills through which it can see.” That obvious bullshit is obvious bullshit. It’s also not much sillier than our own daily treatment of our brains. We know the human brain needs calm, care, and interaction with other humans. So why don’t we give that to our gilled head-fish?

On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt sits down with Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) to rediscover brains and the humans carrying them around. They’ll get into why this is the era of bombarding our minds with Snapchats, sleeplessness, and incomplete friendships. They’ll explore the fundamental feedback loops that make us seek out bad habits. And they’ll pick out how you can be aware of your own mental health needs, even if our wider culture wants to trick you into forgetting all about them.

Footnotes: https://goo.gl/nmGrMf

Professional podcast guest Whitney Cummings joins Scott to chat about pranking Chris Klein during her time on Punk’d, nervously lying to John Goodman on the set of the new Roseanne, and her new film The Female Brain. Then, professional luger Barry Big stops by to cleanse his mind before competing in the Winter Olympics in order to wear the gold medal at the grocery store. Plus, professional chef Danny Trejo Jr. drops by to not talk about his dad and instead talk about some of the appetizers he has brought to the studio from his garage.

This episode is brought to you by Fred Armisen: Standup for Drummers, Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: BANGBANG), Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/bangbang), RXBAR (www.RXBAR.com/bangbang), Audible (www.audible.com/Stinker).