Sean and Hayes say hello to KATE BERLANT and JOHN EARLY and talk to them about being duos and the business of Hollywood.

This episode is sponsored by Simple Contacts (code: THEBOYS) and Harry’s.

Growing up: it used to be as easy as drinking your milk, preparing to work 1 job for 40 years, and not misusing the height of telecommunications (a landline phone). Now that all of that has changed (side note: turns out milk isn’t all that good for you), what should we be teaching the new generation of kids about life on Earth? Also, hold on, we’ve all seen the Internet. Maybe the adult generation is the one that actually needs the advice.

On this week’s podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Kristi Harrison (Cracked) and Andrew Ti (“Yo Is This Racist”) to explore every lesson that ought to join the pantheon of Things We Tell Kids About Life. Find out why you might not be apologizing very well, why your retirement plan might be a mirage from the 80s, and most astonishingly, why Kim Kardashian and Guy Fieri are f***ing awesome.

Footnotes: https://goo.gl/naZgWK

Gilbert and Frank are joined by veteran comedy writer and producer Ed. Weinberger, who looks back on six decades’ worth of career highlights, including touring Vietnam with Bob Hope, penning jokes for Johnny Carson, firing Tony Clifton (but not Andy Kaufman) and befriending the late, great Dick Gregory. Also, Dino hits the sauce, Vaughn Meader hits the skids, George C. Scott hits the roof and Ed. remembers the infamous Harry Crane. PLUS: When Orangutans Attack! “Ted Baxter’s Famous Broadcasters’ School”! Ol’ Blue Eyes places a bet! Gilbert makes like Lenny Bruce! And Ed. auditions to play…himself?

This episode is brought to you by SockFancy (www.sockfancy.com/gilbert) and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/GILBERT).

Never Not Funny’s own Jimmy Pardo joins Scott to talk about his new podcast Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo, Houdini, and performing Grease. Then, best friends Jake and David stop by talk about their friendship and being bullied in school. Later, Hollywood Toys and Costume employees Lou and Carl arrive to give Scott the best podcast hosting costume. Plus, everyone plays Charades By Proxy!

This episode is brought to you by Happy! on Syfy, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BANGBANG), Leesa.com (www.leesa.com/BANGBANG), and Mozilla Firefox (www.mozilla.org).

This large treasure chest has just been sitting near our table for years. Let’s open it.

Credits:

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Chest Trünkborn: Travis McElroy
Assorted Other Characters: Paul Sabourin
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen
Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Paul F. Tompkins welcomes all back to Spontaneanation! This time out, Paul’s special guests are Beth Newell and Sarah Pappalardo, editors and co-founders of Reductress! Beth and Sarah chat about whether or not they’ve ever stolen anything, being propositioned by an older man while bagging groceries as a teenager, and the one time babysitting for a mother who got accusatory when she asked how they knew her child was constipated. Then, they are joined by improvisers Ryan Gaul, Amanda Lund, and Jordan Black, to improvise a story set in The Belly of a Whale. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

San Francisco: Spontaneanation will be LIVE at the Marines Memorial Theatre on Friday, January 12th at 10pm as part of San Francisco SketchFest! For tickets go to www.paulftompkins.com/live

NPR film critic Chris Klimek joins Amy this week to pit two 1940 Cary Grant screwball classics against one another: “His Girl Friday” vs. “The Philadelphia Story.” They discuss the underlying cynicism of “His Girl Friday” and why it isn’t a true romance upon deeper inspection. Then they break down the themes of class and wealth in “The Philadelphia Story” as well as the way Katherine Hepburn plays with the audience perception of actress as goddess followed by an assessment of the portrayal of writers in both films. Should “His Girl Friday” or “The Philadelphia Story” enter The Canon? Cast your vote on the Earwolf forums now!

This episode is sponsored by MUBI and Casper Mattresses (code: CANON).

From the first actor ever CGI’d to whether The Jazz Singer actually being good is covered on this week’s minisode! Paul goes through Corrections and Omissions for The Jazz Singer, Blake J. Harris chats with The Jazz Singer producer Jerry Leider about the movie, and the Movie Bitches review Mother. Plus, you’ll find out which movie we will be covering next!

This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com code: MADE10).

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/user/howdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. Paul can be seen on Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later, Opening Night, and Veep. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

Jason can be seen in The Good Place, The House, The Lego Batman Movie, How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

Welcome to the first episode of Where’s Don? with your hosts Carol Henderson and Junies Beaties (Katie O’Brien, Katy Colloton)! Don has been missing for 9 years and law enforcement has done nothing so now we will try to figure out what happened to Don with the help of special guest and neighbor Sheila. Plus, Traci Reardon drops by to share clues on Don’s whereabouts from her Twitter followers in another edition of “Help Me, Rhonda.”

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/LAPKUS), Modcloth (www.modcloth.com code: LAPKUS15), Tree Hut Watches (www.treehutwatches.com/lapkus), and Michelle Wolf: Nice Lady on HBO.

Comedian Solomon Georgio (Homonégro Superior) sits in with Matt & Dave this week to gush about Karen from Finance, Taylor & Kesha’s new albums, and the incomparable Grace Jones. Solomon also goes deep about his first relationship, growing up as 1 of 7 kids, and being non-confrontational.

This episode is sponsored by Joule: Sous Vide by ChefSteps (code: HOMOPHILIA), Sock Fancy (code: HOMO), and Dollar Shave Club.

Comedians Judy Gold (Kill Me Now) and Seena Ghaznavi (Sirius XM) join Negin to hash out who wins and who loses in the GOP tax plan. Just hours ahead of the Matt Lauer and Garrison Keillor news, the panel also digs into how recent sexual misconduct scandals in politics are playing out. Plus, they take a closer look at Jared Kushner and the changing power dynamics in the White House.

This episode is brought to you by Mash-Up Americans (www.mashupamericans.com/listen), Tamara Mellon (www.tamaramellon.com/FAKE), Away (www.awaytravel.com/fake code: FAKE), and Ellevest (www.ellevest.com/FAKE).

Casey’s back from the void! And the girls are back where they belong, in the nook and much like Oprah have a list of Favorite Things to share. They are joined by two amazing guests, Paul James (The Path, Greek) talks Jersey, Atlanta and neck tattoos and Kate Spencer (author, The Dead Moms Club) talks Orange County, finding yourself ON Vanderpump Rules and her new book! 

This episode is brought to you by SockFancy (www.sockfancy.com/housewives), Ifit (www.ifitnourish.com/bitchsesh), Quip Toothbrush (www.getquip.com/HOUSEWIVES), MVMT Watches (www.mvmt.com/HOUSEWIVES), and Rent the Runway (www.renttherunway.com/unlimited code: HOUSEWIVES).

John Hughes month concludes on Cracked Movie Club! By 1989, John Hughes was closing out a decade of wild success with teen comedies and had been steadily branching out into more adult-oriented fare, most of which starred John Candy. Hughes kept that train rolling with Uncle Buck, starring Candy as the titular uncle who has to care for his brother’s kids after a family tragedy. Out of the surprisingly few films of which Candy was the star, Uncle Buck was the most successful, and its production inspired John Hughes to create Home Alone, which isn’t bad for a movie most of you probably haven’t seen.

On this week’s episode, Tom is joined by Cracked’s David Bell and The Bechdel Cast’s Jamie Loftus as they discuss how the movie was almost not filmed in Hughes’ home state of Illinois, whether or not Uncle Buck is in the mob, and why every teen in Winnetka is goth.

Putting your pants on one leg at a time with Tig Notaro.

This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/NEVER), Harry’s (www.harrys.com/PARDO, and Away (www.awaytravel.com/pardo).

Sarah Claspell, Kimia Behpoornia, Devin Field, Travis Coles, Jake Sprague, and Kristen Studard join Matt Besser for a special i7h Movie Form episode! First, we visit a nail-focused survivors collective, parents that don’t want their child to know it’s the zombie apocalypse, and a roadster who can’t get to his heat unless he performs social pleasantries in “Not Without My Gun.” Then, it’s the gritty crime drama “Love After Death,” in which a grieving widower on the hunt for the truth, a single mom sheriff in the midst of a custody battle, and a serial killer with a Nixon fixation cross paths with explosive results.

This episode is sponsored by HBO’s Michelle Wolf: Nice Lady.

This week, Erin talks about the findings of long-overdue studies on the shared behaviors of sexual predators and why it’s so important to focus on their commonalities instead of those of the victims. Then Bryan brings a story about Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon’s apology for laws that criminalized homosexual behavior in the past, and performer and advocate Calpernia Addams discusses her mixed feelings about being portrayed by Jared Leto, how she went from growing up in a fundamentalist Christian cult to the military, and the worst abuses committed under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell before capping it all off with a game of Shade, No Shade.

This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club, EverlyWell (code: SHADE), and Sun Basket.

The Shrimps take on the Chicago Bulls at Lake Street Gym. Mark and Matt call the action.

The Shrimps on Twitter: @pistolshrimpsbb
The Shrimps on Instagram: @thepistolshrimps

Pistol Shrimps Radio on Twitter: @shrimpsradio
Pistol Shrimps Radio on Instagram: @pistolshrimpsradio

Comedians Sasheer Zamata and Matteo Lane join Jo and Manolo to play listener-submitted games with callers. 

Games played: That’s A Wrap, Dr. Gym Shoe, and High School Musical Reunion.

Today’s Raised By TV is brought to you by…commercials! Jon & Lauren realize that Creepy Crawlers is just an EZ-Bake Oven for bugs, recoil at the sexual innuendo of Mr. Bucket, and hated getting zit stickers when they played Girl Talk. Plus: Crocodile Dentist, Micro Machines, Fruit Stripe, Gushers, Crossfire, and a Very Special Episode with Mary Holland.

Tweet your favorite TV commercial memories to the show @RBTVPod!

This episode is brought to you by Modcloth (www.modcloth.com code: TV), Michelle Wolf: Nice Lady on HBO, and Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: TV).

Actors Will Choi and Keiko Agena of Asian AF join Andrew to discuss Trump’s Pocahontas joke, the representation of Asians in media, Marvel’s new editor-in-chief using “Akira Yoshida” as a pseudonym in the past, and much more. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Conservative provocateur James O’Keefe (Kale Hills) joins Hard Nation mere days after the Washington Post foiled his latest sting. He tells Mark and Pete why he sees Project Veritas as an immersive theater company, how he got into character as “Daddy Peppermint,” and his admiration for John Leguizamo. Plus: Pete almost does a character.

Work off that Thanksgiving turkey, Steve Agee returns for another landmark episode of Who Charted! He helps Howard and Kulap count down Billboard’s Top 5 Rock Songs while they mourn the state of the modern musical and Steve gives the scoop on his podcast We’re No Doctors. Later, they swap holiday movie picks while counting down iTunes’ Top 5 Selling Movies, and Engineer Cody Ramhand joins in for a specialty chanteuse quiz during Two Charted.

This episode is sponsored by Sock Panda (code: WHOCHARTED15).

Thought experiment time: what’s the best episode of your favorite TV show? No matter what the series, from Mad Men to Seinfeld to Battlestar Galactica, it’s a surprisingly hard question to find an agreeable answer. But that’s what we’ve assigned Cracked’s resident TV nerds, Carmen Angelica and Brett Rader, with doing: each week they’re going to look at a different popular TV series and try to determine its best episode ever. In the past two weeks they’ve discussed Friends and Adventure Time, and this week, as a special bonus for Cracked Podcast listeners, we’re posting their discussion about 30 Rock. 

Best Episode Ever releases new episodes every Tuesday and is back next week on their own feed to talk about Arrested Development. Click here to find links to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Stitcher: https://goo.gl/CxWzkj

A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative man.

Adam Scott Aukerman return to discuss U2’s fourteenth studio album Songs of Experience and with the permission of the band give listeners an EXCLUSIVE first listen to the album track by track. Plus, we get a much needed Harry Potter and Halloween update from Adam and much more!

Buy new U Talkin’ U2 To Me? t-shirts at podswag.com.

Corrine Fisher & Krystyna Hutchinson of the Guys We F***ked podcast join Zach and Jess for the ultimate sewer rat, sentient object & chain restaurant musical. With songs like “Waving In Front Of A Faucet”, “Takes A Whole Room To Make A Bathroom” and “Taco Bell”, you’ll be craving some Cheesy Gordita Crunch wraps and breadsticks after belting along to these tunes. 

Rapper District 21 joins Jensen and Matty to talk about Jensen knowing his grandmother, being on tour with Lil Wayne, Friday on Elm Street, HQ Trivia, My Week with Marilyn, how we were late on The Handmaid’s Tale, and many more things you should know about.

This episode is brought to you by Omaha Steaks (www.omahasteaks.com code: GETUP) and MVMT Watches (www.mvmt.com/GETUP).

Comedian Jimmy Pardo hosts a pop culture game show-interview podcast; three call-in contestants vie for prizes. Special guest: Rich Sommer.

This episode is sponsored by Sock Fancy (code: GAMES).