Protect your cats from cat shavers and tune into today’s improv4humans with incredible improvisers Tim Meadows, Horatio Sanz, and Sean Conroy! Stop kicking those pigs and listen to improvised scenes about drone boobs, smiling for pictures, and cum weighing. Check out the full video at youtube.com/Earwolf and be sure to pick up an improv4humans shirt from the Earwolf Store and follow @MattBesser on Twitter to send in your improv suggestions. Music by Bobby Matthews and Dragoon. You can also now get Matt Besser’s new comedy album “The Six Most Important Sets in the History of Standup” at mattbesser.com! Watch an all new live streaming improv4humans at 9pm EST/6pm PST this Thursday, Feb. 28 at http://YouTube.com/Earwolf

Jake’s longtime friend Jon Glaser stops by to be blown away by the garage rock band The Monks, take a look at some great rock covers, and more on this week’s edition of THE FOGELNEST FILES! Jon tells us about the origin of his book My Dead Dad Was in ZZ Top, the various Quadrophenia references scattered in Delocated, and why he turned down the offer to direct the big screen adaptation of Jersey Boys. Jake & Jon watch some amazing clips that include; David Bowie on Soul Train, the Chris Holmes pool interview from The Decline of Western Civilization Part II, and late period Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons. Make sure to go leave reviews for The Monk’s “Black Monk Time” in “The Fogelnest Files” section on iTunes. If you’re in Los Angeles on the day this drops, come to the LIVE taping of a special Burning Love episode of THE FOGELNEST FILES with Nick Kroll and June Diane Raphael at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre! Get tickets at www.ucbtheatre.com

Is everyone racist? Andrew Ti and guest Julian McCullough get into a great discussion on their personal definitions of racism, the dangers of answering yes to this question, and the simple answer to the question. Challenge us with a question by leaving a message at (323) 389-RACE.

Ku-Ku & Wie-Wie brought the charts to the bay area with special guest Michael Showalter! Recorded live from the San Francisco Sketchfest, they talk Digital Underground & other bay area rappers as they count down Complex’s Greatest Bay Area Rap Songs. We hear about Michael’s first time smoking weed as they countdown Total Film’s Coolest Movie Monkeys and he also gives us an oral history of his sketch group The State as he shows off his incredible whacking skills at a game of Chart Piñata. KOALA!

Whispers are used as the gang finally stumbles upon the collector’s control room. While figuring out what their next move will be, Amarth Amon (Brian Posehn) & Mildred Maxton (Sarah Guzzardo) surprise each other by switching roles and Blackee Green (Blaine Capatch), Bartho Shett (Ken Daly) & Carn (Mr. Sark) eagerly wait to see the possible action unfold near the 2 hostages. There will be ear plugging, tears and more of Blaine’s ads!

Matty McLoughlin of The Soft Pack catches up with Har Mar on today’s Nocturnal Emotions! Matty & Har Mar talk about the late Kirby Puckett, staying in strange places while on tour, and how Matty has always attracted others to push his buttons. They then create a comedy about shitty Americans abroad and play a game of Let Me Ruin Your Favorite Song with Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative.”

Combat Jack returns to the program via voicemail to ask Andrew Ti & this week’s guest Julian McCullough if his co-workers ignoring him out in the street is racist. Plus, Julian shares his theory on why people in Los Angeles are nicer than people in New York. After you fuck with your co-workers, call and leave a message at (323) 389-RACE.

For the first time in 2013 the Blastoff crew is back in the hatch! Kyle and Tig describe their torrid love affair in New York, and then they discuss motherhood, diarrhea, and Seinfeld impressions. They then welcome fan and friend Daniel Alberto to the show. He discusses his life in high school and how he navigates those mercurial waters. It’s a funny and poignant talk about the perils and joys of youth. Don’t miss it Blastronauts.

Sean and Hayes are excited about taping their Reality Show Show pilot, give their impressions of the new cast of The Amazing Race, and then talk about the drastic format changes made to the Top Chef finale. Eventually, PAUL F. TOMPKINS graces us with his presence to tell us about why he will never recap American Idol again, his enjoyment of watching So You Think You Can Dance, and does his best at a game of Is This A Real Reality Show.

Anything goes as the lovely and alluring Ben Hoffman of Comedy Central’s The Ben Show stops by the county to give us a preview of his new sketch show, he tells us about his first day moving to Hollywood, and shares his love of keeping up with Kentucky sports. Dan Van Kirk is here with insane stories from Michigan, Ohio and of course Florida that involve; sex on the beach, a vintage porn collection being stolen, and a landlord who whipped his tardy-paying tenant. Then we listen to a pre-Oscars Alan Arkin voicemail. Don’t forget to get your tickets for a special screening of “Breaking Away” with Randy & Jason as part of the 2nd Annual Wayne Federman International Film Festival on February 28th at Cinefamily in Los Angeles!

Be sure to join us next week for a romantic/musical movie that is even better than Les Mis. Paul reads some of the many Corrections & Omissions for Nothing But Trouble, shares some pizza tips, and explains the movie selection process for the show. Plus, Paul debuts a very special fan made musical piece!

People of the internet, chill out on the racism. Andrew Ti and special guest Julian McCullough discuss the reasons behind someone using a picture of a person of a different race as their Twitter avatar. Keep the internet a cool place and make sure to leave us a message at (323) 389-RACE.

Kevin Dorff, Robert Dassie, and Fran Gillespie are back to talk about high school plays and what is considered a whore in 8th grade in a bonus episode of improv4humans! Enjoy!

Building The Track is back with a vengeance! With a 20 minute timer, Axmaster Brian Huskey and Jon Daly predicted and then made the next big indie rock hit called “Some People’s Other Friends”. Look for it at the next Coachella & Bonnaroo. M83 watch yr back!

(Cyrus Ghahremani on engineering & keys and Brett Morris on bass)

Two immense stars from the world of music, “Weird Al” Yankovic & Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber are on today’s Comedy Bean Bag! After chatting with Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber about English accents, the Little Prince, and nautical bed bugs, the Vicar of Yanks himself joins in on the conversation. There will be talk of drugs, what we shouldn’t expect from the next “Weird Al” album, and an intense game of Would You Rather? Homonyms!

Andrew Ti is joined by the lovely Julian McCullough today to talk about going to the whitest high school, Canada, and if white girls getting cornrows is racist. Stay away from getting dreadlocks white people and everyone be sure to call us at (323) 389-RACE to ask us about anything you might think is racist.

The delightful and hilarious Jenny Slate visits the calming shores to talk about the psychic who predicted her career, her obsession with Gloria Estefan, and the time she dropped an F bomb on SNL. They also cover their favorite writers, Vince Young’s spending habits, and how Larry Bird’s son finally mucked up his father’s good name. Tom Leykis then comes by to offset the lady energy. Listen and laugh and be sure to get your tickets for a special screening of “Breaking Away” with Randy & Jason as part of the 2nd Annual Wayne Federman International Film Festival on February 28th at Cinefamily in Los Angeles

You know this bubbly gem from Are You There, Chelsea and the LA improv scene, LAUREN LAPKUS came by and we talked travel nightmares, bathroom scenarios, and why one should NEVER body pack drugs. Enjoy!

Attraction is complicated. Andrew Ti and Todd Levin address the question if dating outside your race is racist. Probably if you’re bragging about it and taking count how many times you do it. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Explore America on today’s Two Charted! Kulap counts down the top 5 cities in the U.S. she’d like to visit and then they explain why you need to travel with friends and not family, why Castles are better than skyscrapers, and why Maine may be another country. Howard turns into his brother Lee and steals the limelight and then switches back and counts down the top 5 selling albums on Bandcamp. Howard also describes the creative process behind his new album’s cover art, and how to best learn a new language. Brush up on your Spanish skills! And be sure to pick Dragon Boy Suede’s new ablum “Douche Minutiae”.

Oscar season is upon us so who better to join us than Oscar-nominated actor Philip Seymour Hoffman and fan favorite Nick Thune on this week’s bonus episode of Comedy Bang Bang! Philip gives us a preview of his upcoming Orson Welles project right before Scott’s nephew Todd interrupts the program. We then play a game of Fortunately, Unfortunately until a special guest graces us with his presence!

Blow your nose and tune into the best podcast in the universe! Kevin Dorff, Robert Dassie, and Fran Gillespie use things that are bothering them and Twitter suggestions to inspire scenes about ski courses, John Wilkes Booth, and Fabio. Be sure to pick up an improv4humans shirt from the Earwolf Store and follow @MattBesser on Twitter to send in your improv suggestions. Music by Bobby Matthews and Dragoon. You can also now get Matt Besser’s new comedy album “The Six Most Important Sets in the History of Standup” at mattbesser.com!

The one and only Fred Stoller is here to rant about Best Week Ever, hipsters pretending to be nerds, and Dennis Miller on today’s episode of THE FOGELNEST FILES! Fred shares his love of character actors, expands on some of the amazing stories from his Amazon Kindle Single My Seinfeld Year, and talks about his infamous agent Ari Emanuel. Then Fred & Jake take a look at a couple of clips that include; footage of the New York Improv from the 1970s, Jimmy “Dy-no-mite!” Walker, and Tootsie. Make sure to go leave reviews for which Bob Newhart show you liked better in “The Fogelnest Files” section on iTunes. Don’t forget to get your tickets for the special Burning Love episode of THE FOGELNEST FILES with Nick Kroll and June Diane Raphael on Thursday, February 28th at UCB-LA!

Andrew Ti and this week’s guest Todd Levin say fuck you to the Mummers Parade for thinking black face gets a pass for being part of a “tradition.” Tell us about any other racist traditions by leaving a message at (323) 389-RACE.

Newsreaders’ own Mather Zickel stops by to tell us about his boarding school days on today’s Who Charted! Mather talks to us about falling asleep in a construction zone in New York, witch trials, and country groups during the Billboard Country Songs Music Chart. We then chat about Rom Coms, Lincoln, and long winded pilots as we count down the Movie Chart. Also, Mather shares a drinking story from his senior year of boarding school as he takes his chances at a game of Chart Roulette!

Brian forgets his D&D gear so we are treated to listening to him call his babysitter to get all his character info. Then we get back to where we left off on the cargo lift as it goes straight up when suddenly, 3 pairs of feet are spotted across the lift. Bartho Shett (Ken Daly) decides to unleash his dragon breath on them, Amarth Amon (Brian Posehn) will follow up with a devastating strike, Blackee Green (Blaine Capatch) attacks with his dire radiance, and Mildred Maxton (Sarah Guzzardo) stays back to keep an eye on their 2 hostages. Plus, Sark & the gang talk about the first time they saw Troll 2 in another edition of Sweet Sweet Days of Past.

The magnificent Ted Leo joins Har Mar today to talk about recording with Aimee Mann, drunk wrestling, and competitive yoga. They also chat about the insanity of touring alone, the brilliance of Phil Collins, and Ted shares a road story of a grueling gig in Columbia, South Carolina. Plus, the guys pitch a time traveling show that might change the future for the worse during Let’s Create A Show and have a tough time ruining Quit Your Dayjob’s “Look! A Dollar” while playing a game of Let Me Ruin Your Favorite Song.

The Source’s own Combat Jack leaves Andrew Ti and Todd Levin a question about the possible racism from a fellow parent at his kids high school who always approaches him with the line “Yo, what’s up son?” Think something might be racist? Then call and leave a message at (323) 389-RACE.

The League’s Steve Rannazzisi joined us on a journey into the weird mind of Dan Aykroyd as we watched the truly upsetting Nothing But Trouble. We discuss the baffling set up to the drastically different second half of the movie, if the 2 large greasy men in diapers are indeed humans, and why Digital Underground would choose to take the detour into the run-down village of Valkenvania. We also talk about how John Candy looked depressed to be in this movie, Dan Aykroyd’s obsession with gadgets, and the fact that there are no jokes in this movie.

Recorded live in San Francisco it’s Star Wars nirvana on today’s Professor Blastoff! The hosts start by discussing their tour of Skywalker Ranch which included pizza, cake, and an epic shirtless hill climbing competition. Star Wars expert Pablo Hidalgo then joins the gang and answers all their deepest questions about Star Wars including; R2D2’S gender, the nature of the force, and whether Han shot first!!!!! It ends with Pablo revealing intriguing details about the great film series during a game of “What’s Nuts?”!