Just because Paul is hard at work down in New Orleans doesn’t mean we can’t make time to watch a shitty movie. And trust us, this week’s movie is one of the shittiest. We’re finally tackling one of our most highly requested movies, so prepare yourself and we’ll see you next week!

With the Spring 2012 semester coming to a close, we are contractually obligated to have our 15 year-old intern Marissa Wompler visit. I cannot reiterate how much this is not our choice, especially now that she’s accompanied by her faculty mentor Miss Listler. We try to make the best of it with the return of Jukebox Jury and a game of What Am I Thinking?, but try as we might we can’t seem to pry Marissa away from her constant need to yell and discuss her changing body. Once again, our apologies.

The Apple Sisters are back from break and promoting their new record ‘1943’. It’s a masterpiece you aren’t going to want to miss, but in the mean time, the Apple Sister’s have a special April Fool’s program for you!

Ben is a great actor who you know from Parks & Rec and House of Lies. This guy can crack wise.

Folks, prepare yourselves! Prepare yourselves for an over-sized load of Sklarbro Country with special guests Jim Gaffigan and Colin Hay! Colin treats us to his amazing songs, delights us with his rock star stories, and cracks us up as he joins in on Quick Hits. Jim Gaffigan pulls out his college football history, tells the tale of a spectacularly bad corporate gig, and explains the preparation and planning that went into his new special Mr. Universe. Don’t worry, we saved enough time for a phone call from Racist Vin Scully and a message from Mark Wahlberg. Now take that money Kris Humphries gave you and pick up Mr. Universe. Then tell everyone how great it is with a letter sent with Stamps.com!

We’re trying something new this week on Two Charted! We have a special guest joining Howard, Kulap, and Dustin and his name is Neil Mahoney! Neil has directed pretty much every comedy special you love, and he’s here to dive into Howard’s mixed bag of incidents and vids, Kulap’s road trip tunes, and bring it back to his brand new movie Freak Dance. It’s a big longer than the usual Two Charted, when when you get into conversation topics like the swallowing of gum, you have to explore it!

There is no easy way to describe Jensen Karp other than fascinating. He was a rapper who loved The Simpsons, the curator of several pop culture art galleries, a marketer who worked on Lost, and he has some amazing stories about his family, his therapist, the adult film industry, and his relationship to Tyler the Creator. Plus, we talk about reefer and “slits.” Enjoy!

There is so much going on in the lives of Ronna and Beverly. They have a new British television show and a complicated baby shower to prepare for, so it is shocking that they had time to sit down with the beautiful, vegetarian, possibly-lesbian actress Elizabeth Reaser. Elizabeth explains the allure of tofurkey and the rigorous coursework of theater school. Plus, she clears up some misconceptions about vampires and werewolves and everything else Twilight.

We’re back again with more previously unreleased Comedy Bang Bang hilarity. This time first time guests Leo Allen and Will Forte remember some of their favorite rejected SNL pitches, discuss the tragedy of divorce, and try their hand at a brand new game: JING IT OR DING IT!

At the risk of rambling on and on like a woman, let me just say that we have a phenomenal improv4humans for you today. Joe Wengert, Amanda Sitko, and Andy Daly are the guests as we meet shitty bullies and dumbass counter culture kids. Warning: This episode MIGHT send you into a hospital rage! Be sure to pick up an improv4humans shirt from the Earwolf Store and follow @MattBesser on Twitter to send in your improv suggestions. Music by Bobby Matthews and Dragoon.

Given Howard’s affinity for reds, we were more than happy to have Julie Klausner bring her New York hipness and Jewish nerdyness to Who Charted? for a look at the Billboard Heatseekers Chart and Movie Chart. We know she doesn’t care about your band, but what are her thoughts on Steven Seagal movies, Julia Roberts career resurgence, and Mindy Cohn’s fighting ability? Julie also treats us to a round of Chart Darts with bonus insight into her auburn brethren. We’ll see all you Bridgetown Chartists in Portland this Saturday at 3 PM at the Bagdad Theater!

If you love Star Wars and Spaceballs, you’ll LOVE The Adventures of Pluto Nash. This intergalactic flop will leave you questioning Eddie Murphy’s career choices, the future of civilization, and your own sanity. Our guests Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair are down to deconstruct the confusing costuming and cloning that left us all stunned. Watch it if you must, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

This week we’re giving you Comedy Bang Bang listeners a little treat: Two previously unreleased episodes with some behind-the-curtain commentary courtesy of Scott Aukerman. Today’s episode features Seth Morris in the role he was born to play: Himself! We also meet a brand new character from first-time guest Ed Helms. If you like learning how the bread is made, come back on Thursday for another look inside the Comedy Bang Bang vault.

We have no doubt that Sklarbro Country residents were and are huge Arrested Development fans. This week on the show we have the hook-handed youngest brother Tony Hale in the studio to tell us about his real life relationship with Liza Minnelli and how some inappropriate rubbing helped him land the role of Buster Bluth. He also offers up some psychiatric advice in a quick hits segment that will make you look at this country in a whole new, double-fat-fried light. Plus Bryant Gumbel is on the blower to give us some closing remarks on his brother’s attempt at sports broadcasting. Click here to watch Lance Armstrong lose gracefully in the Galveston Ironman competition, click here to vote for Sklarbro Country in The Comedy Awards, and click here to pick up Sklarbro Country LIVE from SXSW. It’s just that simple!

Kate Spencer: Mother, actress, writer, and total badass. We are so so SO happy Kate joined us this week to talk about showbiz parents, Kony 2012, and her working relationship with Oprah (that’s right, she has one!). Is it too early for us to arrange a play date for our future kids? I hope not, because Kate is exactly the kind of mommy friend we can get excited about! Enjoy!

There is a lot to do to prepare for Passover. The table needs to be set, the haggadah must be prepared, but if you have a little extra time before your family gets there, why not enjoy this bonus minisode of Ronna & Beverly? L’shanah haba’ah b’Yerushalayim!

Put down your remote control and pick up today’s episode of Two Charted! Kulap shares her Sunday night line-up with her Boob Tube Picks of the Week and Howard shines a light on his shopping experience with his Top 5 7-Eleven Experiences. We delve deep into television culture and fruit hygiene, so pick up a Slurpee and enjoy!

Did you know that if you don’t listen to improv4humans, your mother will have seven years of bad luck with a black cat? Okay, so that might not be true, but you absolutely should tune in to hear Allan McLeod, Stephanie Allynne, and Joe Wengert join Matt Besser and turn into rude rock stars, avant-garde make-up artists, and carnival barkers. Plus, we get into the age old debate: What does “alt comedy” mean exactly? Be sure to pick up an improv4humans shirt from the Earwolf Store and follow @MattBesser on Twitter to send in your improv suggestions. Music by Bobby Matthews and Dragoon.

Toilets, exposed body parts, . . . pornography?! One horror story about pumping at work.

To join the conversation about this episode, go to http://longestshortesttime.com

Moshe Kasher has an “interesting relationship with urine,” a famous former hairdresser, and a brand new book you have to check out called Kasher in the Rye: A True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16! He’s back on Who Charted? for a look at the Dusted Magazine Music Chart, the weekend box office rankings, and to meet our little friend Hermes the Chart Goose. You can find out a lot about Moshe from his book, but you will only learn about wolf tickets, Muppet Babies sex talk, and Moshe’s famous initials here on Who Charted? Pick up his book (if you use the link in the description, you can help out Who Charted? while you do it) and enjoy!

We have an extra extra special minisode for you this week! We brought our guests Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair in a week early so you can get to know them and find out about their awesome new show Best Friends Forever. They talk about making out with each other, highlights of the first season, and awesome guest stars so that next week we can get down to the nitty gritty. See you then!

What would you do if I sang out of tune? I’d tell you to shut up because we have actor and director Fred Savage on the show and he’s giving us secrets and scoops from the set of The Wonder Years as well as NBC’s Best Friends Forever, which he directed. We’ve also invited a couple of Fred’s fans to join us, Pam and Len Bicell, who treat us to some sensual fan-fiction and an equally sensual round of Would You Rather?! Now make like Fred Savage and vote for Comedy Bang Bang in The Comedy Awards!

Jon Daly is back with a vengeance! Rafflecast is back and is bringing you more sketches, impressions, songs, and celebrity guests like Rob Huebel! Wake up from your NPR induced nap, tell those shock jocks to shut the fuck up, and spend an hour with the greatest innovator in the history of spoken word entertainment, Jon Daly!

This week’s Sklarbro Country will fill you up with comedy like a one-pound hot dog will with cholesterol! Saturday Night Live’s Taran Killam makes his maiden voyage to the calming shores and brings with him behind-the-scenes stories and audition tales that SNL die-hards have to hear. From his Sklar-esque characters to his hilarious Tim Tebow sketch, he gives us great insight into the comedy institution. We also have a call with Gary Busey who didn’t get the memo about our awesome SXSW show with Ryan Stout and The Sheepdogs. He should head over to the Earwolf Store and pick up the show (including video) for $4.99, and you should too! And while you’re at it, cast your vote for Sklarbro Country in The Comedy Awards. HENDERSON!

Michael McMillian is super talented, crazy funny, AND a Laimewad! He’s awesome on True Blood, but he’s even better in our living room discussing UFOs, botox, name changing and lying. He even mediates as it gets a little heated between hosts. We loved having him on and we know you’ll love hearing him. Enjoy!

What a cutie we have for you this week! Natasha Leggero is absolutely darling, and despite the fact that she insisted on discussing disgusting issues of sanitation with us, we still love her and would love to have her as a Facebook friend. Enjoy!

Have a snack and drink some juice before you tune in this week. On this episode of Two Charted we get a dizzying look at Howard’s medical past with his Top 5 Fainting Spells Chart. Kulap keeps it classic with her chart which examines the top tunes, flicks, and television shows of the week. From “girl rock” to Kulap’s non-crush on Don Draper, we’re counting it all down and we want you to join us! That is, if you aren’t feeling too weak.

Today’s improv4humans will be with you for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, even if you have your genitals ripped off, and even if you have your eyes replaced with baby eyes. Isn’t that what love really is? Our guests are Seth Morris, Brian Huskey, and Lauren Lapkus who treat you to a round of improv more exciting than a helicopter ride and more erotic than a rainbow blow job.  Be sure to pick up an improv4humans shirt from the Earwolf Store and follow @MattBesser on Twitter to send in your improv suggestions. Music by Bobby Matthews and Dragoon.

You don’t have to be a fifty-something year old Jewish woman to enjoy this episode, but if you are we welcome you! Our guests are the fabulous Ronna Glickman and Beverly Ginsburg, authors of You’ll Do a Little Better Next Time:  A Guide to Marriage and Remarriage for Jewish Singles and hosts of their very own Earwolf podcast Ronna & Beverly. The ladies join us for a look at the iTunes Top 5 Country Singles Chart, our good old Movies Chart, and a game of Chart Roulette. If you’re curious about your great-aunt’s take on The Hunger Games or want to what know your sweet older neighbor thinks of Carrie Underwood, this is as close as you could possibly get without actually talking to them.

Don’t listen to this episode unless you’re prepared to get Tig’d! This week we find out what’s up with astrobiology from the ever-giggly Emily Rittershaus. From tuberculosis to ice people, we learn about the little creatures living in our bodies and in the bottom of the ocean. So, in a nutshell: We have a great new Professor Blastoff!